


You Were Made To Be Mine

by lovelarry10



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Belly Bulging, Blow Jobs, Concerts, Drunk Sex, Face-Fucking, Family Feels, Famous Harry, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Handcuffs, Happy Ending, Harry in Lingerie, Impregnation Kink, Italy, Kid Fic, Kissing, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Lingerie, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Non-Famous Louis, Oral Sex, Pining, Popstar Harry, Prompt Fic, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Singer Harry, Single Parent Louis, Single Parents, Skype Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Surrogacy, Tattoos, Tour Bus, Touring, Wooing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-29 16:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 84
Words: 554,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14476410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this amazing prompt](https://twitter.com/larryareathome/status/990099823331303424) I found on Twitter! Thank you for letting me write it. 
> 
> I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations. It's a long chaptered fic, and I don't know how many chapters it'll be yet, but this will definitely be completed, and updated every few days.
> 
> Title is from 'Rewrite the Stars' by Zac Efron and Zendaya.
> 
> Ficboard by me, manip credit to [ dimploux on Twitter.](https://twitter.com/dimploux) Other manips and those used through the fic all belong to their owners, not myself. I simply used them to create the instagram/twitter posts.
> 
> Come and chat to me about this on [ Twitter! ](https://twitter.com/oneolddirection)
> 
>  
> 
> **AUTHOR NOTE regarding the timeline:**  
>  _3 years before this fic takes place, Harry released an album. It didn't do too well. Then he released 'Only Angel' which became a huge hit about 18 months ago. Then 6 months later came the album, i.e. Harry Styles, the album we all have. This album has been a runaway success and he's now on a World Tour. These European dates are last, as opposed to first as they are in real life._

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob celebrates his sixth birthday and gets given the best birthday present ever from his dad Louis...

 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Jacob…. Happy birthday to you!” Louis sang loudly, the cake he’d made cradled carefully in his hands as he crouched in front of his son, his face lit by the candles that adorned the top of it. He’d managed to get a rice paper topper of Harry Styles on eBay, and he’d stuck it on the top of his homemade chocolate cake with plenty of buttercream icing, and the effort had been worth it due to Jacob’s huge smile. “Blow out the candles then, love” Louis encouraged, and laughed as Jacob struggled to blow them out in one breath.

His grandparents and cousins cheered when they were all out, and Louis stayed still for a moment, letting his little boy take a good look at the cake.

“Daddy, this cake is amazing!” he said with a gleeful smile on his face. “It’s Harry’s face, that’s so cool!” He followed Louis as he walked through to the kitchen, ready to cut it up into slices. As he wielded the knife, ready to cut it, Jacob shrieked out suddenly. “No! Daddy, take a picture of the cake first so I can print it out and show my friends!” Louis laughed but complied, first taking a picture of the cake on the plate, then one of Jacob holding it, smiling broadly.

“Now, go and sit with Grandma while I cut this up, then I’ve got your final present for you,” Louis said, leading his son out of the room, grabbing a stack of plates when he turned back around. His sister Lottie came in the room then and wrapped her arm around her big brother’s waist. The dulcet tones of Harry Styles’ voice filled the house again as Jacob started up his favourite CD, singing along loudly to his favourite song,  _Only Angel._

“He’s a great kid, Lou, you should be so proud of him,” she said, handing Louis plates as he cut the cake into small slices. She smiled fondly at her brother, filled with pride at how he was juggling everything in his life. “Love ya, you know.”

“Love you too Lots. And yeah, he’s pretty great. God knows who he gets that from,” he said with a roll of his eyes, watching as Lottie balanced a few plates on her forearms, well practised thanks to her waitressing job, following her with his and Jacob’s plates, setting his son’s down on the coffee table along with a spoon to help eliminate as much mess as he could. He sat down next to his mum and watched as Jacob gobbled the cake up eagerly, crumbs flying everywhere as he gestured with his hands as he spoke, spoon in his hand. Louis just sighed and resigned himself to yet more hoovering when Jacob had gone to bed.

Jay, Lottie and Félicité cleaned away the plates while Louis wiped Jacob’s chocolatey mouth, and soon they were all sat again, Jacob on his grandma’s knee while Louis fetched the last of his son’s presents from his bedroom. He was impressed with the sparkly silver envelope he’d found in the shop the other day, and he’d written JACOB on the front in bright red letters, his favourite colour. He sat down and smiled at his son, who was looking a little sleepy now.

“Okay kiddo, last gift.” He handed over the envelope and Jacob hopped up, coming to kiss his dad first before he started to open it. Louis held the envelope still while Jacob worked it open, and lifted the flap, pulling out the piece of paper inside. He frowned as he sounded out the words on the things in front of him, and Louis knew the exact moment when he’d worked out what it was he was holding in his little hands.

“Tickets to see Harry Styles?! No way Daddy! When are we going?!” Jacob was jumping up and down in his excitement, and everyone was grinning, happy he loved the gift as much as they all thought he would.

“How about… tomorrow?” Louis said teasingly, and Jacob’s little jaw visibly dropped, nodding so hard Louis was afraid his head might somehow fall off. “You wanna go to Manchester Arena tomorrow and see Harry Styles then babe? Sing along to his songs?”

“Yeah! Will he sing  _Only Angel_?!” Jacob ran and grabbed his CD from the side, pointing to the title, almost ramming the box into Louis’ face. Louis held it away gently, and nodded, pulling the excited little person onto his lap, watching how he stared reverently at the photo of Harry’s grinning face on the cover.

“I expect so love. And you know Uncle Liam works at the arena? He’s going to make sure we’re at the front so you can see Harry really well, but you have to wear your ear defenders because it’s going to be really loud, okay Jake?” He wasn’t sure Jacob had heard him at all, but still, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest for his son, knowing how much this meant to him.

Jacob had been a huge fan of the singer Harry Styles for years now. He’d heard his first song  _Only Angel_ when he started school a few years ago, and Louis had to search high and low when they’d heard it on the radio in the car, Jacob always requesting he put the ‘angel’ song whenever they drove anywhere. His obsession had only grown from there, and Harry’s album was the only music he ever played. It was on Jacob’s little iPod, in Louis’ car… everywhere they went, Harry Styles’ voice followed them. At this point, Louis felt a little like it was the soundtrack to his life. Luckily, it wasn’t offensive and Louis quite enjoyed the majority of the songs.

“Jake?” Louis nudged him gently, breaking Jacob from his daze. “You okay love? You excited?”

“I can’t believe I’m going to see Harry Styles in front of my own eyes Daddy. This is gonna be amazing. Is it really tomorrow? You’re not tricking me are you?” Louis smiled and shook his head.

“Nope, it’s really tomorrow, look, the date is on your ticket.” He pointed at the printed words on the ticket, and Jacob’s face lit up with another smile. “Right, give everyone a kiss and cuddle and say thank you for your presents, it’s time for bed.” Louis watched as Jacob made his way around their family, kissing and hugging everyone tightly. Louis loved how close he was to his family, that’s the way Louis had been raised and he was proud to be passing that onto his own offspring. Jacob tiredly held his arms to Louis, telling him he wanted to be carried up the stairs, and waved as they left the room together.

“You’re the best daddy in the world you know,” Jacob mumbled as Louis tucked him under the Batman duvet cover Liam had gotten him for his birthday. Louis flicked off the main light, leaving his room bathed in the soft glow of his bedside lamp. He had a big Harry Styles poster on one wall that Louis honestly found a little creepy, especially in the darkness. “Do I still have to go to school tomorrow or can I stay home with you?”

“Hey, don’t be cheeky! I have work tomorrow and you have school, we don’t have to be at the concert until 7 o’clock anyway because Uncle Liam is going to let us in. Now, go to sleep because it’s going to be a late night tomorrow. Love you sweetheart, and happy birthday again. Can’t believe my baby boy is 6 now!”

“Hey, I’m your big boy now, silly Daddy!” Jacob giggled as Louis pressed kisses all over his little face, finally flicking off the light before he left the room, leaving the door ajar so the landing light lit up his room slightly. Louis quietly went down the stairs, and was grateful to see his family had cleared up the aftermath of his little party while he’d been gone. He fell back onto the sofa and sighed, shutting his eyes with exhaustion.

“So… you looking forward to seeing Harry Styles then?” Félicité teased, a small smile on her lips. Louis glared at her and rolled his eyes.

“Could be worse, could be going to see Disney on Ice or some shit,” he said with a laugh. “Nah, it’ll be good cos I know Jake’s gonna love it. I just can’t believe how obsessed he is with this Harry bloke. How many 6 year olds know the words to an entire album? My boy is nuts.” He picked up the envelope with the tickets inside and stood up, tucking it onto the bookshelf so it wouldn’t get lost.

“We better leave you to it, Lou, you look exhausted,” Jay said, stepping over to her son and wrapping her arms around him in a big cuddle. “Thanks for the food and cake, you did a great job, Jake loved it. If I don’t speak to you before, have an amazing time at the concert, send me lots of photos okay?” Louis nodded and hugged everyone else before he stood at his front door, waving as the family drove away. He stepped inside his now-quiet house, locking the door behind him before he went up to bed himself.

He peeked into Jacob’s room, pleased to see him sound asleep now, snoring away into his pillow, one leg on top of the quilt as he usually did. Louis did his teeth and used the toilet before he peeled off his clothes, slipping into his bed in just his boxers, exhaustion creeping into his bones now. He may only be 27 but there were times he felt double that, and this was one of them. Louis reached across and plugged his iPhone into the charger and set his alarm for the morning before he finally pulled the quilt up to his chin, feeling a little chilly and wishing he had someone warm to cuddle up to.

*****

“Bye, Mr Tomlinson!” Katie called as she ran across the playground to her mum, the lady waving politely at Louis as he stepped back in and closed the classroom door behind him. She was the last of the children to leave the after-school club Louis worked at, and when he turned around, he was pleased to see Jacob already helping the other members of staff tidy up, picking up the pieces of an abandoned jigsaw puzzle and carefully putting them into the right box.

“Well done kiddo,” Louis said, ruffling Jacob’s hair as he walked past, stooping to pick up the pile of painting aprons abandoned on the floor by the sink. It took him a few minutes to hang them back on the pegs, but eventually he was done and ready to go home. He signed both himself and Jacob out, picking up his little ‘Harry Styles’ backpack from Jacob’s peg and helping him into his little blue winter coat, fastening the zip up to his chin. “Ready? We need to get you home and in the bath before we get dressed for Harry’s show.”

Jacob slid his little hand into Louis’ as they walked across the car park and he climbed into his car seat, waiting patiently for his dad to come and secure his straps as he always did. They headed off home, and when they pulled into their driveway, Jacob checked it was okay to hop out before he did, waiting patiently at the front door while Louis collected their bags. They got in, Jacob ate a snack, and had a bath, telling Louis he had to look squeaky clean for the show.

Louis got in the shower while Jacob dressed himself, promising his dad he had the perfect outfit. When Louis emerged, dressed in a plain white t-shirt, denim shirt and his skinny jeans, he bit back a laugh at his son’s smart appearance, a complete contrast to his own more casual attire. Jacob had picked out a smart white shirt, a bright pink tie, and a blue blazer and trousers.

“Erm, you look very smart love, but don’t you want something more casual?” Louis said as he pinned Jacob’s ‘6 TODAY!’ badge to his lapel.

“Nah Daddy, Harry always wears a suit and I want to match him,” he said with a big toothy grin, making Louis return the smile to him. He nodded and watched the little boy head downstairs, pulling on his school shoes, Louis following and shoving his feet into his usual Van’s, determined to feel comfortable as he knew he was going to be on his feet all night.

The drive to the arena didn’t take too long, and Louis held up a pass to a security guard which let him into a special area of the car park, thanks to Liam of course. There was swarms of people walking into the arenas, some draped in rainbow flags, others in their best dresses, some more casual like Louis. He held his son’s hand as they walked across the car park, Jacob eagerly clutching his ticket like it was made of gold or something equally as precious. Firstly, Louis headed over to the merchandise stand, having promised Jacob a little something from there.

His heart fell as he saw the prices of even a basic t-shirt. His teaching assistant salary didn’t stretch to £30 for one t-shirt, but he spotted some wristbands he knew his son would love, and they were only £8. He hurried to the desk and picked Jacob up onto his hip.

“You like these, love?” Louis asked, pointing at the bands behind the glass case. Jacob nodded and Louis caught the attention of the staff member, asking to buy a set. They were popped into a white ‘Treat People With Kindness’ carrier bag which Jacob took with a polite “thank you very much”, wriggling to be let down from Louis’ grasp. “Sorry I couldn’t get you a t-shirt love, they’re just a lot of pennies, and Daddy had to save up to buy the tickets-”

“I love these bands Daddy, I bet Harry wears them too! Can you help me put them on?” Louis’ heart filled up with pride at his son’s selflessness, happy to just be given a small souvenir from their trip and he helped Jacob slide them onto his small wrists, looking at them with pride. “Take a photo so I can send it to Grandma!” Jacob said, and held up his wrists, grinning broadly at Louis’ iPhone. Louis attached it to a message, whizzing it off to Jay.

He looked at the time and realised the door to the arena were now open, crowds of people walking in now. He headed for the floor doors, showing the special pass he’d been given by Liam, and a guard asked him to wait while they fetched someone.

“Uncle Li!” Jacob called when he spotted the broad-shouldered man heading over, a security pass dangling from his neck. Liam lifted him up and kissed his cheek before smiling at Louis.

“Hey little dude, excited to see Harry then?” Liam asked, Jacob nodding eagerly as they walked past the queue of people waiting to get in, confused glances being thrown their way. Liam and Louis ignored them all, and slipped behind a metal barrier, getting into place. Liam put Jacob down, making sure he could see before clapping Louis on the shoulder and telling him to have a good time. “I’ll be about during the show, but I’ll make sure you get out safely yeah, just hang in here and we’ll sort you out, don’t want little man getting hurt in the exit rush,” he said, serious face on now.

“Thanks Li,” Louis said, resting a hand on Jacob’s shoulder as he craned his head, trying to get a look at the stage. Music was being pumped into the arena, and the excitement was palpable. Seats were filling fast, and even if Louis wasn’t Harry’s biggest fan, he was pretty keen to get the show started and see what the fuss was about.

Half an hour later, the lights dimmed and screams filled the arena. Fog descended on the stage as lights started beaming around. Louis bent down and put Jacob’s ear defenders in place, checking he was okay with everything that was going on but felt better when he noticed the mesmerised and excited look on his son’s face. He held onto his shoulder’s, hoping this would be everything Jacob dreamed of and more.

“Here we go Daddy!” Jacob screamed as the opening notes of  _Only Angel_ blasted out, the concert just beginning…


	2. Just Haven't Met You Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Jacob enjoy Harry’s concert, and get a lot of fan interaction much to Jacob’s delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the fantastic feedback on the prologue, so happy you guys are excited for me. This is a heck of a lot of fun to write, so I'm looking forward to more.
> 
> Here's chapter 1, where finally Jacob gets to interact with his idol!

Louis tried not to laugh as Jacob started screaming as the screen in front of them began to rise. The beginning tones of  _ Only Angel  _ were filling the arena now, lights were flashing and as soon as the first guitar riff hit, the arena went mad. Jacob was stood on the edge of the metal barrier, eyes wide and mouth opened as he watched Harry Styles in front of him on stage, lit up by a spotlight. Harry was bounding around, blowing kisses to the audience before positioning himself in front of the microphone and starting to sing. Jacob was singing along loudly, entirely out of tune but Louis stared down fondly at the awe on his son’s face.

_ “I’m just happy getting cheese stuck in between my teeth…”  _ Jacob belted out, and Louis laughed at his typically wrong lyrics. Jacob had a habit of making them up when he didn't know what it was Harry was singing, and sometimes, Louis was a little grateful that his son was only six years old and had no real concept of what it was he was singing about. Jacob’s little hands were clapping happily along the beat now, and Louis stood behind him, hands on his hips to keep him upright so he could see.

As the song came to a close, Jacob was cheering with the best of them as Harry started wandering around the stage, microphone in hand as he introduced himself before launching into the next few songs. Louis couldn’t seem to stop his feet tapping along to the beat, and he turned around, taking in the roomful of smiling, happy faces, thinking how wonderful it must be to be Harry and make people so happy just by being in a room and singing a few songs to them.

Harry stopped singing for a while, and Louis watched as his band took a quick breather, the guitar man switching out guitars, sipping from what Louis assumed was a glass of wine, and the others all downed some water as Harry made conversation with a young lady along the front row at the other end of the stage. He said a few jokes that had everyone laughing along with him, and Louis took the opportunity to check on Jacob.

“You having fun?” he asked, pulling the ear defender away from his son’s ear for a second so he could hear Louis clearly.

Jacob nodded vigorously and whipped around, a big grin still on his face. “This is the best thing ever Daddy, I can’t believe Harry Styles is there in front of me, and he singed Only Angel, it’s like he knows it’s my favourite song!” Louis chucked and ruffled his son’s hair.

“I’m sure that’s exactly why he sang it love,” he said, slipping the defender back into place as Harry picked up a guitar on stage and once again began to sing. The next few songs passed by all too quickly, and again, Harry took off his guitar, grabbing the mic from the stand and walking around in front of everyone, a big cheesy smile on his face. Louis could see the dimples in his cheeks from here, and he was surprised to find himself mulling over how attractive Harry was. Luckily, he was only a few years younger than Louis himself so he didn't feel too bad for ogling the handsome man in front of him.

“Who’s got a birthday tonight then?” Harry said into the mic, and a littany of screams rang out, Jacob joining the best of them. He was jumping up and down, pointing at his little badge on his lapel and screaming “ME HARRY I’M 6 IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!” Louis felt a little bad as he knew Harry would never spot his son and Jacob would probably feel a little upset, but Louis’ jaw dropped as Harry stopped in front of them.

“It was your birthday yesterday?!” Harry questioned, crouching down and looking directly at Jacob and Louis. Jacob just stood, frozen by the fact his favourite person on the planet (besides his dad of course) was up there and talking to him. Louis just grinned at Harry and nudged Jacob, who blinked rapidly and nodded, pointing at his badge. “Wow! You’re 6 now? That’s a cool age. What’s your name, kiddo?” Harry bent forwards and hooked out his in-ear so he could hear as Jacob shouted up to him.

“I’m Jacob William Tomlinson!” he shouted, and Louis laughed at the fact he’d given Harry his whole name, rather than just the first name Harry was after. Harry smiled back, and put his thumb up, showing he’d heard Jacob.

“Well, Jacob, Happy Birthday for yesterday! Jacob was 6 yesterday, everybody!” The arena was filled with claps and cheers, and Louis honestly thought his son might burst with pride. “And who is that rather lovely man with you tonight?” Louis felt his cheeks redden and looked down to his son, trying to avoid Harry’s gaze now.

“That’s my daddy, he’s called Louis William Tomlinson!” Jacob shouted back, and Harry smirked as Louis gazed up at him, cheeks flushed as he felt the eyes of everyone on the floor around him on the pair of them.

“Well, hello Louis, very nice to meet you, your son is adorable,” Harry began, smiling back at the pair of them. “So Jacob, what did you get for your birthday then? Anything really cool and exciting that’s going to make me jealous up here?”

Jacob nodded eagerly, and shouted out again. “Uncle Liam got me a Batman duvet cover cos I love Batman, and Grandma got me a new skateboard, and Daddy got me tickets to come and see you tonight and that was my favourite present!” Harry laughed and told the audience exactly what Jacob was telling him before he crouched again, turning back to the little boy.

“Wow, what a birthday. A Batman duvet, a skateboard  _ and _ tickets to my show! I take it you’re a fan then if your dad splashed out on tickets for tonight?”

“Yeah! I love your CD and I make daddy play it all the time in the car until he gets cross and tells me to turn it off and put on something decent for once.” Harry almost fell backwards with his laughter, and Louis felt his cheeks burning with embarrassment at his son’s honesty, hating that Harry was laughing at him too. They locked eyes momentarily, and Harry raised his eyebrows a few times, biting back the smirk on his lips.

“Well, I think you’ve got good taste Jacob. What are your 3 favourite songs of mine then?”

“Only Angel is my bestest one, but I love Sign of the Times, and Kiwi too!” Harry stuck his thumb up again.

“Great choices, I’ll be sure to look out and see if you’re dancing when we sing Kiwi at the end. In the meantime, would you like everyone here to sing you Happy Birthday, Jacob?” The little boy turned to Louis, who hoisted him up onto his shoulders so he could see properly as he nodded and grinned. “Okay everybody, please join me in singing happy birthday to Jacob who was six yesterday! And a one, and a two, and a three…”

Harry led the 15,000 strong people in the arena as they sang a painfully slow rendition of Happy Birthday, and Louis could feel Jacob’s little hands gripping his hair as he looked around, watching everyone sing to him. “Enjoy the rest of the show little man, and you too, Dad…” Harry said, winking at Louis as he took off, picking on someone else to chat to.

“Oh my god Daddy, that was amazing, Harry Styles singed me Happy Birthday!” Louis nodded and put Jacob back on the floor, letting him clamber up the barrier again. They stood together as Harry sang a few more songs before he headed off the main stage and to the smaller one in the middle of the arena. Louis told Jacob they had to watch on the big screens above the stage, and soon, Jacob turned around, mesmerised by how the room was filled with pretty lights as Harry sang softly with a guitar.

“Daddy, can I have your phone so I can hold up a light like these people?” Louis nodded and flicked on the torch of his battered old iPhone, watching as Jacob swayed it around like the people in front of him. The songs came to an end, and a beat from the drummer pulsed around the arena as Harry began his jog back to the main stage. What happened next though pretty much made Jacob’s night.

Instead of heading for the metal steps that led up to the stage, Harry veered off and his eyes were combing the audience, settling on Louis’ as he jogged over. He stopped in front of Jacob and stuck out his hand, which Jacob took, a stunned expression on his face.

“Hey Jacob, thanks for coming to see me mate, I hope you’re having fun!” Harry said, clapping him lightly on the shoulder and winking at him before he jogged back on the stage, grabbing a guitar and singing out a brand new song. Jacob was still staring at the hand that Harry had touched like it was going to drop off or something.

“Daddy - did Harry Styles just come and talk to me?” 

“He did, love! But come on, watch the show!” They clapped along and cheered as the song came to an end, and once again, Harry began talking, wandering over in their direction again, glancing at Louis.

“Let’s go and check on my new friend Jacob. There he is! You having a good time, love?” Jacob nodded, still clutching Louis’ hand, a little tired by now. “Did you like that new one? Ah, good. So Louis… are you having fun too?”

Louis gulped and nodded, smiling up at Harry, hating being singled out by the man on stage. “Yeah, you’re putting on a good show.”

“Why thank you kind sir. I like to think I know how to put on a good show anyway…” he winked at Louis then, and Louis felt his cheeks flush again. “So. Tell me a joke, Louis. I love to laugh, and I’m sure everyone here does as well, right?” Everyone cheered at that, and Louis felt the pressure. Jacob turned around and was grinning at his dad, waiting patiently as Harry was.

“Oh Dad! Tell him the one you told me at after school club yesterday!”

Louis sighed, and realised this was happening, like it or not. “Okay,” he shouted, turning back to Harry again. 

“Uh, before you begin Louis, I’d like to remind you to please keep it PG… this is a family show!” the audience cheered at that and Harry hammed it up, making the crowd go wilder as he shouted out “Or is it?!”

Louis couldn’t help himself from chuckling and nodding as Harry hooked out his in-ear again, leaning over and looking directly at Louis, and he could feel the pressure of that gaze upon him, watching as Harry’s eyes flitted up and down, taking in his outfit. Harry stepped over the row of lights then and handed a guard his microphone who gave it to Louis.

“Okay. What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?” Harry shrugged, smiling at Louis and Jacob was already laughing as he knew the answer. “A labracadabradoodle!” Louis said into the mic with a chuckle, and Harry bent over with laughter, hands on his thighs, eyes scrunched up. Louis handed the guard back the mic who gave it to Harry, who was wiping at his eyes by now.

“Oh my god Lou, I loved that!” Harry blushed slightly at his use of a nickname for a man he barely knew but Louis just grinned back, feeling his son asking to be picked up so he obliged, hauling the little boy up and onto his hip. “I love a man who can make me laugh. I’ll be back for more, so get your thinking cap on! This next song you should all know, so please sing along!”

Louis and Jacob watched with big smiles as Harry pranced around the stage for the next song, at one point skipping across the stage with a pride flag in his hands, screaming out in pure joy. Louis didn't know what Harry’s sexual orientation was, but he was pleased to see that the man looked so happy up there on stage, parading his flag for all and sundry to see, and he had a moment where he wished he was that brave, that he could be more open about his own preferences. Still, his love life wasn’t his focus at the moment, raising his son was, and he felt he was doing a good job and that was enough for him right now.

Things slowed down for a while as Harry stood at his microphone stand singing out  _ Sign of the Times _ , and Louis felt Jacob start to nestle against him, a good indicator he was getting very tired. Jacob rested his head on Louis’ shoulder as he watched Harry, singing softly into Louis’ neck, Louis swaying to the beat, trying to keep his son awake as he knew how upset he’d be in he fell asleep. 

As the song ended, Harry came back to them, and Louis wasn’t surprised at this point. He’d noticed Harry’s eyes flicking over to them as he had sung the last song, and he looked a little concerned as he stepped forwards, engaging them both in conversation. He mouthed ‘he okay?’ at Louis as he came closer, and Louis nodded, mouthing ‘just tired’ back, Harry nodding as he realised.

“Hey my little friend Jacob, how you doing?” Harry asked and Jacob perked up again as Harry spoke to him,

“I’m good, I’m just a bit tired cos it’s past my bedtime,” Jacob said honestly, which made Harry giggle on stage. “Daddy said he’ll hold me though so my legs don’t get too tired.”

“That sounds like a plan. Do you think your dad will come and hold me if I get too tired?” Harry joked, glancing to Louis again who rolled his eyes this time.

“No, silly, you’re too big! You’re taller than Daddy, you’d make him fall over.” Harry threw back his head with laughter again, and stepped over the lights.

“Right. Joke time again before we sing the last two songs. Actually, I want two jokes, Louis. Two. Don’t let me down…” Harry handed over the microphone, and this time, Louis guided it to Jacob’s mouth, knowing he had one he wanted to tell Harry. Harry was crouched down again, giving Jacob his full attention, and Louis really appreciated what Harry was doing for his son.

“What do you call a sheep who is covered in chocolate?” Harry raised his eyebrows at Jacob, waiting for the answer. “A candy baaaaa!” Jacob’s little sound effect made everyone in the arena laugh along with him, and this time, Harry actually did fall backwards and onto his bum on stage, in front of everyone. People cheered as the sight made the big screens, and he hurried to his knees, pointing at Louis and shouting “your turn Lou!”

Louis wracked his brains, and smirked as he finally came up with a cringeworthy but funny joke to amuse Harry with for the last time that night. “Alright Styles, you ready?” Harry nodded and stayed on his knees, gaze locked on Louis’ blue eyes. Louis felt a little flustered at how that gaze was making him feel but he pushed it down, focusing on delivering the joke as best he could. “What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?” Harry just stared at Louis, unblinking. “A maybe!”

Jacob started laughing against Louis’ chest, and Harry groaned, rolling his eyes, gesturing for the microphone to come back to him. “Louis, that was awful. Jacob, you must be king of the jokes in your house!” Jacob nodded eagerly and sent Harry a tired smile. “You look tired love, so let’s get this show on the road yeah?”

Harry moved away again, and introduced his band before breaking out into the last two songs. Jacob had woken up slightly as Harry sang his cover of  _ The Chain _ , one of Louis’ own favourite Fleetwood Mac songs and he sung along with gusto, locking eyes with Harry several times throughout the performance. Jacob didn't know this one so he stood and clapped along instead, smiling up at his dad.

As the opening notes of Kiwi rang out, Harry was dancing around on stage, completely in the zone. It was quite something to watch, and Louis was mesmerised by the man in front of him, as was his son, apparently.

“Are you coming with me?!” he screaming into the microphone, making the arena follow suit with their screams. “Jacob, Louis, are you coming with me?!” They both shouted out YES! as loudly as they could, and both sang at the top of their lungs throughout the song. During the guitar solo, Harry bent over and whispered something into one of the guards ears before bounding off again, striking pose after pose until he thanked everyone for coming, readying himself for the big ending. 

“Thank you Manchester, goodnight!” Harry shouted as he blasted water up in the air, but not before waving directly at Jacob, who waved enthusiastically back. Everyone cheered as the show finished and the stage was plummeted into darkness. Jacob looked a little sad when the arena lights went up, and Louis picked him up, making sure he hadn’t left anything on the floor before heading off.

“Excuse me sir!” came a voice, and Louis stopped, turning around with a frown on his face. He looked at the burly man who stepped closer. “Mr Styles has asked for you and your son to come backstage, please accompany me?”

“Oh my god Daddy, please can we go? Harry Styles wants to meet us, please? I promise I’ll go to bed as soon as we get home, please?!” Louis could never resist when Jacob begged him like this, but something made him feel nervous. Harry always interacted with fans on stage, that was part of the fun of his concerts, but the way he kept coming back to Jacob and Louis felt different somehow. Louis looked at the guard, who was pulling open the barrier in order for Louis and Jacob to slip through, and Louis nodded, making Jacob cheer.

The guard handed over two lanyards, passes to ensure they wouldn’t be stopped as they navigated the corridors, and Louis grabbed his son’s hand as he walked behind the guard, in front of the stage. 

“Now, you be polite and respectful, don’t touch Harry at all, and please, please behave yourself,” Louis begged as Jacob dragged him along, keen to go and meet his idol now. Jacob stopped and turned around, staring at Louis now.

“I promise. Now let’s go and meet Harry, Daddy!” Jacob skipped along happily in front of him, stopping as another face swiped a card, allowing them entrance into the backstage area. Louis tried to still his pounding heartbeat and Jacob stopped outside the door with ‘Dressing Room: Harry Styles’ written on it, and knocked politely. Just a few seconds later, the door swung open and there stood the man himself.


	3. Getting To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob finally gets his backstage access, and Harry treats his new friend!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back, enjoy this one! Thank you for all the amazing feedback so far, it seems you're enjoying this as much I am writing it!!

Harry Styles stood in the doorway grinning at Louis and Jacob. Jacob was clutching onto Louis’ hand now, feeling a bit nervous to be in such proximity to his favourite singer but Harry was quick to put them at ease. He’d taken off the mustard coloured blazer he’d been wearing all night and it was thrown onto the arms of one of the sofas in the room, and Harry gestured behind him inviting them in.

“You came! I’m so pleased, I was worried you’d escape before Bob had the chance to get to you.” Harry grinned and headed into the room, watching as Louis and Jacob hovered nervously, a bit unsure of what to do. “Take a seat, take a seat,” Harry said, sitting on the sofa opposite the boys in front of him. “So. Did you both enjoy the show? Jacob? Was it fun for you given that it was your birthday present?”

Jacob nodded shyly, and Louis nudged him gently, trying to get him to open up. Jacob wasn’t generally a shy child, he was the one Louis sent over to befriend the lonely children at the after school club, a fact Louis was very proud of. Jacob just had that way with people that drew you in, he had a big smile that seemed to fix any problem, and a caring nature that Louis knew came from himself. Louis leant over and whispered something quietly in Jacob’s ear, out of Harry’s earshot.

“Yeah I did, it was amazing,” Jacob said, wriggling himself onto Louis’ lap now. “I really liked hearing the songs live, they sound better than they do in daddy’s car or on the radio.” Harry grinned at that, and grabbed a few packets of Haribo from the table beside him. He looked at Louis, asking for permission before he handed one over to Jacob who tucked in eagerly, hungry now since it had been hours since he’d had his dinner.

“I’m so pleased. Very nice of you to bring your kid here, Louis, I must admit. But I have to ask how you got front pit tickets, I thought there was an age minimum on these things, and no offence Jacob, but I don’t think you’re quite old enough!” Jacob smiled at that, offering Harry a sweet which he took and chucked in the air, catching it in his mouth which made Jacob cheer.

“Well, usually you’re right, but my mate Liam is one of the security guards here, and he made sure we got good seats cos he knows how much Jacob loves your music, this is pretty surreal for him, I have to say.” Harry just smiled softly and stood up, grabbing a few water bottles from a table against the back wall.

“That’s lucky then. I don’t think I went to my first concert until I was about 13, so you’ve beaten me!” Harry swigged from the bottle, and Louis tried to ignore the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed, letting Jacob rest back against him now. “My first concert was Nickelback though, so perhaps not as kid friendly as this! Jake, which song was your favourite tonight?”

“Erm, I really enjoyed Kiwi, but my favourite is always Only Angel, isn’t it Daddy?” Louis nodded as Jake turned to look at him, the little boy mesmerised by the popstar sat just inches from him. “Do you have a favourite one Harry?”

“Good question!” Harry said, tapping his finger on his chin. “I really like singing Kiwi too, it’s fun and always gets the audience happy before they have to go. But I like my new song Medicine too, that’s quite fun, and of course, Only Angel is probably my favourite too.”

“Yay, we like the same ones Harry!” Jacob cheered, reaching across Harry’s legs to grab a water bottle, guzzling thirstily. “Daddy, I need a wee.”

“Oh, um…”

“Over there through that door,” Harry said, pointing at the door. Louis stood up and escorted Jake over, flicking on the light and pulling the door to as Jacob went about his business. “He’s a great kid Louis, a credit to you, he really is.”

“Thanks Harry,” Louis smiled back, opening the door when he heard the toilet flush and Jacob splashing around at the sink, washing his hands carefully. He walked back through the room holding Louis’ hand until he climbed up on the sofa, sitting as close to Harry as he could without actually ending up in his lap.

“So, did you get anything before the show?” Harry asked, and Jacob leant forward, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt and blazer, proudly showing his ‘Treat People with Kindness’ wristbands, making Harry return the smile.

“Daddy got me these! They’re really cool and he said I can wear them to school because I can keep them up the sleeves of my jumper.” Harry nodded and stood up, smoothing down his black tank top and grabbing his blazer.

“They look cool on you! I especially love the pink one, goes so well with your tie!” Harry held out his hand for Jacob to take, and Louis sent him a puzzled glance. “Now, it’s your birthday and I haven’t got you a present, which seems pretty rubbish. So… I’d like to correct that now, if it’s okay with your dad?”

Louis pondered for a moment, wondering what Harry was up to. He beckoned Harry over, and the man stepped across, leaving Jacob with his little bag of Haribo for a few seconds.

“I just wanted to give him a bit of merch Louis, if that’s okay? I know it’s ridiculously expensive, but it’d be my pleasure to let him choose a few bits? We have some stuff for kids as well that we don’t sell out there, so I’d like Jacob to have one of those bits too - but only if you’re okay with it-” he added hurriedly, taking in Louis’ uncertain expression. “I’m not trying to insinuate you can’t afford it or anything, I’d just like to do something nice for his birthday, please?”

It seemed Louis was a sucker for boys with pretty eyes pleading with him, because again, he couldn’t say no. He nodded and the resulting grin on Harry’s face made him light up, hurrying back over to Jacob and taking his hand, eagerly pulling him out of the room.

“Your dad is awesome…” Louis heard Harry say as he followed closely behind, loving how easily the pair were chatting now, Jacob’s nerves clearly gone. Louis smiled at many crew members running around backstage, and took in Harry’s long legs and wide strides as he weaved seamlessly through a maze of corridors, coming to a stop outside a black door. Harry pushed the handle down and the door swung open. He flicked a light switch and Louis was a little shocked by the piles and boxes of merchandise haphazardly flung everywhere.

“Okay, give me a minute, it’s a bloody tip in here…” Harry muttered, starting to rifle through some nearby boxes. Louis just stood with Jacob as he didn't know exactly what it was Harry was hunting for, and finally, a few minutes later, Harry came over, several things in his hands. “Right, let’s see what fits, I just got the smallest size we had, but I got the 7-8 in the hoodie…”

Jacob’s eyes widened as Harry laid out 2 different t-shirts, a sweatshirt, black hoodie and a few others bit on the floor. Louis helped his son out of his blazer, and watched as Harry carefully lifted up the special tour date t-shirt, the venue and date printed on. It was an extra small so was still far too big for Jacob really but Louis could see his son was in love with it already.

“Looking good!” Louis said, snapping a quick photo of Jacob, but Harry stopped him, pulling Jacob against his side as they both grinned at Louis’ camera. He took another photo, and Harry tried the second t shirt on him. They both agreed they were perfect, and Harry added it to the growing pile by Louis’ left foot.

“Now, we don’t sell this hoodie but it’s a kids one I had made for some of the bands kids and stuff, so I’d love for Jacob to have one. Is that alright, Lou?” Louis nodded and watched as Jacob pulled it on. It seemed Harry had judged his size well as it fitted the little boy perfectly, a bit of growing room in it but he looked so smart, and the wide smile on his face finished the look off properly.

“Daddy! Send grandma a photo please!” Jacob yelled, slinging an arm around Harry’s neck as they both beamed widely again. Harry stood up at that point, grabbing another black hoodie, mumbling under his breath as he grabbed a tote bag, shoving the t shirts and other bits in there. He added a black cap, a bright pink book and a poster to the collection, and Louis felt a little bit gobsmacked at his generosity. 

“Wow, that’s so kind Harry,” Louis said as he took the bag Harry was handing him. They were about to leave when Harry stopped and turned back to the boxes. He grabbed another white t shirt like the one he’d given Jacob and held it up, looking at it then back at Louis.

“Hmm, a medium will do nicely I reckon,” Harry said, closing up the box and leading the boys out of the room. They went back to Harry’s dressing room but before they sat down, Harry grabbed a passing face and handed over his phone from his back pocket, telling Louis to do the same.

“Nialler! Take a photo of me and my new friends please,” Harry said, getting in between Louis and Jacob, slinging his arms around both of them, one hand resting on Jacob’s shoulder, the other around Louis’ waist. Louis’ eyes slid in the direction of Harry as he felt the man’s fingertips dig in to the pudge above the waistband of his jeans, and he tried his best to ignore the fizzle of excitement that touch gave him. He turned his gaze back to Niall, and grinned at the camera.

They waited as Niall switched phones, taking a similar snap with Louis’ then and he handed them back, both men looking at the picture, Jacob clambering on Harry’s arm to pull his phone down so he could see.

“Jacob! Don’t pull on Harry, that’s very rude. Also, it’s his phone and it’s personal, you know I’ve told you that-”

“Louis, don’t worry, it’s fine, I can show him the picture,” Harry said, not wanting the little boy to get into trouble over something so trivial. Harry tried to ignore the little sigh coming from Louis as Harry crouched down again, bringing up the photo. “I think I’ll put it on Twitter, I mean, if you’re okay with that Louis?” Jacob’s face lit up at the thought of himself being on Harry Styles’ twitter, and again, Louis didn't feel he could say no.

“Yeah okay. No last names though, okay?” Harry nodded, fingers flying across the screen of his iPhone now. He sent the tweet and handed his phone to Louis, who looked down and smiled at Harry, pleased to see it was exactly what he’d asked for.

“Perfect, thanks Harry,” Louis said as Jacob drifted back towards him, yawning widely. “Oh, you tired little man? Wow, look at the time, no wonder, better think about getting you home and to bed, you’re gonna be no good at school tomorrow.”

Jacob pouted but nodded slightly, recognising in himself that he was tired. He turned to Harry and smiled up at him. “Thank you for everything Harry. You’re just as nice as I thought you were and you singed really well tonight. And thank you for my stuff. Dad, can I wear one of the t-shirts home please?” Louis nodded and stepped over, helping Jacob into his new tour t-shirt.

“Um, Louis…” Harry said, eyes flicking down to the bulging bag at Louis’ feet. “I gave you a t-shirt too. Be nice to see you in it too…” Louis just stared for a moment before realising he probably should let Harry see him in it given that he’d gifted it to him. Louis pulled out the other white t-shirt from the bag and passed it to Jacob to hold while he shrugged off his own denim shirt, pulling his plain white top over his head now. 

Harry swallowed heavily as Louis’ bare torso was revealed to him. He let his eyes roam around, taking in the tattoos littered around, cursive script across his collarbones, numbers on his pec, a myriad of drawings on both arms. His eyes drifted upwards and met Louis’ for a moment, and to Harry, it felt like time had stood still. His heart was pounding, he knew he was ridiculously attracted to this man in front of him, and he still didn't drag his eyes away as Louis pulled the new top over his head, smoothing it down over his toned stomach.

“Looks good,” Harry said in a low voice, gravelly with desire, but he hurried to push that away, knowing after tonight he’d never see Louis or Jacob again, a thought that made him sadder than he had expected to feel. He watched with disappointment as Louis picked up his clothes and shoved them into the tote bag Harry had given them, and took Jacob’s hand.

“Um, Louis, is it okay if I give Jacob a hug?” Harry asked shyly, not wanting to overstep. Louis was appreciative of the fact Harry was asking for permission and quickly granted it with a nod of his head. 

Jacob stepped into Harry’s waiting arms, wrapping his little ones around Harry’s slim waist. Harry muttered a few things to Jacob who nodded into the hug, and eventually they pulled away. Harry surprised Louis then by stepping closer himself and wrapping him in a quick hug, slapping his hand on his back to make it feel ever so slightly more manly. Louis blushed and fumbled with his bag as they parted, Jacob slipping his little hand into Harry’s again.

Together, the three headed up the corridor and before they knew it, they were at the entrance where they’d have to be separated for good. Harry ignored the stares of his band and crew as he stood, toes pointed inwards as he contemplated his next words. Jacob was busy trying to do up his zip, so Harry guided Louis a few steps away with a gentle hand on his upper hand, looking up nervously at the man in front of him. Harry guessed he had to be a few years older than himself, 4 or 5 at the most, and he wondered if he was reading the situation correctly. Yes, Louis had a son, but that didn't rule him out liking men, did it?

“Um, Louis, I’d really like to see you again, you and Jacob I mean,” Harry said, stumbling over his words with his nerves. He was a bit cross at himself if he was honest - he could stand up on that stage in front of over 15,000 people and talk confidently, but put him in front of a gorgeous man like Louis and he fell to pieces. “Here’s my number and my email address. It really is mine, not my manager’s or anything, if you ring it, it’ll call my personal phone. You can call me anytime, you or Jacob. I just think you’re really nice, and it’d be good to see-”

Louis cut him off then with a finger to his lips. “Yeah, I’d like that, and I know Jake would too. Lemme text you so you have mine.” He took his phone from his pocket, and sent Harry a generic ‘Hey, it’s Louis’ text, smiling as Harry’s phone chimed from his pocket, proving that the man was in fact being genuine. 

“Look, I have a show in London in a few days. I’d love for you to come with Jacob, maybe come backstage before it starts and meet the band?”

Louis pondered it over, mulling over whether or not it was feasible to get down to London. Before he could protest, Harry jumped in again.

“Look, I can get you both a hotel room, it’s a Friday night so you don’t have work or school the next day, and I can arrange a car to bring you both down too if it helps?” Harry looked so hopeful that Louis was struggling to find a reason to say no, sure Harry would have a comeback to any protest he made. “It’d be nice for Jacob, you can tell him it’s an extension of his birthday present or something…”

“Alright, alright,” Louis said, rolling his eyes at Harry’s enthusiastic grin, grunting as his chest was slammed against Harry’s in a hug. “I guess we can sort that out. But right now, I really need to get this little one home, he’s gonna be dead on his feet tomorrow. Text me, yeah?”

“Of course Lou, you’ve made me really happy, you know,” Harry said as Louis bent to pick Jacob up, the boy tiredly resting his head on Louis’ shoulder, struggling to keep his eyes open now. “Bye Jacob, it was really great to meet you, and happy birthday for yesterday again. See you soon, yeah?”

“Bye Harry, thank you for my presents-” Jacob said, cutting off a with a big yawn, and Harry smiled fondly, brushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. Louis headed off, pushing open the door that led to the car park, grimacing as he saw his was the last car left in the car park.

“Thanks again Harry, I’ll wait to hear from you, yeah?” Louis said as they headed to his car, Harry holding open the door as Louis lowered his now sleeping son into his car seat, buckling him in safely. Harry ran a gentle finger down his cheek and whispered goodbye, shutting the door as carefully as he could.

“Safe drive home then Louis, I’m really pleased you and Jacob came tonight,” Harry said honestly, putting himself out there. Louis smiled and hugged Harry again quickly before he climbed into the car, sending the passenger window down as he started the engine. 

“Bye Harry, thanks again for everything,” Louis said, holding up a hand to wave bye as he pulled off, leaving Harry a forlorn and lonely figure in the middle of the car park. Louis kept an eye of his rearview mirror, and noticed Harry didn't move until he had exited the car park.

It was an hour later that Louis finally arrived in his driveway, cutting the lights as he pulled in so he didn't blind his next door neighbours with his bright headlights. He got out of the car, yawning since it was almost midnight, and he walked around, lifting a sleeping Jacob out, holding him still with one arm as he unlocked the front door, closing it with his foot behind him.

He settled his son in bed, just pulling off his little shoes and trousers, leaving him wearing his new Harry t-shirt as he tucked him under the covers, kissing his forehead and whispering goodnight as he left the room. He got ready for bed himself and hooked his phone up to the charger, surprised to see a message from an unknown number. He smiled as he read the messages and tapped out a quick reply before turning it off and popping back on his bedside table and letting sleep finally come. 


	4. You've Got A Friend In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is Harry as always, Jacob embarrasses Louis, and Louis gets ready for Harry’s London show!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re still enjoying this! I’m having such fun writing it. All your comments make me smile so much so thank you for leaving them!

“Nanny!” Jacob cheered as he ran in through the front door towards Jay who was stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a tea towel slung over her shoulder. She braced herself as Jacob flew at her and scooped him up, hugging the boy tightly as he pressed a loving kiss to her cheek. He wriggled until she put him down on the floor then she embraced her son. Louis always loved being hugged by his mum, it was like coming home in so many ways. She led them both through to the kitchen, pouring Jacob a glass of strawberry milk and preparing herself and Louis a cup of tea.

After downing the drink, Jacob ran off, keen as ever to play with his aunts and uncles. Louis settled back in the kitchen chair at the table. Jay carried on preparing the dinner, chopping vegetables and throwing them into a wok, the smell of sizzling food filling the kitchen. Louis chatted easily with her about her day, and what he’d been up to at work until she arrived on a topic he was slightly less keen to talk about.

“So, how was the concert love? Did Jacob enjoy himself?” she asked, peering over her shoulder at Louis as he drained the last of his mug of tea, nodding at her. He walked it over to the sink and grabbed the pile of peelings his mum had left at the side of her board, putting them in the bin for her before he sat back down.

“Yeah, he had an amazing time. Actually, Harry came over and talked to him, saw that Jacob had a birthday badge on and made the arena sing him happy birthday,” he said with a grin, reliving the memory for a minute. “It was like one of those once in a lifetime moments you know you’re not gonna forget, and it’s awesome he’s had that at just six years old. I’m glad I saved up to get him those tickets.”

“You’re a wonderful father Lou, I don’t think I tell you often enough. The fact you went out of your way to take him there, and got Liam to help you out with a front row position shows how you’re always thinking of Jake. He’s a lucky boy.” Louis smiled and ducked his head, looking down at the pattern in the wood of the table in front of him, running his fingers over several large knots. “What are you hiding, Louis Tomlinson?” Jay said suddenly, and Louis’ head snapped up.

“What? I’m not- oh okay, I could never lie to you,” Louis said through a sigh as Jay came to sit down next to him at the table. His mum smirked at him, knowing she could read her son like a book, and waited for him to start talking. Just then, his phone rumbled across the table and he glanced at it, biting his lip as he realised it was Harry. He ignored it, but Jay’s eyes were too quick for him.

“Harry. Who do you know called- wait a minute. Louis. What’s going on?” she asked, putting two and two together and coming up with five in Louis’ mind. She grabbed for the phone but Louis was quicker, hurrying to shove it in the pocket of his jacket, out of the way of her prying eyes.

“Um, Harry Styles. That’s who’s texting me. We kind of met up backstage and swapped numbers?” It came out like a question despite the fact that Louis was telling his mum what had happened, and he knew it was his nerves coming into play. She continued to stare at him, and he realised she wanted more information.

“Okay, so after the show, this guard came over and said Harry wanted to meet us backstage. Of course Jake wanted to go, so we did. Harry was really nice, he gave Jake a load of merch for his birthday and then we chatted for a bit before I had to get Jake home to bed.”

“Wow. Okay. So he just asked you to come backstage for no reason, then?” she prodded, trying to sort things out in her head. It seemed strange that of the 15,000 people in that arena, Harry had picked on her son and grandson to befriend.

“Well, I guess he wanted to give Jake something? Jake showed him the bands I bought, because I couldn’t afford the t-shirts Mum, they were like £30, and the council tax is due next week. Anyway, Harry just gave him pretty much everything they sold, as well as a kids hoodie that are only made for his friends and family. He was just really nice, and Jake liked him a lot.” Louis smiled at the memory of his hour or so with Harry, and he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to seeing the man again in London on Friday.

“What else?” Jay said abruptly, knowing there was more to this that her son wasn’t telling her. There was a loud bang from upstairs then and the pair stilled, listening out for any cries but none came, so they figured all was okay.

“He asked us to come to the show in London, offered to send a car for us and said he’d get us a hotel so we don’t have to drive back through the night. He said he’d give Jake a backstage tour and stuff, you know how much he’ll love that Mum.” Jay smiled at him then, nodding, knowing full well it was the stuff of her grandson’s dreams.

“He will, Lou. Why do you look so hesitant then if you know how much Jake will enjoy himself?” She reached across the table and took Louis’ hand in hers. She couldn’t deny how proud she was of her eldest child. He had stepped up six years ago when Jacob’s mum decided she couldn’t cope with a baby, and had left a screaming two week old baby boy on Louis’ doorstep, insistent he take him in. Louis had, of course, done just that and had settled into his role as a father with ease, already well versed with babies thanks to his siblings. Even so, she couldn’t help but feel he’d lost some of his youth with it, and was worried he wasn’t prioritising himself, instead making sure everything he did was for Jacob.

“I dunno. Just feel a bit weird, like, why does he want to hang out with a kid and his dad from Donny? I mean, he seems nice enough but I don’t know him from Adam, really. I don’t want Jacob to start getting attached and then have Harry drop him when he gets bored or something.”

“Lou, I say this with love, but for the love of God, stop looking for the negatives in everything. Maybe he actually likes you, and Jake too. Why is that such an impossibility to you? That a nice man could be attracted to you, and you to him? Do something for you, Lou. Go to London, spend some time with him and have fun. Jake will enjoy every second, so make sure you do, too. And don’t let the fact Harry’s who he is distract you. Clearly he wants to spend time with you or he wouldn’t be going to such lengths to get you both there.”

Louis got up and bent over, hugging his mum and wrapping his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. “ Can always rely on you for good advice,” he said, cringing as yet another bang thudded through the floorboards, and this time, a cry followed. “I’ll go, can we stay for dinner?” he called as he headed for the stairs, Jay confirming they could as he ran up the stairs, ready to settle yet an argument in the Tomlinson household.

*****

The next morning, Louis hurried Jacob out the door, sure they were going to be late and get stuck in the inevitable school run traffic. He slammed it shut behind him, cringing as the panes of glass wobbled in their frames but threw his bag into the boot, followed by Jacob’s backpack and lunch box. It was the day of their later trip to London, but Louis still hadn’t divulged to Jacob that they would seeing Harry that night in case things fell through. It didn't look likely since Harry had called him late the previous evening, telling Louis he’d booked a car that would collect them at 4pm, and the hotel he’d booked was very near the venue in case Jacob was tired afterwards. The fact that he happened to mention he was staying in the same hotel did nothing to Louis at all. Nothing. Nada.

Louis flicked on the radio, and was surprised to hear some familiar dulcet tones flowing through his speakers.

“Daddy, it’s Harry!” Jacob said excitedly from the back seat. “Turn it up please!” Louis smiled at his manners and obliged, flicking the switch on the steering wheel until they could hear Harry and the DJ chatting clearly.

“...at the O2 arena tonight, are you excited to play there again Harry?”

“Yeah, I really am. The crowds in London are always wonderful, and my family will be attending the show too which always makes it more special for me.”

“That’s nice, and nice for them to see you up there on stage too, I imagine. Anything else that we should know about tonight’s show? Any surprises planned, young Harold?”

Louis smiled as he heard Harry’s deep chuckle rumble through his speakers, and flicked his gaze up to his rearview mirror, clocking Jacob’s smiley face as he waited at a traffic light.

“Um, well, it’s special to me, I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve got two new friends coming to the show tonight. I met them in Manchester, and I’m super excited to have them come and see me tonight too, I’m taking them backstage so that’ll be fun.”

“Ah, is this the young boy we heard about on Twitter?” the interviewer asked, and Louis watched as recognition dawned on Jacob’s face.

“Yeah, Louis and Jacob from the photo I posted after the Manchester show. We just got on really well, and I thought Jacob would enjoy a bit of a backstage tour, and his dad is pretty cool too, so it should be a good night.”

Louis pulled into his parking space, and pulled the handbrake, hurrying to turn around in his chair and look at his son. Jacob had an unreadable expression on his face, and Louis started to speak, hoping Jacob wasn’t upset at the fact he’d hidden tonight from him.

“Erm, sorry love, I didn't want to tell you in case it all fell through, but, well, we’re going to see Harry again tonight, in London. Is that okay?”

“Please may I text Harry?” Louis nodded and opened up the message app, pulling up his conversation thread with Harry before handing it back to Jacob. Harry’s song finished playing and the interview began again, Jacob slowly typing out whatever it was he had to say, and soon enough, the whoosh of Louis’ phone told him Jacob’s message was winging its way to Harry.

Louis was shocked to hear the ping of Harry’s text tone come through the radio, and he wondered whether or not his new friend would make a comment about it on air. Much to his surprise, he did.

“What’s that coy smile for Harry?” the interviewer asked, making Harry chuckle into the microphone.

“Just got a text from my new best friend Jacob. He said he’s excited to come tonight even if his meanie daddy didn't tell him anything about it.” Louis sent Jacob a scandalised look before bursting into laughter, prompting a giggling fit from his son too.

“You cheeky monkey, now the whole country knows I’m a meanie daddy!” Louis joked, reaching over the seat to tickle Jacob. “You’re lucky you’ve got to get to class and so have I, or we’d be having a tickle war right now.” Louis’ phoned pinged, and he grinned, opening the app to see a reply to Jacob’s earlier message to Harry.

Louis’ day at work flew by, as usual. He worked in a Year 2 classroom as a teaching assistant, and supported a couple of young boys who needed help with their work, and he always found it a really rewarding job. He then stayed on and worked at the After School club too, which was nice as it meant he got to interact with some of the older children, and Jacob got to have fun too, not always easy as an only child. Louis appreciated that the club allowed him to pay reduced fees for Jacob too, as otherwise, things would financially be more of a struggle than they already were.

He was on his break at lunchtime when his phone went again. This time, it was Harry double checking his address so he could be collected along with Jacob later on. Louis gave it willingly, not thinking anything of it, and when he heard a cry, he shoved his phone in his pocket, running back to the job as always. Jacob was happily telling anyone in the playground who would listen about his new best friend Harry Styles, and when he saw some of the older girls scoffing, he brought up the picture of the three of them from a few nights ago and handed it to Jacob. The triumphant smile on his son’s face was more than enough to make Louis happy for days.

They were late getting home thanks to an accident on their usual route, despite the fact Louis had taken an unpaid day’s leave from the After School Club so he and Jacob could be on the road by 4, so Louis had shoved Jacob under the shower instead of his usual bath, and was frantically trying to pack the pair of them a bag when the doorbell rang. He sighed, calling to Jacob to get the door since he was only in the sitting room, and had a pretty good view of the doorway, trying to make sure everything would fit in their weekend bag.

He dropped everything as he heard a scream and the slam of a door, and ran over, worried about what had gone wrong.

“Love, are you okay? What happened?” Louis asked, frantically checking his son over for any sign of harm. Jacob didn't speak but lifted a shaking hand, pointing at the door.”What-” Louis said as he went to open the door, and stood there a bit agog himself when it swung open.

There, on his doorstep, was Harry. Harry Styles. Shit. He was in a black hoody with ‘Harry: World Tour 2018’ sewn in white on the chest, his hair was held back at the crown by a hairclip, and quite honestly, Louis thought he looked gorgeous. In fact, he probably looked better dressed down and cosy looking than he did in his fancy designer stage outfits. Louis quickly collected his thoughts and picked up Jacob, smiling at the man in front of him.

“I’m so sorry, I think he’s a bit shocked,” Louis muttered, Harry throwing him an amused smile in return. “Come in, sorry if it’s a bit of a mess, we’re trying to get ready and we were late getting home-”

Harry stepped in and laid a gentle hand on Louis’ forearm, their eyes meeting as they felt a spark of something as they touched. “It’s fine Lou, don’t worry. Is there anything I can do?” Harry asked, eyes glancing around at Louis’ home. “I should’ve told you to expect me, but, well, I wanted to surprise you.” He looked a little sheepish then, and Louis felt fondly towards the man at the blush spreading over his cheeks.

Louis found it funny how the real Harry was such an antithesis to the persona everyone saw on stage. He was a shining beacon of light when he was Harry Styles: popstar. He drew the crowds in, he worked them easily, thousands and thousands of people lapping up his attention, singing along, encouraging him to skip around with flags and sing and dance wildly, not a care in the world. But this Harry was different. He was more cautious, Louis knew he was holding something back, and there was something endearing about how, well, nervous he seemed around the pair. Louis couldn’t figure out what was intimidating about him and Jacob, but he was pleased he was getting to see this somewhat unseen side of the famous man.

“Um, if you could just try and get that bag zipped up while I get Jake ready, that’d be great. We won’t be a minute, I’m really sorry-”

“Lou, please. It really is okay. I can’t imagine how busy you are all the time, I only have me to worry about, and I’m often late. You’ve got a whole other human to look after so please, don’t stress. I’ll just sort the bag and get it in the car. Oh, and can I borrow your car seat for Jacob, I know he has to have one and it’s the only thing I didn't bring.”

Louis nodded and pointed at the car keys on the little hook by the front door. “Thanks for remembering, most people without kids don’t even realise that. You can grab it out of my car and stick it in yours. Either side is fine, thanks Harry-” Louis said, running off up the stairs, aware time wasn’t on their side now. It was a long 3 hour drive back to London, and that didn't give them a lot of leeway if there was traffic.

Twenty minutes later, they were all safely buckled in to Harry’s rather luxurious Audi Q7, and on the road. Jacob had his little headphones on and was unsurprisingly listening to Harry’s album on his iPod, and Louis was sat finally feeling relaxed in the passenger seat. He tried to ignore the flip in his stomach as he watched Harry drive, far too turned on by how he looked behind the wheel, thick thighs working the pedals of the car with ease. Despite the fact this was only the second time they had met, conversation flowed easily between the pair, much like it had in their texts, and it really didn't take Louis long to forget who he was sat next to.

A stark reminder came when they started to near the venue, and a couple of women in the car next to them starting waving wildly, obviously having clocked Harry in the front of the car. Louis could see iPhone cameras being pointed at them, and Harry looked worriedly at Louis, concerned about how his new friend would take this.

“Harry, it’s okay. Jake’s in the back so they can’t see him, and honestly, if you don’t care or aren’t ashamed about being spotted with me, then I’m not too worried either.” Harry smiled gratefully at him, and drove off again, gaze now on the road and ignoring the still waving women.

“I’d never be ashamed to be seen with you, Lou,” Harry said softly, so softly in fact that Louis almost missed it. He felt his heart skip a beat at Harry’s words, wondering how many ways there were to interpret what he had just heard. Harry drove the car behind the arena, stopping at a security check point and signing them in. Jake was asleep by now, lulled as most children were by the motion and hum of the car, and as they parked, Louis hopped up and headed for the boot. He grabbed his smaller bag containing a few snacks for Jacob and tucked a jacket under his arm.

He walked around the car ready to fetch Jacob, but he was stunned to see Harry already stood there holding his sleeping son. It was a sight Louis hadn’t often seen before, his son happily settled with someone else, a man no less, and Louis couldn’t deny that he loved it. Harry looked surprisingly at home with the small boy as well, one hand supporting under his bum and the other around his back, a shy smile on his face as he locked eyes with Louis.

“Um, I hope it’s okay, you looked like you had your hands full so I thought I’d help..” Harry trailed off, nervously scuffing the toe of his Vans on the car park surface.

“Hey, it’s fine, thank you,” Louis said, double checking he had everything before they headed off. “He always falls asleep on car journeys and he’s a buggar to wake up. I can sort him out when we get inside. And, erm, thank you. I appreciate your help. I don’t mind at all, you know. You being hands on with Jake, I mean.” They grinned almost secretly at each other then, and Harry locked the car, shoving the keys deep into the pocket of his joggers. They walked side by side towards the arena, and Louis was shocked at the hustle and bustle of people, even though they hadn’t yet made it inside.

“Ready?” Harry asked, looking back at Louis who was looking a little stunned by everything now. Harry realised then how normal this had become for him, and he was almost viewing it with new eyes, seeing how Louis was taking it all in, watching as people ran around, making sure things were in place, and everything was running smoothly.

“As I’ll ever be,” replied Louis, smiling as he followed Harry inside, the sight of his son’s little legs resting around Harry’s hips one Louis knew he wouldn’t forget in a hurry.


	5. I Should Have Kissed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Jacob attend Harry's London show with him, experiencing everything to do with a concert. Afterwards, Harry takes them back to their hotel....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update, yay!
> 
> Thanks as always to Laura for beta-ing for me.
> 
> All your comments so far have been AMAZING! So happy everyone is enjoying this as much as I am writing it :)

“Jacob, wakey wakey, sweetheart,” Louis said, trying to rouse his son from his sleep, no mean feat at the best of times. He shook Jacob’s arm until he saw the boy begin to stir, and stroked his head softly, just how he knew his boy liked. Jacob’s eyes fluttered open and he half sat up, looking around him in confusion when he realised he didn't know where he was.

“Where are we, Daddy?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Louis pulled him up into his lap, and let the little boy relax against him for a moment, pleased they were alone so Jacob could get his bearings a little bit.

“We’re at Harry’s concert, remember? We’re in London, and we’re in Harry’s dressing room at the moment. You fell asleep so Harry let you stay in here with me until you woke up.” Jacob looked down at his hoodie Harry had given him the other night and smiled. He grinned at the t-shirt Louis had on then, one of the ones Harry had given them both back in Manchester.

“Can we go and find him please?” Louis looked a little reluctant at this, aware Harry was running through a last minute soundcheck, but he was sure the man wouldn’t mind too much if they went to find him. 

“Yeah, alright. But I have a few rules since we’re in a new place with lots of people, okay? You need to hold my hand at all times, do not run off, and you need to be on your best behaviour or Harry might not ask us to come with him again, alright? Do you understand?” Jacob nodded and hopped up off the sofa, heading for the door now. Louis followed, smoothing out his t-shirt over his stomach as they walked into the hallway, VIP lanyards dangling from their necks.

As they walked around, they caught the attention of quite a few guards, but when they saw the passes hanging from their necks, they were allowed on their way. Everything was fine until they bumped into an older gentleman who stopped them, resting a hand on Jacob’s shoulder as he consulted a clipboard. He asked their names, which Louis gave, but soon, the man's expression changed.

“I’m afraid your names aren’t on this list, so I’m going to have to confiscate your passes and escort you from the venue,” the man said, unblinking and serious now. Louis started to panic a bit, and looked around, sighing when he couldn’t see anyone that could help him.

“Look, if you just go and talk to Harry, I’m sure-”

“Excuse me, that's Mr Styles to you, sir. Please hand over your badges, and you can be on your way.” He went to take Jacob’s off from his neck, and the little boy was teary-eyed now, not knowing what was going on. He let out a whimper, and Louis suddenly heard footsteps dashing towards them.

“Lou, what’s going on?” Harry panted out, a little out of breath from his jog down the corridor to them. He spotted Jacob was upset, and quickly crouched down, smiling at Jacob as he wiped away a little tear from his cheek. “Hey Jake, looking good tonight, we match!” He looked up at Louis again then, waiting for an explanation.

“This man said we weren’t on his list, and he wants to take our passes and escort us out.” Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry, knowing this was probably going to cause an argument, but in that moment, he really didn't care.

“Well, I don’t think so. Louis and Jacob are here as my personal guests, and have the run of this entire building, as I do. Add them to whatever list you like, but don’t ever treat my friends like this, or lay your hands on this little boy again, okay?” Harry said in a stern, deep voice that Louis hadn’t heard before. He blinked, trying to ignore the way his tummy flipped at the sound, his body betraying his attraction to Harry yet again. He felt Harry wrap an arm around his waist, and saw him take Jacob’s hand as he walked them away.

“I’m so sorry about that, I didn't even think about the stupid guest list, this is all my fault-” Harry said, looking forlornly at the floor. “Please don’t let this ruin the night. I have to go and get changed in a sec, but let me introduce you to my band first. Would you like that, Jacob?”

Jacob grinned and nodded, and pulled Harry down, whispering something into his ear. Harry frowned slightly and stood up straight again. “Only if it’s okay with your dad, love.”

Jacob shuffled back to Louis then, and pulled him down too, whispering into his ear. “Can I ask Harry for a piggyback cos my feet hurt?” Louis looked at Harry who shrugged, clearly waiting for permission so Louis nodded, laughing as Jacob hopped up onto his new friend’s back. Louis stopped them and took a quick photo, loving how comfortable Jacob looked, his arms flung around Harry’s neck as he held on, Harry’s big hands gripping Jacob’s little legs.

“Giddy up!” Jacob laughed, tugging on Harry’s hair with one hand as the pair galloped off down the corridor, leaving Louis in their wake, smiling to himself. He pulled out his phone and sent the photo to his mum, along with a short message telling her he was glad that he’d come to London, that he and Jacob were having an amazing time already.

The next hour flew by as Louis and Jacob were introduced to Harry’s band, and Louis wasn’t at all surprised by the nice people Harry chose to surround himself with. He stood making conversation with Clare, Harry’s keys player, about the tour so far while Harry’s guitarist Adam sat patiently with Jacob, explaining all about his instruments, even letting the little boy pluck at the strings which delighted him.

Louis turned his head as the dressing room door creaked open again, and he tried to school his face into a neutral expression as he took in the sight of Harry in a fairly skintight black suit, complete with what looked like a black tank top underneath. It hid nothing of his figure, emphasising every curve and muscle, and Louis could honestly die. He’d thought Harry was attractive, of course, he had eyes, but this was the first real hint of sexual attraction he’d felt towards the man, and he didn't quite know what to do with it.

Harry looked up from where he was stood fiddling with his mic pack at the back of his waistband and met Louis’ eyes, smiling knowingly at him, well aware he was being checked out. Louis quickly turned away again, refocusing his attention on Clare, but bit his lip when he felt the sofa dip next to him, a thigh pressing against his own. From the black of the material, he knew it was Harry, and then a nudge to his side came.

“Ready for the show? T-shirt looks good, by the way,” Harry said, dangling his in-ears over his shoulders now, all hooked up and ready to go. Harry aimed his phone camera at Louis who grinned, putting up his thumb, wondering what Harry was planning to do with that particular photograph. Louis pointed over at Jacob, who was still chatting away, now joined by the other guitarist too. “He looks happy enough,” Harry said, a small smile on his face as he watched the little boy move between people with ease. “I know I’ve said it before Lou, but he really is amazing. He’s a credit to you. Honestly.”

“Thank you Harry, that means a lot. I love him to bits, obviously, but it’s always nice to hear other people say the things I think myself. He’s loved every minute of this though, so thank you for everything. I think he’s really excited about the hotel tonight as well, he’s never stayed in one before so it’s like one big treat night.”

“Well, I like to spoil the people I care about,” Harry said, quickly getting to his feet and hurrying away, leaving Louis a little dazed on the sofa. Again, Louis’ mind was flooded with different interpretations of what Harry had said, but before he had time to make any sort of sense of them, he and Jacob were being called away to head into the arena to watch Harry’s show. Harry had asked if they wanted to watch from backstage, but Jacob had been keen to watch from the floor again, and Harry had ensured they'd be in a safe area to stand in, which pleased Louis. 

What Louis hadn’t expected, however, was being escorted to a space in the middle of the arena near the B-stage, where the mixing desks were, and then suddenly being introduced to members of Harry’s family.

“You must be Louis and Jacob! Hi, I’m Harry’s mum, Anne!” the woman with a beaming smile spoke, smiling down at Jacob before flashing Louis a grin so similar to Harry’s, it startled him for a moment. Jacob smiled at her and then she moved closer to Louis, standing next to him now. “Harry's has talked about you a lot, seems to have taken quite a shining to you and your son.”

“Um, yeah, he’s been great with Jacob, gave him loads of stuff for his birthday and brought us down here today…” Louis said, feeling a little embarrassed and not sure what to say in reply to Anne’s confession. He didn't quite know how he felt about the fact Harry had talked to his mum about him and his son, but there was a small part of him that liked that fact. Harry’s sister Gemma appeared shortly, and introduced herself, chatting easily to Jacob as if the pair had been friends forever. Louis just stood, taking in his surroundings, wondering how on earth he’d ended up here, things still feeling a little surreal if he was being honest.

Music was pumping through the arena. Louis could see a number of signs, Pride flags and banners dotted around the venue, and Louis knew how much Harry would appreciate all of them. He glanced over at his son, listening intently to something Gemma was saying, his ear defenders hooked around his neck, waiting to be used when Harry took to the stage.

“Everything okay?” came a voice next to him, and Louis felt a gentle hand resting on his bicep. He looked across to see Anne looking quizzically at him, and he nodded, smiling slightly, eyes still flitting around the room. “It’s a bit strange, isn’t it? All of this, I mean. I still find it odd all these people have come to watch my baby up there, singing and dancing his little heart out. This has always been his dream, and I couldn’t be more proud.” Louis nodded as she spoke, but she didn't move away.

“Give him a chance, Louis. This fame thing, it has its perks but there’s also the negatives. Harry said to me you’re the first person he’s connected with in a long time that seems to just want to be his friend for who he is, and not for what he can do for them. He might look all confident up there on stage, but he isn’t really. Just… be careful with him, yeah?” Louis blinked, and suddenly the lights dimmed, plunging the arena into darkness, screams filling the room. Louis headed over to Jacob and pulled his ear defenders on, laughing as his son started jumping around in excitement as _Only Angel_ began to play.

*****

Louis’ feet were aching now but he knew Jacob wouldn’t forgive him if he tried to put him down. He’d had Jacob sat on his shoulders for 4 songs now, and part of Louis was pleased that the show was coming to an end, as he really needed a rest. He thanked God for a second that tomorrow was a Saturday and that he’d be able to have a lie in, if Jacob was sleepy too, which Louis was sure he would be.

“London, you have been amazing tonight!” Harry shouted, a cacophony of cheers and screams being sent back to him. Louis watched as he headed over to his water bottle, taking a few gulps before he started speaking again. “I have some special people here tonight, which makes it even more exciting for me. My wonderful mother is here with my lovely sister, they’ve been my biggest supporters since the beginning, love you both lots.” Everyone cheered and clapped, the few fans in the pits who knew where they were sat waved, Anne and Gemma waving back eagerly.

Louis felt Jacob’s little hands clutching at his hair then and winced slightly as he shifted, gripping harder on Louis’ hair to steady himself.

“I also want to say a big hi to my new best friend Jacob who has come to London to see the show again with his rather lovely dad Louis, I’m really happy they’re both here tonight.” Louis could hear a murmur fly around then, people obviously connecting the names with the Twitter picture Harry had posted the other night, while Jacob just sat atop Louis’ shoulders waving madly at Harry, screaming at him. “I see ya Jake, hope you’ve enjoyed the show, be careful with your dad, I’d like him in one piece later on!”

Louis flushed bright red at that comment, knowing 20,000 people had heard it, and even Anne and Gemma glanced at him from where they were stood slightly over to the other side of the area. He hooked his hands under Jacob’s underarms and pulled his son down, kissing the top of his head as he headed for the metal barrier, standing on it, Gemma heading to support him behind. Louis kept his gaze on the floor then, aware of the eyes of the fans around them on him, and he stood with folded arms as Harry finished out the show, belting out his hits until once more, it was all over.

 

*****

Louis was wandering the corridors after the show, stopping to chat to a few of the backstage hands, all of them exceptionally nice people who talked to Louis with ease about their jobs, and what a great guy Harry was to work for. It didn't escape Louis’ attention that everyone who worked with Harry had nothing but nice things to say about him, and it set his mind thinking. Harry had made a few comments backstage and then again on stage which perhaps hinted at him wanting more than just friendship from Louis, and he honestly wondered what Harry could see in him. Why, out of everyone, had he singled out Louis to be interested in? Where could this go, honestly? Harry was a international pop star, he travelled the world for his job, and Louis was a TA in the local primary school, and a single dad to boot.

Jacob swivelled around then as he heard Harry approach, and before Louis could stop him, he was running full pelt at Harry, jumping into the man’s waiting arms. Harry grinned and scooped him up easily, the pair clinging to each other. Louis strolled over, following his son and Harry down the corridor, both of them heading into Harry’s dressing room. Jacob ran over and grabbed an apple from the side, and Louis raised an eyebrow at him, stopping Jacob in his tracks.

“Sorry, Daddy. Um, Harry, please may I have an apple, I’m hungry!” Jacob asked, and sent Harry a big, cheesy grin which of course Harry couldn’t resist.

“Course you can love, help yourself,” Harry replied, pulling off his blazer and flopping down onto the sofa in just his trousers and tank top. He kicked off his black boots and patted the sofa next to him. Jacob hurried over and clambered up, leaning against Harry’s side. Louis swallowed, thinking things looked rather cosy, and he looked a little curious as Harry handed Louis his phone. “Um, do you mind if I have a picture of me and Jacob?” Louis shrugged and took the phone, opening the camera app and snapping a photo before handing it back to Harry.

“Hey, that’s you and me!” Jacob said, spraying juice everywhere, making Louis cringe. “Oops, sorry Harry.” Jacob leant up and wiped his sticky palm right across Harry’s cheek to get rid of the juice and Louis couldn’t resist the burst of laughter that erupted then at the sight. He took the finished core from Jacob and looked for a bin, and when he saw the toilet, he headed in, realising he needed to go.

When he came back out, he was shocked to see his son with his eyes shut, head resting on Harry’s chest. The room was quiet, and Anne and Gemma were now sat on the other sofa, both fiddling around on their phones, and Louis felt a little awkward all of a sudden.

“He said he was tired, and he just slumped over,” Harry whispered, pointing to a now snoozing Jacob. “Sorry Lou, you probably wanted to get him back to the hotel before you let him sleep.”

“No, no, it’s okay. He said earlier on he was tired so I’m not surprised. Sorry if he’s made you uncomfortable though, you probably can’t move with him on you.” Louis headed over, ready to move his son but Harry grabbed his wrist gently, encircling it with his ring clad fingers.

“Louis, please, he’s fine. I wouldn’t have let him lean against me if I wasn’t fine with it. Leave him for a bit, we’ll get the car back to the hotel soon but let him rest, yeah? Take advantage of the fact you have three other adults here to help you out!” Harry sent him such a big, genuine smile Louis couldn’t help but agree, sitting down on the other end of the sofa, and he just watched as Harry turned his body slightly, facing him again. “So, did you enjoy the show? Jacob said he did before he fell asleep.”

“Yeah, you were great,” Louis said, mentally reliving it. He couldn’t quite believe he’d now been to two of Harry’s shows in just a few days. “It must be such a rush, being up there and having everyone sing your songs back to you.”

The resulting grin on Harry’s face told Louis he’d hit the nail on the head. “Yeah, it’s pretty amazing. I love touring, it’s the best part of it. I love being so close to the fans, and hearing them and seeing them look so happy. It’s great when you get to meet nice people too,” he said shyly, flicking his eyes up to Louis, and then down to Jacob, ignoring Anne and Gemma exchanging looks across the room.

Conversation carried on for a little while longer until Louis noticed the time on his phone when he received a text from his mum, asking if they’d had fun. He tapped out a reply and reluctantly got to his feet, rubbing his arms now, feeling a bit chilly as he’d left his own jacket in the car earlier on, worrying too much about Jacob’s stuff and not focusing on himself as usual.

“I’ve got a hoodie over there you can put on if you’re cold,” Harry said, using his free hand to point over at the table. Louis walked over and spotted the black top slung over a chair and picked it up, sliding it over his head, inhaling the very unique scent of Harry as he pulled it on. It drowned him slightly, since he was much shorter than Harry was but he rolled the cuffs back, trying not to acknowledge Harry watching his every movement. He went back to Harry then and bent down, picking up his sleeping son, cradling him against his chest, Jacob not even stirring.

“You okay if I give you a lift back to the hotel?” Harry asked, putting his blazer back on and shoving a few things into his bag. “I mean, Jake’s car seat is still in my car and we’re staying in the same place, so it makes sense…” he looked over nervously, as if he somehow expected Louis to say no. Louis just nodded, knowing it made sense, and if it meant he got to spend a little more time with Harry, then he was all for it. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something about the man that made him want to know more.

Anne and Gemma hugged Harry, telling him they’d see him tomorrow, and smiled and waved at Louis from their position on the sofa. Louis bent down to grab his and Jacob’s bags but Harry beat him to it, slinging both over the shoulder not already supporting his own bag.

“I’ve got it, you’ve got precious cargo to take care of,” Harry said softly, calling bye to his band and others as they left the building. Harry politely held doors open, watching as Louis carefully manoeuvred himself through the doorways, taking care not to knock Jacob’s head with a practised ease. The cold air hit them as they stepped out of the warmth of the arena and they hurried over to the car, ignoring the screams of the few fans still lingering around, hoping for a glimpse of their favourite singer.

Harry held open the back door as Louis put Jacob into his seat, fastening his straps over his chest as Harry handed him another hoodie to drape over his little body to keep him warm. Louis smiled gratefully at him, climbing into the passenger seat beside Harry as they readied themselves to get to the hotel.

“It’s not a long drive, I picked something close by so Jacob didn't have to stay in the car too long,” Harry said, starting the engine and driving away. He fiddled with the radio, letting the soft tones of the local station play in the car as they headed off. Louis was a bit happier that since it was dark, the chance of them being spotted was much smaller than earlier.

Harry wasn’t lying - the drive only took around 10 minutes, and before he knew it, Harry was shaking his arm, waking him from where he’d dozed off. He sat up suddenly, wiping over his face, panicking that he’d embarrassed himself by dribbling or something, but Harry had such a soft expression on his face, he was sure that his new friend wouldn’t mind if he had.

“You grab the bags Lou, I’ll get Jacob, you’re tired, okay?” Louis didn't have the energy to argue so he slipped out of the seat, feet hitting the concrete as he watched Harry round the car, opening the back door and very carefully unbuckling Jacob, pulling his small body out and against his own.

They walked quietly next to each other into the building, Harry checking them both in and slipping a keycard into his pocket, keeping Louis and Jacob’s in his hand as they headed for the bank of lifts. Harry hit the button for the top floor and shuffled Jacob slightly, the boy sniffling and burying his face in Harry’s neck, Harry just stroking his hand gently up and down his back. Louis let Harry step out first and followed him down the corridor. They stopped outside a door and Harry spoke first.

“Erm, this is your room. Mine is next door, sorry, I didn't realise they’d do that,” he mumbled, fiddling with the card and flicking on the light as he went in. He headed for the bed and laid Jacob down, the boy still not stirring. “Do you need a hand getting him ready or…”

“Nah, I’ll let him sleep in that I think. He’s too tired for anything else, one night won’t kill him.” Louis slipped Jacob’s little trainers off and threw them over to the side of the room, pulling the quilt out from under his body and laying it on top of him. He clicked on the bedside light and walked out, following Harry into the living area. It was then that Louis realised he was actually in some sort of suite rather than just a normal hotel room, and he bit his lip as he took in the view of London out of the huge windows.

“Wow, this room is amazing Harry, you didn't have to do this,” Louis started to say but Harry stepped over, shaking his head.

“I know. But I wanted to,” he said with a shrug. “Listen, I was wondering if, um, we could have a little chat before you go to bed? I’ll just go and dump my bags in my room and get changed into something more comfortable. Not for long, I know you’re tired but it’s sort of important to me.”

Louis was wondering what on earth was so important that Harry needed to talk to him at nearly midnight but he nodded, seeing Harry head for the door now. “Sure, give me 15, 20 minutes? I want a quick shower if you don’t mind.” Harry nodded and raised his hand in a goodbye gesture as he slipped out, making sure the door closed quietly behind him. It was small, thoughtful gestures like this that made Louis realise what a kind person Harry was. Most people without kids would have let the door slam behind them, but not Harry.

Louis pulled off his clothes and headed for the bathroom, starting up the huge shower and stepping under the warm spray, enjoying it for a few minutes before he washed himself, realising Harry was coming back soon enough. A few minutes later, he climbed out and dried himself with the softest, fluffiest towel he’d ever used and grabbed some jogging bottoms from his bag, yanking them over his hips as a knock sounded at the door.

He crept over, peering in at his son, pleased to see he was still sleeping, then he headed for the door. A knock came again, quiet but persistent and Louis took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly as his hand snuck forwards, pulling open the door, revealing Harry on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More on Tuesday, hope you liked that! 
> 
> [ Rebloggable tumblr fic post here ](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/post/173415435231/you-were-made-to-be-mine-by-lovelarry10) if you wish to share!


	6. Last First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry finally talk, Jacob gets a surprise, and Louis takes a leap of faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this! Again thanks as always for all your amazing comments, I love reading them so much! X

Louis frowned when he saw Harry stood there, mouth agape, just staring at him. It was then he realised he was stood holding the door to his room open in just his joggers, his torso bare and probably still a little wet from the shower. He cleared his throat and Harry blinked suddenly, shaking his head as a red flush spread up his cheeks, betraying his embarrassment at having been caught ogling Louis.

“Sorry. Not often I get a shower like that so I took longer than I thought. Come in, I’ll just go and grab a top.” Louis shuffled off quietly and grabbed the hoodie Harry had lent him earlier, unthinking as he pulled it over his head, ruffling his fingers through his hair to try and tame it somewhat. He kissed his son’s cheek and pulled the bedroom door closed behind him as he headed for the living area, happy to see Harry sat on the sofa, his long lean legs curled up under him now.

Louis stood for a moment as Harry played on his phone, just observing the man in front of him. He’d googled Harry earlier on while he was bored backstage, and found that Harry was 23, just four years younger than him. However, curled up on the sofa in Louis’ room, he looked another 3 or 4 years younger than that, swamped by a lavender jumper, black leggings clinging to his lower half, and cosy pink fluffy socks on his feet. He was a sight to behold, really, and Louis felt quite privileged to see Harry Styles just as Harry. Right then, he wasn’t a popstar, he was just a friend looking for some company.

Grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the table, Louis headed off and handed one to Harry, who took it with a smile.

“Thanks, Lou,” he mumbled, twisting the cap off and taking a few gulps, nodding over at him as he swallowed. “My hoodie suits you,” Harry said with a cheeky smile.

“Sorry, I didn't think, let me go change so you can have it-” Louis stopped as he went to stand, Harry pressing a hand onto his thigh, making Louis’ breath hitch, and he hurried to cover it up with a slightly cough.

“Keep it. You look lovely, very cosy,” Harry said softly, not taking his eyes off Louis. “Um, so can we, like, talk?” Louis nodded and settled back against the armrest, pulling a cushion over onto his tummy, cuddling it to him, something he often did at home. His feet were on the sofa and his eyes widened as Harry picked them up, placing them in his lap without really thinking about the action. Louis allowed it, and focused his attention on the young man in front of him, his big hands on Louis' ankles now.

“So. Shit, I don’t know where to start, this felt like a good idea when I suggested it…” Harry mumbled, feeling a little silly and out of his depth now. “Right. Get it together. Okay. I just want to make sure I’m not, like, barking up the wrong tree here, Lou. I mean, I hope you get that, well, I like guys. I - I know I’m not out as such, publicly I mean, but I’ve never denied it. And I mean, I would be out if the right man came along. Happily so.”

Louis nodded, biting his lip. His close friends and family knew that he liked men, that Jacob had been created in a relationship Louis had gotten into in an attempt to push away his sexuality, scared of what it meant for him. He didn't regret Jacob, not one bit, but he regretted that he’d felt he had to hide. He couldn’t imagine the pressure Harry was under to not be fully true to who he was, and the courage it must have taken him to admit it to Louis, trusting that his new friend would keep his secret.

Louis took in a breath, before he released it slowly, feeling hot under Harry’s intense gaze. “You’re not. Wrong, that is. I like men, too. I know I’ve got Jacob, but that’s, well, it’s in the past. I lied to myself for too long about who I was, it’s quite refreshing to admit it now, actually. I’m not ashamed of who I am, not anymore.” Harry nodded and squeezed at Louis’ ankle. “Thank you for being honest with me though, Harry. It means a lot that you’ve trusted me.”

“I haven’t been completely honest though, have I?” Harry said in a low voice, shuffling around on the sofa, keeping Louis’ feet in his lap, their torso’s facing each other now. “I think I’ve been a bit obvious with how I feel about you. On stage, and off, actually. I like you, Lou. A lot. I know it’s bloody soon to be saying that but, god I don’t care. I’m crazy busy, I spend my time surrounded by people who work for me, and I just, I like how you don’t treat me like I’m Harry Styles. You treat me like I’m me, just Harry, you see through all the bullshit somehow. And, I - well, I think I’d like to maybe take you out, just us two? Maybe see where this goes?”

Louis felt a little stunned at Harry’s sudden honesty, and judging by the expression on Harry’s face, he had surprised himself too. Harry was fiddling nervously with the rings on his fingers now, sliding and twisting them around in some form of nervous gesture that just made Louis want to put him at ease.  

“I’d like that, a lot. I really would. But Harry, you have to know, Jake is part of me. You can’t just decide you want me and not want to be involved with him, too. He already likes you a lot, mainly cos you’re Harry Styles, sorry about that, but he’s got this way with you he doesn’t usually have around strangers. He can be quite shy with adults, but you broke down those walls so quickly with him. You need to understand that I have to protect him above and beyond anything, he’s my number one-”

“I do, I get that, so much. And if he doesn’t like this, or you decide you can’t deal with whatever this might be with having a kid, then I understand, Louis. He always has to come first, and I get it. But, and I’m being honest here, he’s an amazing kid and it’s been lovely having him around today. Just seeing everything through his eyes is a real joy, like, it’s all new again, you know? I’m happy being his friend, I really am. And I promise I would never hurt him, I’ll do whatever you need me to to protect him, I swear.”

Louis felt fond at how animated Harry was getting now, how earnest he seemed in his feelings for Louis and Jacob, despite Louis’ heavy warning. He felt Harry’s hand creep across his leg towards his own, and he took it in his own, resting his smaller one in Harry’s large, soft hand. “Okay. Let’s try this. But, erm, I have work, I can’t just drop my life Haz…”

“And I wouldn’t expect you to. Jacob was telling me about the sunflowers they’re growing for their class project, he seems like he loves school, I’d never want to interrupt that, or your job. What is it you do? Jake said something about working with him?”

Louis grinned at Harry’s easy use of Jacob’s nickname, and they chatted about his job for a while, Harry listening intently as Louis passionately spoke about his work and how much he loved it. As he finished speaking, he glanced at his phone, shocked to see it was now gone 2am. They’d been sat talking for almost two hours, but it had flown by. Harry noticed Louis’ movement, and carefully slipped out from under Louis’ legs, taking his hand back.

“I’d better go, it’s late and I’m sure your little man will have you up early. But Louis, thank you. I’m really excited to take you out. I’ll obviously drive you both home tomorrow but-”

“Harry, you have a concert here tomorrow. Don’t be daft, we’ll get the train or something-”

“I’ll drive you home,” Harry continued, ignoring Louis’ protests with a small smile. “And I’ll sort out something for the two of us. Let me know when your mum or whoever can have Jacob, and I’ll go from there. I promise you won’t regret it, Lou.” They both padded over to the door, and Harry couldn’t resist peeking through the slightly ajar door at the sleeping form in bed, mouth wide open as he snored away. “So cute. I’d love to have breakfast with you both tomorrow?”

Louis nodded and held the door open, almost wanting to tell Harry to stay, that they could talk even more, no matter how impractical that was. “We’d like that. I’ll let you know when we’re awake?”

Harry stuck his thumb up and laughed at the gesture, suddenly crowding into Louis’ space and wrapping his arms around him in a quick hug. He squeezed tightly for a second, humming as Louis returned the cuddle, both stepping back afterwards, feeling a little shy for some reason. “Sleep well, Lou, and thank you for everything. I really had such a fun time with you guys today. Night.” Louis just watched as Harry tiptoed up the corridor, wiggling his fingers in a goodbye as he opened his own door, finally disappearing into his room.

Louis shut the door behind him and pulled across the security chain, turning off the lights as he walked into the bedroom. He left Harry’s hoodie on as the room felt slightly chilly, and he crawled into bed next to his sleeping son, kissing him softly on the cheek. He started to doze off, mind racing with thoughts of Harry, Harry, Harry.

*****

“Harryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Jacob yelled, dashing all too quickly for the time of day across the dining room in the hotel, throwing himself at the man sat at the table, clambering up into his lap. Louis just rolled his eyes, given up already on trying to instill some boundaries between the two when it seemed they were perfectly happy with how they were. Louis went and fetched a plate of food for Jacob, turning to check he was okay, laughing when he saw him munching on a piece of melon from Harry’s plate. He balanced an orange juice and a cup of tea in his other hand and made his way across the room, taking a seat opposite Harry and his son.

“Sorry about him,” Louis started to say, buttering Jacob’s toast and lathering it in strawberry jam.

“Don’t be,” Harry returned with a grin, shuffling the little boy onto one thigh, an arm wrapped easily around his waist in support. After he’d finished the toast and his juice, Jacob had gotten a little quiet, and both Harry and Louis had noticed, trying to perk him up as they held conversation across the table but nothing seemed to work. All of a sudden, Jacob sniffed and turned, burying his head in Harry’s neck, the younger man looking over at Louis in alarm.

“Jake? What’s up mate?” Harry asked softly, wondering if he should be handing the boy over to his father now, feeling a bit out of his depth. Jacob just shook his head and lifted his arms, wrapping them around Harry’s neck, holding him in place. Harry shushed him whilst he rubbed his back, and eventually Jacob pulled back, tears streaking down his little cheeks which honestly left Harry broken hearted.

“I’m never gonna see you again Harry and I’m gonna miss you,” Jacob said, crying again as he said the last words. Louis’ heart ached, and whilst he knew, well, he hoped that wasn’t true, he hated that this was making his son emotional. However, Harry was quick to jump in and reassure the boy, all while hoping he wasn’t treading on anyone’s toes.

“Nope, not true,” he whispered. “You’re my best friend now, and I’m gonna come and see you soon, I promise. And I don’t make promises that I won’t keep. You can call me whenever you like, Daddy has my number, or you can FaceTime me! I like FaceTiming, you can tell me all about school and stuff, I’d really like that.” Louis’ heart warmed at the enthusiasm in Harry’s voice, and it seemed to do the trick with his son as well, as Jacob smiled, wiping away the tears with the neck of Harry’s t-shirt.

“Really? You’re my best friend too, Harry! You can come to my house and play sometime, I can show my room and - OH!" He gasped, his eyes widening comically as realisation dawned on him. "You’re on my wall! I can show you your face on my wall!” Harry laughed, throwing his head back with it and Louis felt a pang in his chest. He might have only known the man a few days but gosh, was he quickly wheedling his way into Louis’ head and his heart.

They loaded up the car together, making sure everything had been collected from the hotel rooms before they began the long drive back to Manchester. The roads were busy so it took longer than expected, but even so, it felt like too soon when they pulled up at Louis and Jacob’s house, readying themselves to say goodbye. Jacob was crying again as Louis put the bags into the house along with Jacob’s car seat, leaving Harry and Jacob outside to have a moment to say goodbye without him.

He felt a little emotional himself for some reason which felt a little silly as he knew he and Harry were making plans to see each other again, but even so, the thought of not seeing Harry for the next few days filled him with a strange sense of sadness. They’d grown close in a very short space of time, and while it should perhaps feel odd, it didn't. He took a breath and stepped out of the house, watching as Harry was crouched in front of Jacob, gently wiping his tears as he chatted to him, pressing something into the little boy’s hand, folding his fingers around it. Jacob nodded and looked over, sending Louis a wobbly smile.

He stepped over and let Harry hug him, the bigger man’s arms enclosing him in a tight cuddle, their bodies pressed together. After a few seconds, Louis reluctantly pulled away, but he gasped slightly as Harry leant back in and kissed his cheek. It was a mere sweep of his lips against Louis’ stubble, but gosh, the butterflies it sent through Louis told him all that he needed to know. As Harry pulled away, Louis gazed deep into his eyes and saw something flash in them. They smiled softly at each other, and Louis reached a hand out, lacing his fingers with Harry’s, right there on the street, uncaring about who might be seeing them.

“See you soon, yeah?” Louis mumbled, feeling Harry squeeze his fingers in a comforting gesture. Harry pressed his lips together and nodded, clearly fighting back words and emotion himself. Louis watched as Harry ruffled Jacob’s hair one last time, and waved, climbing into his car. Louis picked Jacob up onto his hip and they stared as Harry started his engine, performing a quick three point turn before pulling in at the kerb again and diving out, wrapping both Tomlinson’s in a final hug.

“Call me, both of you, okay? Whatever time of day, I’ll always answer. I’m gonna miss you, but I’ll see you very soon, I promise. Bye.” He blinked rapidly as he stepped away, and Louis pretended not to notice as Harry wiped at his eyes before he put the car into gear and drove away.

*****

 

*****

The rest of Louis’ week passed by relatively uneventfully considering the events of the weekend. Jacob had been on a high since Harry had left, and the three of them had spent an hour on Sunday evening on FaceTime, chatting about anything and everything until Jacob was practically falling asleep. Harry had already made them reservations for dinner, and Louis was pondering over whether to tell Jacob he was leaving him with Jay to go out with Harry, but his plans for silence were scuppered when Harry made a surprise visit a few hours before he was heading out with Louis.

Jacob was playing out the front of the house in their small front garden while Louis was washing the car. It was an unseasonably warm Saturday afternoon and Louis had thrown his top off, already soaked to the skin and was scrubbing at a tough mud patch when a car revved down the road. Jacob practically screamed and Louis stood suddenly, whacking his head on the wing mirror, quickly trying to get his bearings despite the blinding pain across his skull.

“Fuck- Jacob, what’s wrong?” he called, but was steadied by two firm hands on his hips, and a concerned face peering into his own. Louis wondered then just how hard he’d hit his head, still rubbing at the sore spot. “Harry?”

“God, Lou, are you alright? I heard the bonk from across the road, do you need me to get you some frozen peas or something for it?” Louis chuckled at Harry’s thoughtfulness, and pulled the man into a quick hug, seeing Jacob skipping around the grass over Harry’s shoulder.

“I’m fine, had much worse. Anyway, what are you doing here? Thought you weren’t coming by til I’d got rid of Jake to my mum.” Harry shrugged and let his hands drop back to his sides as they walked together over to Jacob, taking a seat on the grass, letting the sun warm them both. Jacob flopped down opposite Harry and lined up the trucks he’d been happily playing with.

“Harry, wanna play trucks? These are my bestest ones, and you can use my most favourite one!” Jacob held it up, and Louis went to protest but was stopped by Harry who was scrambling to his knees, taking one of the trucks from the floor with a grin.

“Sure! These look awesome, I used to love playing cars and trucks when I was your age. Erm, Lou, don’t you have a car to finish washing? Me and Jake will be fine here…” Louis nodded and stood up, looking on from a distance as the first person he’d allowed close to either himself or Jacob weaved himself even more seamlessly into their lives, and he felt powerless to stop it.

*****

A few hours later, Jacob had been dropped at Jay’s by Louis, and he was now stood on the stairs, nervously running his fingers through his hair while Harry waited in the sitting room, ready to drive them for their, well, it was a date. Louis knew it, Harry knew it, though neither of them seemed willing to use the word. He glanced down at his outfit and decided it was now or never, descending the last few steps and stepping into the sitting room. Harry must have heard as he was stood up, waiting for Louis, hands clasped in front of him.

“Wow. I mean, erm, you look lovely, Lou,” Harry said, and Louis could feel his gaze all over him. He took in Harry’s own outfit, a floral shirt unbuttoned halfway down his toned torso, tight black skinny jeans with rips at the knees, and battered brown Chelsea boots. It shouldn’t work but it did. If Louis was being completely honest, Harry looked gorgeous. They both smiled, noticing the mutual admiration and Louis quickly grabbed his keys from the side.

They left the house together and got into Louis’ car. Louis thanked whatever Gods were above for his decision to hoover out the car earlier before he’d washed it, as he didn't feel too embarrassed about the state of his battered old vehicle, a distinct contrast to Harry’s own sleek car. He did, however, blush when Harry’s album started blasting from the speakers, prompting a laugh from the man sat next to him.

“Bloody kid!” Louis cursed, reaching for the stereo and flicking the radio on, laughing himself now. “He wasn’t kidding when he said he listens to it everywhere we go!” The tension was broken and when they pulled up outside the restaurant, Louis parked the car and hopped out, joining Harry before they strolled in together. Harry gave his name and they both ignored the stares of everyone else in the restaurant as they were led by a waiter to a quiet section at the back, somewhat secluded by dividers. Louis felt grateful for the semblance of privacy.

Harry ordered them a bottle of wine, and Louis was quick to tell Harry he was only having one glass as he had to drive home, and wanted to make sure he could get to Jacob if he was needed. Harry nodded in understanding and quickly changed the order to two glasses, telling him he wouldn’t drink if Louis wasn’t. They placed their order after Harry had recommended Louis a couple of dishes he liked himself. He’d also decided tonight was the night he was going to get to know Louis a bit more.

“So Lou. Tell me more about you. I mean, I know a few bits but I’m really curious about some stuff, if you don’t mind me asking, that is?” Louis just nodded, having expected this. It was fairly obvious that Harry had been dying to ask questions on a couple of occasions, especially when they’d sat chatting at the hotel, and he was ready to answer them now, sure he wouldn’t be judged by the man opposite him. “Okay, well if you don’t want to answer, I won’t be offended. But I want to get to know you, I really do. First question, I’ll get the worst one out of the way I think. Obviously Jacob has a mum… what happened to her?”

“Wow, going in for the kill, Harry,” Louis joked, reaching for his wine and taking a big sip. “I don’t mind, I’ve just never really had to tell anyone this before so bear with me, yeah? You know I like guys. I knew I liked guys but I was in denial, for a long time, actually. I didn't know anyone else growing up who was gay or bi or whatever, and it seemed too daunting to me to come out. So I hid what I really wanted, and messed around with girls. I only had sex with a few women, usually when I was pissed, but I never, god, I can’t believe I’m talking about this-”

Harry reached across the table and took Louis’ hand in his, a reassuring gesture that settled Louis’ nerves somewhat. “Take your time Lou, we have all night.” Something about that comment sent a shiver down Louis’ spine, and he exhaled shakily, steeling himself.

“Anyway. I was never, um, satisfied, sexually, with a woman. But I did it cos it’s what you do, isn’t it? Go out and pick up a girl, take her home. Well, I took Faye home one night. She told me a few months later she was pregnant, and I thought my life was over. Dramatic, but I was 21, gay and now having a kid with a woman I had no feelings for. Fast forward seven or so months and she turned up on my doorstep at two in the morning, our screaming baby son in her arms, telling me she couldn’t do it anymore. So since then, I've been a single dad, and I’ve raised Jake on my own. She’s never been in touch, but I've kept my number and stuff so she’s got no excuse. Luckily, Jake’s never really asked about her. He has me and my mum and stuff, so he’s not short on love. It’s just sad she’s missing out on an amazing kid, you know?”

Louis was shocked when he looked up and saw Harry sniffing, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. He squeezed Louis’ hand tighter then and nodded, reaching for his own glass and having a drink before he replied. “I, god, I admire you so much Lou. That’s huge, taking on a baby on your own at 21. I’m 23 and can barely sort myself out, and you, you’re out there raising a whole new amazing person, and that’s just, god, it’s amazing. You’re amazing, Lou.” Louis blushed deeply at that, and was grateful a waiter suddenly appeared with their starters.

He changed the subject for a bit, spinning it round to hear more about Harry and his career for a while, and they both laughed as Harry told many funny stories. He’d thought his career was over fairly early on when his first album had flopped, but then Only Angel had come along and flipped everything on its head again. He admired how Harry had done it all alone, touring the world at 23 years old, commanding audiences of thousands to follow his every word and action. It was funny how easily that came to him considering how nervous he seemed tonight with just the two of them.

After their main meals had been and gone, a hush fell between them. Their bellies were full, Louis’ face ached from laughing and smiling all night, but he felt now was sort of a turning point. What happened from here on out could possibly change everything, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. Harry must have picked up on his worries as he hooked a foot around Louis’ ankle, gaining his attention, sending him a concerned look.

“You okay Lou? Did you not enjoy your dinner?”

“No, no, it was lovely,” Louis hurried to say, not wanting to seem ungrateful in the least. “It’s just…”

“Just what?” Harry asked softly, trying to push Louis into answering, wanting to soothe whatever concerns Louis had.

“I’m scared.” Louis glanced down at the table then, but a pair of fingers touched under his chin, tilting his head until he was looking up at Harry again.

“Scared? Of what? Me?” Harry said, looking a little upset at the idea.

“No. Well, sort of. Of what you can do to me, really. I’ve never let anyone in, Harry. I’m scared to, because I have Jacob and he’s my number one priority. I can’t let him get hurt, and I think opening myself up to something like a relationship means I’m letting him into it by default, too. He’s only a kid, he doesn’t deserve to get hurt…” Louis felt Harry remove his foot then, and watched as he sat up straighter, hurt flashing across his face then.

“You think I’d hurt him, Lou? I don’t - I, I don’t know what to say.”

“Not intentionally, Harry, no. But things happen, no matter how much we intend them not to. Our lives are so different Harry. I wake up with my kid, go to work, come home and become a dad again. That’s it, that’s my life. You? You’re touring the world, going on TV, singing to thousands of people. I just don’t see how this can go anywhere, no matter how much I might want it to-” Louis was stopped by Harry suddenly pushing his chair back from the table, and he watched with wide eyes and he picked up the chair and walked around the table with it, sitting next to Louis and taking his hands again.

“If we want it to, Lou, we can make it go somewhere. And, god, I want it to. I like you, so much. I haven’t felt a connection with someone like I have with you in, well, ever. I’d really like it if you gave me a chance to show you that I want this, that I want you, and Jacob too. Let me show I can be the man you want me to be. Just give me a chance, that’s all I ask. Promise you’ll at least think about it, yeah?” Louis bit his lip and nodded, Harry smiling back at him, not dropping their hands at all. The waiter brought over their deserts, puzzled a little at the new seating arrangement but set them down in front of them regardless.

They changed the subject again over desert, this time Louis telling Harry about how he dreamed of one day finally getting his teaching qualifications, but that he was waiting until Jacob was older so he could go into it without worrying about missing out on his child growing up. Harry told Louis about how he felt he’d missed out on the whole sixth form and University experience given that he was already in the music business by then, and the conversation carried over into the drive home.

Louis navigated the familiar streets as Harry rummaged in his glove box, finally pulling out Louis’ treasured copy of Fleetwood Mac’s album ‘Rumours’ with a loud “ah hah!” before sticking in the CD player. They sang along all the way home until  Louis silenced himself to listen to Harry singing The Chain next to him, and when Harry launched into a haunting version of Songbird, Louis was fighting back the urge to do something, to touch Harry, amazed by the raw emotion and passion in his voice as he sung. It was like a private concert, and it was giving Louis chills.

Louis parked the car in his driveway, and Harry still sang, his eyes closed as he delivered note perfect lyrics up until the song finished, and Louis couldn’t resist applauding.

“Fucking hell Harry, that was amazing. I mean, I knew you could sing, but that was brilliant. Honestly, you have a beautiful voice.” Harry blushed at that and jumped out of the car, running around to hold the door open for Louis. They smiled and Harry took Louis’ hand as he walked him up the path to his front door, and they stopped awkwardly in front of each other, fingers still laced together, close enough to feel their breaths in the rapidly cool evening air.

“Thank you for coming out with me, Lou,” Harry said softly, and Louis glanced down, noticing how Harry’s toes were turned in again, a sure sign he was nervous. “I really had a great time, you’re wonderful company, you really are.”

“You too. Dinner was amazing, thank you so much. I had a lot of fun. Can I, um…” he tailed off, feeling a little unsure now.

“Can you what?” Harry said, staring intently at him, waiting for Louis to finish his sense, anticipation flooding through his veins.

“I mean, I know you’re back on tour next week, but, well, I don’t want this, whatever this is, to be over just yet. Can I see you again?”

“Hell yes,” Harry said, hurrying closer, pressing their chests together. “I was hoping you’d say that. I’ll come and see you before I go, want to see Jacob again, but I want this, whatever you want to call this. I really do, Lou. And I know it’s soon, but my life is so crazy and hectic, I just need to feel like this is something, that I haven’t let you slip through my fingers.”

“You haven’t,” Louis mumbled lowly, heart beating erratically in his chest now, hoping for more but too scared to ask.

“Good, I’m glad. Christ. Can I, god, please can I kiss you, Lou?” Louis just nodded his agreement, and the next thing he knew, Harry’s soft pink lips were pressing against his own. Harry brought up his hands to cup Louis’ cheeks, keeping them close as their lips worked together, Louis allowing himself to get lost in the kiss. His hands rested on Harry’s slim hips, their bodies as close as could be, and in that minute, Louis didn't care that they were in public, that they could be seen and have photos of their first kiss all over social media in a matter of seconds.

Louis felt bold, and ran his tongue along the seam of Harry’s lip, moaning as Harry parted them, allowing his tongue entrance. Harry slid one hand around to the back of Louis’ head, threading his fingers through his hair as they tilted their heads, getting deeper into the kiss. Harry’s tongue stroked over Louis’, swirling around, tasting every corner of Louis’ mouth, Louis relishing the feel of Harry’s stubbly jaw brushing against his own.

As the kiss came to a natural end, they pressed their lips together a few more times before they eventually pulled away.

“Wow,” Harry whispered, resting his forehead against Louis’, staring deep into his blue eyes. “I wanna do that again, I love the way you kiss.” Louis chuckled and pressed their lips together again, chasing the feeling once more. Harry was quick to reciprocate, but Louis pulled away reluctantly, feeling himself get a little too into it this time. “Sorry, shit, um, I’ll let you get inside. But this is the best date I’ve ever had, Lou. Promise me there’ll be more?

“I promise,” Louis said, reaching for his keys, turning to slot them into the door, and it creaked open, signalling the night really was over. “Goodnight, Harry. Thank you again. I had such a good time.”

“Me too,” Harry replied with a smile, giving Louis one last chaste kiss goodnight before he stepped back from the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow, we’ll set up something before I go off to Europe?” Louis nodded and stood in the doorway, watching with a slight pang of sadness as Harry jogged across the road and climbed into his car. The headlights flickered on, and the window wound down as Harry waved. “Sleep well Lou, see you soon!” Louis held up a hand and waved, shutting and locking the door behind him once Harry had driven away.

He climbed the stairs, not in the mood for anything but getting to bed and having a lie in thanks to the fact Jacob was still at his mum’s. He changed for bed, sliding between his cool sheets in just his boxers when his phone chimed. He picked it up quickly, worried it would be his mum with a message about Jacob but his heart skipped a beat when he saw it was Harry. He read it with a big smile, and replied quickly, waiting eagerly for another reply that only took a few seconds to come.

 

He yawned as he sent the last message, and snuggled down, closing his eyes and thinking about the kiss he’d shared with Harry. It had been too long since he’d had a first kiss with someone, and something about what had happened about tonight felt special. It was a private moment for the two of them to share, and Louis knew he’d treasure the memory of it forever, no matter where this went from now.

His phone buzzed again and he picked it up, biting his lip as he read Harry’s honest words. He tapped out a reply, and put the phone onto silent, leaving it at that. Whatever was going to come, Louis was going to make the most of it, that much he knew.

 


	7. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Jacob hatch their own surprise, Harry meets someone important to Louis by accident, and Louis is honest with his friends ...

It had been two months since Harry had taken Louis out on their date, and reluctantly, he’d had to leave just 5 days after, heading back on tour across Europe. He’d of course kept his promise to come and see Jacob before he left, and the three of them spent a lovely day together at Louis’ house, Jacob beside himself to finally be able to show Harry his room. Harry had signed his big poster for him, much to Jacob’s delight, and Louis had stood in the doorway as he watched Harry spend nearly an hour on Jacob’s favourite puzzle with him, patience seemingly endless when it came to the little boy.  
  
Louis had cooked for them that night, and both Jacob and Harry had cried when he had had to say goodbye. Jacob insisted Harry read him a bedtime story, and Louis had been stunned. Jacob had never allowed anyone except for his dad to read to him, not even his grandma or his favourite Auntie Lottie, but apparently, Harry was the exception to every rule. He and Jacob had hugged for a while after until the little boy was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open, and that allowed Louis to kiss Harry goodbye, in the way he wanted to.  
  
The kiss was bittersweet, a goodbye but yet a promise of what was to come. Louis had tangled his fingers in Harry’s curls, messing them up but neither of them cared. Louis enjoyed the taste and feel of Harry too much, and while the kiss was amazing, it made it all the harder to say goodbye when the hour finally got too late. They’d hugged and kissed by Harry’s car, making endless promises of phone calls and FaceTime dates, and Harry had sworn he would be back to visit them both as soon as he landed back home in a few months time.

*****

It turned out Louis couldn’t wait. As soon as Harry had texted him saying he was about to board his flight home, he made a decision.

“Jake! Get dressed, we’re going out!” he shouted up the stairs, reaching out for his jacket to put in the car. It was a warm day but he always liked to be prepared, especially for his son. He heard a few thuds as Jacob stomped around, finally descending the stairs in a speedy manner that made Louis a little nervous. As much as he loved Jacob growing up and gaining independence, the way he did things sometimes scared him and he struggled to hold back from making comments he knew would upset his son.

“Daddy, you said we could stay in today! Where are we going, not Tesco again…” Jacob pouted, stomping his little bare foot on the carpet, making Louis arch an eyebrow at him. Jacob quickly averted his gaze to the floor, fully aware of how much Louis hated it when he acted like a spoilt brat. He sat down on the stairs and pulled on his little Marvel socks, sliding his tiny feet into his Vans. Louis couldn’t be bothered to get him changed, smiling softly at the coral coloured shirt and blue tie Jacob had pulled on that morning, his own version of Harry’s style of course.

“No, not Tesco. Although now you say it, we need some bread and fruit so we’ll have to go later. But right now, I thought we might go to the airport?” Jacob frowned as he climbed into his car seat, sitting back so Louis could buckle him in. Louis could almost hear the cogs turning, wondering why they were suddenly going to the airport as he knew they weren’t going on holiday since they didn't have any suitcases with them.

“Why the airport? It’s so farrrrrrr,” Jacob whined, and Louis turned around then, a bit fed up of his son's attitude.

“Stop your whining. Now. I can change my mind, and I know you’ll regret that when you find out why we’re going.” Louis decided against telling Jacob why they were going just then, letting him stew for a few minutes, a stroppy look still on his face until a quiet voice piped up. Louis glanced at him in the rearview mirror when he pulled up at a red light.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I was rude.” Louis reached backwards, squeezing Jacob’s knee before he drove off, starting up the CD player so Harry’s voice could fill their car, as it still did on all their drives anywhere. “Why are we going to the airport?”

“I thought you might like to welcome Harry home?” Louis asked with a grin, and Jacob shrieked, clapping eagerly in his seat. They discussed it all the way to the airport, how Louis knew Anne, Harry’s mum, hadn’t been able to make it to collect her son since she had a charity engagement, and that Louis knew, well, he hoped Harry would be pleased to see the pair of them. He knew he was flying into Manchester Airport since he was only coming from mainland Europe, meaning they had plenty of time to get there and surprise the man they’d been longing to see for weeks.

Louis headed for the short stay car park, and winced at the extortionate parking prices as he took a ticket, driving around for ten minutes until he found a space. He lifted Jacob out of his seat and they walked together, hand in hand, to arrivals, where Jacob slumped on the cold marble floor, playing on Louis’ phone while they awaited Harry’s arrival. There were a few fans dotted around, obviously tracking Harry’s whereabouts, and Louis was hoping neither he or Jacob would be recognised, at least until Harry got there.

The arrivals boards changed, telling everyone that the flight from Munich had landed, and Louis’ heart started racing. People were being held back from the barriers lining the arrivals gate by security guards, and Louis swallowed heavily, wondering if he had made a huge mistake. People started trickling out of the gate, and Louis somehow remembered that Harry had said a few days ago in a text that he always like to wait until last to disembark, so he waited patiently. All of a sudden, there was a cacophony of cheers and screams as Harry made his way through the gate.

In the middle of the craziness, Jacob slipped away and Louis looked around in a panic. He elbowed his way to the end of the arrivals barriers, and his heart settled when he saw Jacob landing in Harry’s open arms, legs wrapped automatically around Harry’s waist, bumping against the bag hanging from Harry’s shoulder. Louis watched, out of sight as Harry’s eyes started roaming around the crowds of gathered people, and Louis knew they were looking for him. Finally, their eyes met and Harry smiled softly, winking at Louis as he made his way towards him, Jacob still safe in his grip as he waved at fans, calling hello, ignoring those questioning who the little boy in his arms was.

Harry stopped in front of Louis and Jacob grinned, despite Louis’ somewhat stern expression directed at his son. The pair just smiled, well aware of the fact they were very much in public and there were a multitude of camera phones being pointed at them, but Harry allowed Jacob to wriggle down, and the small boy stood to the side, looking up intently at his dad and his friend. Harry moved into Louis’ space then and wrapped his arms around him, pulling them close, each inhaling the others scent as they hugged, ignoring the screams around them.

“Lou,” Harry breathed out into his neck, fingers clutching at the fabric of Louis’ white t-shirt.

“Hey love,” Louis mumbled back, shivering as he felt the very tip of Harry’s fingers sliding up under his top. They broke the hug and neither moved for more, even though they were both wanting it, and allowed security to walk with them, heading off down a private corridor out to the car park. As the security door swung shut behind them, Harry grabbed at Louis’ hand and pulled him around, their lips meeting in a quick kiss. Something flipped in Louis’ tummy at the close contact, and he pulled away, smiling as he let his forehead touch Harry’s, watching Jacob skipping ahead of them out of the corner of his eye.

“Later, not around Jake, not yet,” Louis said reluctantly, but Harry nodded in understanding, happy to take whatever this was at Louis’ pace. Jacob ran back then, and took Louis’ free hand, grinning at how his dad was holding not only his hand but Harry’s.

“You’re holding Harry’s hand, Daddy! That must mean you’re best friends now!” he said cheerfully, and Harry stopped them, pushing them both against the wall as he wriggled his phone out of his tight jeans pocket. The pair realised Harry wanted to snap a picture of them and pulled identical silly faces, making Harry laugh behind the lens, quickly schooling their features into normal smiles for the last picture.

“We are best friends,” Harry said to Jacob as he tapped away at his screen, holding out his phone to show Louis once he was done, and the man returned his cheeky grin with a smile and a nod of his own, telling Harry it was fine to post. 

 

  
Louis felt a little tingle at the fact this tweet hinted towards more than just friendship between them pair of them but somehow, he didn't mind. He knew pictures of his and Harry’s hug, and Jacob’s leap into Harry’s arms would be all over Twitter by now, people speculating over why they were there, but he reasoned with himself that this was bound to happen eventually, and he needed to get used to it.  
  
“How was the tour, then?” Louis asked as they slipped out of the door, and he guided Harry in the direction of his car. Harry waved off his manager, telling him quickly that he was going home with Louis and Jacob, and he’d call again next week, determined to have a bit of down time before he dove back into anything work related.  
  
“Yeah, good! Hectic but it’s always fun being out there. Missed seeing my two favourite smiling faces in the crowd, though,” Harry joked as Louis took his bag from him, letting Harry pick up Jacob who was dragging his feet a bit, not really aware of the traffic around him. Louis loved that Harry had decided to do just what he would have done himself, and grabbed his keys, unlocking the car and putting Harry’s large holdall into the boot. His suitcases were being dropped back to his house by his team later, and Louis figured he could lend Harry some comfy clothes if he needed them. Harry buckled Jacob in and then slid in next to Louis, grabbing his hand and resting it on Louis’ leg as they exited the car park and began the hour long drive home.  
  
Just a few hours later, Harry was out like a light on Louis’ sofa, Jacob snuggled under a blanket at his feet, watching Power Rangers on TV while Louis cobbled together a quick dinner for the three of them. He and Jacob ate quietly in the kitchen while Harry dozed, his own plate of food wrapped up in the fridge for later on. As Louis washed up the plates and cutlery, Harry sloped in, joggers slung low on his hips and crowded up behind Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist.  
  
“Something smells good,” he mumbled, nuzzling his lips into Louis’ neck, a very intimate gesture.  
  
“Food’s in the fridge,” Louis said, continuing to clean the plates in the sink.  
  
“Wasn’t talking about the food,” Harry rumbled against Louis’ back, and Louis’ eyes flew open. It was the first time Harry had been suggestive in that way, and it felt like a lot. He turned his head, meeting Harry’s lips in a kiss before he wriggled out from under his body, pushing the plate in the microwave and setting the timer. Jacob wandered in, looking sleepy, so Louis told him to get in his pj’s, the little boy following the instruction as he knew better than to try and fight his tiredness.  
  
He cleared up and put away the dishes while Harry ate his food hungrily, telling Louis how delicious it was as he watched him work with the practised ease of someone who did these tasks every day. He washed his own plate, despite Louis’ protests and followed him up the stairs when he went to tuck Jacob in and kiss him goodnight. The little boy was already under his covers with his eyes shut, exhausted from the excitement of the day.  
  
“Night daddy, night Hazzy,” he mumbled, kissing Louis and pulling Harry down into a cuddle. They both left, leaving the door cracked open as Jacob didn’t like the dark, and stood awkwardly on the landing, Louis toying with a few words in his mind. Harry yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand before he smiled lazily at Louis, tiredness clear in his face.  
  
“Um, do you want to stay the night?” Louis asked softly, aware Jacob was falling asleep only a few metres away. Harry's eyes widened, and Louis quickly added to his question. “I mean, you look too tired to drive home, and I can take the sofa-“  
  
“I’d like that,” Harry replied, reaching for Louis’ hand. “I don’t expect anything Lou, but you don’t have to take the sofa. I’m sure we can share a bed without anything going on. It’d be nice to just hug you?” It came out like a question but still, Harry meant every word. The thought of falling asleep with Louis in his arms sounded perfect, and he hoped he wasn’t scaring the older man off with his enthusiasm.  
  
“Yeah, alright,” Louis returned, not dropping Harry's hand as they moved towards his bedroom. Louis prayed for a second that he had left his room tidy that morning and was relieved to see he’d even already made the bed. He bent over his chest of drawers and fished out one of his baggiest t shirts and biggest joggers for Harry, passing them to him, grabbing his own pyjamas as he made his way to his side of the bed.  
  
“Mind if I just wear the t-shirt and my boxers? I get hot in my sleep and I don’t wanna wake you up by kicking off the quilt or something…” Harry trailed off with a shrug, hoping Louis wouldn’t mind. Louis just shrugged and quickly got changed, his eyes determinedly not flicking over to Harry's bare body as he changed t-shirts. It wasn’t really necessary that Harry change since he already had on one of his own t-shirts but Louis couldn’t deny he liked the sight of Harry in his stuff. He’d worn the merch t-shirt Harry had given him enough to know Harry liked it on him, and now he could kind of see where he was coming from. It felt somehow intimate to see Harry in this way.  
  
They brushed their teeth next to each other, Louis giving Harry a spare brush from the little baskets next to the sink that were otherwise crammed full of kids toothpaste, baby shampoo for Jacob (it was the only one that didn’t irritate his eyes), Avengers shower gel and hair products. It was blatantly a male-only zone and Harry liked that he felt comfortable there already. Louis left while Harry used the toilet, and soon enough, he emerged from the bathroom, standing awkwardly in the doorway, watching Louis laid in bed and tapping away on his phone.  
  
“Hey, come on, get in,” Louis said, flicking back the edge of the duvet to welcome Harry in. Harry quickly pushed his joggers down his legs until they hit the floor and climbed into the bed next to Louis. He let out a very loud yawn and turned onto his side, facing Louis, admiring him and how his face looked lit up by the screen of his phone. “Sorry, just replying to an email from my class teacher, making sure things are set for our observation on Monday.”  
  
“S’ok Lou, know your job is important,” Harry mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. Finally, Louis flicked the phone off and plugged it into the charger, flicking off the light before he got under the covers too, jumping when Harry put his cold feet on his legs. “Oh bloody hell, why are your feet so cold?” he moaned, making Harry smile softly at him. “Come here…” Harry shuffled closer and they kissed slowly for a minute, both conscious not to let it go much further, neither quite ready for that just yet.  
  
“Sleep well Louis, I’ll make sure I’m up and dressed before Jake gets up,” Harry said, pressing a final peck to Louis’ lips. He rolled over, and when he didn't feel Louis snuggle up close, he reached backwards for his arm until his hand made contact with Louis’ wrist and yanked him forwards, sighing as Louis’ chest made contact with his back. “Night Lou.”  
  
“Night Haz, sweet dreams.”

*****

The next morning, Harry stirred, blinking his eyes as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. He stretched out, wincing slightly as his back clicked and he sat up, grabbing for his phone from the bedside table. 10.25am. Blimey. He hadn’t laid in for that long for a while, and he smiled as he realised he was in Louis’ bedroom. He took the few minutes of alone time to have a proper look at the inner sanctum of Louis, looking for any clues that might tell him something more about his new friend, the man he was hoping would eventually be more than just that to him.

He glanced over to Louis’ bedside table and smiled at the photo of Jacob and Louis there, one clearly taken a few years ago since Jacob looked much smaller than he was now. It was in a ‘World’s Best Daddy’ frame, and Harry loved the fact that Louis proudly displayed something like that. Other than that, there wasn’t a huge amount of stuff in there that told him much about Louis. His aftershaves and other products were lined up on top of a tall chest of drawers, and a wooden wardrobe stood in the corner.

Harry could hear laughter trickling up the stairs and had a sudden urge to be part of whatever fun was taking place between Jacob and Louis downstairs. He swung his legs out of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair, hoping he didn't look too much of a mess before he pulled on his joggers and smoothed out the t-shirt Louis had lent him last night. He pulled open the door quietly and crept downstairs, barefoot and sleepy. He stilled as he walked in the sitting room, as there sat Louis and Jacob, but there was also a new face.

The woman had blonde hair and was laughing as she laid on the floor, playing what looked like a game of snakes and ladders with Jacob and Louis. Harry wasn’t sure what to do and he hovered nervously. Before he could turn around and head back to the bedroom, Louis smiled and beckoned him over. He smiled shyly and walked over, sitting on the sofa behind Louis, craving his comfort.

“Morning H,” Louis said, sitting up and turning around, resting a forearm happily on Harry’s leg, and Harry tried to not to show the touch was affecting him somewhat. He was well aware of the stare of the unknown woman on him, but Jacob suddenly stood up and threw himself into Harry’s arms, cuddling tightly around his neck.

“Hi Hazzy! I am so happy you’re here, Daddy said to let you sleep cos you’re really tired because of all the planes but I am pleased you’re up! Can I give it to him now Daddy, please?” Jacob was bouncing up and down on the floor between Harry’s legs now and Louis chuckled and nodded, allowing Jacob to sprint off in the direction of the kitchen. Harry heard a couple of bangs before Jacob walked back in, tongue sticking out in concentration as he held a small plastic plate between his hands, something on top of it.

“Be careful Jake, don’t drop it,” Louis warned as Jacob got nearer, holding it out for Harry to take. On top of it was two fairy cakes, covered in icing and sweets, and while Harry wanted to cringe, the proud smile on Jacob’s face made him return it easily.

“I made them with Daddy this morning cos we woked up too early, so we made cakes for you! I decorated these for you, Daddy did the rest but I think these are the bestest Hazzy, do you like them?” Harry nodded and his heart felt full at the small gesture. Louis got to his feet again then and took the plate from Harry with a wink.

“Let’s go and put them away for Harry, he can share them with us at lunch, yeah?” Jacob nodded and slipped his hand inside Louis’ as they walked into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone with the woman for the first time.

“Um, hi, I’m Harry,” he said nervously, not caring if he looked a mess in front of Louis and Jacob, but a stranger was another thing. He extended his hand and the woman took it, shaking softly with a small smile on her lips.

“I know. It'd be a bit daft if I didn't given my brother and my nephew don’t stop talking about you,” she teased. Harry blushed at that and stayed silent as she carried on talking. “I’m Lottie, one of Lou’s sisters. You stayed the night then?” Harry nodded, feeling a little awkward now. She pulled herself up onto the other sofa and curled her legs up underneath herself.

“Yeah, I was really tired after the flight and that yesterday, Lou offered. We, um, nothing happened, we just slept…” He looked down at his fingers, fiddling with his rings in a comforting gesture.

“Hey, I’m just teasing. I can see my brother likes you, and Jake seems to think the sun shines out of your arse. Just, look after them, yeah? Lou might come across as strong and independent, but he’s a softie really-” she cut off as Louis and Jacob came back in, Jacob flopping back down to the floor to finish the game.

“Hazzy, will you play the next one?” Harry smiled widely at Jacob’s use of the nickname again, and nodded. “Yay!” Louis leant back against Harry’s legs then as he kept playing, and the gesture didn't go unnoticed by Lottie, who looked at them both, eyebrows raised. Louis poked his tongue out and turned his head, pressing a quick and unseen kiss to the inside of Harry’s knee, smiling softly up at him afterwards.

Harry sat and watched the game, the ease of the family dynamic, how happy it all made Jacob, and he couldn’t help but think how he could quite easily get used to this…

 *****

  
A week later, things were getting somewhat back to normal. Harry was still popping around to Louis’ most days after school to visit the pair, and had ordered Pizza Hut takeaway the other night much to Jacob’s delight. It was his favourite and they didn't get to have it often as it cost too much for Louis to buy regularly, so Louis appreciated the gesture. They ate on the sofa in their comfy clothes, watching the movie _Boss Baby_ with Jacob, and something about it had just felt right.

Louis had tried to ignore the pull he felt towards Harry but it had only gotten harder the more time they spent together. They spent long evenings kissing and cuddling on the sofa while Jacob slept upstairs, Louis finding it harder to not take things further, enjoying the way Harry made him feel. He liked the way Harry put his hands on Louis’ hips as they kissed, or gently wrapped his long fingers around the nape of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair. The fear he’d felt weeks ago was starting to disappear, and was being replaced with a want he hadn’t felt for a long, long time.

He was sat in the staff room one lunch time with two of his favourite colleagues, the only ones he had confided in about Harry other than his family. Zayn was the Art teacher who came in three times a week to teach a few classes, and Louis always looked forward to those days. Stan was Louis’ childhood friend, and he was a TA in a year 5 class, but mainly spent his time supporting a child who was finding school especially tough, often lashing out. Stan, though, had the patience of a saint and Louis was often in awe of how his friend was able to talk the boy down, soothing and calming him in what Louis felt were mystical ways.

He tapped out a quick reply to Harry’s text and smiled to himself as he tucked his phone away in his pocket again, glancing up to note the wry smiles on Zayn and Stan’s faces. He rolled his eyes and tucked into the cheese and ham sandwich he’d made earlier that morning, setting his open bag of crisps down on the chair next to his thigh.

“Spit it out,” he said, taking another bite, not taking his eyes off his friends. Stan and Zayn looked at each other, and Stan started to talk.

“We just wondered when you’re gonna get your finger out of your arse and get it on with Harry?” he asked, and Louis nearly choked on his sandwich. “Okay, okay, perhaps not the best phrase to use, but seriously mate. He’s clearly into you, and you’re into him. We just don’t get what’s stopping you.”

Louis swallowed his mouthful, and wiped at the corner of his mouth with a tissue. He grabbed his water bottle, buying him a few seconds to answer. “I like him. A lot. I think that’s obvious, and when he kisses me, he’s all I want. But then, I come back to reality with a bump. He’s Harry fucking Styles guys. What do I have to offer him, really?”

“Seriously, Lou? You do this all the time, and it’s getting old. Sometimes you need to trust someone and just take a leap. He’s hung around for months now, he’s gotten to know Jake, he’s stayed at your place, he tweets about you both… what more does he have to do to prove himself? You don’t have to offer him anything - he just wants you, and Jake too, by the looks of things. Do you want something with him, like a relationship?”

Louis sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, feeling frustrated now. No matter how good his friends were, they just didn't get it. They weren't fathers, they didn’t shoulder the burden of that responsibility every single day. It wasn’t just about him. He wasn’t scared of getting hurt, he could handle a broken heart. But Jacob? He didn't deserve that. Louis wasn’t sure he could risk letting Harry become something more if he was going to walk away again, just like Faye had done six years ago.

“I’m not gonna let Jake get hurt, not again. Harry’s a nice guy, but what if he decides we aren’t enough? I can’t do that to him, lads. He’s deserves better than that.”

“But Lou, so do you,” Zayn said quietly, Stan nodding in agreement next to him. “I’ve seen the videos, the way Harry looks at you both when he’s on stage. It’s like, god, I don’t know, like you’re his focus, his little bit of happiness he looks for. And the tweets are frankly quite sickening. He isn’t shy about how he feels, and if you never risk it Lou, how are you ever gonna know if he is worth it? Some people are worth the risk, and I think Harry is the one you should risk it all for…”

Louis sat back and picked up the apple out of his lunchbox, crunching it as his phone vibrated again. He saw Harry’s name on the screen and swiped to unlock it. It was almost as if Harry had somehow heard their discussion, and was still trying to prove himself. Louis was being a little more honest with Harry too in his messages, and he tapped out a reply, unable to stop the small smile on his lips. 

 

  
“He’s coming over tonight, happy now?” Louis said to his friends, standing up as he heard the whistle in the playground sound out shrilly. “He’s, um, also offered to take me and Jake bowling tomorrow. I guess he’s really trying to prove himself, right? That he wants to be there for Jacob as well?”  
  
Zayn nodded, and rested a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Let me come and take Jake tomorrow night, he hasn’t a sleepover with Uncle Zayn for ages, we can have an Ice Age marathon or something. Take Harry out, talk to him. Have some fun Lou, take a chance. Christ knows you deserve some happiness, and perhaps Harry can be that for you.”  
  
Louis nodded shyly, wondering the same thing himself at that point. “Alright, that’d be good, thanks Z. Jake would love that too, he was moaning he only gets to see you in class at the moment. I’ll text ya, yeah?” They all called bye to each other as they headed back to their respective classes. Louis ignored the feeling of contentment that settled in the pit of his stomach at the thought of spending another night with Harry, and the thought of Jake being away too, leaving him and Harry alone for the first time, did things to him he wasn’t quite ready to admit to.  
  
“Race ya, Mr Tomlinson-“ a little voice called out as Louis headed down the corridor, and he smiled, chasing after the little girl, ready to tackle the rest of his day.


	8. He Likes Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally....
> 
> The Tomlinson's have a morning of fun with Harry, and Louis and Harry get ready for their first official date.

When Louis woke up on Saturday morning with Harry in his arms, he felt like everything was right. The feel of Harry's body against his was perfect, he radiated warmth and Louis wished they could stay there all day. He laid there in the semi-darkness and let thoughts whirl around his head for a moment. He was relieved there was only three working days left until the summer holidays began. He was tired, the kids at work were desperate for their break and behaviour throughout the school was deteriorating because of that. He was tired of being grumpy at work, and couldn’t wait to relax with Jacob again. If that meant spending more time with Harry as well, then so be it. He kissed the man’s forehead, and stilled as he could hear the familiar thuds of Jacob’s footsteps on the floor, telling him his son was up and about.

Louis sighed and reluctantly slid his arm out from underneath Harry’s warm body, unintentionally waking him up too. He made an apologetic face as he reached down to the floor, grabbing the t-shirt he’d thrown there last night when he’d gotten into bed and leaned over to kiss Harry, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before smiling at him. He loved that he got to see Harry in the mornings like this, and as much as he wanted them to just laze about together, he knew Jacob would burst in any moment now and that would provoke questions he wasn’t sure he was ready to answer.

“Morning love,” Louis said, standing up and heading for the door. Harry sat up then, the sheet pooling around his waist, baring his torso to Louis who comically raised his eyebrows. They were getting more comfortable around each other, and there was an ease around them that belied the short amount of time they’d actually known each other. “You can stay in bed but I can hear Jake so I’m gonna get up and sort his brekkie, he’ll be like a hungry monster if he doesn’t get his Coco Pops on time.” Harry smiled and shook his head, climbing out of bed and joining Louis by the door. He put his hands on Louis’ slim hips and pulled him close into a tender kiss.

"Heyyy, morning breath," Louis moaned, worried for all of a second before Harry spoke.

"Don't care, just kiss me" Harry rumbled in his low voice, pulling Louis in for another kiss. Louis allowed himself to get lost in it for a moment as Harry slipped his tongue in gently, playing softly with Louis', teasing the pair of them for a minute before he reluctantly broke it off, the stubble on Louis' jaw leaving a nice sting, a reminder of him Harry would enjoy all day.

“I’ll get up with ya. Can’t miss my Coco Pops too can I? You know I like having family time with you two-” he cut off, eyes wide as he realised what he’d just said. Louis, too, stood quite still but decided to break the tension.

“I like family time with you too. Come on then, let’s go get Jake.” Harry blushed but nodded, grabbing Louis’ hand as he started to leave the room, the door now ajar.

“Thank you. For letting me be a part of this, I mean. I really do love it, I love being part of yours and Jake’s lives. I wish I didn't have to leave in a few weeks, I really do.” Louis just shrugged, kissing Harry’s lips again before he reached to grab a shirt for Harry to put on, sure his son didn't need to be confronted by a topless Harry that early in the day.

“It’s okay, it’s your job, I get it. I’ve got loads of ideas for things to do with Jacob anyway, I’m sure we’ll survive a few weeks apart.” He grinned before he left, opening Jacob’s door and laughed as his son ran at him, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist, getting up on tiptoes to try and kiss Louis good morning. Harry appeared in the doorway behind him, eyes fond as he watched the sweet interaction between the pair, and he waved when Jacob’s eyes landed on him. 

He dropped his arms from around Louis’ waist and ran to Harry, hugging him this time. Harry bent down slightly and lifted the little boy up, propping him on his hip. Jacob grabbed Harry’s face in his little hands and laid a big kiss on his cheek, Harry’s gaze darting over to Louis to check that was okay. It was, judging by the big smile on Louis’ face and he headed out, for the kitchen, Louis trailing in their wake. It was a sunny morning so Louis decided they could eat on the little patio area. He prepared breakfast while Harry set the table, and the three of them sat in the early sunshine eating their breakfast, talking about their plans. Luckily, Jacob was excited to be having a sleepover with Zayn, so didn't seem too upset he wouldn’t be spending the evening with Harry and his dad.

Jacob got dressed afterwards, Harry hopping in the shower while Louis helped Jacob with his homework, and then Harry helped Jacob tidy his bedroom while Louis showered, and finally, they were ready to head out. Harry was in a long-sleeved white top, finding that if his tattoos weren’t exposed, it was easier to slip under the radar and sneak around, whereas Louis and Jacob were in shorts and t-shirts, eager to enjoy the first signs of summer. Louis drove the three of them to the bowling alley, and Harry went and booked them in, paying while Louis sorted out bowling shoes for the three of them.

“Haz, what size?” he called as he passed Jacob his little velcro shoes, grabbing a pair of size 8’s for himself.

“12!” Harry called, and Louis’ eyes widened. He knew Harry had big feet but blimey. He winked, making Harry laugh before he sauntered over, slipping off his boots and pushing his feet into the stripey bowling shoes. “These are so going with me on tour next time,” he said, posing up a storm for Louis and Jacob who were laughing loudly. Jacob skipped ahead of them down to their lane and sat at the little keyboard. Harry stood next to him and picked Jacob up, sitting back down himself, the little boy perched on his thigh now.

Louis fetched a couple of lighter balls for Jacob and a ramp while Harry entered the names onto the screen. By the time he got back, ‘Jake’, ‘Daddy’ and ‘Hazzy’ were up on the board, and Louis knew then Jacob had had a hand in choosing the display names for them all. He helped Jacob with his first few shots but soon got the hang of it, the ball bouncing wildly on the bumpers a few times before pins fell over, and Jake’s score was soon growing. Louis wasn’t doing too badly but Harry, on the other hand, was failing dismally. Almost every ball he bowled dropped into the gutter, but he laughed it off, not at all competitive unlike Louis.

An hour later, they finished both of their games, Jacob winning the first and Louis winning the second, Harry trailing in last both times, but the looks of joy on both the Tomlinson boys faces made his loss well worth it. Harry headed off to get a printout of the scores for Jacob, posing for a photo with the starstruck girl behind the counter and signing a bit of receipt, but other than that, it was a peaceful morning and he was grateful for the privacy people were giving him, Louis and Jacob.

They stopped at a little café for lunch and ate in relative peace. Harry treated Jacob to a huge bowl of ice-cream before they left, and the little boy’s eyes widened comically when the waitress put it down in front of him. Louis loved how Harry always sought permission from him before getting Jacob anything like that, and while Jacob tucked in, he scooted closer to Harry, talking quietly now.

“You’re allowed to do stuff without asking you know, I’m not gonna object to you buying my kid an ice-cream or whatever,” he said, and Harry turned to smile at him, appreciating Louis’ words.

“Thanks Lou. I just want you to know I fully respect you as his dad, and that I know he’s your boy. It’s important he sees me respect that too, yeah? So he doesn’t try and get around you via me or whatever.” Louis chuckled and flung an arm around Harry’s shoulders, and at that point Jacob looked up, chocolate sauce smeared all around his mouth by now, fingers sticky with ice-cream.

“Wow. Just, god. Jacob Tomlinson, what a bloody mess,” Louis said, standing up now and fetching a small packet of wet wipes from his rucksack. He made quick work of cleaning up his son’s face and fingers, and while he did so, Harry cleared up the table, stacking the plates and collecting the rubbish they’d left around. He headed off to pay the bill and they left together, ready to drop Jacob off at Zayn's. Louis was a little nervous since it was the first time Harry was meeting his friend, but he knew if he was going to take him and Harry seriously as a potential couple, this was something he had to do.

The drive didn't take long as Zayn didn't live too far from Louis and Jacob, and Harry pulled up, letting both the boys out of the car, nervously loitering himself.

“Well come on then, gotta meet my best friend, right?” Louis said, sticking his head back in as he grabbed Jacob’s little overnight bag from the backseat. He watched as Harry nodded and took a breath before getting out of the car. Louis took his hand and walked up the path with him, Jacob already bashing at the door calling for Zayn. The red door swung open and Jacob leapt into Zayn’s waiting arms, and he looked up, smiling at the pair coming down the path, Jacob’s little bag hanging from Louis’ hand.

“Hey Z,” Louis said, dropping Harry’s hand to wrap Zayn up in a quick hug. “Z, this is my, um, well this is Harry. Harry, this is my best mate Zayn.”

Louis felt a little awkward then, not quite sure how to introduce Harry. They were definitely more than friends, since he certainly didn't kiss and cuddle Zayn or Stan like he did Harry, but there’d been no hint of either of them wanting to make things official just yet. Louis had spent a few nights in his bed contemplating this fact, and was frustratingly still no closer to an answer. He knew he had to talk to Harry about it at some point, but that meant finding the right time, and he hadn’t managed to yet.

“Nice to finally meet ya mate,” Zayn said, sticking out a hand for Harry to shake, which he did. They exchanged small smiles and Zayn turned around, following Jacob into the lounge, Harry and Louis following in his wake. Louis was perfectly comfortable at Zayn’s place and flopped back onto the sofa, pulling Harry down next to him. “So, got anywhere in mind for tonight?”

“Yep-” Harry cut in, stopping Louis in his tracks before he could answer. “Going to take advantage of a kid-free night and take Lou somewhere nice. Not that Pizza Hut with Jake isn’t great, but, well, you know what I mean...” Both Zayn and Louis burst into laughter, nodding as of course they understood. “So, you’re an art teacher? That’s pretty cool, think I’d have gone into teaching or something with kids if the singing thing hadn’t worked out.”

Zayn spoke at length about his job for a while, even going so far as to show Harry some of his own personal work while Louis headed off, making Jacob a cup of Ribena. He listened and smiled at how easily conversation was flowing between Zayn and Harry, pleased the pair of them were getting on. They were both important to him in different ways, and it meant a lot to him that his friends and family were accepting Harry so readily, and as just Harry, not Harry Styles, popstar.

“Jacob! We're off!” Harry called up the stairs to the little boy, and Jacob thundered back down the stairs then, throwing himself into Louis’ arms. Louis hugged him tightly and promised to text him later via Zayn, and then Jacob surprised Zayn by running over to Harry too, hugging him hard and kissing his cheek, whispering something into his ear.

“They’re close, then?” Zayn said quietly so only Louis could hear, and his best friend nodded.

“Yeah, Jacob’s taken a real shining to him, and I think it’s pretty obvious it goes both ways. Harry seems to really enjoy the whole domestic thing, he likes reading to Jake before bed, cooking with him, all the stuff most guys our age without kids would hate. I like it Z, and that scares me…”

“Go with it, Lou. It’s been, what, 3 months and he’s still around, yeah? If he didn't want to be here, he wouldn’t be.” Zayn stopped speaking as Jacob ran back to him, placing his little hand in his, tugging on it.

“Can we go and do some painting please, Uncle Zayn?” the boy asked politely, and Zayn could never resist that cheeky Tomlinson grin, whether it came from Louis or his son. He nodded, and Louis and Harry quickly hugged the boy again before leaving the house, settling back into Louis’ car and beginning the short drive home. But much to Louis’ surprise, Harry kissed him at the door and hooked his keys out of his pocket, starting the walk back to his own car.

“Oh. You not coming in for a bit, then?” Louis asked, not even bothering to mask his sadness. It would have been the first time he’d gotten to be alone with Harry, and if he was honest, it was a long time coming.

Harry winked and shook his head, opening his door and turning around to Louis. “Nope. Get ready, and dress smart okay? I’ll be back in about an hour and a half. See you later, love.” He blew Louis a kiss and drove away quickly, leaving a perplexed Louis on his doorstep. Louis went back in and took advantage of having the house to himself. He stood in his bedroom and pulled all his clothes off, wandering through to the bathroom completely naked, reaching over to turn the shower on when suddenly his phone buzzed.

He would normally leave it, but in case it was Zayn, he picked it up and soon grinned when he saw it was Harry. The pair exchanged a few texts until Louis laughed at Harry’s final message and decided to leave it there. Something about Harry’s words filled Louis with a warm feeling, and for the first time, he didn't feel too scared about what the night might bring. He brought up a playlist on his phone and it filled the room with music as he finally stepped under the warm spray, and let it engulf him.

Louis spent a while washing himself, then hummed and hahed for a while over whether or not to shave, but decided against it, instead doing his hair. He swept it all over to the side, and walked through to his bedroom with the towel slung low around his hips. He rifled through his wardrobe, trying to find something that Harry would think was smart, and pulled out a white button down shirt he hadn’t worn for a while, along with a fitted black blazer and matching trousers he’d bought in the sale a few years back.

He bit his lip, hoping it would fit, and grabbed a pair of black boxers from his drawer, along with some socks. He put all the clothes on, panicking when he realised Harry was going to be there in about half an hour. He went back to the bathroom, pleased his hair seemed to be in place, and he brushed his teeth, finally splashing his cheeks and neck in his favourite cologne Jacob (courtesy of Jay) always got him for Father’s Day.

The doorbell rang then, and Louis slipped his feet into some tan brogues before he ran down the stairs, a little out of puff as he pulled open the front door. He came to a stop as he took in the sight in front of him. Harry was there on the path, in what Louis could only describe as the most beautiful suit he’d ever seen. It was black with silky looking lapels, and he had a plain white shirt underneath it, like Louis’ but Harry’s was unbuttoned down to his mid chest. A black tie was nestled against his skin, and Louis’ eyes widened further when his eyes drifted down to Harry’s fingers, gripping onto the bottom of a small bunch of wildflowers. He’d got black painted nails. Wow.

“Gonna invite me in, then?” Harry said in a teasing tone, and Louis just nodded. Harry stepped closer and pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek, handing over the flowers which Louis took with a blush. “Um, this little girl up the street was selling bunches of flowers, so I stopped and got you some… I hope you like them?” Louis sniffed them gently, the soft floral scent filling his nose.

“I love them, thank you,” he said quietly, and smiled shyly up at Harry. “You look gorgeous, by the way. I love your nails.”

Harry blushed again as he looked down at his fingers, taking in the black polish. “Me too. I like it, so why not? Who says boys can’t paint their nails? It makes me feel good.” At his words, Louis stepped forwards and tilted his head up for a kiss. Their lips met gently, and Harry wrapped his fingers around the back of Louis’ neck, stroking at the skin, feeling goosebumps follow his touch. Harry gently pushed his tongue forwards, meeting Louis’ and they kissed for a few minutes, electricity buzzing between them. Harry hoped that tonight, Louis would give him a chance to be the man he deserved, that he’d let Harry woo him, and treat him like a gentleman.

“You look beautiful, Lou. You’re so beautiful, I’m so pleased it’s just us tonight. Wanna treat you right, spoil you.” Louis smiled shyly at that and nodded, leaving the room for a second to put the flowers in water so they wouldn’t wilt while they were out. He put the small vase in the middle of the kitchen table, and admired the flowers for a second.

“Lou?” Louis spun around and smiled just as Harry clicked a photo of him, and Louis rolled his eyes.

“Oi! Give me some warning next time, bet I look awful. My turn…. Say cheese!” Louis laughed as Harry practically smouldered into the lens and he admired the photo on his screen before he drafted up a quick Instagram post. He held the phone out so Harry could see it, and he watched Harry’s eyes flicker over it, eyebrows raising at the words Louis had typed.

“You’re telling people we’re going out? You, um, you don’t mind that being public?” Louis bit his lip and shook his head, feeling a little shy and wondering if he’d done the wrong thing, that this wasn’t what Harry wanted after all.

“Shit, sorry, I won’t do that, let me change it, it doesn’t matter-” Harry cut him off with a quick kiss and a smirk.

“Don’t say sorry, and don't you dare change it. I like that, I like that you want people to know we’re going on a date. That’s what this is, right?” Louis nodded, and Harry laughed. “Good, cos I want to post this.” He held up the screen of his own iPhone, and even Louis had to admit it was a good picture of him. “Okay, let’s post together. Ready? 3, 2, 1!"

Louis’ heart fluttered nervously as he realised the fact he was quite probably now dating Harry Styles was out there for the world to see, and undoubtedly there was going to be a lot of hate directed at him because of it. He shook it off, and took Harry’s offered hand.

“Ready?” the handsome man in front of him asked, squeezing his hand gently. He pulled Louis gently in the direction of the door, and Louis picked up his keys as they left. Although he felt nervous, there was something that felt completely right about this, and as he walked carefully behind Harry up the garden path, he felt like he might be walking towards his future, and for once, he didn't feel afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot WAIT for you all to read chapter eight.... Coming Monday!!


	9. The Way You Make Me Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry finally go on their date and then... the aftermath.

Louis slid into the passenger seat of Harry’s car and sat while they drove and chatted, arriving at a restaurant seemingly in the middle of nowhere. They were led outside to a patio area at the back. Fairy lights were strung in and around the trees dotted around, casting a romantic glow over the scenery. It was peaceful, and all that could be heard was the chirping of birds, and the low hum of conversation around them. It was perfect, and Louis thought Harry couldn't have chosen any better if he'd tried.

“I come here a lot, my Mum knows the guy who owns it and he always make sure I have privacy and stuff.” Harry held his hand across the car park and into the restaurant, but it did nothing to still Louis’ nerves. Before he knew it, they were seated at a small round table for two, a white linen tablecloth draped over it, and Harry held out Louis’ chair for him like a gentleman before he took a seat him. Harry was perusing the wine list, muttering to himself before Louis told him he didn't mind which bottle they shared. Harry pointed one out to the waiter and ran the toe of his boot up the side of Louis’ calf under the table, causing shivers to erupt over Louis’ body.

“I’m glad we’re here,” Harry said, taking Louis’ hand across the table. “I’ve wanted to take you out for so long, to make you feel special. I mean, I love our time with Jacob, of course I do, but it’s nice to be with just you, you know? Have some grown up time, just you and me.” Louis nodded, understanding exactly what Harry meant.

“I get it, I do. Believe it or not, there’s only so much talk about Power Rangers and Paw Patrol I can take too. So…” he began, nervously clearing his throat. “People are gonna know now, after those tweets and pictures. About us, I mean, being more than just friends. You really don’t mind?”

“Louis, stop. I am so ridiculously proud to tell the world we’re on a date, and I don’t care what people think. If they’re genuine fans, they’ll just be happy that I’m happy, that I’ve found someone I want to spend time with. And if they do say negative stuff, well, I don’t want them as fans anyway. I want fans like Jacob who like me for who I am and for my music, not for who I date and kiss.”

Louis blushed as Harry leaned across the table and brought their lips together in a soft and tender kiss, clearly not caring who was watching them. Harry’s words meant more to him that he could ever tell him. He grinned as Harry sat back in his seat and Louis looked down at his menu, the conversation flowing so easily between them as Harry recommended Louis a few dishes, the pair eventually choosing something each of them liked so they could share.

Just under an hour later, they pushed their plates slightly away from them, tummies full and content. Louis’ cheeks hurt from laughing so much, Harry was genuinely funny and had spent much of the night so far regaling Louis with funny anecdotes of his tour, and his career to date. They decided to split a desert since neither could eat a whole one, and Louis felt warm at the shared gesture, offering an intimacy between them he’d been feeling all night.

Their cake was placed between them on the table, and they reached for the silver spoons on the tablecloth, each taking a small piece and eating it carefully. Louis watched Harry’s other hand fiddling with the stem of his wine glass and tentatively wrapped his own fingers over Harry’s, laying their now clasped hands on the table top. Harry looked up at Louis beneath his lashes and smiled tenderly over at him, running his thumb backwards and forwards.

"God, that was delicious," Louis said, leaning back and rubbing his full tummy. "No way I could have eaten a whole one by myself though."

"We make a good team," Harry agreed, making Louis smile coyly at him across the table. The restaurant was winding down now, most of the other patrons had left and Louis and Harry were one of only a few couples left. "Thank you for coming out with me, for taking a chance on me again Lou."

"You're worth taking a chance on, Harry."

Louis didn't fight it when Harry paid for the meal, well aware somewhere like this was well out of his pay range, but he was mentally plotting something he could do for Harry that would be more within his grasp. They sat for a little while after paying the bill, sipping at their glasses of wine, hands still linked across the table. The night was drawing on, and Louis knew they’d soon have to make a move. He was starting to feel nervous now, butterflies fluttering around in his belly, and he nervously tapped his feet on the floor.

“You okay?” Harry questioned, sensing Louis’ anxiety. Louis just nodded, and watched as Harry stood up, shrugging on his own blazer and then walked behind Louis to help him do the same. He politely thanked each of the restaurant staff, clutching Louis’ hand in his own as they made their way back out into the cool evening air. It was July, so it wasn’t cold, but compared to the patio area with its giant warmers dotted around, it felt much cooler and a shiver ran through Louis. Harry stopped and moved Louis in front of him. His hands were resting on his hips and he looked down at him with serious eyes.

“Come home with me?” Harry whispered softly, looking so earnestly at Louis it made his heart skip a beat. Harry leaned over slightly then and kissed Louis’ lips carefully, Louis’ hands on his chest, sneaking slowly under the fabric of his shirt, making contact with Harry’s warm, soft skin. Harry bit back a moan at the touch, and used his hands on Louis’ hips to pull them closer together. All of a sudden, though, Louis stepped back and removed Harry’s touch from his body.

“What is this, Harry? I mean, I know what I want this to be, I do, but-” He let out a shaky breath, suddenly feeling very exposed, like Harry could see right through him. “What do you want from me?”

“You,” Harry said softly, quietly, reaching out to take Louis’ hand, lightly linking their fingers. “I just want you, Lou. Whatever you want of me, you can have. I’m, well, I’m yours.”

“My boyfriend? Because that’s what I want, Harry. If we're gonna do this, I want to know that I’m yours, and you’re mine. No games. I have Jacob, and I don’t have time-”

Harry raised a finger to Louis’ rambling lips, silencing him gently. “No games. No playing around. I want you, I want to be in yours and Jacob’s lives.”

“Then be my boyfriend, Harry. Say you’ll be my boyfriend, please.” Louis almost hated that it sounded like he was begging Harry, but he needed to know before he let this go any further that things were solid between them, that he wasn’t imagining the pull he had towards Harry, that every moment he spent with Harry left him wanting and yearning for more.

“Nothing I want more,” Harry muttered as he pulled Louis into a deeper kiss, forgetting where they were. They pulled apart a few seconds later, panting, Louis grabbing onto the waistband of Harry’s trousers, gazing deep into his eyes. “Now, come home with me, boyfriend of mine?”

Louis couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his features and he nodded as the pair of them ran across the car park together, hand in hand like a couple of teenagers. Harry unlocked the car as they approached and they slipped inside, and Louis couldn’t resist pulling Harry in for another deep kiss, their tongues tangling, hands roaming around. Harry chuckled into a kiss and slowly pulled away, extracting Louis’ hands from where they’d ended up in his hair.

“Mmm, Lou, save it for home, yeah?” Louis whined but nodded, belting himself in and willing Harry to get home as soon as possible. He was a little nervous about seeing Harry’s place for the first time, but it felt fitting he would be going there as Harry’s boyfriend, staying over at Harry’s house, sharing his bed. He stared out of the window as they drove, a comfortable silence descending over the pair of them as they tried to calm themselves a bit. Half an hour later, Harry pulled up at a small set of gates which creaked open and he pulled up outside a modest yet expensive looking home.

It was a detached property, not too fancy looking, and somehow Louis knew it was perfect for Harry, that he had chosen exactly what he wanted, not just bought something because of the value or the esteem of it. They both let themselves out of the car, the only sound in the street their feet on the white gravel. Louis headed in the direction of the front door, and slid a hand in Harry’s as he fiddled with a key, pushing open the wooden door to reveal a cosy and homely entrance hall. Louis’ eyes raked around and Harry reached around behind him, pushing it shut and sliding the safety chain into place.

“Welcome home,” he said softly, turning Louis around so he was facing the rest of the house and wrapped his arms around his waist. Louis felt Harry’s chin come to rest on his shoulder, and he started shuffling forwards, keen to explore Harry’s home. He was directed towards the living room, and Harry flicked a few switches, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow. It was very, well, normal. The most pleasing thing to Louis was that he felt like he’d be able to bring Jacob back here and not worry about his little hurricane smashing some priceless piece of art or wrecking a designer sofa with sticky handprints. Harry dropped his arms from Louis’ waist as he walked over to a turntable on a small desk, rifling through his records while Louis took himself off to the kitchen., and soon soft music was filling the house.

It was clear this was probably Harry’s favourite room in the house. There was a shelf on one wall packed full of cookery books, old and new, and appliances were dotted around the worktops. They looked used though, not as if they were just there for decorative purposes, and Louis filled the kettle, flicking it on as he sat down at the large wooden table at one end. Soft music filled the house and Harry wandered back in, hooking his fingers under Louis’ chin to tilt his face up for a kiss.

He busied himself making tea, and when it was done, he called for Louis to follow him back into the sitting room where he settled on one of his huge squashy grey sofas. Louis felt a little restrained in his smart gear, and nervously fiddled with his blazer.

“Um, do you have something I can change into Haz?” Harry nodded and darted upstairs, returning a few minutes later with a pair of Adidas trousers and a t-shirt, and the same thing for himself. They stripped off in front of each other, throwing their suits onto an empty armchair and pulling on their other clothes. Louis could feel Harry’s gaze burning into him and before he could sit himself down, Harry grabbed him by the hips and pulled him down onto his lap. Louis landed with a thud on Harry’s thighs and grinned at him.

“This is nice,” Harry murmured, stroking one hand up under the hem of Louis’ t-shirt, grazing Louis’ skin. “I haven’t brought anyone here in so long. It’s like, if I do, I’m exposing that part of myself so I haven’t wanted to. But with you, I want that, I want you to see everything I have, every part of me I keep hidden from everyone else. I’ve wanted to bring you here for so long. Jake too, actually. I think I’d quite like the sound of him running about the place.” The way Harry had so easily and honestly dropped Jacob into the conversation made Louis feel fuzzy and warm and he couldn’t resist turning to kiss his boyfriend. Boyfriend. He liked the way that sounded in his head.

“I’d love to bring him here, maybe we could come for dinner or something one night when we’re on holiday?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded eagerly.

“You can both stay over too, if you want. I’ve got a couple of spare rooms, and I, um, I got Jacob a Batman duvet set the other day when I was out and about in case we ever got here?” Louis stilled for a moment, and Harry panicked, wondering if he’d overstepped. “Oh shit, if that’s too much, I can take it back, I just thought-”

He was stopped by Louis’ lips on his, and he moved away from the side of the sofa as he felt Louis wriggling around, trying to straddle his lap. Once he was there, Harry slid his hands under Louis’ top again and stroked at his back, running his hands over the soft skin. It wasn’t the first time he’d touched Louis, they’d shared a bed enough times and spooned so Harry knew exactly how Louis felt. But this? This was the first time they’d touched with intention, and Harry’s heart started pounding as he realised this might finally be leading somewhere.

Their kisses became more desperate, and Louis was rocking back and forth now, their arousal becoming apparent to both men, and Harry groaned at the sensation. It had been too long since he’d been with another man, and since he’d met Louis, he hadn’t even contemplated anything with anyone else. Louis was what he wanted, and he hoped now Louis might be ready for more. His body seemed like that was the case.

“Harry, Harry, stop-” Louis mumbled then, and Harry slid his hands out, letting them rest on his hips at the waistband of the joggers. “Sorry, I just, god. This is so much. I want you, I really do. But I’m not ready to have sex, not yet. I’m sorry if that’s-"

“It’s fine,” Harry reassured him, grabbing Louis’ hands with his own. “We can take this at your pace, however you want it. I think you know I want you, Lou, and I’ll wait as long as it takes.” Louis kissed him again then, his fingers wrapped up in Harry’s curls.

“I’m not saying I don’t wanna do something tonight…” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, and smirked as he pulled back. “Can we, um, go to your room?” Harry answered by standing up, keeping Louis’ legs wrapped around his waist and heading for the stairs. “I won’t drop you, Lou. Trust me?” He stopped as suddenly that sentence seemed to carry much more weight than he had intended it to.

“I do, Harry. I really do.” He rested his head against Harry’s neck as he was carried upstairs, and slowly, he was placed onto Harry’s bed. The room was big and airy, light grey walls with dark blue bedding and white furniture gave it a clean modern feel, and it had a certain Harry smell about it. Louis propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Harry who stood at the foot of the bed, nervously playing with his rings as he waited for Louis to make the first move.

Louis climbed off the bed and stood in front of Harry, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. Harry raised his arms, letting Louis pull it off, letting his palms come to rest on his firm torso. He moved them about gently, rubbing over his nipples, tracing down the tattoos that littered his skin, finally pressing his lips to the birds on his collarbones. As he kissed him, he let his hands glide down to the waistband of Harry’s joggers, dipping just inside and resting there for a moment until he looked at Harry, red cheeked and waiting.

“Is this okay - I just need, I mean-”

“Louis, it’s fine, whatever you want is fine. I’m yours, Lou.” Louis nodded slightly at that, and grasped the material of Harry’s joggers, pushing it down his firm thighs until it pooled at his ankles. Now only the thin cotton of Harry’s tight boxers separated them, and Louis’ breath hitched as Harry’s own hands were tugging at the strings of the joggers he had on. Harry sent him a questioning look, and Louis responded by grabbing Harry’s wrists and pushing them. Harry moaned and kissed Louis as he pushed his trousers off, followed by pulling his t-shirt over his head.

Louis felt a little out of it already, he hadn’t been this undressed with a man in a long, long time, and the fact it was Harry made it all the more poignant. He couldn’t quite believe that he was here with the man he was slowly falling for, that he was finally letting his guard down with someone, and that, actually, he was okay with it. He decided being brave had worked so far for him tonight, and took a step back, nervously grasping at the elastic of his underwear. Harry’s gaze was locked on him, and his eyes drifted down as Louis took his boxers off, kicking them to the side, leaving him naked in front of Harry.

Harry said nothing for a moments until - “You’re so fucking beautiful Lou, can I - god, can I kiss you?” Louis nodded and felt his body respond as Harry got closer, hands on his cheeks as he pulled him into a kiss. They kissed slowly, reverently until Louis felt Harry’s hands moving south, coming to a rest at the base of Louis’ spine, fingers clearly clamouring for more. “Can I touch you Lou, please let me touch-”

Louis groaned as Harry’s hand stroked downwards until his palms cupped his cheeks. Harry used that to pull their bodies flush, and Louis hurriedly brought his hands around, pushing Harry’s boxers down too, both fully bare together for the first time. Louis tugged Harry’s hair then, getting his attention and motioning towards the bed with his eyes. Harry’s pupils were blown by now and he nodded, both getting on Harry’s huge bed and laying opposite each other.

“Can’t believe we’re doing this, wanted you like this for so long,” Harry admitted, stroking up and down the curve of Louis’ waist, admiring his body properly for the first time. He had a toned chest, a small scattering of hair between his pecs and a flat stomach, although there was a slight bulge around his belly button Harry already loved. His gaze dipped to Louis’ tanned thighs, curvy and thick, shorter than Harry’s but somehow perfect. “Tell me what you want Lou, what I can do to you.”

“I wanna touch you,” Louis whispered, a blush setting on his cheeks, and Harry thought he’d never looked more beautiful.

“You can,” Harry whispered back, his own heart pounding at the thought of Louis’ hands on his body, touching, caressing his skin. He met Louis’ lips for a short second and shivered as Louis trailed his fingertips down Harry’s side, across his stomach and eventually dipped them down until they grazed his hard cock. Harry shut his eyes, losing himself in the feeling until Louis whispered at him.

“Look at me Harry, need you to look at me so I know this is real, that we’re real,” Louis mumbled as he slowly moved his fingers up and down, enjoying the feel of how Harry and his body were responding to his touch. He encircled Harry’s cock with his hand then and began to slide it up and down with a firmer grip, drawing moans from Harry as he pushed forwards, searching for more. “You’re, god, you’re perfect, don’t know what I did - so happy I found you-”

“Shit - you feel amazing love, don’t stop, don’t ever stop-” Harry rumbled, and used his own hands to pull Louis closer, kissing him deeply as Louis continued to stroke him. It was all too soon that Harry felt the familiar bubble of his orgasm in his belly, and he grabbed Louis’ hand for a moment, making the older man open his eyes and look at him, concern lighting them up. “No, no it’s fine, I’m just, fuck, I’m gonna come if you don’t stop for a minute, and I don’t want this to be over yet.”

Louis smiled and nodded in understanding, kissing Harry again. “I, um, I-” Louis stuttered over his words, taking in a quick breath and releasing it, steeling himself to ask for what he wanted. “I want you to touch me too, Harry.”

“Thank fuck for that-” Harry said and wasted no time in taking Louis’ hard cock in his own hand as he let Louis touch his again. They kissed, free hands wrapped in each other’s hair as they stroked each other, slow and teasing. Harry was using pre-cum to make his glide easier, and he thumbed over the head, back and forth until Louis’ hips were bucking up into his touch, chasing the feeling again. “You close baby?” Louis just nodded, squeezing Harry’s own cock again then and he began to stroke faster.

As Harry felt his orgasm get nearer, Louis suddenly released his cock and shuffled around, pushing Harry so his back was on the bed, and Harry watched with wide eyes as Louis climbed on top of him, straddling his bare thighs. Louis was fully exposed to him now, his impressive cock jutting out, resting on Harry’s torso as Louis bent down, capturing Harry’s lips in a kiss, brushing their lengths together making both men groan.

“Fuck, touch me Lou, please-” Harry begged, and his eyes fluttered shut as Louis finally returned his hand to Harry, stroking again, a little faster now. Something about this felt so right, having Louis naked in his bed, touching him everywhere. He took Louis in his hand as well, and the pair just stared at each other, panting heavily, desperately seeking their release. Harry lost control first, shouting Louis’ name as he came, still trying to keep his rhythm on Louis, wanting him to reach his high too.

“Fuck, you look amazing, come for me baby-” he mumbled out, in a bit of a haze but still trying to focus on his amazing boyfriend. Louis screwed up his eyes as he came all over Harry, but Harry was mesmerised and couldn’t tear his eyes away from how phenomenal Louis looked as he orgasmed. His back was arched, his chest coated in a sheen of sweat, a scream bitten back in his throat.

Harry slowly released Louis’ cock, and all of a sudden, he had his arms full of his boyfriend, collapsed on top of him, breathing erratically. Their torsos were sticky with their come, but Harry didn't care. He smiled to himself, running his hands up and down Louis’ warm back, trying to calm him down. Their nakedness only added to the intimacy, and he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening.

A few minutes later, a dazed looking Louis lifted his head and smiled softly at Harry. “Well, that was worth the wait,” he said through a soft chuckle, and brushed Harry’s fringe out of his eyes, kissing him slowly and carefully. “I’m really happy we did that, Harry. You, um, you mean a lot to me, you know.”

“I think you’ve known for a while you mean a lot to me too, you and Jacob,” Harry said honestly, willing to lay it all on the line now. “I’m not afraid to tell you that you’re what I want, Lou.” They kissed and cuddled for a while until Harry eventually dragged them both out of bed and into his huge shower. They washed next to each other, sharing quick kisses and touches under the spray before getting into bed together, Louis borrowing some boxers from Harry before they both fell asleep in each other’s arms, utterly happy and content.

*****

“Stop! I look awful!” Louis groaned as Harry tried to take a photo of him in the dim light of the morning. He covered his face, and suddenly Harry flipped them both, pulling Louis on top of him and taking a photo from underneath him. He grinned at the screen, clearly liking what he saw and Louis smiled coyly, bending down to kiss his boyfriend.

“You don’t, you’re gorgeous,” Harry said, tapping away at his phone making Louis pout and bounce up and down quickly to get his attention back on himself. Harry peered around the phone and cocked an eyebrow. “Stop it. You’re too much of a tease, Tomlinson.”

“You love it, Styles,” Louis retorted back and hauled himself up, heading for the door. “Now, I need food. Feed me, boyfriend.” He stumbled downstairs to the kitchen, Harry hot on his heels, and he pulled him against him, back against the counter as they kissed for a few minutes. “Mmm, you kiss me so good.”

“Um, Lou”? Harry suddenly looked nervous and cleared his throat. “Can I post this?” He handed Louis his phone and tried to gauge Louis’ reaction from his face. A flicker of uncertainty swept over Louis’ face as he handed back the device, and hopped up on the counter, pulling Harry between his legs.

“You know what this will mean, right Harry? They’re gonna know we’re together, that I’m your boyfriend, and well, that you’re gay. I know you’ve never hidden it but this takes away all the doubt…”

“I don’t care,” Harry said emphatically. “I’m proud of you, I’m proud you’re my boyfriend and I want the world to know. Plus, if I do this, it’s on my terms. I’m ready to be myself, you’ve made me want to be me, Lou. I’m stronger because of you.” He pecked Louis’ lips and felt Louis nod into the kiss. “Really? Okay.” He tapped send on the tweet and quickly shut the phone down, grabbing a pan as he flicked on the kettle. “Done. Wow. That feels good. Breakfast?”

Louis just chuckled from his position on the worktop and watched as Harry bustled around his kitchen, preparing them what looked like a breakfast feast compared the usual coco pops or toast that Louis offered everytime Harry stayed at his. They talked as they ate at the table together, legs linked underneath it as they planned out the rest of the day. Zayn had plans for the afternoon, so they knew they only had the morning together before they headed off to pick up Jacob.

They decided on a walk, and linked hands as they strolled around the local park together. It was another glorious late July day, and despite the early hour, it was warm already and plenty of families were setting up in the park. Children were running around with footballs, parents pushed pushchairs with sleeping children down the wide paths, and a few brave youngsters were already in the splash zone, clad in trunks or swimming costumes, shrieking as the cool water hit their bodies.

“I miss Jacob,” Harry said suddenly, looking at Louis’ surprised expression. “What? Why is that such a shocking thing for me to say?”

“It’s not, it’s just, wow, I love hearing you say that. I miss him too, but I am glad we got a chance to be alone. That we’ve sorted things out, made it official.” Louis flung his head around as a few fans called Harry’s name, and he went to drop his hand but Harry refused to let him, squeezing tightly and waving. They carried on walking, chatting about Jacob before Harry pulled Louis over to a bench, sitting them down close together.

“Lou, I want to ask you something. I want you to know you can say no, that I won’t be upset, that it won’t change anything between us if you do. But I have to ask.” Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry, curious now.

“Harry, you’re worrying me spit it out love,” Louis laughed, grabbing Harry’s hand in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. “You can say anything to me, you should know that.”

“I do, I know that, of course. But this is different, I just don’t want you to think this is moving too fast, or I’m being too heavy. You can tell me Lou-”

“Fucking hell Harry, tell me!”

“Alright!” Harry shifted on the bench, swivelling around until he could look at Louis. “You obviously know I’m going on promo to America for a couple of weeks in August.” He paused and Louis nodded. They’d spoken about it before, and how Harry was excited to meet some of his American fans again after they’d been so nice for his tour. “Well, I was wondering if you and Jake wanted to come with me? I’ll cover all the costs, just thought it might be nice to be together… I want you by my side Lou, wherever I go.”

Louis was not saying anything and Harry swallowed, feeling perhaps he’d made a huge mistake, that this was too much too soon.

“I just - I’ve just found you Lou, and made you mine. I’m not ready to say goodbye again, not yet.”

Harry swallowed back his emotion and slowly Louis glanced back up at him. Nothing was said for a moment, instead it felt like electricity was crackling between them. Louis’ mind was running a mile a minute, trying to understand what it was Harry was saying. This was probably the most romantic moment of his life - the man he was falling for begging him to follow him halfway across the world, with his son nonetheless. Harry didn't want to let go as much as Louis didn't want him to.

“I want that, I do. I mean, we’re off work and school, and I’ve never had the opportunity to take Jake on a plane, he’d love it…”

“And you? You’d love it? Coming to America with me?” Louis smiled and nodded, laughing when Harry let out an excited squeak he would deny later on.

“I really would. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks, Harry. Nothing about this, about us has been normal, right? I mean, you’re a popstar and I’m just a dad from Donny-”

“Louis, stop it. Stop saying that like that’s all you are. You’re so much more, right? You’re an amazing dad and a great role model to Jake, you’re a brilliant son, friend… and now boyfriend. Just don’t keep saying those things because you’re so much more than what you see… I wish you could see yourself as I do.” Louis blushed at Harry’s outpouring of affection and compliments. He stood up and stretched out a hand, letting Louis pull himself to his feet, stumbling into Harry’s body.

“So, is that a yes?”

“By your side, right?”

Harry linked their fingers then and nodded. “By my side.”


	10. Father and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Harry have a day of fun together while Louis works...

“Look, are you sure about this Harry? I can just not go in, tell them I couldn’t find-”

“Don’t you bloody dare!” Harry said suddenly, looking a little cross by now. “Look, I told you I don’t mind, I offered, Lou. Now go or you’re gonna be late. Don’t forget your lunch.”

Louis blushed as Harry handed over the little packed lunch he’d lovingly made for him that morning and he shoved it into his rucksack, still looking nervously at Harry. “Right. Well, call me if you need anything. I mean it, my phone will be on.”

“Louis. Do you trust me? Yes or no.” Louis bit his lip and nodded, sliding the rucksack up onto one shoulder while trying to ram his feet into his Vans. “Good. Then we’ll be fine. See you tonight, text me when you’re on your way home, yeah? Now give me a kiss and get going.” Harry pecked his lips and gave Louis a tight hug, walking through to the hallway with him.

“Jake! I’m leaving now love!” Jacob came thundering down the stairs and jumped at Louis, cuddling him tightly before kissing him. “Please, please, please be a good boy for Harry or he’ll probably never want to look after you ever again. Okay?”

“I promise Daddy! Me and Hazzy are gonna have so much fun, I’ve made a list upstairs in my notepad of fun stuff!” Louis raised his eyebrows at Harry who tried to look excited, and he bit back a laugh.

“Alright then. Well I’ll be back for dinner, have fun boys.” He bent over and kissed them both again before heading out of the door. Harry picked Jacob up and put him on his hip, the pair of them standing in the doorway, waving as Louis drove away, tooting the horn as he sped off down the street. Louis had been called in to work by his class teacher, wanting to get the planning for the next academic year done and out of the way. Louis had been keen until he’d realised Jay was working, his sisters had gone to stay with their dad, and Zayn was back in Bradford visiting his family so there was no-one to have Jacob for the day.

Until Harry stepped up, that is. He’d listened to Louis moan for ages about what to do, and when he suggested he take the boy for the day, Louis looked at him like he’d grown a new head. Harry worked on him and eventually Louis agreed. It wasn’t that he didn't trust Harry, not at all, he did. But Jacob had a tendency to be a pickle when his dad wasn’t around, and he just hoped it wasn’t going to put Harry off in any way, not when they’d just gotten together and sorted things out between them,

Still, Harry had been eager and had talked Louis through his plans, even though it seemed Jacob clearly had his own ideas. They’d told Jacob a few days ago about going on holiday to America with Harry and he was very excited, and Harry had managed to persuade Louis to let him take Jacob shopping for a few holiday clothes, which they were going to do today.

Jacob dragged Harry up the stairs once they’d shut the front door, and sat him down on the bed, clambering onto his lap with his little notebook in his hand.

“Okay Hazzy, here is my list. It’s very fun cos we need to have fun and not do boring stuff like hoovering and cleaning.” Harry nodded with a serious expression, hoping he wouldn’t burst into laughter at Jacob’s honesty. “Read it please.”

_HAZZY AND JACOB’S DAY OF FUN WITHOUT DADDY (I still love daddy but he is at werk)_

  * _Have ice creem with sprinkls and choclit sots_


  * _Play football in the gardon_


  * _Pack my bag for amerryca_


  * _Play snayks and ladders_


  * _Listen to harry singing on my ipod and play only angel_ _2 no_ _3 no_ _4 times cos its my faverit_


  * _Do danceing to keewee in my bedroom_


  * _Buy daddy a presont becos i miss him_



Harry smiled softly at the list and nodded. “Awesome list, Jake. I definitely think we can do these things. But I’ve got a few ideas too, so can we do a bit of both?” Jacob nodded and climbed down, putting his notepad back on his little desk and putting his pencils away in the pencil case he used for school. Harry made his bed while Jacob tidied up the few toys on the floor, and together they headed downstairs. Harry put the TV on for Jacob while he washed up the breakfast things, glancing in the fridge to see what was in there for lunch before he went back through, sitting down on the floor next to Jacob.

“So what first then?” Harry asked, and Jacob dragged his attention away from Power Rangers for a moment to consider Harry’s question.

“Ummmm, can we play Snakes and Ladders first?” Harry nodded and Jacob jumped up, dashing off to get the game from the shelf in their little dining room, carrying it back carefully so he didn't drop the box and lose the pieces. They played two rounds, Jacob winning both before he got bored. They packed up and headed into the garden, keen to make the most of the sunshine. After half an hour of running around with the ball, Jacob had gone inside to go to the loo so Harry pulled his phone, texting Louis to tell him it was all going well so far.

 

 

Harry chuckled at their exchange, trying to ignore the twitch in his trousers at the thought of rewarding Louis when Jacob ran back out, a little baseball cap on his head to protect his eyes from the sun. Harry was suddenly a bit stunned by just how much Jacob looked like his dad in that moment, and he paused, making the little boy frown in confusion.

“Why you looking at me funny, Hazzy?” he asked, face scrunched up as he looked down at himself, checking everything was where it should be. He ran over to the ball and kicked it back to Harry, who came back to earth. “Come on, I’m gonna beat you and then you have to take me out for ice-cream!” Harry laughed and they played for another hour, until it got too hot to run around safely in the sun. Harry led them both indoors and make big glasses of squash, sitting together at the table as they drank thirstily.

“So I thought we could go out to town soon, get some bits for America?” Harry said as he drained the last of his orange squash, catching Jacob’s glass as it wobbled on the table. “Careful, love. Daddy said we can choose you some new summer clothes, and I thought we could get you a suitcase all of your own too?” Jacob beamed and nodded eagerly, running upstairs and returning with his little list and a green felt pen. He stuck his tongue out as he sounded out his writing, ticking off the few things they’d done.

“Hazzy, can I take a picture of you?” Jacob suddenly asked, and Harry nodded, opening the camera app on his phone and smiling at it as Jacob wafted it around. Harry gave him a few pointers, telling him to hold it steady, and after what felt like a million photos but was probably on thirty or so, Jacob held the phone up to his face, swiping through. “Ooh, you have photos of Daddy!”

Harry had never moved so fast than when he reached to snatch the phone out of Jacob’s hands, hoping to god he hadn’t seen some of the pictures they’d taken of each other the other night in bed. Thankfully, it seemed he hadn’t got that far, instead landing on a safe selfie they’d taken at the park and he scrolled back to the ones Jacob had taken. “My turn then, smile love! Bet you look cuter than me, come on!” Jacob pulled a silly face and Harry took a few photos, sending one to Louis before opening his Twitter app and posting something.

 

 

An hour later, they were in Harry’s car, Jacob buckled in to the spare car seat that seemed to live permanently in the back of Harry’s car now, something Harry had to admit he liked. There was something nice about driving around when he wasn’t with Louis and Jacob, and glancing into the backseat to see a constant reminder of the two of them. He was aware he was probably getting in a bit deep already, but honestly, he didn't care. He knew how he felt and he wasn’t afraid to show it.

He pulled up in a car park and lifted Jacob down from his seat, holding his hand as they went to fetch a parking ticket. He helped Jacob carefully slot the coins into the machine and then jogged back, putting it on the dashboard before hooking his sunglasses on and strolling towards the shops with Jacob. He’d chosen not to bring any security with him today, and he hoped he wouldn’t live to regret that decision.

Their hands swung between them as they walked, Jacob talking animatedly about the things he had to look forward to when he got back to school and how excited he was to be going into Year 3. Harry in return told him all about America and the things he would be getting up to for work while Jacob and Louis explored California, and that there would be a few surprises too along the way. Jacob had looked excited at that, and Harry guided him into Gap Kids. They wandered around for a little bit, Harry grabbing a few things for Jacob to try on, and the little boy happily modelled them, Harry sending Louis a few pictures along the way.

“Hazzy I want a pretty shirt like yours,” Jacob said, pointing at Harry’s blue hawaiian shirt. Harry laughed and browsed through the rails, pulling out a similar one that Jacob loved. It wasn’t until they go to the till that Harry realised exactly how much stuff he’d bought for Jacob, and when the four bags of clothes were handed over, he suddenly hoped Louis wouldn’t mind him spending so much on his son. Regardless, they headed out to the next few shops, and bought a few more things, including a funky blue suitcase for Jacob which he insisted on wheeling around the town with him much to Harry’s amusement.

At nearly one, Jacob started whining he was hungry, and Harry led them both into a small restaurant, sitting Jacob on a booster seat before sitting opposite him.

“Please may I have a strawberry milkshake?” Jacob asked the waitress, and Harry nodded when she looked over at him for confirmation, doing a double take when she realised who he was.

“I’ll take a sparkling water please, and we’ll have a ham and cheese sandwich kids box please, and I’ll take a chicken salad panini, thank you.” The waitress took the menus from him and darted away, cheeks aflame as she hadn’t managed to say a word since she’d clocked Harry. Louis phoned at that point, and Jacob chatted on the phone until their lunch came, telling his dad he had to go because if he didn't, people might think he didn't like his food and take it away. He said it so seriously that Harry had to laugh, and he chatted with Louis for a minute, ensuring him Jacob was behaving perfectly before hanging up to eat lunch with Jacob.

“Do you want a crisp, Hazzy?” Jacob said, holding out his little hand clutching a bag of Monster Munch. Harry wasn’t especially keen but didn't want to upset Jacob so took one and chewed it quickly, offering Jacob one of his own Salt and Vinegar ones in return. Harry liked the ease of his time with Jacob, how much the little boy seemed to enjoy time with him, even without Louis around. More than that, it just felt right. He enjoyed playing this part, and was so happy things were going so well after such a short amount of time.

“Excuse me, I’m really sorry to interrupt,” a young girl said, nervously standing next to Harry. “I was wondering if I could have a quick picture with you please?” Harry looked over at Jacob who was busy peeling his little orange, so Harry nodded, and held out the phone to take a selfie of the pair.

“Would you mind not putting it on social media until later? It’s just if you do, people will come and then I won’t be able to walk around like we have been.”

“Of course, I’ll post it tomorrow,” the girl said, nodding and smiling. “Your stepson is super cute, by the way.” She walked off and Harry felt a little stunned by the term she’d used to describe Jacob. Harry helped Jacob clean up the mess he’d made and paid the bill, sitting back in his chair while Jacob finished off his milkshake. He gathered up their pile of bags, and Jacob slid up the handle of his suitcase and they set off, hand in hand again, back to the car park.

“Hazzy, stop!” Jacob said, stopping in the middle of the street, nearly pulling Harry over as he yanked on his arm. “We didn't get Daddy anything, he’s going to be sad if he doesn’t have something.” Harry thought it was so sweet Jacob was thinking about his daddy, and thought for a moment about what they could get Louis. He had a brainwave and spun the pair of them around, marching them back in the direction they’d just come from.

They arrived at their destination and Harry grinned down at the little boy by his side. “Okay buddy. How about a nice bag for Daddy at work? He uses that rucksack at the moment, doesn’t he? Do you think he’d like a nice new one?”

“Yeah Hazzy, like Uncle Zayn’s! He always says he likes Uncle Zayn’s bag.” Jacob was jumping up and down now in excitement and practically dragged in through the door over to a display of leather satchels. Harry left go of his hand for a few minutes, letting him walk around the store, trying to find something like Zayn’s bag. “HAZZY! I FOUND IT!”

Harry caught the eye of the lady behind the till and grinned back at her, following the sound of Jacob who was clutching a leather satchel in his hands. It was dark blue and had silver clasps, and looked perfect. It looked professional, but not too dressy since he knew Louis wasn’t that type of person. “Zayn has a black one but Daddy says his favourite colour is blue and green. They don’t have a blue and green stripey one so I think this one.”

Harry nodded and let Jacob carry it up to the till, trying to wear it across his body much to Harry’s amusement since it was far too long. He paid and took the posh bag from the lady, helping Jacob put the bag inside. Jacob then insisted on putting that bag into his suitcase so Harry quickly organised that, feeling a bit worn out by now.

They eventually made it home and Harry got all of the bags out of the boot while Jacob ran upstairs, desperate all of a sudden for the toilet. Harry shoved them all onto the floor in the hallway, intending to clear them up in a bit. He walked through to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle, grabbing a beaker from the cupboard for Jacob and making him a glass of squash which he set onto the table.

The little boy came back in and thanked Harry for the drink before gulping it down thirstily. “Thank you for taking me shopping Hazzy,” he said, swinging his little begs back and forth under the table. “My feet ache now though, I think my feet have grown and my shoes are too small.” He furrowed his little brow as he picked up his foot in both hands, inspecting it like he’d be able to gauge if it had grown or not just by looking at it. Harry chuckled to himself and pulled out his phone, smiling when he saw a new message from Louis.

 

 

He pocketed the phone and followed Jacob upstairs to his room, stopping at the doorway in shock when he saw the mess already over the floor. Stuffed toys, lego, wooden blocks and books were strewn all over the floor like a tornado had just whirled through the room and Harry swallowed heavily.

“Um, were you planning on tidying up this mess?” Harry asked with a cocked eyebrow, Jacob looking up guiltily at him from the floor. “Right, Daddy’s home in an about an hour so we have to have it clear by then, okay?”

Jacob nodded and looked up at him again. “Wanna play with me Hazzy?” Harry grinned and settled himself cross legged on the floor, accepting a bear that Jacob sat into his lap, pulling the plastic tea set over from where it sat on the little table to the side of the room where Jacob had written his list earlier on. They played at tea parties for a while, Jacob telling Harry it was one of his favourite things to do with Louis when they had time, and that made Harry felt ridiculously endeared towards the pair of boys he was rapidly falling for.

 

 

*****

Louis sighed as he parked the car in the driveway behind Harry’s own. He figured he wouldn’t being blocked in as Louis was planning on Harry staying the night anyway. He pulled himself out the car, stretching out his back, sore from hours of being hunched over the desk next to the class teacher he worked with, planning out the next academic year. Still, it was done now and he could look forward to his holiday with Harry and Jacob.

He opened the door and chuckled to himself as he heard Only Angel being blasted through the house at top volume. He looked down at the pile of shopping bags leant against the wall and rolled his eyes at the multitude of bags, realising Harry might have splurged a little more than he had planned on. He stepped carefully over the bags and hung his jacket up on the pegs in the hallway, hearing the track change to Kiwi.

He crept quietly up the stairs as he realised Harry and Jacob probably weren’t even aware he was home yet. The music got louder as he got nearer to Jacob’s room, and thanks to the layout of the house, Louis could stand on the top stair and see straight into Jacob’s room since the door was wide open. What he saw made his heart stop for a moment, and he wished he could memorise every second of what he was watching, knowing he would want to relive it over and over in his mind forever.

“I’M HAVING YOUR BABY! IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! SING IT LOUDER HAZZY!” came Jacob’s little screeching voice, and Louis chuckled to himself. Jacob was bouncing around his bedroom, one of his toy microphones in his hand, screaming out the lyrics to Kiwi in a terribly out of tune voice, and Harry had one of Louis’ hairbrushes in his other hand, singing into it and dancing next to Jacob.

“And now he's all over me, it's like I paid for it… It's like I paid for it, I'm gonna pay for this.. OWWWW!” Louis raised his eyebrows as Harry belted out the changed lyrics, both boys bopping around the room now through the guitar solo, Jacob crazily strumming at his air guitar, and Louis had never seen his son so happy. He stayed silent until the song finished, and once he had, he started applauding, walking into the room.

“Oh crap-” Harry said, chucking the hairbrush back onto Jacob’s bed and running his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face. “How much of that did you see?”

“The whole thing,” Louis said with a smirk. “I mean, that was some sort of special dancing Styles. Jacob on the other hand… you were born to be a star, love.” Harry stuck his hands on his hips then and made a shocked face while Jacob laughed loudly. He ran over to his iPod and hit play again on the track and this time, all three men danced and sang along together, the smile on Jacob’s face worth every minute of embarrassment Louis felt.

“...it’s like I paid for it… you’re gonna pay for this,” Louis half sang and half mumbled into Harry’s ear as they danced together, their hips swaying against each others, and he watched as Harry’s eyes flickered quickly, a flash of something in them that Louis liked, making him will the evening away until he could take Harry apart. They were all worn out by the time the song finished, and Harry headed downstairs to put the lasagna he’d made earlier into the oven to reheat.

They ate together at the kitchen table, Harry heaping their plates high with food and although Louis hadn't been too hungry, he developed a sudden appetite when he saw the dish Harry had taken from the oven, bubbling with melted cheese and oozing with tomato sauce. Jacob gabbled on excitedly about his day of fun with Harry as they ate, promising to show Louis his list later, telling him with a big smile that they’d ticked off everything on it.

"Oh Hazzy! We forgotted!" He hopped out of his seat and rushed over to Harry, whispering something urgently in his ear much to Louis' amusement. Harry just smiled and nodded and Louis watched as Jacob ran off, returning a few minutes later with a big paper bag dragging along the floor behind him. He stopped in the doorway and smiled shyly at his daddy. "Daddy, I missed you today, well me and Hazzy missed you so we got you a present."

Jacob stepped forwards and handed Louis the bag, who took it with a kiss to his son's cheek. "You didn't have to do that, coming home to you two was a good enough present for me." Harry just smiled and shrugged, waiting for Louis to finally open the bag.

Louis reached inside and his hand hit the bag, pulling it out slowly. He looked shocked as he let the paper bag fall back to the floor, examining his gift in both hands, turning it over and even opening it before he said anything. He grabbed Jacob forwards into a tight hug, then released him once he got a bit wriggly, and stood, walking around to Harry and pressing a tender kiss to his lips, hand cupping his cheek, thumb stroking along his jaw line.

"I love it. Wow, you really didn't have to but this is amazing, thank you so much, both of you." He smiled at Jacob but saved his biggest smile for Harry, knowing it would have been him that paid for it.

"Jake wanted to make sure you looked smart for work and he said you liked Zayn's bag so..." Harry trailed off, so happy to see that Louis genuinely loved his present. "Just so pleased you love it. I like spoiling you, Lou." Louis kissed him again quickly. Jacob was bored now and ran off to play with his toys so Louis sat himself on Harry's lap, leaning against him.

"Honestly, this is such a thoughtful present Haz. I really do love it. Thank you, babe." They kissed gently until Jacob wandered back in, rubbing his eyes and telling the pair of them he was tired so Harry took Jacob off for a bedtime story while Louis followed them upstairs and lounged on their bed, scrolling through his phone, messaging his mum and Zayn, telling them Harry’s day of babysitting had been a thorough success. 

Louis got up to kiss Jacob once he was sleepy and despite the fact it was only just gone 8 o’clock, he and Harry decided to stay upstairs. Harry stood at the edge of the room, stretching out his back, making the hem of his t-shirt ride up, giving Louis a glimpse of the laurel tattoos at his hips he loved so much. Harry knew how much Louis liked them, and teasingly slid his top up his torso, eventually pulling it over his head, laying down next to Louis in just his jeans.

“So did you like my dancing earlier?” Harry asked, rolling onto his side and propping his head on his hand so he could look at Louis, who was still sat up against the headboard. “Looked like you did when you came in Jake’s room.”

“Well, it was certainly special,” Louis said with a raised eyebrow, trying his best to ignore the hand Harry was now snaking up his thigh towards his crotch. He cleared his throat and shifted a little, trying to seem unaffected.

“Gonna have to take you dancing one day,” Harry mumbled, now shoving up the edge of Louis’ top to kiss at the skin of his stomach, licking over it gently. “Pull you close by your hips, grind up against you, show everyone you’re mine and that they can’t have you-”

He was cut off by Louis throwing his phone onto the mattress and shoving Harry down, quickly climbing on top of him and grabbing his hands, pressing them down next to his head. Harry bit his lips and Louis resisted the urge to pull it free. He bent down and let their lips meet, teasing his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip until they parted, letting his tongue slide in to meet Harry’s own. They kissed like that for a while, Louis perched on top of Harry’s body, Harry allowing him to take full control.

Without really realising what he was doing, Louis began to grind down on Harry’s body, Harry’s own arousal becoming more prominent even through the thick denim of his jeans, and he started to squirm around, wanting to rid himself of the restrictive material.

“Lou, get my jeans off, wanna touch-” Harry moaned, sighing with relief as Louis released his hands and pulled himself off Harry, shaky fingers fiddling with the button at the waist of Harry’s jeans, eventually working the zip down and tugging the trousers off, letting them land of the floor with a thud. He shucked his own off then and debated for a second before pushing down his boxers too, clambering back onto the bed on top of Harry, who had also got rid of his underwear. Apparently, being naked together was a thing now, and Louis very much approved of it.

“Can I…” he began nervously, and changed his mind, coming up again to kiss Harry instead. Harry, though, eased back from the kiss, inquisitive eyes looking up into Louis’, wanting to know what he wanted, knowing he would give him anything.

“Don’t be shy with me, tell me what you want,” Harry encouraged, stroking his hands up and down Louis’ curvy waist, loving how easily his big hands rested there, how good Louis looked naked in front of him. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know. Wish we could be naked all day, the things I’d do to you....” Louis scoffed at that and shuffled on the mattress again.

“Wanna use my mouth…” He looked up and was pleased to see Harry seemed to like that idea very much. “Can I… can I suck you off Haz?” Harry had no words but just nodded, in that moment wanting nothing but that, for Louis to use his mouth and make him feel so good. Louis started to kiss down down Harry’s torso, the scruff on his chin and cheeks leaving a slight sting that Harry loved to feel, knowing it had been Louis that had put it there.

Louis looked up before he bent down again, licking across Harry’s hip bone and sucked a deep love bite into the right one, loving how it discoloured the dark tattoo, a visible reminder to Harry for the days afterwards of what they’d done. Harry’s skin was so soft, and Louis couldn’t get enough, licking and nipping at it with his teeth, loving the reactions it was drawing from his boyfriend.

“Love touching you, making you feel good,” Louis murmured as he ran his hands up Harry’s bare thighs, feeling the muscles quiver under his fingertips. “You like me touching you, babe?” He poked the very tip of his tongue out then and ran it over the head of Harry’s cock, making him moan at the sensation, precome leaking from the slit until Louis lapped it up with his tongue again.

“Fuck, always want you touching me,” Harry agreed, closing his eyes as Louis’ mouth enveloped his length, his hand clasping around the base, stroking what he couldn’t get inside. Harry was big, much bigger than any man Louis had been with before, although that wasn’t many if he was honest, and he enjoyed getting to know Harry’s body inch by inch, discovering how he liked to be touched, the words he liked to hear as Louis tried to make him feel good.

It had been a few  weeks since they’d first been intimate with each other, and while they hadn’t progressed much further than hand jobs and blow jobs just yet, it was enough for now and both were quite content with how things were between them, enjoying early morning between the sheets, hands sliding all over each other as they kissed and touched their way to orgasm before the sun rose. Neither Harry or Louis had realised how much they had missed intimacy with someone until they arrived in each others lives, and they were taking full advantage of their newfound boyfriend status.

Harry’s hands were lightly tangled in Louis’ hair as Louis began to bob his head, feeling Harry holding him back as Louis sucked and licked around, tongue teasing Harry until he pulled off, feeling Harry was getting too close too soon. He smirked, dipping down to lick at the crease between Harry’s hips and thighs, pressing his thumbs into the laurel tattoos again.

“Would love to see you get a tattoo someday..” Louis mumbled again, and Harry let out a shuddery breath at the thought. He loved getting inked, picking things that were meaningful and somewhere in the back of his mind, he mulled over the thought of one day getting something significant, something special just for Louis. The thought quickly melted away as again Louis took him down, and it didn't take much longer until Harry released, Louis hurrying to swallow it all down before coming off and licking his lips, pressing a quick kiss to Harry’s spent cock laying against his hip.

“Fucking hell Lou, you are too good at that,” Harry said, voice strained, shivering with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He eyes roamed down and he noticed Louis’ own erection between his thighs, Louis stroking himself now, eyes fixed on Harry’s body. “Hey, let me help you-” he reached across to touch but Louis batted his hand away, an odd expression on his face now.

“No- wanna, oh god, wanna finish on you, can I-”

“Fuck yes,” Harry nodded, shifting himself so his body was laid out for Louis, his for the taking. He loved that Louis was getting braver with him, choosing to admit what he wanted rather than hiding away and making Harry guess as he did at the beginning. Harry was mesmerised by the sight of Louis stroking himself, hand working quickly up and down his length as he knelt between Harry’s spread legs. Louis’ curves looked beautiful in the early moonlight, and Harry wanted so badly to touch. “Show me I’m yours Lou, please-"

“Shit, Harry-” Louis wanked himself harder and faster then, a thrill going through his body at Harry’s words, openly admitting he was Louis’ now. “Mine, you’re mine, aren’t you?” He watched with wide eyes as Harry nodded, his hands resting on Louis’ knees now, the slightest of touches keeping them linked in a small way as Louis crept ever closer to his climax.

“All yours, just yours-” Harry returned and that was enough to send Louis hurtling over the edge, watching as his come painted Harry’s torso and chest, stroking himself through his orgasm, crying Harry’s name as it wracked his body. Harry didn't flinch, loving how it felt to be claimed by Louis in this way, the come rapidly cooling on his skin as Louis flopped down next to him on the bed, reaching out for his hand which Harry gave willingly.

“Where did you come from?” Louis asked, frowning as he stared at the ceiling. “I mean, really. How did I find you? Cos people like me don’t get this lucky. Things like this don’t happen to boys like me-” He was stopped by Harry rolling over and kissing him, their dry lips working together, Louis sinking back into the kiss before Harry pulled away, staring deep into his eyes.

“I told you. Don’t say that shit. You can only say that if when you say boys like you, you mean kind-hearted, gorgeous, amazing, sexy boys. Cos that’s you. That’s what I see when I look at you. I see an amazing father, and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. And I don’t care that it’s only been a few weeks or whatever, I’m not gonna hide how I feel about you, Louis. So stop acting like I’m some sort of God, I’m just a guy who fe-” He suddenly stopped talking, eyes wide as he stared at Louis.

Louis frowned. “Who what?”

“Who found someone he wants to be with,” Harry finished, heart thumping in his ribcage at how he’d nearly given the true extent of his feelings away. “Just… please stop putting yourself down. I don’t like it. Please?”

Louis nodded and turned onto his side, slotting one leg between Harry’s own. “Sorry. I’m sorry, love. Think it’s just a defence mechanism in a way, I’ve always done it. I’ll try to stop. Now get your boxers back on so we can go to sleep.” Harry chuckled and reached down to the floor, grabbing both pairs and bringing them up, giving Louis one, not caring whose belonged to who.

*****

Sleep came quickly to the pair of them, but it felt like Harry had only been asleep for ten minutes when he was woken up by someone sniffling. He turned over and looked over at Louis, eyes straining in the darkness to see he was still asleep. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up, startling when he saw Jacob stood in the light of the doorway, tear tracks running down his little cheeks. Harry flicked on the bedside light, and his heart fell when he saw Jacob in sodden pyjamas, legs crossed and his thumb in his mouth.

“Hey, what’s up love?” he said, getting out of bed and crouched down in front of the little boy, careful not to wake Louis. He led him out into the hallway and hugged him, careful not to wet his own underwear by getting too close.

“I’m sorry Hazzy, I wetted the bed, I didn't make it to the toilet for a wee, I’m sorry-” he started crying again then and Harry’s heart broke just a little. He reached behind him, closing the bedroom door to let Louis sleep, knowing the day at work had taken its toll mentally on his boyfriend.

“Happens to everyone at some time love,” Harry said, taking Jacob’s hand and walking them both into the bathroom. “Don’t even worry. I’m gonna help you wash up and change your sheets then you can go back to bed, yeah?” Jacob nodded and Harry reached out, wiping the tears away with his thumb, pressing a quick kiss to the boy’s forehead. He ran a sink of warm water and helped Jacob peel off his wet clothes, throwing them into the bath to be collected later when he’d stripped the bed.

Jacob washed himself down with a flannel while Harry fetched new pyjamas from his room and changed the bed. By the time he got back, Jacob was wrapped up in a towel, and Harry dried him off, passing Jacob his clean clothes, letting him getting dressed while he nipped downstairs and threw the wet things into the wash, knowing they’d start to smell a bit if he didn't, and he didn't want Jacob to feel any worse.

He returned to the bathroom and Jacob was clean and cosy again. As Harry hung the towel up on the radiator to dry, he felt Jacob tugging at his arm. He turned around and Jacob smiled softly at him, eyes still red rimmed from his earlier crying. “Thank you Hazzy, I’m sorry, Daddy says I’m a big boy now but sometimes I don’t know I’ve got to go when I’m asleep-”

Harry sat down on the closed toilet seat lid and pulled Jacob into his lap, the sleepy boy nestling against his chest. “Don’t say sorry, love. It was an accident, you can bet me and your dad did it when we were young too. And nothing a quick wash and change of clothes couldn’t fix, yeah?” Jacob nodded and yawned. “Want to sleep with me and your dad tonight?” Jacob nodded and Harry got to his feet, the little boy in his arms, nearly asleep against his chest.

Harry opened the door slowly, hoping the slight squeak wouldn’t wake Louis, and he stepped over to the bed, laying Jacob down gently on his back, admiring how much like his father he looked when he slept. He climbed into bed next to him and kissed his cheek, running a hand over Louis’ head before he flicked off the light and fell back to sleep himself, a little proud of how he’d handled his first hiccup with Jacob, hoping Louis wouldn’t mind in the morning.

It turned out he didn't mind, not at all. Louis had been a little confused to find Jacob snuggled up behind him when he’d woken up, and he’d reached out, tapping Harry’s arm until he woke up, eyes blinking blearily at him. Harry blew a kiss over Jacob’s head and Louis smiled, returning it.

“Why’s he in here?” he whispered, nodding down to Jacob who was still sleeping soundly, undoubtedly worn out from his midnight waking. “Everything okay? Did I miss something?”

“Um, Jake woke me up at about 2, I think? He’d wet the bed. I gave him a quick wash and changed the bed and stuff but he was embarrassed and upset so I let him sleep with us. I hope that’s alright, I just didn't want to wake you up, I know you need your sleep-”

“Harry. You seriously stripped my son’s piss stained bed, and washed him and comforted him when he was upset, and you think I’d be mad at you? You’re fucking amazing, you know that? Shit, thank you so much. You didn't have to do that, I mean, that’s like the less fun part of being a parent. But, I mean, thank you. So much.” He sat up slightly and leaned across to kiss Harry quietly in the darkness of their room.

“Don’t thank me. I didn't mind. Felt nice to do something to help, that Jake was happy to let me sort him out. Just felt like the right thing to do, Lou.” Louis settled back down under the covers and laid so he was facing Harry, the two facing each other now, eyes adjusted to the low light of the morning. He reached an arm across, holding Harry’s bicep with his hand, Jacob under his arm and within the hug.

Louis couldn’t get his head around Harry doing that, and the fact he’d done it for no reason at all other than because he wanted to. He was seamlessly becoming part of their lives, taking on an almost loco parentis role alongside Louis. As Louis shut his eyes, he let the idea that perhaps Harry really was here to stay embed itself in his mind, and he fell back to sleep with a smile on his lips, and his boys in his arms.


	11. 3 is Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry, Louis and Jacob jet off on holiday to America, and lots of fun ensues!

“Right, when we get out, I’ll get Jake, you get the bags, okay love? Keep your head down, just keep walking and don’t stop, whatever you do. The security will be there but this bit can still be shit scary. Alright Lou?” Louis nodded although his heart was racing and he felt a bit sweaty with nerves already.

Jacob looked around nervously. He could hear the shouts and calls of the paparazzi already gathering around, and Harry rested a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. The little boy held on to the straps of his backpack as Louis started to grab the handles of their carry on bags, knowing Harry’s security would be taking the suitcases for them.

“Hazzy, I’m scared,” Jacob said in a small voice. The noises were getting louder and even Louis was feeling a little intimidated now. He crawled over the backseat and into Harry’s lap, where he held him tightly. “I don’t want the people to take pictures of me, they’re loud, why are they shouting?”

Harry looked helplessly over to Louis, needing some help to calm the little boy down.

“Love, they just want pictures of Harry because of his singing, yeah? Like when people take photos at a show like we did, people like to see Harry in different places.”

Jacob frowned for a second, clearly turning that over in his mind. “But it’s only the airport. That’s not fun cos you’re not singing Hazzy, so why do they want your picture here?” Harry laughed and shrugged, realising the little boy had hit the nail on the head. “You’re going to protect me, yeah Hazzy?”

“Course love, just remember what we said. Keep your head in my neck and hold on tightly to me, I won’t let you go, and your dad is gonna be just in front of us.” Harry saw through the windscreen that they were pulled up outside the main terminal at Heathrow, and he turned to look at Louis. “Ready babe?” Jacob’s eyes widened at the use of the pet name, something they tried not to do too much around Jacob, but occasionally it slipped out.

“Ready. So I follow Rob out, right?” Harry nodded and suddenly, the door to the van slid open and a cacophony of screams and shouts filled the vehicle, flashes almost blinding them. Louis was pulled out first, bags hung from both shoulders and he marched on, head hung down, eyes to the floor. Harry stepped out next and made sure he had Jacob securely against him before he moved. He could feel Jacob trembling against him and he rubbed his back gently as he walked, the boys face nestled into his neck, his hot little breaths against his skin. “You’re alright love, I’ve got you,” he said quietly, wishing for a moment things were different and they could go on holiday like a normal family without this circus around them.

He didn't realise for a moment he’d just called them a family in his head, but he kept walking on, the silence fading as they entered the concourse of the airport and were led away to one side, through a private security entrance. Harry sighed as the door shut behind them and he put Jacob down, who immediately ran over to Louis, jumping into his arms. Harry felt a bit upset then, worried Jacob was overwhelmed but then, the boy was back on his feet and rifling through his backpack, pulling out a comic Louis had bought yesterday. He sat down on the floor, little shorts-clad legs sticking out in front of him, so Harry walked over to Louis, standing behind him and resting his chin on his shoulder, arms wrapped around Louis’ slim waist. Harry smiled softly as Louis laid his own hands on Harry, a small gesture but one that meant a lot to him.

“Well, he doesn’t seem too traumatised,” he said quietly, and Louis shook his head. “You alright?”

“Yep, all good. Don’t understand how you do this all the time though, it’s a bit shit isn’t it?” He craned his head around and let Harry press a quick kiss to his lips. 

“Yeah, it is. Hate that I’m dragging you and Jake into it all-”

“Don’t. I said I wanted to do this, and it’ll be all good once we get through this bit. Jacob’s so excited about the plane, I think he’ll be clamouring to sit between us for the flight, I bet he won’t sleep a wink.” Louis rolled his eyes but Harry laughed. “Oh, you have no idea Styles. Trapped in what is effectively a tin can with Jacob and no space to run around for 8 hours? Hell on earth, I tell you.”

“Oh Lou, don’t be such a spoil sport. He’ll love it, it’ll be great!”

*****

“Jacob, love, please sit down,” Harry begged, and he chose to ignore the smirk Louis was sending him. It turned out, after all, that Louis was right. Entertaining an energetic six year old on a plane was not the most fun thing you could choose to do on a Tuesday afternoon, and Harry’s patience was wearing thin only five hours in. He’d tried to doze off a while ago, managing about an hour or so before Jacob kicked him accidentally and he’d woken up again. After that, he’d given up, realising neither he or Louis were destined to relax on the flight at all. 

“Jacob, you’re being rude. Sit down or there will be trouble.” Louis threw Jacob a stern look and the little boy flopped down into his chair. Louis flicked through the menus on the iPad in his hands and brought up the Minions movie, which Jacob clapped excitedly for. Harry dug some headphones out of his bag and stuck them on Jacob’s head and the pair sighed in relief when Jacob sat still and began to watch, sipping on his apple juice.

“Okay, maybe you were right. This isn’t as easy as I thought,” Harry sighed, resting his head back against the headrest. Louis just made a “told ya” gesture and climbed over Jacob, coming to rest next to Harry as the little boy scooted over against the window, leaning on the wall. “It’s fine though, all part of it.” Louis kissed him again softly, and caught the eye of a stewardess who was smiling coyly at them from where she stood.

“Someone’s watching us,” Louis whispered, and Harry diverted his gaze, smiling at the woman too.

“Let’s give her something to watch then…” Harry said, bending his head down and kissing Louis, flicking his tongue cheekily into Louis’ mouth. They kissed like that for a few seconds until Louis pulled away, well aware of his son at the other end of the seat. “Really happy you’re here, both of you.”

“Me too, thank you for bringing us with you, sorting everything out for us…”

“It’s my pleasure, honestly. It’ll be great to go out when I’m not working, but you and Jake are free to do what you want, you know. I have booked the days at Universal Studios though, so we’ve got that to look forward to next week. Glad I’ve got a few days off with you both.”

Louis kissed him again and stood up to stretch his legs and fetch a fresh bottle of water from the stewardess. He didn't return for a bit and Harry looked around, seeing him chatting so left him to it, keeping an eye on Jacob who seemed engrossed.

Just as Harry had picked up his journal, ready to scribble down a few thoughts, a small voice piped up.

“Hazzy, I need a wee!” Harry looked around and Louis had vanished, probably to the loo himself so he stood up and held out a hand for Jacob, who took it eagerly. They walked up the aisle together, Jacob waving at some bemused passengers, and Harry stood while Jacob went into the toilet, keeping the door ajar so he couldn’t lock himself in or anything. As he stood waiting, Louis appeared by his side, sliding a hand into Harry’s back pocket.

“Sorry, got chatting to that stewardess, then I needed the loo and there was a queue… Jake in there?” Harry nodded and when the chain flushed, he peeked in the door, pleased to see Jacob at the sink and washing his hands.

“Ready love?” Harry asked and Jacob nodded, grinning up at Louis as he came out.

“Daddy, now I’m hungry. Can I eat now, please?” Harry just rolled his eyes and Louis laughed, leading the three of them back to their seats.

*****

“Oh my god Hazzy this is super cool!” Jacob said, now able to run around in the freedom of their hotel suite. “Daddy my bed is super big!” Jacob took a running jump at it and the covers flew up around him, making both Louis and Harry laugh. They were lounging on a big sofa, and the flight and their early start were taking its toll on the pair of them. Jacob, however, had seemingly endless energy.

“Right, dinner time then sleep!” Louis said, getting to his feet and shoving them back into the Vans he’d only kicked off half an hour ago. He opened their suitcases and pulled out a fresh t-shirt for himself and a whole new outfit for Jacob, since the little boy had managed to make a bit of a mess with his plane food. “Jake, come here, you need to get changed.”

Jacob stomped through and took the clothes from Louis and started stripping off there and then down to his little pants. He suddenly darted off and Louis sighed in exasperation, throwing up his hand in near despair. Harry stood up, barefoot and just in his jeans and chased after the little boy, Jacob’s delighted screams filling the room as Harry finally grabbed him, throwing him over his shoulder and returning him to an amused Louis.

“Oi monkey, listen to your dad, you can’t go to dinner in your pants, as smart as they are.” 

“I wanna wear my Harry t-shirt,” he pouted and Louis decided just to agree in order to get them out of the room and to some food, as his stomach was rumbling wildly. He pulled out one of the t-shirts Harry had given him and bunched it up, tucking it in the waistband of Jacob’s denim shorts before he changed his own top.

They headed out of the hotel, a couple of security guards flanking them but luckily, it seemed that news of where they were staying hadn’t reached the fans yet, and they made it to a restaurant in relative peace. The guards sat away from them, and Jacob scooted into a booth next to Louis, Harry opposite the pair of them.

They devoured their meals, all of them hungry since the plane food wasn’t enough for three hungry boys, and by the time desert came, Jacob was sound asleep in Louis’ lap. Harry and Louis talked quietly across the table, and when the bill arrived, Harry sorted it while Louis got himself out and rested Jacob against himself. They’d walked to the restaurant, having picked one not too far from the hotel, and ten minutes in, Louis was regretting that decision. His boy was a dead weight when he was asleep, and his back was aching, and the muscles in his arms screaming in protest.

“Let me take him,” Harry said quietly, and together, they rearranged Jacob until he was being held by Harry, Louis by his side again. There was an ease about the three of them together that betrayed the fact they’d only known each other just over four months. A gaggle of paparazzi were in front of them as they turned the corner, and Harry swore under his breath, making sure Jacob’s face was covered as they hurried along, keen to get to the hotel. They slipped in through the doors, the hotel staff reacting immediately to the cameras outside, refusing them entry.

Once they arrived back in the room, Harry laid Jacob down on his bed and Louis undressed him, kissing the boy goodnight before they crept out, leaving his door open so he wouldn’t get scared if he woke up in the middle of the night.

“I’m gonna tweet something, say you two are here with me, and they need to respect the fact Jake’s a kid,” Harry said, grabbing for his phone. He tapped out a tweet and held it round to show Louis who nodded.

“Thank you, that means so much to me-” Louis began, but he was stopped from speaking by Harry kissing him, pushing him back down to the sofa. Their kiss became more heated as time went on, and soon enough Harry was grinding his crotch down against Louis, both of them moaning in need and want. “Bed-”

Harry scooped Louis up and practically ran them both to their bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind them as they clawed at their clothes, keen to get out of them. Since the first time they’d been intimate, they’d gone further with each other, comfortable with being sexual now but hadn’t quite progressed to having sex. Louis still felt he wasn’t ready for that, and Harry was being incredibly respectful of that fact. 

”Wanna get my mouth on you,” Harry muttered and Louis just nodded, wanting exactly that too. He laid himself out on the bed and watched as Harry climbed, totally naked, onto the bed between his legs, kissing up each thigh as he went. He kissed everywhere, avoiding the place Louis wanted to be kissed most of all, until Louis took matters into his own hands, full of frustration and desire.

He grabbed Harry’s curls and guided his head until it hovered over his erection. Harry glanced up at him, and not breaking their gaze, stuck his tongue out and dipped his head until it touched Louis’ shaft. He did that a few times until he surprised Louis by parting his lips and slipping the head inside, sucking gently. 

“Fuck, Harry, so good at that, feels so good-” Louis said, in pure ecstasy already. Harry opened his mouth more, taking as much of Louis as he could, his hand wrapped around the base, stroking up and down. His circled his tongue around as he sucked, bobbing his head in a rhythm that was driving Louis wild. Louis was thrashing about on the bed now, overwhelmed by the feeling of Harry’s mouth around his cock, and he bit back a cry as Harry sucked particularly hard, knowing he had to keep quiet as his son was asleep down the corridor.

Harry popped off quickly and licked his lips, smirking up at Louis. “Gonna come for me, Lou?” Louis nodded and shut his eyes again as Harry took him back inside his mouth, sucking Louis for all it was worth. It didn't take much longer for Louis to reach his climax, and he opened his eyes as he came, watching Harry swallow him down eagerly until Louis was groaning with oversensitivity.

“Fuck - you’re too good at that-” Louis murmured and let his gaze drop down to Harry’s hard cock, hanging between his legs, unattended to. “My turn, get up here.” Harry scooted up and sat himself on Louis’ chest, a position for this they both realised they very much enjoyed. Louis grabbed another pillow and shoved it under his head, and when he was ready, Harry put his hands up on the headboard and lowered his hips down, grazing the leaking tip of his cock over Louis’ waiting lips.

“Want it love?” Harry teased, and he groaned when Louis craned his head, taking Harry down in one swoop. There was something about being pinned under Harry’s body that Louis loved, and he raised his hands, placing them on Harry’s firm thighs as he bobbed his head, teasing with his tongue, running it up and down the soft skin of Harry’s shaft. 

“Fuck Lou- shit, love when you take my cock, best thing to watch in the world-” Louis didn't say anything but just raised his eyebrows, continuing to suck and lick, enjoying the taste and feel of Harry inside his mouth. Moments like this made him want to give in, to finally sleep with Harry and find out how sex between the two of them would be. But there was something about holding out that Louis loved, knowing that waiting for the right moment would make it even better when the time eventually came. “Gonna come Lou, on you or in your mouth?” Louis didn't pull back, telling Harry he wanted to swallow his come so Harry thrust a little, knowing Louis liked it a little when he did that. 

Louis and Harry had had much more time on their own thanks to Louis’ plethora of babysitters, which had given them a chance to explore each other, their bodies and their wants and likes. Harry had always made Louis feel comfortable with everything they did, and the more intimate they got to be with each other, the closer they felt. Louis had surprised himself with some of the things he’d liked with Harry, and this was one of them. He kept his eyes up on Harry’s face as the younger man thrust into his mouth slightly, and Louis reached a hand underneath Harry’s erection to cup his balls, a trick he’d learnt made Harry come almost straight away.

It worked, and Harry moaned Louis’ name lowly as come filled his boyfriend’s throat, Louis struggling to swallow quickly enough. When he was done, Harry pulled down and shuffled down Louis’ body, their spent cocks resting against each other as Harry kissed him hard, their lips crashing together. They could taste the mingled come that lingered in their mouths, and Harry rolled off, reaching across to grab the remote and turn the aircon up a little to cool them down.

“You coming out here with me was a fucking fantastic idea,” he said, and Louis laughed loudly. 

“I agree love. And we’re only on day one. So much more to come.” Harry cocked an eyebrow at that and Louis grinned widely, Harry reaching across to stroke his cheek gently, staring at Louis. “Jake will probably be up hideously early so we need to get some sleep. Boxers first.” 

They’d learnt the hard way to always remember to put underwear back on before they went to sleep, after Jake had burst in one morning into their bedroom, leaving Louis scrambling for the covers. He wasn’t bothered about Jacob seeing him naked, the pair often shared a shower after they’d been swimming or whatever, but seeing Harry naked might be a step too far. Harry stood up and grabbed a couple of pairs of clean boxers from his case, throwing one of them over to Louis on the bed. 

They pulled them on,and Harry disappeared for a second before returning, pushing the door to rather than shutting it, knowing they wouldn’t be getting up to anything more tonight. 

“He’s still sound asleep,” he said, climbing into bed next to Louis. He flicked off the light and laid his head on Louis’ chest, letting his boyfriend run his fingers gently through his hair. It was a habit Louis had picked up from years of trying to get Jacob to sleep, and it seemed to work just as well on Harry as it did his son. “Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun. It’s much better being out here with you two rather than on my own.”

“We enjoyed it too. I mean, a plane ride with a six year old isn’t the best fun ever, but we’ve got loads to look forward to. I’m gonna hit the shops with Jake tomorrow since you’re booked up all day, but we’ll meet for dinner yeah?” There was no answer, and Louis twisted his head and smiled when he saw Harry was already fast asleep. He kissed his forehead and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him over too.

*****

“Come on love, cheer up,” Louis said to his son who was still snivelling. They’d been in L.A. a week now, and while they had all had an amazing time so far, Jacob was beginning to hate Harry disappearing off to work every morning. This particular morning, though, had been the worst so far. They’d eaten breakfast together in the outside dining area of the hotel, and returned back upstairs to get ready for the day. When Harry had gone to hug and kiss Jacob goodbye, the little boy had burst into tears and clung on to Harry, begging him not to go.

Harry was all ready to agree to stay behind but Louis had insisted he should go work, telling Jacob sternly but in an understanding way that Harry had to go to work, but that he’d be back later. It hadn’t really helped and in the end, Louis had had to pull Jacob away with Harry literally running away while Jacob wailed in his dad’s arms, crying for Harry to come back. It had taken Louis a while to settle him, and if truth be told, he was a little shook up at how upset the little boy had gotten over everything.

“So, why did you get so upset about Harry going, love? You know he’s out here to work, and that we’ve got a few days with him next week. We’re going to the water park, and Universal Studios with him, remember?” Jacob gave Louis a little smile at that, and nodded, sniffing again.

“I just miss him Daddy. When we’re at home we are all together and he spends loads of times with me but here he has to go to work and I just, I miss him lots. I have fun when it is all three of us.” Louis’ heart pulled at how freely Jacob spoke of his affection for Harry, how the little boy had clearly fallen for Harry as more than just his friend, and while it made him smile, he felt a little concerned at how much Jacob had come to rely on Harry’s company already. 

“I know, love. I miss him too. But you know lots of people all around the world like seeing Harry too, yeah? And you’re super special because you get Harry to read you bedtime stories, and sing with you, and play football with you. Not many other people get that.”

“And you’re lucky cos Harry gets to sleep in your bed with you and kiss you!” Jacob said with a big smile, and Louis couldn’t help but laugh as he nodded.

“Yes, I’m very lucky,” he agreed, pushing Jacob gently in the direction of the waiting tourist bus. “Now, we’re gonna have some fun and before you know it, it’ll be time to go and see Harry again. He promised you Cheesecake Factory for dinner, didn't he?”

“CHEESECAKE!” Jacob screamed, much to Louis’ embarrassment and the delight of the other passengers sitting around. 

When the bus stopped and everyone got off, Louis wandered around the streets for a while with Jacob, soaking up the sights of Los Angeles, somewhere he never thought he’d get to. He decided not to get back on their bus, instead catching one in a while so they could walk around at their own pace. Jacob had Louis’ hand in his, and was wide eyed, his little head protected from the sun by a ‘Harry’ baseball cap he’d been given before they left for their holiday, and now it went everywhere with them. Louis thought his son was a bit of a walking Harry Styles billboard at times.

As they sat down on a bench on a busy street, just watching the world go by for a while, Louis’ phone started to ring in his pocket. He pulled it out and smiled when he saw it was Harry calling. He handed the phone over to Jacob who grinned and answered it, putting it on speakerphone so his daddy could hear the conversation too.

“Hazzy! I miss you already!” Jacob said straight away, and Harry’s laughter filled the phone. Louis pulled the little boy into his lap, and listened quietly. “How much longer til we see you? Me and Daddy was on a bus, but now we gotted off and we’re walking in the sun.”

“That sounds awesome love, I’m sure you’re going to have a great time with Daddy. I miss you too, by the way. I didn't like seeing you cry this morning, I’m sorry I made you sad because I had to go.”

“It’s okay Hazzy, I just wished you could come with us but Daddy said we have some days together next week and we have cheesecake tonight! I love cheesecake, will you share with me?”

“Course I will Jake, already looking forward to it. You there, Lou?”

“I’m here babe. He’s fine now, don’t worry. But it’s nice of you to call and check on him. How’s work?” They chatted for a few more minutes about Harry’s plans for the days, and he promised to be back at the hotel for 4 o’clock so he could take Jacob in the hotel pool for a swim and some boys time before they went to dinner. Jacob’s face lit up at that, and Louis wished he could show Harry how much he’d cheered him up with such a small gesture.

“Alright babe, well you two have fun, and I’ll see you tonight? I’ve gotta go, I’m being called in for an interview,” Harry said, regret laced in his voice. “Miss you both, bye!”

“Bye Hazzy, miss you more” Jacob called, stabbing at the phone, ending the call before Louis even had a chance to say goodbye. He laughed good naturedly and tucked his phone away, but quickly took it out again and snapped a selfie of the pair of them, sending it to Harry to cheer him up. The string of heart emojis he got in reply was all Louis needed to keep the smile on his face for the rest of the day.

*****

The holiday passed by far too fast for Harry’s liking. It felt like he was being shoved from radio station, to meet and greet, to signing, and back to another radio station, over and over. He was exhausted, he was getting cranky from having to be perpetually happy, and to make matters worse, he felt like he’d barely seen Louis and Jacob. Sure, he got to go to bed with Louis every night, but he missed time with Jacob, so he was desperate for a few days by the time they finally arrived.

“Morning Daddy! Morning Hazzy!” Jacob screamed as he ran through their open bedroom door and jumped onto the bed between them. Louis had initially been a little worried about Jacob seeing them in bed together, always making sure one of them was up and dressed at home so he didn't see anything, but the little boy didn't seem phased at all.

Harry opened his arms and Jacob rolled into them, sticking his bare little legs under the covers. He was once again only in his little pants, and his warm body clung to Harry’s like a little koala while Louis somehow slept through it all.

“Hey, ssshhhh, Daddy’s still asleep love,” Harry said softly, and pressed a kiss to the boy’s forehead. Jacob laid still for a few more minutes until he started wriggling again and Harry sighed, deciding to get up. He put the TV on the Disney kids channel to keep his young charge quiet and went to the kitchen area, pouring Jacob some orange juice and chopping him up an apple to keep his hunger away while they waited for Louis to wake up. He padded through to the sitting room, juice and bowl of fruit in hand and set them down on the floor next to Jacob.

“Thanks Hazzy, love you,” Jacob mumbled, eyes transfixed on the telly, but the words he’d spoken hadn’t passed Harry by. He stood stunned for a minute before he got himself together and went back to finish pouring his coffee. He stayed at the worktop for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. Should he tell Louis? Was it just meaningless, something kids say without meaning it? Harry knew he loved the boy, adored spending time with him and loved when he was around himself and Louis. But for Jacob to say he loved him - what did that mean?

A pair of warm arms snaked around his waist then, and he felt kisses being pressed to his bare shoulder blades. He relaxed at the touch, and slowly turned around in Louis’ arms, kissing his lips gently. 

“Mmm morning love,” Louis purred, still adled with sleep. He rested his cheek against Harry’s torso, watching his son munch on his apple while glued to the TV. “Thanks for sorting Jake out, he’s like a bloody fairy elephant in the mornings.”

“No worries,” Harry said, still in a bit of a stupor. 

“What’s wrong?” Louis questioned, immediately sensing something was up with Harry, that he wasn’t his usual cheerful morning self. It was quite sickening usually, how easily Harry could hop out of bed, no matter the hour, when Louis struggled every single morning to answer his first alarm call. The iPhone snooze feature was deadly, it really was. He pecked Harry’s lips gently, hoping to coax at least the start of the problem out of him.

“Jake said something this morning,” he began with a little hesitation, unsure of how Louis was going to react. “Um, don’t be mad Lou, he, well, he said he loved me just now. Like about five minutes ago. I didn't mishear, he actually said love you to me.” He bit his lip and watched the little boy still as he carefully sipped on his juice, setting the plastic cup back on the table and waving at Louis and Harry with a cheerful grin.

“Why would I be mad? I think it’s nice my son feels close enough to you to tell you he loves you, Harry. You’ve been around solidly for practically five months now, it’s no wonder he’s gotten fond of you. I have myself actually…” he winked up at Harry, letting himself be embraced in Harry’s strong arms.

“Thank fuck, I thought you wouldn’t like it or something, dunno why,” Harry rambled on.

“Love, I want my boyfriend and my son to get on, believe it or not. I said when we first got into whatever this was that I didn't want Jacob to get hurt, that I didn't want someone breaking his heart again. I think you’ve more than proved you’re in this for the right reasons, and Jacob clearly feels that too. I know he doesn’t just think of you as Harry Styles anymore. You’re Hazzy, and I really love that. You make him happy Harry, I hope you know that, just by being you.”

Harry blushed at Louis’ wonderful words and kissed him slowly and carefully in the kitchen, trying to keep it chaste, aware a six year old was just across the room. “You two make me happy,” Harry said honestly, and slipped his arms from around Louis, swatting him on the bum quickly as he stepped over to make a tea for Louis. “Ready for today? Wet and Wild, here we come!”

“That means something totally different in my mind…” Louis muttered and Harry laughed loudly, cackling into the silence of the apartment, making Louis laugh too. Jacob came skipping over then.

“What’s so funny Daddy?”” he questioned, looking at his dad and Harry like they’d lost their minds.

“Oh god, nothing, just Daddy being a silly boy,” Louis laughed, ruffling his son’s hair. “You up for the water park today then, love? Make sure you remember your arm bands, won’t you?”

Jacob nodded eagerly, his little eyes lighting up at the thought. He turned and tugged on Harry’s hand, getting his attention. “Hazzy, will you come on the slides with me? Daddy says the big ones make him sick but I really want to try!”

“As long as it’s alright with Daddy, it’s alright with me,” Harry said, and returned Louis’ soft smile. They pulled on some clothes before they all headed down to the dining room where they ate a fairly light breakfast, Louis conscious Jacob would get sick if he ate too much on top of swimming. After they’d eaten, they headed back upstairs and changed into their swimming trunks, Jacob running around with his goggles and armbands on while Louis packed the rest of their things, double checking they had everything and slathering both Jacob and Harry in suncream before they left. 

The day at Wet n Wild passed in a flash and by mid afternoon, all three were worn out. Louis had caught the sun across his shoulders, and Harry couldn’t stop kissing the pink skin, telling Louis it just made him look even cuter which Louis wasn’t too keen on, protesting he was manly, not cute which just made Harry laugh even louder. Harry had been fantastic, eagerly taking Jacob as many ride as the height restrictions allowed, even liking the ones Louis refused to go on. Louis loved watching the two of them climb the tall staircases together, Jacob yapping away at Harry, holding his hand all the time as Louis had instructed.

The scene was made even cuter by the fact Harry and Jacob coincidentally had matching blue swimming trunks on, while Louis stood out in red. Harry had attracted a few glances, and a few young female fans had approached him for photos, which Harry had only accepted whenever he wasn’t alone with Jacob. Louis appreciated how mindful Harry was of his son, and how Louis didn't want him to be on social media more than he had to be. They’d even decided to try and keep the photos to just themselves, giving Jacob a modicum of privacy since he was only 6. 

  


They arrived back at the hotel, Jacob squeaking across the shiny tiled floor in his little blue flip flops, Harry with their bags on his shoulders since Louis’ were feeling a little sore by now after hours in the sun. They smiled at the staff as they walked in and waited for the lifts, Jacob constantly pushing the button to call it before Louis told him off, warning him there’d be no more fun trips if he couldn’t behave.

“Right, in the shower!” Louis called as they stepped into their suite, and Jacob surprised both men by standing in the middle of the suite and pulling off all his clothes, running around naked. “Oh good god, I’m so sorry Harry, the boy is a nudist, I swear…” Louis looked a little flustered and hurried after Jacob, shouting at him to get his little behind in the shower right now, making Harry laugh. Harry strolled after him, watching as Louis handed Jacob the little bottle of shower gel now he was safely in the shower.

He stood behind Louis and wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t mind a bit of being naked myself…” he mumbled into Louis’ ear, feeling Louis shuffle back against him. “Wanna try it later with me?”

“Hazzy! Look, I got a shark’s head!” The moment was broken by Jacob sticking his soapy head out from behind the glass door, hair pulled up into a tall mohican, the laughter of all three echoing through the tiled bathroom. 

“Looking cool, Jake! Make sure you don’t get it in your eyes though, go and rinse…” Jacob nodded and stepped back, and Louis shut the door after him. 

“Sooooooo, naked later then?” Louis whispered as he stood on tiptoes, his forehead resting against Harry’s. Harry nodded and their lips met for a brief second. A few minutes later, Jacob got out of the shower and Louis dried and dressed him, the little boy almost asleep on his feet by now. It was only 4, and Louis decided he could probably have a nap before they headed for one of their last dinners. They only had two days left in California, and they were spending tomorrow at Universal Studios for Jacob. Luckily, Jacob agreed to the nap and Louis and Harry tucked him in.

“Have a good nap, love,” Louis said, kissing Jacob softly, pushing his hair back from his head, grabbing his bear which had fallen on the floor.

“I will, love you Daddy.” Jacob released Louis’ neck, and Harry stepped over, bending down to kiss the boy’s cheek and hug him too. “I love you as well Hazzy, lots.”

Harry quickly looked over to Louis, checking it was okay for him to say what he wanted to. Louis smiled and nodded. “Love you too, kiddo. Get some sleep, then we can go out for dinner later, yeah?” Jacob nodded and turned over, snuggling down under the covers. Harry really couldn’t wipe the smile off his face and reluctantly, he turned around, following Louis out of the door.

As they left the room, Louis linked his fingers with Harry’s and dragged them both back in the direction of the bathroom. As Harry went to speak, he quickly turned and rested his index finger on Harry’s plump lips, keeping him quiet. He reached behind the door and turned the shower back on before spinning around and kissing Harry deeply. He pulled off his own clothes, leaving them in a tangled heap on the floor before doing the same to Harry, leaving them both naked.

He winked up at him. “Naked time for us now,” he said softly and led Harry into the shower, kissing him under the spray while Harry’s hand kneaded at the soft skin at his hips. Louis had been craving Harry’s touch all day, and now he was finally getting it, it was proving too much already. Their erections brushed together as they continued to kiss, trying to keep their moans to a minimum, both aware Jacob wasn’t too far away.

Louis reached a hand down, encircling Harry’s hard cock, and Harry pushed his tongue further into Louis’ mouth in response, swirling his tongue around Louis’, snaking one hand up and tugging gently at Louis’ hair. Louis continued to stroke up and down Harry’s length, twisting his nipples with his free hand, something Harry had become quite partial to when it came to Louis. Harry glanced down and saw Louis’ own erection bobbing near his own and he got an idea.

“Do us both, in one hand…” he murmured down into Louis’ ear, and Louis complied quickly. He released Harry’s cock and stepped closer, Harry’s feet either side of his on the shower floor, head still tilted back for a kiss. They both looked down, the tops of their wet heads touching as they watched Louis take both of their lengths in one hand and start stroking. He struggled a bit because his hands were quite small, but they both persevered until he was more comfortable, stroking with a firm grip.

“Oh shit Haz, your cock feels so good against mine,” Louis whimpered, letting Harry take his mouth in a kiss again. He ran his thumb across the top of Harry’s cock, making his hips thrust forwards slightly, moaning into Louis’ mouth as he continued to glide his hand up and down their shafts, aided by the water.

“Make me come Lou, wanna come,” Harry said, unable to drag his eyes away now. He let his hand go down then and clasped it around Louis, the pair of them wanking them both off now, pants and heavy breaths filling the shower cubicle. “So fucking good, you feel so good Lou, love when you touch me, want this forever,” he mumbled, Louis a little startled by his words.

“Me too- shit, fuck, Harry!” Louis cried out as he started to come, streaks of white painting Harry’s skin until the water started to wash it away. “Baby- fuck, come for me-” Louis choked out, sensitive now but gripping their cocks hard as he wanked Harry to orgasm, Harry’s hand guiding his hand in a quicker movement until he crashed their lips together, coming over their hands, moaning lowly through his release.

“Fuck-” Harry got out, nipping at Louis’ lips with his teeth, pulling the bottom one and making Louis groan. He soothed it with his tongue before letting go of Louis’ hand, their spent cocks brushing together again as Louis pulled them together another hug, resting his forehead on Harry’s wet shoulder. “Never felt like this before, not with anyone,” Harry mumbled, still trembling from the force of his orgasm, how Louis had felt surrounding him. He kissed Louis again and they washed each other slowly, hands gently touching, Louis tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair as he pushed conditioner through it.

When they eventually got out, wrapping soft, warm towels around their waists, they snuck through to their bedroom, keen not to wake Jacob just yet. They stood kissing at the edge of the bed and Harry cheekily fiddled with the knot of Louis’ towel, letting it tumble to the floor. Louis scrabbled to pick it up but Harry stopped him with firm hands on his hips, eyes raking up and down Louis’ body.

“Don’t. You’re fucking stunning Lou, love looking at you.” Louis blushed deeply as Harry rubbed up and down at his hips, taking in every inch of his body with his gorgeous green eyes. After a few more seconds of being stared at, Louis decided to return the favour, forcing Harry’s towel to the floor too, and he felt himself inhale sharply at how Harry was bared to him, unabashed by his nudity.

There was something about the hungry way that Harry was staring at him that filled him with confidence. Louis leant forwards and pressed a kiss to one of the swallows at Harry’s collarbones, before trailing across with his tongue and kissing the other. He continued this across Harry’s body, kissing each and every one of his tattoos, leaving Harry somewhat breathless. Without warning, Harry shoved him backwards and onto the bed.

“My turn,” he growled, and sucked a deep love bite in Louis’ collarbone, the smaller man writhing around under Harry’s hold. He too kissed each of Louis’ tattoos too, lifting his arms as if they were made of the most delicate material in the world, placing them down gently on the bed. Louis had never felt more precious, and he was loving how Harry was making him feel. “You’re amazing Louis, every bit of you is just perfect. Hope you know how much you mean to me, how happy I am this is working out.”

“Did you mean what you said?” Louis suddenly said as Harry laid down on top of him, pecking his lips between their sentences, the intimacy natural and unforced between them now. Louis stretched his hands around, resting them on Harry’s cheeks, squeezing and making Harry giggle. “Haz, did you mean it?”

“Mean what? I usually mean what I say, Lou.” Harry cocked an eyebrow and pecked Louis’ nose, a sweet gesture that Louis adored.

“In the shower. You, um, you said you wanted this forever.” He looked away then, a little embarrassed at his question, not really knowing why he was seeking confirmation right now.

“Yep.” Harry said easily, unembarrassed and honest as always. “There’s just something about you Lou. You make me not want to hide, make me want to tell the world who I am. You and Jake, you just make me happy. I feel free when I’m with you.”

Louis didn't say anything, a little emotional at Harry’s easy declaration. It had taken Louis a long while to get there but he knew then that he trusted Harry, wanted this to work, to have him as part of their lives. Louis felt a couple of words threatening to escape his mouth but he bit them back, not wanting to jump in feet first, still ever so slightly cautious about totally giving his all to Harry for some inexplicable reason. However, he knew he wanted to give Harry some reassurance he was feeling the same, even if it wasn’t quite time for those three words that had been whirling around his head for the past few weeks, since they’d gotten to America. 

“Um, same Haz. Really. I can, um, well, I’d like forever too. With you. I may not say it all the time but you mean so much to me. I hate that I’ve held back but I was only protecting myself and Jake. But I know now you mean it, that you really want this, you want me. Us. You’re, you’re just amazing Harry.” Harry's face absolutely lit up at Louis’ words and he surged forwards, kissing him deeply for a few seconds before collapsing back onto the bed, pulling Louis down with him. Louis didn’t give away words like easily so they meant even more to Harry, and he knew he would treasure them. 

Louis may not be too sure about many things in life but one thing he was sure of, laying there naked on a hotel bed with Harry, wrapped up in his strong arms, being kissed and touched reverently, with such tenderness, was that he wasn’t scared anymore. Slowly but surely, Harry was giving him the courage to say what he wanted, what he needed and right then, it was Harry. Everything was Harry, and Harry was just everything. Louis smiled to himself at the thought, accepting yet another kiss Harry laid softly on his lips.


	12. I Wanna Be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the summer is nigh, and Louis decides its time to bring Harry into his family fold, and then he makes a big decision...

They’d reluctantly returned home after their wonderful holiday a week before Jacob and Louis were due back at school and work. Louis had spent a few days at the kitchen table, laminating and cutting out various things for the classroom while Harry and Jacob had run around in the garden, bouncing on Jacob’s trampoline and having water fights. They’d even started spending more time at Harry’s house too, staying overnight when they’d had “Tomlinson Movie Nights”, Jacob happily saying ‘you can pretend to be a Tomlinson for this Hazzy!”’, and Louis pretended to ignore the hopeful sparkle in Harry’s eyes at those words.

Just before they headed back to school, Louis had made a decision, and it was finally time to discuss it with Harry. Jacob had a friend around to play and the boys were busy creating a racetrack of sorts in the garden using various garden tools and toys to shape the track, and Louis and Harry were sat on the patio watching, hands linked and resting on Louis’ thigh. Harry’s thumb was tracing the skin on the back of Louis’ hand, and it all felt so wonderful, Louis almost wanted to cry. Almost.

“Um, H, there’s something I want to ask you, but you can say no if you want,” Louis began, feeling a little nervous now.

“Sounds familiar,” Harry said with a smile, recalling that he’d said the same thing to Louis when he’d asked him about travelling to America together. “You can ask me anything love, you know that.” He lifted Louis’ hand to his mouth and kissed it gently, squinting slightly in the bright sunshine.

“Okay, I know, just, um, well this is big,” Louis said, biting his lip nervously as his bare foot jiggled on the floor. Harry released his hand and instead pressed it against Louis’ thigh, stilling the motion. “Sorry, okay. I’d really like you to meet my Mum, Harry. Well, my family really but my mum is the one who counts.”

“Oh thank god,” Harry said with a laugh, dimpling popping with the wideness of his smile. “I’d love to, Lou. Jake talks about how fantastic she is all the time, and well, I’d love to meet the woman who bought my boyfriend into the world. I’d love you to meet mine officially as well, both you and Jake. I know you met her at the concert, but I’d like to introduce you properly as my boyfriend and my- um, Jacob.”

Louis smiled fondly at that, wondering what Harry was going to say before he cut himself off. “I’d love that, I really would. It’s the twins birthday on Friday, they’re gonna be 2 and Mum and Dan are throwing a barbecue. Do you wanna come with me and Jacob? Get the meeting the Tomlinson’s out of the way all in one go?” Harry pulled a panicked expression that made Louis laugh so loudly it stirred Jacob and his friend from their concentration, frowning at Louis.

“You okay Daddy? Hazzy, stop making Daddy make weird noises,” Jacob admonished, making Harry snort into his hand.

“He has no idea about the noises I can get out of you…” he whispered, making Louis cough slightly and shuffle in his seat, trying to ignore Harry and his innuendo. He turned and Harry winked lasciviously at him, making him get up and dart into the kitchen, keen his son and his friend didn't see his growing arousal currently hidden by his shorts. He leant against the counter in the kitchen for a minute when suddenly Harry pressed up behind him, kissing his neck.

“Stop it Haz, not now, save it for later…” Louis mumbled out, tilting his head into the kisses, Harry now laving his tongue along Louis’ jaw line. “Oi, come on, the kids are outside. Gotta make some lunch anyway.” Harry reluctantly pulled away, pressing a quick kiss to Louis’ lips as he watched his boyfriend preparing lunch for the four of them. He admired how Louis was able to juggle so many things, how easy he made being a dad seem, despite the fact he knew it was hard work. Louis seamlessly juggled Jacob, his job, a household as well as the day to day things of life, and Harry was honestly a bit in awe of him.

“Hey,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ wrist as he headed back to the fridge for a new packet of ham. “You’re amazing, you know. Like, you’re an amazing dad and you make all this seem so easy. I think you’re pretty great, Louis Tomlinson.”

“Not so bad yourself, Styles,” Louis said, raising himself up to his tiptoes to kiss Harry quickly, a little taken aback by the comment. “Now come on, hungry kids wait for no-one I tell you.” Harry scoffed again at that, and Louis looked over his shoulder at him.

“Hungry kids? Lou, you’re like a bear with a sore head if you don’t eat when you’re hungry,” Harry laughed, and Louis kicked him lightly in the shin, a grumpy look on his face. He finished cutting up the sandwiches into small triangles and headed out with Harry into the garden to feed their charges for the afternoon.

 

*****

The family barbecue came around quicker than anyone had anticipated. Luckily the weather forecast had been right for once, and the sun was blazing in the sky, not a cloud in sight. Harry felt a little nervous behind the wheel of his car, Louis next to him tapping away at his phone, and Jacob in the back seat, chatting away to the pair of them about seeing his aunts and uncle, his grandma and the family friends who were invited.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Louis asked, sliding a hand up Harry’s thigh, wanting to put him at ease. “Don’t tell me you’re nervous about meeting my family? You go up on stage in front of thousands of people, and my little family scare you?”

“All those people aren’t my boyfriend’s family, Lou. I’m not trying to impress all those people in the same way. It’s important your mum likes me, and your siblings. I just want them to like me, to think I’m good enough for you, and Jacob too.” He stared ahead, keeping his eyes on the road, heart beating faster as he knew they were just around the corner from where Louis’ mum and step-dad lives.

“You’re more than good enough,” Louis reassured him, hating the fact Harry was nervous about all of this, although he understood. In a way, he was grateful he got meeting Harry’s mum and sister out of the way so early on, it made him feel a little more comfortable about their dinner at Harry’s house next weekend, hoping he’d impress them as Harry’s official boyfriend this time rather than the fanboy he’d been at their last meeting.

Harry pulled up on the kerb outside Louis’ Mum’s house, and Jacob clicked off his seatbelt, waiting as always for Louis to open the door for him before he tried to get out. He bent down and picked up his rucksack while Louis opened the door, watching as he ran up the garden path, banging on the front door until it opened and Jacob ran inside, happily making himself at home as always. Harry came and stood by Louis, who reached out and held Harry’s sweaty hands in his own.

“Look at me,” he instructed, watching as Harry’s gaze finally landed on him, green eyes filled with nerves and uncertainty. “I wouldn’t be asking you to come if I wasn’t serious about us, Haz. I want you to meet my family because I go on about you a lot to my mum, and she’s keen to meet you in person. Plus Jake told her you have, and I quote, the smile of an angel, so she told me she needed to see that for herself.” Harry laughed at that, and Louis took advantage, yanking him towards the front door which was left ajar, Jay no doubt understanding Louis and Harry wanted to make their own way in in their own time.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Harry said, nodding at Louis who started to walk them into the house, not dropping Harry’s hand. Harry was holding a bunch of flowers in one hand, and Louis had a bag full of drinks in the other, their contribution to the day. Doris and Ernest’s presents were still in the back of Harry’s car, and Louis thought to himself they’d fetch them in later, sure the twins would have more than enough gifts for now.

As they walked through the house to the back garden where the party was in full swing, Harry noted how the volume was getting louder. Music was playing in the background, people were sat down, some were dancing and Jacob was running around with two young girls Harry assumed to be Louis’ younger sisters. He grabbed Louis’ hand a little tighter then, and he spun around, giving Harry a smile and a quick peck. They were stopped, however, by the arrival of Jay in the doorway.

“Oh - I’m sorry, I didn't mean-” she gabbled, eyes flitting between the two men in front of her, then down to their linked hands. She smiled softly at both of them, letting Louis speak first, knowing her son would want to make the introductions.

“Hey Mum,” he said, grabbing her in a quick hug before taking Harry’s hand again. “Harry, this is my mum Jay, and Mum, this is my boyfriend Harry.” Harry felt his cheeks redden at Louis’ casual and easy use of the term boyfriend, and he hurried to hold the flowers out to her.

“It’s so lovely to meet you, Mrs Deakin,” Harry said as she took the flowers, smelling them with the softest smile on her face, eyes crinkling at the corners just like Louis’ did when he smiled. “Thank you for letting me tag along with Louis and Jake today.”

If Jay was affected by Harry’s use of Jacob’s nickname, she didn't show it, instead laying the flowers on the table and stepping closer to Harry, wrapping him up in a hug, much to Harry’s surprise. “My family call me Jay, love,” she said with a wink. “So lovely to finally meet you, I hear so much about you from Lou and Jake I already feel like I know you! Come and meet the rest of the gang.” She took Harry’s hand, and Harry let himself be led out to the back garden, suddenly fully aware of the eyes of everyone on him as Jay took him around the garden.

Louis stood back, watching as Harry shook hands and kissed cheeks, smiling broadly at everyone he met, charming them as always. He was suddenly filled with a rush of love towards Harry, that despite how nervous he was, he was doing this for Louis. Louis’ stomach swooped at the realisation. _I’m in love with him_ he thought to himself. He swallowed heavily, and jumped when someone laid a hand on Louis’ bare arm, and he was all of a sudden craving the warmth of the sun on his skin. He turned and smiled down at his sister Félicité, who was giving him a puzzled expression.

“Lou? What’s up?” she asked, trying to see what Louis was looking at. “He’s lovely, by the way. Very charming and friendly. Smells good too!” Louis nudged her with his elbow at that remark, and brought his attention back into the room, happy that Harry was settled outside on a bench next to his mum and opposite his step-dad. He’d go and rescue him in a minute.

“I just-” Louis began, not really knowing where to start. “This is all very odd. Like, he seems to belong here somehow. I haven’t even known him 6 months yet, Fiz. But he just feels… right. I dunno how to explain it.”

“Three little words probably would do the job nicely, Lou,” she teased, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge before heading back outside. Louis glanced back over to Harry then, their eyes meeting across the garden, Harry silently beckoning him over. Louis scooped up his baby sister as he walked across the garden, settling down next to Harry on the bench with her on his lap, the little girl looking curiously up at Harry, big blue eyes so much like Louis’ own.

Doris stood up, feet on the wooden bench between Louis’ legs and she stretched out a little hand, brushing her fingers gently through Harry’s hair, dislodging the sunglasses he had perched there. Harry just pulled them out and let her continue to feel, holding her steady as she stepped over, eventually sitting down into his lap. Dan, Louis’ step dad looked over, jaw dropped and eyes wide.

“Why’s he looking at me like I’m an alien all of a sudden?” Harry whispered to Louis, letting Doris rest her head against his chest, his hands wrapped loosely around her waist keeping her safe. Louis was resting a hand on Harry’s thigh then too, and Jay stood up, pointing at a table of beers, Louis nodding back at her knowing she was asking if they wanted one each.

“Doris doesn’t usually like new people. She still screams her head off at the nursery staff, but apparently she likes you…” Louis held onto both beers that Jay handed over, and he sipped his own, leaving Harry’s on the floor next to his feet for when Doris was done. “I can’t believe you’re two now, little love! You’re two!” Louis held up two fingers, and Doris tried to copy it clumsily, making everyone chuckle at her. Eventually, she tired of doing nothing and slid onto the floor, toddling off after her other siblings who were playing on the grass.

“So Harry, you’re not touring at the moment, then? Enjoying some time off?” Jay questioned, keen to get to know the man that had captured her son’s heart. Harry shook his head, swigging quickly from the top of his bottle of beer.

“No, finished for now. I’m going back to the studio soon to try some writing for the next album. Got some new inspiration, so we’ll see how it goes,” he said, taking Louis’ smaller hand in his, rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Jay. “You have a beautiful home, Jay, Dan. Perfect day for this party too.”

“Yes, at last British summertime hasn’t disappointed us! Can’t believe my littlest babies are two though, it flies. And my oldest is 28 at the end of the year! 28! How?!” Louis chuckled and pulled his sunglasses down, the sun making his eyes ache slightly.

“Lou-lou! Play!” Ernest called from the grass, a black and red football clasped in his little hands. Dan and Louis both stood, trailing over to the garden, Louis throwing Harry an apologetic smile for leaving him alone again but he waved it off, quite content. Just as he was about to start talking to Jay again, Jacob came barrelling over, throwing himself at Harry, grabbing his face and kissing his cheek roughly.

“Hazzy! Will you play with me later? We can go on Nanny’s trampoline!” He bounced excitedly on Harry’s knee, and he quickly adjusted Jacob’s position so he didn't hurt his more delicate regions.

“Of course, after we’ve had some lunch, yeah?” Jacob nodded and hopped down, fiddling with the scarf Harry had tied around his neck that morning. “Do I look smart now?”

“Always smart Hazzy, Nanny do you like our matching shirts?!” Jay nodded, a bemused expression on her face as Jacob quickly high-fived her as he ran past, joining his dad and Dan on the grass. Jay stood and came to sit next to Harry, peering at him from behind her sunglasses.

“So Harry. You happy with my boys, then? I have to say you all look very cosy together. Louis is so happy, haven’t seen him smile this hard over a boy in a long time. You know you’re his first serious anything since Faye?” Harry nodded, prepared for this conversation. “Please just look after him. He’s always so strong for Jacob, for us. But he needs looking after too. He’s got an amazing heart, Harry.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Jay. I know, I promise. And I want to look after him, him and Jacob. They both make me really happy. They’re like the port in the storm of my life, the calm oasis in the middle of everything else. Louis is the first person I’ve ever met who likes me for me. I can’t tell you what that means. I lo- I really like him, Jay. This isn’t just some passing phase, I’m really committed to this, to making it work, and I think Lou is too.”

Louis happened to glance back then just as Jay kissed Harry on the cheek, then they hugged gently, Harry’s eyes closed as he rested his chin on her shoulder. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and tried to focus again on the football game he was taking part in. He kept flicking his eyes over, watching as Harry eventually got up, helping his sisters Lottie and Fiz set up the food on the long wooden table to one side, bringing through armfuls of salad, rolls and more from the kitchen, like he’d always been there. Louis appreciated his family taking to Harry so easily, treating him no differently than how they’d treat someone Lottie or Félicité brought home. Ernest tugged at his hand then, his little cheeks red, hat wonky on his head.

“Loulou, tired and need drink please.” Louis picked him up, setting the little boy on his hip as he walked over towards Harry. Harry turned and grabbed a plastic cup, filling it with orange juice and handed it to Louis as he got over to him. “Ta, Hazzy,” Ernie mumbled shyly into Louis’ shoulder before taking the cup that Louis held and sipped carefully.

When Ernest had had enough and had run off to find his mum, Louis grabbed Harry in a spontaneous hug, in full of everyone and stood up on tiptoes to kiss him. It was no more than a peck of their lips, but it was something Louis hadn’t done in front of his family before, and he hoped Harry understood the significance of their public show of affection.

“Mum said Jacob could stay here tonight, said we could probably do with some alone time. Up for that?”

“Always up for you, Lou,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear, making him shiver. Louis looked up at him then, the two locking eyes for a second until Louis’ name was called out by one of his sisters. Harry reached out and took his hand again as they made their way over to where Dan was asking what they wanted to eat, and Harry settled behind Louis, arms looped around his waist, hands tucked up under the fabric of his t-shirt, nestling there naturally.

 

The rest of the day passed by with smiles, laughter and fun. Doris and Ernest had a joint cake since Jay had said they were only two and didn't need much, the family polishing it off since there were so many of them. Harry was laid out on the grass in the remainder of the sun, Jacob’s head on his stomach, the pair chatting quietly about something out of Louis’ earshot. He was sat next to Dan and Lottie, all of them discussing Lottie’s new beauty course she was starting the next week at the college. Lottie stood when they’d finished, heading inside to grab a cardigan as she felt chilly, and Louis zipped up the hoody Harry had got from his car for him a while ago, comforted by the familiar scent of Harry.

“Happiness looks good on you, Louis,” Dan said, legs crossed at the ankles as he rested on the bench, Doris asleep on his chest, her little fist clutching at her dad’s t shirt. Louis tucked his hands up inside the hoody which was slightly too big all over for him, and turned his body so he was facing Dan now. “He seems like a good guy, he really does. Jake seems to love him.”

Louis nodded. “Think I do too,” he admitted, Dan not looking at all surprised. “I mean, I haven’t told him yet. But I’m pretty sure I do. Never felt this way about another person before. I just want him around all the time, want to spend all my time with him. Feels like he’s the bit of me that’s been missing. God, it’s only been 5 months. Am I crazy? Is this too much?”

“When you know, you know,” Dan shrugged. “He’s just come and met your whole family, Lou. He was polite and helpful, he spent hours running around with your kid and your siblings, now he’s looking after your son without even thinking about it. Doesn’t seem too much to me, not from where I’m sitting. He’s good for you, and you’re good for him. Let yourself be happy, Louis.”

Louis nodded and hugged Dan quickly, rubbing softly over Doris’ back as he helped Dan stand, taking her indoors. He raised a hand at Harry who waved back, stroking his own hand through Jacob’s hair then. Louis walked over and sat on the grass next to Harry, and Harry laid out an arm, prompting Louis to lay down next to them, Jacob smiling sleepily up at them.

“Had a good day, you two?” Louis asked, and his question was answered with eager nods. “Me too. You were amazing Haz, they all loved you.”

“Your family are great Lou, easy to like them too.” They both glanced down, noticing Jacob was struggling to keep his eyes open now. “Better get this little one to bed, yeah?” Louis nodded and stood up, lifting Jacob up easily and carrying him inside. Harry followed and together they helped Jacob into his pyjamas, setting him into bed with Ernest for the night. They kissed him goodbye and he was asleep before they even left the room, the exhaustion of the day taking over.

“Mum, we’re off home now,” Louis said as they walked into the kitchen. Harry grabbed a couple of black bin bags by the back door and headed out to put them into the wheelie bin down the driveway, impressing Jay and Dan with his actions. “Thanks for a great day, we’ve had a fab time.”

“Yeah, thank you both for making me feel so welcome, it means a lot,” Harry said as he walked back in, hugging Jay quickly and shaking Dan’s hand. “You’ve got a great family, you really have.”

“Glad to have you as part of it, love,” Jay said honestly, making both of them blush. Harry took his keys from the kitchen counter and slipped his hand into Louis’ back pocket, keeping him close. Jay and Dan thanked Louis and Harry again for coming and they made their way out, Louis deciding to drive home as he’d only had 2 small beers much earlier in the day, whereas Lottie had been feeding Harry cocktails for a while that afternoon.

They drove in silence, the radio on low in the background. The roads were quiet since it was getting late, so the drive home didn't take too long. They’d decided together to go back to Harry’s before they left, preferring Harry’s queen sized bed and walk in shower to Louis’ more humble house. Harry said he loved staying there, loved the feel of it being a family home but sometimes Louis liked to break away from that and just let them be Louis and Harry for a while, and not worry about his son who he knew was in the safest of hands with his Mum and Dan.

Louis parked the car out the front of his house, and Harry quickly told Louis to wait there while he jogged around, pulling open the door for his boyfriend.

“Such a gentleman,” Louis teased as his feet hit the floor, achey after a day out of the house. He could feel his shoulders had caught the sun as well where he’d sat topless in the sun earlier in the day, and was hoping Harry would have something he could put on them. Harry took his hand and walked them into the house, locking it behind them both. He spun around and pulled Louis into a passionate kiss, his tongue flicking into Louis’ mouth, enjoying the feel of Louis’ soft lips against his. They kissed for a few minutes until Louis winced when Harry grabbed his shoulder quite roughly, and Harry pulled away, worried.

“Hey, did I hurt you?” he asked, holding Louis at arms length, eyes raking up and down to make sure he was okay.

“Caught the sun earlier when I played footie with Jake and Ernie,” he said, rolling his shoulders. Harry nodded and ran up the stairs, then hollered down for Louis to join him upstairs.

“Lay down,” Harry instructed, watching with hungry eyes as Louis pulled his top off and collapsed on top of the covers onto his stomach, head resting on his linked hands. Harry climbed on top of him, sitting down carefully on the bottom of Louis’ back. Louis heard the bottle of whatever it was Harry had got opening, and then he flinched slightly as the cool liquid made contact with his back via Harry’s hands. Harry worked them around his pink skin gently, rubbing in soft circular motions and Louis could feel his eyes fluttering shut with how good it felt. “Good?” Harry asked, and Louis just mumbled something uninteligible and nodded.

Louis must have nodded off because the next thing he knew, he was stirring in Harry’s bedroom, and he was all alone. He got up and stretched, the skin already feeling less tight and sore than it did earlier thanks to Harry’s attention, and he walked quietly downstairs, stopping slightly when he heard Harry talking to someone.

“...Yeah okay then Jay, I’ll let Lou know but call us again if you need to okay? Tell Jake we love him, and we’ll see him tomorrow. Nah, he’s fine, gonna go up to bed with him soon, he’s been asleep an hour and I miss him. Soppy, huh? Okay, bye love, and thanks.” Louis heard the sound of the phone being put back and he walked in, a questioning expression on his face.

“Hey gorgeous,” Harry said, coming to stand in front of Louis and kissing him. “Sleep well? How’s your back?”

“All good babe, was that my Mum on the phone?” Harry nodded.

“Yeah, your phone rang and it was Jay so I answered it, hope that was okay?” Louis nodded so Harry carried on talking. “She just said Jake had woken up with a cough so she’d given him a bit of medicine, but he’s gone straight back to sleep. I think he’s alright but you can call her if you want?”

“Nah, trust you, she’ll call again if she needs to,” Louis said, resting his head on Harry’s chest again. “Come back to bed, love.” As they headed upstairs, Louis was feeling a little weird. He had spent an amazing day with his lovely family, and Harry had slotted so easily into that. He’d chatted to everyone, made sure to spend plenty of time with the children and adults alike, taking an interest in everything anyone spoke to him about. Louis felt like today had been a turning point somehow, and he knew there was something dying to be spoken, words on the tip of his tongue that were constantly trying to force their way out.

Louis went to use the bathroom, still mulling things over in his head and by the time he came out, Harry was undressed down to his boxers and was seated on the bed, back against the headboard. He had a small head scarf wrapped around his growing hair keeping it out of his face, and was tapping away on his phone, not having noticed Louis walk back into the room just yet. Louis just stood and took in the sight, Harry’s beautiful body, his tattoos, the curve of his waist, his long legs laid out in front of him.

Louis pulled off his jeans and climbed onto the bed and sat himself in Harry’s lap, chest to chest. Both of them were only in their underwear now but it just added to intimacy of the moment. Harry reached across and put his phone down, looping his arms around Louis’ waist then, looking at him. They were close, but still it didn't feel awkward. Harry smiled softly, just the corners of his mouth turning up, and Louis reached up, running a finger over the little dimple appearing in his cheek. Harry’s hands were gently stroking Louis’ sides, and the moment felt precious, one to be treasured.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Louis whispered, letting Harry catch his lips in a very quick kiss, before pulling back and settling himself down again. Harry just nodded, big green eyes fixed on Louis’ own.

“You can tell me anything, love,” Harry said softly, licking over his lips.

Louis’ heart was pounding as he prepared himself to say the words that had been on the tip of his tongue for so long now. He knew Harry would accept them, possibly even return them, but there was still that nagging bit of self-doubt in the back of his mind that was screaming at him not to do this. Louis gathered all of his courage and pushed those thoughts back down, keeping his gaze on Harry as he started to speak.

“I’m in love with you, Harry.” The words were out there, and there was no taking them back. Harry just blinked, not breaking their locked gazes. He watched as, slowly but surely, Harry’s lips curled up into the most beautiful smile Louis thought he had ever seen.

“Well that makes me so happy cos I’ve been in love with you for a while Louis.” Harry traced his hands up and cradled Louis’ face between his palms and pulled him forwards into the most gentle, careful kiss, their lips working with each others so easily. The look that those words put on Louis’ face made Harry think he wanted to say those words forever, to make him smile like that every single day of their lives, to be able to make him that happy so easily.

“I’m not scared anymore,” Louis admitted with a shy smile, grabbing Harry’s hand and pressing it to his heart, letting Harry feel the steady beat below inside his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Lou. So much.” They kissed again, trying to put their love and passion for each other into that kiss, tongues massaging each others, feeling up and down their bodies, the moment becoming more heated. Louis started moving his hips in small circles on Harry’s lap, feeling Harry’s arousal growing underneath him, turning him on more too, and it was then he knew he was ready for more in that respect too. He wasn’t scared at last and he wanted Harry in every way, wanted to make him his in the last way left.

“Want you,” he mumbled into the kiss, guiding Harry’s hand down to cup his hardening length. He felt Harry’s breath hitch as he touched, palming gently over it before slipping a hand inside Louis’ boxers, taking his cock in his hand. “Wanna be with you in that way, need you-”

Harry swooped forwards then, arms tightly wrapped around Louis as he flipped them over, pressing Louis’ back into the mattress. He pushed his hips down roughly, their cocks brushing together behind the fabric of their boxers, and they both groaned at the friction, needing more and at the same time, wanting to try and slow it down and savour the moment. Harry propped himself up on his elbows and stared down into Louis’ eyes, taking in his blown pupils, how his hips were still bucking up into Harry’s own.

He bent down and Louis shivered as Harry’s hot breath wisped over his ear, desperately wanting to know what Harry was going to say.

“Want you inside me, want to feel you,” Harry murmured, and that was it. Louis was gone. He’d been unsure up until then as to who would do what, Louis knowing that he would do whatever made Harry happy but after hearing Harry beg to have Louis inside him, there was nothing he wanted more. “I want you to make love to me, Louis.”

“Yes, fuck yes, want that so much-” Louis replied as Harry hooked his fingers in the waistband of Louis’ boxers and pulled them off. He almost screamed as Harry suddenly took his hard length between his lips and started sucking, looking up at Louis from underneath his eyelashes, and Louis didn't think he’d ever been more turned on. “Oh shit- Harry, my god, I can’t-” He thrashed around on the sheets as Harry did something amazing with his tongue, and before too long, Louis was yanking at his hair, trying to pull him off. “Harry- stop, if you don’t I’m gonna come and I wanna be inside you for that-”

Harry groaned loudly at Louis’ words and nodded, kissing the tip again before he sat up and pulled his own boxers off, the pair of them naked at last. He came up and kissed Louis’ lips before reaching over to the bedside drawer and grabbing out a bottle of lube and a few condoms, chucking them onto the bedside table. Louis raised at an eyebrow at the fact Harry had got more than one condom out but then nodded, realising they were probably going to be needed if how he was feeling was anything to go by.

“Want me to…” he trailed off, hating this awkward bit when you hadn’t had sex with someone before and didn't quite know what they preferred. He bit his lip and waited for Harry to answer, cheeks flushing with the anticipation of what they were going to do.

“Yes, I want you to,” Harry said as he laid back on the bed, pulling Louis over and between his legs. It seemed Harry had lost any and all inhibitions, and was wanting Louis more than anything right then. He spread his legs and Louis couldn’t help but glance down, taking in the sight of Harry so exposed for him, and only him. Louis took the lube and nervously coated a couple of his fingers in it. He hadn’t done this for too long and so badly wanted to make it good for Harry.

Harry must sensed his nerves as he grabbed Louis’ wrist and forced him to look him. “We don’t have to do this Lou, if you’re not ready-”

“I do, Harry I want this-” Louis got out, but he stumbled over his words, still feeling nervous. “I just, I haven’t done this for a while and I want it to be good for you.”

“It will be, cos it’s you. It’s you I want Lou, I want this with you. Don’t be nervous Lou. I love you, I want to be close with you like this.” Louis nodded and settled himself down again, Harry draping a thigh over his own now, and Louis touched it gently with the hand not covered in lube. He ran the back of one finger down the side of Harry’s hard length, smiling slightly as it twitched under his touch and let his hand dip lower, to where he’d never ventured before. There was an intensity to the moment, the way Harry was looking at him like he wanted to devour him, and Louis just trembled at what he was about to do.

He didn't break Harry’s gaze as he circled his rim with a lubed up finger and slowly pressed forwards. Harry didn't make any noise, but he let his head fall back as Louis breached him,  a little overwhelmed by the sensation himself now.

“God Louis-” he gasped out, reaching out for Louis’ free hands with one of his, grabbing it roughly when he made contact with it. “More-”

Louis’ eyes widened as he nodded, slotting in a second finger next to his first, watching Harry’s body stretch to accommodate him, the way Harry scrunched his eyes up at the burn. Louis couldn’t tear his gaze away but kept moving his fingers in and out of Harry’s body, trying to ignore the insistent throbbing of his own cock, desperate for some kind of touch. Louis eventually gave Harry a third when he asked for it, but soon enough Harry grabbed his wrist again.

“Enough, I’m ready - want you Lou,” he panted, reaching across for a condom and handing it over to Louis. Louis’ shaky hands struggled to rip open the packet so Harry took over, tearing it with his teeth and sitting up slightly to roll it onto Louis, kissing him before he laid back down again.

“You wanna be on your back?” Louis questioned, checking Harry was comfortable and where he wanted to be.

“Wanna look at you, be able to kiss you,” Harry whispered, the moment feeling special to both of them now. Louis sat on his knees between Harry’s legs and held his hand, the other guiding his cock into place, hovering until Harry nodded and he slowly started pressing forwards. “Oh god, Lou-”

“Fuck Harry - so tight, feel so good-” Louis stuttered as he bottomed out, not moving for a second, giving Harry time to adjust. He laid flat on top of Harry now, the two intimately connected and he kissed him, trying to press all of his love for the man underneath him into him through his lips, hoping he realised just what this meant to Louis. Their tongues gently brushed each others, neither wanting to be rough and hard, treating the moment with the reverence it deserved. “I love you - fuck, love you babe-”

Louis slowly started to move his hips, Harry still holding one of his hands as Louis’ other one trailed down his body, holding onto his hip, keeping him somewhat in place. Louis was hoping he’d be able to hold off his orgasm for a little while longer, already feeling the sensation burning inside him, the feel of finally being inside Harry so much already.

“I love you, love you so much Louis,” Harry said as they broke yet another kiss, one leg coming up to hook around Louis’ waist, resting on his back. They moved together in harmony, the noises of kisses and deep breaths filling Harry’s bedroom as they chased their releases, Louis rocking into Harry harder as they became used to each other, Harry’s body allowing Louis in with ease now. “So close, gonna- ah!”

Louis could feel the moment Harry climaxed, his body clenching around his cock still pressed deep inside Harry’s body and he continued to fuck Harry through it, leaning down to kiss Harry as his back arched, chasing Louis’ touch, his affection. He began to thrust harder now, rhythm a little sloppy as he was nearing orgasm himself, and Harry’s eyes flickered open, full of such love and affection that it sent Louis over the edge himself.

“God, love you, Harry, mine-” he cried as he came, spilling hard into the condom, not stopping his thrusts, Harry encouraging it as he reached his hands down, grabbing Louis’ cheeks and pulling him into him, and eventually Louis stilled, buried inside Harry, feeling more connected to Harry then than he ever had anyone else. They kissed lazily for a few minutes until Louis realised he really had to pull out, and held on to the top of the condom as he slowly pulled out, tying it off and throwing it onto the floor before he snuggled back down in Harry’s arms.

“That was perfect,” Harry said softly, still kissing Louis’ head, their naked bodies pressed together from their foreheads down to their toes where Louis’ feet were tangled with Harry’s larger ones. In his previous relationships, Louis hadn’t been a fan of being naked with the other person for too long but it felt right with Harry. He shivered as Harry ran his hands up and down Louis’ sides until they came to rest naturally on his waist.

“I do love you, Harry. I meant it, you take the fear away, you make me want to give you my heart. I trust you with it, with everything.”

“You really don’t know what that means to me. I won’t let you down baby, I promise. Love you, god, I just wanna tell the world you’re mine, Lou.”

“Yours,” Louis whispered, pulling Harry back into yet another kiss, thinking this was probably the turning moment in his life, the one night that was going to change things irrevocably. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face at that thought. Harry Styles had come into his life and turned it upside down. He couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally. Worth the wait? Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts! 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading. x


	13. Finally Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and the Tomlinson boys enjoy more family time. Harry goes on national TV for an interview to promote his new song, and maybe more...

“Jacob, will you please stop kicking the back of my seat! This is Harry’s car and if you damage it, he won’t want to take you anywhere anymore. Just sit still, please. You’re a big boy, act like it please.” Louis huffed and sat back in his seat, arms folded across his chest defensively. Harry glanced over from behind the wheel and rested a hand on Louis’ thigh, trying to calm him down. He caught Jacob’s eye in the rearview mirror, and smiled softly, wanting to try and settle the mood before they got to his parents house.

“Lou, chill out babe. He’s not doing any damage, he might be feeling a bit nervous about this too. Love you, you’re so pretty.” Louis couldn’t help but laugh at Harry’s methods of distraction, and he turned around in seat, smiling at Jacob, trying to settle the tension. Harry soon pulled up at the kerb outside his parent’s house and pulled on the handbrake, getting out the car and picking Jacob up, keeping the boy on his hip.

Harry had never brought a boy home to his parents before, not in a official capacity as his boyfriend, but despite this, he didn't feel scared or nervous. It felt right, to bring Jacob and Louis into his home, to meet his parents and his sister properly, like they belonged somehow. He kept Jacob on his hip as he grabbed their overnight bag from the car, and handed it to Louis as they made their way up the path. It was chilly, so they hurried, and the door opened before they could even ring the bell.

“Come in, come in, gosh it’s so cold today!” Anne said, opening the door and stepping out of the way to let the family inside. Louis shivered as he stepped into the invitingly warm hallway, and shrugged his coat off, letting Anne take it from him and hang it up on the coat rack on the wall. Jacob buried his head in Harry’s neck, suddenly nervous. Harry whispered something in his ear that no-one but them could hear, and Jacob giggled, nodding lightly. Harry put him down onto the floor and took his hand, smiling at his mum.

“Mum, I’d love you to meet my boyfriend Louis, and this is my best buddy Jacob.” Louis smiled at her as she stepped forwards and wrapped him up in a quick cuddle.

“So lovely to see you again Louis, I’m so happy Harry’s brought you home at last.” She squeezed his upper arms gently before she stepped away, crouching in front of Jacob in that way mums had with younger children. “Hi Jacob, I’m Anne, Harry’s mum. I was just in the middle of making an apple crumble for pudding today, would you like to help me finish it off? I’ve got the messy bit to do still!”

Jacob looked wide eyed at Louis who nodded, and he grinned as Jacob put his little hand into Anne’s and went off with her easily to the kitchen, and soon all he and Harry could hear was their little chatter. Harry held Louis’ hand as they headed through to the sitting room. Louis smiled at the sight of a few of Harry’s awards on the mantelpiece, a Gold disc for his album on the wall along with a lot of baby pictures of Harry and his sister.

“Ah, Robin! How are you? Missed you,” Harry said as he hugged the smiley gentleman sat on an armchair. They slapped backs for a second and Louis loved seeing Harry interacting with his family. “Rob, this is Louis, my better half. Louis, my dad Robin.” Louis shook Robin’s hand, and took a seat on the sofa along from Harry, who happily rested his feet in Louis’ lap, smiling when Louis started tracing around his ankle bones under the hem of his jeans, a comforting gesture Louis never really thought about doing. He froze when he realised what he was doing, but Harry jiggled his leg until Louis continued.

Things went well between the family as they chatted while Anne and Jacob finished preparing the dinner, the little boy standing on a little stool next to Anne, listening as she taught him how to peel carrots, and then make gravy. Things had gotten a little awkward when Anne had stumbled across them kissing in the kitchen when they were meant to be setting the table, but when Louis and Harry, with red cheeks and linked hands, had confided in her that they loved each other, she’d cried and hugged the pair of them. It was a moment Harry knew he wouldn’t forget, and he’d never been more in love than when he watched Louis seamlessly interact with the people who meant the most to him in the world.

They’d stayed the night, Louis and Harry sharing the double bed in Harry’s old childhood room, Jacob in the spare room down the hall. Louis was convinced Jacob would end up in bed with them but luckily he’d settled easily, asking Robin and Anne to read him a story before he fell asleep. Louis had had to calm Harry down when he’d got a little horny, refusing to have sex in the room next to his boyfriend’s parents, and Harry had had to settle for quiet blowjobs under the covers, Louis promising to make it up to him when they got home the next day.

*****

When they got home the following day, they had decided together that now they were officially a couple in every sense, they needed to tell Jacob. They’d sat him down after lunch and explained to him that they were boyfriends now, that Harry was around to stay and that they loved each other very much. Jacob couldn’t have been happier and had hugged and kissed them both excitedly, putting big grins on both men’s faces.

Louis had laughed as Jacob told him he could stay in his room with him, that he’d share his wardrobe with Harry and even make room on his shelf for some of Harry’s cuddly toys. Harry had very nicely told him thank you, but he’d share Louis’ bedroom since it was a bit bigger. Jacob had pouted for a minute, but when Harry had promised him lots of sleepovers at his house, the sadness was forgotten, excitement setting in instead. He’d even run upstairs and packed a bag there and then, Louis having to leave the room to calm himself down when Jacob plopped the suitcase down at Harry’s feet, telling him he was ready to go and to please hurry up as they were wasting precious sleepover time.

Louis went back to work when Jacob went back to school, and Harry returned to the studio, telling Louis he had a lot of new inspiration for some new songs. Luckily, the studio wasn’t too far away, and it meant they spent most nights together, Harry arriving home in time for dinner each night while Jacob was sat at the table colouring in or practising his reading with Louis as he chopped the vegetables.

“Can I read to you please Hazzy?” Jacob asked one night, and Harry nodded. He held Jacob’s hand as they walked through to the sitting room and the little boy curled up on his lap, Harry listening patiently as he sounded out the new words. Louis was impressed by how Harry was asking questions as Jacob read, ensuring he understood what he was reading, and the giggles that came from the pair as they enjoyed time together really warmed his heart. The washing machine beeped then and Louis hurried to transfer the wet load from there to the tumble dryer, smiling as he shoved handfuls of his and Harry’s clothing in, feeling a bit domestic in that moment.

Harry more often than not chose to stay at Louis’ house, saying he liked waking up with Louis, being able to occasionally take Jacob to school and help with the day to day life of being a parent. Louis couldn’t fathom why that was remotely enticing to a 24 year old man but went with it, loving waking up in someone’s arms, kissing them until the sun rose, having slow sex under the covers before Jacob woke up. In that respect, they’d only gotten closer. Once they’d broken through that final intimacy barrier, it seemed they couldn’t be stopped, and were having sex at every opportunity. Harry crowded him up against worktops, doors, bathroom sinks whispering filthy words into Louis’ ears, telling him he couldn’t get enough of him, and Louis had thought he’d never had so much sex in his life, even when he was a teenager.

Louis had spent a bit of time at the studio with him, learning how the whole song-writing process worked, and they’d even taken Jacob with them a few weekends, the little boy completely fascinated by the instruments, the mixing desks and microphones dotted around. Harry had let him sing along to Only Angel, recording the performance with Jacob in one of the recording boots and made him a little CD, printing out a little photo of the two of them for the cover. It was now Jacob’s most prized possession, and he listened to it over and over again, much to Harry’s delight.

 

 

The next few months flew by, and before Harry or Louis knew it, it was early November, and Harry was being booked onto the Graham Norton show. He’d almost finished writing his third album, apparently able to churn out song after song with ease and he was thrilled with how the writing was going. He had played Louis a few tracks, getting his opinion but there was a couple of songs he was keeping under wraps, one of which was his new single.

Jay and Dan had said they would look after Jacob while Harry and Louis headed to the studios to film the show, knowing it would be a very late night. Louis had even managed to get the following day off work, agreeing to go on a school trip he usually wouldn’t have to go on in order to wangle the time off but to him, it was worth it. He sat in the passenger seat of Harry’s car as they drove together, heading into the heart of the city and to the TV studios where the interview would be being filmed, ready to be aired the following night on BBC1.

“So are you seriously not going to tell me anything about this song you’re singing tonight?” Louis questioned, reaching for another couple of Haribo from the packet shoved in the drinks holder between himself and Harry. He pulled a face as he chewed on a yellow one and pushed a gummy heart between Harry’s lips, quickly pulling his fingers back when Harry licked out over them. “Gross. So. Tell me. Now.”

“Nope,” Harry said in a teasing manner, knowing how desperate Louis was to know something, anything about it. What he couldn’t tell him was that the song was for him, was inspired by him and Harry wanted the first time he heard it to be special. Louis was going to be sat front row in the audience for the filming and while Harry was nervous, it felt right somehow his boyfriend would be there for what he was going to do tonight. “Patience is a virtue my love.”

“Think you took my virtue last night,” Louis mumbled, rolling his eyes at Harry’s refusal to share anything.

“Oh shush, you loved it, don’t deny it,” Harry teased, flicking his eyebrows up and down making Louis laugh. “You love it when I do that thing with my tongue and make you scream-”

“Alright!” Louis cried out, wanting to stop Harry before he got too turned on again. They’d been up until the small hours of the morning, enjoying having the place to themselves while Jacob began night one of his sleepover at Jay’s, and they’d certainly made the most of the solitude, teasing, touching and making each other come over and over until Harry rode Louis until he saw stars. Since they’d first had sex at the end of the summer, it was like the floodgates had opened, and they hadn’t been able to stop themselves. Louis had never felt so free, or felt so much need to be close with another person, but Harry made him want everything and more. Sometimes he worried they were moving too fast, becoming too co-dependent, then he spoke to his mum or Zayn who talked sense into him, saying that when you found the right person for you, you just knew. And boy, did Louis know.

Harry eventually pulled their car up at the security barrier and signed some forms, allowing them entry. They got out of the car together, aware of the shouts and calls from some fans along the fence, and Louis was suddenly reminded of the times he’d spent at the arenas when he was getting to know Harry, visiting as only a new friend, unsure where this journey would end up taking him. Now, he walked around the car and proudly took Harry’s hand in his own as they headed into the studios, bags hung from their shoulders, a closeness between them that Louis and Harry both adored.

“Shit, is that Graham?!” Louis squeaked, feeling a little bit nervous now. While he had been thrilled when Harry told him he was invited to come and watch the filming of the show, he didn’t put much thought into the fact that he’d be meeting other famous people as well, and now he felt a little overwhelmed.

“Harry!” Graham called, stepping over and quickly hugging the man. “So pleased you could make it, I’m thrilled you chose my little show to come and perform your new song on.” Harry grinned and nodded back at him.

“Of course Graham, you know I love coming back here,” he said, dimple popping in his cheek as he made easy conversation with the TV veteran. “Um, Graham, I’d love for you to meet my boyfriend Louis, he’s come to watch the filming because, well, I miss him too much when he’s not around.” Louis blushed heavily but took Graham’s extended hand, shaking it with a smile.

“Lovely to meet the man who’s captured Harry’s heart and broken hearts around the world,” Graham teased, and they all laughed at that. “Seriously though Louis, it’s good to meet you. You’re okay with everything that’s happening today then, in the interview?” Louis nodded. He and Harry had discussed it at length, Harry wanting to make sure Louis was 100% on board with the final, official confirmation of their relationship on national television. Louis felt a bit worried about it, the backlash he might receive but more than anything, he wanted the world to know he was Harry’s, and that Harry was his. His, and Jacob’s.

They chatted for a few more minutes, Louis being introduced to so many people he couldn’t keep track as they navigated the labyrinthine corridors of the BBC TV Studios. There, Louis met people he’d never dreamt of, sat and watched as Harry and his stylist picked out the outfit for tonight. In the end, Harry went with a bold choice, a black satin Gucci suit complete with a dragon motif up one leg. It took everything Louis had not to jump him as he got changed into it, checking it for size before slipping back into his clothes. Louis smirked as he realised the t-shirt Harry was wearing under his hoodie was his own, and he liked how proprietorial over Harry it made him feel.

Louis was told to remain in Harry’s small dressing room while he rehearsed his performance. As much as Louis wanted to sneak out and see it, he knew Harry would be devastated if he knew he’d seen it before the actual show so decided to Facetime Jacob and his mum. He chatted for a while, pleased to see that Jacob had gotten a certificate at school for his excellent reading, and he explained they would all sit and watch the interview together when it had been shown on the TV, Louis making sure it was appropriate for Jacob to watch first, of course.

Harry had come in just before the call ended, and he chatted to Jacob, praising him for the certificate, telling him he’d most certainly earnt an ice-cream for that which made Jacob a bit too excited for the time of day. Harry had hurried to apologise to Jay who was rolling her eyes in the background as Jacob bounced up and down on his seat, laughing as she reassured Harry it was fine, that she’d get Jacob to bed without a problem. Louis wasn’t so sure.

Before they knew it, Harry was being suited up again, and was then sat in the hair and make-up chair, having his famous locks coiffed, and make up spread over his face. This was probably the part of TV that he hated, he disliked the feel of the cloggy powders and creams on his face, far preferring the fresh face look. Louis, though, held his cheeks and told him he looked beautiful before kissing him, getting scolded by the make-up artist for potentially ruining her hard work. Harry had looked her in the eye and grabbed Louis in a rough kiss again, making her laugh despite herself.

“Good luck babe,” Louis had said, wrapping Harry up in a hug as they made their way to the studio. Harry was to sit in the green room backstage while he waited for Graham to introduce him, and Louis was to sit in the audience in his prime spot, ready to watch his boyfriend’s declaration. Butterflies flapped around in his tummy at the thought, and he pressed a quick kiss to Harry’s lips. “I’m so proud of you, you know. But if you decide it isn’t the time when you get up there, I won’t be sad or upset. Just do what’s right for you, yeah? Love you, whatever happens.”

“I love you too sweetheart. You’re what’s right for me,” Harry said, taking Louis’ hands in his own. “I’m not scared, Lou. I told you, this is the right thing, I want to be honest with everyone, put it out there in my own words.” They kissed gently as Harry was being called away. “Oh, and Lou?” he called, as Louis stepped away.

“Yes love?”

“You said I’ve gotta do what’s right for me?” Louis frowned then nodded, wondering what Harry was going on about. “You’re right for me, so I’m gonna do you later.” He stuck his tongue out, ignoring the dropped jaw of the assistant waiting to take him to the green room, leaving a gobsmacked Louis stood there, cheeks fire engine red as he hurried towards the studio entrance and to his seat. That boyfriend of his was going to be the death of him.

 

*****

“Now, we come to our next guest. He’s a singer who has recently toured the world with his second album, one that has just hit Platinum status here in the UK. His past two singles, _Only Angel_ and _Sign of the Times_ were number one hits, and tonight, he’s here to set a few things straight, as well as giving us an exclusive first performance of his brand new single. Please welcome, Mr Harry Styles!”

The audience clapped and cheered as Harry made his way up onto the stage, hugging Graham and greeting the other guests on the sofa before he took a seat next to Graham, smiling. His eyes quickly raked over the audience and he winked as he locked eyes with Louis, feeling calmer simply because of his presence. Louis looked on with such fondness, ignoring the whispers of the people sat next to him as they realised it was him Harry was looking at. The audience died down and Graham began his chat.

They talked for a while about Harry’s first album, then how everything had blown up for him once _Only Angel_ had been released. Harry chatted with such passion about his music, telling Graham about his writing process, how he’d taken himself off to Jamaica to write the majority of the tracks, away from the public eye and the expectation he felt weighed heavily on his shoulders.

“So, did you jet off to warmer climes to write and record this third album, Harry?” Graham asked, as Harry leant forward to sip on his glass of his water. He knew that this was his segue into the most important part of the interview, and he so badly wanted to get it right.

“No, I decided to stay in the UK for this one, Graham,” he answered honestly, adjusting his suit jacket as he sat up straighter, a serious expression on his face.

“Jamaica just not got the pull of Manchester, then?” Graham teased, and Harry smiled back, eyes flitting over to Louis again, who just nodded slightly in encouragement, knowing what was coming.

“Well, not so much the city but there’s two people here I wasn’t prepared to leave behind this time around,” Harry said confidently, suddenly feeling like this was just right, that this was meant to happen.

“Oh? Do tell Uncle Graham more...” Graham joked, as a smattering of laughter rang up around the audience.

“Well, I think people know from my Twitter account I met a couple of lads earlier this year at my Manchester show, Jacob and his dad, Louis. It was Jacob’s birthday, and I noticed his badge so I got the audience to sing him happy birthday, like I usually do if I notice someone. Well, I invited them backstage, and we’ve got to know each other since then.”

“Ah, so your new bestie Jacob wasn’t happy to let you fly halfway around the world without him?” The audience cooed as pictures of Harry and Jacob together filled the screens behind Graham, a few candids Louis had taken in America, and some selfies Harry had taken at the park, and even in their back garden.

“Well, I don’t think he’d have liked it, no, but that’s not the whole reason I stayed,” Harry said, taking in a deep breath, knowing this was it. He found Louis’ gaze again and they smiled softly at each other, ignoring the stares of everyone around them, including the rapt guests on the sofa, wondering what on earth was going on.

“I fell in love, Graham, with Louis. He stole my heart, and I haven’t wanted to be away from him.” The audience cheered as Harry finished, but shushed when they realised he had more to say. Even Graham sat up, understanding the gravity of the moment, and proceeding with the question he knew Harry wanted out there.

“So, you’re gay, Harry?”

“Yes, Graham. I’ve never hidden who I am, I’ve just never had a reason to admit it to the world before. But Louis has given me that reason. He’s made me proud to be a gay man, to love him as fiercely as he loves me in return, and he makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. If all this disappeared tomorrow, I’d be fine as long as I have him and Jacob by my side.”

“Wow, well congratulations, Harry. He must be a pretty special to prompt such a huge declaration. You obviously know this is going to get a lot of press attention, you coming out and admitting you have a boyfriend?”

“Yes, we discussed it and decided it’s what we want. We don’t want to hide our love, and we shouldn’t have to. If people don’t like it, it’s their loss, not ours. And pretty special? He’s the most special person in the whole world to me. He just, he lights up any room he’s in, he makes me smile every single morning I wake up to his face, and he’s welcomed me into his family, and I can never thank him enough for what he’s done, but...” He took another breath, steeling himself.

“He loves me for who I am. With him, I’m just Harry, or Hazzy as Jacob likes to call me. We tend to stay in with Jake at night instead of going out and I love it. They’re my port in a storm, the light that calls me home every night. I love being with them both, I love going to bed with Lou and waking up with him every day, having Coco Pops with Jake at stupid o’clock in the morning. He- no, they both don’t make me want to change who I am, and I love them both so much for that. I love Louis, and I’m proud to sit here tonight and tell the world he’s my boyfriend, my best friend, my everything.”

Louis couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks at Harry’s words, trying to carefully lift up an arm to wipe them away on his sleeve, but of course, Harry saw. Before Louis knew what was happening, Harry was up out of seat and stalking towards Louis, pulling him up and into the tightest of cuddles.

“I’m sorry, just need everyone to know why I love you, and I do, so much, love you always Lou,” he whispered into his ears, words for Louis to hear only as he comforted him.

“Love you too, you soppy bastard,” Louis chuckled, sniffing as Harry wiped his tears away with his gentle thumbs, laying the softest of kisses to his lips. “Now get up there, I want to hear this bloody song.” Harry kissed him quickly again just because he could and ran back on stage, blushing slightly at what he’d just done.

“Right, have we all got ourselves together? Anybody need a tissue?” Everyone laughed at that, breaking the emotional tension somewhat. “Okay, so now you’re all emotional Harry, I’m gonna send you over there to sing your new song for us. Can you tell us a bit about it?”

“Well, I wrote it a few months ago, just after Louis told me he loved me for the first time. I’d been there for a while, I knew I was in love with him but I wanted to wait for him to hopefully get there too. The song is called _Strong_ , and well, I think it’s pretty self explanatory when you hear the lyrics.” Harry just shrugged and looked a little embarrassed then at how obvious in his love for Louis he had been that night. “”He makes me strong, he makes me brave. I don’t want to run away when I’m with him.”

“I feel a weepy coming on. Right, ladies and gentleman, for the first time ever in a TV exclusive, here’s Harry Styles with his brand new song, Strong!” Everyone cheered and got to their feet as Harry made his way over to the small stage, picking up the acoustic guitar from the stand and hooked it over his shoulder. He cleared his throat and began to strum slowly, closing his eyes as he began to sing. Louis just sat, wide-eyed, and smiled gratefully as the older woman sat next to him reached across and took his hand in hers, a small piece of comfort as he readied himself for this.

“ _My hands, your hands_

_Tied up like two ships_

_Drifting, weightless_  
_Waves try to break it_  
_I'd do anything to save it_  
_Why is it so hard to say it?_

_My heart, your heart_  
_Sit tight like book ends_  
_Pages between us_  
_Written with no end_  
_So many words we're not saying_  
_Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone_  
_You make me strong <.em>_

__

_I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"_  
_But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love_  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker_  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong_  
_That you make me strong?_

_Think of how much_  
_Love that's been wasted_  
_People always_  
_Trying to escape it_  
_Move on to stop their heart breaking_  
_But there's nothing I'm running from_  
_You make me strong_

_I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"_  
_But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love_  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker_  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong?_

_So, baby, hold on to my heart, oh, oh_  
_Need you to keep me from falling apart_

_I'll always hold on_  
_'Cause you make me strong_  
  
_I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"_  
_But I don't care_  
_I'm not scared of love_  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker_  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong?_

_I'm sorry if I say, "I need you"_  
_But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love_  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker_  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong_  
_That you make me strong?”_

Louis wasn’t even bothering to hide the tears that were falling as Harry sang the final chorus, looking right at Louis, singing every single word to him. He watched as Harry’s hands shook as he strummed the last few chords and Harry stood, hands in front of him as he bowed slightly, thanking the audience for their whoops and cheers, many of them emotional as they understood now what the song meant to him.

Louis smiled at him, tears shining in Harry’s eyes as he mouthed at Louis – “You make me strong.” Louis just grinned even wider, and mouthed back “I love you,” well aware of the cameras on him now. Harry let the applause sink in for a few more minutes before he headed back over to the sofa, the interview continuing but Louis was unable to focus on anything except the lyrics that were whirling around in his mind, words that Harry had written just for him.

Nothing had ever meant so much to him, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to tell Harry just what that song meant to him. That and the fact he had so publicly declared his love for him. But he was going to do him damndest to try.

*****

“Fuck, oh my god-“ Louis moaned as Harry slammed his back up against the door of the hotel suite they were staying at. They’d managed to keep a modicum of sensibility about themselves on the drive back and in the lift up to their room, but now they were alone, all bets were off.

Louis’ legs were wrapped around Harry’s waist, and he groaned as Harry pushed their hips together, his hard cock bulging out the front of his satin trousers that were doing nothing to help contain his growing erection.

“Feel what you do to me? How hard I am for you?” Harry practically growled out, grinding his hips down against Louis, capturing his mouth in another kiss. Their tongues tangled together, licking and tasting each other, any shred of decency gone now, both in a haze of needing each other, needing to get off. “Want you so fucking much Louis, always want you-“

“Want you too,” Louis said, sucking on Harry’s bottom lip, pushing back into Harry’s hand that were clutching at his cheeks, hoisting him up a little higher then. “Get me naked, want- oh fuck Harry-“ Harry started sucking at his neck then, and Louis let his head fall back, slamming into the door with a thud as Harry pulled off with a pop, licking over the dark purple bruise with his tongue, sending shivers down Louis’ spine.

“What do you want, tell me Lou, it’s yours-“

“Fuck me, Harry.” Harry stilled and pulled his head back slightly, breath caught in his lungs as he let Louis’ words sink in. “You told everyone tonight I’m yours. Now show me. Make me yours.” Harry could do nothing but nod, pulling Louis away from the door and kissing him as he carried him across the floor, laying him down gently on the bed and with such love and care Louis almost wanted to cry from how special Harry made him feel.

Harry stood at the foot of the bed and threw his clothes off, not caring the designer items were now in a creased heap on the floor. He took Louis’ hands, sitting him up as he undressed him, taking each item off and kissing the bare skin of Louis’ body as it was revealed, determined to take his time and treasure every second of this. He hadn’t been inside of Louis before, and he wanted it to be special, to make him feel so good, to show him how much he loved him and wanted him.

When at last both Louis and Harry were naked, Harry crawled onto the bed, dropping down on top of Louis, bracketing his body with his own as he kissed him tenderly, lips parting to let Louis’ tongue slip between them, one hand cupping his face, stroking gently over his defined cheekbone. Louis’ stubble felt amazing as always, and Harry wished in a way he could feel that on his inner thighs where he liked it best, but tonight was all about Louis.

“You sure you want this?” Harry said as he raised himself up slightly, stroking down Louis’ bare torso with his fingertips, prompting Louis to shudder from the touch. “I don’t mind if-“ Louis surged upwards and kissed Harry, effectively stopping his worrying and his words.

“I do. I want you to have all of me, Harry. I love you, and I want this. I want you. I want you always. Fuck, I really do, you’re my everything-“ he looked shocked as he looked up into Harry’s green eyes to see tears swimming there, threatening to fall. He wiped them away from under his eyelashes with gentle fingers and smiled softly, pressing their lips together. “Don’t cry. Come on, make me yours love.”

Harry sniffed and nodded, trying to get his head back into the game. “Sorry, it’s just… you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Someone to want me to be theirs forever, to have a family. You’ve given me it all Lou. I love you so fucking much. You have no idea how much I love and adore you.”

“Then show me.”

Harry complied quickly, reaching down to tug at Louis’ hardening cock with his hand, their tongues tangling together as they kissed passionately. Louis already felt a bit too close to the edge what with his erection being handled by Harry in a manner that was just a little on the right side of rough, and his general sense of love towards the man above him. He panted heavily into the kiss, his hands grabbing at Harry’s ass now, pulling him down until their sweaty bodies were pressed together, the tip of Harry’s cock grazing against Louis’. They both loudly and moved their hips forward into the touch, craving more.

“God, want you so much-” Harry choked out, sliding a hand over Louis’ cheeks again, dipping between them over the place he hadn’t really had a chance to explore on Louis’ body yet. “Gonna make you feel so good, Lou…” He ran a dry finger around Louis’ entrance, making Louis moan in pleasure, already wanting more. Harry’s heart was pounding and he couldn’t believe that Louis was giving him this, giving himself so readily. It felt like this meant something more, that this was a turning point they wouldn’t be able to come back from. Harry knew how far gone he was for Louis, and at last, it seemed to Harry it was mutual, and he couldn’t have felt more in love than he was right then.

Harry slowly broke their kiss and removed his hand, hopping up off the bed and going to their bag, rifling around for a minute until he pulled out a bottle of lube and box of condoms from his bag before joining Louis back on the bed, putting both items on the mattress next to his boyfriend, eyes taking in the sight of Louis, gloriously naked and waiting for him. They smiled at each other and Harry crawled back over Louis, ducking his head into yet another kiss. His lips constantly wanted Louis’ against them, and he was powerless to resist the temptation of Louis’ kiss.

“Touch me Haz, please-” Louis begged, letting his legs fall open, guiding Harry’s hand down and between them. Harry snatched up the bottle of lube with his other hand and flicked the cap open, quickly coating the first few fingers of his right hand, warming it slightly before he started to touch Louis. “Harry-”

Harry looked up then, directly gazing in Louis’ brilliant blue eyes, taken aback again by how beautiful he looked laid there for him.

“I, um, haven’t done this much. Just, go slow, okay?” Harry nodded and kissed him again softly, trying to him through it how much this meant. “I love you, I really want this Harry, want you inside me.”

“I want it too, so much,” Harry whispered, and started to push the first finger forward, breaching Louis. He kissed him to distract him from the pain, and started slowly moving his finger in and out. Louis tried to resist the temptation to close his legs, knowing it would get easier if he just let Harry work him open, but it burned, the stretch was painful and he just wasn’t used to the sensation. Harry kept kissing him though, soon sucking a love bite into the side of Louis’ neck, licking down his jaw which made him shiver in pleasure.

“More, want more-” Louis breathed out, gasping slightly as Harry pressed a second finger in alongside the first, stretching Louis around him even more. Harry was relentless with his motions, and soon worked up to three, Louis writhing around and sweating already underneath him, desperate and hornier than he’d ever been. Never before had he wanted someone in the way that he wanted Harry now, and he just knew whatever was about to happen would be amazing.

Slowly, Harry withdrew his fingers and wiped them on the hotel sheets, not caring since it wouldn’t be them cleaning it up for a change, and reached across for the box of condoms, grabbing one and attempting to rip the top off with his lube sticky fingers. He fumbled for a minute and dropped the packet, sighing in frustration.

“Think that’s a sign,” Louis whispered, looking wide eyed at Harry then, then back to the condom packet in Harry’s hands again. “Do we need to?”

“Not if you don’t want us to,” Harry said carefully, hoping he was thinking along the right lines here. He bit his lip as he looked again at Louis, the pairs eyes meeting as Louis shook his head. “Are you sure? I’ve never-”

“I’m sure. I’m really sure, if you are?” Harry nodded too and he shoved the condom box onto the floor, letting the packet in his hand drop too. He felt a little nervous if he was honest, and shuffled up between Louis’ legs until he was close enough to start. Louis sat up slightly and took the lube, lathering his hand in it and stroking Harry’s cock quickly and firmly, coating it and making Harry whimper at the feel. He batted Louis’ hand away before the sensation became too much, and pulled Louis down the bed until his ass hit his thighs, lining up his cock at Louis’ entrance. “Go on, love…”

Harry took a breath and pushed his hips forward slightly, stopping when the head of his cock slipped inside Louis’ body. Louis inhaled sharply and let his head fall back against the pillow, but Harry couldn’t take his eyes away from where they were joined so intimately, the sight almost too much to bear. He pushed in a bit further, watching how Louis' body stretched to accommodate him, a bit taken aback by the sight. He’d never felt the inclination to actually watch himself penetrate his partner before but with Louis, he wanted to see everything, to fully immerse himself in what they were doing together.

“Oh my god, Lou, feel so good around me, fuck-” Harry closed his eyes as he started to rock his hips back and forth slightly, letting Louis adjust to his size, hands now gripping onto the skin on Louis’ hips, sure to leave bruises later on. Louis’ legs came up to rest around Harry’s waist then, and Harry let his eyes flutter open, taken aback by how lovingly Louis was looking at him as he slid in and out of his body.

“I fucking love you so much,” Louis mumbled out, hands now resting on top of Harry’s at his hips before they went up to his neck, pulling Harry down on top of him. Harry rested on his elbows either side of Louis’ head, one hand sliding up to grasp at the one of the metal bars of the headboard, the other cradling Louis’ cheek. They kissed softly and tenderly as Harry continued to move his hips at a slow pace. Despite the fact it had started out ready and desperate, it had quickly turned into something more, and Harry was getting entirely carried away on the feeling.

“You don’t know how much I want this - ah god, Lou - want this forever, want you forever,” Harry panted out, not caring now about the truths that were spilling uncontrolled from his lips. “Want everything with you, want my future, see it all in your eyes-” Louis’ chest shuddered a few times underneath him and Harry stared down, shocked to see a tear slip from Louis’ eye, trickling slowly down the side of his face until it hit the pillow underneath his head.

Harry stopped moving for a moment, letting his thumb trace away the tear, just staring as each other as he stayed inside Louis’ body, completely and utterly overwhelmed and in love with the man beneath him, trusting him and giving himself so completely to Harry. “I love you, Louis.”

“Love you too. Want everything too, you’re - you’re my forever Harry.” Louis’ words made Harry start to move again, trying to show Louis with his body how much he loved and adored him. They whispered words of love and devotion to each other as they continued to make love, the atmosphere of the night shifting as Harry caressed every inch of Louis’ body that he could touch, kiss and feel, skin to skin. While Harry knew he’d had sex with his fair share of people before Louis, nothing had ever, ever felt like this.

“You’re it, Lou. You’re it for me, you’re everything.” With that, Harry ducked his head again, capturing Louis’ red and swollen lips between his own as he kissed his love onto them, Louis responding back, digging his heels into Harry’s lower back, pulling him deeper with each thrust. “Gonna - fuck, wanna come, can I fill you up Lou?” Louis just nodded, sucking gently on Harry’s tongue, Harry moaning as he neared his orgasm. He thrust harder a few times until his orgasm ripped through his body. He cried Louis’ name, along with loud ‘I love you’ sentiments as he released into Louis’ body. The feeling was simply like no other, and he felt grateful the first time he’d done this, had unprotected sex with someone, was with Louis. It felt special and sacred, and right then, he wanted Louis to be the only man he made love to for the rest of this life.

He came down from his orgasm and went to pull out but Louis shook his head, feet keeping Harry locked inside him. He guided Harry’s hand to his own red and throbbing cock, encouraging his boyfriend to stroke it, their eyes locked as Harry brought him closer to his own climax, not parting until Louis had come hard over himself, Harry’s hand working him through it, his body clenching around Harry’s sensitive cock still buried inside him.

When they had both finally calmed, Louis finally let Harry come out of his body, wincing at the sting and the odd sensation of Harry’s release coming out of him. Harry didn't move to clean up like he usually did though, instead curling up against Louis’ bare body. They kissed lazily for a few minutes, both entirely spent and exhausted, but they’d never felt better or more in love.

“Meant every word,” Harry whispered, running his fingers through Louis’ sweaty hair, gazing up at him as best he could in the dim light of the room. He felt closer to Louis than he’d ever felt to anyone and it felt so special to be tangled up with him after what they’d just done, how much Louis had given him. “I know it’s soon. I know that, my brain knows that. But my heart is just screaming that you’re it, and I can’t bear the thought of ever letting you go. I love you so much, I guess when you know, you just know. You’re my future, Louis, you and Jacob. If you’ll have me-”

Louis kissed him hard, desperately trying to push his emotions down, not wanting to cry again. “Of course I’ll have you, forever and a day. I love you too, and I don’t give a shit if it’s been 7 days or 7 months. This is right, nothing’s ever felt this right for me except for you. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, Harry.” Harry just smiled at him and kissed him again, until the small hours of the mornings, sleep finally overcoming them, bodies and hearts entangled.

*****

They sat together in the same hotel suite the following night, watching the interview air on the big flat screen TV that took up one of the walls of their room. Louis was sat in one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts and his boxers, while Harry was only in his underwear, moaning he was warm because Louis refused to switch on the air conditioning. It felt odd to Louis to watch it back, knowing that just 24 hours previously he’d been watching this happen in front of his own eyes, hearing Harry sing to just him despite the hundreds of people around them in the room.

As Louis watched Harry making his way over to the stage on the screen, he shuffled around on the bed, forcing Harry’s legs apart and settling back between them, his back against Harry’s chest. He smiled to himself as Harry’s arms automatically came round and wrapped around his middle, and he craned his neck around quickly to kiss him. Harry buried his face in Louis’ neck as ‘Strong’ rang out from the television, and Louis felt a little emotional watching it back. The camera zoomed in on Harry’s face, capturing the way his eyes glistened with unshed tears, something Louis couldn’t see yesterday from where he was sat in the audience, and it simply made the performance all the more meaningful to Louis now.

When Harry on TV finished singing, Louis kissed him again. “Sounds even more beautiful now I can see how emotional you were singing it,” he confided to Harry, hoping to god he’d remembered to record this showing on the Sky box at home so he could watch it back whenever he wanted. “I can’t believe you wrote that for me, about us. You’re amazing, and I love you.”

He blushed heavily as the camera panned to Harry running across the studio floor and embracing Louis, the cheers of the audience loud, and even the fellow celebrities on the sofa were clapping and smiling softly at the pair. Their small kiss was shown, and Louis buried his head into Harry’s neck at that, not quite knowing how he felt about the entire country seeing them be intimate. It was only a kiss, but he knew what was behind that kiss. Louis' phone vibrated on the mattress next to him and Louis snatched it up, smiling when he saw what his mum had to say now she'd finally seen the interview. Afterwards, he flicked onto his Twitter app and was so happy to see the lovely tweets already being tweeted about Harry's coming out, and what a lovely couple he and Harry made.

 

“Can I post something of us, Lou?” Harry asked softly, carding his fingers through Louis’ hair, his head still laying on Harry’s chest. “My manager contacted me earlier, asked if I wanted to put out a statement or something after the show and I said no. But I wanna do something on my own terms, a tweet like I usually would. That okay?”

Louis peered up at Harry and nodded, watching as he grabbed his phone and scrolled through his phone, settling on a black and white photo Zayn had taken of them a couple of weeks ago at his house when they’d dropped Jacob off for yet another sleepover. His fingers flew over the screen as he wrote a message and passed the phone over to Louis, who seemed pleased at the tweet. Harry hit send, and Louis grabbed his own phone, doing the same thing but this time selecting a picture Jacob had taken in his bedroom when they’d all be chilling out.

It was a lovely moment, one Louis knew he wouldn’t forget. Jacob had been reading his school book to the pair of them, and when he’d done, he changed into his pyjamas and they put on a few songs, have a singsong as they often did before bedtime. _Sweet Creature_ had come on, and Louis and Harry had danced with their arms around each other’s waists as Jacob sang along while he selected which teddy to sleep with that night. They’d kissed gently at the end, and Louis watched as Jacob took Harry’s phone from his bedside table.

“Kiss him again Daddy.”

“Jake, put Harry’s phone-”

“Daddy, please, give Hazzy a kiss again, I want to take a picture.” Louis sighed and let Harry pull him into a kiss. Harry took the device from Jacob and they looked at the image. Harry was smiling gently into the kiss and Louis was being a bit sillier, but it was still a lovely photo, even more meaningful since it was Jacob who had taken it. Jacob smiled when he saw it. “I love it. It shows that you love Hazzy and he loves you.” Jacob just grinned and tucked himself under the covers, both men a little gobsmacked as they stared at the honest and big-hearted boy.

“I do love your Daddy, you’re right, but I love you too,” Harry said softly, and bent over to kiss Jacob’s forehead, tucking the bear down beside him. Louis had felt himself tearing up at the words, and he pushed away the urge to cry, kissing his son and whispering goodnight before he left the room and cuddled Harry until they had fallen asleep. It had been one of those natural, perfect moments he knew he wouldn’t forget, and that was why it had to be the photo he posted that night, announcing his love for Harry to the world.

“Love it,” Harry said, as they both hit send on their tweets together, their words of love winging their way across the world via the internet, and neither had felt so sure and certain in anything they’d done in a long time. The world knew, and Harry couldn’t be prouder. He kissed Louis hard then, cupping his cheek softly as he pushed him back towards the mattress, ready to show him once again exactly how much he loved him, but this time, for their eyes only.

 

 

  



	14. Infinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob has a bit of a mishap and panics Harry, Louis makes a bold gesture and Harry is an emotional wreck thanks to Jacob ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Sammy for the inspiration for Jacob's mishap! :)

Jacob had been playing  _ Strong  _ on repeat since Harry and Louis had picked him up from Jay’s after their trip to the Graham Norton show. He’d asked to watch the interview, and since Louis was happy it was clean and suitable for his child, they sat together and watched it, Jacob enamoured by Harry’s new song, and he even cheered when he watched them kiss on TV, shouting “you kissed Daddy like you kiss him at home, Hazzy!” much to their amusement. Harry had given Jacob a CD with the song on, telling him he had a copy before anyone else in the world, and Louis honestly thought his son was going to combust with how excited he was.

Harry had been busy at the studio, spending a few late nights putting the final tweaks on the songs, finally letting Louis listen to it from start to finish. That had been a nervous hour, and one Harry would rather forget. Louis had sat down with his headphones on, a pot of tea next to him and he’d not given anything away with his expression, listening intently, and even making a few notes on his phone. Harry had nervously paced around until Jacob had dragged him away to do some colouring in his new Avengers colouring book Liam had bought around the other day.

When it had finished, Louis walked up to Harry and kissed him before wrapping him up in a hug and telling him it was the best album he’d ever heard, and that even if he hadn’t been a huge fan when he’d been to see Harry’s concert last April, this album would change all of that and had made a fan of him. He’d blushed when Harry had told him how many of the songs were for him;  _ Strong, Ready to Run, Little Things, Happily _ . Louis had told him he was a soppy bastard, but Harry had just kissed him, telling him he didn't care and that he wanted the world to know. 

Harry was practically living with them now, too. He hadn’t been home in weeks other than to grab a notebook or something but other than that, the majority of his clothes and things were at Louis’, and he didn't see any need to be in that big, lonely house if his boys weren’t with him. He was beginning to refer to Louis and Jacob as his family more and more, letting it slip in interviews more often than not, and the public’s reaction to them had been fantastic. They’d had a lot of positive tweets telling Harry they were proud of him for being out and proud, and that Louis and Jacob were clearly good for him since he seemed happier than he ever had before. Harry couldn’t help but agree.

Early one Thursday morning, Harry slid out of bed, not wanting to wake Louis up just yet. He’d made a stupidly early morning meeting with one of his favourite songwriters, and he couldn’t afford to miss it. He kissed Louis’ cheek after he got dressed, and crept into Jacob’s room to kiss him goodbye too before he snuck downstairs, grabbing a few bits of fruit from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, making a coffee in his travel mug and driving over to the studio.

Four hours later, they were still there, and Harry had a crick in his neck from being bent over his notebook for so long. They had been very productive, writing a good few songs in the time, Harry strumming along on his guitar as they tried to lay down some melodies, but overall, Harry felt he’d been productive. His phone suddenly started vibrating from where it lay on one of the side tables, and Harry frowned when he saw Louis calling him. He glanced at the clock, realising Louis should be at work, so hurried to answer it, putting it on speakerphone.

“Lou, you okay?”

“Shit, not really Harry, is there any way you can meet me at the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital please? It’s Jacob-”

“What? Fuck, is he okay?” Harry was panicking a little as he grabbed his guitar case from the floor and started shoving the guitar into it, swiping the plecs and his notebook into it, apologising profusely to the other men dotted around the room who waved him off, having heard the start of the conversation and had seen how worried Harry was. “Louis, fucking talk to me, I’m heading to the car-”

“Harry, calm down, I don’t want you in an accident. He’s fine, but he’s asking for you, just-”

“I’m driving now Lou, I can’t stay on the phone. I’ll be there soon, hug Jake and tell him I’ll be there soon.” Harry hit the red button on his screen and chucked the phone into the passenger seat, speeding out of the studio car park, only just being patient enough to wait for the barrier to raise before he hit the accelerator, pointing the car in the direction of the hospital, hoping to God Jacob would be okay when he arrived.

A fraught twenty minute drive later, Harry parked his car quite badly in one of the closest spaces he could find, and ran over to the car park machine, feeding it a stupid amount of pound coins in before sprinting back and chucking the ticket on the dashboard. He had his phone clutched in his hand, and Louis had text him telling him to go to the Children’s A&E entrance. Harry did, and took a few deep breaths before he walked through the atuomatic doors, the sound of children playing and coughs and sniffs filling his ear drums. He glanced around, frowning slightly when he didn't see Louis or Jacob.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a patient, Jacob William Tomlinson?” The nurse looked up from the desk over her glasses and did a subtle double-take when she realised who was speaking to her. She quickly gathered herself though, and plastered on her professional face.

“Are you family?”

Harry didn't hesitate. “Yes.” The nurse nodded and tapped at her computer, and smiled up at Harry. 

“Please follow me.” Harry did and shoved his hands deep in his pockets, keeping his head down as he really didn't fancy being harrassed by fans at that moment. They walked down the children’s ward, and Harry moved his eyes up to look at some of the children laid in beds, parents sat next to them, some crying, some asleep. His stomach fell, wondering what state he’d find Jacob in, and the nurse came to a stop at a corner bed with a curtain around. “I’ll let you go in,” she said, quietly, indicating the curtain.

Harry thanked her quietly and gently clasped the material in his hand, peering around.

“Hazzy!” Jacob hopped down from the bed and ran towards Harry, wrapping his arms around his legs until Harry bent down enough to pick him up, Jacob’s little legs tightly going around Harry’s waist. He kissed the boy and looked over at  louis, who just had his eyebrows raised at Jacob’s enthusiasm. “I got a jelly bean up my nose Hazzy! We were using them in maths for counting and Bethany betted me I couldn’t fit one up my nose so I said I bet I can and it fitted Hazzy! But then it wouldn’t come out.” Louis was biting back laughter over on the hard plastic chair in the corner by the bed, and Harry sat down on the bed, letting Jacob down next to him. “Wanna see if you can see it?” Jacob tilted his head back but Harry turned away.

“No thanks, love. Why did you think it was a good idea to put a jelly bean up your nose?”

Jacob looked at Harry like he was a bit stupid. “Cos a girl betted me Hazzy, I can’t let her win.” Harry sighed and shook his head, not understanding the mentality of a six and a half year old boy. He got up and rounded the bed, letting Jacob settle back and walked around to Louis. He bent over and kissed him quickly, looking at him with concern.

“You alright love?” Louis nodded, and took Harry’s hand as he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing both Louis and Jacob now. “If I don’t get a speeding ticket, I’ll be lucky. I really thought something was seriously wrong Lou, bloody hell, a sodding jelly bean-”

“A blue one! They’re the best!” Jacob piped up, and neither man could resist laughing at that. Jacob talked them through what he’d been doing at school until that point, waiting for the arrival of the doctor. Louis explained Jacob had already been for an x-ray to check the location of the jelly bean - “A picture of my  _ real face bones  _ Hazzy” Jacob had said wide-eyed - and said they were hoping to remove it with some special tweezers. Harry cringed a bit at the thoughts, and pulled Jacob into his lap to stop his wriggling around when finally the curtain opened.

“Okay then Jacob, let’s - oh my god you’re Harry Styles-” the doctor just stood there open-eyed, staring at Harry who blushed a little, holding Jacob in his place on his lap. He stuck out a hand and eventually the doctor came to, shaking himself a little and taking it. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Don’t worry about it, pleased to meet you, Doctor…?”

“Doctor Manning. Finley Manning. So, so nice to meet you… wow. Sorry, this is so unprofessional.” The doctor ran a hand through his hair, and Harry really wanted to put him at ease. 

“It’s fine, honestly. But for this minute, can we focus on Jake? I’ll chat to you and take a picture after, but I really want this jelly bean removed?” The doctor nodded, and stood in front of the little family, explaining what he was going to do, and that Jacob would only be allowed one adult with him, so Louis raised his hand, saying he’d be going. Jacob looked upset until Harry promised he’d be there waiting for him, and he let Jacob down onto the floor, watching as he took Louis’ hand, and hugged him quickly. 

“Be brave love, see you in a minute okay? If you need me Lou, come get me.”

Louis nodded and they walked off down the corridor. “Bye Dad!”

Harry sat frozen on the edge of the bed, and even Louis swung around, gaping at Harry while Jacob just followed the doctor, holding his hand now, seemingly unaware of the slip he’d just made. He snapped a photo and posted it to Twitter, then quickly text his own Mum and sister to tell them not to worry and that Jacob was fine, since he knew they followed him on Twitter. Time seemed to drag by but realistically, it was only about 15 minute before the curtain flew open again and Jacob jumped in, bouncing up and down in front of Harry.

“Look! The jelly bean! It came out of my nose, Hazzy!” Jacob waved a small plastic pot in front of Harry’s face, so Harry grabbed his wrist, stilling it for a minute while he looked at the jelly bean. “I’m keeping it forever and ever. It’s going on my special shelf.” Harry just nodded, shaking his head slightly at Louis who had just walked back in. 

“Okay, well the bean came out no worries. He might have a few nosebleeds later due to the aggravation, but other than that, I think he’ll be just fine. No more sticking things up your nose, okay Jacob?” Jacob looked shyly at the doctor and nodded. “Now…” Harry grinned and stood up, passing Louis the phone the doctor was pulling from his pocket. They took a few photos, and Harry signed the doctor’s notepad for him before he picked up Jacob.

“You need to get back to the studio?” Louis questioned as they stepped into the daylight, the cold November air sending shivers down their spines. Harry shook his head. “I should get back to work, but Jake might as well have the day off now. You okay to take him home?”

“Yay! Home with Hazzy!” Jacob cheered, grabbing Harry’s face and kissing it, making Louis smile fondly at the pair. “Can you make your special eggs for lunch? I’m hungry.”

“Course, love. Now, go and kiss Daddy goodbye, and get in the car.” Jacob did, and clambered up into the backseat, fastening the belts of his car seat over his chest and waiting quietly while Harry stood in front of Louis, rubbing Louis’ hands between his to keep them warm.

“Thanks for coming, love,” Louis said, teeth almost chattering from how cold he was. Harry noticed he didn't have a coat on so slipped his own from his shoulders and draped it around Louis’ body, smiling at how it drowned his petite boyfriend. “Sorry, forgot my coat in the rush to get him here. Bloody kid, who shoves sodding jelly beans up their nose to prove a girl wrong?”

“Your kid, that’s who.” Harry said, leaning forward to rub his nose against Louis’, kissing his lips gently. “I’d better let you go. Um, about what Jacob said…”

“We can chat later, alright? But I’m not angry. Far from it, I promise. Love you, thanks for coming babe.” 

“Told you before, you or Jacob need me, and I’m there. Promise. Chat later, love you.” They kissed again, Harry reluctantly breaking it before it could turn into something that shouldn’t be seen in a car park, and watched Louis walk off towards his car, the tips of his fingers sticking out for under Harry’s long coat sleeves. He slid into the car and turned, smiling at Jacob. “Home we go kiddo, scrambled eggs are waiting for us!”

*****

“Night sweetheart, sleep well.” Louis bent over and pressed a kiss to Jacob’s head, watching as Harry lovingly did the same thing, making a bit of a disgusted face at the jelly bean in a pot by Jacob’s bedside light. He was oddly proud of the item, and Louis knew it would probably be years before he would be allowed to throw it out.

Louis stood in the doorway, eyes fixed on Harry as he tucked the duvet up around Jacob, making sure he was warm and cosy, and the little boy managed to surprise them both again. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Jacob mumbled sleepily, and Harry’s head swung around, eyes meeting Louis’. Louis smiled and cocked his head, telling Harry to come outside with him. Harry kissed Jacob again and walked out, pulling the door to behind himself. His heart was beating quickly inside his chest, and if Louis asked him outright, he wouldn’t be able to deny he absolutely loved the fact that Jacob had called him Dad twice today. Louis had said earlier on he wasn’t angry… but would that still be the case now it’s happened again?

He followed Louis down the stairs, the silence almost deafening between them. Harry slumped down on the sofa, feet curled up underneath him as he flicked through the TV channels, trying to find something to watch and to break the silence. He settled on an old episode of  _ Midsomer Murders _ , a staple in his house growing up and he smiled at the familiarity of the characters and settings, listening as Louis pottered around in the kitchen, clearly making them both a cup of tea.

He walked through, a cup in each hand, and Harry half stood to take one from him, smiling softly in thanks. Louis settled on the sofa next to him, and let his feet rest in Harry’s lap. Harry let his free hand wrap around Louis’ bare ankle, fingertips tracing the protruding bone, enjoying the soft feel of Louis’ tanned skin. He sipped on his tea, made exactly the way he liked it, and he closed his eyes, letting his head rest against the back of the sofa, the TV playing quietly in the background.

“So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room, then?” Louis asked, peering at Harry over the top of his ‘World’s Best Daddy’ mug. Harry just looked over and shrugged, not sure how to bring it up since he really was unsure about how Louis was going to react. He blew on the top of the liquid inside his cup, hoping to cool it down so he could drink and not have to speak. “Okay, well, I’ll talk then. I’m not angry, love. Not at all. I’m actually more worried about you and what you think about it if I’m being honest. It’s probably too much, I get that, but he’s only 6, he just-”

“What? Too much?” Harry looked at Louis, a bit agog at those words. How could Louis think it was too much for him? Had he not shown Louis already how in this he was, how much he wanted to be around, be a part of both of their lives? Harry leant forward and put his cup down on the coffee table a bit heavily, swivelling around until he was facing Louis, his bare feet still in his lap, and Harry laid a tight hand on them, keeping Louis in place. “Louis, seriously? What your son said today at the hospital, and then again tonight, literally made my fucking heart explode. The fact that he-” Harry stopped, feeling a lump rise up in his throat.

He dipped his head down into his hands, taking in a few shaky breaths. Louis withdrew his feet from his lap and scooted up next to Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a loving and comforting gesture Harry needed in that moment. He wiped roughly at his eyes with the heels of his hands and exhaled again, ready to start talking.

“The fact that that amazing little boy called me Dad means everything, god. I don’t mean this in any bad way, Lou, but, I mean, you get to be called Daddy because you’re his Daddy. You’re raised him, you care for him, you love him, and he loves you back. You’re biologically his father. But I feel like, I dunno, like I’ve earned that title somehow? That he called me it because he actually wanted to, not because he has to, you know? It was just fucking everything, Louis.”

“God, I love you,” Louis said, pulling Harry across into a kiss, hands cupping his face as their lips slowly moved against the others. “I was scared shitless it was going to have scared you off, that Jacob was being too forward. I really don’t think he thought about it too much, like it just seemed to pop out naturally? And if I’m honest, love, I thought I’d be pissed off if he ever called someone else Dad, but I’m really not. I just - I’m glad he thinks of you like that, if you’re happy about it too.”

“I’m not happy Lou, I’m bloody ecstatic. I love you so much, and I love that boy as well. I really do. Shit, I know this is all moving so fast but I don’t care, I really don’t. You and Jake, you’re what I want, I think I’ve made that more than clear. And I think I make you two happy as well, and I hope I make you feel loved as well, because you are. So much.” Louis yanked on Harry’s hand then, and Harry got the hint, crawling into Louis’ lap. His legs were bracketing Louis’, knees on the sofa either side of his, and Harry bent his head down, kissing Louis deeply.

“Hang on,” Harry mumbled, and hopped up, running up the stairs as quickly and as quietly as he could. He returned seconds later, stilling when he saw Louis was now topless and stroking his own cock on the sofa, eyes shining and bright as Harry stalked over, throwing the bottle of lube in his hand down onto the cushion next to him. Harry pulled off all his clothes then, pleased to see out the corner of his eye that the door to the sitting room was closed, and he climbed back onto Louis’ lap.

They kissed, panting heavily as Louis worked Harry open, murmuring filthy words into his ear as he did so, Harry having to bury his face in Louis’ neck to keep himself quiet, neither of them wanting Jacob to have a clue they were downstairs fucking on the family sofa. In the end, Harry had to plead with Louis, telling him he was ready and to get inside him before he took matters into his own hands.

“Okay, okay,” Louis laughed, pushing Harry’s body back slightly so he could coat himself in lube, not wanting it to be painful for Harry in any way. He watched with hungry eyes as Harry then shuffled closer, pressing their already sweaty torsos together as he rose up onto his knees, fingers tucked under Louis’ chin to force him to look at him as he sank down onto Louis’ cock, not stopping until he bottomed out, seated fully on Louis’ lap now. They both moaned lowly, and Harry just sat still for a moment, letting the feel of Louis inside him overtake him, kissing as he sucked gently on Louis’ tongue.

“Fuck- god I love you,” Harry whispered, sucking a love bite onto Louis’ collarbones, one of Harry’s favourite parts of him. He loved marking Louis up, and especially loved he had to be creative with it since Louis wouldn’t want visible marks for work, knowing that would invite questions the children were far too young to hear the answer to. Louis whimpered as Harry grazed his teeth over the thin skin, still bouncing lightly in his lap, Louis’ fingers digging into his hips, sure to leave bruises Harry sort of wanted to be able to see in the morning.

“So good Harry, ride me so well baby, look so beautiful like this,” and in response to Louis’ words, Harry tilted his body back slightly, placing his hands on Louis’ knees so he could arch his back, his body fully exposed to Louis now as he worked himself up and down. Louis reached down and took Harry’s cock in his hand, gripping tightly as he stroked, the way he knew Harry loved. Harry bit his lip to keep quiet as he dropped his gaze, loving the sight of Louis’ tiny hand wrapped around his fairly large cock, biting back a cry as Louis thumbed over the head, collecting the precome that was gathered there, using it to aid his slide.

“Gonna come Lou, make me come-” Harry begged and scrunched his eyes up as his orgasm took over. Louis arched up and pulled Harry down into a kiss, wanting to keep him quiet, and he took over the thrusts, planting his feet hard on the carpet beneath them and fucking up hard and fast, driving himself over the edge as well as he spilled inside Harry’s waiting body, the pair of them breathing heavily as they settled down together, Harry’s body pushing Louis’ back into the sofa heavily. Their foreheads were resting together, their combined breaths mingling as they came down from their orgasms, aftershocks still fizzing in their veins.

Reluctantly, Harry sat up enough to let Louis slip out of him, and he winced slightly as he felt a slight warm trickle down the inside of his thigh, Louis smirking as he knew exactly what Harry was reacting to. He reached down and grabbed his t-shirt, using the fabric to clean Harry off before he pushed him down onto his back on the sofa, Louis climbing on top of him, resting his head on Harry’s bare chest. He played with the tiny smattering of chest hair with his fingertips, enjoying the sense of calm that came over him after sex like that with Harry.

“Love you.”

“Love you too, Lou. We’d better get to bed, don’t really fancy explaining to Jake in the morning why we’re naked on the sofa.” Louis giggled at that and slowly climbed off Harry, gathering his clothes and the lube, smiling to himself as Harry did the same, padding upstairs quietly entirely naked. They quickly got into some clean underwear and brushed their teeth, Louis peeking in on Jacob, pleased to see he was still sound asleep before he got into bed next to Harry, curling his body around Harry’s, spooning as they often did when they slept.

*****

Louis decided at the weekend following Jacob’s little name drop that it was time to talk to him about it. Jacob had a sleepover planned at his best friend’s house that night, and Harry was meant to be dropping him off in a few hours while Louis got a few bits of work done. Harry was currently making a cake for no explicable reason in the kitchen, and Jacob and Louis were sat at the kitchen table, working on Jacob’s maths homework.

“Hazzy, I did it, look!” The little boy held up the filled in sheet with a big grin, and Harry stuck his thumb up, smiling at the pair of them. Louis couldn’t help but think of how domestic they were being in that moment, Harry with his apron on, whisking something in Louis’ mixing bowl, Jacob sat doing homework, Louis helping out. He loved it, and helped Jacob pack his homework into his school bag ready for Monday morning. Jacob ran upstairs to put his pencil case away in his room, and when he came back, Louis had peeled an orange and put it in a small bowl, Jacob thanking him as he tucked in.

“So Jake,” Louis began, and he could sense Harry’s eyes boring into his back, knowing exactly what it was Louis was planning on saying to the little boy. Jacob looked up, juice dribbling out of the corner of his mouth, and Louis stood up and took a piece of kitchen roll from the side, mopping it up before he spoke again. “The other day, um, at the hospital. You called Harry something, and well, I just wanted to talk to you about it.”

Jacob frowned for a minute, trying to remember what it was he’d said, wondering if he’d annoyed his dad without realising it. His eyes flew open as he obviously realised what Louis meant and he dropped his gaze to the table, cheeks burning with shame, sure both his daddy and Harry hated him for it. He had meant it, he really had, but then he was worried his dad would be upset, that he might think Jacob was replacing him with Harry. A lone tear slid down his cheek, and Louis swallowed heavily, wishing he’d approached this differently already. 

He got up out of his chair and lifted Jacob into his lap. He looked helplessly over to Harry who had decided to leave this one to Louis, quietly finishing off preparing his cake batter so he could listen in without being too obtrusive.

“Hey, don’t cry. I’m not angry or anything love, I’m really not. I just wondered what had made you say that, that’s all. Harry’s not cross either, I promise. Want to tell me?” Jacob looked up, watery eyed at Louis and nodded, biting his lip. Louis worked it free gently, knowing Jacob had a tendency to make his lips very sore when he was anxious, chewing on them out of habit. 

“I. Um.” The little boy sighed, and Louis decided to put a stop to this.

“Don’t worry love, I was just curious, it doesn’t matter-”

“No Daddy. I love you but I love Hazzy too. He does all the stuff you do with me, he puts me to bed, cooks my dinner and takes me to school. He loves me. He is like you, and you’re my daddy, so I thought maybe he was like my dad too?” 

Harry was struggling to hold back the tears at the other end of the kitchen, and busied himself pouring the batter into the waiting cake tin. He sniffed quietly, waiting to see what else would be said.

“Did Hazzy not like it?” Jacob said quietly, but not quietly enough that Harry couldn’t hear. At those worried words, Harry had had enough and thumped the bowl down on the table, hurrying over to Jacob and he crouched down next to Louis.

“Don’t you ever think that,” he began, grabbing Jacob’s little hand in his. “I loved it, it made me happier than I think I’ve ever been, Jacob. The fact you think of me as your dad means the world to me, you know I love you, and-”

Jacob jumped up then and threw himself into Harry’s arms, Louis stretching out an arm to help Harry keep himself and Jacob from toppling onto the floor. Harry let the tears flow then, and he cupped the back of Jacob’s head with his own hand, the little boy’s arms like a vice around his neck. “I love you Hazzy,” Jacob whispered, and Harry grinned up at Louis, who was looking fondly at the pair.

“I love you too.” They hugged for a minute until Harry managed to get himself to his feet, and he headed for the living room with Louis, the three of them sitting on the sofa together, Jacob still on Harry’s lap, head on his chest.

“Daddy?” Jacob said into the quiet of the room. Louis looked at him and arched an eyebrow. “Um, can I call Hazzy Dad sometimes?” Louis looked over to Harry.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Louis said with a smile, resting his hand on Jacob’s thigh.

“Hazzy, can I call you Dad sometimes? I think I’d like that.”

“I think I’d like that too, love.” Harry said with the biggest grin Louis thought he’d ever seen on Harry’s face. “I’d like that a whole lot, actually.” Jacob snuggled down into Harry’s chest then and Harry wrapped his arms around the boy, not quite believing everything he’d ever hoped and dreamed he’d ever have was falling into place, right here in a little house in Manchester with Louis and his amazing little boy.

*****

Harry pulled up outside the house after dropping Jacob off, chest puffed out with pride as he went to swing out to reverse the car into position, but stopped himself from pulling into the driveway when he saw Louis stood outside the front door, wrapped up in his big winter coat. He frowned but Louis skipped over, throwing the door open and hopping up into the seat next to Harry. He bit back a smile at how Louis had to practically jump to get into the car, knowing Louis hated it when he pointed out the blatant size difference between the pair of them.

Louis leant over and kissed Harry quickly, instructing Harry to drive. When Harry questioned where they were going, Louis shrugged and fixed his eyes on the road ahead, giving nothing away except for the bare bones of directions to send them the right way. 

“So, guess what?” Harry said as he flicked the indicator, going around the roundabout and following Louis rather vague instructions. He hit a small traffic jam and slowed down, reaching across to take Louis’ hand in his. “I took Jacob to Tristan’s house, his mum was lovely by the way, said she’d drop him off tomorrow about about 2, which I said was fine. Anyway. When I left, Jacob said bye dad to me, and when Tristan’s mum gave him a funny look, he just said Hazzy’s my dad now too. Oh, Lou, I could’ve hugged him so hard if he didn't run off on me.”

Louis grinned, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly as he pointed at a free parking space, sitting back so Harry could see the mirrors to park them safely. “See? He loves you so much, possibly just as much as I do,” Louis teased, before getting out of the car and paying for a few hours on the parking machine, sticking the ticket to Harry’s dashboard. Harry shoved the car keys into his pocket as he took Louis’ hand, letting himself be led down side street after side street, Louis chattering away as they walked.

They finally came to a stop outside a nondescript black wooden door, and Louis pressed the white buzzer at the side until the door clunked open. He pulled Harry through and shut it behind them, grinning when they got to a desk, a heavily tattooed woman sat behind it.

“Hello, love. I’ve got an appointment in about 20 minutes, Louis Tomlinson?” The woman glanced down at her book and nodded, glancing at Harry then away again. Louis guided Harry over to the chairs against one wall and sat down, Harry sitting next to him keeping their fingers laced together.

“So, you going to explain or is this a guessing game?” Harry asked, and Louis grinned widely at him.

“I’m getting a tattoo,” he said, flicking through his phone until he got to an image he’d saved the other night when he’d been looking for ideas. He wanted something to do with Jacob, as many of his tattoos often were inspired by his son, but there was a small part of him that wanted something to do with Harry, but perhaps something that wasn’t too explicitly about him in case, god forbid, things between them didn't work out.

He handed Harry the device, watching as Harry zoomed it in a bit before he gave it back to Louis. “I like it,” he said decisively. “Why the moon and stars though?”

“Well,” Louis began, feeling a little nervous now. “I mean, um, well-”

“Spit it out, love,” Harry teased, folding his arms as Louis wriggled around in his seat.

“Oh shut it Styles. Okay. Well obviously, Jacob is my little star. Always has been and always will be. But the moon… that’s you. You two, you shine when you’re together. You’re a little pair, like you belong together somehow. Kindred spirits. So yeah, it’s for the both of you, really.”

“Shit.” Harry was moved beyond words and grabbed Louis in a tight hug, blinking back the sting of tears in his eyes. “You’re so wonderful, you know that? I love you, this is so amazing Louis, thank you.”

“Between us though, okay? I don’t want it everywhere, I want this just to be for us, for-” he cleared his throat then, knowing the power his next words held. “For our family.”

“Louis?” came a loud voice across the room. Louis raised his hand and stood up, leaning over to kiss Harry softly. He walked off, and turned when he realised Harry wasn’t following him as he’d expected him to.

“Not coming to hold my hand?” Louis teased, and grinned when Harry stood up, taking his hand as they headed for the small back room together. Louis settled himself on the big black chair in the centre of the room while the tattoo artist took his phone, sketching out an image of what Louis was about to have inked on his skin. Harry grabbed a stool from the side and put it down next to Louis, pecking his lips softly as he sat down. “Happy with this? You like it?” 

“I love it,” Harry answered honestly. “Been too long since I’ve got a tattoo actually, you’re making me want to get something myself sooner rather than later.” The tattoo artist came over and showed Louis his sketch, the man nodding as it was exactly what he wanted. He held out his left arm, pointing at the area of forearm he wanted it tattooed on. 

It was a fairly small design so it didn't take too long to complete. Louis was brave throughout, used to the slight scratch of the tattoo needle, talking away with Harry throughout the procedure about the things they had coming up, the various interviews and appearances Harry had planned before the end of the year. When the tattoo was done, the artist wrapped it up, giving Louis his aftercare instructions, and they headed for the desk. Harry slid his card across the desk when they were asked for payment despite Louis’ protestations, and kissed him to silence him in the end, much to the amusement of the woman behind the desk.

“Just let me,” Harry had said, and Louis sighed, nodding because he knew protesting was just a lost cause. They thanked her and headed out of the door hand in hand again, and Harry dragged them in the direction of a small coffee shop. This time, Louis was insistent on paying for their drinks, and they sat together ankles linked under the table as they warmed themselves up with tea and hot chocolate. 

“So. That tattoo.” Harry looked up to see Louis focused on him, brow a little furrowed as he listened intently to his boyfriend, small hands wrapped around the ceramic mug between them. “I really love it, Lou. It means the world to me you got something so personal, so significant on your body for Jake and me. You do I know love you more than anything, don’t you? I mean it, I really do.”

“I know,” Louis said with a shy smile, rubbing absentmindedly at the dressing on his forearm, slightly enjoying the sting of it when he touched there, a reminder of what he’d done. He’d actually been contemplating it for a long while now, but somehow, after everything with Harry’s coming out, their declarations of love and how close they’d gotten so quickly, it seemed right. “I love you too. I really am so happy I met you, that I gave this, gave us a chance. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, love.” Harry smiled back at him, and blew a soft kiss, Louis pretending to catch it and put it in his pocket, making Harry laugh, caching the attention of a few other patrons.

“All alone tonight then,” Louis said quietly, sipping on the foam of his drink, Harry laughing at him when he got some on his nose. He reached across, swiping it away with the pad of his thumb. “Whatever are we going to do with ourselves?”

“Oh, I have a few ideas,” Harry said with a wink, lacing his fingers with Louis’ across the table, the promise of a fun filled evening alone burning brightly between them.


	15. It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is approaching so the boys go Christmas tree shopping, and Jacob takes Louis and Harry to his Christmas show at school!

 

  


The end of November and early December passed by quickly for everyone. Harry had still been busy with work, and Jacob had been busy at school, recently joining the school choir much to Harry’s delight. They’d spent many an evening sat together practising the songs for the Key Stage 1 Christmas show that would happen within the next week, and then they’d finally break up for the Christmas holidays.

Harry had been over the moon when Jacob had bought home his little invitation to the show, along with his list of costume requirements and song words to keep practising. On the front, Jacob had drawn a little Christmas scene, complete with snowman, Father Christmas and what was apparently the Baby Jesus (Louis had had to exercise serious self control not to laugh at that), but inside the message had melted both of their hearts.

_To Daddy and Dad_

_Plees come to the Cristmoos show at scool and wotch me sing!_

_Love from Jacob Tomlinson_

Louis found it cute how Jacob tended to sign everything with both his first and last name since he’d learnt how to spell it, and Harry had struggled to hold back his tears when he’d seen Jacob had addressed him as Dad for the first time in written form. They’d pinned it to the fridge, both promising to come to the show. Harry had even moved around a couple of interviews that were scheduled for that day, telling his management nothing came before Jacob and Louis, and that if the shows didn't want him another day, he didn't care anyway. Louis had chuckled at how bossy Harry had got, and had rewarded him for his dedication to them both that night in bed, much to Harry’s delight.

*****

“When are we getting a tree, Daddy?” Jacob had asked over breakfast one morning. He was shovelling down Coco Pops at a rate of knots, keen to open all of his advent calendars. He had somehow managed to get three, with Jay providing the third one as a special treat. Jacob was thrilled as it meant he finally had a chocolate one, and promised Louis that he wouldn’t open them each day until he’d eaten all of his breakfast. Louis glanced over to Harry who just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what their usual plan for decorating the house for Christmas was. “The show is next week, and Christmas is in 16 days! We need a tree Daddy!”

“Alright kiddo, I know,” Louis said, standing up to clear the breakfast things from the table. He smiled softly as Harry joined him, picking up the jam and butter to put away in the fridge, pecking Louis’ lips as he walked past him. “If you get your homework done and practise your lines with Harry while I sort out a few things, we can go to the Christmas Tree Farm this afternoon and pick one out, alright?” Jacob nodded eagerly, and asked to be excused from the table before he darted up the stairs to do his homework in his bedroom.

“Erm, so we’re off the christmas tree farm?” Harry teased, coming up behind Louis where he now stood at the sink, wrapping his arms around him and kissing the back of his necks. He loved how responsive Louis was when he touched him like that, and couldn’t resist pushing his hips up against Louis’ curvy backside, biting back a moan at the friction on his rapidly hardening dick. “Gonna pick a nice, big one Lou? Know you like things on the big side…”

“Oh do fuck off Styles,” Louis retorted, and in spite of his words, he rolled his hips backwards, enjoying how much he was riling Harry up, knowing he had no intention of doing anything at all about Harry’s burgeoning erection at that point. He spun round, not caring about his dripping wet hands covered in bubbles and reached up, grabbing Harry’s cheeks and kissing him harshly, his stubbly chin grazing against Harry’s smoother one. Louis had attempted to shave this morning but Harry had practically growled at him to leave it put, which Louis kind of felt set the tone for Harry’s horny mood of the day really. “Love you!”

With that, he wiped his hands down Harry’s cheeks, leaving a streak of bubbles down both and laughed gleefully as he fled the room, racing up the stairs to change and sort out the work he needed to get done before he could even think about leaving to get a tree with his boys.

Downstairs, Harry was wiping off his face with a tea towel, and smiling to himself at how close he and Louis were now. He loved that he could behave like that with him, that they could have fun together all of the time, as well as the more serious side of their life that included their respective careers, and parenting Jacob. Harry had enjoyed taking on more responsibility when it came to Jacob, often being the one to make his packed lunch in the morning before school, picking him up whenever he wasn’t back in the studio putting finishing touches on the album, or simply helping with his homework or his reading. Harry loved it all, and was always eager to take on more. Jacob came back into the kitchen as Harry finished putting away the breakfast things, and sat at the table, trying to read through the sheet of reading comprehension and spellings he had to practise that weekend.

Harry watched fondly as Jacob read to himself, before calling out for Harry’s help when he didn't understand a few words. He sat patiently with Jacob while they worked through the homework together, Jacob eventually ending up on Harry’s lap so they could read through together. What they didn't see was Louis hovering in the background, watching everything unfold in front of him, the biggest smile on his face.

Eventually, it was time to head out to the Christmas Tree farm, and Jacob was unbelievably excited. It had been a bitterly cold morning, so Louis insisted on Jacob wearing his big winter coat that he hadn’t had to get out much just yet, and was a bit annoyed when it was actually a bit small. It had cost a small fortune last year, as these things for children often did, and he asked Harry to stop the car at the out of town retail park on the way there to pick Jacob up a new one. Louis swallowed as Jacob picked out a pricey one, a colbalt blue padded one that he knew would keep his son warm but still, with Christmas approaching, finances were tight.

As they queued, Jacob texting Louis’ mum on his phone since he was apparently bored, Harry pulled Louis closer and bent down to whisper quietly in his ear.

“Let me get this, please?” He asked, Louis looking at him with a frown on his face. “I know you have a thing about pride when it comes to buying things for Jacob, but love, it’s nearly Christmas and I know things are tight. I can afford it, so let me help you out?”

“I-”

“Louis. Dad’s buy their kids clothes, right?” Louis smiled slightly and nodded. “So let me help. Let me buy Jacob a bloody coat, alright?” He reached out and pecked Louis as he handed over the hanger, letting Harry hold onto it. They headed for the next free cashier, and Louis stayed silent as Harry handed over his credit card, passing the new bagged up coat to Jacob who insisted on wearing it. They headed out together, Louis and Harry holding hands as Jacob skipped ahead of them, happily ensconced in his new coat, very proud of how smart and grown up he looked.

Louis strapped Jacob back in to the back seat of Harry’s car, and before Harry could get in himself, Louis pushed him against the driver’s door, kissing him roughly, not caring who might see. “Thank you. I know I get daft over things like that, but I really appreciate it. Love you babe.”

“I love you too. And don’t thank me. It’s what parents do, right?” Harry grinned as Louis finally let him get into the car and they began the drive to the farm, Jacob antsy to finally choose a tree and get it home for decorating. He always got to help his dad with the tree, and this year, he had Harry to help as well, and it was all feeling a bit overwhelming. They pulled up in a free space, pleased to see it wasn’t too busy, and Louis gave Jacob a quick pep talk about not running off, staying out of the way of any machinery and to be mindful of where he was walking at all times. Harry solved the first problem by letting Jacob jump onto his back as they strolled around, Jacob pointing out a few trees he liked, although Louis wasn’t keen.

It took half an hour of wandering around in the bitter cold until they found the perfect one. Louis headed off to get someone to chop it down and bag it up for them, while Jacob stood guard in front of it, determined that no-one except them was going to be taking it home. It was while Louis was away that Jacob swooped in with the question that had been on his mind for a little while now.

“Are you spending Christmas with me and Dad, Hazzy?” It had been asked so innocently, yet there was a weight behind it that had Harry fumbling for an answer.

“Um, I hope so, I need to talk to your dad about it first, in case you two already have plans,” he mumbled, letting Jacob slip his hand between Harry’s own, his little fingers chilly from the cold now. “So do you and Dad have a special routine or anything when it comes to decorating the tree every year?”

“Yeah! Daddy does the lights because it’s hard and tangly, then he does the tinsel and I can help with the bobbles and the other ordaments that hang on the branches,” Jacob said proudly, grinning up at Harry.

“Baubles and ornaments,” Harry corrected with a smile. “That sounds a lot of fun, hopefully Daddy might let me help with the lights and tinsel this year since I can help him reach. I’d like it if you and Dad came to my house and helped me with my tree there, it’s not a real one like this because I’m not there much but still, the house doesn’t feel Christmassy without a tree.”

Jacob nodded eagerly as Louis returned, two farm employees trailing behind him. Harry picked Jacob up as they began sawing at the tree, it eventually collapsing with a creak onto the ground below. They watched in fascination as the two men then held it up, walking it slightly over the main path where they slid it into a contraption that wrapped it in netting, and took it out to the main area for collection where they said someone would help them afix it to the roof of Harry’s car for the journey home.

“Hazzy can you carry me to the car, my feet are so cold,” Jacob whined until Harry agreed, swinging him up onto his hip and taking Louis’ hand in his free one. “Daddy can Hazzy spend Christmas with us please?”

“Uh, oh I’ll chat to him Jacob, you shouldn’t-”

“Lou, don’t worry, if you have plans, it’s fine, I’ll go to Mums or something.” Harry hung his head, trying to hide the hurt he felt at Louis dismissing Jacob’s question, like he was trying to avoid talking about the day or something.

“Hey, no, I’d love you to spend Christmas with us. I just didn't know if Jake was being presumptuous or something, wanted to make sure it’s what you wanted first.” A blush was set high on Louis’ cheeks now, and Harry sighed at his uncertainty over something he felt would have been a certainty himself.

“What I wanted? You two are _always_ what I want, Louis. And of course I wanna spend Christmas with you! I can’t wait to wake up and see if Father Christmas has been for Jake, and to share Christmas dinner with my boys. Love you both so much, I really do.” He kissed Jacob’s cheek then, and stopped, letting Louis up on his tiptoes to kiss him too, their warm breaths mingling in the cool air as they kissed gently, keeping it chaste in front of Jacob.

“Let’s get home and get this tree sorted, and I’ll make us all hot chocolates,” Louis said, as he paid for the tree, and for the men to help them get the tree secured to Harry’s car for the journey home. He carefully strapped Jacob back in and held Harry’s hand all the way home, fingers laced and their joined hands resting on his thigh. He smiled to himself.

This time last year, he was a single dad, a bit lonely as he hadn’t had a romantic encounter in far too long, and was dreading another Christmas spent at his Mum’s house, no matter how much fun he always had there. Now, though, everything was different. He was in a stable, loving relationship, his boyfriend wanted to spend Christmas with himself and his child, and he was in love. Louis hadn’t felt lonely in a long time, and he owed it all to Harry. He felt comfortable knowing Harry loved him, didn’t fear losing him for some reason, and it felt like finally, things were falling into place for him. It was about time.

*****

“Louis, will you just let me-“

“Harry, I’ve got it, seriously. I’m tall enough, just give me a second- argh!” Louis stumbled into the top of the tree, and just in time, Harry grabbed him around the waist, hauling him back onto his feet as the tree wobbled slightly on its stand. Louis’ heart was pounding in his chest, and he felt more than a little mortified at what had just happened. He knew that if Harry hadn’t of grabbed him, he would have fallen head first into the tree, and probably taken it to the floor with him. “Oops?” he said in a small voice.

“Don’t be so bloody stubborn and let me help!” Harry said, not yet releasing his grip on Louis’ waist. “There is nothing wrong with being small Louis, and sometimes everyone needs help once in a while!” Louis spluttered indignantly at Harry calling him out on his size, and he folded his arms in a huff, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Hey,” Harry said gently, tucking his fingers under Louis’ chin to make him look at him, which Louis did begrudgingly, feeling that this position did nothing to make him feel any bigger. “I love your size, you know that. Love how you fit so perfectly in my arms, how I have to bend down to kiss you. Can show you later how much I love it if you want...”

Louis shivered at the way Harry whispered those final word into his ear and nodded, mind already flooded with images of what Harry might possibly have in mind for him. He slipped out of Harry’s hold then and headed over to where Jacob was rifling through the box of Christmas decorations, picking out the ones he always put on the tree himself. He didn’t know Louis spent hours after he’d gone to bed tweaking the position of the ornaments, making it look perfect, but he loved helping and Louis could never bring himself to say no to his son.

He and Harry worked together to finish off the strings of colourful lights, then the tinsel that was woven through the branches, making the lights twinkle as it caught the shiny strands. Finally, it was time for Jacob’s favourite bit. Louis grabbed a stool from the kitchen and set the big plastic box onto it near the tree, and the three of them worked together to hang all of the baubles and things that Louis and Jacob owned. Harry took care of the ones right at the top, and Jacob  worked tirelessly around the bottom of the tree, concentrating hard to open the strings to hang them properly.

“Oh!” Jacob called and ran off, Louis suddenly realising what it was he was planning. Jacob thundered up the stairs, and Louis rolled his eyes at how much of a fairy elephant his son could be. The sound of drawers sliding open filled the house, and then the thud of footsteps on the stairs as Jacob ran back down, a little plastic bag in his hands. He bit his lip nervously as he stepped over towards Harry, and Harry was a little taken aback by how much he looked like Louis when he did this.

Harry moved over to the sofa and took Jacob with him, the little boy standing between Harry’s legs, Louis hovering in the background.

“Um, Hazzy I got you something when me and Daddy went to Tesco the other day, Daddy let me spend my pocket money on it because I wanted to buy you it myself.” He handed over the bag and Harry’s heart melted just a little. He took it out slowly and smiled when he saw a sparkly silver H dangling from a black ribbon. He stood up and placed it on the front of the tree, grinning at how it looked, the 99p price tag dangling from it.

“I love it, thank you so much love,” he said, pulling Jacob into a tight cuddle, the little boy’s arms wrapped tightly around his middle. “You and Daddy still going to come and help me do my tree tomorrow, yeah?” Jacob nodded, and Harry flitted his eyes over to Louis, making sure it was okay which of course, it was. They finished off the tree, and Harry even lifted Jacob onto his shoulders so that he could put the angel that Jacob had made at Nursery when he was 3 on top of the tree, pride of place.

 

“Gorgeous,” Louis said, snapping a few photos of the tree, including one of Harry and Jacob on either side of the tree, both grinning with their thumbs up at him. “Tree isn’t too bad either.” Only Harry laughed at that, the humour going over Jacob’s head as usual. Harry and Louis then finished decorating the rest of the living room while Jacob did a few pages of his colouring book in his room, Harry’s new album blasting from his iPod. He’d been a bit overwhelmed when Harry had given him the new songs, telling him he was the only person in the entire world to have his new album, that not even Louis had the full thing yet, and Jacob was determined to learn all the words as soon as possible.

Tinsel was being draped around picture frames on the wall, along the mantelpiece, and a few special Christmas ornaments were stood around the room, and once they were done, Louis admired it, pleased as he always was. Christmas was one of his favourite times of year, and he always loved making everything look festive, making it even more magical for Jacob who loved the festive season almost as much as his dad.

“Birthday soon then babe,” Harry said as he fiddled with a piece of tinsel that refused to stay put behind the corner of a family photo hanging on the wall, Louis, Jacob, his parents and all his siblings grinning out at him. It was a stunning photo, and Harry hoped one day he’d be included in a photo like that, as Louis’ husband. “Can’t believe you’re going to be 28, I’m your toy boy,” he teased, Louis just rolling his eyes.

“Whatever floats your boat, sweetheart,” he replied back, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend.

*****

“Feels good, babe,” Louis moaned from the bed where Harry was busy between his legs, fingers buried deep inside his body while his mouth worked wonders on Louis, sending sensations throughout his body. “You are too good at this...” he bit back another moan, knowing he had to keep quiet as Jacob was asleep just up the corridor. He wrapped his fingers in Harry’s curls, encouraging his head to dip a bit further, closing his eyes as he knew watching Harry would probably push him over the edge.

Harry pulled his fingers out and Louis moaned at the sudden emptiness, sitting up slightly so he could glare at Harry.

“I wasn’t done,” he moaned, pouting now but not caring, he just needed to come. “Get back in me, Styles. Come on!” Harry laughed as he wiped down his lube sticky fingers on the sheets, licking his lips as he did so, Louis shivering when he saw Harry catch a bit of pre-come on the tip of his tongue, swallowing it down with his eyes locked on Louis’.

“I wanna try something Lou, can we?” Harry rumbled in his low voice, a bit wrecked from having Louis’ cock down it for the past ten minutes or so. He knew he had to stop doing this so much at the moment, that he had some promos on the radio coming up and he couldn’t afford to be on there with a voice that sounded like he’d been sucking his boyfriend’s cock for most of the night before. He cleared his throat and knelt over Louis. “Arms around my neck, hold on tight.”

Louis complied, wondering what on earth Harry was up to, then he gasped as Harry got to his feet, pushing Louis’ legs around his waist as he kissed him deeply, stood there in the middle of their bedroom. His eyes gazed over to the bedroom door, pleased to see it was locked, as he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to explain this one away to Jacob if he were to walk in. They kissed slowly for a few minutes until Harry headed them both over to the wall, where he pushed Louis against it, making Louis shiver at the cold surface hitting his warm skin. Harry smiled into their kiss at Louis’ gasp.

“Sorry baby, I’ll warm you up, promise,” Harry murmured into Louis’ ear, kissing down the side of his jaw and neck. Louis groaned at the tip of Harry’s tongue darting around his skin, and had to bite his lip when he could feel Harry wriggling around against him, a hand working its way down between his legs, and when he suddenly felt the tip of Harry’s cock graze over his entrance, he startled and his eyes flew open, fingertips gripping at Harry’s shoulders. “What? Told you earlier I’d show you much I love your size, how I can manhandle you about...”

“Fuck me then,” Louis said, too turned on to care about being polite now. Harry had opened Louis up a little while he’d given him a mind-boggling blow job earlier, and even though Louis knew he wasn’t properly prepped for full sex, he didn’t care, he just wanted Harry to get on with it. “In me, come on, don’t leave me hanging... literally...” They both laughed at that, and Harry pulled back slightly, smiling fondly at his boyfriend, watching how his eyes crinkled at the edges as he laughed so unabashed despite the intimate position and what was about to happen.

Harry took his dick in his hand and lined the tip up with Louis’ hole, and pushed up slowly, letting Louis shift down his body until he was fully sheathed by Louis’ body. There wasn’t room for a lot of movement due to their position, and Harry wanting to keep Louis steady and not drop him as opposed to fucking into him wildly, but somehow, it made it all the better. Harry’s hips just moved slightly forwards and backwards, but his cock was so deep within Louis, the small thrusts were enough. They were kissing desperately, Louis being aroused by the friction of his hard cock against Harry’s stomach as they moved together, and both men knew it wouldn’t take long until they came.

“Fucking hell, so good for me Louis, so so good, love you,” Harry mumbled as he usually did, words of love and devotion in Louis’ ear, his hot breath tickling Louis, making him grab his cheeks and bring their lips back together again for another kiss. Their tongues were almost frantic in their movements as they both chased their orgasms. “Shit, gonna come, in you?” Louis just nodded, and Harry gripped tightly at Louis’ firm thighs as he thrust hard, trying his best to stay upright as finally his body released into Louis, Harry just whispering Louis’ name on repeat until his orgasm started to subside.

He went to pull out but Louis rapidly shook his head, legs crossed at the ankle behind Harry’s back. “No, finish me off, want you in me as you do-“ Louis blurted out, and Harry took the hint. He trailed his fingertips down Louis’ sweaty torso, teasing in just the way he knew Louis liked. Eventually, his hand reached Louis’ cock and he took it quickly, stroking firmly, wanting Louis to come because he was feeling a bit sensitive himself now. “Oh god, fucking hell, so good, touch me Harry – shit, Harry!” Louis came hard over himself and Harry, and Harry resorted to kissing him through it to keep him quiet, cringing slightly as Louis’ head bashed back against the wall, unable to control his movements thanks to the force of his orgasm.

As Louis went limp in Harry’s hold, Harry took them both back to the bed and laid Louis down carefully before he pulled out, hurrying to grab a few wipes from his bedside drawer. His drawer. He smiled at that thought. He’d pretty much moved over half of his belongings into Louis’ house now, not really ever bothering to go back to his house – home was now wherever Louis and Jacob were, and this little two up, two down house felt more like a home than Harry’s big house ever had.

He cleaned Louis up, then himself and grabbed the pair of them clean boxers from the top drawer of Louis’ chest of drawers, helping Louis slide them up over his hips, the man beneath him utterly spent now. He grabbed the heavy duvet from the bottom of the bed and pulled it up over their bodies, laying his arm out for Louis to come and snuggle into.

“I love you, love being here with you,” Harry whispered, stroking his fingers through Louis’ hair as they cuddled under the covers, keeping warm together. “I’m so excited to come and see Jake’s play tomorrow, and have Christmas with you, and, well, just everything Lou. This, this family, this relationship. It’s what I’ve always wanted, you don’t know what you’ve done for me in loving me and letting me be a part of this.”

“I have a bit of an idea,” Louis said softly, half asleep by now. “You’re the reason Harry, for everything, for my happiness…” His eyes fluttered shut and Harry leant over, kissing his lips so gently before rolling them both onto their sides, taking on the role of big spoon for once, the opposite to how they usually slept wrapped around each other. He fell asleep that night with the most content of smiles on his face, and a sense of permanence in his heart.

*****

“Do I look okay?” Harry asked, smoothing out the bottom of the red shirt he had on over his hips, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He glanced over to Louis who was checking something on his phone before he answered. “Louis, please. I don’t wanna be a daggy dad or something, do I look okay or should I pop home and change?”

“Love, this isn’t London Fashion Week, it’s Jake’s Christmas play. You look fine, you know Jacob likes that shirt on you anyway. Come on, chill out, okay? No one’s judging, they’re here for their kids. It’s just me who’s imagining what’s under that shirt.” He smirked at Harry who just rolled his eyes, ignoring Louis’ comments.

Although Louis said it was _only_ Jacob’s Christmas play, it was more than a bit important to Harry. It was the first thing he was attending as Jacob’s Dad at school, and he was keen to make a good impression on everyone, from the other parents to the teachers. Harry could get up on stage in front of thousands of people and sing and dance his heart out, yet the judgmental parents at Jacob’s primary school scared him silly. He took a breath and stepped closer to Louis, sliding his hand in Louis’, looking for some reassurance this was all okay.

They chatted easily to a few of the parents Louis was friends with, Harry grinning and waving with pink cheeks whenever Louis introduced him as ‘my boyfriend Harry’, no-one reacting adversely to the fact it was Harry Styles standing there in front of them, despite Harry noticing a few people exchanging glances and nudged elbows as they clocked him.

As the doors to the hall opened, Louis led the way and he and Harry took a seat on the second row. Harry had bought his fancy expensive camera to the occasion, and as he took it out, hooking the strap around his neck, Louis laughed and held up his iPhone, snapping a photo of the stage. They made small talk as they waited for the children to be led in. The reception came in first, children waving with big smiles at their proud parents, sitting down quietly with the teacher and TA as they waited for the others to arrive.

Louis smiled and raised a hand to the TA, Miss James, who caught his eye, pointing with a raised eyebrow at Harry. Louis just ignored her. Since he worked in the Key Stage 2 end of the school, he was able to come and watch the play, having met Harry in the reception earlier on, and he was grateful that thanks to his job, he didn't have to miss out on moments like this in Jacob’s life. The door opened again and Jacob’s class began to file in. Harry craned his neck, looking for Jacob and waving proudly as he spotted him, the little boy blowing both him and Louis kisses before he sat down.

The play went off without a hitch, much to the amazement of the parents and grandparents in the audience. The children sang loudly and very enthusiastically, many of them, including Jacob, work perfect. The acting was sweet, the kids only needing occasional prompts from the teacher sat at the front on her knees in front of the children, directing proceedings. As the round of applause rang out once more for the little cast, the head teacher climbed up on the stage and did the usual speech about not sharing images on social media of the children, before telling them they could see their children before they headed back to class.

Harry and Louis stayed in their seats, knowing Jacob would soon join them as he knew where they were sat. Sure enough, the little boy, complete with angel costume, came bounding over, launching himself first into Louis’ arms, then into Harry’s.

“You were amazing love, a real star!” Louis said, ruffling Jacob’s hair, smiling at how the little boy had his arms wrapped around Harry’s waist still, cheek resting on his belly. “I knew all those hours of practising the songs at home would pay off. Proud of you, Jake.”

“Thanks Daddy,” Jacob said, grinning up at him with a hole where his front tooth used to be. “It finally came out! Look Hazzy, my tooth felled out, now I can put it under my pillow for the tooth fairy!” Harry hugged him a little tighter then, already excited to possibly partake in another childhood tradition that night with Louis for Jacob. “Come and meet my teacher-”

Before Harry or Louis could stop him, Jacob had hold of both of their hands and was dragging them across the hall. “Mrs Cooper! Hi Miss!”

“Hello Jacob, well done on the show, you did a great job,” the teacher said kindly, smiling at both Harry and Louis. “Hey Louis, your son is certainly a born performer, isn’t he?” Louis chuckled and nodded, readying himself to introduce Harry to another of his colleagues, but Jacob got in there first.

“You know my Daddy, Miss, but this is my Harry. He’s Harry Styles, but with me he’s my dad.” Harry’s heart melted at Jacob’s easy declaration, the little boy easily holding Harry’s hand now, little fingers wrapped around Harry’s. “He’s having Christmas with me and Daddy, and we’re going to have so much fun!”

“I bet you are, Mrs Cooper said with a soft smile, and Louis looked up at Harry, loving the sparkle in his boyfriend’s eyes. “I need to round up the kids, but lovely to meet you Harry, have fun with these two are Christmas. Hope to see you around here more with Jacob and Louis.”

“I’m sure you will, lovely to meet you too,” Harry said, shaking her hand politely. He picked Jacob then, setting the boy on his hip, turning his head so he could look at him. “Thanks for introducing me to your teacher, love. She seems really nice.”

Jacob nodded enthusiastically. “She is, she’s the bestest! Well, except for Daddy. And you. And grandma. I like her a lot, anyway.” He wriggled then, wanting to rejoin his classmates. “I gotta go to class!” He ran off before stopping and turning back, shouting across the hall. “Love you Daddy! Love you Dad! See you at home time!” Harry blushed as he felt the stares of what felt like everyone in the room on them now, Louis wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close.

They both waved to Jacob, blowing kisses across the hall. Louis led Harry out of the hall and kissed him in the reception area, grabbing his staff lanyard from the hook on the wall where he’d placed it earlier when he’d met Harry.

“Bloody hell, we’re school playground official now,” he said, arms linked around Harry’s waist as he looked up at him, Harry leaning down to peck his lips, not caring who might be watching. “No getting away from me now Styles… mine.” He slid his hands down into the pockets of Harry’s dark blue skinny jeans, cheekily squeezing his butt as he did so. “I need to get back to work. You picking up Jake tonight?” Harry nodded and they kissed again quickly. “But seriously, thank you for coming to this, I know it means a lot to Jake-”

“It means a shitload to me as well, you twit. You know I love being around for this stuff, I really do. Oh, you two still coming to the radio thingy on Saturday with me?” Louis nodded and pecked Harry’s lips once more, having noticed the clock out of the corner of his eye. “Love you, have a good day baby.” He waved and Louis disappeared through the double doors, heading back to work as Harry headed out to his car. He finally had a few hours of freedom and he knew exactly what he was planning to do with them. Christmas shopping for Jacob and Louis was on.

 

  



	16. All Together Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry takes Jacob and Louis with him to Capital FM to promote his new song, and then they all come together for the big family meal where their parents are going to meet for the first time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the manips used belong to their owners, not myself. Credit to them for their amazing work.

“I don’t wanna get up, it’s too early”, Jacob whined from his bed where Harry was trying to gently wake him up. Jacob buried his head further under the duvet, and Harry sighed, knowing he’d probably hate him for what he was about to do. He grabbed the edge of Jacob’s duvet and whipped it off, letting it fall over the end of the bed. The boy practically screamed and grabbed for his knees, curling his pyjama clad body up into a ball that Harry couldn’t resist tickling. Soon enough, Jacob was begging for mercy and Harry released him, heading over to the wardrobe and grabbing some warm clothes for Jacob to put on.

They headed downstairs together, after Jacob had made Harry gel his hair in the same style as his dad’s and they sat around the breakfast table, eating quietly as they all woke up. Harry, however, was far too cheerful for the time of day, used to early starts since he was younger, and it always amused him how both Louis and Jacob hated the mornings. He chatted away, telling them what to expect when they arrived at the radio studios, and he chivvied them along, Louis rolling his eyes frequently at his overly chirpy boyfriend.

“You are too sodding cheerful for this hideous hour,” he grumbled as he pulled his coat on, wincing at the cold as Harry headed out to the car to put away Jacob’s rucksack and extra jumpers in the boot of his car, ever the safe traveller. He helped zip Jacob into his coat and headed out to the car, watching as Jacob buckled himself in, climbing into the passenger seat next to Harry. The sound system was blaring Christmas tunes and Louis hit the off button, making Harry look over with a confused expression as to why his favourite song had stopped playing. “It’s. Too. Early. For. Wham.”

Harry decided to stay quiet and headed back to lock the front door, starting the drive down to the studios. Being just gone 5am, it was quiet on the roads and he didn't have any rush hour traffic to contend with much to their delight. Jacob had long ago fallen back to sleep, and Harry had had to keep Louis talking to keep him awake, knowing Louis would probably make him pay for it later.

They arrived at the studios and Harry took care of Jacob, carrying him inside to the warm while Louis trudged along behind him, moaning that he needed a coffee to wake him up properly. Harry signed them in, and headed through to the guest room, where a lovely breakfast feast was set up. He laid Jacob carefully down on the sofa, Louis helping him to manoeuvre the boy out of his coat and tucked a blanket over his legs, the pair deciding he could sleep until Harry was due on air at 8.

About an hour later, the door swung open, and Louis looked up from where he was sat on Harry’s lap, the pair squished into an armchair together since Jacob was still conked out on the sofa. A tall smiley brunette man walked into the room, and headed straight for the pair. Louis stood up, and Harry followed suit, quickly hugging the man in front of him.

“Nice to see you, Roman,” Harry said with a smile as he pulled away, having exchanged a manly hug with him. “Roman, this is Louis, my boyfriend, and that’s his son, Jacob.” He pointed over to the sleeping lump on the sofa with a proud smile.

“Nice to meet you Louis, seen Harry here tweet lots about the two of you, think he’s head over heels for you both,” Roman teased, and Harry nodded as Louis blushed, shaking the offered hand. “You okay for today then Harry? Happy with everything going on?” Harry nodded, and they discussed the interview, the topics that would be mentioned and Louis turned his head, hearing Jacob stirred. He walked over while Harry finished his chat, and smiled down at his sleepy son, hairstyle ruined now thanks to his impromptu nap.

“Good morning sweetheart,” Louis said, pushing away a few hairs from Jacob’s slightly sweaty forehead. Jacob rubbed at his eyes and raised his arms, prompting Louis to bend over and pull Jacob up into his arms. He stood up, the tired boy still wrapped around him like a koala and headed back over to Roman and Harry. When Jacob spotted the stranger, he buried his face in Louis’ neck, only peeking out an eye to seek out the person he wanted.

“Dad, want a cuddle,” he mumbled towards Harry, who proudly took him from Louis, ignoring the raised eyebrow Roman was throwing at him. The pair whispered together for a minute, Harry rocking Jacob gently from side to side. Louis spoke to Roman for a bit until the man had to get back to the studio, and then soon enough, it was time for Harry to head out. “No Dad, wanna stay with you.”

“Jacob, you know…”

“Hey Lou, it’s okay, you can both come if you want to? You don’t have to talk or anything, but you can sit in with us, see how it all works. Would you like that, love?” Jacob nodded on Harry’s shoulder, resting his cheek there, half sucking at his thumb, something he only did now when he was super tired. Louis smiled and shrugged, following Harry out of the door and down the windy corridors until they came to a large black door with a red ON AIR sign lit up above it. They walked in quietly, and Roman sent them a thumbs up as he saw Louis and Jacob appear with Harry.

A track was playing quietly in the background, and Roman scooted back from where he sat behind the microphone, grabbing a seat for Louis and popping it next to the free one for Harry.

“I assume he’ll be staying with you,” Roman said, pointing at Jacob who was slumped against Harry’s chest and they all laughed softly, Harry nodded in confirmation. He settled himself in the seat behind the mic, leaving the headphones that were set on the counter in front of him. Jacob had perked up by now, and was eyeing the headphones curiously. Harry picked them up and offered them to the boy, who slipped them over his head with a grin as he heard the music being played. The track ended and Roman counted them in silently with his fingers.

“Special treat for you all this morning, I know I’ve been teasing this on Twitter all morning,” he began. “But finally, he’s arrived, and with the family in tow. Harry Styles is in the studio!” The few people dotted around whooped and clapped for the benefit of the radio, and Harry smiled at them all.

“Good morning Roman, thanks for having me, erm, us,” he corrected, looking down at Jacob who was eyeing all the buttons in front of him, Louis sending him a warning glance to not dare touch a single glowing button. “Good to see you again.”

“You too Harry, and it looks like things have changed for you big style since you were here last,” Roman teased. “Harry’s actually been joined in the studio by his boyfriend and his son, who is actually sitting very quietly on Harry’s lap quiet as a mouse.”

“That’s not normal, I assure you,” Harry teased, and Jacob pretended to pout for a second before giggling and clapping his hand over his mouth, realising he would have been heard by the microphone. “You can say hello, love.”

They all watched quietly as Jacob shuffled forwards on Harry’s thigh, Harry’s hands steadying him at his waist as he got his mouth up to the microphone in front of them.

“Hello.”

“Hello to you too, Jacob. Are you excited to be here with Harry and your dad today then?” Jacob just nodded, cuddled up against Harry then. “Oh he’s gone all shy. That’s okay, I’ll chat to Harry. So you’ve got new music coming, Harry? Tell us about Strong.”

Harry spoke about the song for a while, dropping a few more hints to Roman about the other songs that were coming on his album, which was going to be out in the first part of the next year. Roman read Harry out a few tweets from fans who were listening, and he said hello to a few of them, which Louis knew would probably make their day. Louis smirked to himself as he thought about how lucky he was, that he was the one Harry woke up to, kissed good morning and loved. He reached across and took Harry’s hand, stroking the skin with his thumb as he listened to the conversation.

“Okay, well I think it’s time for everyone to hear Strong for the first time on the radio, don’t you? Want to do the honours, Harry?” Harry nodded and went to speak, but was interrupted by a little voice.

“Can I do it?” Jacob asked, and Roman nodded, indicating the microphone. “This is my dad’s new song _Strong_ , I hope you like it, I do and I know all the words.” Roman stuck his thumb up at Jacob and called him around the desk, pointing to a button that the little boy could press, which he did eagerly, the opening chords of the song filling the room. “I spoke on the radio, Daddy! It was super cool, Tristan’s gonna be so jealous!” Everyone laughed at his enthusiasm, and he raced over to Louis, jumping into his lap. Louis was feeling a bit emotional at the words Jacob had used when he’d introduced the song, and from the dopey look on Harry’s face, it seemed his boyfriend was too.

They all stood up and shook Roman’s hand, Harry giving him a hug before they left the room. Harry was required to take a few pictures for the Capital FM twitter account, and he couldn’t resist asking the photographer to take one of him and Louis in their matching red tops (accidental, of course) for him to post, which he did soon after. Roman had even dug out a few CapitalFM goody bag bits for Jacob, who looked chuffed to bits with his haul, and the family headed back to the guest room to collect their belongings. Jacob ran ahead, chatting happily to one of the runners.

 

“My dad’s song,” Harry said under his breath with a smile. “He actually said that Lou, everyone will have heard that. They’ll know he thinks I’m his dad.”

Louis stopped Harry then with a tug of his arm. “Stop saying that,” he said, with a bit of a frown. “You are his dad, Harry. He thinks it because it’s true. Get used to it babe.” With that, he grabbed Harry’s hand and dragged him up the corridor, knowing they had something rather important to get home to. Jacob skipped out to the car park with them, hopping happily up into his chair in the back of the car as they began their journey home.

“Swing in at Sainsbury’s on the way home, we still need a few bits for tonight, okay?” Louis turned to his phone where he had the ever important list for that night ready and waiting. “I still think we need some more veg, and another pot of gravy granules. And maybe some more cream for the pudding?”

“Lou, chill babe. It’s gonna be great. They’re all gonna get on, it’s going to be a great night, okay? Love you.” He blew a kiss and Louis sighed, settling back into his chair.

*****

Louis wasn’t sure what had made him ever think this was a good idea. He didn't know why he had suggested it, and he was seriously regretting it now. After the success of Harry meeting his family, and then him and Jacob meeting Harry’s family around a month ago, he’d thought it would be a great idea to then throw a dinner for the entire family, inviting Harry’s parents and sister, as well as his own rather large family. Luckily, his mum had decided the two younger sets of twins would be a pain so had left them with their grandparents, but still, Louis hadn’t cooked for this many people before. It would also serve as a bit of an early birthday celebration, as he was turning just 28 in just 2 days, despite the fact he was trying his hardest to ignore the fact.

They had made the decision to hold the meal at Harry’s house because it was bigger, and the tree was finally up there too. They’d headed back to Harry’s one night after school last week, and had spent a while putting it up together, Jacob nearly crying when he’d seen the decoration Harry bought for him and hidden away for that very moment. It was a stunning tree, but Louis had to admit he liked their gaudy one better, complete with tacky old baubles, and Harry had to admit he’d rather be spending Christmas at Louis’ house anyway, that his house was too big and cold for them.

Louis and Harry were working together to cook the meal, Louis peeling vegetables at one counter, and Harry was making a rather looking complicated desert at another. Jacob was being a good boy and was sat at the table, completing one of the wordsearches in the book Jay had bought him a few weeks ago to help the boy with his spellings. Christmas tunes were being played through the fancy sound system in Harry’s home, and it was a pretty perfect domestic situation.

“Louis, I can feel the stress radiating off you,” Harry said over his shoulder, seeing the tension in his boyfriend’s shoulders. He brushed his hands off and stepped up behind Louis, pushing their hips together against the counter. “Chill out, it’s going to be great. They’re all going to get on, we’re going to be fine baby. I love you, our families love us, this is important, yeah? I mean, I’m planning on being with you for a long time, so I want our families to meet and get on.” Louis turned in his grip and they kissed gently, aware Jacob was at the other end of the room.

“I know,” Louis sighed. “I just want it to go well, this is important to me. I mean, god willing, they’re all going to  be in other’s lives a long time and that’ll be easier if they like each other.” Harry massaged Louis’ shoulders then, careful fingertips pushing into Louis’ tense muscles, kneading out the knots and easing the tension somewhat. “I’m just being daft, ignore me.”

“I will not,” Harry said, pressing a kiss to the back of Louis’ neck. “Don’t dismiss your feelings Lou, not to me. I promise though, it will be fine. How can they not get on? They both know how much this means to us, and to Jacob. Let’s just look forward to it, and deal with any problems if they come up, okay?”

“You’re too good to me,” Louis said, turning his head to capture Harry’s lips in another kiss. “I love you Harry, so much.” Harry hugged Louis tightly for a few seconds, enjoying their closeness for a minute.

“I love you too. And you, kiddo!” Harry called, noticing Jacob peering up then, grinning at Harry’s words to him. “Right, let’s get this show on the road, families are due in an hour!”

*****

“Mum, this is Anne and Robin, Harry’s mum and Dad. Anne and Robin, this is my Mum Jay, and my step-dad Dan, he’s Ernie and Dottie’s Dad.” He watched as Anne and Jay embraced each other quickly, Dan and Robin exchanging manly handshakes, smiles on all of their faces. Louis stepped back beside Harry then, looping an arm around Harry’s waist.

“So lovely to finally meet you,” Anne began. “I’ve heard so much about you and your children from Harry and Louis whenever they’re around. Louis’ showed me lots of photos of your family too, you have gorgeous children.”

“Thank you!” Jay said, a proud smile on her face now. “I’ve been dying to meet you for ages as well, since these two have been serious really. They make a pretty lovely couple, don’t they?” Dan, Robin and Anne all nodded in agreement, Louis turning his face into Harry’s side at that, a little embarrassed at the gushing affection from their parents. “Honestly though Anne, your son has made my Lou so happy, and Jacob too. You’ve raised such a wonderful young man, you should be so proud of him.”

“I really am,” Anne said, smiling up at Robin. “Louis and Jake have given him what he’s always wanted though, I should be thanking you for Louis and Jacob, and them coming into our lives. We’re only a small family and it’s been wonderful to have a child around again, Jacob is just such a joy, he’s given me a new lease of life since Harry’s been bringing him round to ours.” Jay took Anne’s arm then, leading her into the kitchen to get them some wine while Robin and Dan retired to the sitting room, flicking through the channels on Harry’s TV, looking for something to watch.

Louis wandered around, looking for Lottie and Fizzy, praying they weren’t snooping through Harry’s house. He found them upstairs in the room Harry had decorated for Jacob a few weeks ago. The walls were painted in a bright blue, posters adorning most of them with the Batman duvet cover sat proudly on the bed. Fizzy, Lottie and Gemma were perched on the edge of the bed, chatting amongst themselves, only looking up when Louis cleared his throat, cocking an eyebrow at the three of them.

“This room is so cool, Lou,” Lottie began, gesturing with her hands to the little book shelf with a few of Jacob’s bedtime stories on, along with some photos of the three of them, and the other family members too. “Did Harry seriously do this for Jake without saying anything to either of you?”

“Yep,” Louis said proudly, sitting down on the soft armchair in the corner of the room, the one Jacob often curled up with Harry on for stories at bedtime. “He wanted Jacob to feel at home here. I mean, we don’t stay here a lot, he prefers staying at our place but I love that he did this for Jake without even saying anything, it really means a lot to me.”

“Well, you both mean a lot to him,” Gemma began, smiling softly at Louis across the room. “I’ve never seen my brother smile so much. You make him so happy, Louis, you and Jacob. He’s always wanted a family, some stability to come home to and you’ve given him that. I can never thank you enough for loving him like you do.” Louis blushed and stood up, realising he should get back to his guests.

“Well, he’s pretty good at loving me back,” Louis said as he headed off towards the door. “It’s not just him who’s found their home and stability you know. And stop snooping Lottie and Fiz, if you want a tour, grab me or Harry, we’ll show you around. No poking around in our drawers.”

“Oh Jesus,” Félicité said with a grimace. “I don’t even want to know what you’ve got hidden away in them Lou…” Louis just cackled and walked away, plodding downstairs and rejoining the families in the sitting room, pleased to see everyone happily talking amongst themselves.

He stopped in the doorway to one of Harry’s smaller offices, a bit surprised to see Jacob sat in there on Robin’s knee, a frame in his hands. He hovered quietly, not wanting to spoil the moment but keen to see what the two were talking about. He craned his neck so he could see, and he smiled when he saw how Jacob was happily holding Robin’s hand.

“He sat with Daddy and watched the show, he tooked lots of pictures on his big camera!”

“Well, that’s because he was very proud of you, he likes to take photos a lot. Did you like having him come to your show with your Dad?”

“With my Daddy you mean. Hazzy’s my Dad. I call them different so they know who I’m talking to. It was so cool having them both there, I showed them to my teacher too! Oh look, we tooked this picture in America!” Jacob leant forward and grabbed another photo of the three of them, this time in a thick black glass frame, and smiled down at it.

“See? He likes photo of things that are important to him.”

“I’m important to him? And Daddy?” Jacob’s little brow furrowed as he tried to understand what Robin was saying.

“Of course you are, love. He loves you both very much, and I can see you love him too.” Jacob threw his arms around Robin’s neck then, and Louis decided to leave them to it, having heard enough of their sweet conversation. The way Jacob was happily accepting these new members into his family was heart-warming, and Louis couldn’t have been prouder of his son at that point.

He headed back to the kitchen to find Harry checking on the two chickens in the oven, tea towel thrown over his shoulder as he moved around his kitchen with ease. He snuck behind as Harry shut the door, and shoved his warm hands under the hem of Harry’s top, making the man in front of him jump in Louis’ hold, turning around to face Louis with a surprised expression.

“Cheeky,” He murmured, lowering his head to kiss Louis softly. Louis’ hands gripped at the little love handles at Harry’s hips, the warm flesh shivering under his touch, and Harry’s hand cupped the back of Louis’ head, holding him in the kiss for a few more seconds. Harry cheekily dipped his tongue into Louis’ mouth and they allowed the kiss to deepen for a moment, until they were stopped by a small gasp at the other end of the room. They pulled apart, and stared with embarrassment at their mothers, who were looking at them with slight smirks on their faces.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jay giggled. “We just wondered if you needed any help with the cooking but it looks like Harry’s got it all under control.” Harry groaned at that, slipping his hands into Louis’ pockets, cupping his butt, not caring their mums were watching the intimate gesture. “You really do look so good together you know, you fit somehow. I’m glad you’ve found each other.”

“So are we,” Harry smiled back, kissing Louis’ forehead. “Now, I’ve gotta put the veggies on so go and sit down and chat, we’ll call you when everything is ready. Take advantage Mum, and you Jay, let someone else spoil you two for a change.” They both smiled and hurried out, arm in arm, Jacob cheering when they walked back in.

An hour later, the plates were on the table and piled high with the most delicious looking meal. Harry had done a great job with the Roast Chicken, and Louis had stood alongside him as he served it up, ensuring everyone had a bit of everything on their plate before he put them on the table. When everything was ready, they called their families in and watched as people mixed up who they sat with. Dan sat next to Gemma, Lottie on her other side. Jacob had quickly parked himself between Anne and Jay, much to their joint delight, and Louis and Harry were next to each other, Robin on Louis’ free side, and Felicité next to Harry. Louis looked around the table with a big smile on his face at how easily their two families were becoming one.

“Um, before we eat, I’d like to make a toast,” he said, standing up, all eyes on him now. “Firstly, thank you to Harry for this gorgeous dinner, I helped a bit but this was all mainly him, so good job babe.” They all raised their glasses, uttering words of praise, making Harry blush red, linking his pinky finger with Louis by his side. “Secondly, to you all for coming today. It means so much to Harry and I that you’ve all made such an effort to get to know each other, and we hope this is the first of many family get-togethers we’ll have.” He sat back down as Jacob’s voice rang out.

“Yay!” Jacob cheered, making everyone laugh and smile at him. “Love having lots of new aunties and nannies and grandads, Daddy!”

“Um, sorry, you can eat in a sec, I just wanted to say a happy early birthday to my Lou, I know Jake and I will be dominating him for the day, so this is a bit of an early celebration for that too. Happy birthday Lou, I love you, and I can’t wait to share your special day with you.” He bent down and pecked Louis’ lips in full view of everyone, their mums cooing at the emotional moment as everyone else raised their glasses in a second rounds of cheers. After that, it was finally time to tuck in, and it didn't take long for there to be bare plates around the table, everyone full and satisfied with the tasty meal.

Anne and Gemma insisted on clearing the table, leaving Louis resting his head on Harry’s shoulder, watching everyone talking around them. “I love this,” he said quietly, for Harry’s ears only. "I love seeing them all mix together, like they’re just one big family, not two.”

“They are now, cos we’re family,” Harry replied, pressing a kiss to the crown of Louis’ head. “I don’t need a ring or a bit of paper to make you my family, Lou, although either of those things would be nice.” Louis stilled for a moment. It was the first time either of them had bought up the subject of marriage, although Louis would have to admit it had been on his mind a little lately, since one of his fellow TA’s at work had gotten engaged. “Oh, um, sorry, I-”

“Don’t.” Louis said, snuggling closer. “I don’t need them either but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them.” His heart was pounding in his chest at his easy declaration, and he smiled to himself as Harry pulled him closer, practically into his lap in fact. Their mums dealt out the deserts, and Harry and Louis kept their hands linked under the table, not wanting to part after what they’d just revealed to each other.

Jacob was now sat on Jay’s lap, sleepy after an exciting day, and she got up once she’d finished eating, telling everyone she was going to put Jacob to bed. Jacob hopped up and went around the table, hugging and kissing everyone before stopping in the doorway.

“Love you Daddy, Love you Dad, night night.” They blew kisses again and Jay held Jacob’s hand as she led him out of the room and upstairs. Harry heard a sniff and turned his head, shocked to see tears in his mum’s eyes. He got up and went around, removing Jacob’s booster seat before he sat down, wrapping an arm around his mum’s shoulders and hugging her.

“You alright Mum?” he asked, a bit concerned now. Louis was looking over with a worried expression too, but their fears were alleviated when she smiled and nodded, wiping her eyes with the edge of her cardigan sleeve.

“Yes love, I’m fine, just a bit emotional. It’s just, well, that’s the first time I’ve heard Jacob call you Dad, you know? I know how long you’ve wanted to hear that, and hearing him say it was just everything. I can’t believe my little boy is a dad, that you’ve found Louis and Jacob and made yourself a home, a family.” She cried more then, and Harry just held her as she did, smiling at Louis across the table, knowing that they were happy tears.

Robin and Dan loaded up Harry’s large dishwasher with the plates, while Gemma and Lottie cleared the table, pushing in all the chairs and leaving the kitchen in a relatively clean state. Anne had disappeared to help Jay put Jacob to bed now, relishing her new role as a Nanny and Louis and Harry were finally curled up on the sofa, Louis against Harry’s side, knees practically pushed into Harry’s lap as they cuddled.

“Good early birthday family meal, then?” Harry asked, turning his head for a kiss, which Louis was of course happy to give.

“The best,” Louis answered honestly. He felt his eyelids start to close, feeling heavy after the long day, and he let Harry hold him close as his body succumbed to sleep, forgetting the guests all around.

He was stirred a few hours later as Harry carried him up the stairs, holding his body to his securely, the house now silent and dark around them. He rubbed at his eyes when Harry gently placed him on their mattress, carefully pulling of Louis’ jeans, throwing them into the corner of the room, Louis’ socks and jumper soon joining them there. He watched through half-opened eyes as Harry padded around the room, heading into this huge ensuite bathroom to use the toilet and brush his teeth before slipping into bed in his boxers next to Louis, wrapping himself around Louis’ warm body under the plush duvet.

“Oh god, I fell asleep, what must everyone think?” he moaned into the darkness, Harry chuckling softly behind him as he ran his fingers through Louis’ chest hair, circling his nipples quickly and teasingly. “God, I’m a shit host.”

“You’re fine,” Harry mumbled back. “No-one’s judging you, don’t worry love. Now get some sleep okay? I know you’re worn out, and so am I. Got a busy few days, and you’re nearly 28 now, you need your rest.” Louis elbowed back at the cheeky remark, making Harry fake a painful cry. “Old or not, I still love you.” Louis turned around for long enough to kiss Harry before flipping back around, pulling Harry’s arms tightly around his torso again.

“Love you too babe,” he said, letting sleep claim him once more, safe and secure in Harry’s arms.

 


	17. Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrations ahoy as Louis, Harry and Jacob celebrate Louis' 28th birthday, Christmas and New Year, with some fun (the family kind _and_ the grown up kind!) along the way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, manips used in the tweets/instagram posts I have created do not belong to me. Full credit goes to their owners for their amazing work.

“Oh babe, right there, yes-” Louis moaned, fingers clutching at the wrinkled bed sheets underneath his sweaty body, eyes clenched shut as Harry moved inside him, hands on his thighs, keeping them pushed apart for the best angle. They were sweating quite a bit, thanks to the fact they were having sex with the big, thick duvet piled on top of their bodies but it added to the intimacy, and Louis quite liked being so warm and cosy, surrounded by Harry and his love.

“Fuck, feel so good, love you,” Harry murmured as he leant over again, whispering into Louis’ ear. It was the middle of the night, dark outside and while the rest of the world slept, Harry was making love to Louis, determined to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday in the best way he knew how. Their tongues met languidly, lips touching, breaths short yet deep as Harry continued to thrust between Louis’ wide spread legs, a hand on his hip holding him in place.

“Love you more,” Louis said, letting his eyes flutter open to try and seek out Harry’s in the darkness. The fact he couldn’t really see added another level to what they were doing, giving over control to Harry since Louis couldn’t anticipate Harry’s next moves at all. Another surprise came then as Harry sat up on his knees, cock still buried deep in Louis’ body, but Harry grabbed Louis’ ankle, throwing his calf over his shoulder, changing the angle again. “Oh shit, oh fucking hell-”

Louis was powerless to do anything but take what Harry was giving him in that moment, hips pistoning quickly, the tip of Harry’s hard cock grazing Louis’ spot deep inside, and Louis knew he was going to soon succumb to the pleasure, no matter how much he wanted this to last. He reached down, tugging at Harry’s wrist until Harry let it come up, grabbing Louis’ own and pressing it down into the mattress, holding on tightly, neither wanting to let go.

“Touch me, baby please touch me,” Louis begged, and he almost sighed with relief when Harry’s other hand came down and encircled his own neglected cock, tugging in rhythm with his thrusts. It didn't take much longer until Louis was approaching his orgasm, and Harry turned his head, kissing Louis’ leg where it was still resting on his shoulder as he started to pound hard into him.

“Come for me babe, want you to come-”

“Oh fuck- Harry!” Louis cried, trying to muffle his sounds by turning his head into the pillow but it didn't work. His orgasm was too strong, and his hips were simultaneously bucking up into Harry’s fist, chasing that feeling but also grinding down, not wanting to lose the feel of Harry’s cock inside him. “Oh shit-” He was panting hard now, trying to catch his breath as his orgasm wracked through him. He heard Harry mumble once he’d released his cock, and tried to see in the darkness once more.

“Fuck, you taste so good, gonna fill you up baby, want to so much, can I?” Louis rolled his eyes back in pleasure again as he realised Harry had licked his hand clean, tasting Louis’ come with it and muttered out a quick reply, bracing himself for Harry to start fucking him again, sensitive now but in an entirely good way. “Oh, gonna come, Louis, LOUIS!” Louis’ own name tumbled from Harry’s lips as he came and Louis could feel himself filling with Harry’s warmth. He never thought he’d love that feeling but with Harry, it was welcome and he loved the intimacy it gave them both.

Harry slumped down on top of Louis’ body for a minute, trying to catch his breath as the aftershocks of his orgasm continued to surge through him, feeling very hot under the covers now. He carefully pulled out of Louis’ body with a wince and kicked the duvet away to the end of the bed, the pair naked on their backs, and Harry reached to take Louis’ hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it softly several times.

“Happy birthday baby, love you so so fucking much,” Harry whispered, and rolled onto his side, letting Louis cuddle him. It didn’t take long for them both to fall asleep, spent and exhausted.

Louis woke up hours later feeling hot again, but this time his hips were moving without realising, chasing the wet warmth that he could feel below the covers. The early Sunlight was filtering in now through the curtains and he lifted the edge of the duvet up slightly to see Harry smirking up at him, licking eagerly at the tip of Louis’ hard cock.

“Oh my god-“ Louis mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes. He’d never been woken up by a blowjob before but now he had, he would happily let Harry do this every single day. Harry continued to lick and suck, bobbing his head as he took more of Louis’ length between his lips, and Louis was close, so close, when it all came crashing down.

“Happy birthday Daddy!” Jacob screamed as he burst through the unlocked door, and Louis scrabbled to ensure the duvet was up around his chest so that Jacob wouldn’t see any sign of what Harry was doing beneath the covers. He bounced onto the bed, and Louis could feel Harry’s mouth release his cock, sliding a pair of boxers up his legs and tucking him in. Louis bit back a laugh as Harry emerged from under the covers, licking his lips, rather red-cheeked. “Dad! Where you been? Why were you hiding under there?”

“Um, well…”

“Dad was cold so he got right under the duvet like you do and was giving me a cuddle,” Louis explained with a straight face. He winked at Harry as Jacob got between them, his little bum pushing into Harry’s tummy as he wriggled to get comfortable. “But thank you for your birthday wishes love.” He spotted a now slightly crumpled envelope in Jacob’s hand.

“Oh! For you - I made it yesterday when you and Hazzy was putting the shopping away!” Jacob proudly handed it over to Louis, who held it up so they could all see. Harry reached behind him and flicked on his bedside light so the room was bathed in a soft yellow glow. On the front was a picture Jacob had drawn of the three of them. Jacob was in the middle and was holding on to his dads' hands and they were all smiling. He opened it and read the message, heart filling with love.

“Oh sweetheart it’s brilliant, I love it. Thank you so much.” Harry took the card from him as Louis pulled Jacob into a tight cuddle, reading it with fond eyes. He smiled at Louis over the top of Jacob’s head and held his gaze for a moment. “Now, go and get your dressing gown and we’ll go and get some brekkie, okay?” Jacob nodded and kissed Louis before clambering over him and darting out of the room. “Oh my god, did that just happen?” he laughed out, collapsing back onto his pillow, hands over his face.

Harry propped himself up on one elbow, looking at his boyfriend with a serious expression on his face. “Yup. Our son walked in on us while I was sucking your dick.Thank fucking god I went under the duvet this morning…” he smiled ruefully, thanking all the gods Jacob hadn’t seen anything more than him emerging from under the covers, innocent enough to believe Louis’ rambling explanation. He looked at Louis who giving him a rather odd look. “What? He didn't see Lou, don’t worry, he doesn’t know.”

“Not that. You, um, you just, you said _our_ son. Ours. Not mine.”

“Oh. I didn't realise. I guess I’ve been thinking it a while, and it just slipped out? I’m sorry if that’s not okay-” Louis surged up to press a kiss to Harry’s lips then, smiling as he pulled away.

“Of course it’s okay. I’m glad you feel that way, I’ve said it a few times to Mum and Zayn as well, and I hoped you thought that way too. You’re his Dad now, Haz, that makes him your son too. Now, as much as I love laying in bed with you and kissing you, our son wants some food, and so do I.”

“I’m cooking!” Harry called as he jumped out of bed in his boxers, throwing Louis one of his hoodies from the wardrobe before pulling one on himself, opening the door to see a grinning Jacob stood there. “Yes, in a minute love, let’s get Daddy downstairs first then we’ll get his stuff, alright?”

“What are you planning?” Louis called suspiciously, pulling some jogging bottoms over his hips, more prone to feeling the cold than his own hot water bottle, better known as his boyfriend Harry. He rolled his eyes as his boys giggled, thundering down the stairs ahead of him, no doubt sorting out some sort of birthday surprise. Louis couldn’t stop the smile curling up the corners of his lips, his heart full and for once, not feeling too alone on his special day.

  
  


*****

It was the most enjoyable birthday Louis thought he had ever had. He’d been spoilt rotten as he’d sort of expected by Harry and Jacob, despite telling the former not to dare spend too much money. However, it seemed Harry’s idea of not too much was very different to Louis’, but really he was grateful and couldn’t complain. He didn't usually receive much for his birthday, small gifts from Jacob courtesy of his mum and Dan, a little something Zayn and Stan and that was it. So, this was a bit of a change, but a nice one.

They’d gone out for dinner together, Harry insisting that Louis rest for the day since they’d both be run off their feet tomorrow for Christmas Day. He’d had a cake brought out to Louis, the restaurant bursting into song much to Louis’ horror, and Harry had laughed until he’d almost cried at Louis’ horror struck expression. They’d gone home and had read Jacob a bedtime story together, kissing the boy quickly before he fell asleep, already too excited for Father Christmas to hopefully visit that night. He’d left out a cookie and glass of milk for Father Christmas, along with a bag of carrots for the reindeers (“My friends only leave one for Rudolph Dad,” he’d patiently explained to Harry, “But that’s not fair so I make sure there’s plenty for everyone.”), and Harry had absolutely loved watching Jacob’s excited little face as he sprinkled the reindeer sparkly food outside the front door to guide the reindeers in since it was so dark at night.

Once Jacob was definitely asleep, they’d curled up on the sofa together, bodies entwined as they watched _Love Actually_ on the television, Harry getting all emotional in all the right places, Louis unable to stop himself from mocking his soppy boyfriend for his tears, but secretly loving what a softie Harry was.

“Can we please wrap some presents now?” Harry had begged as the closing credits rolled, humming along to The Beach Boys that was playing. Louis had groaned and nodded. This was the part he hated the most - he wasn’t the best at wrapping, and Jacob’s presents were notorious for being awful, awkward shapes that he struggled with. “Oh come on Lou, I love wrapping pressies, I’ll do it, I don’t mind.” Louis had decided there and then to take full advantage, heading to the cupboard in their bedroom where he’d hidden Jacob’s presents.

It took him two trips, but soon the gifts were littering the sitting room floor, and Harry was already peeling cellophane off rolls of Christmas themed wrapping paper, setting out scissors, sellotape and a plastic bag for rubbish. It all looked far too organised for Louis, and he headed back to the kitchen to make the pair tea while Harry got to work.

“You have no idea how much fun this is,” Harry said as Louis came back through with two cups of tea. “Thanks love. I adore being part of Christmas with a kid, it’s so lovely to see how excited he is for Father Christmas, for everything about it. You don’t get that as an adult, the magic has gone somewhat but he’s brought it all back for me. You both have. I can’t thank you enough for letting me be part of this Lou, I love you, both of you, so fucking much.” Louis slid down onto the floor and kissed Harry then, a little emotional himself at Harry’s words.

“Love you too. I’m glad you’re part of our lives now, you think today was good? Wait for tomorrow! It’ll be a very early wake up call though, so no blow jobs or sex for you I’m afraid, not until tomorrow night, can’t risk him walking in again.” Louis chuckled at the memory of that morning, and of the sneaky hand jobs they’d shared in the shower while Jacob had watched TV downstairs after Louis’ birthday breakfast.

Just an hour later, Harry was done and the pair of them had arranged the presents in an exciting looking pile next to the tree, and Harry cleared up, taking his bag of rubbish to the outside bin so there was no trace of anything for Jacob to find or stumble across. They stripped down to their boxers, and climbed into bed, sharing a quick late birthday/early Christmas kiss before they fell asleep both knowing Christmas morning would be there before they knew it.

*

Jacob flew through the opening of his presents at a frightening rate the following morning, wrapping paper flying around, frustration coming when the paper wouldn’t tear or sellotape got in the way until Louis or Harry stepped in to help, but Jacob's expressions of delight and joy were more than worth the months of saving up and hours spent shopping for and choosing gifts. Louis and Harry had also exchanged small gifts for each other, both insistent that they didn't need much, that they had each other and that was enough. Luckily, Harry seemed to have stuck to his promise this time, and they shared a special kiss when Jacob ran upstairs to change into his new Doncaster Rovers football kit Harry had gotten him for Christmas.

 

They had chosen to stay at home together for their first Christmas as a family but spent a while on Facetime, first with Louis’ family, passing on thanks for their gifts, and everyone having to sit through Jacob talking through almost every toy he’d been given, everyone except Jay and Dan leaving by the time the call was done. It was then time to phone Anne and Robin, and Louis loved that Jacob was just as excited to talk to them as he was Jay, who had been in his life since birth. He was proud of the loving little boy he’d raised, and how easily Harry’s family was slotting into his own.

Louis and Harry cooked Christmas dinner together, the pair taking it in turns to help Jacob assemble different toys or unscrew various things from boxes until it was time to tuck into the feast that they’d made. Louis had insisted on putting lots of vegetables on Jacob’s plate, using them as a bargaining tool for later on, and Harry dived in eagerly, making Jacob want to copy his dad, gobbling down every single bit of greenery on his plate much to Louis’ shock. They popped crackers, put silly paper hats on their heads and chatted loudly as they ate, but it was probably the best Christmas dinner any of them had ever had.

Jacob crashed early that night, and had fallen asleep on Harry’s lap, where they’d been watching _Nativity_ together, one of Jacob’s favourite festive films. It took Harry a while to realise the little boy had fallen asleep, and the only clue he’d gotten was the stupidly fond expression on Louis’ face, staring at the pair of them, Jacob curled up around Harry, his little hand resting on Harry’s Christmas jumper covered chest. Harry looked down as best he could and smiled softly, kissing the boy’s head, wishing he never had to move. Of course he did, and he shuffled Jacob around until he was in his arms, and Louis followed the pair of them upstairs, stripping Jacob to his underwear and tucking him tightly under the covers.

Harry took Louis to bed then, making love to him, celebrating their first Christmas together in their own special way. It was tender and romantic, not rushed and hurried and they took their time exploring each others bodies, kissing and licking everywhere, making sure the other felt completely loved and worshipped. Harry made it his mission to make Louis come undone as slowly as he could, and it felt like hours before Louis was allowed to come, almost sobbing with the relief at his orgasm, his and Harry’s fingers laced as he fucked him slowly through it, the emotion of the moment almost too much for both of them.

“I love you, love you always,” Harry had whispered into Louis’ ear as he’d come himself, and there was something poignant and special about that moment, like they’d somehow crossed an invisible barrier, opened themselves up to something they now could never turn back from. Louis allowed a few tears to fall them, whispering his own words of love back at Harry as they came down from their highs together, both connected at every possible point, bodies, hearts and souls slowly becoming one.

*****

Harry unlocked the front door and took the bags and coats outside, setting them down in the boot of his car. He smiled to himself, excited for what the day ahead held for them, and especially for the fact it was a surprise for Louis and Jacob. They’d had a quiet few days with their families after the excitement of Christmas day, spending Boxing Day with Louis’ family, setting off early to spend the entire day there, and by the time they’d got home, Harry was exhausted. He loved kids, yes, but the sheer amount of them on that day was a little overwhelming, hyped up on Christmas and the chocolates from their selection boxes.

A more sedate day was spent on the 28th over at Harry’s parents house. His sister had already had to go to work, but Anne had made the most of having the three of them for the day, baking lots of goodies with Jacob, and she’d cried when Jacob had called her Nanny for the first time. It had made Harry emotional too, and it just solidified the fact that Jacob and Louis were it for him, they were his family and he wasn’t letting them go anytime soon. When Louis had gone upstairs to put Jacob to bed, he’d spoken to his mum and Robin about his plans, what he was thinking of doing and they’d agreed, thinking Louis wouldn’t be anything but positive about it. It spurred Harry on, and he’d decided New Year’s Eve was the time to find out the answer.

For now, though, there was a day of fun to be had before Jacob went to Anne’s alone for his first sleepover there the following day. He headed back inside, rubbing his hands together to warm them up and found a sleepy Jacob in his pyjamas at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing his eyes.

“Morning love,” Harry said, and Jacob stretched his arms up, wanting a hug. Harry picked him up and wandered through to the kitchen, getting the breakfast things out for his family. Jacob nuzzled his head against Harry’s shoulder, and Harry thought he could die happy in that moment. This, right here, was all he’d ever wanted. “Breakfast soon?”

“What are we doing today, Dad? You said we’re going out but you didn't tell us where and I want to know,” Jacob mumbled in a tired voice, sliding down until his feet hit the floor, taking a seat at the table while Harry popped some bacon into the frying pan. He was sure the smell would entice Louis downstairs, and he was right, given the long arms that snaked around his waist a few minutes later, warm lips pressing kisses against the back of his neck.

“Hey my gorgeous man,” Louis rumbled against Harry’s neck, fingers resting just inside the waistband of Harry’s skinny jeans, stroking softly as Harry turned the bacon over. “This surprise still going ahead then?” Harry nodded and spun around, kissing Louis quickly on the lips. He was only in his jogging bottoms, torso bare, and Harry ran his hands down Louis’ soft skin, wishing that moments like this could last forever. He stared deep into Louis’ eyes for a second, only pulling away when the sizzle of the bacon got louder, snapping him out of his reverie for a second. He grinned at Louis and pushed him gently to the table, watching him kiss his son on the head as they sat together, chatting quietly as Harry finished off the bacon sandwiches for himself and Louis, and threw some eggs into another pan for Jacob. Just a few minutes later, everything was ready and they were sat around the table together, eating and talking. These family moments were what Harry lived for, especially as life was about to get busier with album promo, meaning Harry was going travelling for a bit. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, wanting to live in the moment for now.

*****

The journey to their surprise destination only took around half an hour, Harry bundling his family into the car after they finished breakfast, shoving the plates and cups into the sink, intending on cleaning up later on. He parked the car in the large car park, lifting Jacob down from the seat behind his own, Louis grabbing the coats from the back. He looked around, trying to work out where they were, and his eyes lit up as he saw what Harry had planned for them.

“Skating? Seriously?” he said, eyes sparkling with excitement. He was sure he hadn’t mentioned his want to go ice skating before, but somehow Harry had known anyway. Jacob looked a little nervous, but Harry took his hand and they walked together towards the entrance. Harry paid for their entrance fees, and they walked over to where they needed to pick up their skates. Louis sorted Jacob out first, helping him get laced up and left him sat on the bench while he worked his own out. Harry had a black pair already on his feet, and before Louis could even sort himself out, Harry was on one knee in front of him, taking charge and lacing up Louis’ boots for him, pulling his socks up over the top of the boots.

“People might get the wrong idea, you down on one knee in front of me like that,” Louis teased, butterflies going mad in his tummy at what he was insinuating. Harry just shrugged and smiled up at him.

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing they could think,” he said, reaching up to meet Louis’ lips in a quick kiss. “Now, have you done this before?” Louis shook his head, and shakily got to his feet, finding his balance on the blades. “Okay, well I have so I’ll help you out. Let’s get Jacob sorted with one of the penguins to help him, then I can worry about you.” They all held hands as they made their way towards the ice, and luckily an employee had spotted them, bringing over a penguin for Jacob to use to keep himself upright.

Much to Louis’ surprise, Jacob stepped onto the ice with Harry’s help and listened as Harry instructed him on how to move his legs, and he watched the pair make a few laps. It was still early so it wasn’t too busy, and Jacob’s confidence soared, the boy happily circling the rink, clinging on to the handle of the penguin, a huge smile on his face. Harry skated over, stopping easily in front of Louis and extending a hand out to his boyfriend.

“Your turn for Mr Styles’ ice skating 101,” he laughed, supporting Louis as he stepped onto the ice. Louis’ foot went straight out under him and Harry grabbed him around the waist, pulling him close with a chuckle. “No need to throw yourself around if you want to get close to me,” he teased again, Louis rolling his eyes as he struggled to get his balance again. This time, Harry skated backwards in front of Louis, holding on tightly to his hands, watching Louis’ legs propel him forwards. “Hey, you’re doing it! Well done babe!”

“I am not a fucking toddler, Harry,” Louis huffed, a bit embarrassed that this was harder than it looked. His eyes flitted around for Jacob, and he was pleased to see the little boy was skating around next to a girl who looked about the same age, both with their penguins in front of them keeping them upright. Jacob waved over, and Harry waved but Louis gripped at Harry’s coat when he let go, feeling untethered when Harry released him from his safe hold. “Do not fucking let me go, Styles. I am not getting a bruised arse from this.”

“Well, I’ll kiss it better if you do,” he said with a smirk, and even Louis couldn’t stop himself laughing at that. “Try on your own, just for a second, I’m not going anywhere, just look at me and keep your legs going like you are now.” Harry carefully slipped his hands out of Louis’ and watched with an encouraging smile as Louis skated a few feet, but before either of them knew what was happening, Louis was stumbling and was on his butt on the ice, Harry with a shocked expression staring down at him.

“Fucking OW!” Louis cried, cheeks red and butt sore from his sudden landing. Harry skated over, skidding to a stop and stilled himself, using his skates to steady Louis’ own so he could get back to his feet. “You didn't bloody catch me Harry and my ass hurts. That’s on YOU. We can’t all be as graceful as you, fuck’s sakes.” He huffed and grabbed Harry’s hand tightly, determined not to let go this time. “If I fall over again, you aren’t getting a shag for a month, I swear to God…”

Unfortunately for Harry, it wasn’t the first Louis’ ass hit the ice. After the fifth fall, Louis stropped off, telling Harry he’d had enough, that he needed to rest and Harry reluctantly helped him over to the barrier, watching him head over to a bench. Louis waved him off, so Harry decided to show off for a bit. He span around on the ice a few times, picking up a bit of speed, doing a few fancy turns and jumps, knowing full well Louis’ eyes were locked on him. Jacob went past then so Harry chased him, stopping and chatting quietly for a second.

Louis was shocked to see Harry push the penguin away to the side and Jacob took his hands, skating slowly with Harry facing him, and it seemed his son had much better balance than Louis did. Jacob nodded then to something Harry said, and Louis’ heart rose up into his throat as Harry let go of his hold on Jacob, encouraging the boy to skate towards him. Jacob did, and the proud smile on Harry’s face was everything as he skated solo over to Harry, who picked him up and span him around, Jacob giggles and shrieks sounding out loudly over the crowds, lots of people grinning at the cute scene.

“Hey, you were amazing, love!” Louis said, picking up Jacob as he and Harry slowly made their way off the ice, legs a bit achey and cold setting in to their bones now. “You were definitely better than me, think I spent most of my time on my bum!” Jacob giggled at that, and let Louis pull his skates off, slipping his feet back into his little Vans. Harry took Louis’ skates off for him and put his shoes on the floor for him, sorting himself out last of all.

“Thank you sweetheart,” Louis said softly, hoping Harry knew there wasn’t really any hard feelings about the skating. Despite the fact he had been rubbish, he’d had a good time and seeing the joy on Harry and Jacob’s faces made it worth it for him. Jacob and Harry walked off together to give the skates back and get Harry’s deposit back, and Louis just sat back watching them, wondering how he got so lucky.

Jacob stood between them as they walked back to the car, holding each of their hands, Harry and Louis swinging him up high between them, getting some looks from members of the public. A few people approached for photos but Harry begged off, saying he was with his family but that it was lovely to meet people, and Louis was oddly touched how Harry was putting them first, risking upsetting his fans just for them. He kissed him as they got into the car, turning up the heating to warm them up, already looking forward to getting home with his boys.

  


*****

“Thank you for having him Anne, we really appreciate it,” Louis said as he handed over Jacob’s little overnight bag. Jacob wasn’t meant to be going to stay with Anne and Robin until tomorrow afternoon, but they’d called Harry earlier asking if they would mind Jacob coming tonight, since they had plans for tomorrow with the boy. They’d asked Jacob, and he was more than happy to go, darting off up the stairs to pack his bag, lugging it down the stairs afterwards.

Harry had driven them all over to his Mum's, and Jacob had given them both lots of hugs and kisses, practically pushing his dads out of the door to get rid of them, excited for his first sleepover with Nanny Anne and Grandad Robin. Louis loved that he was so keen, and it certainly made him feel more at ease leaving his son there. He hugged Jacob again.

“Dad, take Daddy home so he stops hugging me, I wanna have fun with Nanny Anne now!” Jacob whined, wriggling out of Louis’ millionth hug of the night. Harry laughed and pulled Louis away with a hand around his wrist.

“Come on you, let’s leave them to it.” They both waved bye to Jacob again, the little boy stood waving at the door between Anne and Robin, looking more than happy to be left behind. Louis couldn’t quite believe sometimes how quickly his son was growing up, and he waved until they turned the corner, Jacob out of sight now. “Now you’re mine,” Harry teased as they drove home pulling up outside their house around twenty minutes later.

“I’m just going to get in the shower,” Louis called as they kicked off their shoes. “Then I’ll sort us some dinner.” He plodded up the stairs and stripped off his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the bedroom floor before he went through the bathroom, turning the shower on. When it was the right temperature, he slid the glass door back and stepped under the warm water, letting it rain down over him, warming up his chilly body.

He was just washing his hair when the door slid open, and Harry joined him in the shower. This was something they didn't get to do too often unless Jacob was asleep, knowing it would invite too many questions, and honestly, sharing a shower was too much of a temptation to them both. Louis turned and smiled at his boyfriend, resting his cheek on Harry’s bare chest, enjoying how Harry was running his finger tips up and down Louis’ spine.

Harry picked up the body wash from the side of the bath where it was stood next to Jacob’s Batman body wash and Johnson’s kids shampoo, and squirted some into his palm. He spent time cleaning Louis’ body carefully, kissing him as he did so, and both men loved the intimacy of such an act. Louis let his head loll forwards onto Harry’s chest as Harry cleaned between his legs, cock responding to the familiar touch, despite the fact he didn't want anything to happen in the shower just yet.

He took the body wash from Harry and returned the favour, taking care with Harry as he had done with him. When he’d finished, he looped his arms up, letting them rest on Harry’s broad shoulders. He frowned when he noticed a little dressing on the back of Harry’s shoulder blade, touching it gently.

“You hurt yourself babe?” Louis said, cursing the fact he somehow hadn’t noticed it before. They’d had a hectic few days and hadn’t had much time for sex, so it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility Louis had overlooked this. Harry bit his lip and shook his head slightly, curls dripping down the side of his face. He turned around, pressing his back to Louis’ chest.

“Take it off, be gentle though,” Harry whispered, and Louis let his fingers creep up the knobs of Harry’s spine, picking at the edge of the dressing until it started to come away from Harry’s skin. As he removed it, he gasped, shocked by what he saw in front of him. He stood up on tiptoes and kissed the slightly red skin gently, feeling emotional, tears stinging at his eyes. “You like it?”

“Oh Harry,” Louis breathed out, grabbing at Harry’s bare hips and spinning him around. “I love it, I love you so much.”

“It’s you, you know. The sun. You said when you got your moon and stars that Jacob and I shine, that we’re meant to be together. But we only shine because you let us. You let your love shine on us, and it makes us brighter than we could ever be on our own. You’re the reason we both shine and smile so much. I love you, Louis, more than I can ever, ever tell you.” Louis pulled Harry down into a deep and passionate kiss then, trying to make him understand how much he loved him too, how much the tattoo meant to him.

“Let me take you to bed,” Harry murmured into Louis’ ear then, and all he could do was nod. Harry reached around behind him and shut the water off, grabbing a couple of towels from where Louis had dumped them on the side before he’d gotten in. They dried off quickly, and Louis slipped his hand into Harry’s as they walked through to the bedroom, pulling back the covers. Louis went to lay down but Harry stopped him, holding him firmly at the waist.

“I want to kiss you,” he began, looking deep into Louis’ eyes and Louis couldn’t help but notice how his pupils were already blown. Louis let his eyes dip down, taking in the sight of Harry’s body bare in front of him and he swallowed heavily, willing Harry to continue.

“You can kiss me, anytime-” Louis said, but Harry cut him off with a quick kiss to his lips.

“I don’t wanna kiss you here,” he said, pressing a fingertip to Louis’ lips. He dragged the finger down, stopping at Louis’ collarbones then his nipples. “Not here either.” Louis’ breath hitched as he wondered where on this was all leading. Harry’s fingers continued to move, settling on his hips now. “Not here. Or here.”

Louis moaned as Harry’s fingers grazed down his cock. “I would love to kiss you here but not right now…”

His hand came back up and slowly drifted around, grazing over the curve of the top of Louis’ bum. Harry leaned in close then, his breath tickling at Louis’ ear as he pushed his finger further down, down between Louis’ cheeks, resting lightly at his rim. Louis thought his heart had stopped as Harry leaned in, whispering into his ear.

“I wanna kiss you here.” He pressed his finger forwards gently against his rim, then licked at Louis’ earlobe, then pressing kisses along Louis’ jaw, feeling the throb of his pulse point at his words. “Can I kiss you here, Lou?”

“Fuck,” Louis breathed out, heart thumping wildly inside his chest. “I’ve never - my god, but yeah, yes, please, I want it-” Harry captured his lips in a kiss then and walked them both carefully over to the bed. He pushed Louis backwards, letting him land softly on the mattress and crawled on top of him, kissing his way up Louis’ body until their lips met again. Harry’s hand stroked down his body, wrapping around Louis’ cock and stroking him to full hardness, Louis’ mind now full of the thoughts of what Harry was going to do.

“Want you on your hands and knees, okay?” Harry said quietly, the tension in the room palpable. Louis nodded, feeling a bit breathless now as he flipped his body over. He wasn’t a stranger to this position, him and Harry enjoying rough sex like this sometimes but it felt different in that moment, knowing what Harry was planning. “If you don’t like it, just say, okay? I want this to be good for you baby.” Louis nodded, peering back at Harry over his shoulder. “Okay, I’m gonna start sweetheart. Love you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into Louis’ shoulder before he slid down, settling down behind Louis.

Louis held his breath, flinching slightly as Harry’s hands came up to his cheeks, pulling them apart slowly before kissing each of his cheeks in turn, again, something that wasn’t unusual for them. The next thing he knew there was hot breath ghosting over his entrance and he cried out as Harry’s tongue darted out, licking a broad stripe over his hole.

“Oh fuck- Harry! Christ, oh my god-” Louis rambled, letting his head hang down to the mattress, his arms wobbling as he struggled to hold himself up. Harry was relentless, diving in straight back in and licking all around, tongue flicking against Louis’ most private place, driving him wild with the feeling. He’d never even considered this a thing that people do before but now, he never wanted Harry to stop.

“Taste so good Lou, wanna always kiss you here,” Harry muttered before exacting little kitten licks over Louis’ rim, pressing forwards slightly, making Louis push backwards with his hips, feeling totally out of control now. It was sloppy, Louis was ridiculously wet between his legs but he didn't care, he was just chasing the feelings Harry was giving him. “Wanna make you come, can you come from my tongue?”

Louis just moaned and whined, reaching a hand back and grabbing Harry by the hair, guiding him back to where he wanted him most. Harry poked his tongue out and pushed until the tip breached Louis’ tight ring of muscle, fingers digging into the flesh of his backside as he licked him, deep and dirty. Harry thrust forwards a little bit more, and that was all Louis could take.

He screamed out as he came hard, spurting all over the sheets beneath him, Harry licking him through his orgasm, watching Louis’ body shaking, how his arms finally gave out, Louis collapsing onto the bed under the force of everything. He was almost sobbing, and Harry pressed a few small kisses to his entrance before flipping Louis over onto his back, sitting on his shins between his calves again, pulling his hands away from his face.

“I wanna, can I fuck you Lou, need to be inside you-” Louis just nodded, knowing he was going to be oversensitive but he wanted Harry to feel as good as he’d just made him feel too. Harry grabbed a bottle of lube from the bedside table and made quick work of opening Louis up on three fingers, his boy writhing around on the sheets underneath him, Harry feeling harder than ever. He quickly lubed up his cock, lining the tip up against Louis' entrance, locking eyes as he pushed forwards, breaching Louis body.

“Oh god-” Louis wailed as Harry bottomed out, head hanging low as he concentrated on not coming into Louis straight away. Harry withdrew slowly, leaving just the tip of his dick inside Louis and thrust forwards quickly, driving Louis up the bed with the force. Louis’ fingers scrabbled for purchase on the sheets and just laid there, taking what Harry to give him, overwhelmed by now at all the sensations zooming through his body, completely at Harry’s mercy.

“I love you so fucking much, mine forever,” Harry said as he thrust into Louis, leaning down low, torsos touching as they kissed their way through their sex, Harry driving himself closer and closer to the edge.

“Forever,” Louis managed to say, and that was Harry’s undoing. He shouted Louis’ name as he came deep inside him, thrusting until it hurts, letting himself fill Louis up with his love and release. Louis’ hands held on tightly around Harry’s neck as they kissed through his orgasm, and Harry snuck a hand between their bodies, stroking Louis to his second orgasm on the night, a small amount of come coating Harry’s hand as he came, panting heavily into Harry’s neck.

“You and me, forever,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ softly, still buried inside him, neither wanting to break the connection just yet. “I want this, us, our family, forever. Want to grow old with you, want it all, Lou.”

“Me too, only want you,” Louis agreed, spent and exhausted on the mattress but he knew right then, there was nowhere else he would ever want to be.

*****

The next evening, they found themselves at Zayn’s New Year’s party. Despite the fact Zayn said it was a party, it was really just a group of friends hanging out, drinking beer and looking forward to welcoming in the New Year together. Harry and Louis had FaceTimed Jacob earlier, the little boy excited by the amazing day out he’d had with Anne and Robin at _Winter Wonderland_ in Hyde Park in London, Louis a bit gobsmacked they’d treated Jacob like that. He’d spoken for ages about the fun he’d had, and Louis was hit with a pang of longing for his boy, not having spent two nights away from him before.

Harry had been conscious of that fact, and had done his best to distract Louis all day, knowing by the time the party at Zayn’s had arrived, Louis would be feeling a little better. He was already too excited to see the New Year in with Louis. It had been too long since he’d kissed anyone at midnight, and he had something up his sleeve for the moment.

Since last night and what had transpired between them, Louis had been very clingy, not wanting to leave Harry’s side all night. There was quite a few new people there that hadn’t met Harry before, and they got the photos out of the way quickly, everyone quickly accepting Harry into their circle as Louis’ boyfriend after that, much to their relief. It was odd to Louis, and to Zayn and Stan as well, as they’d spent so much time with Harry, they’d simply forgotten that to everyone else he was Harry Styles, not just the Harry they knew as Jacob’s Dad and Louis’ boyfriend.

“Five minutes to go,” Harry said, bending down slightly to whisper into Louis’ ear. Louis was stood in front of him, and Harry had his arms around his waist. Louis knew they looked disgustingly coupley like that but he didn't care. All he wanted was Harry, and sod what anyone else thought. They’d had fun at Zayn’s, chatting with friends, getting pleasantly tipsy on cheap beer but part of Louis just wanted to go home, to cuddle Harry all night long under the covers, maybe kiss his boyfriend a little bit too.

They talked quietly as they watched London prepare for the moment on Zayn’s television, and when the countdown started, everyone shuffled around, looking for someone to kiss at midnight as they entered 2019. Louis spun round in Harry’s hold, not needing to look far for his midnight kiss. He smiled up at him, and counted out loud with everyone in the room.

“5.. 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!” Everyone called into the room, cheering as Big Ben chimed on the TV.

Harry smiled and cupped Louis’ cheek, drawing him into a tender kiss, their eyes shut as they lost themselves in the moment. Harry’s hands rested on Louis’ hips, Louis’ up around Harry's shoulders, and everything about the moment felt perfect. It wasn’t too much, given that they were in a relatively public setting, but their tongues brushed gently, not wanting to part just yet.

Harry pulled away, staring in the abyss that was Louis’ beautiful blue eyes.

“I wanna move in with you,” he said so softly, Louis almost missed it. “Officially, I mean. I want us to live together, as a family, wherever you want Lou. I just want it to be us, together, forever and always. Do you want that, want to live with me?”

“Fuck yes,” Louis said with a wide grin on his face. “Want that more than anything. You want to live at mine, or us come to yours or what?”

“Whatever you want, my love,” he said softly, pecking Louis’ lips gently. “We can look at getting somewhere of our own if you want, somewhere that’s ours, not yours or mine. I just want to be with you and Jacob, wherever that is. I love you, Lou. This is going to be our year, I can feel it.”

“I love you too,” Louis replied back, sliding his hands in Harry’s jeans pockets. “Never planning on letting you get away from me. I want a life with you, Harry.”

“Forever, baby,” Harry said, kissing Louis again, their words drifting off into the night, the promise of a New Year full of love and excitement ahead of them, and they both couldn’t wait. "Happy New Year, sweetheart."


	18. A Thousand Miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has to leave his family behind when he goes to Europe to promote his new album, and they all struggle with the separation, dealing with it in their own ways...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manips used within belong to their creators, I have simply used them to enhance the story! All credit to their owners/creators.

**March 2019**   
  
“So where are you going first Dad, is it here?” Jacob said, pointing blindly at the big European map Harry had laid out on the kitchen table. Harry chuckled and shook his head, pulling Jacob on to his lap so he could explain it to him, for what felt like the millionth time. Louis always admired the patience Harry had with his son, but for Harry, it came naturally. He got the little piece of paper out from his pocket and spread it on the table, so he could show Jacob exactly where he’d be going.

“I’m starting in Germany, a place called Munich, then I’m going to Berlin, in Germany again. Then to Italy, Spain, France, Sweden, then up to Scotland and Ireland before I come back home.” Jacob was watching Harry’s finger intently as it moved around the map, nodding as he listened, trying to get his head around Harry’s travel itinerary for the next few weeks. “So I’m going to be busy, on lots of buses and planes, but it should be quite fun, I like travelling and meeting new fans.”

“But why can’t I come? Or Daddy? You’ll be lonely without us, and I’m going to really miss you.” Jacob looked a little sad at the prospect of Harry being lonely out on the road, and Harry hugged him tighter then, wishing he didn't have to leave.

“Remember my band are going with me, so I’ll have Clare, Sarah, Adam and Mitch to keep me company. I know we’re going to miss each other love, but you have school, and Daddy has to work. Hopefully next time I can work it so that I go out on tour when you two are on holiday too so you can come with me. It’s only a few weeks though, and I’m sure we can FaceTime lots before you go to bed so you can tell me all about school and what you’ve been up to.”

“Make sure you call me every single day,” Jacob said to Harry with the most serious expression on his face. “I need to tell you I love you before I go to sleep or I won’t sleep all night and I’ll be tired and Daddy will be cross. When are you going?”

“On Saturday, sweetheart,” Harry said, feeling a little down now. He wished he didn't have to leave his family, but the album was coming out in just two days, on Friday, and it was important he got as much promo in as he could to make the album a big success. This album meant the most to him out of all of his records so far, given that it was so personal. Every time he listened to it, or heard it being blasted from Jacob’s room, he was taken back to how he felt when he wrote the lyrics, how he felt, and still feels, about his Louis. Pretty much all of the songs were inspired by his boyfriend, and there was even one on there about Jacob. Even if the album flopped commercially, it would always be the album he was most proud of.

“Daddy will be back from Tesco soon, want to read a bit of your reading book to me, get that done?” Jacob nodded eagerly and jumped off Harry’s lap, running to the hallway and coming back with his bookbag. Harry pulled out his reading book, handing it over to Jacob, and set out the reading diary in front of him, ready to write a comment when Jacob was done. He listened carefully, prompting Jacob as he read, talking about the pictures with him. He heard the door click open but told Jacob to continue, knowing there was only 2 pages left to go.

“Super reading, love, you’re doing so well! You’ll be moved up book bands in no time, I bet!” Harry said with a grin, standing up and turning to see Louis in the doorway, grinning at the pair of them. “Hang on Lou, let me just write in Jake’s book and I’ll help you with the bags.” He scribbled furiously, and held it up for Louis to read, big smiles on both of their faces at his words.

_Super reading Jacob! Really proud of your enthusiasm, and how much you love reading to me. Well done! Dad x_

Louis bit his lip, unable to resist hurrying over to Harry and pecking him on the lips for his sweet words in Jacob’s reading diary. Jacob grabbed both books and stuffed them back into his bag, leaving the room to put them in the hall, ready for the next morning. Harry and Louis followed him out into the hall, grabbing a few shopping bags each and walking them through to the kitchen. The domesticity of unpacking the shopping, and chatting to Louis about their plans for the next few days filled Harry with warmth, and he stood still suddenly, tins of soup in his hands, just staring at his boyfriend, putting Jacob’s lunchbox drinks away in the cupboard.

“Well, I don’t think- what, why are you looking at me like that?” Louis frowned when he realised Harry was staring at him. He tilted his head to the side slightly, smiling softly at his boyfriend. “What?”

“Nothing,” Harry shrugged, setting the soup cans on the side, moving into Louis’ personal space. He put his hands on Louis’ hips, looking down at him. “Just love this, being like this with you and Jake. Going to miss you both so much, I don’t wanna leave. Love you, Lou.”

“I love you too, you giant sap. I’m going to miss you too, but we went like twenty odd years without each other… I think we can probably manage two weeks apart.” He stood on his tip toes and kissed Harry quickly, the taller man shaking his head.

“I know we did, but I didn't know what I was missing back then, did I? Now I’ve got you, both of you, I don’t want to let you go or be without you. Come with me next time, please?” Louis nodded again and turned away, putting more of the shopping away, handing Harry a bag of things to put in the fridge behind him. “You’re coming with me to the airport, right?”

“Yeah, of course. We’ll drop you off, and we’ll be there to meet you as well when you come home. Come on baby, don’t be too down. Let’s enjoy these few days and not worry about it. We’ve got that house appointment tomorrow after school, haven’t we? Zayn’s going to collect Jacob for us so we can go by ourselves.” Harry smiled at the thought of house-hunting with Louis. They’d been actively looking for a new home to share since Harry had told Louis he wanted to live with him officially, but nothing had caught their eye just yet. There was no hurry, since Harry was all but moved in to Louis’ house as it was but still, he wanted somewhere to call theirs, that he and Louis owned together.

“Can’t wait,” Harry said, grinning at Louis over his shoulder. “Now, I assume I’m cooking, so what do you fancy?”

“You.” Harry threw his head back and laughed loudly at Louis’ cheekiness, crowding him up against the counter, kissing him deeply, gripping at the skin of his hips above the waistband of his skinny jeans. “Always you.”

*****

“You all packed then?” Louis asked through the glass door of the shower, Harry sat outside on the closed toilet seat, sending a few emails to finalise arrangements for tomorrow morning. He winced as shampoo dripped into his eye, and he grabbed for a flannel from the side, wiping the suds away from his eyes.

“Yeah, think so,” Harry said, powering the phone off, grinning at the sight of Louis through the glass. Normally, he’d get in there with him but he’d showered a little while ago, and he liked sitting here chatting with him anyway. Jacob had been tearful when Harry had put him to bed earlier, but he promised him he could go with them to the airport which calmed him down a little bit.

Louis finished washing himself and shut the shower off, so Harry grabbed a towel, passing it to Louis as he stepped out from the cubicle, unable to stop his eyes raking down Louis’ bare body.

“My eyes are up here, Styles,” Louis said with a smirk, wrapping the towel around his waist, ignoring the water droplets running down his torso.

“Oh come on, I’m going to miss this body for the next few weeks,” Harry said, standing up and running his palms down Louis’ wet chest, bending down to kiss his neck, Louis arching his head back to give Harry more room to kiss him. “Need you to give me a good memory to see me through til we can do this again,” he murmured, sending a shiver up Louis’ spine. “Wanna be inside you, want to remember that feeling, can I Lou?”

“Shit, yes-” Louis said, letting his towel drop to the floor, pressing his bare body up against Harry’s tugging at his t-shirt until Harry pulled it over to his head, letting it fly across the room and onto the bathroom floor. Harry gripped up under his bum and Louis jumped up, wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist as he carried him into their bedroom, loving how Harry enjoyed carrying him around. It felt even better since he was naked and Harry was clothed, and Louis felt pretty wanton in that moment.

He let Harry drop him down to the bed, watching with hungry eyes as Harry ripped his clothes off, throwing them onto the floor before climbing onto the bed and crawling over Louis, smirking down at him. He was sat on Louis’ lap, Louis’ hardening cock nestled between his cheeks as he leant over and kissed Louis, their tongues meeting desperately, both determined to savour the last bit of intimacy they would have for a while. Louis moaned as Harry pressed his hips forwards, grinding their cocks together, and he pulled away from Harry’s lips, angling his head so he could suck a love bite into the side of Harry’s neck, Harry hissing at the sting.

“Fucking hell Lou, I’m not a 16 year old girl, I’ve gotta go around with this thing on my neck,” he moaned, touching the area, knowing it wouldn’t be easy to hide. Louis just smirked at that, pressing his thumb into the bruise, making it hurt slightly.

“Everyone will know you’re mine,” he shrugged, watching as Harry leant across and grabbed their bottle of lube from the bedside drawer, dropping it onto the mattress next to Louis’ body. He slowly but surely opened Louis up with his fingers, until he was practically begging for more. What Harry didn't expect though was for Louis to push him off just as Harry pulled his fingers from Louis’ warmth, and shoved him down on his back, clambering on top of him. “Gonna ride you, make it so you can’t forget me while you’re gone.”

“Could never for- fuck, Louis!” Harry threw his arms backwards, grabbing onto the headboard as Louis sunk down quickly on his cock, bottoming out in one movement. Slowly, he cracked his eyes open and watched as Louis started to circle his hips, hands braced on Harry’s chest, fingertips digging in as he got used to the sensation of being filled with Harry.

“So full, shit, feel so good baby,” Louis murmured, rocking gently, his body stretching around Harry, accommodating him. It didn't seem to matter how much Louis bottomed with Harry, his body still needed time to get used to him, and he knew Harry enjoyed how tight he felt around him, that it drove him wild, especially with Louis on top. He opened his eyes, looking into Harry’s as he started bouncing slowly, feel the stretch in his quads as he raised and lowered himself onto Harry over and over.

“You are so fucking gorgeous,” Harry moaned from underneath, his hands coming up from Louis’ hips, touching all over his chest, pulling lightly at his nipples, making Louis whimper. “Gonna miss this, my hand isn’t gonna be enough, need you and your body…” Louis nodded, already knowing how much he’d miss this side of the relationship he had with Harry. He’d gone without sex for so long before Harry, but now he had it, he didn't think he could live without it again.

“Close babe,” Louis practically whispered, his bounces becoming more prominent now as he worked himself over Harry’s cock, finding an angle that would send him over the edge. He cried out as Harry’s cock slid further inside him and grazed his prostate, grinding down harder then, Harry gritting his teeth to stop himself from coming just yet. “Oh god, Harry-”

“Come on me baby, want it on me,” Harry said and Louis did, letting go with a cry as he stroked himself quickly to orgasm, his come shooting all over Harry’s body underneath him. He was panting with the exertion, slumping down, losing the energy to keep going, and had his breath taken away again when Harry flipped them, not slipping free from Louis’ body, hooking one of Louis’ legs over his shoulder as he jostled them into position.

His free hand came down next to Louis’ head, holding on to Louis’ own hand and he kissed him harshly, the stubble on his jaw rubbing against Louis’ freshly shaven face, hoping it would leave traces of him for when he was gone. They kissed longingly, sloppy and passionate as Harry thrust hard and fast into Louis, his orgasm rapidly approaching, his hand gripping Louis’ so tightly, never wanting to let go.

“Love you, fuck, love you love you love you-” he chanted as his body finally succumbed to the pleasure, Harry forcing his cock deep inside Louis as he came hard into his body, kissing as he filled up the man beneath him. He stilled, shaking slightly as he kissed Louis gently, the kisses he wanted him to remember for the next two or so weeks. “Lou, love you, I don’t want to go, want to stay here with you, with Jake…”

“Baby I know, I love you. But we can do this, it’s two weeks. I love you Harry.” Harry slowly pulled out, not bothering to clean either of them off as they tangled up together on the bed, naked limbs wrapped around each other as they hugged each other like it would be the last one they would have.

*****

 

“Harry! Going to enjoy time without the family?”

“Going to go out and have some fun without the kid around?”

“HARRY! Give us a smile mate, Louis, Jacob, over here!”

Harry gritted his teeth and kept his head down, Jacob wrapped tightly around him as they stalked together into the airport. He had hold of Louis with his free hand, and while he hated this bit, he knew he wouldn’t change a thing about that morning. Louis had woken up early and made love to Harry, both shedding a few tears as they realised they really were being separated today. Jacob came in not long after they’d finished and they cuddled as a family for a while until time ticked away, and they had to get a move on.

Louis had driven them to the airport, the car quiet with a tension that wasn’t usually around when they were together. Now, though, he was wishing he could take out some sort of restraining order on the paparazzi, especially when they had Jacob with him. If his son ever got hurt, he didn't know what he would do. They stepped through the automatic doors, Harry’s bodyguards surrounding them, hauling his cases behind them.

They were met by a member of the airline staff and were hurried through the more private check in area, much to Louis’ relief. This was the downside to falling in love with a famous person, dealing with this kind of shit, and he’d be glad when Harry was home and they could go back to pottering around their own town, everyone used to seeing them around by now, only stopping to wave or ask polite questions. This was like some kind of living hell, and he admired that Harry had been dealing with this for years and hadn’t snapped yet.

“Bloody hell, are you both okay?” Harry asked as they stepped into the sanctuary of the private area, setting Jacob down on his feet, checking him over head to toe, relieved to see they were both fine.

“We’re good, glad that’s out of the way,” Louis said, hugging his son who had stepped over to him. Jacob had been quiet all morning, and Louis knew he was worried that Harry wouldn’t come back once he left for Europe, despite both of them insisting otherwise at every opportunity to the little boy. Harry dealt with checking himself in while Louis and Jacob chatted to his security team, all friendly now after months of dealing with these situations. There was a tug at Louis’ sleeve then, and Jacob was looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Daddy, where is the letter for Hazzy?” Louis nodded and swung his rucksack around, taking out the little pink envelope Jacob had given him earlier that morning while Harry had got dressed in their room. Louis hadn’t been able to read it since it was sealed but he was knew it was important to Jacob, whatever it was. Jacob took it politely and walked slowly over to Harry, waiting until he’d finished with the airport staff to get his attention.

“Oh, what’s this love?” Harry said, taking the envelope with a smile, going to open it.

“No! Don’t open it until you get to your first house,” Jacob said, confusing the fact Harry was staying in hotel’s, not houses while he was away in Europe. “I writed it yesterday and I hope you can write back to me.” Harry picked him up, tucking the envelope into the back pocket of his jeans, promising to open it later as he hugged the boy tightly, already feeling emotional.

All too soon, it was time to say goodbye, and it was harder than any of them ever imagined. Jacob started crying as soon as he realised it was that time, and that just made it worse, especially for Harry. He sat down on the floor and pulled Jacob onto his lap, willing his own tears not to fall as he hugged and kissed his boy, for the last time in a few weeks. When Jacob finally let him go, he stood up and stepped over to Louis, holding both of his hands in his own.

“I’m going to miss you more than you will ever know,” he whispered, pressing their foreheads together gently, squeezing Louis’ hands gently, hearing his uneven breaths, both trying their best not to break down. Louis broke first, stifling a sob as he grabbed Harry in a hug, clutching the fabric of his shirt behind his back, inhaling his scent, the feel of his body inside his arms. “I love you, Louis. It’s only you, will only ever be you.”

“I love you too, so much Harry,” he mumbled back, wiping his eyes on Harry’s shirt. “Hurry home to us, okay?” Harry nodded, swallowing down the huge lump in his throat. They parted enough to kiss for a few seconds, Jacob being distracted by the security guards while they said their own private goodbyes. Louis decided not to string it out any longer, and picked Jacob up, taking in a deep breath, steeling himself for the final goodbye.

“Be safe, okay? And call us, every day please. Even if it’s only for a minute, I just want to talk to you-”

“So do I!” Jacob piped up, roughly swiping away his tears with his sleeve. “Love you Dad, I miss you already.”

“Me too, buddy. Love you both, my beautiful boys. I’ll see you soon, okay? Really soon, I promise.” He wrapped his arms around both of them one last time and finally released them, watching as they headed for the door, one of Harry’s security guards following them for safety purposes. They both turned and gave Harry wobbly smiles, disappearing through the door. Harry slumped down against the door and sobbed into his folded arms on his knees, wondering how many times he could go through this, leaving his family behind.

*****

Harry sighed as he flopped down onto the hotel bed, letting the peace and quiet sink in. The flight over to Germany hadn’t been too bad, but as usual, he was mobbed when he touched down, and somehow the fans had found out where he was staying, and it had been a bit of a struggle getting in to the hotel safely. In that moment, he was glad Louis and Jacob weren’t with him, because it was loud and crazy, Harry literally being herded into the building, blind to his surroundings for those few seconds. He pulled his phone from his pocket and smiled when he saw a few texts from Louis and Jacob, pulling up his messages app before he called them.

 

Harry stood up and grabbed his cabin bag, sliding the pink envelope out of the side pocket where he had put it at the airport after Jacob and Louis had left for safe keeping. He smiled at the DAD written in bubble letters on the front, and slid his finger under the flap at the back, pulling out the folded piece of paper. He straightened it out and read, eyes filling with tears at the words.

_To the bestest Dad ever_

_I miss you alredy but I wont to say have a very good tighm in Yurop and meeting the poepl who lighk your songs. I will allways be yor biggist fan._

_I love you very much and I howp you come home soon to me and Daddy cos we are sad without you._

_Love from yor son_

_Jacob Tomlinson xxxxxxx_

Harry sat and cried for a few seconds, kissing the piece of paper before popping it back into the envelope and into his bag, knowing he wouldn’t want to lose it, that he would read it again and again, over and over. He gathered himself, grabbing a water bottle from the mini fridge in the corner of the room and took a few swigs before he hit dial on the phone, the dial tone buzzing a few times before Louis finally picked up.

“Hey you!” Louis’ cheerful voice came through the speaker, Harry flopping back onto the bed with a big grin on his face at hearing the familar voice. “Jake! Come here love, someone's on the phone for you!”

“Is that Dad?! Dad! Is that you? I miss you!” came a little voice through the phone and Harry laughed, nodding before he realised he had to speak, that his boys couldn’t see him just yet.

“It’s me, love. I miss you too, both of you. Everything okay at home?”

“Yeah, all good. Just making dinner, got sausages and waffles, Jacob’s choice to try and cheer him up. You safe and sound now then? How is Germany so far?”

“Mad,” Harry said with a chuckle, already feeling more settled from just their short conversation. Louis and Jacob always had this habit of calming him down, and he knew he’d probably be spending many evenings on the phone to the pair of them. “Bit of a gaggle of fans outside the hotel but I’m in now, got a nice suite too.”

“Like our one in America?” came Jacob’s little voice, Louis grunting as Jacob probably climbed onto his lap, joining in on the call now.

“Yes, like that love,” Harry said. “Jacob, I just read your letter and it was beautiful sweetheart. I loved it, it made me cry a little bit!”

“I’m sorry Dad, I don’t want you to cry-”

“No, no,” Harry hurried to say, hearing sniffs through the phone. “It made me cry because I was so happy, because it made me feel so loved by you.” Harry held the phone away from him for a second, taking a deep breath, not wanting Jacob to know he was crying again. Louis, though, sensed it. “Love you, Jacob. I can’t wait to see you again, and I’ll definitely have a few pressies for you when I’m home.”

“Yay! I love presents,” Jacob said, Louis laughing in the background. “I’m going to go and write you another letter Dad, love you!” Harry heard his feet hit the kitchen floor and run off, leaving him and Louis alone for a few minutes, Harry aware he had a meeting to get to shortly.

“Is he alright? Was the airport okay after you left?” Harry asked, concerned for their well being as always.

“Yeah, I mean, the paps were shouting and stuff but I just carried Jake out to the car and Rob was great as always, looked after us.” He paused for a second, and his next sentence came through the phone quietly. “I miss you, H. I know that’s daft cos it’s only been about 5 hours, but I do.”

“If you’re daft, then so am I,” Harry said with a smile. “Miss you both, so much. I love you, Lou. Already can’t wait to be home.” They talked for a little while longer, Jacob eventually joining them to say goodbye and they all ended the call with big smiles, hearts full and already wishing the next two weeks away.

*****

It had been 8 days since Harry had gone, and Louis was missing him terribly, as was Jacob. He’d just finished a bit of a gruelling day at school. Some of the kids had gotten into a fight at playtime and he’d spend most of his afternoon cleaning grazed knees and elbows, wiping tears and doling out hugs. He felt drained,and it was the first night since Harry had left he really wished he had Harry to come home to. Jacob hopped down from the backseat of Harry’s car, which they’d been using since he’d been away, and Louis had to admit he was getting a bit too used to the luxury of it. He let them both in and Jacob ran upstairs to get changed.

Zayn was coming round for dinner in a while, and Louis sighed as he looked around the sitting room, at the mess his house was in. He made a half-hearted effort to tidy up a bit while Jacob played one of the games Harry had downloaded onto his iPad for him. The front door bell rang, and Louis headed over, opening it and smiling at his neighbour stood in front of him.

She handed over a parcel with that day’s post and they chatted for a minute, until Louis told her he really had to get dinner going, and as she walked off, he spotted Zayn’s car coming to a stop behind Harry’s on his driveway. He raised his hand and went indoors, knowing Zayn would follow him in. He rifled through the post, putting the parcel on the kitchen table, smiling when he saw familiar handwriting on an envelope.

“Jake! You’ve got some post, love!” he called up the stairs, and he heard a quick exchange between Zayn and Jacob, before they both came into the kitchen, Jacob on Zayn’s hip. He had a big smile because he didn't often get post unless it was his birthday, and he wriggled until Zayn put him down, jumping around eagerly in front of Louis.

“Did the Queen write to me?” Louis frowned, shaking his head in confusion. “Oh, I thought cos we writed her those letters in class she might have writed back to me. Who is it then Daddy?”

Louis smiled and handed over the white envelope, catching Zayn’s eye, both knowing who it was from based on the handwriting. “Well, open it up and read it,” he said, the three of them taking a seat around the table, Jacob on Louis’ knee.

He watched Jacob struggle with the envelope and peeled back a bit of the flap for him, the little boy tearing the rest across and pulling out the thick sky blue paper inside it, holding it so Louis could read it aloud for him. Jacob gasped as he saw the name at the bottom.

“It’s from Dad! He writed to me, look Zayn!”

“I see buddy, that’s so cool of him. Let Daddy read it out so you know what it says.”

_To the best son ever Jacob_

_I promised you at the airport I would write back when I’d read your letter, so here it is! I hope it made you smile, I used to love getting letters when I was your age._

_I hope you’re being a good boy for Daddy and looking after him for me. I miss you both very much, and I already can’t wait to come home and sing and dance with you again!_

_Have fun with Daddy while I’m gone, I know he’s going to make sure you don’t miss me too much. I can’t wait to see you at the airport when I get home and give you both big cuddles and kisses._

_Love you very much Jacob, see you soon!_

_Love Dad xxxx_

Under the letter, Harry had sketched a little picture of him and Jacob, and Jacob picked up the piece of paper again, staring at it like it was made of gold or something equally as precious. Suddenly, he dissolved into tears, surprising both of the men sat with him. Zayn grabbed the letter from Jacob’s hand before it could get ruined, and Louis just snuggled him into his chest, rubbing his back. The tears had been coming for a few days, his son had been getting more emotional each night he spoke to Harry before bedtime so Louis wasn’t entirely shocked.

“Come on love, Dad didn't want it to upset you, do you want to call him and say thank you?” Jacob shook his head for a minute, using Louis’ jumper as a tissue, Zayn laughing at it. “Okay, we’ll call later. Do you want to go and watch some telly while me and Uncle Z make some tea?” Jacob nodded and Zayn hugged him again, before he sloped off quietly, Louis pulling a few things out of the fridge.

“You coping without loverboy then? Need him to come back home and give you a cuddle?” Zayn teased, chopping some veggies for Louis now, the pair working seamlessly together in Louis’ little kitchen. Louis laughed and flicked on the iPod on the docking station his Mum had given him for Christmas. Music played quietly in the background as he and Zayn prepared the veggie rice for dinner.

“I don’t _need_ him Zayn, I choose to want him around,” Louis said, filling the kettle with water at the sink. “It’s been nearly a year, can you believe it? Who’d have thought when I scrimped and saved to buy those tickets a year ago that it would lead to me falling in love with Harry, and totally changing my life? He’s given me everything I’ve ever wanted, Zayn. I still can’t believe somehow this happened to me.”

“He’s just a man, Lou. A man who fell for you, for what you could offer him. You deserve this, you deserve him and his love. I don’t think I’ve told you but I really am so happy for you. He totally adores you and you deserve someone who looks at you like he does.”

“I wanna marry him Zayn, I want everything with him. I always thought I wouldn’t get married, that I had Jake and the opportunity to meet people was behind me. But now I want it all, a house, marriage, kids even. I know he’s younger than me, maybe he isn’t ready for it but I am, I so am. Fuck, I’m fucking whipped aren’t I?”

“Yep,” Zayn laughed, throwing the diced onions and peppers into the wok on the hob, the sizzle and smell soon filling the small room. “And you love it.”

*****

Harry sighed and lifted his phone screen, sighing when he saw the lateness of the hour on it. There was still four days until he would get to go back home to Louis and Jacob, and by now he was sick of hotel rooms, uncomfortable beds and being lonely. It was now gone 10 o’clock at night and all Harry wanted to do was get upstairs to his room and call Louis for their usual goodnight chat. He tried to listen in as the men in suits around him droned on about the plans for the final few days, mainly things Harry could have done from home if he was honest and again, he tuned out, only coming to when his phone vibrated loudly on the table.

“Um, sorry-” he said, picking it up and smiling when he saw it was a message from Louis. He used the touch id feature on his phone to unlock it silently, taking a sip from the bottle of water next to him but when the message loaded up, Harry swallowed too quickly and choked. His eyes ogled at the screen, and he hurriedly shoved the phone into his lap, desperately hoping no-one had seen the image.

As everyone’s attention went back to the meeting, Harry turned the device over again and pressed a button, filling the screen with that image again. _Fuck_. Harry swallowed, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt at the sight of Louis’ hard dick, his hand wrapped around himself, a simple message underneath.

_See how much I miss you? Come home. Xxx_

Harry decided enough was enough. He pushed back from the table, the feet of his chair squeaking across the floor but he didn't care. He needed to call Louis, and he needed to do it now, before the situation in his trousers got any worse.

“Sorry, I don’t feel too well,” he mumbled, grabbing his bottle of water as he headed out of the room, hurrying to the bank of lifts, jabbing at the button to call them. As he waited he tapped out a quick reply to Louis.

_DO NOT COME. I’m gonna call you in a minute. XXXXXX_

Harry sighed as the doors slid slowly open, pressing the button for the 6th floor, grinding the heel of his left hand down into the bulge in his trousers, mind flooded with that image. Sending dirty pictures wasn’t something they’d done before, or even considered really, but two weeks without sex was taking its toll on both of them, and Harry thought Louis was the best man alive for what he’d sent tonight.

Harry swiped the keycard to gain entry to his room, and kicked his shoes off as he called Louis. The call was quickly rejected, which upset him for all of a second until he realised Louis was calling back, this time with a FaceTime call. Harry nearly dropped the phone in his hurry to answer, and when he did, he felt like his heart skipped a beat. A topless Louis filled the screen, red-cheeked with his lip bitten between his teeth.

“Fucking hell, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Harry rumbled down the line, unable to drag his eyes away from his boyfriend. “Do you have any idea what that picture did to me Lou? I was in a meeting, being all serious and grown up and you send me a dick pic? Fucking hell. You're so fucking hot.”

“You loved it, don’t kid yourself,” Louis said, a bit hoarsely. Harry could sense he was doing something other than just talking, and raised an eyebrow at the screen. “Gonna get naked with me then, Styles?”

Harry hurried to comply, ripping off his clothes and settling on the bed in just his boxers, teasing himself with his fingertips down his length, feeling it twitch under his touch.

“Gonna show me what you’re doing then?” Harry asked, hoping that it would be a continuation of what had been in the picture earlier. He held his breath for a second as Louis panned the camera downwards, and Harry whimpered as he saw Louis’ hand wrapped around himself, stroking slowly, looking hard and ready for action. “Oh my fucking God, Lou. I would give anything to be there right now, want you so bad baby.”

Louis sighed as he continued to stroke himself, not moving the camera. All Harry could see was Louis’ cock and his hand, and he could hear Louis’ breaths as he touched himself, spurring on Harry’s words.

“The things I’d do to you, wanna take you apart Lou, want to kiss you everywhere, fuck you hard and make you scream my name,” he mumbled, slipping his own cock out of his boxers, just as hard as Louis now.

“Fuck yes, want that, want you inside me,” Louis moaned, stroking quicker now. “Missing you too much, haven’t touched myself since you left but I was thinking about you tonight, what you did to me before you left… couldn’t help myself, you turn me on so much-”

Harry panted as he wanked himself off, mesmerised by the sight of Louis doing the same thing in their bed.

“Hey, wanna see you touch yourself, can I see, please let me see-” Louis begged, and Harry nodded, hitting the button to flip to the rear camera, letting his own cock be seen by Louis now. He thumbed over the slit, showing Louis how ready for him he was, twisting at the base, shutting his eyes so he could imagine it was Louis’ hand on him.

“Oh Lou, wanna do so much to you, I’m gonna take you away, just us, a dirty weekend so I can fuck you all night long, need your body, love you so fucking much baby-” He was too close now, and he could tell Louis was too by the way he was wanking himself, driving them both closer to the edge. “You close?”

“Mmmm,” was Louis’ only reply, silence in the room, the only noises the sound of Harry’s hand stroking up his cock and Louis’ heavy breaths down the phone. The dry drag of Harry's hand hurt a little but he couldn't stop now. “Four days, then I’m gonna let you do whatever you want to me-”

“Fuck, Lou, love you, fuck!” Harry cried as he came, trying his best to keep the camera on himself as he spurted out over his hand, stroking himself through his release, his body shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm. Two weeks was too much, he was never doing this again. “Come for me Lou, wanna watch you get yourself off…”  he flipped the camera back to his face, a little shocked by his own red-faced appearance, but he talked Louis quietly through it, feeling himself start to harden again as he watched Louis come over his own fist, moaning his way through his orgasm.

After a few seconds, Louis flipped the camera back and his beautiful face filled the screen, Harry’s heart filling with love at the sight.

“God I love you, Louis Tomlinson,” he chucked out, voice deep and sleepy by now. “I cannot believe we just had sex on FaceTime but I think that might be the hottest thing I’ve ever done. Fucking hell, that picture is staying on my phone as well.”

Louis grinned shyly at him, laying himself down on what Harry thought was his own side of the bed. “Thought you might like that. But let’s hope you don’t get hacked, don’t really want the world seeing my dick.”

“For my eyes only,” said Harry somewhat possessively, the words sending a spark down his spine as he thought of the fact that only he would ever be seeing Louis naked from now on, that they belonged to each other now.

“I really miss you Haz, can’t believe I’ve still got to wait four more days to see you. I really didn't think it would be this hard.”

“Well, it isn’t hard now,” Harry teased with a smirk, and they both laughed. Harry stroked a finger down the phone screen, along Louis’ cheek, wishing he could touch his boy for real. “I love you though, Lou. I miss you both so fucking much. I don’t want to go away without you again, I won’t do it. It’s either all of us or none of us, yeah?”

“All or nothing my darling. I’m gonna let you sleep, not long until I can kiss you goodnight. Love you sweetheart.”

“Love you too, my beautiful Lou. Goodnight, sweet dreams.” It took everything Harry had not to kiss the phone screen in front of him,  a pang of longing for Louis so hard then that it almost brought him to tears. He needed to get home, that much he knew.

*****

“Hang on bub, let me just answer the door and we’ll finish the book in a minute, okay?” Jacob nodded as Louis hopped off his son’s bed and to his feet, thundering down the stairs. He stopped at the front door and opened it, grinning when he saw his best mate on the other side.

“What you doing here, Z? Did we arrange something and I’ve forgotten about it?” Louis said with a furrowed brow. Zayn grinned and shook his head.

“Nah, just wondered if you two wanted to come to the park for a bit, it’s a nice sunny afternoon.” Louis took a quick look at his watch and nodded, deciding that getting Jacob out of the house and wearing him out was probably a good thing.

“Sure, sounds good. Come in while I get the little dude ready.” Zayn stepped inside and let Louis run upstairs to collect Jake, and a few snacks and drinks for the park, ever the prepared father.

Half an hour later, they were sitting on a bench, basking in the sunshine while Jacob was running around the play area with a couple of his friends from school. They were playing some sort of Power Rangers game, using the large wooden boat at the park as their base, and Louis didn't honestly have a clue what was going on. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back, letting the sun warm him, listening to Zayn chat about his date with a mutual friend, Perrie, that night.

“It’ll be fine mate, just don’t keep panicking and stressing about it, yeah?” Louis suggested, glad he didn't have to go through all that first date crap himself anymore. Zayn sighed and ran a hand through his long locks, peering off into the distance. “If it works out with her, great, if not, plenty more fish in the sea,” he mused.

Zayn scoffed at that. “Easy for you to stay, Mr-in-love-and-settled-down,” Zayn teased. “Nah, I’m happy for you Lou, you know I am. Just be nice to find a bit of that for myself, you know?”

“Well hands off Haz, he’s mine,” Louis remarked back, waving at Jake who was screaming at them both from the top of the pirate ship. He watched as his son ran over with two other girls in tow, heading the the large snake slide, patiently waiting their turn at the top. Jacob started bouncing around then, shrieking and Louis wondered what was going on, keeping an eye but getting a little concerned at his son’s actions.

Jacob flew out of the slide a minute later and took off across the park at a rate of knots, so fast Louis didn't really have time to think about what was happening.

“Shit Z, he’s run off, fuck-” Louis stood up and ran off after him, heart thudding in his chest, thinking he was going to really have a go at Jacob later for this, that he knew better. He was running into the sun, blinded somewhat by how bright it was and suddenly Jacob jumped up, diving into someone’s arms, being spun around and around. “No fucking way.”

Louis stopped, not quite believing what he was seeing. He jogged forward a bit more and the person put Jacob down to the floor as Louis ran over and jumped at him himself, landing against him with a thud.

“What the fuck are you doing here? You’re not due home for another 3 days!” Louis grabbed Harry’s face in his hands and kissed him so hard, it actually hurt his lips. He didn't care that Jacob was watching, he was just so overwhelmed that Harry was home, he was there, in front of him. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist, just holding him tightly, never wanting to let go.

“I couldn’t stay away, I missed you both so much. God I love you Lou, and you Jake, I’m so happy I’m home.” Jacob ran back over then and Harry hugged the pair of them, his long arms wrapping easily around his boys. Once the hug was done, Jacob took off back to Zayn, eager to tell him Harry was back.

“Zayn was part of this, wasn’t he?” Louis said suddenly, feet back on the ground as he walked hand in hand with Harry back to the bench. Harry was rubbing his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand and Louis felt content in a way he hadn’t since Harry had left. He felt whole again.

“Yeah, I booked the ticket home after we, um, _spoke_ last night and asked him to get you out here so I could surprise you.” At that declaration, Louis tugged Harry’s hand and pulled them both to a stop, grinning up at his boyfriend.

“You did all that for me?” He pecked his lips softly as he waited for an answer.

“I’d do anything for you,” Harry answered honestly, green eyes boring down into Louis’ blue ones, both shining with happiness. “You’re my home Lou. You’re the only place I ever want to be.”


	19. I Need You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry looks after his boys, they struggle on a day out, and cheer themselves up with house-hunting before Louis and Harry let their hair down on a night out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, manips used in the tweets/instagram posts I use are not my own and belong to their creators and are used by me to enhance the story. Thank you.

Harry cursed under his breath as he shoved the second load of vomit covered sheets in the washing machine, thinking how different his life was today from just a week ago. Last week, he was chilling in plush hotel rooms, having room service delivered and being pretty much waited on hand and foot. Today, though, he was cleaning up sick, showering his son free of vomit while Louis slept his own sickness bug off in their bed. Harry was completely exhausted, but again, even though it wasn’t the nicest thing in the world to be dealing with, there was nowhere he’d rather be. 

The washing machine started its second cycle of the day, and Harry hit the button to start the tumble dryer, hoping the bed linen inside would be dry soon enough as Jacob was on his last change of sheets. Louis, being a grown up, had made it to the bathroom to be sick but Jacob wasn’t so lucky. Harry was pleased he had a strong stomach, having dealt with sick twice already and it was only 7am. He turned and grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge, heading back up to his poorly boys. 

He peered around his bedroom door, pleased to see Louis still asleep under the covers and left him to it, walking back down the hall to Jacob’s room, knocking softly to warn him he was coming in. Jacob was still sniffing, sat in his little pants in the middle of the bed, on top of his duvet. Harry took a seat next to him, setting the water onto his bedside table and let the boy climb in lap, figuring if he was going to get sick it was already too late. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” He asked, stroking Jacob’s hair softly back from his sweaty forehead. The room didn’t smell too bad since Harry had thrown open the windows before he’d taken the soiled bedding downstairs, and the smell of Jacob’s shower gel on his skin was helping. 

“I feel poo,” Jacob said sadly, his voice a bit raw from his sickness. “My tummy feels all whirly and I’ve got a sore throat and I’m super hot like an oven.” Harry tried not to chuckle and just comforted the boy, shuffling back on the bed until his back was against the wall, trying to get comfortable. Jacob snuggled in further, his eyes fluttering shut with exhaustion. 

“Just let me take care of you, okay babe? Daddy’s poorly too, you must have both caught something at school. I’m going to let you both sleep lots today to get better and if Daddy is awake later, you can have a nap with him, how does that sound?” Jacob nodded sleepily at Harry’s suggestion, and Harry kept talking for a while, knowing his voice would eventually lull Jacob to sleep. 

Once the boy was finally asleep, Harry crept out and went downstairs, collapsing on the sofa. He flicked on the TV and rolled his eyes at the selection of breakfast TV programmes. He sat texting Niall and his mum for a while before he realised he had to call the school and tell them neither Louis or Jacob would be in for the next couple of days. He found the number in his contacts, Harry having it in there since things got serious between him and Louis and he was added as another emergency contact for the pair of them, and hit dial. 

It rang a few times until a tinny voice came through the other end. 

“Oh, hello, um, it’s Harry Styles here. I’m just calling to let you know that Louis and Jacob Tomlinson won’t be at school today. They’ve both been up all night with a sickness bug, and I know you have a 48 hour rule with sickness so I’ll be keeping them both home with me today.”

Harry went quiet for a minute as the lady at the end of the phone entered the information onto the school system and wished them both well, saying their teachers would be informed of their absence. 

“That’s great, thank you so much. Bye bye.” Harry hung up the phone and dialled Jay then, knowing she was expecting them after school for a quick visit. “Hi Jay, it’s Harry. Yeah I’m alright thank you, wish I could say the same for Lou and Jake.”

They chatted for a while until Harry heard movement on the floor upstairs so he politely ended the call and darted up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Jacob’s door was open and he was still sound asleep, so Harry knew it was Louis who was on the move. As he tiptoed towards their room, he silently prayed Louis wasn’t being sick again. He pushed the door open slowly, happy to see Louis sat up against the headboard, albeit with a greenish tinge to his skin. 

“Hello my darling, how are you feeling?” Harry said in a soft voice as he sat down next to Louis, taking his hand in his own. Louis groaned and tried to pull his hand away, but Harry held on firmly. “No you don’t, if I’m gonna get sick, I’m gonna get sick. I’ve called work and sorted that out and Jake’s conked out again bless him. He had a pretty rough night. We ended up in the shower twice last night poor kid.”

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry Haz,” Louis said quietly, feeling bad. “This is the side of me and Jake I didn't want you to see, I’m sorry, I can’t believe-”

“Hey, enough of that. You think I’m just here for the fun and games? Come on Lou, you know me better than that. I’m here for it all, okay? For whatever you and Jacob need. The good and the, um, well, the not so good.” They both smiled at each other at that, and Harry leaned over, pressing his lips to Louis’ forehead, kissing him softly. Louis relaxed into the touch, turning and pushing down onto the mattress, curling up against his side, his head on Harry’s chest. 

“I love you, so much. Thank you for taking care of us.”

“Always my darling. Forever and always.”

*****

It had taken a few days for Louis and Jacob to get back to normal, and Harry was more than grateful when they were finally eating normally, Jacob running around the house bored out of his brains since he hadn’t been outside in two days now. Harry had finally ventured out of the house yesterday to the shops, and he was grateful for the fresh air. He knew how much Louis and Jacob were itching to get out of the house, and they’d decided to head to town. Louis had heard through school that there was a petting zoo setting up in the town centre, and he’d intended to take Jacob. He and Harry had decided last night both of them were well enough to go, and had told Jacob over breakfast.

They had parked a little way out of town, knowing it was going to be packed with families, and Jacob walked between them, his hands in Harry’s and Louis’ as they strolled down the street, the early Spring sunshine warming the air somewhat. They could hear the noise of the crowd getting louder as they neared the zoo and waited patiently for their turn to pass by the animals penned in, plenty of fresh water and food out for them as happy children walked by, having photos taken by proud parents, touching the fur of the animals.

As Louis took Jacob closer to the goats, Harry was stopped by a couple of teenage girls, quietly asking for a photo and of course, Harry complied, asking them politely not to post them yet, and to please not take photos of him with Jacob. They agreed and walked away giggling, tapping at their phones. Harry should’ve known from that that the girls hadn’t listened to him but he headed back over to Louis and Jacob, chatting with them as they walked through the zoo together.

It was about half an hour later that Harry got a sense of something being wrong. There were a lot more girls hanging around, on their phones, snapping pictures of Harry and his family, and he was fully aware of it by now, as was Louis. Louis held Jacob’s hand tightly as they silently communicated with each other, both realising they needed to get home soon before it could get any worse. Harry reached across to grab Louis’ hand and marched forwards, head down as he headed in the direction of the car.

“Harry! We love you! HARRY!” the girls screamed, and it only got louder. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest. It had been a long time since this had happened, and it was worse since he didn't have any security around either to help out. Harry let his eyes flit up, alarmed to see a few paparazzi around as well. He knew they lurked about, often snapped pointless photos when he did exciting things like go to Tesco or take Jacob to McDonald’s but this felt more sinister.

Pushing and shoving started, and before Harry could react, there was a cry, and a tug on his hand. His heart stopped as Jacob’s scream filled the air, and he whipped around, feeling sick as he saw the boy on the floor, crying his eyes out. He reacted quickly, scooping him up into his arms, Louis holding onto his belt as Harry marched through the crowd, livid by now. The walk back to their car felt like a million miles, but as they approached, Harry hit the button on his key fob, throwing the back door open and gently putting Jacob into his seat, checking him over as he did so. 

“Oh my god, my darling, are you alright?” he asked quietly, wiping Jacob’s tears away with the sleeve of his shirt. Jacob’s knees were both grazed, rivulets of blood dripping down both shins, and he held out his hands to Harry, showing the grazes there too. Harry could feel his blood boiling, but only calmed slightly when he felt Louis’ hand rest at the base of his spine, a grounding touch he very much needed in that moment. 

“Harry, baby, you need to calm down okay? Jacob’s okay, I’m okay. Please, you’re scaring me love. Come here, come on…” Louis tugged at Harry’s arm until he turned around, wrapping him up in a cuddle. He understood Harry’s anger and frustration, he’d felt entirely overwhelmed and out of control of the situation but he knew the pair of them getting worked up over it wasn’t going to help. “Let’s go home, sort Jacob out and we’ll talk.”

Louis reached into the pocket of Harry’s jeans, taking the keys and pushed Harry towards the passenger door, knowing he was in no fit state to drive. Louis jogged around the car and hopped up behind the wheel, adjusting the seat with a roll of his eyes, knowing his short legs would make Harry smile which luckily, they did. The drive home was silent, broken only by Jacob’s sniffs from the back seat where he was strapped into his car seat hugging Harry’s jumper. 

As they pulled up outside their house, Harry made quick work of unbuckling Jacob and he carried him over to the front door where Louis was stood waiting for them. Harry couldn’t bring himself to smile at Louis as he walked through to the kitchen, sitting Jacob on the edge of the table while he grabbed the first aid kit. 

“Haz, I’ll sort him, go and have a sit down-“

“Louis, please let me do this. I need to take care of him, please?” Louis bit his lip and nodded, feeling sad when he saw the tears brimming in Harry’s eyes, knowing he was already blaming himself. He watched as Harry ran a warm bowl of antiseptic, sitting down on a chair in front of Jacob. He carefully dampened a bit of cotton wool and gently wiped over his grazes, taking such care Louis’ heart ached. 

Harry tended to each of the cuts in turn, drying them softly and applying Jacob’s Avenger plasters to them, kissing them when he was done. He tidied away afterwards and picked the boy up, settling down on the sofa with Jacob in his lap. It must have all been too much for the little boy as he fell asleep, and Louis lifted his sleeping son off Harry, carrying him upstairs and into bed for an hour. 

He walked back into the sitting room, and his heart broke as he looked at Harry who promptly burst into tears, sobbing into his hands, his body wracking with his gulps for air. Louis practically ran over and held Harry as he cried, shushing him and whispering words of love and praise into his ear until his tears subsided. Louis gave him a moment to gather himself, making them both a cup of tea before he returned, determined to get Harry to talk about this. 

“This is all my fault,” he rasped out, voice shaky from all his crying. “I should never have taken a picture with those girls, never put you two in a position to get hurt, I’m so stupid-“

“Well, that’s enough of that,” Louis said, leaning forward and slamming his cup down on the coffee table. “Harry, we’ve been together, what, 10 months now? This has never happened before love. Never. You have looked after us and protected us so well. This was just one of those things.”

Harry went to speak but Louis leaned forwards, pressing his index finger against Harry’s lips, stopping him. It was important he heard what Louis had to say. 

“Let me finish, baby. I heard you ask the girls not to post it until later. You can’t control what people do, and it was unfortunate they ignored you and helped the situation to escalate but I promise you, this was not your fault. I hate seeing Jacob get hurt but honestly love, his injuries are no worse than if he fell over during PE at school. Scrapes and grazes heal, I promise you.”

“But he’s my boy, Lou, I should’ve protected him.” Harry sniffed again then, already feeling the prickle of tears burning at the back of his eyes. Louis’ heart swelled as Harry referred to Jacob as his boy but he brushed that to the side for the moment, focusing instead on the more important issue. 

“Harry, you did. You scooped him up off the floor, you reacted quicker than I did. You brought us home, you took care of him. You did everything you could have done. Please believe when I say I trust you implicitly with our child. If, god forbid, something were ever to happen to me, I know you would look after him and raise him brilliantly, there’s no one I would trust more to do that job. You’re an amazing father Harry, more so because you’ve only been doing this a year. I’ve been doing it nearly 7 years and I still suck half the time.”

Harry let out a slight laugh at that, letting Louis’ words sink in, the weight of them setting heavily in his mind. “Louis, did you mean that? About me raising Jacob if you weren’t around?”

“More than anything. I love you, Harry. You need to stop blaming yourself sweetheart because this was just one of those things, I promise you. He’ll be fine, and I’m sure he’ll milk it for it’s worth, using sore knees to get out of tidying up or reading or, well, blinking probably.” They were both laughing now and Louis shuffled over, sitting himself across Harry’s thigh, legs stretched out over the sofa. 

“Thank you, Lou. I just, I felt so scared that happened. I’m gonna talk to my security guys, make sure someone’s around if we’re out. I’m not ever risking that again. Is that okay with you? I mean, I don’t want to affect our life just because I’m famous or whatever but you and Jake, you’re my number one priority and I’ll do whatever I need to keep you safe. I love you, Louis.”

“And I love you,” Louis said, kissing Harry’s lips softly. He stood up then, clearing the mugs away and he returned to Harry tapping fiercely away at his phone. He didn’t interrupt and Harry passed his device over to Louis when he was done, letting him read. 

  
  


“God I’m so fucking proud of you,” Louis whispered as Harry stood up and hugged him from behind, kissing at his neck. “I think you’ve said that well. Even if it just makes one fan think, it’s worth it.”

“Can I go wake Jacob up?” Harry asked, biting his lip. “I need to make sure he’s okay.” Louis nodded and Harry sprinted up the stairs, Louis listening in as Harry chatted softly with him. He could hear Harry promising to always protect him, that he would keep him safe and Louis knew Harry would do everything in his power to keep to his word. 

*****

A week later and things were back to normal. The Easter holidays were fast approaching and while Harry had plans, Louis was blissfully unaware of them and continued go about his normal day to day activities.  They were no closer with the house hunt yet, everything that they saw just wasn’t quite right in some way, and Louis wasn’t prepared to let Harry drop a ridiculous amount of money on somewhere that didn’t feel like it could be their home. 

Louis was watching TV one evening, frowning when he looked at the clock to see it was an hour after the time Harry had said he’d be home. He wasn’t worried, he knew Harry was probably just caught up in his meeting but it had been a while since he’d spent an evening alone, and he wasn’t sure he liked it. He missed Harry humming away at one end of the sofa, annoying the shit out of him as he cracked his pistachio nuts into a bowl or munched loudly on his pretzels. 

Louis reached across and grabbed the journal he’d been writing in for a few weeks. He wasn’t usually a man of many words but lately he’d dabbled in jotting down some poems, lyrics almost that had come to mind. Most of them were about Harry, soppy little love letters of sorts he’d probably die if Harry ever read, but he found it quite therapeutic to put his thoughts down on paper, how he really felt about Harry and his hopes and dreams for the future. 

He paused as he heard the front door swing open and he smiled up at Harry as he bustled in, throwing his coat onto the banister, quietly putting his keys into the bowl alongside Louis’ own. It was little domestic things like this that Louis loved. He shoved his journal under the sofa, not wanting it to be discovered just yet. He knew Harry wouldn’t pry, would never dream of invading Louis’ privacy like that but still, Louis wasn’t ready to even share the idea he was writing with someone as talented with words as his boyfriend.

“Hello gorgeous, sorry I’m late,” Harry said, bending over to kiss Louis over the back of the sofa. They kissed for a minute until Harry pulled away, coming back a few minutes later with two mugs of tea in his hands, settling close to Louis on the sofa. They kissed again for a moment, and Harry handed over some paperwork, Louis quickly flicking through it. It was a printout of a house and somehow, it looked perfect. “Mum called and said she’d seen this, I swung by and grabbed this from her before I came home,” Harry explained, Louis nodding along.

“Can we go and see it, love?” Louis asked quietly. “It looks amazing, exactly the sort of place I can imagine us getting together.” He looked over to Harry to see a huge smile on his boyfriend’s face, dimple popping happily in his cheek. “What?” Louis said through a laugh.

“Nothing,” Harry said a shrug, pulling Louis closer to himself. “Just, I can’t believe we’re here sometimes. Like, looking for a house and stuff. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of, falling in love and buying a home with my forever person.”

“Your forever person?” Louis questioned, looking up at Harry with a little frown.

“Yeah, my forever person. That’s you, the one where it all begins and ends for me.”

“You soppy git,” Louis smiled back, kissing Harry lightly. “I’m tired, bed?” Harry nodded and held out a hand, pulling Louis up from the sofa, hugging him gently as he got to his feet. Louis closed his eyes and rested his head on Harry’s solid chest, enjoying the feel of being wrapped up in Harry’s embrace. “Love you Haz. You’re my forever too, you and Jake.”

“I know,” Harry said in a way that wasn’t at all cocky, instead just certain and sure of Louis’ words. “I’ve always known.”

*****

A few days later, Harry and Louis had dropped Jacob off at Anne’s while they went to view the house. Jacob was so excited for them to buy a new house they knew he would be overkeen at every house they saw, so Harry and Louis had decided they’d do the viewings by themselves until they found the house they knew would be their home. As Harry parked his Audi outside on the road, they both peered across at the property they were seeing today. Louis lit up at the sight of it. It was a detached house, modern looking yet not cold, and the driveway leading up to the door was big enough for their two cars without being too ostentatious. Louis wanted somewhere homely, big enough for the three of them but without looking over the top and expensive.

“I like it,” he said decisively to Harry, who was nodding too. “I mean, I need to see the inside first but this is the first one I’ve seen that I really like. Your mum’s got good taste.”

“Well, she did give birth to me,” Harry joked, prompting Louis to nudge him with his elbow until they noticed a car pulling up opposite them. “Ah, this must be the estate agent, Andrew, I think his name was.” They exited their car and Louis stepped over first, shaking the man’s hand.

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Andrew. Let me take you inside. I’ll tell you a little bit about the property then you’re free to wander around yourselves. I’ll stay downstairs if you have any questions. Does that sound okay?”

“Perfect,” Harry said, taking Louis’ hand in his own as they walked in. He had seen a flicker of recognition in Andrew’s eyes when they’d met but he appreciated his professionalism, the way he treated himself and Louis like they were any another couple viewing a house. Harry’s eyes raked around the entrance hall, already pleased with what he could see. He and Louis listened carefully as Andrew gave them information about the house, the less exciting side of things but still, it was important and they behaved like grown ups for a few minutes.

“Okay, well feel free to explore the house a bit, I’ll stay here in the kitchen if you need me.” Andrew smiled as he watched Louis slip his hand into Harry’s as they walked off, heading upstairs. They climbed the staircase together, looking at how it led off in two directions when they reached the top. Harry pulled Louis with him to the right, and they wandered into the first bedroom they saw. Louis could immediately picture this as Jacob’s room. It was big, but not too huge, and had lovely ceiling windows, flooding the room in natural light.

The next room was huge too, and Harry was sure this would be his and Louis’ bedroom, telling his boyfriend so, pleased when Louis nodded. There was even a small ensuite bathroom which would make things easier for them when it came to sex and cleaning up afterwards, a comment from Harry which had Louis blushing to the tips of his ears. The final room along here was a small one, one Louis could picture Harry using as his office.

They headed out and went to the other end, finding a large bathroom complete with huge walk-in shower, a large white bathtub and two sinks along one wall. Louis’ bathroom seemed even smaller in comparison, and it was things like this space which were making Louis fall even more in love with the house. They pushed open the next door, and Louis halted for a moment. The walls were painted a soft pink, a crib set up along one wall, changing table near it. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and chanced a look over at Harry, who looked similarly affected.

“Um,” Louis began, not sure what to say. “It’s a lovely room. Would be nice to have some spare rooms, um, yeah…” he trailed off, almost too scared to entertain the frightening thoughts that had entered his head upon stepping in and seeing this room. Harry must have sensed his hesitation before he stepped in front of Louis, circling his arms around his waist, looking down at him with such love, Louis felt it take his breath away for a second.

“I think I know what you’re thinking, Lou. And if it’s the same as what I’m thinking, which I think it is, then I just need you to know I want that too. Whenever you’re ready. But I want it. With you.” Somehow Louis understood exactly what Harry meant by his cryptic messages and he smiled, letting Harry kiss him softly for a moment, oddly not scared by how quickly things were falling into place for them. 

Another hour later and they were ready to leave. The garden had been perfect, with a gorgeous patio area Louis could imagine sitting at while they entertained their friends and family, Jacob and his aunts and uncles running around the grass, playing football or whatever. The kitchen had had Harry grinning, excited by the large airy space, and the sitting room was perfect for two or three huge, squashy sofas, something Louis had always dreamed of having. They said goodbye to Andrew, promising to be in contact later as they stood outside the property.

“I want it,” Louis said quietly, glancing back at the house. “That’s our home Harry. It’s the first one I’ve imagined us living together in, raising Jacob in. Do you-”

“Yes, I love it. I feel the same Lou. Shit, we really want this?” Louis nodded and all of a sudden Harry took off down the street, Louis running after him, totally confused as Harry came to a stop alongside Andrew’s car. He tapped on the window and the man stepped out, a little concerned at the panting men.

“Harry, is everything okay?” he asked, eyes flitting between the two.

“Yeah, more than,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hand. “The house. We’ll take it. Please. It’s our home, whatever it takes, we want that house.” Andrew grinned and nodded, having had a feeling that Louis and Harry had totally fallen in love with the house as they’d walked around. He discussed a few things with them before leaving, promising to arrange an appointment tomorrow so they could sort out the paperwork side of things. 

“Oh my god, we’ve just bought a house,” Louis said, a little stunned. 

“No, we didn't,” Harry said, holding Louis’ hand between their bodies. “We didn't buy a house, Lou. We bought our home.”

*****

Harry and Louis spent the next few days arranging all manner of finances, paperwork and solicitors to sort out buying their dream home. When it seemed like things were moving in a positive direction and the property would be theirs, they’d taken Jacob and their parents over to see the place at the weekend, everyone loving it. Jacob had run around, exploring each and every room, bagsying the bedroom Louis had known he would when he first saw it, Louis and Harry laughing as they agreed, listening to Jacob talk about how he wanted things set up. They weren’t sure Jacob understood they wouldn’t be moving in that day, but still, his excitement was infectious and they all left with big smiles on their faces, all too keen to get the ball rolling and get the keys.

To let them celebrate, Anne had offered to have Jacob overnight so Harry and Louis could go out and enjoy themselves. They arranged to meet Zayn and Liam at a local pub they sometimes went along to, excited for their night out. They usually preferred staying in, watching a movie and sharing a bottle of wine but for some reason, Louis was keen to get drunk and flaunt his boyfriend a bit, something Harry wasn’t about to deny him. 

Louis strutted into the living room about thirty minutes after Harry had gotten out of the shower, far too involved in the episode of The Chase playing on the television to notice Louis’ entrance, much to his amusement. He cleared his throat and watched as Harry’s gaze flittered over to him before he did a double take, his eyes taking up and down Louis’ body. 

“Shit, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said, standing up and coming to a stop in front of Louis, bare feet either side of Louis’ shoe clad ones. His hands slid inside the blazer Louis was wearing, coming to rest at his hips on top of the dark black cotton of his shirt. “I’m gonna be the luckiest man out there tonight.”

“Yeah, alright then,” Louis chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “Get dressed love, wanna get out there and show you off. Oh, and get pissed.” Harry threw his head back in laughter at that and ran upstairs, coming down ten minutes later, hair coiffed, freshly shaven and looking positively indecent in a silk blouse open halfway down his torso. Louis stepped over and did up one more button. 

“Excuse me Styles but save something for my eyes only, yeah?” He let out a squeal as Harry grabbed his hand and set it on his bulge, already half hard by how possessive Louis was acting and they hadn’t been left their house yet. 

“Oh baby, this is all for you,” He said with a smirk and dragged Louis in the direction of the door and out to the cab, whizzing them off to their night on the town. 

*****

Louis was pleasantly drunk. He was sat around a big table surrounded by his mates and he felt happy. He could feel the buzz of the alcohol flowing through his veins, giving him a confidence he didn’t usually have in public, and he’d spent most of the night perched on Harry’s lap, kissing him, touching perhaps a tad too much for their public setting but he honestly didn’t care. 

Their friends had teased them mercilessly for a while until they realised nothing was going to stop the pair of them, and they left them to it. Harry tried to dip in and out of conversation until Louis pulled him back for another kiss he couldn’t refuse. He’d had a fair bit to drink as well, enjoying seeing Louis so relaxed and letting go for a while. His mum had text them a while ago, a photo of Jacob sound asleep curled up on Robin’s lap and he felt a sense of contentment for his life run through him. 

They’d been listening to some karaoke singers for the past hour or so, and Louis had enjoyed dragging each one of them to Harry, whispering his own critique into Harry’s ear, making sure no one else would hear his less than kind words. Louis drained his third pint of the night and frowned as he looked around for Harry, pouting when he saw no sign of his boyfriend. 

“Hey Z, where’s Haz?” He called across the table and Zayn shrugged in reply, annoyed to have been dragged out of the conversation he was having with Stan and Liam. 

“You’re the one whose attached at the hip with him, how the fuck should I know?” He shouted back and Louis stood up, craning his head to look around the pub. 

“Stanley. Help me find my lover,” Louis mumbled as he got to his feet, standing near the group with his arms folded across his chest. The opening beats of a new song rang out in the pub then and a weird silence fell over the place. Louis didn’t pay much attention to it, getting his phone out ready to text Harry to see if he’d fucked off. He half recognised the song, it sounded like one his favourites, ‘Need You Tonight’ by INXS. 

_ I need you tonight _ __  
_ 'Cause I'm not sleeping _ __  
_ There's something about you boy _ _  
_ _ That makes me sweat_

“Um, Lou…” Liam said with an odd expression on his face, hand raising as he pointed at the stage. Louis swung around to see what Liam was looking at and his jaw practically fell to the floor. Harry was up on the stage, shirt practically open as he sang throatily into the microphone, almost grinding on it. His eyes were shut and Louis thought he’d never looked sexier. 

_ So slide over here _ __  
_ And give me a moment _ __  
_ Your moves are so raw _ __  
_ I've got to let you know _ __  
_ I've got to let you know _ _  
_ _ You're one of my kind_

Zayn pulled Louis down onto a free stool next to him, everyone staring at Harry silently, enraptured by the pop star taking over their karaoke night. Harry’s eyes flickered open and he locked eyes with Louis as he sang the words out, everyone around sensing the sexual tension between them. Louis’ skin felt like it was on fire as Harry’s gaze raked over him, and he swallowed heavily, feeling more turned on now than he thought he’d ever felt in his life. Harry looked like some sort of sex god up there, and he was all Louis’. 

_ I need you tonight _ __  
_ 'Cause I'm not sleeping _ __  
_ There's something about you boy _ _  
_ _ That makes me sweat_

No one missed the switch of pronouns Harry easily used, Harry’s smirk as he sang the word ‘boy’ making his intentions more than clear. Harry was now swaying his hips in such a sexual manner that Louis couldn’t help but let his eyes drift down to watch, his belt wrapped enticingly around his slim hips, the metal buckle glinting under the hot lights above him. One of his hands was wrapped around the microphone as he sang, the other clutching at the microphone stand, moving up and down ever so slightly in a way that was making Louis’ dick twitch in his too-tight jeans. 

Louis could feel the eyes of the room on him now, Harry not breaking their gaze at all as he sang directly to Louis, every word meant for the man in front of him, heart thudding in his chest as he let the words sink in. Harry could have chosen to sing Louis a love song, one of his own even, but no. He’d chosen an overtly sexual song, one that made it clear to each and every person in that room how much he wanted Louis, wanted to devour him and wreck him.

Harry leaned over the microphone as the song moved into its last verse. There was a slight sheen of sweat glistening on the exposed skin of his chest, and it was all Louis could do not to get up and run his tongue along it, taste his Harry. Louis bit his lip hard, wriggling around on his stool, trying to conceal the erection that was threatening to tent his trousers. He almost moaned at the feel of his cock brushing up against the seam of his zip, and he knew Harry wouldn’t have missed the movement.  Harry licked his lips in an obscene manner as he rasped out the last words.

_ So slide over here _ __  
_ And give me a moment _ __  
_ I've got to let you know _ _  
_ _ I've got to let you know_

For the final line, the music stopped and Harry pointed directly at Louis, singing softly.

_ You're one of my kind _

He winked at Louis as he finished and the pub exploded with cheers and applause, Zayn and Liam leaning over to slap Louis on the back, bringing him back down to earth.

“Get in!” Liam called, making everyone around their table laugh, and Zayn pushed Louis up off his stool, towards the stage. Louis didn't take his eyes off Harry as he stumbled towards the stage, Harry putting his hands together and bowed slightly, thanking the audience as he always did. He caught sight of Louis and made his way down from the small stage, stopping in front of Louis.

“Hi,” Harry breathed out, as close to Louis as he could get. Louis swallowed heavily and reached down, grabbing Harry’s hand, high off the adrenaline of what he’d just seen and complete and utter horniness. Harry pushed their fingers together and allowed Louis to drag him across the floor, eyes on his feet, knowing everyone was watching what they were doing. He looked up, surprised to see they were heading in the directions of the toilets and watched as Louis slammed open the door, pushing Harry in front of him into a cubicle.

Harry was a bit startled at the way Louis was taking control of him, and he felt his back hit the door with an audible thud as Louis crowded up against him, licking a stripe down the side of his neck. 

“What the fuck did you think you were doing up there?” Louis said in a low voice Harry didn't think he had heard before. “It was  _ obscene _ , Harry. You might as well have been naked up there, grinding on that damn microphone stand.” He reached his hand down, grabbing at Harry’s hard cock, groaning when he felt how turned on his boyfriend was. “Everyone in that room was watching you, was watching you look at me and sing those words.”

“I meant them,” Harry whispered, his deep voice impossibly deeper and with an added rasp that made Louis shiver, arching his neck to the side as Louis continued to suck on the skin there, sure a dark red bruise would be obvious the minute they left this cubicle. He pushed his own hand forward, cupping Louis’ erection and squeezed lightly, enjoying the groan it pulled from Louis.

“You drive me insane, you know that?” Louis said, capturing Harry’s red lips between his own, sucking and biting lightly as they pressed their hands against each other’s crotches, grinding forwards into the touch. “And now I’m gonna show you how much I enjoyed it.”

Harry bit back a gasp as Louis dropped to his knees on the slightly dirty tiled floor, hands grabbing at Harry’s belt, undoing it in record time as he glanced up at Harry through his eyelashes. Harry let his hands rest on Louis’ head, guiding them through the strands of his hair as Louis worked the zipper of his jeans down, the sound of the metal teeth separating louder than ever between them, the tension palpable.

“For fuck’s sakes Harry, no boxers?” Louis groaned as he pushed the jeans down Harry’s thighs, his cock popping free, tantaslising close to Louis’ lips. “So fucking filthy. I love it.” Louis reached forwards and wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock, Harry shoving his own hand over his mouth in a desperate attempt to keep quiet. The wet warmth around his cock felt so good and he shut his eyes for a minute, enjoying the sensation of Louis sucking his dick deep down.

“Oh my god, Louis, fuck-” he mumbled as Louis eagerly hollowed his cheeks, running his tongue around the tip of Harry’s cock, hands grasping at his thighs. His head bobbed slowly before he started to speed up again, popping up when Harry let out a moan that was too loud to disguise what it was they were doing. 

“Harry, shut up,” Louis rasped out as he ran a fingertip up the vein on the underside of Harry’s cock before dipping down between his legs, running them over his balls making Harry whimper. “You want everyone to know I’m sucking your dick?”

“Wouldn’t mind, pretty obvious what we’re doing anyway,” Harry retorted, using the hands in Louis’ hair to guide him back to where he wanted him, watching as his lips parted and his cock disappeared between them. It didn't take long for Harry to get close to the edge, Louis employing every tactic he knew Harry loved, and right at the end, he pressed forwards further until Harry felt the tip of his cock nudge the back of Louis’ throat.

“Oh fuck, Louis!” he shouted, coming hard into Louis’ mouth, holding his head in place as Louis swallowed his come down, popping off and licking his lips when Harry was done. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Harry’s softening cock and stood up, pulling Harry’s hand down to brush over his own cock, breath hitching as Harry pulled his hand free of Louis’ grip, fumbling with the buttons of Louis’ jeans, shucking them down until he could take hold of his cock, stroking firmly and quickly, bringing Louis to a sudden orgasm. Louis pulled Harry into a kiss as he came, trying to silence himself as his orgasm wracked his body, spilling over Harry’s hand.

“Fucking hell Harry, fuck-” Louis mumbled as Harry kissed him again before they tucked their cocks away, trying to make themselves look somewhat decent. Harry grabbed some toilet paper to wipe his hand off, grinning at Louis as he did so. 

“Do I get more of that when we move into our new house?” Harry asked with a smirk, winking as Louis as he unlocked the door and stepped out, standing in front of the mirror to fix his hair, cringing slightly at the two dark purple love bites on his neck, knowing there was no way he could hide them. He was just pleased that the toilets were mercifully empty since neither he or Louis had been particularly discrete.

Louis pecked his lips once more before he grabbed Harry’s hand, the pair walking back to their table together, knowing Zayn, Liam and Stan were eyeballing them as they took their seats, still keeping their hands linked. 

“Have fun, did we?” Zayn teased, raising his eyebrows at their debauched appearance. They just smiled and reached for their newly replenished drinks on the table, Louis’ a pint and Harry’s a fruity cocktail. Harry reached a hand up and rubbed the love bite subconsciously, enjoying the slight sting of raw skin, not thinking it was just going to draw attention to it and only stopped when Liam cheered softly.

“Oh! That kind of fun, was it?” He laughed, Stan joining in and Harry blushed high on his cheeks, hoping no-one else in the pub was listening in. It was embarrassing enough their friends knowing what he and Louis had been up to in the bathroom, let alone strangers who could plaster it all over the internet.

“Alright, shut your gob Payno, want the world to know about mine and Harry’s sex life?” Liam held up his hands in surrender and smiled, Harry returning it to let him know all was okay. “By the way, Haz?” Louis said, leaning over so he could whisper in Harry’s ear, out of earshot of everyone else. “There’s plenty more where that came from when we get home.”

Harry could do nothing but throw his head back and groan deeply at the thought.


	20. On Top Of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Jacob to go watch Harry on TV, and Jacob celebrates his birthday with his Dad! Finally, Harry and Louis try to have a grown-up talk but get distracted...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pictures used in tweets do not belong to me and are used to enhance the story!

“Jacob, you need to be quiet,” Louis reminded him gently, crouching down his son’s level. “If you don’t whisper when we talk, we’ll have to go outside and not watch Dad, okay?” Jacob looked sorry and nodded, slipping his little hand into Louis’.

“Sorry Daddy, I’m just too excited to watch Dad,” he said with a small smile, and Louis slipped a hand around his waist, nodding. “This is the best day ever, coming to see Dad on the TV and tomorrow is my birthday and I’m going to be a big boy cos I’m gonna be 7!” His grin stretched across his face, and Louis wished he could bottle that level of joy and share it with the world, it was just infectious.

“I know sweetheart, and we’ve got your party too, lots to look forward to. Oh, here he comes, look!” Louis pointed over to where Harry was emerging from the building, decked out in a fitted black shirt and bright yellow trousers Louis knew he was going to rip the piss out of him for later on. Harry grinned and waved as he caught sight of his boys, and defied security by sidestepping the rail, coming to kiss Louis and Jacob quickly, whispering something to Jacob before he was whisked off again.

 

Louis and Harry had spent weeks deciding on which song should be the next single. In fact, Harry’s management were getting more than slightly pissed Harry was putting more stock into Louis’ opinions, and he’d over-ridden them all in choosing _Ready to Run_ as his second single. Louis could see Harry nervously fiddling with his rings as he waited for his cue, his band lined up behind now with their instruments. Louis was pleased Harry surrounded himself with such genuinely nice people, and he was looking forward to seeing them after the show. The presenter came on in a pretty summer dress then and introduced Harry, cameras floating all around as the crowd went wild, Jacob cheering particularly loudly, shouting “that’s my dad, that is!” to anyone who would listen. Harry obviously heard as he turned and blew a kiss as the music started and Harry began to sing.

 _“There's a lightning in your eyes I can't deny_  
_Then there's me inside a sinking boat, running out of time_  
_Without you I'll never make it out alive_ _  
_ _But I know, yes I know we'll be alright_

 _There's a devil in your smile that's chasing me_  
_And every time I turn around it's only gaining speed_  
_There's a moment when you finally realize_  
_There's no way you can change the rolling tide_  
_  
_ _But I know, yes I know that I'll be fine_

 _This time I'm ready to run_  
_Escape from the city and follow the sun_  
_'Cause I wanna be yours_  
_'Cause you wanna be mine_  
_I don't wanna get lost in the dark of the night_  
_This time I'm ready to run_  
_Wherever you are is the place I belong_  
_'Cause I wanna be free_  
_And I wanna be young_  
_I'll never look back now I'm ready to run_ _  
_ _I'm ready to run_

 _There's a future in my life I can't foresee_  
_Unless of course I stay on course_  
_And keep you next to me_  
  
_There will always be the kind that criticize_ _  
_ _But I know, yes I know we'll be alright_

 _This time I'm ready to run_  
_Escape from the city and follow the sun_  
_'Cause I wanna be yours_  
_'Cause you wanna be mine_  
_I don't wanna get lost in the dark of the night_  
_This time I'm ready to run_  
_Wherever you are is the place I belong_  
_'Cause I wanna be free_  
_And I wanna be young_ _  
_ _I'll never look back now I'm ready to run_

 _This time I'm ready to run_ _  
_ _I'll give everything that I got for your love_

 _This time I'm ready to run_  
_Escape from the city and follow the sun_  
_'Cause I wanna be yours_  
_'Cause you wanna be mine_  
_I don't wanna get lost in the dark of the night_  
_This time I'm ready to run_  
_Wherever you are is the place I belong_  
_'Cause I wanna be free_  
_And I wanna be young_ _  
_ _I'll never look back now I'm ready to run.”_

As he sang the last lines, he looked directly over to Louis, smiling into his microphone before his eyes darted back to the cameraman right in front of him, pulling away and thanking the fans as they cheered enthusiastically. The presenter did her bit to camera and finally, they headed inside, Louis and Jacob being taken in by security, able to watch from inside the studio. Jacob was rather proud of his “Access All Areas” lanyard hung around his neck, waving it around in front of every security guards face, often drawing chuckles out of the burly men, Louis apologising and trailing behind him.

Harry was now seated on the sofa, the presenters doing a small piece to camera, playing a video montage about Harry before his interview began. The studio was silent, red lights on the walls indicating they were live, and Louis felt a little nervous for his boyfriend, who he had to admit looked rather handsome. As much as he loved Harry slobbing around the house in his t-shirts and skinny jeans, there was something about seeing him dressed him in his designer clothes like this that just did it for Louis.

“Welcome to The One Show, Harry Styles,” Alex, the presenter said in her soft Welsh lilt, Harry smiling across at her. “So earlier on, you performed your new song _Ready to Run_ for us, which is out next week, is that right?”

“Certainly is,” Harry said, nodding along. “It took me a while to decide on the next single but this one felt right to me, and it’s a important song for me. I hope everybody liked it.”

“We certainly did,” Matt, the other presenter agreed. “Is it safe to assume this one, like your previous song _Strong_ is about your boyfriend Louis?” Harry blushed and nodded as a photo they’d lifted of the pair from Instagram was displayed on the screen behind them, Harry looking fondly at it.

“Um, yeah, that’d be right,” Harry said. “Most of the album’s about him, sorry about that.” The presenters laughed and reassured Harry there was nothing to be sorry about, that it was great from start to finish. They chatted for a while about his writing process, whether he was going to tour the album before they were given the signal that they had two minutes left. Suddenly, the interview was thrown in a new direction, one Louis hadn’t anticipated.

“You’ve got some special guests in the studio with you today, haven’t you?” Alex said, pointing at Louis and Jacob who smiled nervously as one of the cameras panned to them, Jacob suddenly getting shy and burying his head in Louis’ tummy, making Harry laugh softly. “Are they your biggest supporters, Harry?”

“Yeah, they’re the best supporters I could ask for, although I probably should mention my mum as well because she’d kill me if I didn't,” and everyone in the studio laughed at that. “But seriously, Louis and Jacob never fail to support everything I do, even if it means I have to leave them at home while I go out on promo. But they make my life so much better, so, um, yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders and Alex reached across, squeezing his knee.

“We hear it’s someone’s special birthday tomorrow as well,” Matt continued, Jacob perking up when he realised they were talking about his impending 7th birthday the following day. “Got any special plans, Harry?”

Harry looked over to Louis, getting the okay to discuss their son. “Just a party with some of Jacob’s school friends. This is a bit of treat, coming out here today, so tomorrow it’s more fun, and then cake with the families. He’s just excited to be here for the moment though.”

“Does he want to come over and say hi?” Alex asked carefully, and again, Harry directed the question to Louis. Louis bent down and spoke to Jacob quickly, knowing he wouldn’t push Jacob either way, this had to be his decision.

“Want to go sit with Dad for a minute?” he asked and Jacob nodded shyly. Louis gave Harry a thumbs up and Harry held out his arms, Jacob running across the studio and flying into them. Harry sat him on his lap, arms around his waist, whispering something into Jacob’s ear. Jacob smiled and turned to face Alex and Matt. Louis stood proudly watching, his heart melting at the interaction between the pair, knowing they were probably breaking hearts up and down the country.

“Hi Jacob, we hear you’ve got a special day tomorrow,” Alex asked with a grin, and Jacob nodded, holding onto one of Harry’s hands now.

“Yeah, it’s my birthday and I’m gonna be 7.”

“Wow, that’s super grown up, isn’t it?” Matt asked, getting another nod from Jacob. “Did you like seeing Harry perform his new song?”

“He’s Dad, not Harry,” Jacob corrected much to Harry’s amusement, leaning forward to kiss the boy’s head as he carried on talking, more confident now. “I love _Ready to Run_. I got Dad’s new album before anyone and I played it in my bedroom every day til I knowed all the words. Dad says I’m his biggest fan.” He had a proud smile on his face then and everyone cooed at the cuteness of the pair.

“We’re sure you are,” Alex said, needing to wrap up the interview. “Well, thank you for coming to talk to us Jacob, I know a lot of people have been keen to meet you since your Dad has been posting so much about you on his Twitter account! Good luck with the new song Harry, _Ready to Run_ is out next week on iTunes. Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles, and his son Jacob!” People in the studio clapped, and Jacob waved at the camera pointed at him and Harry.

“Bye!” He called loudly, turning and pressing a kiss to Harry’s cheek. Harry got up then, picking Jacob up and setting him on his hip as he thanked the presenters for the interview, making his way back across the studio to Louis who was furiously texting his mum, unable to believe her grandson was on national television.

 

 

“Hey beautiful,” Harry said, leaning in to kiss Louis softly, keeping it perfectly chaste for their public surroundings. “How was that then?”

“Um, only the cutest thing I think I’ve ever seen?” Louis said with a grin, taking Jacob who was leaning over to him now, his little legs quickly wrapping around Louis’ waist. “Cor blimey boy, you’re getting a bit big for me to lug you around now!”

“Hey! He will never be too big for his dad,” Harry said, ruffling Jacob’s hair as they headed back to Harry’s small dressing room so he could get changed. “I’m knackered. Long old day when we have to do all the rehearsals and stuff as well. Thanks for driving down after work Lou, always means so much to me when you two are here.”

“Anything for your boy, huh Jake?” Louis said, and closed the door to the room behind him. Harry started stripping off, throwing his clothes onto the sofa next to Louis while Jacob sat on Louis’ phone, playing on one of his apps. Harry yanked on the t-shirt of Louis’ he’d had on that morning, followed by his skinny jeans. “There he is, my Hazza is back, not tht yellow-trousered mysterious person on the telly.”

“Heyyyyyyy,” Harry said with a wounded look. “I happen to like those trousers, Tomlinson. They’re Gucci, you know.”

“Well, my top is Superdry’s finest but you don’t see me boasting, do ya?” Louis teased back. “Nah, you looked gorge babe, they’re just a bit, erm, loud?”

“Inspired by you, then,” Harry bit back, making Louis throw his head back in laughter. Harry packed up his bags, wiping the stage make-up off with a face wipe, throwing it in the bin in the corner of the room before they started to head out. “Lou, don’t we have something to do tomorrow? I just can’t for the life of me remember what…”

Louis turned to him with a puzzled expression, trying hard not to laugh at the shocked expression on Jacob’s face. “I dunno Haz, I was sure we had something important to do but maybe not…”

By now, Jacob was going mad, jumping up and down in front of his parents, the pair struggling to keep a straight face.

“ME! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I’M GONNA BE 7 YOU CAN’T FORGET IT!”

“Oh, that’s what it is! Silly us!” Harry said with a big smile and bent down, letting Jacob climb onto him for a piggyback ride. Louis took Harry’s holdall from his hand, and slipped his own hand in instead. “Come on family, let’s go home.”

*****

“Can I go and wake him up, Lou?” Harry whispered to Louis, snuggled against his body in their bed, their fingers laced together and resting on Louis’ stomach. Louis smiled softly into the gentle morning light. He wasn’t sure who was more excited about Jacob’s birthday - the birthday boy himself or Harry. He nodded and pecked Harry’s lips, grinning as he tumbled out of bed, pulling a t-shirt over his bare torso before he made his way to the door, stopping to turn and look at Louis.

“Thank you babe. Love you, so much.”

“I love you too. Now go get the birthday boy and we’ll get this show on the road,” Louis said, sitting up to wake himself a bit, and Harry smiled, disappearing through as he padded quietly down the corridor. Honestly, he was surprised Jacob hadn’t burst in on them at some ridiculous hour like he had at Christmas, and Harry and Louis had purposely held back from doing anything sexual that morning just in case he did.

He pushed Jacob’s door open, laughing at how he was splayed out on the bed, his cuddly spiderman teddy on top of his face, snoring away. Harry picked up the teddy and perched him on the edge of the mattress, stroking the little boy’s bare arm. He looked like such an angel when he slept, so much like Louis it hit Harry hard sometimes. In moments like this, he couldn’t help but wonder what Jacob would have looked like as a baby, a toddler, how amazing Louis must have looked with a baby in his arms.

Jacob started to stir, rubbing his little face on the pillow, eyes cracking open slowly but surely. He gasped and threw himself into Harry’s arms, clambering onto his lap, Harry hugging him tightly, feeling so lucky he got to be part of moments like this. He was so grateful Louis and Jacob had accepted him so easily into their little family unit, and he hoped they both knew he never took their love for granted, not ever.

“It’s my birthday Dad! I’m 7 now, your big boy!”

“You definitely are my big boy, and you really are 7! What an amazing day… happy birthday my darling.” Jacob gave him a quick kiss and scrabbled to get down, darting out of the door, Harry following behind with a smile, knowing exactly where he was heading. He went into his and Louis’ room, heart full when he saw Louis with arms full of their son, muttering happy birthday wishes to him softly. Harry stepped over to their wardrobe and took out the little gift bag of presents and cards he and Louis had gotten and walked over, opening the curtains and flooding the room in sunlight.

“PRESENTS!” Jacob shrieked in a tone that was entirely too loud and high-pitched for the time of day but he sat cross-legged next to Louis, patiently waiting. Harry was always impressed by his good manners, proud as always for Louis for instilling such good values in his young son. Another thought ran through his head, and he tried to push it away, focusing on the excited little boy in front of him. He leaned in and kissed Louis, then Jacob and put the bag down on Jacob’s lap. The little boy opened all the presents and cards, excited by everything he received, no matter how small.

“You’ve got a little something downstairs, too,” Louis said, watching as Jacob jumped off the bed, literally jumped, crashing onto the floor and scrambling up onto his feet, waiting at the top of the stairs. Harry carried him down, his hand over Jacob’s eyes so he couldn’t see and Louis opened the curtains, nodding to tell Harry to uncover their son’s eyes.

“OH MY GOD A BIKE!” Jacob cried, rushing over and sitting down on it. Louis pulled out his phone and snapped a photo, a little worried as he watched Harry rush out of the room in the direction of the kitchen. He had a quick word with Jacob, telling him to stand up his cards on the windowsill while he went after Harry, concerned by his reaction.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” he said, grabbing Harry in a hug as he saw him crying on the counter, head laid on his arms. “Harry babe, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” Harry pulled back, wiping his eyes on his t-shirt, giving Louis a wobbly smile.

“Nothing Lou, just me being daft,” he said, reaching out for Louis’ hand now, pulling him a step closer. “It’s just… he’s, hes such a lovely boy, Lou. I mean, he’s so, like, grateful for everything he got, even the silly small stuff. His little face when he saw that bike… it was like we’d given him the world. You’ve just done such an amazing job with him. I love you so much, you’re such a wonderful Dad, Lou.” Louis was feeling a little emotional himself now at the gushing praise, and kissed Harry softly as they held hands.

“I love you too,” he said. “And thank you. He is pretty special, isn’t he?” Harry just nodded and Jacob ran into the room.

“Is it time for cake yet?!”

 

 

*****

They’d taken him to Pizza Hut for lunch, Jacob’s choice of course, and Harry was relieved that the majority of fans left them alone to celebrate, having seen Jacob’s shiny ‘7’ helium balloon tied to the back of his chair. The few that did approach didn't ask for photos, instead they told Harry they just wanted to thank him for his new album, and how much they were enjoying it. These were the fan interactions Harry enjoyed, and was grateful to the girls for their show of respect to him and his family.

They headed home after that, awaiting the arrival of a few of Jacob’s friends for a small party. Jacob hadn’t wanted a huge party, and Louis said in the past he’d always preferred to have his family around, and Harry had been oddly moved when Jacob had called Anne and Robin and asked them to come along too. They were thrilled, and by mid-afternoon, Louis’ little house was stuffed full of people and children.

“Can’t wait to move now,” Louis said to Harry as he squeezed through a doorway past his sister, putting a few dirty dishes on the side, grateful Harry had decided to use paper plates for their guests, avoiding adding to the washing up later on. It was a sunny day so Jacob and his friends were on the trampoline in the garden, Anne and Jay were sat on a bench outside chatting, and everyone else was mingling easily in the house.

“Won’t be long, babe,” Harry said, running a comforting hand up and down Louis’ arm. “I think Andrew said the other day it’ll be a few months but it’ll be worth the wait, we love that house. I can’t wait to start thinking about decorating it and making it ours.” Louis grinned and nodded. It was the sort of house he’d always dreamed he could raise a family in, and it was yet another dream Harry was making come true. He got onto his tiptoes to kiss him softly.

“Cake time,” Louis mumbled, reluctantly breaking their moment. He fetched the little packet of blue candles he’d bought at the shop yesterday and stuck 7 on them in the top. He looked in awe at the cake again and grinned. Harry had put an order in at one of his favourite bakeries, and they hadn’t disappointed. It was Captain America themed, Jacob’s favourite Avenger, and the little boy hadn’t seen it yet. Louis wasn’t sure if it could possibly beat last year’s Harry Styles face homemade by Louis cake.

He grabbed the box of matches from the table and lit the candles while Harry gathered everyone in the living room, the children gathered eagerly around the small coffee table in the sitting room and when Louis appeared in the doorway, cake balanced carefully on its board, they began to sing. Jacob had the widest smile on his face as they finished and he grinned widely at the cake in front of him.

“Oh my god this cake is so cool!” he shouted, getting closer for another look after blowing out the candles in one big breath.

“Well you can thank your dad for that,” Louis said, Harry blushing where he was sat between Anne and Jay. “He chose it and got it made for you.”

Jacob ran over and threw himself into Harry’s arms. “You’re the best dad in the whole wide world,” Jacob whispered into his ear, loud enough for Jay and Anne to hear, the latter squeezing Harry’s thigh gently at the heartfelt words coming from the little boy. He kissed Harry and ran to follow Louis into the kitchen where he was slicing up the cake now, all the children eager to devour a piece as soon as possible.

“You’re so good to them,” Jay started to say, Anne nodding along with her. “I always wanted Louis to find someone to share his life with, and when he’d had Jacob, he used to say he wasn’t interested in love, that Jake was all that mattered. But you’ve changed that for him, Harry. You’ve shown him he deserves to be loved as well, that life is more fun when you share it with someone. Thank you, for loving them both so wonderfully. I just … no, never mind.”

“No, what, Jay?” Harry asked softly, taking her hand in his, listening to the giggles coming from the kitchen and smiling to himself.

“I just, well, I hope I’m not being too forward here but, oh sod it. I hope you’re planning on being around for a long time, Harry, because I know how much Louis wants you to be.” Her cheeks were red at her confession, but it just filled Harry with such love.

“I am, Jay, I promise. You honestly have nothing to worry about there. If I have anything to do with it, I’m going to be staying right here with my boys, and-” he cut himself off then, clearing his throat. “Just, yeah, I’m not ever planning on going anywhere.” Both Jay and Anne were giving him knowing looks and he rolled his eyes, getting to his feet, walking to the kitchen.

There was a strange amount of calm in the room, the children all seated around the table eating cake from their paper plates, and Harry again thought Louis had performed some kind of voodoo magic in getting them all to do as he said, despite them already being on a bit of a sugar high from too many party rings and glasses of squash. Louis held up a finger covered in icing to Harry’s lips, and he parted them, sucking it into his mouth quickly, making Louis wrinkle his nose at the sensation.

“Gross,” he said, as he withdrew his finger, wiping it on the leg of his jeans.

“I’ve had things you’d probably think were a lot more gross in my mouth, but I didn't hear you complaining at the time,” Harry rumbled into Louis’ ear, feeling his body react with a shiver at his words. He chuckled lowly, licking his lips, already wanting more cake as it was so delicious. “Sorry, love. Need a hand with anything?” Louis shook his head and slid the cake away into its box, keeping it fresh for the next few days. “The other parents are due soon, shall we do presents after the cake so Jacob can say thank you to everyone?”

“Sounds like a plan, Styles. You’ve really got this parenting thing down, haven’t ya?”

“Damn right,” he said proudly, hands on his hips now. “Then I wondered if we could go on a bike ride before bed? It’s getting darker later now and I know Jake is dying to try out his new bike.” Harry had popped home the night before and brought his own bike from his house over to Louis’, already having planned out the idea of a family ride. Louis tilted his head to the side, and just looked at Harry for a moment, making him feel a bit self-conscious. “What?”

“Are you actually real? I mean, do people like you seriously exist?”

“Touch me and find out,” Harry said, waggling his eyebrows, a smirk crossing his lips. Louis surprised him by doing just that, surging forwards and pressing his hands to Harry’s chest, tilting his chin up for a kiss which Harry gave happily. “I love you, Louis Tomlinson.”

“Love you too, Haz. And yes to the bike ride, it sounds fun. He’ll love that.” They held hands as they walked back to the sitting room, ready for the present opening. Jacob and his friends were sat on the floor, presents in a pile in the middle, and Harry flopped down on a free chair, bringing Louis onto his lap. “Go on then love, start opening,” Louis said, and Jacob didn't need any more encouragement.

He was, of course, delighted with all the gifts he received, thanking and hugging each of his friends in return for his wonderful presents. Soon after, parents began to arrive, thanking Louis and Harry profusely as they took their children home with a little party bag Louis had spent one evening putting together while Harry had been at the studio. The families left soon after, aware Harry and Louis wanted to go out with Jake on his bike and once the house was free, Jake ran upstairs to get changed into something with long sleeves and trousers to protect his arms and legs, and ran downstairs, grabbing his helmet from where Louis had left it at the bottom of the stairs.

The bikes were all outside the front of the house now, and they saddled up, letting Jacob ride up and down the street a few times to get used to his new bike before Harry and Louis picked up their own bikes, riding off down the street with Jacob on the pavement next to them. They hit a straight bit of road so Harry took his hands off the handlebars, crossing his arms on his chest as his legs pedalled, keeping his balance.

“Dad, how are you doing that, is it magic?!” Jacob shouted when he saw what Harry was doing, and both men laughed at his innocence.

“No, love, when you get bigger you’ll be able to do it too, you try Lou.” Louis rolled his eyes but sat up, letting go and managing to cycle for a bit like that, not quite as confident as Harry but still, he didn't feel too bad about it. They arrived at the local park, a huge green area with plenty of sloping curvy paths, and just enough scenery to keep them occupied, and they let Jacob cycle ahead now the traffic wasn’t a concern. Harry and Louis rode next to each other, sending glimpses at each other, smiling and blushing when they caught each other’s eyes. Harry reached across and rested his hand at the base of Louis’ spine, a gentle yet intimate touch both of them loved.

“Love you, love this,” Harry said, enjoying the feel of being in nature with his family, the wind keeping them cool, the peace and quiet calming. “He’s good on a bike, when did you get rid of his stabilisers?”

“Um, I think he was about 3? Before he started school. I just took them off and hoped for the best but he got the hang of it so quickly. Was a proud moment.”

“I bet,” Harry said somewhat wistfully, Louis throwing him a puzzled glance. Harry knew Louis was waiting for him to say more, so he continued. “I just, I wish I hadn’t missed so much of his life, Lou. It’s ridiculous, because before a year ago, I didn't know you both existed. But still, I wish I could have seen his first steps, hear his first word. All the stuff that parents get to do, you know?”

Louis sighed. If he was honest, he’d been thinking the same thing lately. He adored seeing Harry with Jacob, how naturally parenting came to him, and he wanted more. They hadn’t even been together a year yet, it was too soon to seriously be considering anything, but he’d woken up a few dreams from the nicest dreams, and now with them buying a big house together, he couldn’t deny the thought of more children with Harry was very appealing.

“Me too, love,” was what he said. “I’d have loved for you to have been around then, to have experienced that with me, too. But you’re here now and that’s what matters.” He pulled on his brake and came to a stop, noticing Jacob had done the same up ahead and was busily picking some flowers from one of their park’s designated flower picking beds. He leaned over and kissed Harry’s lips gently, a palm resting on his cheek. He took a deep breath, a bit surprised by what he knew he was about to say. “Let’s just, let’s not write that off just yet. Okay?” Harry nodded shyly, and they climbed back on their bikes after Harry snapped a quick photo of the birthday boy, heading now in the direction of home.

*****

“Lou, can we chat quick babe?” Harry called into the bathroom later that night, where Louis was in the shower. Louis called him in so Harry wandered in, still naked from his own shower and instead of sitting on the closed loo seat as Louis had expected, he slid open the door and stepped inside.

“You literally _just_ got dry,” Louis said, rolling his eyes as Harry wrapped him in his arms, water raining down on both of their bodies.

“Don’t care,” Harry mumbled, kissing down Louis’ neck. “S’only a bit of water, no big deal.” Louis stepped away to grab the shampoo and Harry made grabby hands for him to come back. “C’mere, let me do it.” Louis handed over the bottle and let his head fall back as Harry’s fingers worked over his scalp, massaging the shampoo in, cleaning him carefully.

It was actually moments like this both Louis and Harry had missed when they were single. Intimate moments like sharing a shower, washing someone’s hair, kissing them goodnight before you fell asleep in each other’s arms. Sex was something that could be gotten from anyone, a one night stand, a friend you sometimes fooled around with. But you couldn’t fool intimacy - it was natural thing, and both were still relishing in having found it in each other, even a year on.

“Thought you wanted to chat?” Louis said as Harry started sucking at his neck, the junction between his ear and his neck, one of Louis’ most sensitive places. Harry just hummed and slid his hands down Louis’ dripping body, brushing his fingers gently over Louis’ hardening cock, enjoying how responsive his boyfriend’s body was for him.

“Chat later,” Harry whispered as he spun Louis around gently. Harry felt like his body was on fire with the need he felt deep inside to touch Louis, to connect with him after the day they’d spent together as a family. He hadn’t been able to get Louis’ comments from the bike ride out of his head, and was a bit lost in thoughts of forever, and making some sort of commitment to Louis, sooner rather than later. “Right now, want to feel you, just-” Harry groaned as Louis brought his fingertips up, pinching Harry’s nipple between his fingers.

“What do you want baby?” Louis asked, keen for Harry to express what he wanted from him.

Harry groaned as Louis ducked his head, sucking the other nipple into his mouth as his fingers worked over the other, Harry’s cock twitching in response. “Want, uh Lou, want you inside me, in here, want you to fuck me in here-”

“Okay, fuck, lemme just-” Louis dropped his hands from Harry’s body and slid the door open, rifling around in the back of one of the wicker drawers in the unit, coming back with a small bottle of waterproof lube. Harry grabbed it and held Louis’ hand up, drizzling the liquid over his fingers out of the way of the spray. “You want it bad, huh babe?” Harry just nodded and guided Louis’ hand around his back, and Harry gasped as Louis trailed his fingers between his cheeks, where he wanted him most.

Louis pushed forwards gently, feeling his way as he pulled Harry’s mouth down into a kiss his tongue wandering into the waiting mouth, Harry whining at all the sensations. Louis took advantage of Harry’s state and pushed his finger deep inside, Harry’s body clenching around him immediately. Harry bit down on Louis’ bottom lip, running his tongue along to soothe it after, and Louis kept his finger moving, wanting to move things along quickly, his own body craving Harry’s now.

“More, please, more…” Harry whimpered, dropping his forehead forward onto Louis’ shoulder, widening his feet on the floor of the shower, giving Louis more space as he pushed another finger into Harry’s pliant body. They stayed silent for a few minutes as Louis opened Harry up, Harry eventually rocking back and forth on Louis’ fingers as he held Louis’ hand in place behind him, Louis mesmerised at the sight of Harry taking what he needed from him. “I’m ready, Lou please, make me yours-” He was almost sobbing now and Louis gently withdrew his fingers, rushing to comfort Harry.

“Baby, you’re okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you sweetheart. You’re mine, just mine Harry,” Louis comforted, putting his hands on Harry’s hips to turn him around gently, pressing him up against the wall. He watched as Harry brought his hands up against the tiles, fingers look for something to grab onto. Louis pressed one hand on top of one of Harry’s, lacing their fingers as Harry spread his legs, Louis using his free hand to line his cock up with Harry’s hole. He stayed there for a moment until Harry rocked his hips back, moaning lowly under his breath.

Louis pressed forwards, breaching Harry’s body slowly, and it gave each of them some instant relief, the way he felt buried inside Harry was so right. He pushed forwards until he bottomed out, holding himself still for a moment, letting Harry’s body accommodate him, stretch around himself. Harry turned his head and they kissed for a minute until Harry reached backwards with one hand, setting it on Louis’ hip, encouraging him to move slowly. Louis began to rock his hips, eyes dropping down to where he could see his cock disappear into Harry’s body, over and over.

“Oh … god Louis, fill me up so good, so good … oh!” He bit down hard on his own lip as Louis made one hard thrust, Harry’s own cock bouncing off the shower tiles, sending a zip of pain and pleasure down his spine. “Louis, touch me, please …”

Louis reached a hand around their wet bodies, still rocking his hips as he took Harry’s length in one hand, stroking up and down, marvelling over how heavy Harry felt in his hand, how soft the skin of his shaft was. Harry was letting out shaky breaths as Louis overwhelmed him, kissing across his back, between his shoulder blades as he thrust into him repeatedly, ramping up the strength behind them as they chased more.

“Let me love you,” Louis whispered and Harry nodded, letting Louis completely take control of him, breathing heavily, concentrating on not coming too soon as Louis’ hand stayed around his cock, squeezing gently as his hand rose to the tip, thumbing over the head before sliding back down, aided by the cooling water running down them from the shower.

Harry could feel the ripple of his orgasm low in his stomach and he tensed slightly, Louis letting out a moan as Harry’s muscle restricted around him, punctuating his thrusts with little noises Harry loved. He grabbed around Louis’ fingers again, bringing them to his mouth and kissing each of them as Louis murmured words of love into his ear, hips thrusting erratically as his impending orgasm approached.

Harry was murmuring something under his breath as Louis felt himself about to fall over the edge, and he wriggled against Harry’s hold, pulling his fingers away and grabbed at Harry’s hair, turning his head so he could hear him.

“Forever, forever, you forever,” Harry was mumbling, tears down under his cheeks as Louis started to release into him, crying out Harry’s name softly under his breath. He could feel himself filling Harry up and he tugged at Harry’s hard, red cock hard enough that he started to come too, his come coating Louis’ hand before the shower washed it away. Louis stayed inside Harry for a moment, forehead against his back as he tried to catch his breath, Harry’s body shaking with his tears.

Louis slid out carefully and spun Harry around, getting onto tiptoes as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders, letting him cry it out for a minute. The water was almost cold by now so Louis reached around behind them both and turned it off, dragging Harry out of the shower with him, wrapping them both in the fluffy towels at one side. He patted Harry’s body dry and held his hand as they walked to their bedroom, collapsing on their bed together, Harry nuzzling straight into Louis’s side, curling their bodies up together.

“You alright sweetheart?” Louis said when he felt Harry’s cries were under control, his boyfriend nodding.

“I’m sorry, just got a bit overwhelmed. Felt so loved and it all got a bit much …” Harry trailed off, a bit embarrassed by his display of emotion.

“Don’t ever apologise for that, but I’m glad I made you feel loved,” Louis said softly, pushing some of Harry’s longer curls away from his face. “I’m guessing we still have to talk… I hope it’s nothing serious?” Harry hurried to shake his head and reassure Louis.

“No, nothing bad. I was going to make it a surprise, but with Jake, I don’t think I can. “Louis’ heart started to beat faster then, wondering where all this was going. “I mean, I think you’ll be fine with it but I can’t just whisk you away without checking it’s okay with you first.”

“Whisk me- Harry, what are you going on about?”

“It’s the Easter holidays soon, right? And, well, we’ve known each other a year today. That’s pretty special to me, like our first anniversary or something. So I want us to go away, just you and me. Want you to myself for a while. I’ve checked and our mums are happy to have Jacob between them while we’re gone but is-”

Louis cut him off with a kiss, already excited about the prospect despite the fact he didn't yet know where they were heading. “I would fucking love that. And I love you even more for checking with me first. You’re amazing, you know that right? And I love you so much, so so much Harry. This year has been the best of my life, the best thing I ever did was bring Jacob to your concert.”

“I agree,” Harry said with a smile. “I’m glad he caught my attention. Although I have to be honest… it was your smile that kept me coming back for more. I thought you were gorgeous that night, the way you looked after your boy, bantered with me. Best concert ever, I think.”

“Won’t argue with you there,” Louis said, pecking Harry’s lips quick. “So, do I get to know where you’re taking me?”

“Nope,” Harry said with a cheeky smile, laughing as Louis moaned and pouted at him. “Pout all you like Tomlinson, ain’t gonna work!” He shrieked then as Louis pushed him onto his back, straddling his hips and started tickling him relentlessly, their laughter filling the bedroom, neither of them ever wanting to anywhere else but with each other.


	21. I Could Not Ask For More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis finally get to enjoy some time to themselves on holiday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, credit for manips to their amazing owners and creators.
> 
> This one is for Liz... one scene in particular! x

“Oh for fuck’s sakes, I’m such an embarrassment,” Louis sniffed as Harry finally pulled out of his mum’s driveway, the pair of them waving at Jacob through their windows as they drove away. Louis grabbed a tissue from Harry’s glove box and wiped at his eyes, cheeks flaming with mortification over how he had cried saying goodbye to his son when they dropped him off for his ten day stint, the first five with Anne and Robin, before heading to Jay and Dan’s for the second five days. Jacob was beside himself with excitement, knowing he’d be spoilt rotten by both sets of grandparents, and while Louis knew this too, he still found it hard to say goodbye.

Harry had fully expected to be the one to crumble, if he was honest. He was an emotional wreck at the best of times but when he saw Louis dissolve into tears as he gave Jacob his final hug, he steeled himself, wanting to be the one Louis could lean on. He’d hugged and kissed Jacob himself, handing him over to Robin who took him happily as Harry put a hand on Louis’ back, steering him gently towards the door. He had a feeling Louis would be okay once they’d gotten the goodbyes out of the way, so he made the rest of it as quick as possible.

“Love, it’s fine to cry. Christ, I do it enough, you know that. You’re saying bye to our son for 10 days, of course you’re going to miss him. But I promise you that you are going to love where we’re going, and we are going to have the most amazing time.”

“Tell me more,” Louis said, sniffing and wiping the last of his tears away. He turned slightly in his seat so he could watch Harry as he drove them to the airport. He honestly didn't have a clue about where Harry was taking him for their one year anniversary (Harry was insistent on it being an anniversary of them meeting, rather than when they’d officially become a couple and Louis wasn’t about to argue), since Harry had even insisted on packing both of their suitcases by himself. This made Louis nervous but he went with it, figuring he could just go and buy whatever Harry forgot.

Harry smiled widely, his dimple popping as he began to talk. “Okay, just a few clues. We’re gonna walk on the beach together… swim in the sea, and our pool… drink cocktails as the sun sets…. Have some pretty mind-blowing sex in our own private villa-”

“You’re making me hard, stop it,” Louis said with a deadly serious face, making Harry laugh, coming to a stop at a traffic light.

“Won’t have to stop that soon enough, will I?” Harry said, winking comically at Louis who just rolled his eyes and reached forward, turning up the radio to drown out his ridiculous boyfriend.

*****

“You’re fucking kidding,” Louis said, jaw feeling like it was on the floor as they stood at the check in desk, Harry stood next to him with their suitcases at his feet. “Jamaica. You’re taking me to Jamaica.” Harry just nodded with a smile, sharing small glances with the young lady behind the desk who was politely trying to ignore them. “Knew I loved you for a reason.”

Harry giggled, actually _giggled_ , and handed over both of their passports from his own carry on bag, leaning over to kiss Louis quickly. Neither of them cared about being affectionate in public anymore. The few times they’d been caught and the photos had been published online, the comments from fans had been so positive, they didn't let it bother them anymore. “Yep, you’re all about the money, Tomlinson.”

They thanked the lady behind the desk, for both her discretion at their ridiculous banter and her service and strolled hand in hand through security. As this wasn’t a promo trip, no one had any idea Harry was travelling, and with his hat on and dressed down, he was able to pass around fairly unnoticed. They got a few people doing a double-take but with a smile, they walked away, determined to keep to themselves. They sat in the departure lounge for a while, watching the music station play video after video, Harry now texting his mum and Louis was people-watching, one of this favourite past-times when out and about.

The track changed and Louis sniggered in his seat, elbowing Harry to get his attention?

“Fucks sake Lou, what is it- oh bloody hell.” Harry pulled his hat down and furtively glanced around as the video for ‘Only Angel’ played through the lounge. Louis sang along quietly much to Harry’s amusement, although he couldn’t quite bring himself to watch his video on the screen. Louis, on the other hand, was having the time of his life, mocking Harry’s dancing, expressions, anything he could really.

“That _shirt_ Harry, what the actual fuck were you thinking? And the necklace. Obscene, quite frankly. And whose chose blue wings? Pink would definitely be more your thing.” Harry shrugged and nodding, fully agreeing with his boyfriend. He’d argued with the director for ages about that and was still slightly bitter he hadn’t got the pink wings he’d wanted. He’d rebelled by painting his nails pink for the video, and had refused to remove it.

“This is the boarding call for flight BA2262, London Heathrow to Kingston, that’s flight BA2262 to Kingston, Jamaica. Please make your way to Gate 23, thank you.” Louis stood and pulled Harry to his feet.

“Come on gorgeous, sand, sea and sex await us …” Harry laughed at that, picking Louis up and spinning him around, drawing the looks from other passengers, Louis’ cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “Put me down!”

“Love you and want the world to know it,” Harry mumbled, setting Louis back onto his feet and pressing his lips roughly against Louis’ for a moment. “The world awaits baby. Let’s go.”

*****

“Oh my fucking god.” Louis stood still in the middle of the most amazing private beach he had ever seen, and he’d googled a fair few on the taxi ride down here when Harry let slip he’d hired them a private villa for the duration of their holiday. The sand was pure white between his toes, a hammock was slung neatly between two palm trees and they were stood in front of the most beautiful holiday home Louis had ever seen.

He shivered slightly as Harry crowded up behind him, bending to rest his chin on Louis’ shoulder, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist now, letting him take it all in. he felt Louis sigh underneath his touch, and smiled to himself, knowing he’d made the right choice after days of decision making back at home in the studio, well out of sight of his nosy Louis.

“You like it, baby?” he asked, and Louis could just nod. Harry unwrapped his arms and grabbed Louis’ hand, stalking up to the house. He left the suitcases outside as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small silver key, sliding it into the lock and letting it creak open. It was stunning, there was no other word for it. It was all open plan, tiled floors, high white ceilings and the most amazing art work was hung on the walls. Louis was in love.

“Harry, this is just - fucking hell, I don’t deserve this, I mean-”

“Oh yes you bloody do,” Harry said, swinging Louis around and kissing him for a minute. “I wish I could make every dream come true for you, but until then, I’m going to do all I can to show you how much I love you, Louis. You deserve this and so, so much more.” They kissed again, pulling apart only when Harry realised they hadn’t explored the rest of the beach front villa. They held hands as they wandered around, exclaiming at the size of the bed and the rose petals littered across the duvet, a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket at the side of the bed, a little extra Harry had paid to ensure would happen.

They pulled open the patio doors to their own private pool, and the water looked so cool and refreshing Louis just wanted to dive in. Instead, he stepped over to Harry, kissing him as he slid the phone from his back pocket and chucking it, along with his own, onto the sofa behind them. Then he grabbed Harry’s hands  and ran with him to the pool, throwing the pair of them in fully clothed. A second later, Harry burst to the surface, a shocked look on his face, looking around wildly for Louis.

“What the fuck was that?” he shouted, kicking his legs under the water to stay afloat as Louis floated on his back, face up to the sun, eyes shut in a look of pure bliss despite the sodden clothes clinging to his body. Harry swam over and scooped Louis up, swimming them to the side and crowding Louis against the tiles of the wall. “You minx. I’m gonna get you back for that, don’t you worry.”

“Love to see you try,” Louis remarked, and let Harry kiss him again, rutting their wet bodies together under the surface of the water, both turned on by how hot they were in the sun, and the opulence of their surroundings, knowing they were fully alone for the next ten days. They’d never spent this amount of time alone before and while Louis missed Jacob, he couldn’t wait for the time alone with his boyfriend he’d been craving for too long, determined to make the most of every single second.

*****

The next morning, Louis woke up to an empty bed. The sheet on the other side of the bed was still warm so he knew Harry hadn’t been gone long. He leaned over and checked his phone screen, pleased to see there was no message from Anne, so he swung his legs out of bed and crept quietly out of the room. As he stepped into the main corridor, he could hear the familiar sound of splashing and headed out to the pool. The back doors were thrown open and Harry was doing lengths, the water already warm from the early sun and consistently warm temperatures. Louis went and sat on the edge of the pool in his boxers, letting his legs dangle in there until Harry noticed him. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a little unable to believe where he was and what he was doing.

All of a sudden, two wet hands landed on his thighs, and Harry pressed a wet kiss to his skin, making Louis chuckle. He gently flicked his fingers in the water at Harry, who was now gently holding on to his feet as he caught his breath for a moment.

“Why’d you leave me alone in bed?” Louis asked when Harry took his hands, resting his dripping forearms on Louis’ legs again. “Missed you this morning.” Harry rested his arms on the poolside and pushed himself up enough that he could kiss Louis, soaking Louis in the process. Louis could see the movement of Harry’s trunks under the water, and suddenly had a compulsion to watch his boyfriend do a little more swimming, just for his benefit.

“Sorry love. Was too hot and you looked so peaceful. Thought I’d leave you to it and come and do something that wouldn’t disturb you. Did I wake you?” Louis shook his head and ducked his head, kissing Harry’s wet lips again, tasting the chlorine as he slipped his tongue in, gently toying with Harry’s for a second. “Got some fresh fruit delivered this morning for breakfast, I’ll sort it out in a minute.”

“I’ll do it,” said Louis, hopping to his feet and leaving Harry in the pool. He threw him a smile over his shoulder, knowing Harry was watching his every move. Instead of heading straight for the kitchen, he stepped out of the front door onto their private beach. He took in the view for a minute, enjoying the peace and tranquility of the moment. He could see no-one else around, the waves gently lapped at the shore and Louis honestly felt like he was in paradise. He took a few photos for his mum and Jacob and went back inside, chopping up the fruit that had been left in a wooden crate on the kitchen table.

 

He took it back out to the poolside and sat on one of the loungers, watching Harry lift himself out of the pool and come over, dripping wet as he sat on the chair. They ate in silence, fingers linked between them until Harry parted his legs and patted the space. Louis sighed as he knew the space would be wet but regardless, he got up and sat down between Harry’s legs, cringing slightly as the wetness seeped into his boxers but still, he rested back against Harry’s firm body.

“This is heaven,” he said softly, letting Harry slip a strawberry between his lips, chewing the juicy fruit, licking his lips as he swallowed. “I love that we’re on our own. We’ve never really had that, not properly anyway. I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Harry said, accepting a slice of banana from Louis this time, smiling down as he chewed it. “I love Jake, and our family, you know I do. But being here with you, on our own, able to do what we want, when we want? This is fun.”

“What we want when we want hey?” Louis asked with a cheeky smile, turning around and kneeling between Harry’s thighs. “And what is it that you want, Styles?”

“Hmmmm,” Harry said, tapping his finger on his chin, pretending to think it through. “Well, the easy answer would be you.”

“And when you do want me?”

“Tomorrow afternoon at two,” Harry said with a deadly serious expression, and seconds later, the pair of them burst into laughter. “You’re so beautiful when you laugh,” he said softly, running a finger down the little crinkles Louis got at the side of his eyes when he smiled or laughed like that. “Wanna wake up to your face every day for the rest of my life.”

Louis looked a little taken aback by that and let Harry continue to stroke his face. The moment had turned from a flirty one to a far more serious one, a mood settling between them that was hard to ignore.

“Fuck it,” Harry mumbled under his breath, leaning forward to put both of their bowls on the floor with a clink, Louis looking a little puzzled at the sudden movement. “I don’t have a ring. I don’t, and I’m sorry for that. But Louis, you need to know I want to marry you. More than anything. I want forever with you and I’m not scared of that. I’m gonna do this properly, I really am, but I need to know you’re in this as much as I am, that you can see me as your future as well.”

“Shit-” Louis said, raising his hand and running his fingers through his hair, the strands warmed by the sunshine beating down on their bodies. “Please tell me you’re not really asking that, that you need an answer Harry?” Louis couldn’t miss how Harry’s face fell at that, and he rushed to correct him. “No, no, NO! Harry, NO. I don’t mean that, god no. I meant that I hope you didn't really need me to say that I feel that way about you too.”

“I, um- sorry..” Harry practically whispered, and Louis grabbed his hands, kissing the backs of both before he did.

“Don’t. No sorry’s. Yes, Harry, I want that. I want to marry you, I want a forever with you and our son, our family. More than anything. I don’t need an expensive ring, I just need you and your love, forever. That’s it. Please?”

“Oh my god,” Harry mumbled, wiping under his eyes where tears were already gathering. “Is this- god, shit I have to do this properly.” He shuffled around for a second and knelt opposite Louis, their knees touching, calves tucked under them, both shaking. “Marry me Louis, please. You’re all I want. I love you, more than I thought I could love anyone or anything. Just marry me, make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

“Yes, yes, forever yes,” Louis said, face splitting in the biggest grin as he nodded, his own smile mirrored in Harry’s own. “I love you, yes I’ll marry you. I love you Harry-” He was cut off by Harry grabbing his face and kissing him fiercely, trying to push all his love onto Louis with that kiss. “And Harry-”

“No talking, want you, want kissing-” Harry said, closing his eyes and pulling Louis close and into another kiss. Louis struggled against him, determined now to voice the words that had been flying his head for a while. They’d danced around the subject for too long, and now this had happened, he needed Harry to know.

“Mmm, no Harry, just a second-” Harry pulled away with a pout and let Louis hold his hands again. “Just a sec I promise, then I’m gonna take you inside and to bed. I promise. But when I said forever with you, our family?” He paused and Harry nodded, wondering where he was going with this. “I, um, well…”

“Louis…”

“Sorry. Okay. Our family. I want it to grow, Harry. I know we’ve got our son, but I want more. With you. I want us to have children together, to raise them and to be a family. Forever. That’s what I want. And I think you want that too?” He waited nervously for Harry’s answer but instead of words, he got his fiancé bringing his hands up to his face and bursting into tears. Harry’s body shook with his tears and Louis just sat with his arms around Harry’s shoulder, letting him cry out the emotion of the moment.

“You’re just everything,” Harry whispered through his tears into Louis’ ear. “You’ve given me so much, so fucking much and now you’re giving me this-” he cried again, and Louis stroked his hand up and down Harry’s bare back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Louis replied, pushing Harry back slightly so he could lock eyes with his boy. “Love you, fiancé.”

“Shit. You’re my fiancé. Get up.” Louis was a bit surprised by the way Harry stood so suddenly, shoving the lounger behind him with a scrape on the tiles. He leant forward and grabbed Louis, throwing him over his shoulder, slapping his ass quickly.

“Put. Me. Down!” Louis shouted as Harry marched them through the house in the direction of their bedroom. “Harry!”

“I’m taking my fiancé to bed, stop it!” Harry said firmly, kicking open the bedroom door, it bouncing off the wall with a loud bang making them both jump a bit.

“I mean it Styles, I won’t-”

“Tomlinson.”

“What?”

“Tomlinson. That’s what I wanna be when we’re married. I want to take your name, Lou.”

“Fuck. Seriously?” Louis said back, a bit staggered. He had assumed he would take Styles since that’s what Harry was famous for.

“Yeah, I’m serious. I mean, I can be Styles for on stage and for the music stuff. But for at home, I want to be Tomlinson, like you two. I want you to have a piece of me no-one else gets to have. I want to have your name, to show the world I’m yours, Lou, I want to be yours and Jake’s forever. Please let me have your name?”

In reply, Louis jumped into Harry’s arms and the pair staggered towards the bed, collapsing onto it together. They were kissing frantically now, Harry clawing at Louis’ t-shirt, trying to get it off as Louis’ hand was shoved inside Harry’s swim shorts, pushing them down with the other until they landed on the tiled floor with a wet squelch. Louis cringed but sat up on Harry’s thighs.

“Hands and knees.” Harry shuddered but hurried to do, situating himself in the middle of the bed, looking back over at his shoulder at his boyfriend - no, _fiancé_ , he reminded himself - feeling a little exposed but extremely turned on. “If you want my name, you have to take what I wanna give you.” Harry just nodded and bit his lip, closing his eyes and letting his head hang down towards the mattress.

The room was silent, the only sound the one from the ocean through the open window. He was about to look back and check Louis hadn’t disappeared when suddenly-

“Oh fuck- Lou …” he whined as he felt Louis’ tongue lick a broad stripe down between his cheeks, setting his whole body on fire. He almost tried to pull back from it, already overwhelmed from just one lick but Louis stopped him, clamping his hands hard on his hips, Harry slightly wishing it would bruise so he’d be reminded of this for the next few days at least. “Louis - oh my god, Lou …”

Louis smirked to himself as he dove back in, kitten licking around Harry’s rim, amazed at how responsive Harry was to this. They hadn’t dabbled in this too much, Harry was much more in favour of rimming Louis, and this was the first time Louis had decided he wanted to try, and to his surprise, he liked it. He liked how he tasted, so perfectly Harry, and he wanted more. He pressed kisses to his hole, puckering his lips and leaving them there for a second, feeling Harry’s muscles gently flutter under his touch.

“Enjoying that?” Louis murmured as he pulled away, looking down at where he’d been, feeling totally filthy at what he was doing. He quickly ducked his head and began again, biting gently on one of Harry’s cheeks, making him yelp for a second until he attacked him again with his tongue, pointing it slightly until the tip started to breach Harry’s body.

Harry was babbling all sorts of nonsense now, and Louis was loving the effect he was having on him. He loosened his grip on his hip with one hand and snaked the hand around, running his fingers through the coarse hair at the base of Harry’s cock that he kept neatly trimmed, much to Louis’ amusement, and let his fingers loosely wrap around Harry’s cock, tugging gently at it, already feeling the precome helping his slide.

“Lou, need to come- feels too good, christ-” he ducked his head again as Louis started to push his tongue inside again and brought his hand between his legs, running a finger around where his tongue was bobbing inside Harry. That was it. Harry cried out as he started to come, his release covering the sheet behind him, arms shaking as he struggled to stay up, not wanting Louis to stop what he was doing just yet. “Fuck me, Louis, please-”

Louis nodded and grabbed the lube, quickly opening Harry up with two fingers straight away, covering his cock with lube with the other hand. Harry was whining, begging for it so Louis quickly slid his fingers out, wiping them on the already dirty sheet and he lined up with Harry, pushing forward and bottoming out in one stroke, both groaning loudly as Louis’ hips met Harry’s backside.

While Louis loved fucking Harry from behind, he wanted something different. He shuffled his thighs together, and tugged at Harry’s hair, pulling him upright. Harry was now sat upright on Louis’ thighs, his back to Louis’ chest, and they moved slowly together, the angle driving them both insane with desire. Harry let his head roll back onto Louis’ shoulder and lifted himself up on his legs slightly, which were either side of Louis’. Their bodies rocked together slowly, Louis’ other hand wrapped around Harry’s already hardening cock.

“I love you, gonna marry you, give you babies, give you forever,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, knowing this would turn his fiancé on more than dirty talk at that moment. Harry was shaking under the exertion of keeping himself up and how good Louis was making him feel, overwhelmed by everything that had happened that morning.

“Love you, love you baby-” Harry managed to get out as Louis started to thrust faster. Just as Louis got a rhythm, Harry got out, wincing as Louis’ cock slipped from his body, hot and heavy into Louis’ lap. He laid down on the mattress and spread his legs, arms open for Louis. “Need you like this, wanna kiss you and see you.” Louis nodded and shuffled into position, ignoring the wet patch his knee was in as he easily slipped back into Harry’s waiting body.

“So tight, feel so good, love you,” Louis murmured as he started to rock his hips, his skin slapping Harry’s the only sound either could hear except their own heartbeats and breaths. They didn't speak anymore for a while, instead, they let their mouths and bodies do all the talking. They touched, kissed, licked and made love to each other for what felt like hours, and when Louis started to feel the familiar twinge low in his belly, he grabbed Harry’s hand and laced it with his, pressing it into the mattress as he kissed him, their tongues lazily playing with each others.

“‘M close baby, you close?” Louis whispered and Harry nodded. His entire body was sweaty, his cheeks were red and he looked a mess. Louis thought he had never looked more beautiful. He started to thrust faster, turned on by how fucked out Harry looked, and their gazes didn't break as they came, whispering words of love and affection as Louis spilled inside Harry, and Harry coated his own torso with his release.

“Love you, love you so much,” Louis mumbled as he collapsed down on top of Harry’s body, not caring he was coating himself in Harry’s sweat and come. It was definitely too late to start caring about that now. He looked at Harry and angled his head so their lips could meet quickly before he nuzzled back against Harry’s pretty much hair-free chest, kissing the soft skin of his pecs gently. “Harry Tomlinson. I like it. Love it actually. I can’t believe you want my name, babe.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Harry asked, genuinely puzzled at Louis’ surprise. “It’s a gorgeous name. I want to be the same as my boys, and I don’t expect you both to have to change yours. I want this, Lou, I promise I do.”

“I know,” Louis said, smiling to himself, wondering whether or not life really did get any better than this. “I want it too.”

 

*****

“I’ve been thinking,” said Louis from underneath the parasol, where he was watching Harry peel an apple with a knife. What was wrong with the skin he didn't know, but Harry had these odd quirks he was prone to, and who was Louis to change him now. “How would you feel if I said I wanted to get married now? Like, out here in Jamaica, just you and me?”

“Honestly? You know I’d marry you in a heartbeat Lou and if it was up to me, we’d probably have already been married at least six months,” he said through a chuckle, Louis gaping at him a little, shocked by that revelation. “Oh come on, don’t look so shocked. You know I’ve been madly in love with you for ages, it can’t be that surprising, surely?”

Louis just shrugged and curled over onto one side so he could look at his fiancé. “So shall we? Get married, that is. I just don’t want to hang around Harry, I know what I want, and it’s you.” Harry grinned and got onto his knees, giving Louis a kiss.

“Babe, as much as I want that, you know we can’t.” Louis actually looked sad at that, so Harry felt the need to explain. “Lou, Jake would be devastated if we got married without him and you know it. And I know deep down, you don’t want to do it without him either.”

Louis gave Harry a small smile then, knowing he was right. “Christ, you’re right, I know you are. But I hate it when you’re right.” He stuck out his bottom lip and Harry leaned over, running his tongue along it, making both of them shiver. “Of course I want Jake to be at our wedding. I just, well, if I’m honest love, I don’t want a huge thing, never have done. And you being you… famous and all that, I just don’t want it to turn into a circus or whatever.”

“Then it won’t,” Harry said simply with a shrug. “It’s our wedding Lou. And whatever we do, whenever we do it, it’s going to be what you and I and Jacob want, okay? At the end of the day, all we want is each other and to be married. So let’s make it happen, okay?”

They had had a chat the night after they’d got engaged, deciding not to post anything to social media about their new status. They wanted to be the ones to tell Jacob and their parents, and it was quite nice having a secret for a while, something that was just theirs. They’d both decided they didn't want engagement rings, and had an appointment later to go and do something far better for both of them. And as much as Louis wanted to elope and go and find someone in Jamaica who would marry them there and then, Harry was right. Louis would regret it if Jacob wasn’t there, and he couldn’t do that to his son anyway, no matter how much he wanted it.

“Thank you, for being the voice of reason as always,” Louis called over as Harry got up to dump his rubbish in the cool box they’d bought down to the beach, stuffed full with beers, coke, fruit and other snacks Harry had managed to rustle up. “I mean, as much as I really do wanna marry you now, I would have regretted it if Jake wasn’t here. You’re right, he’d have been so upset.”

“Exactly.” Louis wanted to wipe the smug grin off his face so chucked the last of his water bottle over Harry’s newly dry torso. “You little shit.” He grabbed a lump of strawberry from his fruit box and mushed it into Louis’ chest, the latter shocked by what Harry had just done. He was even more shocked when Harry leant forward and licked off the flesh and juice with his tongue, teasing slowly around Louis’ nipples as he did so.

“Fuck, we’re on the beach Haz, we can’t here-”

“It’s a private beach Louis. It’s you, me and the sea. And I want my fiancé and I want him now. Please.” Louis chuckled and groaned as his phone buzzed, Harry now settled across his thighs, fingers tickling at his hips.

“Hey, come on, up you get. That appointment is in an hour and the taxi will be here soon. I need a shower thanks to you, so get your fat arse off me.” He bucked his legs up, making Harry fly into his torso. “Fuck’s sake you lump.” Harry laughed and kissed his lips as he moved forwards and finally off the lounger, holding out his hands to pull Louis to his feet.

“Room for two in that shower?” he called after Louis’ retreating back, poking his tongue out as Louis spun around to face him.

“Always,” he called back, turning around and running into the house, Harry hot on his heels.

*****

 

“Shit, it looks amazing!” Harry said as he held out Louis’ finished design, kissing his hand before he let the tattoo artist wrap it up for him. Although they’d discussed the fact they didn't want engagement rings, they had decided together that they wanted something to mark the occasion, the memory of the most magical moment of their relationship to date. They’d talked about other items of jewellery but found themselves constantly coming back to the same idea over and over - a tattoo.

They’d googled for hours, trying to pick something that would symbolise them and their relationship without being too overtly soppy, and it was Harry who had stumbled across the exact thing they wanted. Louis had just finished getting the tattoo of a rope around his right wrist, open at the back, and Harry had earlier got an anchor on the front of his left wrist. With a husky voice the other night, he’d told Louis that he was his anchor, that he kept him grounded and sane despite the rest of the craziness in his life, and that Louis was the rope that always brought him back home in the end. That had sealed the deal, and they’d made love on the sofa despite Harry’s tears.

Before they could change their minds, Louis had gone online and booked their appointments, and now they were done, they paid for each other’s tattoos so it was their gift to each other. They both wanted to wear wedding rings once the deal was done, but this was for them, and only they knew what it meant. Louis had had the date of their engagement carefully inked into the rope, hidden unless you knew it was there, and Harry had the same in the bottom of the anchor. They loved having something just for them since so much of their lives, especially Harry’s, belonged to the fans and the world, and they couldn’t wait to show them off.

The wraps were in place as they left, holding hands with their tattoos lined up exactly as they planned. Instead of walking on down the street into the glorious sunshine, Harry stopped and spun Louis around in his arms, resting his joined hands at the bottom of Louis’ spine. He grinned down at his fiancé, bringing their lips together gently.

“You really are the best thing to ever happen to me, you know that? You and Jake. Both of you. I couldn’t ever be without you know.” Louis held up his right wrist, showing off the wrapped up skin.

“You never have to. Your rope, remember? I bring you home babe, always.”

“You bring me home.” Harry agreed, nodding and ignoring the presence of everyone passing them on the pavement, they kissed, letting the world pass them by as they once again lost themselves in the moment.

****

 

It was the final night of their trip to Jamaica. They’d spent an hour on FaceTime yesterday with Jacob, careful to mask the bandages on their skin as they did so so no-one knew what was going on. They’d told him all about the amazing time they’d had; swimming in the sea, sunbathing as much as they could, and enjoying everything that Jamaica had to offer. As much as they had had a wonderful time together, and had enjoyed everything from the hot weather to being able to have sex as loudly as they liked, as often as they liked, both were missing their son terribly and were ready to head home.

They were laid in the hammock out the front of their villa, Louis’ back nestled up against Harry’s front, and were watching the sun set low into the sea. The sky was bathed in oranges and pinks, the temperature still warm as the sea lapped peacefully at the shore. Harry was running his finger tips up and down Louis’ bare chest, humming softly to himself, something Louis recognised as one of the songs Harry had written for him on his album.

“Sing for me?” he asked softly, and Harry bent forwards, kissing the crown of Louis’ head softly as he sang quietly.

_Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me_  
_But bear this mind it was meant to be_  
_And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks_  
_And it all makes sense to me_

_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile_  
_You've never loved your stomach or your thighs_  
_The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine_  
_But I'll love them endlessly_

_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to_  
_I'm in love with you and all these little things_

_You can't go to bed without a cup of tea_  
_Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep_  
_And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep_  
_Though it makes no sense to me_

_I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape_  
_You never want to know how much you weigh_  
_You still have to squeeze into your jeans_  
_But you're perfect to me_  
  
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to_  
_I'm in love with you and all these little things_  
  
_You never love yourself half as much as I love you_  
_You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to_  
_If I let you know, I'm here for you_  
_Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh_

_I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to_  
_And I'm in love with you (all these little things)_  
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to_  
_'m in love with you, and all your little things_

As Harry finished the last verse, he could feel the tears falling from Louis’ eyes onto his top, and gently shuffled them around so they were face to face, taking care not to tip either of them out of the hammock, feeling a little precariously balanced at times. No words were needed. He brought his hand up, cupping Louis’ cheek softly as they kissed each other, tenderly and with such love it almost made them both ache with it.

The fingers of Harry’s free hand were laced with Louis’ own, holding on tightly as they embraced the intimacy of the moment, the last one they would share for a while. All either man was filled with was complete love and devotion for the other, and being here like this meant so much to both of them. As their kiss came to an end, Louis let his head loll onto Harry’s shoulder, tickling gently over the butterfly in the middle of his tummy, a tattoo Harry had never really fully explained but Louis loved regardless.

“Apart from Jacob being born, this trip has been the best thing I’ve ever done in my life,” Louis said quietly into the now encroaching darkness. “I really never thought we’d get engaged, not now at least. And I’m sure people online will have something to say about it, because they always do but I don’t care, Harry. Nothing has ever felt more right than this, than you. You know that feeling sometimes, where you think you’re fated to do something or meet someone?”

He paused, craning his head to look up at Harry who had his eyes shut but was nodding along. “Yeah. So, I think we were fated to be together. I don’t usually believe in all that stuff, but I really do. I believe we were meant to meet each other, meant to be together, no matter what, and your concert was the catalyst for all of this. Everything came together to get me there - getting the extra pay last year to pay for the tickets, Liam making sure we got front row for Jake, you spotting us. If those things hadn’t happened, Haz, I’d still be alone, and looking for something without knowing what it was I was searching for.”

“It was me. You were looking for me, and you found me,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ ring finger, something he’d taken to doing often since they’d got engaged. “And I’ve been so fucking happy to have found someone in my whole life. I love you more than I will ever be able to say, Louis. You honestly have no idea what I would do for you.”

Harry carefully arched his leg out of the hammock and placed it on the floor, slowly standing up as the wind whistled through the trees and bushes around them. He leant over and picked Louis up bridal style, carrying him carefully through the front door and out onto their patio, where he laid him down on the blankets they’d put out that morning when they’d woken early to see the sunrise, both sleepy and cuddled under blankets to fend off the early morning chill. It had been worth it, and both were moved by the moment.

Louis stared up as Harry put him down so carefully, almost like you would a newborn baby, and took his top off, laying down next to Louis. “What’re we doing out here?” Louis whispered, thinking to himself how beautiful Harry looked in the moonlight.

“Wanna make love to my fiancé under the stars for the last time out here,” Harry whispered back, and Louis couldn’t stop the tingles that ran through his body at that. Harry reached behind him and pulled out the bottle of lube, kissing Louis like it would be their last. He opened Louis up once they were both naked, and swallowed down all of Louis’ moans, enjoying the way his fiancé was clawing at his back as Harry’s fingers worked their magic deep inside his body.

“Ready?” Harry asked and Louis nodded,spreading his legs as Harry knelt between them, looking down quickly to line himself up. He pushed forwards gently, not wanting to ruin the moment by thrusting too hard, and they were both a bit overwhelmed with how good everything felt. There was a slight breeze but their bodies were coated in a thin sheen of sweat, both of full of pleasure and love as they moved together under the stars, Louis staring up at Harry like he had hung them all just for him.

They didn't speak as Harry slowly made love to Louis, so tenderly and carefully, wanting Louis to understand just how much this all meant, the fact that they were here together, were engaged to be married and were going to be a family. Everything was just perfect, and he felt the familiar burn of tears at the back of his eyes before they began to fall, landing softly on Louis’ chest. Louis reached up to wipe them away, bringing his legs up so his heels rested on Harry’s lower back, drawing him in ever deeper.

“I love you, Harry,” Louis said so quietly, Harry almost missed. They linked hands then, kissing as they slowly meandered their way to orgasm, neither one of them wanting to hurry a thing. It was so much, and yet not enough at the same time. Harry pulled out gently, and stood up, pulling a shaky legged Louis to his feet and made his way over to one of the wooden loungers, sitting the backrest upright before he sat down on it, looking up at Louis with wide, loving eyes.

Louis understood what it was Harry wanted and stood over Harry’s thighs, kneeling down on either side of his fiancé’s legs and slowly sinking down, Harry buried deep inside him. Louis groaned as Harry filled him up, split him open but it was the best kind of pain. He closed his eyes as he lifted himself slightly, feeling the drag of Harry’s cock inside him before he sank back down again, his cheeks meeting Harry’s legs. Louis dropped his forehead to meet Harry’s, and they both panted as they rocked together, kissing, fingers tangled in each others hair as they made love, lit only by the stars.

Harry was moved to tears as he finally came deep inside Louis, clutching on tightly to his fiancé’s hands, watching the way his body moved on top of his own, taking everything Harry had to give him. He reached a hand down then, wrapping it around Louis’ own hard length and stroking him to orgasm, whispering and mumbling words of love and forever and always to him as Louis spilled over his hand, crying himself now too.

Louis slumped down against Harry’s chest, Harry still inside him as Harry’s arms came up and around his torso, holding him tightly, letting them both catch their breaths for a minute, waiting for their tears to subside. Never before had sex been so emotional for either of them, and it marked a new milestone in their relationship, one that felt more concrete than ever.

“As much as I love Jacob and miss him and want to go home, I wish this never had to end,” Louis muttered into Harry’s ear. Harry could only nod, knowing what Louis had meant and feeling exactly the same himself. “I love you and I cannot wait to spend forever with you.”

“I can’t wait to tell the world that you’re mine, and I’m yours. Love you baby.”

“Sleep here tonight?” Louis asked softly, lifting himself up so Harry could slip out of his body, immediately cuddling back down against Harry’s chest, not caring about anything else except being close to him. He didn't get a reply and looked up, smiling to himself when he saw Harry’s eyes already shut, the way his chest was rising and falling with his soft breaths, already half in sleep. Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s chin and then his chest above his heart, the heart that now belonged completely and utterly to him.


	22. You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry tell Jacob their exciting news, they try something new together, and then finally move into their new home!

Louis sighed heavily as the plane finally made contact with the tarmac, letting out a big breath of air as he clutched onto Harry’s hand which was resting on top of his thigh. Louis didn't like flying at the best of times, let alone when the flight had been as full of turbulence as this one had been. It was a long flight but Louis hadn’t slept a wink and he was exhausted.

When the seat belt sign finally went out with a familiar ‘ping’, Harry unclipped his belt and stood up, reaching down his and Louis’ luggage from the overhead compartment. He placed both things onto the seat and shrugged on his own hoodie, one from his tour because it was the most comfortable thing he had on him, and it smelt of Louis since he’d worn it most of the flight. Louis had his own jacket on now and his bag was slung over his shoulder, ready to depart.

They decided to wait for most of the other passengers to disembark before they made their way out, hands laced as they walked down the thin aisle of the plane, down the tunnel and into the baggage claim section of the airport. They waited until their large case whirled around and Harry stalked off to grab it, smiling at a few young people who recognised him before going back to Louis and kissing him.

“Ready to go home to our boy?” he asked and Louis nodded eagerly. It had been a long ten days without their son, and both men were keen to get back to their little house and start packing. They had had a call while they were at the airport waiting for their return flight and it was Andrew, saying that the owners of their new house had moved out earlier than expected and Louis and Harry were free to move in when they liked. Neither of them saw the point in hanging around so decided to make a start on moving when they got home, around Louis’ work and Harry’s promo and studio time.

They quietly followed the other passengers around the corridors, passing quietly through immigration with their passports and headed through the last bit of Duty Free shopping and into the arrivals hall. They didn't look up until they nearly reached the end and it was then that they heard it.

“DADDY! DAD! YOU’RE HOME!” Something came flying at them at what felt like a hundred miles an hour and Louis only just managed to stop falling over when Jacob threw himself full pelt at Louis’ legs, wrapping himself around them like he hadn’t seen him for years, not just ten days. Harry scooped up the piece of card that Jacob had thrown on the floor in his rush to get to Louis, and felt tears brim in his eyes as he looked down at the homemade ‘Welcome Home Dads!” sign Jacob had made them.

Jacob kissed Louis and hurried away, running away towards a much more prepared Harry, the taler man scooping his son up and wrapping his arms tightly around him, hugging him like he never wanted to let go.

“I’ve missed you so, so much little love,” Harry whispered into Jacob’s ear, smiling at the sloppy kisses currently being pressed into his cheek. “Love you Jake, so happy we’re home.”

“I missed you both so much, I love Nanny Anne and Nanny Jay but I just missed our house and being with you and Daddy and I love you so much!” Jacob cried into Harry’s shoulder, a little overwhelmed. Louis stepped over and joined the hug, everyone in the arrivals hall aware of what was going on, and all were moved by the emotion of it all. Eventually, Harry managed to pry Jacob off him and back into Louis’ arms so he could take the bags.

He spotted his Mum and Jay at a distance, watching all this unfold and undoubtedly taking hundreds of pictures and he grinned with a small wave, heading over, looking back to see that Jacob and Louis were following, which they were. Jay took one of the bags and hugged Harry quickly as Anne hugged Louis. They really had become one happy family, and Louis watched fondly as Harry hugged his mum the same as he would his own.

“Thank you so much for this,” he said to Anne as he hugged her, Jacob on his feet now and clutching onto the sign that Harry had handed back to him. He waited patiently but soon enough, he’d had enough and was insistently tapping Louis’ thigh, trying to get his attention. “Sorry sweetheart, what’s that? Oh wow, it’s lovely, did you make it with Nanny Jay?” Jacob nodded with a big grin as Harry came over and slung an arm over Louis’ shoulder, grinning down at the picture himself.

“We went to Tesco and got new colours and glitter and stickers and maked it this morning!” Jacob said, jumping up and down on the spot now. “Do you like Daddy? Dad?” They both nodded and Harry picked him up again. “Can I come home with you in your car, please?”

“Nowhere else we’d want you to be,” Louis said, pinching his little cheek as the family made their way out of the airport. They said goodbye to Anne and Jay as they headed off to the short stay car park together since Louis and Harry had left his Audi in the long stay car park for their holiday, talking to Jacob eagerly about their trip, Harry showing off some photos on his phone in the safe little album he’d created especially for this moment, not wanting Jacob to stumble upon something that might scar him for life.

The drive home went well. Despite his excitement, Jacob fell asleep an hour into the drive, and finally started to stir as they got into their road. He waited as usual before Louis opened his door to remove his seatbelt and helped his dads with their bags as they went into the house. Anne had popped in and bought some shopping for them and collected the post, so things weren’t in too bad a state, which Louis was grateful for.

Harry made quick work of unpacking and getting things ready for the wash, too used to travelling to not want to get it out of the way while Louis threw together a quick tea, all of them ravenous by now. They ate at the table, answering Jacob’s every question before Harry hopped up and brought back the little bag of gifts they’d bought their son on a few of their trips into town. Harry stretched his arm out and Jacob spotted the bandage under his jumper, frowning and reaching out and touching the plaster on Harry’s skin.

“Dad, did you hurted your arm?” he asked, and Harry looked to Louis, who just nodded. They’d discussed this on the plane and were both in agreement. Jacob was going to be told about their engagement as soon as possible since they’d also put some other plans into motion that they were keeping to themselves.

“Um, not exactly,” Harry said as he pulled the hoodie up and over his head. Louis did the same and bared the plaster on his own wrist. Together, they removed them and Jacob stood up, coming to a stop between Harry’s legs and running a curious fingertip over the new ink on their bodies. He was used to seeing their tattoos since both men were heavily tattooed and often walked around shirtless at home, but he hadn’t seen them have any new ‘pictures’ (as he liked to call them) for a while.

“When we were on holiday in Jamaica, I asked Daddy a very special question,” Harry began, suddenly feeling a bit nervous about telling Jacob about this. “And we decided to get these tattoos to remember the question, and how it made us feel. I got an anchor for Daddy because he helps me to stay grounded, um, he’s the one who keeps me here, holds me here with you two. And Daddy got the rope, because every rope needs an anchor to hold on to, and Daddy is the one who brings me home every time I’m away. So, yeah, um, do you like them?” Jacob nodded, touching Louis’ tattoo now.

“Yeah, they’re pretty,” he said in a quiet voice. “What special question did you ask Daddy?” Harry swallowed heavily and looked to Louis who was smiling softly, telling him he wanted him to take over now.

“Dad asked me, um-” Louis said, stopping to clear his throat, and getting Jacob to stand in front of him. “Dad asked me to marry him, sweetheart. I said yes because I would like that very much. I love your dad a lot, and I think it would be lovely if we could get married. Is that okay with you? If Dad and I get married?” Jacob nodded and suddenly burst into tears, crying into the front of Louis’ t-shirt, big noisy gulps of air being sucked in as Louis rubbed his back, kind of having expected this reaction.

Harry looked a little concerned but he reached out and Jacob took his hand, squeezing tightly as his cries lessened slightly. He pulled back and sniffed, wiping his eyes on Louis’ t-shirt as he gave them watery smiles. He suddenly darted off and Louis could hear rustling before Jacob ran back into the room, clutching a piece of blue paper.

“I went to an art club with Nanny Anne,” Jacob began, wriggling up until he could sit on Louis’ knee, putting the piece of paper face down on the table in front of the three of them. “And the teacher man said we had to draw our family. The girl nexted to me drawed her mummy and daddy and her brother and her other brother. And then the boy on the other side drawed him and his mummy cos he didnt have a daddy, he was well jealous when I tolded him I had two daddies,” he suddenly said with a proud smile, filling Harry with such love.

“But I got sad because I thought I did it wrong but at the end the teacher man held up my picture and said it was beautiful.” Jacob turned it over then and Louis felt his breath catch as he took in what Jacob had so beautifully drawn. He was no artist, despite Zayn’s best efforts with him over the year, but Jacob had drawn everyone in his and Harry’s family, the word ‘Fahmilee’ in the middle in a wobbly blue heart. There was Jacob, Harry and Louis all holding hands at the bottom, Anne and Jay (their names above their heads) holding hands in one corner, Robin and Dan with what looked like glasses of beer in another place, then Gemma, Lottie, Félicité, Phoebe, Daisy, Ernest and Doris all around them. Zayn, Stan and Liam even made an appearance, and Louis thought it was the best thing he’d ever seen.

“My family is so big cos I got so many people who love me, and I got more people in my family cos we meeted Harry” Jacob explained, pointing at everyone on the picture. “And now I get a real proper family cos you and Dad are gonna get married and live happily ever after.” Harry was actually crying now, and turned his head, resting his forehead on Louis’ shoulder, soaking his top with his tears but neither minded.

“You are the best kid ever, you know that?” Louis said as Jacob hugged him, running his little fingers through Harry’s wild curls. “We love you so much, and now we have a little favour to ask you.” Jacob nodded seriously, understanding that when it came to his daddy, favours were a serious business. “Can you keep this to yourself for a little while, do you think? Daddy and I don’t want to tell people just yet that we want to get married because we have a plan. Is that okay? You can tell them about the tattoos if you want, but just not what they mean yet. Okay, sweetheart?”

Jacob made a zippy motion across his lips with a big grin. “So it’s like a special Tomlinson secret?”

“A Tomlinson secret?” Louis questioned, raising an eyebrow at his son. “But Harry is a Styles, babe-”

“No! But when you getted married, he will be a Tomlinson like us!” Louis grinned at Harry, the innocence of Jacob and his mind touching them both. “He can pretend to be a Tomlinson now too, I won’t tell anyone, promise. Do you want to be a Tomlinson, Dad?”

“Yeah babe, I wanna be a Tomlinson like you and Daddy,” Harry said with the biggest smile. “Hope you don’t mind?” Jacob shook his head vehemently, loving the idea of Harry being a Tomlinson too, just like him. “Oh, and we’ve got another surprise for you love.” Jacob kept his gaze on Harry, whose own eyes were on Louis again, checking for the okay. “Daddy and I just found out yesterday we can move in to our new house together when we want. So… you want to start packing so we can move in?”

“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” screamed Jacob at the top of his lungs. Louis had been worried Jacob wouldn’t like the idea of leaving the house he’d grown up in, and while he knew it might be different the last time they left together, he was happy that for now Jacob was excited about a new house. “Where’s the boxes?! I got too much stuff Daddy, you and Dad are gonna have to help me!” He turned and the next thing Harry and Louis heard was the thundering of his small footsteps before they ran back down again, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, red cheeked, staring at Harry and Louis.

“This, this is the BEST DAY EVER. You and Dad are getting married and now we are moving to our big new house. I am the luckiest boy in the whole world!” Before Louis or Harry could react, he’d ran back up the stairs, the sound of drawers being emptied and cupboards being thrown open echoing down the stairwell but it didn't bother either of them.

“Fucking hell, our son is pretty fucking awesome, isn’t he?” Louis said with the biggest grin, letting himself be hugged by Harry. “Best kid ever, we’re so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Harry began softly, kissing Louis’ lips. “You chose me, you chose me to share this with. Believe me Lou when I say that I never take a day with you two for granted.”

“I know baby, I know. Love you. Now let’s go and watch Jake before he packs everything in Tesco bags and we have to do the whole lot again.” Harry just laughed until Louis turned around with a serious face, and Harry stopped abruptly, realising Louis was being entirely serious. They headed upstairs and into the hell that was packing up their seven year old son’s bedroom for the big move.

*****

“How have I accumulated so much shit?” Louis moaned as he sat in the middle of the living room, sorting through piles of things on the floor into boxes. He picked up an old magazine, sighing as he threw it in the direction of the pile they were throwing out. He hated having to get rid of things but he wanted to start afresh with the new house. They’d already gone out and bought most of the furniture, having it delivered over the next few days as their mums had kindly offered to wait in, keen to nosy about, Louis was sure.

They’d chosen sofas, gorgeous grey squishy ones that Louis absolutely loved. He could curl up in the corner and still have lots of space around him, it was perfect for relaxing on and he couldn’t wait to spend evenings in with his boys on it. They’d bought a new bed together, and Jacob had chosen one too. Harry had insisted on paying for everything and Louis had relented, realising it was pointless arguing because Harry would probably just do it anyway, and given that they were getting married, it seemed a silly thing to start an argument over.

Harry was sitting flicking through some of Louis’ photo albums as he carefully piled them into boxes. He was marvelling over photos of Jacob as a baby, laughing at some of the cute images, almost being moved to tears by others. Louis looked so young in most of the pictures, but somehow seemed right at home with the tiny little boy in his arms. Harry sighed again, wishing he could have been part of their lives then, had seen them both grow into the people they were today.

“I can’t wait for us to have a baby, you know,” he mused quietly, Louis smiling softly over at him. Since they’d first talked about the idea of having a child together in Jamaica, it had been replaying over and over in Harry’s mind. He wanted a baby with Louis, someone they could raise together, bring into their family to make them complete. He’d had a few ideas about how he wanted to go about it, but he knew they needed to sit down when they had more time and talk about it properly, that it wasn’t something they could decide on a whim. “I mean, I get we have to wait a while, that we aren’t ready just yet. But someday, I’d love that. I really would.”

“Me too, love,” Louis said, getting up off the floor and sitting down next to Harry on the sofa, smiling down at the photos. “God, looking at these makes it feel like it was just yesterday. It was hard, you know. Being on my own and raising him. No-one to share the sleepless nights with, no-one to help change the wet sheets when he had an accident, no-one to switch with when he had his bad colic. Looking back, all I have are good memories but at the time, it was fucking hard.”

“You have me now,” Harry said softly, reaching a hand across to hold Louis’. “I wanna be the one to help you with aLl that stuff this time around, Lou. You won’t ever have to go through it alone, I promise.” He kissed his fiancé softly, bringing the tattooed skin to his lips and pressing against it gently too. “Forever, I mean that. Whatever you need me for, I’m here.”

“Love you,” Louis whispered, squeezing his hand gently as their fingers slipped together once more. He got up and went back to his pile of things to sort through, working quickly as he was keen to get the job done so they could load up the moving van they’d hired in the morning. Harry had said he could pay people to come and do the job for them, but Louis was keen to do it himself. He’d never moved house, and wanted to feel like he was in control of it somehow.

Harry knew he was getting a bit twitchy about leaving the house he’d bought all those years ago, the house he’d raised his son in, and was trying to be as understanding as he could be. However, he didn't have the same qualms about leaving his own house. Yes, it was a beautiful home and was aesthetically pleasing but he didn't have any memories of it he particularly wanted to hold on to. He was more excited to move into their new family home, to put their own stamp on it and make it theirs. They’d already discussed the new decor, purchasing tins of paint and new bedding, cushions and throws for all the rooms, and Harry just couldn’t wait to get going and making it theirs.

He sighed at the mess Louis was making, and scooped up a pile of papers, frowning as a few fluttered down and underneath the sofa. He put them into the black bag he’d got ready and bent down, shoving his hand under the sofa and retrieving the bits he’d dropped. His fingers brushed up against something hard and he grabbed at it, pulling it out. It was a black leather book, and he looked puzzled as he turned it over in his hands, cracking open the cover. He recognised Louis’ handwriting straight away, and as he went to ask about it, Louis squeaked and jumped up, snatching the book from him.

“What the fuck?” Harry said, rubbing his fingers where Louis had almost pinched him in his eagerness to get the book. “What is it, Lou? Why’d you snatch it?”

“It’s private,” Louis insisted, cuddling the book to his chest now. He could see Harry looked a little hurt by that, and sighed, nervously fiddling with the string hanging out of the bottom pages, marking his place. “Sorry babe. I just, well, I never share my stuff, not this stuff anyway. I write, a bit. Poems, words, you might call them lyrics perhaps? It’s shit, really it is, but I like it, find it quite peaceful.”

“I bet it’s not shit, love. If it comes from the heart, it can never be shit. Can I take a look? Only if you want me to, I don’t want to pry-”

Before he could change his mind, Louis thrust the book at Harry before he started stacking his things in another plastic box, not wanting to watch Harry judging his work. He kind of thought Harry wouldn’t want to be honest since he loved him, and would probably think anything Louis did was good. He filled one box, closed the lid, and as he went to lift it and take it out into the hallway to join the others, Harry grabbed his wrist, glancing up at him from under his eyelashes.

“Baby, some of this is really good,” he said, tapping one of the pages with his fingertip. “I really like this. There’s something really, I dunno, pure about it.” Louis leaned over and read the words, smiling to himself when he realised Harry had pointed out the bit he was most proud of himself. He’d written it just before they’d gone to Jamaica, on one of the afternoons Jacob had taken Harry out to see Anne, and he’d been thinking of Harry when he wrote the words.

“Can we try something?” Harry said, jumping up and running for the stairs, going up as quietly as he could before returning to the sitting room, acoustic guitar in his hand. He started strumming a tune, something mid-tempo and Louis recognised it as something Harry had been working on for a while. “I’ve had this tune in my head for a while. I haven’t been able to write anything to go with it but I think this might just work…”

He set Louis’ journal out next to him on the sofa, strumming confidently with his pick over the strings, starting to sing softly. Louis had only written what amounted to a first verse and perhaps a bridge and chorus, but the way Harry was moulding it all together sounded perfect. He got shivers as he listened to his fiancé sing, mind racing with the thought that this could be a perfect song.

 _Make a little conversation, so long I've been waiting_   
_To let go of myself and feel alive_   
_So many nights I thought it over, told myself I kind of liked ‘em_ _  
_ _But there was something missing in their eyes_

 _I was stumbling_   
_Looking in the dark with an empty heart_   
_But you say you feel the same_ _  
_ _Could we ever be enough? Baby we could be enough_

 _And it's alright_   
_Calling out for somebody to hold tonight_   
_When you're lost, I'll find a way, I'll be your light_   
_You'll never feel like you're alone_ _  
_ _I'll make this feel like home_

Harry kept strumming after the last few words, and Louis just sat, amazed at what Harry had created so easily. He stopped, placing the guitar down on the floor and facing Louis.

“Sweetheart, your words are perfect. I… god. It’s never come to me like that before, a song, I mean. Do you think you could have a go at writing more, making a second verse perhaps? I just, I think this could be something special, Lou.”

Louis nodded shyly. He grabbed his notebook and starting jotting as Harry picked at the strings, playing familiar melodies from his songs, singing under his breath, filling the room with his deep voice. Louis looked up occasionally, smiling to himself at the fact he was getting a private concert all of his own, and at how much better Harry sounded in a room like this compared to a huge venue, in a booming microphone with people screaming around him. He picked his feet up and rested them comfortably in Harry’s lap as he jotted down ideas.

“It’s about you, you know,” he said, making Harry’s gaze avert in his direction. “The words I wrote, it’s you. You’re home for me. This was even before we got engaged. I’ve always thought it. It’s always been easy between us, even when we just friends, getting to know each other. You were just such a nice person, I knew I wanted to get to know you, to be something to you. I really didn't think you’d fall in love with me, Haz. But now, you’re my home, and you’re where I want to be. That’s where I got the idea for the song.” He handed over the notebook, showing Harry the scrawled and crossed out mess that was his second verse.

 _“So hot that I couldn't take it, wanna wake up and see your face_   
_And remember how good it was being here last night_   
_Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in_ _  
_ _It was there, I saw it in your eyes”_

Harry smiled and sang the chorus from before, coming in straight after with this second verse, skipping easily into the small bridge Louis had written. This time though, Louis joined in with the chorus, harmonising easily with Harry’s voice in his much softer one. Harry’s eyes flew open and he allowed his own voice to fade away as Louis shut his eyes, singing every word with such passion and feeling, it sent a shiver down Harry’s spine.

 _“And it's alright_   
_Calling out for somebody to hold tonight_   
_When you're lost, I'll find a way, I'll be your light_   
_You'll never feel like you're alone_ _  
_ _I'll make this feel like home”_

“Oh my god,” Harry breathed out as Louis rasped out the final line, eyes fluttering open to stare into Harry’s. He shoved the guitar to the floor and pulled Louis onto his lap, hands resting on his waist as they just stared at each other for a moment. “Your voice, Lou. Why have you never sung for me before, like that?” Louis shrugged, cheeks burning with embarrassment at Harry’s praise and enthusiasm for his singing. He knew he’d always been able to hold a tune, enjoying drunken karaoke himself once or twice but he’d never sung like that. He had felt vulnerable, but somehow, it was a bit of him he wanted Harry to see.

“I get nervous when I sing,” Louis explained. “I don’t mind belting out tunes in the car with Jake. He isn’t judging me, or thinking what a prat I sound like. But when I sing, I tend to get lost in the words, the meaning of it, and I get really moved. Like, to tears sometimes.” He knew his cheeks were red, and he let Harry run a thumb over his cheekbone softly, listening carefully to every word. “But that felt right, to sing with you. That melody is gorgeous, the way- oh, I don’t know how to explain it. But it’s beautiful, Harry.”

“Would you record it with me?” Harry asked, eyes earnest as he tried to gauge Louis’ reaction to his proposition. “You don’t have to sing main vocals, just those harmonies you came out with. I don’t even have to credit you if you don’t want. But I’d love to get you in the studio with me and see what we can do with it. You’d get full writing credits and stuff babe, if we ever chose to release it. What do you say?”

Louis pretended to think about it, although he already knew the answer in his mind. His heart was thudding wildly, and he felt far too excited at the thought of making a song about his fiancé with said fiancé, perhaps even putting it out there for the world to see. “I would fucking love that,” he said with a huge grin, and surged forwards, kissing Harry deeply, feeling himself circle his hips unwittingly, grinding down in Harry’s lap. “Take me to bed?”

Harry nodded, and without breaking the kiss Louis had just started again, he stood up, grabbing under Louis’ bum to support him as he carried him towards the stairs, feeling his cock twitch at the thought of being intimate with Louis again. He just couldn’t seem to get enough of this man, and groaned when Louis pulled off, kissing down to his neck and sucking a deep love bite into the skin there, for everyone to see. He knew once his small tour started in the summer, he’d have to tell Louis to lay off the obvious marks, but there was something about going out in public with Louis’ bites on him that he secretly loved.

He laid Louis down, and started undoing the buttons of the shirt he’d had on all day, watching as Louis yanked his t-shirt over his head, laying back down on the bed in just his joggers, his hip bones jutting out and looking quite obscene just above the waistband of his joggers, his bulge clearly obvious by now. Louis was palming himself as he watched Harry stripped naked, not caring about his nudity as always, and pushed his hand down harder, making himself moan loudly at the friction.

“Want you on top,” Harry mumbled and Louis nodded, letting Harry lay down next to him and straddling his hips with ease. Their bodies seemed to fit together so perfectly somehow, and Louis couldn’t wait for them both to start christening the rooms of their new house. Louis made quick work of opening Harry up for him, kissing him to keep him silent as Jacob was sleeping down the hall. It had taken quite a while to get the boy to sleep that night, knowing moving day was now only a few days away, and Jacob was too excited about it. He was upset he’d be staying with Robin for the move, but Louis had promised he’d bring Jacob back to their house one last time before they left for good.

Louis stood up and quickly pushed down his joggers, Harry groaning when he realised Louis wasn’t wearing any underwear. His cock popped free, nudging against Harry’s own as he settled between his legs, leaning over to kiss him. He kept kissing as he pushed inside Harry’s body, the pair moaning as they found their rhythm, moving together with slow, deep thrusts that Louis knew Harry loved. Louis loved their sex life, loved that they could vary things from hot, quick blowjobs to rough sex, Harry begging Louis to pull his hair as he took him from behind, to this, making love, showing each other how much they meant to one another. He’d probably never admit it, but times like these were Louis’ favourite.

“Love you babe,” he mumbled as their lips met again, kissing softly and slowly as their bodies rocked together, Louis touching Harry from pretty much head to toe. Harry’s legs came up around Louis’ waist then, holding him there as Louis rocked gently, his cock grazing Harry’s prostate with each movement. Harry was whining deep in his throat, a sound that reverberated deep inside Louis, and he just wanted more, wanted to make Harry his in any way that he could. “Gonna marry you, make you mine, gonna love you forever.”

“Fuck, yeah, want that, want you-” Harry said, digging his heels in to Louis’ back to bring him in even deeper, groaning as Louis’ hips pushed against his ass, Louis buried fully inside him now. “Fill me up Lou, want you to finish in me, please-” Louis nodded and starting thrusting a little faster, bending down to whisper words in Harry’s ear as they rocked themselves to their finish, Louis’ hand wrapped around Harry’s cock as they came together, muffling their cries with hungry lips, gasping as their orgasms ripped through them.

“Shit, that was good,” Louis said as he pulled out carefully, Harry wincing at the empty feeling and Louis’ come seeping out of him and onto the sheet below. “I’m a lucky guy, you know.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Harry mused carefully, leaning over to cuddle up to Louis’ warm body, grabbing the duvet and covering them both with it, despite the fact he knew Louis would be getting up to have a shower soon, no doubt dragging Harry with him. “I was serious about the song, Lou. I want you to sing it with me, and I want to release it. I’ve got an idea, but let me see if it’s possible before I tell you, okay?” Louis nodded, trusting Harry would tell him when he was ready.

“Home,” Louis said softly, Harry looking up at his fiancé with a questioning look. “Home, that’s what it’s called. The song we wrote. Home.”

“Home, it is,” Harry said with a smile, and they kissed again, sealing the deal.

 

*****

 

“Think that’s the last one,” Zayn called, setting down the heavy box on the floor, cracking his back as he stood up and stretched it out. It had been a long day but everyone felt relieved that the boxes were now in Harry and Louis’ new home.

“Thanks Z, come through to the kitchen,” Louis called as he retreated down the hallway, in the direction of the huge new kitchen he had. Harry had opened a couple of bottles of rather expensive champagne and was pouring a little into each glass. They had wanted to thank everyone for their help today, and they all stood around the large wooden table they’d bought, handing out glasses to everyone, one full of apple juice for Jacob who had just been bought over by Robin, much to his delight.

Harry held his glass up, taking Louis’ hand in his as he started to speak to their gathered friends and family. He took a quick look around, smiling at the familiar faces. Some he had known all of his life, but there were others who had only come into his life thanks to their connection to Louis but already Harry felt he could trust these people, that they were becoming his second family.

“Thank you all so much for your help today. Lou and I really couldn’t have done it without you. We’re so pleased to finally be in our new home, and while we’re sad to say goodbye to our old places, we’re excited to create lots of memories in our new house together-”

“Oi oi!” shouted Stan, grunting when he received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Liam, quickly shutting him up. Louis blushed, knowing exactly what Stan was hinting at, and kept his gaze on the ground, unable to look anyone in the eye at that moment. He really didn't need his mum or step-dad to think about him and Harry having sex in their new house, no thanks.

“So cheers to everyone who has helped us, we love you all, and you’ll all be the first we invite over for our house-warming party. Cheers!” They all raised their glasses and a chorus of cheers rang out around the room, people clinking glasses and sipping at their drinks. Jacob walked slowly over to Louis and Harry, slipping his hand into Harry’s as they all stood together, surveying their new kitchen, listening to the chatter of the people in their home.

“I love our new house, Dad,” Jacob said to Harry, who bent down and picked him up, setting him down on the counter between him and Louis. “I think it’s going to be fun living here, all three of us.” He beckoned them both closer and whispered quietly with a big, cheeky grin - “All three Tomlinson’s in the Tomlinson house.” Louis and Harry gave each other a shy smile, and nodded to themselves, pleased Jacob was managing to keep their secret so far. They still hadn’t divulged their engagement to anyone except their son, and they planned on announcing it soon enough, but tonight wasn’t the time.

*****

 

Eventually, everyone cleared out, and Louis had managed to find pyjamas for the three of them, although he rolled his eyes as Harry scoffed at the t-shirt and shorts Louis had handed him, whipping off his clothes and parading around in his boxers as he helped Jacob get ready for bed, giving the boy a face wash and watching as he brushed his teeth, Louis quickly getting some sheets onto both beds.

They read Jacob a story and kissed him goodnight, leaving the landing light on as they were sure Jacob would be scared waking up in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar environment. Harry and Louis were now stretched out in their own bed, legs tangled under the thin quilt Louis had found, and he had his head resting on Harry’s bare chest, thumbing gently over Harry’s anchor tattoo as they held hands.

“Are you going to wear a wedding ring?” Louis asked quietly. He knew Harry was a fan of jewellery, but since they’d foregone engagement rings, he was wondering if Harry would rather not wear a wedding band either. “I mean, I don’t mind if you don’t, was just asking …”

“Of course I’m going to wear a wedding ring!” Harry said, sounding a bit scandalised that Louis had even had to ask. “I’m hoping I’ll never, ever have to take it off once you put it on my finger. You’re going to wear one too, right?” Louis nodded, smiling up at Harry. “Good. Want to wear it on stage, and tell everyone you’re mine. You still happy with us keeping the engagement secret for a while?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Louis said. “I like the idea that it’s just us who knows. Would love to put something out there though, something we understand but no-one else will.” He sighed slightly and let his eyes close, feeling his body ache with exhaustion after a busy day. He felt Harry roll over slightly, watching as he grabbed his phone from the side. “God, we have so much to do tomorrow, and then it’s back to work on Monday. Christ, I need more time off, love.”

“I know,” Harry chuckled. “But I’m happy to unpack stuff while you and Jake are at school. Look, how’s this?” He held up his phone, showing Louis the tweet he’d just composed. It showed off both of their engagement tattoos but to anyone else, they’d just look like co-ordinating tattoos, something a couple might get. Louis smiled softly when he read the caption and nodded, telling Harry quietly to post it.

Just as it had whizzed off into cyberspace, their bedroom door creaked slowly open and Jacob dragged his feet as he came into the room, his sky blue fleece blanket draped over his head and around his shoulders, thumb in his mouth. He looked uncertain and stood there nervously, staring at his dads.

“Can’t sleep, love?” Harry asked, and when Jacob shook his head, he held out an arm, silently telling Jacob to come closer. He lifted the boy up and over his body, Louis already having shuffled back to make room for their son. Jacob snuggled with his bum against Louis’ tummy, and his hand in Harry’s. “Don’t worry, sleep with us tonight. It’s hard, the first night in a new house. I know when I sleep in hotels, I don’t sleep well unless you or Daddy are with me.”

“I felt lonely, and it was weird not seeing my things around the room,” Jacob said sleepily, his eyes closed by now as he was comforted by the presence of both men around him. “I’m tired though. Love you Daddy, love you Dad.”

“We love you babe,” Louis said, kissing the back of his son’s head, secretly loving how Jacob was seeking comfort in his father now. “Sweet dreams. Love you Haz. So happy we’re here, and we’re together doing this.”

“Love you too, baby. Honestly, I’ve never been happier. This house is perfect, just like you two.”

“Sap,” Louis said, smiling and reaching across to touch Harry in some way, brushing his fingers over his fiancé’s wrist. “Next step, getting married I guess. Bloody hell, never would have thought a year ago I’d be buying a house and getting married. You’ve changed my whole life, you know that?”

“Same here, Lou. Get to sleep love, you know Jacob will be up early, especially since he’s in here. Love you, night night.” They both arched up enough to give each other a quick kiss goodnight and settled back down onto their pillows, ready for the first night of forever in their new forever home together.

 


	23. What I Never Knew I Always Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry takes Louis into unfamiliar territory. Louis and Harry get a taste of what it would be like to have more than one child in the house, and muddle through!

“I’m not you, Harry!” Louis shouted in anger at the top of his voice, chucking his set of headphones down onto the counter. “I wasn’t born to do this, okay? It’s hard for me. I don’t get it, and I’m just fucking it up. Do it your fucking self!”

Harry stood with wide eyes as Louis wrenched open the door to the recording booth and stormed off down the corridor. He threw the sound engineer an apologetic look and skulked over to the armchair in the corner of the room, sitting down and putting his head in his hands for a minute. He knew recording music wasn’t easy. He’d done it enough himself, but he hadn’t expected Louis to take his constructive criticism so badly. He sighed and stood back up, heading out of the door, hands shoved down low in the back pockets of his jeans.

He walked up and down the corridors for a bit, and eventually came to the conclusion Louis must be outside. He pulled his sunglasses down onto his face as he walked out into the daylight, squinting slightly as he looked for the figure of his fiancé. After a brief jog around the car park, he spotted Louis on a bench in the large garden behind the studio. He groaned to himself when he saw a tendril of smoke drift into the air, and headed over, determined to keep calm.

He took a seat next to Louis, and waited patiently while he smoked his cigarette. He knew Louis had smoked before he’d become a dad, choosing to stop when Jacob was born as he didn't want his son around the smell and danger, but he still dabbled occasionally when he’d had a few to drink, or in times of stress. Louis ground the butt out on the floor and left it there, Harry knowing he was going to get rid of it once it had cooled down. He ignored how good Louis looked blowing the breath of smoke out of his lungs, and watched as he reached into his pocket and grabbed a chewing gum. He offered Harry one, the younger man shaking his head, and turning to face Louis.

“I’m sorry,” Harry began, wanting to get in first, knowing Louis would need to hear his apology. He reached out a hand, relieved when Louis let him take his, smiling softly at him. “I forget that you haven’t done this, babe. I was just trying to help, and I know now I probably sounded like a right twat. Forgive me, and come back in, please?”

Louis sighed and gave Harry a bit of a strange expression. “I don’t know, Haz. I don’t think I can do this. I mean, I’m more than happy to be the guy with the words or whatever, but behind a mic? I’m not sure I belong here. You do, you’re made for this. Me, I’m just Jake’s dad and a TA. I don’t-”

“I thought we’d stopped with the fucking I’m just this and that,” Harry said, withdrawing his hand and folding his arms. “How many times do I have to tell you you’re not just anything? Right now, Lou, if I’m being totally honest, you’re being a stubborn headed ass. If the kids in your class wanted to give up on the first go at something, would you let them?” He stared at Louis for a second before he continued. “Exactly. Of course you wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t either. Let me come in with you, we’ll do a bit together then I’ll step out, let you try again. If you really don’t like it after that, we’ll give up for now. Deal?”

“You’re such a sanctimonious knob head sometimes, you know that?” Louis said, getting to his feet, being held in place by Harry’s hands on his wrists.

“Well, it’s a good job that you love me then,” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis quickly kissed him. Harry sighed at the taste of tobacco on Louis’ lips and tongue, something he shouldn’t like but did since it was so Louis. “And no more cigs please, you know Jake hates to smell them on you. I’m not keen either. Gotta look after those lungs, want you around for lots of years, boo.”

“Fine,” Louis said, rolling his eyes as they headed back towards the building, hand in hand again. “I don’t wanna fuck this up for you, Haz.” There it was, the truth Harry had been waiting for. He stayed silent, knowing if he did, Louis was more likely to open up to him. “Your music is so good. Like, I listen to it, to you when you sing at home and it’s so natural, so easy for you. Me? I don’t sound right, I can’t get that stupid note at the end of the chorus, it’s fucking frustrating…”

“You’ll get it. Trust me. You got it when we sang with just my guitar earlier. Practise til you get it, okay? We’ve got another two hours in the studio before we have to go and get the kids.” Harry held the door open for Louis to pass by, Louis smiling at the act. Louis stopped Harry though, just before they walked into their studio.

“I’m sorry I shouted, and I’m sorry I swore. I hate it when I get like that, there’s no excuse for speaking to you how I did. I know you were just trying to help, but you know how I get when people try to help me. I’m gonna try my best to listen though, babe. I’m sorry, and I love you.” Harry smiled and pecked Louis’s soft lips for a few seconds.

“Love you too. Now come on, let’s do this.”

They headed back into their room, and Louis smiled sheepishly at the sound engineer, who wasn’t phased at all. He’d worked with far bigger divas than Louis, people who did this for a living, so he was happy to cut Louis some slack.

Louis and Harry headed into the booth together, both slipping headphones over their ears. The track began to play from the beginning and Harry sang softly into the microphone, ready to help cue Louis in. The chorus began and Louis started well, harmonising perfectly with Harry’s deep voice, but when he hit a bum note, he groaned and slapped his hands on the walls. Harry stepped over and put his hands on Louis’ shoulders, before indicating to Levi, their sound engineer, to skip the track back. They waited again for the right part of the song and sang again, this time Louis hit the right notes.

The song moved into the second verse and bridge, and this time, instead of staring at the microphone as they sang together, Louis and Harry sang to each other, a microphone positioned between them as they harmonised effortlessly, Louis growing in confidence as the song came to its end.

“Hey! So much better babe, proud of you!” Harry said, kissing Louis quickly as they slid their headphones down and around their necks. Levi gave them a thumbs up. Harry knew it wasn’t perfect, and it would take quite a few more sessions to get perfectly right, to weave in the melodies Harry was coming up with on guitar, but for a basic start, it was good. Harry led Louis out of the booth, and they watched together as Levi started the song over, Harry’s voice filling the room.

Louis always found there to be something relaxing and beautiful about Harry’s voice, his tone and the way he sang every word he wrote with such emotion. He closed his eyes as the first bridge built slowly into the chorus, and as he heard their vocals played back together for the first time, he gasped and his eyes flew open, locking with Harry’s. There was something about the soft raspiness of Louis’ voice paired with Harry’s deeper, grainier one that just worked, a bit like they themselves just worked, somehow.

Louis crept his fingertips across Harry’s thigh, taking his fingers, lacing them gently together as they listened to Harry’s guitar strumming to an end. Louis listened as Levi explained, with Harry interjecting ideas every now and then, about how they could build the backing tracks with a loud drum beat, keeping the guitar strumming as the main thread running through the whole song. Louis admitted he found it hard to imagine, but already he was excited to see what Harry and his team would come up with.

An hour later, they were finished, and Louis felt he’d never get enough of hear Harry use his beautiful falsetto over the bridges, the ease with which he hit those notes filling him with such pride. Harry arranged for Levi to come to another session at the studio with him and his band, promising Louis he could come along to a later session when they’d laid down the track for him to come and sing over with Harry again. Instead of being filled with dread as he had been earlier that day, Louis just felt excited about the prospect, and chatted excitedly about it as they drove back to Jay’s house.

Somehow, Louis had agreed to him and Harry taking Ernest, Doris and Jacob home to their new house for the night. Jay and Dan had been invited out with friends for dinner, and while the older girls were okay to stay at home alone, Jay was a bit nervous about leaving the youngest twins there overnight, and Louis had piped up before he realised what he was letting himself in for.

“Darlings!” Jay cried as she threw open her front door, hugging and kissing Louis before doing the same to Harry, hurrying them both in to the living room. They all smiled fondly at the sight that greeted them in the sitting room. Jacob had made some sort of blanket fort over all the furniture with what liked every blanket Jay owned, and currently had it lit up with a torch, Ernest and Doris listening intently to the older boy as he told them some story he’d heard at school, little squeals and giggles breaking his narrative every now and then.

Louis and Harry followed her through to the kitchen, accepting her offers of tea readily.

“You sure you’re okay with taking all three of them tonight?” Jay asked, and Harry nodded eagerly, grabbing Louis’ hand under the table. Louis was staring out of the window, watching Dan kick a football around with the older twins, laughing loudly  with them, and Louis loved how easily Dan had become such an integral piece of their family.

“Yeah, definitely,” Harry said as he blowed over the top of his tea, trying to cool it slightly. He never understood how Louis drank it straight from the kettle if he was honest. “Be good practise for us, I think it’s going to be fun!” Jay’s eyes widened at Harry’s slip, and he hurried to correct himself. “Shit, I mean, um…. Help me Louis!”

Louis laughed, eyes sparkling and crinkling at the corners, watching Harry desperately try to dig himself out the hole he’d dug. “We’ve talked about it,” he shrugged to Jay, who bit her lip, trying to keep her smile at bay. “Not now, we’re not ready just yet but one day… I’d like to have a kid with Haz. Neither of us is getting any younger-”

“Speak for yourself!” Harry elbowed Louis then, pouting at him.

“ _Neither_ of us is getting younger,” Louis continued, ignoring his childish fiancé. “So yeah, eventually Mum, we’re looking to expand our family. And no, no wedding talk just yet so don’t even go there.” Louis hated lying to her but they still hadn’t found the right moment to tell their parents they were engaged. They’d been back from Jamaica for two weeks now, and honestly, they were just grateful Jacob had still managed to keep the news to himself for this long. They had talked about it, getting married, and had a few ideas, but nothing was set in stone just yet.

Since Harry had posted the tweet of their new tattoos, speculation had been rife on social media about their meaning, why they’d chosen to get something so intrinsically entwined with the others, but they’d stayed quiet on the matter, only tweeting out their usual updates. Louis’ follower count had climbed significantly in the past few weeks, and he was enjoying all the lovely things he read on there, choosing to ignore the negativity, not wanting to fuel the minds of those who couldn’t be kind.

“Well,” Jay said, taking Harry’s hand then across the table. “I think you’ll both be great parents to a new baby, however you choose to go about that. You’re so wonderful with Jake, and I think you deserve this, to have a baby together as well. We’d better go and get the kids ready, our ride will be here in about half an hour. Their bags are by the door Lou, and their car seats are in the porch.”

Louis nodded and headed off outside to install the car seats in Harry’s car. He shuffled Jacob’s into the middle seat, and put the twins high-backed boosters either side, smiling at the sight of the three seats in his family car. It felt right, somehow, and he was excited for the day he and Harry would have more than one child of their own with them. As he walked back in, he caught his mum’s eyes and his gaze fell to Harry. He was inside the blanket fort now, a twin sat on each thigh as he listened to Jacob waxing lyrical about something or other. He and Jay just stared at each other for a minute, the sight of Harry with his siblings warming his heart, flooding his mind with images he so badly wanted to be true.

“Right then little people, we’d better get going home! Ernie, go and kiss Mummy goodbye, and you too Doris. Jake, you can come and hug Nanny too.” Harry easily took charge and Louis hung back, enjoying watching Harry in this role for once. Jay gave her children kisses and cuddles and watched as Harry scooped both of them up, taking them out to the car, chatting to them as he strapped them into their car seats, Jacob hanging back a bit waiting for a free bit of space to wriggle into the car.

“You’ve got a good one there, Lou,” Jay said softly as she hugged and thanked Louis again, making him promise to call her if there were any problems. “He’s just such a natural with them. Have you arranged all of the tour stuff for the summer yet?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, I think he’s got the rough travel plan done, and the venues are all booked up. Tickets are going on sale next week which will obviously cause mass panic online, but hey. We just need to sort our travel and stuff but it shouldn’t be a problem.” He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face then at the thought of touring with Harry this time around. Harry had been insistent that he wouldn’t be travelling across the world for long periods of time without his children again, so they’d decided to spend the summer holidays on the road, six weeks of travel across Europe, Australia and Asia. Louis couldn’t wait.

“Thanks again Lou, bye Harry! See you tomorrow love, we’ll come and pick the babies up, okay?” Louis slid into the passenger seat next to Harry and wound the window down, smiling and waving at his mum as Harry reversed the car out, pointing it in the direction of home.

*****

“Dinner’s ready!” Louis called, scooping out a spoon of beans on all three children’s plates, listening as bare feet slapped on the wooden floors as the kids ran into the kitchen. Jacob took his usual seat, and Doris and Ernest waited patiently for Harry and Louis to lift them into their booster seats so they could see properly. Louis had cut the dinners up already, wanting them to be cool and he set them down in front of everyone, working with Harry to dish out cups of water and tomato sauce.

“Yummy Loulou,” said Ernie, shoving a piece of sausage into his mouth, tomato sauce dropping down his t-shirt in a big blob. Louis just sighed and carried on eating, smiling fondly at Harry as he helped Doris with a rather large piece of sausage, patiently cutting it up for the small girl as they talked about their day, and which film they would all watch before bed.

Harry caught his eye across the table and raised his eyebrows at Louis, knowing exactly what Louis was thinking as he was thinking the same thing. He loved the hustle and bustle of a busy kitchen filled with children, a big family of their own, and he couldn’t wait. He’d spoken about it with a few people at the studio the other day, how much he loved being settled down with Louis and Jacob, and when one of them had asked if he wanted his own children, he’d nodded, saying he wanted everything with Louis. They’d mocked him a bit, saying he was young to be settling down, but Harry had ignored them. He knew what was right for him, and it was definitely Louis and Jacob.

Harry offered to clear the table and wash up as Louis took the children to get cleaned up and ready for the film. He listened in as he heard Jacob arguing with Louis over what movie to watch, and when the little boy had snapped back rudely, Louis marched him into the kitchen, sitting him down on a chair and crouching in front of him, a serious look on his face.

“You don’t get to speak to me like that, Jacob. Doris and Ernest are our guests, and they get to have a say in the movie too. You can sit there on time out for 3 minutes while Dad finishes the dishes, and then when he says, you can come back in and join us. Do you understand?” Jacob stared at the floor but nodded, sitting quietly as Harry piled the plates and cups back into the cupboards. He felt a little surprised at Jacob’s attitude, but it was a just a factor of growing up he knew they’d have to contend with sooner or later.

Jacob looked over to him, and Harry felt his heart ache as he saw Jacob’s eyes brimming with tears. Harry headed over and picked up the little boy, setting him on his leg as he began to speak.

“What do you think you need to do, my love?” He asked, stroking Jacob’s little arm softly, not wanting to undermine Louis in anyway, he knew they had to set rules and they needed to be stuck to. Jacob sniffed and looked up at Harry.

“I need to say sorry to Daddy and to Ernie and Dotty because I was rude. I didn't mean to, I just forgot that they should get to choose the film. I’m sorry.” Harry hugged him tightly and set him down on the ground, holding hands as they headed back to the sitting room, smiling at the sight of Louis with a sibling on either side of him under a blanket, waiting for the last two boys to join them before they got the film started.

“Sorry Daddy, for being rude. And I’m sorry Ernie and Dotty too, you should choose the film. Please may I watch it with you?” They all nodded and Harry settled on the other end of the sofa, grinning at Louis as Jacob cuddled up to his side, Doris reaching out to hold his hand as well. Louis hit the button on the remote and they sat silently as the familiar movie ran, the three children dozing off well before the end.

“They’re all asleep, Lou,” Harry whispered over, and when he didn't get a reply, he leant forward slightly and was shocked to see Louis sound asleep as well. He carefully got up and laid Jacob down on the sofa, covering him up, and then picked up the twins, one in each arm and quietly went upstairs to the spare room. The twins started to stir slightly so he smiled as he laid them out on the bed. He headed to the bag Louis had already left in the room, fishing out their pyjamas and clean nighttime nappies for the pair.

“You gonna let me get you ready for bed?” Harry asked in a soft voice, and both children sleepily nodded and smiled at him, staying quiet as Harry helped strip them out of their clothes into fresh nappies for bed and eventually into their pyjamas. He held their hands as he led them into the bathroom, helping brush both of their teeth and combed their curls before he laid them down into one bed, knowing they preferred to sleep together at the moment. He kissed both of their foreheads and sat down on the floor next to the bed, reading the bedtime story Jay had packed.

“Alright darlings, sleep tight,” he whispered, kissing them again before he got up and left them to sleep, leaving the door open slightly so they wouldn’t be scared of the dark. He repeated the same thing with Jacob, changing him and tucking him into bed. There was no need for a story this time though as the little boy was out like a light, and Harry watched him for a few minutes as he slept before creeping back down stairs.

“Lou,” he said into the darkness, shaking Louis’ arm gently, trying to stir him. “Lou, babe, let’s go to bed, yeah?”

“Uhhhh what?” Louis mumbled groggily, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hands, suddenly sitting up and looking around him. “Where are the kids Harry? What’s going on?”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve put them all to bed.” Louis looked a bit astounded so Harry carried on for a moment. “I got Ernest and Doris into their pyjamas, and yes I remembered to change their nappies, then read them a story. When they were asleep I came and got Jake, but he barely woke up when I moved him so I left him to sleep. And now it’s your turn.” He stood and hooked an arm under Louis’ knees, the other around his back and lifted him with ease. Louis reached up a hand, bringing Harry’s face down for a kiss before he snuggled back against his chest, bumping slightly against Harry’s body as they descended the stairs.

"You did their nappies?" Louis said, a little surprised by that. He knew Harry wasn't squeamish with that sort of stuff, had helped change Jacob after his sickness and accidents too many times, but doing it with their son was one thing, but his siblings was another.

"I don't scare easily," Harry winked, hugging Louis closer as they descended the stairs. "Love looking after you all, I really do."

“Take such good care of me,” Louis mumbled, feeling so relaxed and at home in Harry’s arms.

Harry was silent for a moment as he stared at Louis as he stood in the doorway of their bedroom. He swallowed and leaned in to whisper into Louis’ ear. “Want me to take care of you now?” Louis looked up, heart already starting to race as he nodded, and he grabbed Harry’s face again, kissing him deeply as Harry stumbled into their room, kicking their door closed quietly behind him before he stopped. “Um, Lou, the kids are down the hall …”

“Harry, do you think people who have kids never have sex again? Come on, it’s fine, they’re asleep. We just have to be quiet, yeah? Take care of me baby, please?” Harry nodded and laid Louis out on the bed, making quick work of shedding both of their clothes, eventually climbing onto the bed on top of his fiance, grabbing Louis’ right wrist and kissing harshly at the tattoo. They both seemed to get off on the way they’d marked their bodies for each other in such a permanent way, and Harry especially seemed to kissing and biting at Louis’ tattoo when they had sex.

“Can I-” Louis just nodded, knowing what it was Harry was asking for. He parted his legs more and reached for the bottle of lube he knew was shoved between the pillows after they’d had some fun that morning when they’d woken up. They hadn’t had time for full sex but they’d certainly enjoyed the little bits they’d managed to do. He handed Harry the bottle, and gasped when Harry suddenly breached him gently with two fingers, already still a bit ready from this morning’s fun. “Shit, some warning might’ve been nice,” Louis mumbled, breathing deeply as his body stretched around Harry’s long fingers.

“Sorry sweetheart, let me kiss it better…” Harry said, shocking Louis as he ducked down and pressed light kisses around where his fingers were moving inside of him. Louis grabbed the pillow and rammed it over his own face, trying to muffle his moans as Harry teased him, kissing and licking everywhere, ignoring Louis’ hard cock which was desperate for attention by now. Louis slid his own hand down in lieu of Harry touching him and started to stroke as Harry pressed in a third finger.

Louis pulled at Harry’s hair, making him look up and arched his eyebrow, biting his lip at the same time. Harry understood and kissed Louis’ rim a few more times before coming up and coating his own cock in lube, lining up with Louis. He pushed forwards gently and continued until he’d bottom out, Louis reaching out and grabbing one of Harry’s hands as Harry started to gently rock his hips back and forth. They were both looking down at where they were joined, and Louis couldn’t help himself.

He reached up and grabbed Harry around the neck, pulling him down on top of him, making Harry’s cock slide deeper inside as he landed down on Louis, both groaning loudly. They stopped when they realised what they’d done and paused for a moment, listening out for any signal the kids were awake. When none came, Harry started to thrust again, this time kissing Louis the whole time.

“Love you Louis, can’t wait to have babies with you, raise a family,” he whispered, only pulling back from the kiss long enough to say those words before he kissed him again, their tongues dancing together as their bodies made love to each other, both a bit turned on from how they knew they had to keep quiet. Louis’ groans were kept quiet by Harry’s lips on his, moaning as his cock was rubbed by Harry’s stomach with each thrust due to how low his body was on top of his own, and he felt like he was close already.

“Babe, gonna come, just a bit-” Harry slid a hand down, pushing under Louis’ back a little and changing the angle slightly, making Louis want to cry out. It only took a few more thrusts until Louis was coming pretty much untouched between their bodies, Harry still chasing his own orgasm, his pace inside Louis still slow and deep. Louis was panting now, already a bit over sensitive but he continued to kiss Harry, swirling his tongue around Harry’s, trying to bite at his lip as he knew Harry liked.

“You know you’re my one, right? Only one for me,” Louis mumbled as Harry groaned at his words, thrusting harder by now,  Louis feeling the burn even more but he kept pulling Harry into kiss after kiss, knowing how much his fiancé was turned on and needing desperately to come. “Gonna be mine real soon babe, gonna be my Harry Tomlinson-”

“Fuck, Louis!” Harry cried as he came, pounding deep inside Louis as he released, panting hard, his stubble laden jaw rubbing against Louis as he kissed him deeply, trying so hard to keep quiet, neither really noticing the knocking of the headboard against the wall behind them. Harry stopped moving and slumped down on top of Louis, both bodies covered in sweat as they tried to catch their breaths, and let their spent bodies relax for a minute.

“Fucking hell I love you so much,” Harry muttered against Louis’ chest, kissing the tattoo over his collarbones lightly. “Need to shower but I really, really can’t be arsed.” Louis groaned, pushing Harry off him and then stood, wobbly legged as he wandered through to their ensuite. He had to admit he loved the perk of having their own bathroom, especially at times like this. They didn't have to grab clothes to sneak down the corridor, could just wander through straight from the bed and shower together, not needing to worry about being caught.

As much as he loved having his son and living the three of them in one house, it did kill their spontaneity a bit. There were a few times he and Harry had been tempted to get frisky in the kitchen or on the sofa when they thought Jacob was asleep, but they’d heard him moving about, and quickly aborted whatever they were up to. So whenever their mums (particularly Anne who absolutely loved having the little boy around) offered to babysit, Harry and Louis jumped at the chance. This weekend coming was one such time, Louis and Harry hosting a night at their house and he couldn’t wait.

He’d just stepped under the spray of the shower when the huge glass door slid to one side and Harry stepped in, kissing up against Louis’ neck.

“I’m tired, and I’m sore,” Louis moaned as Harry started sucking a love bite low on the back of his neck so it would be hidden with his shirt tomorrow. “No funny business you…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry mumbled, licking over where he’d left a mark. “Don’t see you trying to stop me…”

*****

Louis stirred, listening out for the sound of little people moving around, and frowned when he heard nothing. He rolled over, reaching out an arm for Harry but sat up when he came up empty, the sheet cold and bare beside him. He could see the sunlight streaming in through the edges of their blackout curtains, so he got up, tugging on a shirt he realised was Harry’s as it draped down his mid-thigh and wandered out of their bedroom, smiling as he heard giggles coming from the kitchen.

He crept downstairs, not wanting to disturb whatever Harry was up to, and he stood quietly in the doorway of their huge family kitchen, watching with wide eyes as Harry easily entertained all three children. Jacob was stood on his little step next to Harry at the worktop, whisking up what looked like pancake batter, a few blobs landing on the floor but Harry laid a gentle hand on Jacob’s arm, slowing him down slightly, not scolding, just encouraging.

Ernest and Doris were sat on their booster seats at the table, munching on pancakes that had already been cut up into little pieces, pots of blueberries and a squeezy bottle of syrup between them. They were feeding each other, babbling together in the way that they did, and Louis had never seen such a beautiful sight. He was filled with ideas of what it would be like to have more children with Harry, to wake up to this every morning, his family. He grabbed his iPhone from where he’d left it on the sideboard and took a photo of everyone, not quite believing he was so lucky that he got to see this. He sent his mum a photo, then sent one to Anne as well with a quick message promising to visit in the week after school.

“Hey gorgeous,” Harry called over his shoulder, Louis now walking into the room and kissing his brother and sister on the head, smiling down at them as they showed off the pieces of pancakes in their sticky hands. “Want pancakes? Me and Jake are just making a second lot.”

“Yeah, please,” Louis called, sitting down with the kids at the table, watching as Jacob listened intently to whatever Harry was telling him to do. A few minutes later, a plate of golden pancakes was put in front of him, Harry leaning down to kiss him before he helped Jacob down from his step and over to the table, the family all eating together now. Louis smiled to himself as he chewed, watching over his boys and his brother and sister as they ate.

“You okay?” Harry asked, reaching down and taking Louis’ hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. “Lou?”

“Yeah, just really happy,” He said with a shrug, letting Doris shove a blueberry between his lips with a giggle from the little girl. “Just, this is what I’ve always wanted, you know? Since I had Jacob, I wanted a family, a real one. Me and someone else, raising our kids, being happy together. You’ve given me that. I love you, and I love you for giving me that, what I always wanted.” Harry pecked his lips again, ignoring the giggles of the children around the table.

“Love you too.” Harry got up and grabbed a cloth, wiping the sticky hands and faces of the kids, letting them down the table as he started to clean up.

“How do you do it?” Louis questioned, putting the other blueberries away into the pot, and pushing the syrup bottle back into the cupboard. He saw Harry’s questioning look and explained. “You make this all look so easy. I mean, you’ve only been a dad for like a year now. Yet it seems easy for you. You just, I don’t know what it is. You look at home like this.”

“I am,” Harry grinned to him, stepping over to Louis and wrapping his arms around his waist, linking fingers behind his back. “I love this. I love my job, I do. I love singing and touring. But if I had to choose between that and this, it’d be this every single time Lou. Every time, it’ll always be you.”

“You soppy bastard,” Louis teased, letting Harry kiss him softly for a moment, only pulling back when he heard Jacob start to raise his voice at the younger kids. “Ah, interrupted again. You really want this over your glamorous lifestyle?”

“Every. Fucking. Time.” Harry said with a wide smile, dimple popping and heart full as he watched Louis turn around and stroll into the living room, hearing him parent the three children, nowhere else he’d ever want to be.


	24. Dirty Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob finds a new Harry :(
> 
> Louis and Harry invite the boys around for drinks and secrets are spilled...

“DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?!” Jacob screamed as he ran past Louis through the front door, something clutched in his hand as his little footsteps echoed down the hallway. Louis sighed and rolled his eyes at Zayn who had just dropped him off. He waved out of the window, knowing he’d be seeing his friend later that day anyway, and shut the door behind him, trying to find his son and fiancé. They were both in the sitting room, Jacob bouncing around far too energetically in front of a confused Harry.

“What have you got there love?” Louis asked, looking a little puzzled as he headed over, sitting down next to Harry, watching the little boy with a bewildered expression.

“I GOT DAD!” He screeched, and Louis shushed him, trying to get him to calm down. He eventually stopped bouncing and smiled at the pair, holding his arm out to show them what he had. It looked like a doll and Harry groaned in realisation, putting his hands over his face as Jacob laughed and Louis tried to work it all out. “I found Dad in the charity shop with Uncle Zayn!”

“It’s a doll of me… when I bought out the first album, they thought a Harry doll was a great idea… I thought they’d all been burnt or something…” Jacob looked horrified at the thought and clutched it tightly to his chest. “Apparently not though…”

“You were cheap Dad, only 50p! I used my pocket money to buy you!” Louis didn't even bother to hide his loud cackle at that, slapping his thigh at how excited Jacob looked at that revelation.

“50p?! I’m only worth 50p? What a joke.” Harry said, arms folded across his chest in indignation. “Well, you’ll look after me, won’t you love?” Jacob nodded eagerly and held the doll up next to Harry’s face, his little blue eyes flicking back and forth between the two.

“You’re prettier, Dad, love you!” he said before he dashed off upstairs, probably to pack his bags for Jay’s. Harry and Louis were hosting their first night in with their friends that night, and Jacob was very excited to be having a Saturday night sleepover with Jay, Dan and the kids. Louis was excited, having bought loads of junk food and beer, and they were planning to order pizzas in as well once everyone arrived.

 

 

“So my darling, you’re cheap then… guess the Gucci suits are all a ruse,” Louis teased, Harry trying his best not to rise to it. “I don’t mind if you’re cheap though babe, you’re my cheap man. You do realise he’s gonna take that doll everywhere, don’t you? Probably will tell everyone he’s got two Harry’s now…” Harry groaned and stood up, heading through to the kitchen, Louis trailing after him.

“Do you enjoy winding me up, Lou?” He asked as he prepared two cups of tea and a glass of squash for Jacob. “Are we feeding Jake or is your mum?”

“My mum is,” Louis answered, listening as Jacob bashed around upstairs, probably packing half of everything he owned for just one night, as was his want. “I’m looking forward to this, you know. The boys said they’re getting taxis over here so they can drink, is Niall alright coming on his own?”

“Yeah, he’s Mr Life and Soul, I promise you. Give him a few beers and he’ll be best mates with all of them,” Harry said, handing over Louis his ‘Best Dad Ever’ mug, pecking his lips as he took it.” Jacob came running back in then, doll still clutched in his hand, watching as Harry handed him his cup of squash. He pondered over what to do with the doll while he took it, and decided upon sticking the bottom half into the waistband of his shorts, and Louis laughed loudly again, joining his son at the table, plastic Harry sat on it while real Harry sat down next to Jacob.

Just before he left, Louis went through Jacob’s bag, making sure he had the necessities as well as whatever else his crazy son had packed, and left the rucksack by the front door. They all sat together watching a new episode of Power Rangers until the doorbell rang, signalling Jay’s arrival. Harry and Jacob got up together to answer the door, and Louis heard them chat for a minute, his mum eventually coming in and bending over the back of the sofa to kiss Louis’ head in greeting.

“Hey Mum, thanks for this,” Louis said, smiling up at her. “He’s a bit too excited. Oh my god, has he shown you his doll?!” Jay nodded with a grin.

“Yeah, so precious he’s so proud of it. And apparently Harry was really cheap too, just 50p!” Louis giggled, knowing Harry would hate that bit and the fact Jacob kept going on about how cheap his dad was. “Anyway love, we’ll get going, let you two get ready for your night in. I’ll drop him back tomorrow, about two o'clock okay?” Louis nodded and got up to hug his son, a bit surprised to find Harry and Jacob already outside.

Harry beckoned him over and pointed into the car, and Louis and Jay both burst into loud laughter as they saw what Jacob had done. He’d strapped his Harry doll into the backseat, seatbelt pulled across it and was proudly sat on his booster seat next to him, grinning widely. Louis of course had to take a photo, and even managed to persuade Harry into it, although he had to promise not to put it on Twitter, much to his disappointment. He didn't tell Harry that the first thing he did was send it to Anne though, who responded back quickly with a string of laughing emoji’s.

“Have fun Daddy!” Jacob called from his place in the backseat, and Louis chucked his bag into the boot as he rounded the car, leaning in to kiss his son goodbye. He’d got much more used to being away from him since Harry had been around, and it did them both good occasionally to be apart, to give Jacob time with his family as well as Harry and Louis much needed alone time. Harry hugged and kissed him too, Jacob insisting on both of them patting plastic Harry on the head before they left, Jacob waving frantically out of the window as Jay pulled away from the house, beeping the horn as she turned around the corner and out of sight.

“Ah, got you all to myself for a couple of hours,” Harry muttered as he stepped over to Louis, kissing his forehead and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Whatever are we going to do fill the time?”

Louis smirked cheekily up at Harry. “Me?”

*****

“Chuck us another beer, Tommo!” Niall called over to Louis in the kitchen, who was shoving another load of beers into the fridge, trying to keep up with the demand. The five men were having a fun night together, and it had really only just begun. Stan had called to say his Mum had had a fall at home and was at the hospital with her, so he couldn’t make it. Louis had nearly left to go and support his friend, but Stan had insisted he enjoy his Jacob free night, so Louis had said he’d be around tomorrow to visit his friend’s mum, reminding himself to grab some flowers before he headed over there.

Niall and Liam seemingly got on like a house on fire, chatting all things touring since that was their main job. Niall had worked with Harry for years as a tour manager, and Liam being an employee of many of the venues dotted around the UK meant that they had a lot in common, and were currently discussing logistics for Harry’s upcoming small European tour. Harry had already asked Liam if he’d consider joining his team, and Louis had honestly thought his friend was going to burst into tears at the question.

After that though, they’d start throwing back the alcohol like no-one’s business. Harry and Louis had enough rooms and beds for everyone to stay, although Zayn was insistent his girlfriend would be picking him up at the end of the night. They’d already called to order their pizza for later that evening to try and soak up some of the alcohol, but already things were taking a ruder turn.

“Right, I wanna play Twenty Questions,” Niall announced loudly, beer sloshing all over the table as he did so. It said something to Harry’s state of inebriation that he didn't even bother to grab a napkin and mop it up, instead settling back against Louis. He was sat between his fiancé’s legs, one of Louis’ arms draped over his shoulder and the other twiddling in his hair absent-mindedly.

“Fuck’s sake Niall, that’s a shite game,” Zayn mumbled, gulping back his beer, hoping it would numb the pain of that awful game.

“Ah, but you’ve not played the Nialler way,” Niall said with a wink, and Harry groaned, realising what was coming. “I like to play Twenty Dirty Questions.”

“I’m not pissed enough for this,” Harry arched back, whispering into Louis’ ear. “Are you?”

“Why not?” Louis said with a shrug. “Might learn a new thing or two about each other. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to babe. You can trust these people though, you know? They aren’t gonna say anything that’ll expose you or whatever.”

“I know that Lou, I’m just, well, a bit shy about sex stuff sometimes. Pass me that beer, maybe a bit more of that will loosen me up.”

“That’s my job later,” Louis quipped, Harry throwing his head back as he laughed at Louis’ innuendo, everyone now sitting on the floor and looking at each other. Niall had decided they’d play it spin the bottle style, someone spinning it and whoever it landed on got a question from that person. Of course, Niall had nominated himself to go first, and smirked when the empty green bottle landed on Liam, who was already blushing like mad.

“So Mr Liam, my question is… what’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done with a girl?” He cleared his throat quickly, eyes flying over to Louis and Harry. “Or a guy, I mean, whatever, I don’t mean to assume…”

“Girl is right, Nialler,” Liam answered, clearly thinking about his answer. “Well, I mean, I don’t think I’m really, um, naughty as such? I guess it’s probably when I took an old girlfriend backstage and fucked her in one of the dressing rooms while the main act was on stage? We nearly got caught by security but I managed to zip it away in time…” Everyone burst into laughter at the revelation, not expecting to hear something like that from straight-laced Liam.

He rolled his eyes and leaned forwards, spinning the bottle in the top, eyebrows raising when it landed on Louis. “Okay Lou… I have a feeling you’re gonna be pretty honest with us. When was the last time you had a wank?”

“Before you guys came, in the shower with Haz,” he answered, Harry’s jaw dropping at his honesty. Niall nearly choked on the sip of beer he took and slapped his thigh, mainly at Harry’s reaction if he was honest. Louis turned and grinned at Harry, mouthing ‘sorry babe’ before he grabbed the bottle and spun it himself, grinning wickedly as it stopped pointing at Zayn.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Zayn moaned, rolling his eyes. “Come on then Louis, let’s have it.”

“Dirtiest place you’ve ever had sex.”

“My parent’s bed,” Zayn chuckled out. “I was only, like, 15, and they’d gone out for the night. Invited a girl from school over and we did it in there. Dunno why, creeps me out now but at the time it felt like the best thing we could’ve done. Right, my turn. God, I fucking hope it lands on you Tommo.”

Louis swallowed heavily as it did indeed land on him, kind of regretting his earlier cockiness around his best friend. Harry squeezed his hips gently and Louis waited for Zayn’s question.

“Do you own any sex toys Lou?” Louis swallowed heavily, and bit his lip, wondering whether or not he should answer.

“Um, I’m pleading the fifth on that one lads,” he mumbled, grabbing the bottle, knowing he only got one skip in the whole game. As he spun the bottle and watched as it landed on himself, meaning he had to come up with a question for Harry, who was breathing heavily into his hairline now.

“By the way, you are definitely answering that question later,” Harry mumbled, waiting for Louis’ next question. He had a feeling his fiancé wouldn’t be too hard on him, and he hoped he wouldn’t have to answer anything too embarrassing.

“Best sex you’ve ever had,” Louis said, a little too smugly for the others sat around on the floor. Zayn scoffed at the question and fist bumped with Liam, clearly having made some sort of bet Louis would ask Harry a question like that.

“With Niall,” Harry answered deadpan, and both he and Louis cackled as Niall full on choked then, Zayn having to slap him on the back to calm him down a bit. “Nah, seriously, probably in Jamaica. After we got engaged. Won’t ever forget that one babe.” His eyes widened as he realised what he'd said, hoping to god the boys wouldn't pick up on it. Luckily, Niall was too involved in pouring beer from one bottle to another, and Zayn and Liam were grabbing yet more snacks in their hands.

“Love you,” Louis mumbled as they kissed, eyes flitting around to check none of the guys had clocked what he had said. Harry spun the bottle quickly to deflect attention away from them and cheered as it landed on Niall.

“Okay Nialler. Ever had a threesome?”

“Erm, nope,” Niall said, almost looking a little regretful about that. “Came close once, but nah, didn't go through with it. One day, though, hey?!” They all smiled at his optimism, Niall crossing his fingers and holding them all up in the air. Harry groaned when the bottle landed slightly to the left of Louis, meaning it was his turn. “Harold, Harold, Harold. Ultimate. Fantasy. Let’s have it.”

“Nope, my turn to skip that one,” Harry said, feeling his cheeks heat up as the blush spread up his cheekbones, Louis wriggling around in his lap, clearly wanting the answer to that question. Harry ignored it and kept his eyes only on the bottle, knowing the eyes of the other men were on him then. He squeezed Louis’ thigh gently as he spun the bottle, landing on Liam this time. “Liam. One of your kinks. Tell us.”

“Um…” Liam crossed and uncrossed his legs, clearly pondering his answer, watching the other four pair of eyes on him, and decided to go for shock value, thinking they’d all probably expect him to be too vanilla to answer this one. “I like being tied up. Kind of does it for me.” Silence fell over the room as the other men let the answer set in, a little surprised at the revelations coming from Liam that night. “Alright, chins off the floor guys. My turn. Harry…”

“Oh god, be kind Liam…”

“If you had to choose for the rest of your life whether to top or bottom, what-”

“Bottom.” Liam and Louis both looked shocked at the speed of Harry’s answer. “What? I like being fucked by Lou, nothing wrong with that.”

Louis cleared his throat, and stood up quickly, stumbling away as he excused himself to the bathroom. They stopped the game for a while, all getting up and grabbing beers from the kitchen as the doorbell went. Harry went to answer it with his wallet, handing over a few notes to the delivery guy and setting the pizzas on the coffee table, box lids open as the smell filled the room. His phone vibrated along the table then and he picked it up, quickly reading the messages.

 

 

A shiver ran down his spine as he shoved the phone into his back pocket, and called through to the lads he was popping upstairs, running quickly after Louis. The main bathroom door was wide open so he went into their bedroom, not bothering to close the door behind him in his haste to get to Louis. He pushed open the door to ensuite and stopped dead in the doorway, a little shocked by what he saw.

Louis was stood, back leant against the sink, trousers around his ankles as he wanked himself quite quickly, staring with hungry eyes at Harry. Harry watched the confident movements of Louis’ hand, the head of his cock disappearing and reappearing over the top of his fist, glistening with precome. Harry thought he’d never seen anything hotter in his life. He gulped and stepped forwards, not saying anything as he cupped Louis’ cheeks and kissed him deeply, pressing his tongue right into Louis’ mouth, too turned on to care about anything other than getting his fiancé right then and there.

“I cannot believe you fucking said that,” Louis mumbled when Harry pulled away, ducking down to kiss along Louis’ jaw, sucking a few soft love bites into it, making Louis groan in pleasure. “Our friends know you love to bottom, you love my cock inside you. And do not think for a second you’re getting away without telling me your ultimate fantasy sometime soon…”

Harry groaned as Louis’ free hand came down and squeezed his bulge, making him shudder under the pleasure of the feeling. “Fuck Lou - I’m not forgetting about the sex toy question either, dirty boy…”

“Off, get them off-” Louis whimpered as he fumbled with the button of Harry’s jeans, pushing them together with his underwear down his thighs. Harry panted as Louis started to stroke his cock as well as his own, looking down wide-eyed as he watched Louis wank both of them. Harry fumbled in one of the baskets just behind Louis and grabbed a bottle of lube, quickly coating his fingers, ignoring the drops that fell on the floor as he reached a hand behind himself and pushed Louis back slightly so he was bent over, and started to open himself up.

“Oh my god, want you so bad right now- wanna show you how good it is when I fuck you,” Louis muttered, swallowing down Harry’s noises with his mouth, kissing hot and hard while the pair of them wound each other up, Harry bucking his hips every now and then.

“Ready Lou, fuck me please-” Harry jumped as Louis let go of their cocks and pushed Harry back before he shoved him forwards, bending him over the sink and gripping hard at his hips, fingertips digging in to the soft skin.

“Fuck, Lou, are we doing this, are we- Oh god Louis……” Harry moaned as Louis suddenly penetrated him, pushing in in one full stroke until he bottomed out, his hips resting against Harry’s ass for a second before he pulled back slowly, slamming back in hard, making Harry cry out. They were both aware they could probably be heard downstairs but in that moment, they didn't care, Louis starting to slam in over and over again, Harry hanging his head now, just taking everything Louis gave him.

“Shit, so good Haz, take me so well baby, love that you said you liked being fucked to everyone - fuck …” He watched Harry’s knuckles as they turned white gripping the edge of the sink, his legs feeling like jelly now as Louis pounded into him relentlessly. He knew they were drunk but somehow that just made it all the better, all inhibition completely and utterly gone. “Gonna come inside you, make you go downstairs all full of me-”

“Fuck yes, want that, want it now …” Harry groaned, stumbling as Louis thrust with all his weight into Harry, the pain quickly turning into pleasure as Harry reached between his legs, stroking quickly at his own ignored cock. “Louis, oh my god, Louis I’m gonna come, make me come-” Louis slapped his hand away and wrapped his own smaller hand around him, licking up the back of Harry’s neck as he rammed his cock deep one final time and Harry came with a loud cry, coating Louis’ hand and the sink in front of him.

Harry tried to catch his breath but Louis started up his rhythm over again, mumbling filthy words under his breath, up into Harry’s ears as he chased his own orgasm, using Harry’s body to get off. “Fuck me Louis,, fill me up baby-”

“Harry, FUCK …” Louis cried as he started to come, trying to thrust as he started to come deep inside Harry, both of them moaning at the overstimulation but neither quite able to stop. Louis eventually stilled, keeping himself buried inside Harry as Harry craned his head to grab Louis’s face and kiss him, needing that bit of intimacy. He whimpered as Louis slowly slid out of him and turned him around, pressing their still clothed torsos together as they kissed languidly.

“No-one loves me better,” Harry mumbled, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder now, his fiancé pulling up his boxers and jeans for him, trying to fasten them, careful with Harry’s sensitive dick, his own still hanging free much to Harry’s amusement. “Love you Louis, always will.”

“Love you too. Can’t believe you just let me fuck you like that, let all our friends hear it.” Louis chuckled as he sorted himself out, washing his hands and drying them on the hand towel. He kissed Harry’s lips quickly again and grabbed his hand, walking them both out into their bedroom and into the hallway, descending the stairs together, a bit giggly by now.

Louis sat down on the floor and as Harry joined him, he visibly winced, Niall laughing loudly. Liam and Zayn tried their best not to join in but even they couldn’t help it. It was pretty obvious they’d all heard what Louis and Harry had got up to, and what Harry liked was that normally, he’d hate that, but there was something about these guys that made him not care. They’d welcomed him so easily into their fold, not judging and treating him as they did Louis, and even now, they weren’t mocking him, more laughing at his and Louis’ obviousness.

“Yeah, alright, shut up,” Harry said, settling down and carefully leaning back against the back of the sofa, Louis draping his legs over Harry’s thighs then, a simple yet cosy gesture Harry loved. “Keep your opinions to yourself please… we still playing or do we wanna do something else?”

“Movie?” Zayn asked and they all nodded, watching as he jumped up to grab the sky remote, flicking through the channels on the TV until they found one they were all pleased to watch. They sat together and watched until the credits rolled. Liam was asleep on the sofa, so Harry got up and covered him with a blanket, Zayn texting his girlfriend to pick him as Niall bid the rest of them goodnight, climbing the stairs to the spare room, looking a bit dead on his feet.

A while later, Zayn had gone and Louis and Harry were tucked up in bed together, Louis spooning up against Harry’s back, kissing between his shoulder blades as he traced his fingertips up and down his side, loving how soft Harry’s skin was, letting his hand to rest over the laurels on one of Harry’s hips.

“Had such a good time tonight,” Louis whispered into the darkness, listening out for Harry’s soft breaths. “I don’t just mean that amazing shag, either. Just being together with our friends, talking about all that shit so easily. Like, it makes me so happy love. That we can be like that with them. I love you babe.”

His words were answered with a soft snore from Harry, and Louis just smiled to himself, kissing Harry’s neck softly as he let his fall back against the pillow, unable to sleep because of the thoughts of love and forever whirling around like a cyclone in his mind.

*****

Liam and Niall were still at Harry and Louis’ house when Jacob returned home just after lunch the next day. All of the men were suffering with their hangovers, but of course Jacob didn't appreciate that at all when he came thundering through the house, screeching things at the top of his lungs, Niall wincing as he laid his forehead down against the cool wooden top of the table, trying to block out the sound of the young boy.

He hadn’t been around Jacob as much as the other three and he was suffering a bit. He did laugh when Jacob produced the Harry doll again that he’d apparently slept with and refused to let leave him side all night. Jacob climbed onto Harry’s lap and chattered on about his evening, how he’d played three rounds of Snakes and Ladders with Dan, beating him at every one before he had to have a bath and then go to bed, helping Jay to read Ernest and Doris a story first.

“And Dan showed me his new suit, it’s navy like the one you got Dad, for when you and Daddy-” Harry clapped his hand over Jacob’s mouth, hoping he’d shut him up before it was too late. Liam arched an eyebrow at him while Niall stayed against the table, clearly still in pain and unable to move. “Oops, sorry Dad,” Jacob said with a cheeky grin. “I nearly let it out, naughty Jacob!”

“Let what out?” Liam prodded, and Harry shot him an angry look, knowing it wouldn’t take much for the little boy to spill the beans.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Harry said quickly, winking at Jacob. “I get suits for all sorts of things, don’t I love? Got a whole new set for tour as well, even McQueen and Saint Laurent have sent me some stuff this time. Wanna see the pics Li?” Liam nodded and Harry opened up the album on his phone, hoping this would distract Liam long enough that he wouldn’t ask any questions. Jacob hopped up then and ran off to his room, music ringing out from there as always, Louis wandering back in to join them all.

“Your son can’t keep a secret, can he?” Harry whispered to Louis, Louis looking a little concerned now at that revelation.

“Oh right, he’s my son when he can’t keep a secret, but our son when he’s being an angel. Sounds about right,” Louis said with a roll of his eyes, linking fingers with Harry on top of the table, accepting the tea that Harry slid across the tabletop to him. “Thanks babe. You heading off soon lads?” Both men nodded, and they talked for a little while longer, their respective rides arriving to pick them up soon after.

Jacob came downstairs, hugging both of them before they left, and Harry hitched him up onto his hip as they waved everyone off, thanking them again for a great night, Niall muttering something inaudible under his breath as he headed up the path to his ride home. Louis shut the door behind him and the family made their way through to the sitting room, all flopping down together on the big sofa, Harry laying down and Jacob laying on top of him, resting his little head on top of Harry’s chest. He was quite small for a seven year old really, but Louis wasn’t huge either so it made sense Jacob was quite petite too. Harry loved it.

“I’m really sorry I nearly told Uncle Li our secret,” Jacob said quietly, clutching Harry’s shirt in his little fist, voice quiet and serious. “I didn't mean to. I just get excited sometimes thinking about it and it comes out, and I don’t mean for it too…”

“Hey, it’s okay love,” Harry said, rubbing a hand up and down Jacob’s back then to reassure him. “We get it. It’s a lot to ask of you, to keep it all quiet. But we think you’re so clever for managing it so far you know.”

“Thanks Dad,” Jacob said, digging his elbows into Harry’s chest as he gave him a quick kiss. “Love you, and you too Daddy.”

“Love you buddy,” Louis called from his end of the sofa, smiling at how right Harry and Jacob looked together like that. “Wanna go for a bike ride soon, you two?” Both smiled and nodded at Louis. It had become a bit of a family tradition since Jacob’s birthday, there was something peaceful about being outside together and just enjoying something so simple, time together being to so precious to all of them.

“Your hair is so pretty Dad,” Jacob said suddenly, stroking his little fingers through it. “Maybe you should grow it so it gets all curly down your back. You’d look like a princes. I mean, you’re a man but still you could be a princess.” Harry winced as Jacob climbed off, narrowly avoiding a knee where he really didn't want one, and watched the little boy skip out of the room.

“So… wanna be my princess?” Louis asked with a wicked grin, coming up the sofa and straddling Harry’s thighs, letting his hands rest on top of Harry’s which were on his hips. “Think I’d quite like you to be my princess, babe.”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Harry said with a wink, both startling when Jacob shouted at them as he came in.

“Daddy! I’ve told you, Dad is not a sofa, you have to sit your bottom on the cushion like you tell me!” Jacob’s dads laughed at that, Louis carefully stepping off Harry but bending down to kiss him quickly, turning and reaching out for Jacob.

“You better run little man… nobody tells me I can’t use Dad as a sofa if I want to… last one upstairs is the loser!” Harry watched with the biggest grin as Louis and Jacob raced out of the room together, laughter filling the house, wondering how he got quite so lucky.


	25. From This Moment On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hugest thanks goes to the wonderful [@WishYouWerePink](https://twitter.com/WishYouWerePink) on Twitter, who made the wonderful manip at the end of this chapter just for me and this fic, yay! :)

“I love you, so fucking much,” Harry whispered as he moved deeply inside Louis, their bodies completely in tune. Louis had his eyes closed, hands resting lightly on Harry’s sweaty back as his fiancé moved inside him, both carried away with the emotion of that evening. He was sighing with each of Harry’s thrusts, deep but not rough, and it was everything both of them needed. “Not long baby, I can’t wait… love you …”

“Love you too,” Louis mumbled, letting one of his eyes drift open slowly as he dragged his fingers up, tugging lightly at Harry’s hair, fingers wrapping in the ever-growing brown curls. Harry’s breath hitched at a harder tug and they locked eyes for a moment, Louis taking in the sight of Harry’s blown pupils. He cocked his eyebrow slightly at how Harry was now nuzzling his head into Louis’ touch, making him tug on the soft brown locks that little bit more, groaning lowly as he did so. He tugged a little harder, Harry whimpering even louder now and Louis wondered if this could be one of the things Harry wouldn’t divulge the other night at their get together with the lads. Louis knew they were both trying to be as quiet as they could, pupils blown as they made love quietly, determined to try and prove their love for each other in the best way they knew how.

“Wanna make you come, how do you wanna come?” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips, bending down to capture them in a kiss again. His whole body felt on fire wherever his skin met Louis’. It was crazy. They’d been together nearly 15 months now but he never got enough of seeing Louis like this, being privileged enough to see Louis in this way; turned on, sweaty from sex, completely naked for him. Harry knew that while Louis was physically naked, he was also emotionally stripped bare for him too. Louis was never afraid to lay every emotion on the line for Harry, to let him see deep inside his soul, expose himself time and time again for Harry. 

“Like this,” Louis replied, fingers wrapping around Harry’s neck then, digging in slightly as Harry sped up his thrusts slightly, the sound of Harry’s skin hitting Louis’ the only noise either man could hear. Harry dipped his tongue lightly in Louis’ mouth, bringing one hand up from his hip to pinch at Louis’ nipple, swallowing the groan he let out with his own mouth, sucking on his bottom lip, trapping the thinner one between his teeth gently. “You inside me.”

Harry quickly brushed away a lock of hair from Louis’ forehead and pressed his body down, making Louis shiver as his tummy pressed down on Louis’ hard cock, feeling the precome dripping from it rub against his own stomach, the friction delightful for Louis. They continued to stare at each other as they moved, Louis’ legs now up around Harry’s waist as Harry drove ever deeper into him, their sex still tender and loving as they chased their orgasms.

Louis released first, the feeling of Harry’s stomach against his cock too much to control, and he came, muffling his cry as he bit down in Harry’s shoulder, coming hard over his own body, whimpering Harry’s name as he eventually pulled away, laying heavily back down onto the mattress as Harry continued to pound into him, looking deep into his eyes. 

“Mine, fucking mine, all mine, I love you, love you always,” Harry grunted out, grabbing Louis’ hand as he started to come hard into Louis, the feel of his own come flooding Louis’ body quite over-whelming. He moaned as he kept thrusting, clinging on tightly to Louis’ hand, marvelling over the small size of it in his own, kissing Louis as he started to still, leaving them both connected as he leant down on his elbows, holding himself up over Louis. “Love you. Can’t wait for tomorrow babe.”

“Me neither,” Louis said in a raspy voice, looking completely fucked out by now, covered in sweat and come as he lay on the messed up sheets, chest heaving with his breaths. He pushed at Harry’s shoulders, letting his fiancé slide out of him, and collapse onto the bed beside him. Louis lifted his leg, laying it over Harry’s longer ones, needing to somehow touch Harry, ground himself in any way he could. “We need to sleep. Big day tomorrow my love.”

“Yeah, I know.” Harry sat up with a wince, hating how the cool air of the bedroom was making him shiver as his own body cooled down from their exertions, goosebumps popping up all over as he padded through, entirely naked, to their bathroom. He grabbed a warm washcloth and cleaned himself up before returning to Louis and wiping him over too, smiling softly as Louis grabbed his wrist, just staring at him for a minute.

“Harry, I really do love you. You know that, right? That I love you more than anything?” Harry cupped Louis’ hand with his cheek, thumb rubbing gently over his chin. “I love you, Harry.”

“Love you too,” Harry whispered back, throwing the flannel in the direction of the bathroom, not particularly caring where it landed. He stood and quickly grabbed two pairs of boxers from their drawers and helped Louis slide his on and over his sweat-sticky thighs before pulling on his own and getting into bed with him, cuddling up to Louis’ warm body under the covers. “Sleep my darling. The sooner we sleep, the sooner tomorrow will be here.”

*****

“Jacob, time to go my love,” Louis called up the stairs. Harry was outside putting everything in the car, and he felt butterflies flapping around in his tummy now that things were finally happening. It felt very real all of a sudden. Jacob came running down the stairs, almost slipping on the wooden floorboards in the hallway and skidding to a halt in front of Louis, Harry doll still clutched in his hand. He grinned widely, exposing the gap in his front teeth. Much to his excitement, Jacob had lost a tooth earlier that morning, and had already put it under his pillow, ready for the tooth fairy to collect. Louis looked down at him, just thinking the little gap made his son look even cuter.

“I’m ready Daddy, where’s Dad?” Louis pointed out of the front door at where they could both see Harry who was now closing the boot. “Dad! I got my other Harry, don’t worry!” Louis laughed, sure Harry wasn’t at all worried whether or not Jacob had the godforsaken plastic version of him, and watched with fond eyes as Jacob ran out, kissing Harry before he hopped up into the car, letting Harry make sure he was buckled in safely to his car seat.

Louis locked the front door behind him and walked up the path, sliding into the passenger seat next to Harry, who was busy fiddling with the radio, tuning it to a station they could all enjoy. He rolled his eyes as Only Angel came on, Jacob screeching loudly from the back seat to leave it on. He did, and put the car into reverse, going out onto the main road and heading in the direction of their venue for the day. 

A little while later, they arrived, smiling as they saw the plethora of familiar cars in the car park. Harry swung his Audi into the space next to his own Mum’s car, letting Louis take care of getting Jacob out while Harry grabbed their bags. He took Louis’ hand in his own as they walked across the car park, Jacob now skipping in front of them, full of joy for what was to come. They spoke to the receptionist and were guided back to their own room, wasting no time in getting ready, seeing no point in putting off the inevitable.

They could see through the window of the room where their friends and family all stood together, chatting easily but they all looked slightly puzzled as they searched with their eyes for any sign of Louis or Harry. Louis caught Harry’s eye and they smiled knowingly at each other. Jacob was sat on a chair in the corner of the room playing on an app on Harry’s phone to keep him occupied. A knock sounded at the door and Harry went to deal with that while Louis went over to crouch in front of Jacob, pushing the device down as he looked into his son’s blue eyes, so like his own.

“You know what you have to say, sweetheart?” he asked softly, and Jacob nodded. “Okay, good. If you get nervous, remember Dad or I can take over.”

“Okay. I can do this, I want to do it for you and for Dad. Love you, Daddy.” Louis kissed his son and hugged him quickly, letting the boy wrap his arms around his neck for a minute until Harry came over, resting his hand on Louis’ shoulder, making him stand up.

“Ready when you are.” Louis took in a deep breath and pulled Jacob to his feet, standing their son between them as they headed for the door.

“Never been more ready,” he said with a grin as they made their way to the main room.

*****

They pushed through the double doors, and watched for a moment as their families mingled together. Anne spotted Harry, Louis and Jacob first, nudging Jay and pointing, and a ripple effect occurred until everyone was quietening down, staring at the three people in a line stood at the entrance to the room. They stepped up to the little stage area set to one side, Louis whispering something to Jacob who nodded with a smile up at his dads.

Harry grabbed the microphone from the stand and handed it down to Jacob who thanked him, looking out at the array of people all watching him. He was silent for a minute, looking a little nervous so Harry crouched down next to him, pushing the microphone away from his mouth for a second.

“You don’t have to do this, love. I can, if you need me to. We won’t be upset, I promise-”

“No, I will. I can. I’m a big boy,” Jacob said confidently, and Harry nodded, standing back up behind Jacob, resting one hand on Jacob’s shoulder, the other nestled in Louis’.

“Thank you for coming. Me, my Daddy and my Dad are very happy you are all here with us. We know you think this is a party. And Daddy and Dad kept this a secret from me too until yesterday because I nearly telled Uncle Liam a secret the other week as they thought I couldn’t be quiet.” A small ripple of laughter went through the room, Louis and Harry smiling down softly at their son who grinned up at them with his gappy smile.

“Today is super duper special. It isn’t a party.” They watched as Anne looked at Jay, everyone around them completely perplexed as to what was going on. Zayn leant over and whispered something to Stan, who then shrugged. Liam and Niall were stood together, arms folded across their chests with neutral expressions. Even the youngest twins were quiet in the arms of Dan and Lottie.

“Today, my Daddy is marrying my Dad. They’re getting married right now. Dad’s gonna be a Tomlinson like me and Daddy.” There was a stunned silence for a moment, eyes widening comically around the room until a stifled sob sounded out, Anne clutching her hand to her mouth, clearly in shock and entirely over-whelmed. Robin wrapped her up in a hug and suddenly, the room was filled with applause, everyone cheering and clapping for Harry and Louis.

What they hadn’t expected, however, was the arrival of a celebrant on the stage between them, and once again, a hush rang out around the room as everyone realised this was happening here and now. Louis and Harry turned to face each other, holding hands between them, Jacob stood by Louis’ side, a big smile on his face, one everyone knew would be there for days following this. The microphone was back on the stand in front of the celebrant, and Louis squeezed Harry’s hands as he began to speak.

“Louis and Harry have gathered you all here today, to celebrate their love as they unite together in marriage, joined by their son Jacob. Marriage is a commitment neither of these men take lightly, and step into it with open eyes, arms and hearts as they embrace the future they move into together.” There were loud sniffs all around now, and Louis looked over his shoulder, smiling softly at his mum whose eyes were shining with unshed tears, an unbelievable expression of pride in her eyes.

“Louis and Harry have written their own vows to each other, and would like to share them with you, their trusted and loved friends and family. Harry, I understand you would like to go first?” Harry nodded, clearing his throat as he smiled at Louis, his own eyes prickling with tears now. He couldn’t believe how perfectly this was all going, that it was finally, truly happening. He was marrying Louis.

He let his eyes take in the vision that was Louis in front of him, looking more handsome than ever in his white shirt, navy jacket and trousers. It was nothing fancy, his own floral shirt and navy trousers were fished from his wardrobe, the shirt being the one he’d worn the night they’d shared a dinner in Jamaica to celebrate their engagement, a little secret they could share in this special day. Jacob had insisted on wearing his own Hawaiian shirt like Harry’s that they’d bought together, and while they didn't look wedding smart, it was perfect for them and Harry didn't want to change a single thing.

“Louis. My Lou. I can’t believe this day is finally here, at last. I know we’ve both wanted this for so long, and it’s pretty much killed us keeping this a secret from everyone. You stumbled into my life over a year ago now, and pretty much stole my heart from the moment I set eyes on you. I’ve never felt love like the love you give me, Louis, and I only hope I make you feel as loved in return. You brighten my world in so many ways, you’re the home I want to come back to at the end of the day, the one I seek out when I need love, comfort and to feel safe. You’ve given me a family, a son who I love so much and you’ve given me your heart. I could never ask for anything more from you than to let me spend the rest of our lives loving you, caring for you and being by your side for whatever life gives us. You're the love of my life, Lou.” He swiped away at an errant tear that was tumbling down his cheek now, a bit overcome with emotion. “I love you, I can’t wait to call you my husband and to know you are completely and utterly my forever, you and Jacob are my home.” He let out a soft breath then, glad he got through it without dissolving into floods of tears as he had feared earlier when he ran over his vows in his mind.

Louis now stepped forwards slightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, ready to make his own vows to Harry now.

“Before I met you, I was a little lost. I’d sort of lost sight of who I was. I had lots of titles - Daddy, Mr Tomlinson, son, father, friend. But there was always something missing, and it wasn’t until I found you that I realised what it was. You saw me for me, Harry. You were the first person who saw through everything, and fell in love with me, for who I was, who I am. You were also the first person I allowed myself to fall in love, to give everything I had to. You’ve loved me so fiercely for so long, and you’ve stopped me feeling lost. Because of you, I’m found, Harry. You’ve made me happier than I ever dreamt I could be, made me feel a love so pure I can’t quite believe I get to be this lucky. I want to spend my forever with you, with our son. I love you, and nothing would make me prouder than to be your husband, to call you mine. I knew that one day I had to find my prince, and it's you. It's always been you, and it'll always be you.” 

Harry was openly weeping now, and Jacob rushed forwards, wrapping his little arms around Harry’s waist, the taller man quickly bending down to pick Jacob up, crying against him for a moment. Jacob spoke lowly into Harry’s ears and eventually they both giggled as he set Jacob back down on the floor. They turned back to each other, Jacob holding Harry’s hand now as the celebrant spoke again.

“Louis and Harry have exchanged vows, promising themselves to each other, and will now confirm their commitment to each other with the exchange of rings.”  The celebrant paused for a moment, waiting for the rings to appear.

“Oh! That’s me, isn’t it? Sorry, I forgot!” Jacob said a little loudly, gentle laughter sounding out as he fished the rings out of the pocket of his jeans, putting them both on the palm of his hand as Louis had taught him yesterday. Louis lifted up the larger band, while Harry took the smaller one. Harry took Louis’ left hand in his own and hooked the ring over the end of Louis’ ring finger, starting to speak.

“With this ring, I promise you forever. This ring, like us, is never-ending. I promise to love you with all I have, all that I am, forever and a day. With this ring, Louis, I marry you.” He slid the ring on, grinning down at the sight of the platinum band on Louis’ tanned hand, shining in the bright lights of the room.

Louis then placed his ring on Harry’s finger, speaking with a shaky voice. “I give you this ring as a sign of my commitment to you, to our marriage, to our future. I will love you always, I will respect you and trust you beyond measure. You are my everything Harry, and with this ring, I marry you too.” He pushed the band up, chuckling as it got stuck over Harry’s knuckle, finally sliding it into place at the end of his finger. Louis brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly.

“Can I say something please?” Jacob said, tugging on the sleeve of the celebrant. He looked to Louis and Harry who nodded. They had an idea this might be coming as Jacob had locked himself away in his bedroom for much of yesterday afternoon, banning the pair of them from entering his bedroom. Louis had seen him stuff a piece of paper into his pocket as they got dressed earlier, and suddenly that piece of paper reappeared in Jacob’s hands.

Harry reached for the microphone, passing it down to Jacob, smiling at Niall who he noticed was videoing Jacob now on his iPhone. He held Louis’ hand again as they both listened to their son.

“I have always loved Harry. Even before I knowed him for real. I loved his songs, I singed them all the time at home and in the car. When I saw him in Manchester on my birthday when I was six, I thought it was so amazing. But now it’s more amazing because I get to call him my Dad. And now it’s even more super amazing cos he’s gonna be Harry Tomlinson and have the name like me and Daddy. It has always been me and Daddy at home, just the two of us and I liked it. But now we are three people at home and Dad makes us both happy, he makes Daddy smile so big and laugh so loud. I am so happy that we found you Dad and you are marrying Daddy and making us a family. I can have two daddies forever now. I love both of you lots and lots.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house after that, and both Louis and Harry crouched down, grabbing Jacob in the tightest hug, all three of them crying by now. 

“I love you kiddo, so much,” Louis whispered into Jacob’s ear, trying to wipe away his tears as Harry kissed his head, all three emotional, Louis smiling to himself as he caught sight of Harry’s wedding band. They stood up, smiling at their equally emotional families and friends and held hands again, waiting for the celebrant to continue.

“Harry, Louis and Jacob have all declared their love for each other, their intentions to be a family and to enter into their marriage to all of you. It is clear and easy to feel the love between these two men, the tenderness in the family they have created, and the happiness they surround themselves in. It is my utmost pleasure and honour to hereby proclaim these men to be married. Congratulations, you may now kiss your husband.”

Louis and Harry grinned widely at each other, and Harry gave in first, surging forwards and pressing his lips roughly against Louis’, their first kiss as a married couple. The shouts and cheers in the room were completely deafening, Jacob running off the stage and into Anne’s arms as they all clapped and cheered the kissing couple. They pulled apart, pressing their foreheads together for a moment, staring deeply into each others eyes before they turned to face everyone, holding their hands together and up in the air, laughing at the joy on the faces of everyone they loved.

They slowly descended the few steps onto the main floor, and were promptly grabbed by their mums, who were crying unabashedly, hugging their sons tightly.

“What the hell? What was this, why didn't you tell me?!” Jay cried, slapping a hand across Louis’ bicep before grabbing his left hand and staring at his new wedding ring. “My baby boy is married, I can’t believe this. Why didn't you tell us Lou?”

“I’m sorry, Mum, but we just wanted something for us. He proposed to me in Jamaica, we nearly got married out there actually.” Jay looked shocked at this, and Louis barrelled on, keen to set the record straight. “But we couldn’t do it without you guys or Jake. We didn't want a big fuss, it’s not us. So we booked the celebrant, decided just to get everyone here and do it. I’m happier than I’ve ever been Mum, he makes me so happy.”

“Oh, I know my darling, I can see it in you, how loved you are. I can’t believe it though, you’re married, you’ve got a husband.” She grabbed him and hugged him tightly again, and he could feel her chest shudder with her tears. All of a sudden, she pulled away and darted to the side, wrapping Harry up in a tight cuddle too. His chin was resting on her shoulder and he smiled softly to Louis, tears still shining in his eyes. “My lovely son-in-law,” she muttered, stroking Harry’s back as they hugged.

Someone grabbed Louis’ left hand then, and he smiled when he saw it was Anne, looking down at his shiny new wedding ring. “So, you married my son then,” she said with an arched, perfectly plucked eyebrow, a smirk on her lips. Louis suddenly felt nervous, wondering if Anne was angry with him for pulling off this surprise wedding, taking away the excitement and anticipation from her. He swallowed and looked before her face split into a huge grin, the smaller woman looking so like Harry as she hugged him around his shoulders. “Look after him, please? He’s your husband now, take care of my baby please Lou.”

Louis nodded, understanding what she meant, that although he was a grown man, a celebrity in his own right, Harry was still a delicate soul, needed loving and nurturing. Louis promised her he was going to be the best husband, the best friend to Harry that he could be, and both were on the verge of tears again as she spoke softly into his ear, words for his ears only.

“I’m so happy he found you, Louis. You and Jacob, of course. He adores that little boy more than anything, and becoming a dad has really the making of him. He’s told me you’re thinking about expanding your family, and I can’t tell you how happy that made him, love. He lives for you two, and I just know having a baby with you will just, well, it’ll complete him Louis.”

“And me. I feel the same, Anne,” Louis said honestly, heart thumping in his chest at the thought of giving Harry another child, the one thing Harry wanted most in the world. He hugged Anne again and walked back over to Harry, sliding his hands underneath his new husband’s jacket, squeezing the flesh at his hips gently until Harry turned around, capturing his lips in a kiss. 

“Hello, husband,” said Harry in a low voice, clearly excited to finally be using the word in relation to Louis. It felt right on his tongue somehow, and the way Louis’ eyes lit up solidified the fact he’d done the right thing in picking this man to share the rest of his life with.

“Hey, Mr Tomlinson,” Louis replied, smiling up at him, fingers fiddling with the wedding band wrapped around Harry’s ring finger, sitting there proudly for the world to see. “Everybody happy? Think our mums are a bit stunned and overwhelmed, but everyone seems happy for us.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Harry said, gazing around the room at their friends and family. Jacob was currently sat on Liam’s back as if they were off on a piggyback ride, and when he saw them looking, he waved with a big smile at his dad’s. Harry looked over at Louis’ navy suit, stroking his hands up and down his sides quickly, trying to not let himself get too worked up in the middle of the room, everyone’s eyes on them. “You look beautiful, by the way. Love how curvy your waist looks like this, can’t wait to get you alone later…”

“Calm down love, save it for later,” Louis teased, slipping just the tips of his fingers inside the waistband of Harry’s smart trousers, resting on top of the swell of his ass cheeks. “I’m all yours for the rest of our lives, so there’s no rush. We’ve got forever to enjoy each other.”

Harry leaned forwards, breathing hotly into Louis’ ear. “But I want you now,” he rumbled, fingers squeezing Louis’ hips now. “Wanna take you apart on my tongue, make my husband come and scream my name. You want that, babe?” Louis nodded, biting his lip  in an attempt to keep himself under control, already feeling his cock twitch in his too-tight trousers at Harry’s words, at what he had promised Louis they’d get up to that night.

“We’d better make a quick speech or something before we head out to the venue for tonight,” Louis mumbled, sighing when Harry bent down to kiss his neck. Louis noticed Lottie and Fizzy watching from the other side of the room, smirking at their brother so he reluctantly pushed his husband off him, holding their hands between them. “Not really into the idea of giving my family a show,” he said quietly. “I’ll make it worth your while later though, promise.” Harry nodded and they held hands, walking back to the stage again. Harry tapped the microphone and got everyone’s attention, looking at Louis who was more than happy for him to take the lead, a bit more used to public speaking than Louis was.

“Um, I know we’re heading off soon to the afterparty, but on behalf of my new husband and I-”

“Woo, go Harry and Louis!” Niall hollered from the other side of the room, making everyone chuckle. 

“Thank you for that, Niall. Anyway… on behalf of my husband Louis and I, we’d like to thank you for being here today to celebrate our wedding with us. We know it’s come as a big surprise to you all, but this was how we wanted to do it. This wasn’t about spending a lot of money, or having a big do. We just wanted to be married to each other, and we wanted all of you to be a part of that, to see us finally tie the knot. A few of you have asked us about wedding presents as we’ve been walking around, and Louis and I have decided that in lieu of presents, if you would like to, we would ask for donations to charity as we are both lucky enough to have everything we will ever need.” Everyone clapped at that, and Louis felt proud that he’d made the suggestion to Harry, knowing his Mum and sisters would want to get them a wedding present, although neither of them needed any material things at all.

“Yes, thank you all so much, we hope you aren’t too cross with us, but after we got engaged in Jamaica, we decided this was what we wanted. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and we hope you’ll all join us at the Blazefort Hotel for our afterparty, where we’ve got a dinner booked, and then a party afterwards. See you there!” Everyone cheered and clapped again as they turned and kissed, people snapping photos left, right and centre of the happy couple. “Oh! Before we forget… please don’t put anything online about this just yet. Haz and I want to enjoyed being married in private for a little while before we tell anyone if that’s okay.” Their gathered friends and family nodded, totally understanding their need for privacy.

“Thank you! Now I’m going to take my husband Harry Tomlinson and our son to the Blazefort, so we’ll see you there!”

*****

“Are you drunk?” Harry whispered to Louis, who grinned wide-eyed at him, nodding earnestly in reply to the question, feeling it was a bit obvious, really. Zayn and Stan had been plying him with glass after glass of champagne since they’d arrived 4 hours ago, and Louis was more than slightly merry right now. Jacob had gone home with Anne and Robin an hour ago, and now Harry and Louis were both letting their hair down, enjoying their first few hours as newlyweds. Harry’s shirt was unbuttoned down to pretty much his belly button (much to Louis’ delight), and Louis had taken off his jacket, rolling back the sleeves of his shirt to reveal his tattooed and tanned forearms. It highlighted his wedding ring even more since he wore no other jewellery, and even Harry wasn’t wearing his usual other rings today.

“Yep.” Louis said, popping the p quite loudly, making Harry giggle. He was drunk too, although not as drunk as his husband. They swayed messily to the music since they were on the dancefloor, and they were singing loudly with their friends, and even though it was only the early hours of the evening, he was already wanting to get home, back to his and Harry’s bed so they could enjoy the first sex together as husband and husband. The thought sent a shiver down his spine, and he crowded closer to Harry, pressing their bodies together as closely as he could get, hips, chests and thighs in alignment now.

“You do know we’re in public?” Harry mumbled into Louis’ ear, licking a stripe down his husband’s sweaty neck, enjoying the shiver it drew from Louis. “We can go soon, you just need to hold on a bit longer baby.”

“Wanna fuck my husband, get you in our bed and fuck you all night,” Louis muttered, and Stan smirked over, having heard every word despite how discrete Louis thought he was being. Harry chuckled as he shook his head at Louis’ candor, trying to ignore how horny the sound of his words made him feel, how much he wanted that right now. Louis’ hands were roaming all over his body so he took them in his own, trying to keep them decent as much as he could.

“Later, Louis,” he whispered, Louis nodding and resting his head on Harry’s exposed section of his chest. They stumbled around the dance floor for a little while longer before other people started to leave, waving them off and thanking them for coming, for celebrating their special day. Soon enough, it was only the two of them, Zayn, Stan, Liam and Niall left. The lads helped clear up a bit and helped Harry get Louis to the car, making him drink a couple of bottles of water to sober him up a little.

“The taxi knows where to take you, he’s discrete, I know him,” Zayn said, and Harry nodded gratefully, loving how their friends understood their need for privacy. He climbed in the backseat next to Louis and waved as Zayn closed the door, all three men stood waving the newlyweds off as they were driven home. It didn't take long for Louis to cuddle up to Harry, laying his head on Harry’s shoulder, bringing their bodies together as close as he could. He was mumbling something under his breath but Harry sat quietly, basking in the moment, the fact he was actually married to Louis. Louis was his husband. He grinned to himself at the thought.

Soon enough, the taxi pulled up outside their house, and Harry gave the driver a rather hefty tip before he dragged his drunk husband out of the car and into his arms. Louis stumbled a little bit, so Harry took matters into his own hands… literally. He scooped Louis up bridal style, and felt around in his pocket for his key carefully, balancing Louis against him as he worked the key into the lock, pushing it wide open with his foot. He stepped inside and closed it quietly behind him.

“Thought you’d be nice and sober before I carried you over the threshold for the first time,” he said with a smile, jostling Louis slightly before he began to climb in the stairs. Once in their bedroom, he undressed his sleepy husband, tugging his suit off and chucking it into the corner of the room to be dealt with tomorrow. He headed into the bathroom and did his teeth, stripping down to his own underwear. However, instead of being greeted with a hot and ready Louis, he was greeted with a snoring, sound asleep husband. “Guess I’ll have to wait another night to consummate our marriage, hey Lou?” he said quietly into the room.

He got onto the bed and tucked Louis under the thin sheet covering the bed, kissing his soft lips gently before climbing in next to him. He sent a quick email to his PR people, which was replied to in a matter of minutes, confirming things had gone live as he had planned. This was a surprise for Louis, and he only hoped the reaction from both his husband and his fans would be a good one. He smiled down at the phone screen, composing a tweet before sending it out into the world, letting them know the song he and Louis had written and recorded together was out there, Harry’s way of acknowledging their marriage, his forever, without actually saying it aloud.

His phone quickly blew up with notifications and he turned it off, pleased to see the fans were going crazy, not only just because of the song but because of the artwork which was clearly both Louis and Harry. There was speculation thanks to his tweet, but he just snuggled down under the covers, spooning his smaller husband which was a change from the norm, and brought Louis’ left hand up to his lips, kissing his wedding ring before laying it down on the mattress again.

“Love you, husband,” he whispered, happy that at last, at long last, he’d found his happy ever after.


	26. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis celebrate being married in their own way. Happiness reigns until Louis finds something rather upsetting and Harry has to reassure him.

“Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.” Louis sighed and rolled his eyes at how his fiancé - no, not anymore - husband was still entirely dead to the world. Louis resorted to dirty tactics. He straddled Harry’s body on the bed and started bouncing up and down on it, mimicking riding Harry. He tried to ignore Harry’s hard cock which was nestled between his ass cheeks as he bounced, and started shouting again. “HARRY. HARRY EDWARD TOMLINSON WAKE THE FUCK UP.”

Finally Harry started to stir and cracked one eye open, giving Louis an unamused look at how he was bouncing on top of Harry’s body. Now that he was awake, Louis clambered off rather ungracefully and flopped down on the bed next to him, far too bright eyed and bushy tailed considering how inebriated he had been the night before.

“Morning hubby,” Louis said with a smile, leaning down to kiss his husband good morning for the first time.

“And you felt the need to pretend to ride my cock for what reason exactly?” Harry asked, fully awake by now. He accepted yet another kiss from Louis, enjoying the fact they could laze around in bed and talk freely, not having to worry about little ears hearing their rude banter. Louis shrugged and started pressing kisses to Harry’s chest, over the birds tattooed at his collarbones.

“You wouldn’t wake up. I had a feeling simulating sex might do it for you, and guess what? I was right.” Louis looked too cocky at that comment, and when a smirk flashed across his lips, Harry had had enough. He grabbed Louis’ hips tightly and flipped them so he was flat on the mattress, Harry on his hands and knees hovering above him, staring into his blue eyes. “Morning husband, have a good sleep did we?”

“I did, thank you for tucking me in so nicely,” Louis said with a sweet smile before relenting and turning a bit serious for a second. “On a more serious note, I’m sorry I ruined our wedding night. Everyone should get to fuck their new husband on their wedding night and I took that away from you cos I got pissed. I’m sorry babe.” Harry burst into laughter at the sincerity on Louis’ face, and tried to kiss away his pout.

“Babe, it’s fine. If I’m honest, I dunno if I’d have got it up anyway, I was exhausted and a bit drunk myself. We’ve got the whole day to ourselves anyway, plenty of time to consummate our marriage today.”

“Oh, you’d have got it up, believe me…” Louis muttered to himself as he shoved Harry, disappearing into their bathroom to use the loo. Harry heard the flush before Louis came back out, entirely naked now, having for some reason shed his underwear in the bathroom. “Don’t look at me like that, you married this.” Louis said, indicating his body.

“And a lucky man I am for it,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hips again as he neared the bed, pulling him on top of him. He groaned as their lips met and his phone started buzzing on the side. He glanced over to it and sighed, sitting up when he realised it was Anne called. “‘Lo?” he said in a sleepy tone, perking up when he heard Jacob on the other end. He pulled the phone away from his ear, and put it on speakerphone so Louis could hear too.

“I had an enormous breakfast, Nanny made me sausage and bacon and an egg! It was a dippy egg too with toast soldiers, me and Grandad Robin had some! It was so yummy, better than Daddy’s egg and soldiers but don’t tell him Dad…”

“Too late for that,” Louis joked, and they both smiled as they heard Jacob’s audible gasp through the line. “I won’t cry now babe, I’ll save that for later. You having fun at Nanny and Grandad Robin’s house?”

“Yeah! We’re going bug hunting in the woods later on before I come home for bed. Did you have your special kiss yet?”

Harry looked at Louis who just frowned and shrugged, neither of understanding what Jacob was going on about just yet. “Um, special kiss Jake? What do you mean?” Louis asked, wanting to clear it up.

“Laila at school says when mummies and daddies or daddies and daddies get married you have to a special kiss at night when you get back from saying the I do bit. So did you have your special kiss to make sure you’re properly married?” They smiled softly at each other at their son’s naivety, deciding to tell a little white lie to make sure he was happy for the rest of the day.

“Yes, we did sweetheart. Dad gave me a good special kiss before we went to sleep.”

“Yay! That means you can live happily ever after-” there was a clunk and a shout in the distance, and then a bit of a rustle before Jacob came back on the line. “I’ve got to go now, Grandad Robin is calling me to get things ready for the bug hunt. I love you both, see you later!” And before either of them could say a word, Jacob had hung up and the line went dead.

“Well, bye then son,” Harry joked, and Louis laughed as he put Harry’s phone back on the bedside table. Harry hissed as Louis leaned on a few strands of his hair, trying to ignore the twitch in his cock at the touch. Louis knew Harry enjoyed having his hair played, like nothing more than laying his head down in Louis’ lap when they watched a movie, Louis’ fingers weaving easily in and out of it, or washing it in the shower, massaging his fingertips into his scalp. But somehow, this was different and it wasn’t the first Louis had noticed it. However, he was too horny for his husband to pay it any mind at the moment. Louis pushed his crotch up, moaning lowly as his cock brushed against Harry’s clothed one, waggling his eyebrows a few times trying to tell Harry what he wanted.

“Oh, now you want me, do you?” Harry joked, smiling so Louis knew he wasn’t intentionally being mean to him. “Think it’s time I finally got to fuck my gorgeous husband, right?”

“Um, no?” Louis said, raising an eyebrow at Harry. “I wanna fuck you first.”

“No way,” Harry said, shaking his head. “My turn.”

“Says who?” Louis almost shouted, looking scandalised. “I want to fuck you so just shut up and let me Harold.”

“No. Flip you for it.” Louis pushed Harry off and sat up, looking entirely scandalised now.

“You cannot be serious. You want to flip a coin to determine who gets to fuck who?” Harry just shrugged with one shoulder, watching with amused eyes as Louis reached across and dug through his bedside drawer, eventually emerging victorious, a shiny ten pence piece in his fingers. “Heads or tails?”

“Heads,” Harry said with a dirty smirk, and Louis rolled his eyes, preparing to flip the coin. He set it on the top of his finger and flipped it, the pair watching until it came to a stop on the mattress. “Oh shite.” Louis was shamelessly punching the air now, the shiny tails side of the coin indicating Harry’s loss. “Alright Tomlinson, calm yourself down.”

“You lost though. You love to lose, don’t you hubby?” Harry shut him up with his lips, kissing him roughly and pushing Louis back on the mattress. Louis moaned against the hold Harry had him in, one of his hands pinning both wrists lightly to the bed, the other reaching down, teasing as near to his cock as he could get. “Oh god Harry… fucking hell, I love you so much.”

“Love you more,” Harry said so sincerely, he had to swallow down the big lump that had appeared in his throat all of a sudden. “Make love to me, Lou. Please. I need you.” Louis just nodded and pulled Harry down into a deeper, the mood turning from playful to serious and tender in a split second. “Want my husband inside me.”

“Fuck yeah, I want that too,” Louis said, reaching out to grab the bottle of lube Harry had snatched from his bedside table. “Lay down, on your back baby.” Harry hurried to comply, letting Louis pull off his boxers as he spread himself out, Louis sitting on his thighs. He watched as he bent down and started kissing across Harry’s collarbones and the tattoos there, down to his nipples which he licked and sucked on for a minute, knowing it would drive Harry insane with desire. Harry’s back arched, and he brought his hands up to Louis’ bare ass, squeezing firmly as Louis ground down against him, making them both moan and shudder with pleasure.

Louis wasted no time in opening Harry up for him, settled between his legs three fingers deep, and with Harry’s cock between his lips. It was dirty and sloppy, yet at the same time everything they both needed. Harry felt on fire all over, like his body just couldn’t get enough of his new husband and as he glanced down, meeting Louis’ eye as he ran his tongue around the head of Harry’s hard length, he smiled as he realised he was the one lucky enough to get Louis like this for the rest of his life.

“Inside me now, please baby-” Harry begged, and gently tugged on Louis’ hair until he released his cock, it slapping down hard against Harry’s toned stomach, curving slightly to the left. Louis kissed it again as he withdrew his fingers, wiping them down on the sheet before he covered himself in lube. Louis went to flip him over but Harry shook his head, locking his ankles behind Louis’ back, keeping them in place. “Like this, please? Want to see you and kiss you.”

Louis nodded. “Love you,” he muttered as he started to push inside Harry, both of them moaning and grasping for each others hands as their bodies joined together. Louis stilled for a minute, and Harry just allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of being full of his husband. As much as he knew he would have loved making love to Louis, there was something about how it felt to have Louis deep inside him that he loved and he was glad now that they’d done it this way around. “Feel so good baby, love feeling you like this, all tight around me - ah!”

Louis whimpered as Harry clenched down around him. He jarred forwards slightly, changing the angle and making his cock brush against Harry’s spot, making him cry out again. Louis loved seeing Harry like this, falling apart because of it, taking whatever it was Louis wanted to give him. Their eyes met and that was Louis’ cue to move, and he started pumping his hips, the drag of Harry’s warm, tight walls around him something Louis wanted to always be able to feel.

“Mine now, aren’t you?” Louis whispered as he leant over and started to kiss Harry, the pair playing with their tongues, Harry’s hands coming up to tangle in Louis’ hair as his husband moved inside him. “Married you yesterday, told everyone you’re mine, that I love you and we’re forever. Turns me to know you’re mine. Love you so fucking much, want you like this all the time.” Harry wasn’t speaking, he was just nodding frantically at the words tumbling from his husband’s mouth now. He loved it when Louis spoke of commitment and forever with him, and the thought of being the only one Louis got to fuck forever now made him shudder, pulling his husband in deeper with his heels.

“‘M your husband,” Harry moaned lowly, his voice nothing more than a low rumble as Louis started to thrust a little harder. Harry’s own cock was bouncing against his body with each thrust, and each time Louis dipped down to kiss Harry, it grazed Louis’ stomach, sending a spark of electricity up Harry’s spine. He wanted to be touched, but when Louis reached down to touch him, something made him shake his head. “Untouched. Wanna come from your cock, want my husband to make me come.”

“Holy fuck, yeah, okay,” Louis mumbled, licking his lips and starting to up his rhythm now. The tension between them burned brightly, there was a current of want and need flowing easily between them and neither was afraid to say what they wanted, chase what they needed from each others bodies. Harry let his eyes close and concentrated on the feeling of Louis moving inside him, taking him and claiming him. “God Harry, you’re so tight babe, want it so bad don’t you?”

“Yeah, want your come inside,” Harry whispered and Louis bent down, taking Harry’s bottom lip between his own and biting down gently before releasing it. He then turned his attention to Harry’s neck. Usually, he didn't mark Harry up where he couldn’t cover it up but now, now he wanted the world to know what he’d done to his husband, that Louis could touch and mark Harry up however he wanted because he was his.

Filthy images flooded throughout Louis’ mind then, and he sat up, gripping Harry’s slim hips as he started to pound harder, both grunting with the force of each thrust. The headboard was rocking slightly against the wall now, the bed creaking under their movements and it just made Louis want it more. He spread Harry’s legs wider, watching as his cock disappeared into Harry’s body over and over, more than turned on by how Harry’s body stretched to accommodate him.

“Gonna come, gonna fill you up, oh- oh god, oh Harry-” he stuttered on his words as the sensation ripped through his body, making him come hard with a cry of Harry’s name, fingers squeezing hard enough on Harry’s hips to leave bruises later on. Harry moaned as he felt the warmth start to fill him inside, and it was when he opened his eyes to look at Louis frantically thrusting into him, chasing his own orgasm that he came himself, holding Louis’ wrists hard as his cock blurted out hot come all over his body. He started moving his hips as if he were riding Louis’ cock, still buried inside him, and didn't stop, the sensation just too good.

“Fucking hell-” he panted out as he started to slow the way he was riding Louis’ cock, seeing how Louis was biting his lip, probably oversensitive. They stayed connected for a minute until their breathing slowed, and Louis slowly pulled out, not dragging his eyes away from where his come was starting to come out of Harry.

“So fucking hot to see that,” he mumbled, and Harry chuckled to himself, cringing as he let one of his hands fall onto his stomach, forgetting for a second about the come covering his skin. He winced as he hit the sticky liquid and Louis smirked, dipping his head and running the tip of his tongue through it, swallowing it down. “Taste good, husband. Think I might keep you.”

“You’ll only keep me ‘cause my come tastes good?” Harry said, Louis swatting at his arm as they both laughed. Louis laid down next to Harry, flinging a bare leg over Harry’s, staring up at the ceiling. “Seriously though, feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Sex? Yeah babe, that’s kinda the point.”

“No. Well, yeah, sex feels good. But that’s not what I meant. Just… knowing you’ve got forever with the person you love. That feels amazing. That I get to live my life with you, share everything together. Not just sex and stuff, but just… I don’t know, just _living_. Waking up to you, falling asleep with you, being there for you for whatever you need, Lou. Thank you, for marrying me and saying yes when I asked you, and letting me into your life.”

Louis just smiled, running a hand of Harry’s cheek. “Thank _you_ for marrying me and taking me on. I’m not the easiest, I know that, but I love you more than anything. And thank you for taking my last name. I love that you’re my Harry Tomlinson now, even if it just for us for now.”

“Say it again,” Harry said, eyes dark as he stared over at Louis.

“What, Harry Tomlinson?” Harry nodded. “My Harry Tomlinson. My husband.”

“Get your gorgeous arse here,” Harry muttered, reaching over and grabbing Louis, yanking him on top of his naked body again, the sound of laughter filling the house as they tangled together on the sheets once more.

*****

Jacob was brought back by Anne at tea time that night, and she’d hugged both of the men when she’d stepped into the house. She walked slowly around the sitting room, taking in the photos that they’d hung up that afternoon, worn out from three lots of sex that morning, slowly but surely putting their own stamp on their place. She smiled at how photos of Anne, Robin, Gemma and Harry were so easily mixed in with those of Louis and his big family, many of the large group dotted around on surfaces in mismatched frames. It was perfect and showed off how much both men loved their families.

“Bath time you, school tomorrow,” Louis said at the sink as he washed up, not bothering with the dishwasher since there was only a few things.

“I’ll go bath him, you relax,” Harry said, coming up behind Louis and kissing the side of his neck, making him shiver. “Get a glass of wine and watch some telly, I’ll be back in a bit. Love you.”

“Thanks babe, love you too.” Harry strolled out of the room, smiling over his shoulder at Louis before he climbed the stairs, turning on the taps in the main bathroom and pouring in some of Jacob’s bubble bath. He checked the water was the right temperature before he called for the little boy, watching as he stripped off his clothes and jumped in the water. Harry sat down on the closed toilet seat lid and listened as Jacob babbled on for a while about the wedding, his bug hunt with Anne and Robin, and the school trip he and his class were going on later in the week.

“Can you come and be a helper?” he asked all of a sudden, and Harry looked at him, trying to work out what it was Jacob was asking. “Sometimes the teachers need mummies and daddies to come in and help and I told my teacher you could come in and she said yes!”

“Oh, um, maybe you should have asked Daddy first, made sure he was okay with it?” Harry said, quite excited about the prospect but at the same time, a bit nervous into his first foray of involvement with the school like this.

“He won’t mind, he’s in Year 5 anyway so he can’t come cos it’s only for Year 2. Will you come Dad, please? I want to sit next to you on the bus!”

“Well, let me talk to your teacher but I don’t see why not,” he replied with a smile, grabbing the bottle of Johnson’s shampoo and making quick work of washing Jacob’s hair. He cupped his hand at Jacob’s hairline when the little boy tilted his head back, letting Harry rinse the bubbles away as he splashed around in the water. When he was done, Harry hoisted him out under the armpits and stood him on the bathmat, wrapping him in a towel before draining the bath.

He helped Jacob dry off and passed him his clean underwear and pyjamas, letting the boy get dressed as he dried off the floor. As much as he loved performing and being on stage or in the recording studio, he loved this side of his life more now. He loved making Jacob’s lunchbox in the mornings, helping with his homework, doing the laundry and even doing the weekly shop with his boys. He craved domesticity, a sense of normalcy in his crazy life. Tour began again in just a few weeks and he knew that would throw things back up in the air but for now, he was quite content.

He sat on Jacob’s bed, reading him a bedtime story when his eyes sensed movement, looking up to see Louis stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest as he listened. Harry patted the space beside him and Louis climbed on, crossing his legs and resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. Jacob was curled up in Harry’s lap, and he’d never felt more loved, surrounded by his boys.

“Night love,” Harry said, tucking Jacob in once the story was done, Louis repeating the action behind him.

“Night dads,” Jacob said, now liking talking to them as a collective unit now they were married, because apparently that made all the difference. “I love you both.”

“We love you too,” Louis called, letting Harry take his hand and lead him out of their son’s bedroom. “I heard him talk to you about the school trip the week after next, you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll be fun,” Harry said with a grin, pulling Louis into a tight hug right there, in the middle of the landing. “Love when I get to do stuff like this, you know that. Missed out when Jake was little so I’m happy to do it now.”

“You’ll get to do it all with the next one though, don’t worry,” Louis said, getting onto his tiptoes to kiss Harry, smiling at the reaction such a declaration got from Harry. “Come on you, the repeat of Grey’s that we missed the other day is on in a minute. Want a cuppa?”

Harry nodded and followed Louis downstairs with a smile on his face, flicking the TV onto the right channel, and wondered how he got so lucky as to call this his life.

 

 

 

*****

Louis was the last one in the classroom. He was putting away a pile of Maths books that he’d marked after doing an intervention that afternoon for a group of Year 5 who were really struggling with their times tables, and was pleased it seemed to have worked for now. He shoved them into their drawer and put away a few errant pencils and rulers before fetching his bag from the cupboard. He grabbed his phone, frowning at the amount of Twitter notifications he had.

He opened the app, and his heart fell as he started to read all the posts he was tagged in. He felt sick as words like scrawny, ugly, not good enough and pity-fuck jumped out at him from the screen, all hatred directed at him from Harry’s so-called fans. He swallowed and decided to ignore them for now. It was his afternoon off at the after school club, and he headed out into the car park where he knew Harry would be waiting in the car for him with Jacob.

He was a bit quiet all the way home, blaming a headache for his sullen mood and shuffled off to their bedroom once they got home, letting Harry take over with Jacob for a while since they both thought he needed some peace and quiet to cure his headache. As he slumped onto the mattress, pulling Harry’s pillow on top of his own to prop himself into a more upright position, he got his phone out and opened Twitter again.

He knew this was the downside to dating someone famous. Well, he was of course married to him but the fans didn't know that. In that moment, Louis was glad they didn't as he was sure the hatred he would get for marrying Harry would be much worse. It seemed there was a stream of girls who were pointing out every flaw Louis had, from his small height to his beard, even his haircut. They’d zoomed in on pictures of him and Harry, often replacing his face with horrible emojis, and generally wondering why Harry would want to be seen with Louis, let alone kiss or have sex with him.

Louis couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall down his cheeks. He knew they were just jealous, spiteful because he got to be with Harry and they didn't. They only saw him as Harry Styles, the gorgeous popstar, not as the Haz that Louis had fallen in love with, had married. He wiped the tears away roughly, biting back the urge to snap back at them, knowing it would do neither him or Harry any good. He slumped down and shut his eyes, unable to stop the words battering the insides of his eyelids.

He sighed when Harry called up the stairs that dinner was ready, and Louis fixed his hair in the mirror before he sloped downstairs, sliding into his usual chair at the table. Harry had prepared fajitas with Jacob, something Louis usually loved but he really didn't have an appetite that night. He knew Harry had seen his red eyes, and was only grateful he hadn’t brought it up in front of Jacob. Louis managed to eat one fajita, but nothing else, and Harry just looked a little sad, throwing Louis concerned glances, pecking his head when Jacob tucked into his pudding of chocolate mousse.

When Jacob was finally in bed, Harry came back into their bedroom, closing the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring over at his husband.

“You going to tell me what’s up, love? You’ve not been yourself since you got out of work. Something happen today?” Louis shook his head, not lying since it really wasn’t work related. He rolled over, presenting Harry with his back and he sighed as Harry laid down behind him, curling their bodies together and let him take his hand, holding it gently. “I’m worried, Lou. I love you sweetheart, and I just want to help. Please talk to me?”

Louis reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his iPhone, bringing up the awful thread and handing the device over to Harry, who rolled over onto his back so he could read the screen clearly.

“What the actual fuck? Louis, please tell me you don’t believe any of this absolute bullshit? I can’t believe - god, this is disgusting.” He closed the app with a face like thunder and grabbed his own phone. Louis noticed and quickly grabbed Harry’s wrist, stopping Harry before he could do something he would later regret.

“Just leave it Haz. It’s not worth causing a shitstorm for. Just made me feel a bit crap, but I’ll be okay.”

“No, it’s not okay Louis. You’re my husband and I love you, and I won’t stand for so-called fans treating the man I love like this.” Louis smiled to himself at how protective Harry was being. “How can I cheer you up? What can I do for you babe?”

“Bath?” Louis asked quietly, needing just to wallow and relax for a little while. His muscles felt tense, and he knew a nice hot bath would help make him feel a little bit better. Harry nodded and rolled Louis over for a second, pressing a soft and tender kiss to his lips.

“You know I love you, and what they said is absolute shit, right? Not a word of it is true, Lou, and I’m so sorry you had to see that.” He kissed Louis again and walked into the bathroom, the sound of water cascading into the tub filling the room, followed by the smell of the rather expensive bubble bath they liked to indulge in every now and then. “It’s ready sweetheart, come in.”

Louis reluctantly got up off the bed and walked through to the bathroom. He went to lift off his top but Harry shook his head, stepping over and lifting it over Louis’ head himself.

“Let me take care of you, Lou.” Louis allowed Harry to pull off his socks, gently lifting each ankle and throwing the clothes onto the floor. His trousers and boxers followed, and Harry held his hand as he stepped over the edge of the tub, sinking down in the soft pink water, covered with a thick layer of white foamy bubbles. Louis let out an audible sigh as the water enveloped his body. “I’ll leave you to it for a bit-”

“No, stay, please? Come in with me,” Louis asked in a fragile sounding voice, and Harry knew he wouldn’t be able to say no to his husband when he needed him like that. Louis watched as Harry grabbed another towel from the airing cupboard, putting it next to the one he’d already laid out for Louis before he took his own clothes off, throwing them onto the pile of Louis’ stuff in the corner of the room.

He lifted his leg and set it down on the floor of the bath on one side of Louis, watching his husband shuffle forwards enough to let Harry sit down behind him. When Harry was comfortable, long legs stretched out either side of Louis’ body against the edges of the spacious tub, Louis allowed himself to sink back and rest against Harry’s body. It felt nice to be close and intimate like this with Harry after reading such awful things, and Harry absentmindedly stroked his hands over Louis’ tummy under the water.

“Love you baby,” Harry mumbled, the pair enjoying the silence between them as they sat in the water together. “Lou. I know you don’t want to talk about this, and you don’t want me to do anything, but I have to, you know that, right? I won’t just let them do this, because you don’t deserve it. All you’ve done is love me, and you’re the best husband I could ever dream of. I need to make this right, Louis.” Louis nodded, hoping Harry wouldn’t notice the tears gathering in his eyes now.

He must have sensed something because he carefully turned Louis around, pulling him into his lap, kissing them away then. “Louis, don’t cry my darling. It breaks my heart when you cry.” He wiped them away with the wet tip of his thumb, and kissed Louis’ lips gently. Louis let himself get lost in the kiss for a minute, Harry seemingly determined to kiss away every bit of self doubt Louis had.

“Let me tell you what I think about you. Let me replace those words of hurt with my words of love, Lou.” He started with his hands on Louis’ cheeks, stroking softly over his cheekbones as he stared into his eyes. “Your eyes are one of my favourite things about you. They really are a window to your beautiful soul, and I love staring into them when you wake up in the morning. You have the most gorgeous cheekbones in the world, and I just want to kiss them every single second of every day. And your smile… god, Louis, your smile. It makes my heart sing, it really does. You are the most beautiful person in the whole world when you smile, and when you smile at me, I feel like I couldn’t get any happier.”

His hands trailed down, resting gently on Louis’ chest, thumbing gently over the tattoos littered there. “Your chest is my favourite place to rest because it’s where your beautiful heart lives. I love listening to your heartbeat, running my fingers through your soft chest hair as we fall asleep. Your tummy is so perfect as well. I love touching it and grabbing your curvy hips when I make love to you, holding your body still for me.” He squeezed gently then and smiled softly at Louis.

Slowly, his hands sunk below the waterline, resting on Louis’ thick thighs, one of the things that had really hurt Louis when he’d read the girls online mocking them. “Your thighs are so fucking sexy. I love the power you have in them, when you’re running around with Jake, swimming or when you’re riding me.” Louis shivered at that thought, of Harry imagining his thighs as he used his muscles to ride Harry’s body. “They have no fucking idea how sexy they look either side of my body, or when I’m between them… that’s my favourite place to be Lou, between your fucking glorious thighs.” Louis couldn’t stop smiling at that, at the adulation Harry was giving him, and how he knew it was just what Louis needed.

“Your gorgeously delicate ankles… I love the little bones here, when you wear your trousers all rolled up and they peek out… it’s so cute and I love it. You have beautiful little feet, I love massaging them when you’ve had a long day, watching how it relaxes you.” He trailed a fingertip down the crinkled sole of Louis’ foot, making him giggle. “But I’ve saved the best until last…”

He worked his hands slowly up, grabbing at the meat of Louis’ ass. “Firstly, this ass. This ass is mine, and I’m the luckiest guy alive because of that. It’s so curvy and god, the way it looks in your skinny jeans Lou… I just wanna jump you all the time. And it tastes… so… fucking…. Good. I love being inside this ass, I love making love to your ass…. Fucking hell, I’m getting turned on just talking about it.” Louis swallowed heavily, feeling himself get aroused now.

“Last but not least… this.” His hand came around and ran lightly up and down the side of Louis’ hardening cock. “This. This is all mine, and it’s mine forever. I love having your cock inside me, it does amazing things to me. I love falling apart on it, I love it when I get to get my mouth on it, to taste it. Nobody else gets to see this bit but me Lou, but you need to know how much I love it… how much I love you. You are fucking perfect and don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Every inch of you is perfect, and it’s mine, and I want it, want you, forever.”

“Harry…” Louis whispered into the room, getting close, breathing stilted thanks to the fact Harry’s hand was still working over his cock under the water, the gentle lap of water filling the room, interrupting the previous silence. “Harry, I need you, please-”

Harry nodded, understanding what Louis needed from him. He reached around gently and pressed a finger to Louis’ rim, Louis whimpering as Harry pushed it inside his body, stretching him gently, using the water as lube. Louis moaned as Harry started to move it in and out, kissing down his neck at the same time. He was rutting forwards now, trying to find some friction for his cock and Harry stepped in, circling Louis’ cock with his other hand, stroking in rhythm with the movements of his fingers. He pressed a second in, and knew minutes later Louis needed more, letting a third in. Louis threw his head back, a bit overwhelmed at the burn on the intrusion but this was what he needed… he needed Harry to show him how loved he was, how much he was wanted.

“Gonna show you how much you turn me on, how good you make me feel,” Harry whispered as he sucked a love bite onto Louis’ collarbones, mindful as ever to mark him up where only he could see. Louis groaned as Harry grazed his teeth over the thin skin there, biting down carefully before licking over it, soothing over the red mark he’d left. “Wanna be inside you Lou, can I fuck you baby?”

Louis had gone boneless now, draped over Harry’s torso, his arms hanging limply over his shoulders. He let Harry take control of his body, shifting his thighs apart and around his hips as he straddled Harry’s naked body. Sex in the bath wasn’t something they’d tried before, and right now, Louis was wondering why the hell not because he felt totally amazing, totally out of it as Harry jostled them together. Before he pressed inside, Harry pulled back and kissed Louis deeply and with such love, Louis wanted to cry.

“I love you, Louis. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. You know that, yeah? Don’t ever doubt that, please.”

“I don’t, I know you love me…” Louis muttered into Harry’s ear, grinding his hips in slight circles, trying to find Harry’s cock, needing to feel him. “Need you, please…”

“Okay baby, okay,” Harry said, taking his cock in one hand and lining up with Louis’ hole before letting Louis sink himself slowly down on Harry's cock, bottoming out when his ass cheeks reached Harry’s thigh. They both let out shaky breaths as Louis brought their lips together again, moving them together as he started to rock gently on Harry’s cock, the stretch around it so much yet at the same time, just enough. “Feel so good, Lou, fit me so well, made for me, aren’t you?”

Louis started to move his body with more confidence now, chasing the feeling that Harry being inside him gave him. Harry’s hands were on his ass, guiding his movements, and his eyes were staring almost hungrily at Louis’ body, marvelling over his chest, his stomach, his thighs as he moved on him. “Yours, Harry, just yours,” he mumbled, watching himself as Harry started to stroke his cock under the water. It was getting a little rough now, and water was dripping over the edge of the bath onto the floor as they moved together, Harry fucking up harder into Louis.

“Hang on, get on your knees babe, hands on the wall…” Harry instructed, watching as Louis adjusted his position, now up on his knees in front of Harry, wet hands against the cool white tiles of the bathroom wall. Harry planted his feet on the floor of the tub and began to thrust up harder, watching as Louis held himself still, letting Harry fuck into him over and over and over. “Oh my god, look at you. Wish they could see what I see… how fucking good you look taking my cock, letting me love you. You’re so sexy Lou, my sexy husband…”

“Fucking christ,” Louis said, dipping his head to meet Harry’s tilted one, kissing each other like it might be their last. His thighs were burning with the force of trying to keep himself still but feeling Harry move in and out of him like this was almost a religious experience. Water was going everywhere now as Harry fucked up harder and faster, hand working over Louis’ hard cock, determined to make him come. “Harry, oh god, fuck- love you so much, love you, love you-” He started to come, and watching him come like this, so viscerally, did it for Harry as well.

“Gonna fill you up, give you the bit of me no-one else gets Lou, it’s all yours, just yours….” He held Louis’ spent body still as he fucked up hard a few times until his orgasm hit, biting down on Louis’ shoulder so his cries of his husband’s name didn't wake up their sleeping son down the hall. “Oh my- oh Louis, my Louis, beautiful Lou…” Louis started to sob and arched up slightly, letting Harry’s cock emerge from his body before he flopped down against him, the pair buried under the water again. “Baby, are you okay? Lou, please baby-”

“I’m okay,” Louis said between sobs, curling himself as close to Harry as he could, not wanting to ever let go. “Just… you always know what I need. Thank you. For everything you said, for what you did for me. Love you so much.”

“I meant it,” Harry said honestly, stroking a hand through Louis’ wet hair, pushing it back away from his forehead, the other hand wrapped around his waist. “I love you Lou, every single bit of you.”

“As long as you love me Harry, love who I am and how I look... That’s all I need.”

 

 

 


	27. Open Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets to join Jacob's class on their school trip and finds it quite eye-opening. Jacob gets into trouble at school, and Louis sees a few different sides to his husband...

“No, you’re the ones not listening to me!” Harry said in a raised voice, slamming the palm of his hand down on the wooden surface of the table. Louis felt a little shocked at Harry’s outburst. He was usually so cool, calm and collected, so to see him lose control was an unusual thing. He reached a hand across, resting it gently on Harry’s thigh in what he hoped was a calming gesture, and watched as Harry’s eyes flicked over to him. “Look, they’re a bunch of six and seven year old kids, they don’t care who I am. And we’re going to a museum that will be closed for the day, so it’s not like I’m going to be spotted.”

Harry’s management team sat across from him at the table, and looked at each other as they let Harry’s words sink in. Harry had decided to talk to them about the security details that needed to be discussed in order for him to accompany Jacob and their class on the school trip in a few days, but they’d been less than thrilled with the idea. They’d told Harry it wasn’t a good idea, and they’d prefer him to not to go, but Harry wasn’t about to back down.

“Look, apart from the one incident with Jacob in town, everything has always been fine when I go about with Jacob and Lou. People seem to be respectful when I’ve got my kid with me, so I don’t see why this would be any different. I’ve spoken to the school, and they’re happy for me to come and bring Rob along for security.”

“Harry, you’ve got a tour coming in up in three weeks. You’ve barely rehearsed, and to be honest, we want you to think about getting back in the studio for the next album. It seems that you’ve just forgotten about your career since you met your boyfriend and his son…”

“Husband,” Harry corrected, stunning the people gathered around the table. “Oh, that’s right, I married him. And no, I didn't bother telling you because it’s none of your business. Lou and I got married because we wanted to, because we love each other. And no, it isn’t public yet, and we don’t want it to be.”

“Harry, this is getting out of control. First, you put out music without our okay, and now you’ve tell us you’ve married this-”

Harry’s expression was thunderous by now, and if Louis was honest, he felt very uncomfortable and just wanted to leave Harry alone to sort this out. “This what? Because I _know_ you weren’t going to talk badly about my husband in front of me, and in front of him. Have some fucking respect.” One of the women sat at the table leant forwards, clearly trying to diffuse the situation.

“Look, Harry. No one is putting down Louis, we wouldn’t do that. But we do need to think about your career, and what happens from here on out now you’re married. Do you want us to put a statement out-”

“No!” Harry was quick to shout. Both he and Louis had decided that they didn't want their marriage to be public just yet. Harry was wearing his wedding ring on a chain around his neck whenever they went out in public, whereas Louis just transferred his to his right hand, knowing nobody would really notice his jewellery compared to the attention given to Harry’s. “We’ll do it when we’re ready, on our terms. It’s my private business. I give so much of me and my life to the fans, this is something for me, and I want to enjoy being married for a while.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Can we ask if you’re changing your name now you’re married, or is Louis taking yours?” Harry and Louis turned to each other, smiling softly, sharing that secret smile that they seemed to do so more than ever lately.

“Um, Harry’s going to be a Tomlinson, but just in our private life. He’s going to keep Harry Styles for the music side of things, but at home, he’s a Tomlinson now. It was his choice…” Louis tailed off, and Harry picked up his hand, kissing his wedding ring quickly. The woman, Leah, behind the desk smiled at the pair and their easy affection.

“That’s lovely, and when you’re ready to put your marriage out there, we’ll help however we can with whatever you need. But this trip, and the tour…”

“Look.” Louis was pleased to see Harry had calmed down now, and was holding his hand on top of the table, and squeezed it again, reminding his husband that he was there with him. “I want to do this. I’ve been robbed of enough of Jacob’s life, and as his dad, I want to be able to do these things with him. I’ve agreed to security, but this is something I’m going to do, with or without your approval.”

A shudder went down Louis’ spine at the way Harry was taking control of the situation, and telling people exactly what he would be doing, damn the consequences. Harry was usually a fairly submissive person at home with Louis, letting his husband dictate their plans and going along with whatever they were doing, and even in the bedroom, he was happy for Louis to take charge. But this? This was a side to him that Louis was rather enjoying seeing, and tried to bite back the smirk threatening to emerge on his face.

“And as for the music… I’m not going to rush putting out another album just so you can make more money. Louis and I wrote Home together, well he wrote it and I did the music, but releasing it was special for us. When I put it out… it was our wedding day. It was our little way of acknowledging what we’d done, with that song. Yeah, it went to number one around the world, and that’s great, but even if it had flopped, I’d still be just as proud of it. So you’ll get more music when I’m ready to put some out. I’ve got the summer tour coming up anyway, so we can always talk about it after that.”

The management team just nodded, a little surprised themselves at the emergence of this side of Harry. He was usually so compliant, happy to go along with things but now it seemed he was taking charge of his own life. They silently wondered to themselves how much of that was down to Louis’ appearance in his life, and his recent wedding.

“So, we have a deal about the trip? I take one guy, Rob, and I can go. I won’t put it online anywhere, the school are being discrete. The parents get it, you know. They see me as Jake’s dad now, not Harry Styles.” Louis looked down at his buzzing phone, and frowned when he saw it was the school calling. He’d got a few days off thanks to a few late afternoons he’d done, and was making the most of the time with him.

He got up and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him and answered the call. He chatted with the headteacher for a moment, and when he slipped back into the room, Harry was instantly worried. He looked pale, and was biting his lip, and since Harry could read his husband like a book, he knew something was wrong.

“What’s up?” he asked, leaning closer to Louis.

“Um, that was the school. They want to see us about Jacob.” He shrugged, not really having got to the bottom of the problem on the line, Mrs Williamson telling him she’d prefer to discuss it in person. “I don’t know why, but we need to be there soon, sorry love.”

“Don’t ever be sorry, family comes first.” He kissed Louis quickly and turned back to the others, who were by now back in their own discussion. “I’m really sorry but Louis and I have to get to Jacob’s school, they want to see us about something. I’ll be in touch soon about the tour and rehearsals, okay?” He went around and shook everyone’s hands, polite as always before holding the door open, letting his husband walk past. “So what do you think it is?”

“I dread to think,” Louis said, fiddling nervously with his wedding band as they got into the car together, Harry driving this time. “He’s a good boy, I can’t see it’s anything too bad but at the same time, I know parents aren’t called in over nothing.” Harry took his hand and held it all the way to the school, walking up the path with Louis by his side.

“Hi ya Barbara, we’re here to see Lisa,” Louis said, signing in both himself and Harry to the visitor’s book. It felt a bit strange, coming in like this rather than as a member of staff, but he sat down next to Harry, and the pair spoke quietly until they were called in. The Head’s new assistant, who Louis didn't really know since she’d only started a few days ago, came out of her door and called over.

“Mr Tomlinson?”

“Yes?” Louis and Harry both replied, and Harry’s eyes widened comically when he realised what he’d done. It had been the first time he’d acknowledged his new married name in public, and they smiled to each other as they got up, Harry trailing after Louis as they were led into the Head’s office, taking their seats opposite.

“Hi Louis, and you must be Harry,” the older woman across the desk said, shaking Harry’s hand as he nodded.

“Yes I’m Harry, Jacob’s dad and Louis’ hus- boyfriend,” he corrected himself with a smile. He had a feeling he was going to expose them long before he and Louis even got a chance to make the announcement that they were married, and his eyes flitted over to Louis who was trying not to smile at Harry’s hopelessness.

“Can I ask what this is about please, Lisa?” Louis asked, keen to get to the bottom of the matter now. He sat up straight and let Harry take his hand, immediately making him feel a bit calmer in knowing he was no longer facing things like this alone. He had Harry - he’d always have Harry.

“Okay, sorry Louis, of course. This morning at break time, there was a bit of a physical altercation involving Jacob and another boy in his class. You know I can’t tell you who, but you also know I can’t stop Jacob divulging that information when you get him home.” They both smiled ruefully at that, knowing how almost ridiculous that rule was. “Apparently, the other child said something to Jacob which he found upsetting, and they had a bit of a fight about it. Jacob punched the other lad on the cheek, and received a slap himself for it.”

Louis felt stunned. Jacob had never been a physical child, even when he was a toddler and Louis had taken him to playgroup. He’d always been the child tottering around, sharing his toys and giving out hugs freely to the other kids. “Um, what did this other kid say? Jake isn’t a violent boy, you know him Lisa…”

“I do, Louis, but you know we can’t tolerate violence of any kind. I believe the comment was about his other father.”

“Me?” Harry squeaked out, immediately feeling guilty. He hated that something being said about himself had worked Jacob up to such a state that he’d actually hit another child. “What was said?”

“Apparently, the other child didn't believe Jacob when he said his other dad was Harry Styles, implied that Jacob was a liar and was, for want of a better word, delusional.” Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “Jacob was crying after the altercation, and was incredibly apologetic, but Louis, he is going to have to miss some playtimes for this, and write an apology letter in his own time to the other child. The same punishment has been given to the other child as well.”

“Where is Jake?” Harry asked then, wanting nothing more than to see his son.

“He’s with the teaching assistant in his classroom,” the Headteacher said softly, seeing how visibly upset both Louis and Harry were over the development. “I’m sorry to have to bring you both in here for this. You can go in a minute, but before you do, did you manage to sort something out for the trip, Harry?”

“Yes I did, my team have given me the okay to come since it’s not in a public place and the kids will be safe as no-one will know I’m around. I have one security guy with me but he won’t interfere. I promise I’ll just be Jake’s dad for the day, that’s all I want to be there for.”

“Not a problem Harry, we understand and you know we’re more than happy to accommodate you as much as we need to. Jacob is very excited about you joining us.”

“I am, too,” Harry confessed, grinning at Louis then, who returned the smile. “Can we go and get our boy now, please?”

She nodded, and bid them farewell, Louis leading the way down the corridors to the Year 2 classroom. As much as he loved his son’s class, he was looking forward to when Jacob moved into Year 3 in a few weeks time and the classes were shuffled about. Perhaps he wouldn’t be with this boy next year, and anyway, after the trip, no one would have any doubts about who Jacob’s other parent was.

Harry walked in the classroom after Louis, and was stunned by a little boy running full pelt at him, slamming against his stomach, little arms coming up and squeezing him tightly. Harry knew he was getting a bit big to be picked up but he couldn’t resist, needing to comfort both himself and his son now. They hugged quietly for a minute, Jacob’s little arms around Harry’s neck as Louis chatted with his colleague.

“You okay, babe?” Harry asked, and Jacob nodded quietly into his neck, not wanting to move yet. Louis moved around the room, gathering up Jacob’s jacket and rucksack, leading the way out of the school and to the car, Jacob still wrapped around Harry. “We need to have a little chat when we get home love, okay?” Harry asked as Jacob climbed quietly into his seat. It was unusual for him not to have said a word - he was Louis’ son, after all - but Harry knew they needed to discuss the hitting.

An hour later, a sniffling Jacob was sat on Louis’ knee on the sofa while Harry made them some dinner. He’d tearfully explained he was only ‘sticking up for Dad’ when he’d shouted at the boy, insistent his dad and the man on the telly the boy had been watching the other day was the same person. He said he only hit him because he got so angry, and Louis had said sternly that he should never hit anybody. Jacob had cried, and both parents knew their son was genuinely sorry. Jacob sat down after dinner and wrote an apology letter, even getting his special sparkly stickers he’d bought on a trip to Tesco with Harry and plastering them all around the edge of the paper.

Later that night, Harry and Louis were laying in bed, scrolling through their phones, legs tangled under the covers. Both men were too tired to do anything except enjoy each others company. Louis was still trying to find somewhere they could go to for their honeymoon after Harry’s tour, and Harry was answering some work emails, trying to book in a few rehearsal dates for the upcoming tour. It was coming around quicker than he thought, and although he knew the songs inside out, could probably play them on his guitar in his sleep by now, he still wanted to make sure it was perfect. He knew his fans paid a lot of money for his shows, and he always wanted them to leave with a big smile on their faces, having had the time of their lives.

“What about the Maldives?” Louis asked, tilting his phone so he could show Harry a few photos.

“I’ve not been, would be nice to go somewhere new for the both of us,” Harry agreed. “Looks perfect. Could have fun with you somewhere beautiful like that... “ He smirked over to Louis who wriggled his eyebrows a few times, making Harry chuckle. “Seriously though Lou, I don’t mind where we go as long as we’re together.”

“God, you are such a sap, Styles,” Louis said, rolling his eyes as he turned back to his phone. Harry suddenly snatched it and rolled on top of Louis, staring down at him.

“It’s Tomlinson, and yes I’m a sap when it comes to you. Your fault for being so cute and loveable and just…. You.” He bent down and pressed a series of soft kisses to Louis’ lips, the pair easily melting into them, Louis’ arms coming up wrap around Harry’s bare neck. “Don’t want you calling me Styles anymore. Need to tell people soon, Lou, don’t want to hide the fact we’re married from the world for too long, want them to know I’m yours…” He groaned as Louis surged up and started sucking at his neck.

“No, no! Lou, stop. I’ve got the school trip in a few days and I can’t very well take around a bunch of six year olds with a love bite on my neck!”

“Fine,” Louis huffed, quickly flipping them so he was on top of Harry’s thighs and bent down, now sucking into Harry’s chest, determined to mark him in some way. “There you go _Tomlinson_ , better?”

“Much,” Harry smirked as he looked down at the mark Louis had made. It stood out against the pale skin, and Harry loved it. “Do you wanna… um…”

“Do I wanna what?” Louis teased, knowing exactly what it was Harry was asking for, but he enjoyed watching his husband get all flustered like this. “Where’s that dominating Harry I saw earlier in that meeting, huh? Made me all hot seeing you like that… might have to try that between the two of us sometime, see you how you like dominating me...”

“Fuck,” Harry mumbled, arching his hips up, meeting Louis’ and making them both groan. “Do you wanna have sex, Lou?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Louis smiled, reaching down and pulling Harry’s boxers off and taking his husband’s length in his hand, kissing away the moan that fell from Harry’s lips as he pulled Harry’s body against his, ready to show his husband again just how much he loved him. He quickly and efficiently worked Harry open until he was groaning and writhing on the bed, and altered their position so he was knelt between Harry’s spread legs, enjoying how his husband was just letting Louis take charge. “Not trying to dominate me tonight then?”

“Nah, quite like it when you’re in charge - fuck-” he moaned as Louis surprised him by pushing inside, bottoming out in one movement. “Christ Lou, bit of warning next time…”

“You love it,” Louis teased, starting to flick his hips gently, watching every expression on Harry’s face. “Seriously, though. Do you wanna try it sometime? Taking charge in bed, I mean. Think I’d like it, just a bit of fun, yeah?”

“Mmm fuck yeah, sounds good…” Harry mumbled, eyes shut now as he focused on the feeling of Louis moving inside him. “Just… stop talking babe. Make me come. Please.”

“Always so polite,” Louis laughed, leaning down to kiss Harry. “I’ll hold you to that though, Styles - shit! Harry, christ!”

“I already told you once, it’s Tomlinson. You really don’t wanna make me mad, Lou…”

“Oh, don’t I, Styles?” Louis returned with a wink, and shrieked as Harry pushed Louis off, flipping them so he was on top, settling on Louis’ hips. He ground his ass back and forth over Louis’ cock for a minute before reaching behind him, lining up and sinking down. “Bloody hell - you look so fucking good…”

“That’s right. And you won’t forget I’m a Tomlinson now, will you?” Harry smirked down as he started to bounce, Louis grunting each time Harry dropped down on his cock. “Now you’re the one who just has to take it, Lou…”

“Anytime,” Louis said, closing his eyes and letting the ecstasy of fucking his husband wash over him until he came with a cry, Harry following shortly after. As they came down from their amazing orgasms, Louis filed away the fact Harry liked to be teased, almost to the point of being angry, and thought he might quite like to exploit that little fact one day. Until then, he’d just bide his time...

*****

“Okay, now we’ve all been to the toilet, so I don’t expect anybody to ask to go until we at least get to the museum. You’ve all been told who your adult is so make sure you stay with them please. Does anyone have any questions?” Harry glanced around the room, pleased to see all the children sat still and listening. He fiddled with the strip of paper in his hand, listing the group of six children he’d be in charge of for the day.

“Adults, are we all okay with everything for today?” Harry and the other parents stood at the back of the room nodded, and he was grateful that Rob was staying off to the side, keeping out of things as much as he could. The children had been told he was there to keep everyone safe, and luckily, none of them had questioned it at all. “Right, let’s all line up then please. Jennifer, you’re the helper so you get to the front. Make sure you all have your packed lunches and water bottles. We’re going to walk outside quietly and fill up the bus from the back. No moaning about who you sit with please, it’s only a short drive. Miles, you sit with me please.”

Harry hung back as the children got themselves into a line, and joined the other adults as they exited the classroom. One of the mums, Gina, had been talking to him for a little while, and he was grateful for the distraction, feeling a bit nervous about today. Louis had spent the night reassuring him, and had even woken him up with what he’d called a good luck blowjob, although Harry was sure that wasn’t actually a thing. He’d spent too long choosing an outfit for today so in the end, Louis had grabbed a black t shirt and red check shirt, along with his skinny jeans, telling him to put them on which Harry had done.

He stepped up onto the bus and smiled when he saw Jacob sitting with an empty seat beside him, lunch box on it to stop any of his friends sitting down there. “Is this seat taken?” Harry asked and Jacob shook his head, taking the lunch box off and dropping it onto the floor. Harry slid into the seat, shoving his rucksack under the seat and made sure Jacob had his seatbelt on.

“Silly Dad, I saved it for you!” Jacob said, holding Harry’s hand as the engine started up. Harry watched as the teacher walked up the aisle, doing a head count of the children before sitting down herself next to another member of staff. Harry was a bit surprised at the amount of organisation that went into a trip, and had a newfound respect for Louis and the rest of the people in the teaching profession. It seemed teaching wasn’t an easy as many people seemed to think it was.

*****

Three hours later, Harry had even more respect for anyone who chose to spend six hours a day with a room full of six and seven year olds. They were loud. They were excitable. They didn't stop talking and it seemed they constantly needed to wee, although Harry was quite sure most of them just wanted a nosey at the toilets. Kids were weird. He had a headache, his hand was sweaty from being held all morning by either Jacob or one of his friends, and he felt mentally drained.

They were all sitting down in a spare room for lunch now, and Harry had lost count of the amount of yogurt tubes, cartons of juice and sandwich bags he’d helped open. He pulled out the packed lunch Louis had lovingly made him this morning and smiled at the little ‘Love you hubby! Xxx’ note packed inside, tucking it at the bottom as he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. Now he had a few minutes peace and quiet, he pulled out his phone, knowing Louis would be on lunch as well. He tapped out a few messages, smiling to himself at Louis’ replies.

 

 

“Is that Daddy?” Jacob asked, coming over to sit on Harry’s knee. Harry nodded and snapped a quick selfie of the pair of them, sending that to Louis and his mum. “Alfie came and said sorry to me when we got on the bus when he saw you. He said now he knows I wasn’t lying and Harry Styles really is my dad.” Harry chuckled to himself at that.

“Do you want to bring him over to say hi?” he asked, and Jacob looked at him wide-eyed, nodding eagerly. He hopped up and ran over to a little blonde boy, and soon the pair came over and sat in front of Harry with their little lunchboxes. “Hi, I’m Harry, I’m Jacob’s dad,” Harry said with a grin to the boy, watching as he struggled with his straw. “Here, let me help you.”

“Thank you Mr Harry,” the boy said in a soft voice. “I telled Jacob I was really sorry for making him sad the other day and hitting him. But we hit each other and that’s not good. Our school rules say keep your hands and feet to yourself and we didn't. So I’m sorry I didn't believe you was his dad.”

“It’s okay,” Harry said, satisfied that the boys had now both apologised. He chatted easily to the pair of them until it was time for their afternoon sessions with the museum staff. Everyone had been briefed on Harry’s appearance, and he was grateful to be treated exactly the same as the other parent helpers, expected to join in with the dressing up, ran around helping the children with their treasure hunt of sorts, and then was even asked to read the class a chapter from their storybook at the end of the day.

He came out of class holding Jacob’s hand when the bell went, and grinned at Louis, who was leaning against the wall, looking rather handsome if Harry was honest. He stopped in front of his husband, letting Jacob hug him first before he kissed him quickly, not wanting to put on too much of a display in the playground.

“I’m bloody knackered,” he laughed aloud, and Louis grinned himself when he noticed the sparkle in Harry’s eyes, despite his protestations of being worn out. “Don’t know how you find the energy to do this everyday, and then come home to me and Jake as well.”

“I’ve got good motivation to have energy when I get home,” Louis mumbled, winking at Harry, who was desperately trying to ignore his husband’s innuendo given where they were. “Want me to take care of you later, love?” Harry just nodded, looking down at Jacob who was tugging on his sleeve.

“Can we go home, I’m tired and I want some food.” Harry just rolled his eyes at the apparently insatiable appetite of his seven year old.

“Sure, kiddo. You gotta stay, Lou?” Louis nodded and hugged Jacob, then Harry, walking across the car park with them and helping Jacob into his seat. Harry stood by the driver’s door, waiting for Louis and when he came around, he gave him a huge hug, letting him relax in his arms for a minute. It was his favourite place in the entire world, and he knew Louis’ arms was where he always wanted to be. “I had such a good time earlier babe. I mean, it’s tiring but the kids are amazing. I can’t wait for us to have a baby, and watch them grow up, and be able to do all this stuff over again.”

“You’re gonna make such a good daddy,” Louis said with a smile. They might only have been married a few weeks but already, they were talking more and more about the possibility of growing their family, and Louis very much knew it was a case of when, not if. Harry had expressed an interest in having a baby, and Louis wanted to do a little more research before he went to Harry with his ideas.

“See you at home, baby, love you,” Harry called, getting into the car and waving at Louis from his open window. He watched in the rearview mirror as he drove off, Louis waving and not turning around to walk away until his boys had turned the corner, heading home to wait for him.

*****

“This good, love?” Louis said, sitting atop Harry’s bum in the middle of their bed. Harry was stomach down on the mattress, and Louis was massaging his back. Harry had always had a bad back, and a day on his feet, bending up and down off the floor and being with the kids had taken his toll. He’d tried to get Jacob in the bath earlier, but had a twinge so bad he’d had to hobble out and lie down. Louis had taken over bedtime with their son, and once Jacob was asleep, he rolled Harry over and began his massage.

“Sorry this isn’t what you were planning tonight,” Harry mumbled, head down in the pillow, eyes shut and enjoying everything about Louis’ touch over his back. “Fingers feel so good doing that, love you.”

“Ah, yes, you know I have very talented fingers," Louis said with a smirk, teasing as he brought his oily hands down to the top of Harry’s bare ass. Louis hadn’t quite seen the need to get entirely naked for a back massage, but Harry had been insistent, telling Louis he didn't want to get oil on his Calvin Klein boxers, and had shamlessly stripped off, leaving an underwear-clad Louis to sit on his bare backside. Not that Louis was complaining, of course.

“I love you too. Hey, Haz?”

“Mmm?” came Harry’s reply, too relaxed to even attempt words.

“Thank you for today, for going with Jake and his class, I mean. He loves when you get involved with his stuff, and he was so nervous about asking you to go. The fact you stood up against your team and told them you were going regardless meant a lot to me, Haz.”

“I know, but-”

“Hey, let me finish. It meant a lot to me, but it meant the world to him. He loves you so much, and the way you love him, even though he’s not biologically yours, is amazing to me. You’ve just, I don’t know, well, fallen into being a dad so well, like it’s what you’ve always been meant to do. But you go the extra mile for Jake every single day, and it makes me love you that little bit more.”

Harry looked over his shoulder at Louis, who was a little red-cheeked from his declaration now. His palms were still moving over his back so he didn't want to turn over, but he had to say something back.

“Blood doesn’t make you family, Lou. He might not be my son in terms of biologically, but he is in every way that counts. He loves me, and he thinks of me as his dad. He trusts me, and wants me to be there, and there’s nothing I want to do more than make him happy. Making him smile makes me smile, and I love that you gave me a chance to be a dad. I love you for trusting with him, and with you. I’ve always wanted to be a daddy, to have a family and you made my dreams come true.”

“I love you too,” Louis replied, shuffling off Harry’s bum to lay next to him, running the back of an oily finger over his husbands cheekbone. “We’re gonna have babies, Haz. One way or another, I’m gonna make you a daddy again, I promise you that.” He couldn’t miss how Harry’s eyes lit up at that, and decided that soon, they needed to have a real discussion about how to make that happen, how they would bring another baby into their family.  “Love you, Harry Tomlinson.”

Harry reached over to the bedside table and grabbed Louis' wedding ring he'd removed earlier. He took Louis' left hand and slid the ring on, loving how right it looked on Louis' finger. it was the perfect size for his petite fingers, and Harry stared at it for a minute, bringing his own left hand up and lacing their fingers, wedding bands clinking together slightly.

Harry smiled dopily over to Louis again, loving the use of his new name, and leaned over to rub noses with Louis. “Love you too, Lou. Now kiss me, you fool.” Louis laughed and pressed his lips to Harry’s pink ones, the lips he knew would be only one he’d be kissing from now until forever. Nothing made him happier.


	28. The Winner Takes It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry starts rehearsals for his tour and his boys tag along, Jacob has Sports Day which brings out the competitiveness in the Tomlinson men, and Harry celebrates his first Father’s Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one! :)  
> Thanks for still being here 27 chapters in :)

“And that’s where Medicine is going to go, right?”

Harry looked down to his setlist, taped to the floor in front of him and nodded. “Yeah, sounds right to me. What do you guys think?” They all agreed with him, Clare tinkling a familiar tune on her keyboards while Mitch switched out guitars for the next song.

“Um, Medicine?” Louis called out from his seat in front of the mock stage, looking a bit confused. He’d sat with Harry and planned the whole thing a few weeks ago, and he didn't recall any mention of a song called Medicine. He watched as Harry’s cheeks reddened, his husband smiling coyly over at him now. “Am I missing something? We didn't have a song called that in the set list, is it an old one or something?”

“Not exactly…” Harry tailed off, putting his guitar back on its stand before wandering over to Louis. He stood between his parted legs and bent down, kissing on the top of the head. Jacob was sat at a table at the side with Adam’s wife and her children who had come along to watch the rehearsal as well since it was a weekend. It was good for Jacob to play with other children, and it gave Harry and Louis a few minutes respite as well.

“It’s a dirty song!” Mitch called from where he stood chatting to Clare, and Harry threw him a death stare.

“Shut your face Rowland, or I won’t be buying you anymore of that expensive red wine you like!” Harry called over, and Mitch just stuck his tongue out in reply. Louis laughed, happy to see Harry back with his band, people he’d started to get much more friendly with himself now. He’d done his best to get to know them since they’d be spending a lot of time together when they headed off to Europe in two weeks, and all four of Harry’s band members were just such nice, normal people, and Louis knew they’d all get on.

“Harold… are you gonna tell me?”

“How about… I show you?” Harry said, looking down at Louis, a bit turned on by how Louis was looking at him from under his eyelashes. They both jumped from their intense stare as Adam’s wife Emi came over, resting a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“Do you guys mind if I take Jacob with me and the kids to the park? They’re getting a bit bored being cooped up and the weather is great, I’ve got enough in our picnic for Jacob too, if it’s okay with you?”

Louis watched as Harry smiled and nodded, thanking her. Jacob ran over and hugged his dads goodbye before he skipped out of the room holding Emi’s hand, her young son Spike holding Jacob’s other. His heart melted at the thought that one day, perhaps in the next few years, Jacob might be holding his own brother or sisters hand, and he smiled up at Harry, pretty sure his husband was thinking along the same lines.

“So. Medicine.”

“Yeah, just… just sit there and we’ll play it, okay? Love you Lou.” Harry bent down and kissed Louis quickly before he heading back to the stage area. The room reverberated with the sound of the guitars kicking in, and Louis immediately felt a tingle at the rawness of the sound. Harry had his eyes shut and was up close against the microphone stand as he began to sing.

 _“Here to take my medicine, take my medicine_  
_Treat you like a gentleman_  
_Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline_ _  
Think I’m gonna stick with it_

 _Here to take my medicine, take my medicine_  
_Rest it on your fingertips_  
_Up to your mouth, feeling it out_ _  
Feeling it out_

 _I had a few, got drunk on you and now I’m wasted_ _  
_ _And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you…”_

Louis’ jaw dropped as Harry’s lyrics tailed off, leaving him to fill in the blank with his imagination. He was, however, a bit stunned already by the song, and continued listening, keen to see where Harry was going now.

 _“If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive_  
_You got that something, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it_  
_We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_  
_La la la la la_ _  
_ _We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_

 _Tingle running through my bones, fingers to my toes_  
_Tingle running through my bones_  
_The boys and the girls are in_  
_I mess around with him_ _  
_ _And I'm okay with it_

 _I’m coming down, I figured out I kinda like it_ _  
_ _And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you…”_

Louis was stunned. There was no other word for it. How had he never heard this song before? When had Harry written it? There was too many questions he wanted answers to, but at the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but stare at the vision that was his husband grinding up against the mic stand in front of him, lost in the words of his own filthy song.

 _“If you go out tonight, I’m going out ‘cause I know you’re persuasive_  
_You got that something, I got me an appetite; now I can taste it_  
_We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh_  
_La la la la la_ _  
_ _We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh”_

Harry started clapping along now to the beat of Sarah’s drum and the guitars, and as he sang the final chorus, Louis coughed slightly, adjusting himself in his trousers where he felt himself getting far too turned on by what he was seeing. He couldn’t believe Harry had written a song like this, about… well, _that,_ but he’d done it. As the song ended, Louis cheered and applauded wildly, the door swinging open at the back of the room when Niall entered.

“Okay guys, let’s take a break,” Harry said, and his band put their instruments down, all wandering off together to their bags, checking their phones and grabbing something to eat while they had time. “You like it then, babe?”

Louis just stared at Harry. He wasn’t sure there was enough words to describe exactly how much he liked it, and he locked eyes with Harry, neither wanting to break the gaze between them. “Um… yeah, I…” Louis stuttered as Harry stepped closer, resting his hands on Louis’ hips, sliding gently up under the hem of the t-shirt he’d pulled on this morning.  “Harry, seriously?”

“What?” Harry questioned, looking down at Louis with a puzzled expression. “You didn't like it, did you? You can be honest, I won’t be upset. I can take it out of the set-”

“No! You can’t take it out, it was - god, I don’t even know what that was, those lyrics are fucking filthy,” Louis continued, desperately searching his mind for the right words. “Harry, did you seriously just sing a song about sucking dick that you’re gonna perform on stage in front of thousands of people? 

“Well, not just any dick,” Harry said with a smirk, winking at Louis. “Was kind of your dick I was thinking of when I wrote it.”

“Fucking hell,” Louis muttered under his breath, dropping his gaze to the floor now. “Medicine. That’s a euphemism for come, right? You wrote a song about sucking my dick and swallowing my come. Fuck.”

“I did do that, yes, and you love it,” Harry teased, ghosting his lips over Louis’ now, his own arousal becoming prominent in his too-tight jeans. “Now stop it or I’m gonna wanna get some medicine sooner than I planned…” Louis thumped his arm at that point, trying to ignore the sniggers of Mitch who had quite clearly heard every word of their conversation.

“Save it for later,” Louis whispered and Harry nodded, sliding a hand between their bodies to try and arrange himself a bit, so he wasn’t indecent in front of his band and his tour manager. Niall was sat at a table at the other end of the room, and as the band drifted back over, Louis headed off to sit with him, talking through aspects of the tour with Niall, and what was going to be happening. It was a bit daunting for Louis. He had no idea how much went into the planning of a tour like this, and he had a new found respect for his husband and the people that lived life on the road. He was glad, though, that Harry was limiting this tour and keeping it shorter so his family could travel with him. Louis couldn’t imagine how he’d cope if Harry disappeared for months on end.

After a few more songs were sung, Emi and the children returned, looking red-cheeked and sweaty from their time running around in the sunshine.

“Dad! I’m back, Dad!” Jacob called, rushing over and hugging Harry, almost braining himself on the guitar that was hanging across Harry’s body. Harry hugged him back and crouched down, listening to Jacob tell him all about how he’d managed the monkey bars by himself, kissing his little red palms better when Jacob held them out to him. Louis just watched on fondly, not even minding that Jacob had run over to Harry first. In fact, he quite liked how close his two boys were, that Jacob loved Harry just as much as he loved Louis now.

“Dad, did I miss Only Angel?” Jacob asked, hands on his hips as he looked at the band.

“Nope, waited for you because I know that’s your favourite,” Harry said with a grin, and looked around at the band who nodded, knowing what to do. There was no choir intro so instead Clare played a quick bit on the keys before the other instruments kicked in. Harry walked to the back of the stage and grabbed a spare microphone, handing it to Jacob and taking his free hand as he started to sing.

Louis grabbed his phone and started to record, watching Harry rehearse his most famous hit with his son by his side, singing wildly out of tune but looking like he didn't have a care in the world. Just over a year ago, he and Jacob were stood in the pit at the Manchester Arena, watching this singing superstar blast out this song, commanding the attention of the room. But now? Now, Louis was married to said singing superstar, he’d become a second father to Louis’ son, and he was heading out on tour with him. Louis realised then that life really didn't get much better than this.

Harry stopped singing on the last chorus and hung back, letting Jacob dance around the stage, singing the lyrics loud and proud. He still got the words wrong, but everyone in the room was smiling at the happy little boy, and as Sarah brought the song to a close with a crash of the cymbals, Harry and Jacob took a bow, everyone applauding and cheering the little duo.

“You are so amazing,” Harry said to his son, picking him up and letting Jacob wrap his little legs around his waist. Jacob leant forward and kissed him, the biggest of grins on his face. “Love you, Jacob, so much. You make me so happy and I’m so glad you’re coming on the tour with me.”

“Me too, Dad. I love you. I love you as well Daddy!” Jacob hated leaving one of his parents out, and always made sure to tell them he loved them both regularly throughout the day. “This is going to be the best summer ever! I can’t wait!”

The band got up and started to gather their things, time at rehearsals done for the day. They were meeting again later in the week for a full run through while Louis and Jacob were at school, but for now, everyone was happy and knew what they were doing. They were all professionals, and Harry had every confidence things would go without a hitch. Louis was getting their things together too, shoving Jacob’s hoodie into a bag along with his water bottle and Harry’s various notebooks and tin of plecs.

“Lou?” Harry called, and Louis looked up, Harry beckoning him over, acoustic guitar now set across his body. “Wanna sing with you, just quick?”

Louis smiled, nodding as he knew what Harry wanted to sing with him. Jacob jumped away from the stage area and sat on the floor, cross-legged like he did at school, watching his parents take a seat on a couple of stools that Louis brought over. Harry started strumming, leg touching Louis’ as he started to sing Home with him.

They sounded magical together, and part of Harry was desperate to perform the song on tour, maybe even with Louis. He was sure Louis would hate the idea, but a guy could dream, right? He sung from the heart, every word directed to Louis. This song would always mean the most to him, not only because it was Louis’ words for him, but because they released it on their wedding date, and it shot to Number One. No-one except them knew the significance of it, and somehow, that made it better.

Louis’ beautiful voice finished the final chorus on his own, Harry silencing himself, enjoying Louis’ tone, the raspiness that he always had that he loved so much.

 _“And it's alright_  
_Calling out for somebody to hold tonight_  
_When you're lost, I'll find a way, I'll be your light_  
_You'll never feel like you're alone_ _  
I'll make this feel like home”_

Harry just leaned in and pressed his lips to Louis as he strummed the final chord, Jacob sat clapping at the pair. He parted from the kiss and let his head rest against Louis’ for a second, heart feeling so full he thought he might burst.

“I love you. I want to sing that with you, Lou. Want to show the world how beautifully you sing…”

“I don’t know Haz, you’re the singer, not me.”

“No pressure love. I get to hear you sing it though, and that means the world to me. Just for us, yeah?” Louis could see the wistful look in Harry’s eye, how he was trying to mask his slight flash of disappointment for Louis’ benefit and he kissed him again, trying to make it alright. Singing in front of his husband and son was one thing, but an arena full of people that had paid to see Harry? No thank you.

“Speaking of home, off we go,” Harry said with a smile, passing his guitar to Jacob who carefully lowered it in its case, zipping it up after Harry chucked his plec into it.

“It’s my favourite,” Jacob said, stumbling as he tried to pick up the case which was as big as he was.

“What is?” Louis asked, hoisting their bags onto his shoulder, smiling as Harry slipped his hand into Louis’ as they left the rehearsal space.

“Our home,” Jacob answered. “My home with you and Dad. It’s perfect.”

*****

Harry had a bit of a sore throat later thanks to all the singing, his vocal chords not quite used to being used for an extended period like they were today. He’d been resting them ever since he’d gotten home, Louis insistent on making dinner so he could rest. He’d eventually gone to fetch his boys for dinner, smiling at the sight of Jacob and Harry curled up on the little boy’s tiny single bed, Jacob making up a story for Harry to make him feel better.

Jacob had been tired after the excitement of the day as well, and his run around in the sunshine, so he’d happily gone to bed after their lovely meal of pasta and meatballs cooked by Louis, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. There was nothing much on TV so Louis and Harry decided to retire to bed early as well, both needing a bit of a cuddle.

“So, you think the tour’s gonna be good?” Harry whispered, desperate for conversation with his husband after hours of silence. He swallowed, pleased the majority of the soreness seemed to have abated now. “I’m really excited, Lou.”

“You’re gonna be amazing, babe,” Louis said, leaning more into Harry’s body and kissing him. “Your band are so talented as well, and such nice people. You think Clare might help me with my piano playing? I used to play a bit at school and I’d quite like to get back into it.”

“Yeah, I bet she would, just ask her,” Harry said with a grin, already imagining how good Louis would look behind a piano, delicate fingers moving easily over the black and white keys while he sang a beautiful melody of some kind. He shivered involuntarily at the thought. “Ooh, sorry, didn't mean to kick you love.”

“S’ok,” Louis mumbled, shifting back slightly as he looked at his husband. “That new song though, Haz. I mean, are you really okay singing that in front of people? People aren’t daft, if I worked out it’s about oral, then they are as well.”

“Nothing wrong with singing about sex, Lou. I’m a married man and I enjoy sex with my husband. I’m not ashamed of that fact, babe. Do you not want me to sing it?” Harry frowned, his cute little frown lines prominent on his forehead now. Louis couldn’t resist reaching a hand up to touch them.

“Well,” he began. “I don’t mind the world knowing you like sucking my cock. But…” Harry looked slightly worried then, and Louis decided to put him out of his misery. “I can’t promise I’m not gonna get hard every night I hear you sing about tasting my medicine…”

“Fuck, you’re so hot…” Harry mumbled, reaching behind Louis and grabbing his ass cheeks, pulling their bodies flush together. “I’ve still got a sore throat Lou…”

“I know, babe. You should stop- _oh._ ” He realised what Harry meant by the dirty smirk across his face, and the fact Harry’s hands were working their way inside the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down, letting his half-hard cock spring free. Louis groaned as Harry’s hand wrapped around him, stroking slowly. “You wanna suck me off?”

Harry just nodded, surging forwards to kiss Louis, wasting no time in dipping his tongue in Louis’ mouth, seeking out his tongue. They kissed like that for a few minutes as Harry’s hand worked over Louis, getting him to full hardness, his own cock tenting his underwear now, but Harry left it, determined to get himself off just from sucking Louis’ cock tonight. There was something about singing that song to Louis that did it for him, that he was brave enough now to write a song about oral sex with his husband and perform it in front of thousands of people. He shuddered and pushed the covers away, taking a second to admire Louis’ length in his hand.

“Look so good baby, can’t wait to taste you,” Harry rasped out, voice low and needy as he slid down the bed, kissing down Louis’ bare torso as he made his way down, licking and sucking at the soft skin, marking him up. As he got close to Louis’ crotch, he nuzzled at the crease between his hip and thigh, smelling the musky scent that was just so Louis. He loved it and could never get enough of Louis’ natural smell.

He parted his lips and licked his tongue out across the pink tip of Louis’ cock, watching as Louis thrashed about, fingers gripping at the sheet underneath him, already feeling sparks of pleasure flood his body. Harry opened his mouth and sucked in just the tip, his hand still wrapped around the base, squeezing gently, just as he knew Louis liked. Louis’ hands came up then and tangled in Harry’s hair, guiding his movements gently.

After a few minutes of sucking and licking, teasing with his hand, Harry tapped on the side of Louis’ leg, a mutual action between the two of them that told Louis exactly what he wanted. Louis’ eyes widened, and he stared down at Harry, still seeking his okay. Harry nodded as best he could with his mouth stuffed full of Louis’ dick, and Louis brought his legs up, planting his feet up on the bed as he started to rock his hips, fucking Harry’s mouth slowly and cautiously.

Harry’s fingertips were digging into the soft flesh of Louis’ thigh as he lost himself in the sensation, of Louis’ cock bumping the back of his throat at one particularly deep thrust, and he groaned, knowing how much Louis loved the feel of that around him. He let Louis keep moving, chasing his own orgasm as Harry rutted against the bed, the friction of his own ignored cock almost too much now.

“Fuck, gonna give it to you baby, give you what you need,” Louis mumbled almost incoherently as he felt the familiar bubble in his stomach. “So close, you want it love?” Harry looked up with watering eyes, and that sent Louis hurtling over the edge, coming hard inside Harry’s mouth. He struggled to keep his eyes open, watching Harry swallow frantically around him, taking everything Louis gave him. He sucked a few more times before popping off and licking his lips, kissing the tip of his cock again.

Louis laid his legs down and cringed when his ankle hit a wet patch, and he laughed as he realised Harry had come just from sucking him off. “You dirty boy,” he mumbled, pulling Harry up and into his arms. Harry kissed him suddenly and deeply, Louis moaning when he tasted himself on Harry’s tongue. They were both sweaty again by now but neither could be bothered to move, Harry flopping down on Louis’ body instead.

“Love you,” Harry said softly, running his fingertips over Louis’ chest. “Now you can see why I just had to write a song about that. It’s practically a religious experience Lou, sucking you off. I love it.”

“Me too, babe, you’re too good at it really,” Louis said, giggling at Harry’s proud face. “At least I’m the only one who gets to benefit from your great cock sucking skills now.” Harry nodded eagerly at that statement.

“Only one for me, forever,” he said, unable to stop himself from being soppy with Louis as usual. “Love you so much, Lou. My Lou. My hubby.”

“Night night Haz, love you baby.”

“Say it.”

“No. Go to sleep.”

“Say it, Louis. Please.”

Louis sighed and rolled his eyes, secretly endeared by Harry’s love of hearing it still, at how much of a novelty it still was.

“Goodnight Harry Tomlinson. Love you.”

“Thanks babe. But… Lou?”

“What is it, love?”

“I love you more. Never forget that.”

*****

“GO JACOB! RUN! COME ON SON!” Harry screamed from the sideline, far too competitive over the primary school sports day. He’d proudly rocked up that morning at the school with Louis and Jacob, eager to watch his son’s first sports day. Well, the first sports day he got to attend as Louis’ husband and Jacob’s dad, anyway. He’d secured them good trackside seats, and Louis had been smiling all morning at how easily Harry fitted in.

He’d talked to lots of different parents, making conversation about anything and everything, and he appreciated how people weren’t prodding into his career, treating him no differently than they’d treat any parent there. They’d walked around watching the various activities, holding hands as they watched Jacob try his hand at the long jump, football goals, skipping and more, Harry proud of everything his son did.

“Oh my god, Lou! HE DID IT! HE WON! That’s my boy!” Harry shouted, blushing when he realised many of the other parents were staring at him, fond smiles on their face at his excitement. “Oops, sorry. I’m getting a bit carried away…”

“No, it’s lovely, you’re a great Dad, you know,” Louis said, grinning as he spotted Jacob running towards them, a little plastic gold medal hung around his neck.

“Look Daddy! Look Dad! I came first, and I got a medal!” He jumped onto Harry’s lap then, arms winding around his neck and squeezing tightly.

“So proud of you,” Harry mumbled into his neck, although he knew even if Jacob had come in last, he’d still be mumbling the exact same words of pride. “You ran so fast! Your little legs were like a blur, you were that super quick. And our practise skipping paid off didn't it, you were really good today love.” Harry kissed him and smiled as he climbed off onto Louis’ lap, wanting to share his hugs.

“Well done love, we can hang your medal in your room,” Louis said, wrapping his arms around his son, heart full of pride for him. “Nearly lunchtime, then you can sit with me and Dad and have our picnic. Dad made lots of lovely stuff this morning, you wait, it looks delicious!”

They stopped talking as announcement came over to the PA system that had been set up for the day, calling Dads over for the Dads race.

“Oh please do it, you have to do it!” Jacob cried, grinning at both Louis and Harry now who were eyeing each other up across the chairs. “Come on, I want to see who will win!”

“But you’ll be on your own, I’ll stay here with-”

“Oh no you don’t Lou,” said one of the Mums Louis had known for a while who was sat just across from them. “Off you go, Jake can sit with me and Kate while you and Harry run.” She winked at him, Louis internally groaning, wishing he could get out of this.

“Oh. Thanks so much,” he said, and Harry laughed loudly at his insincerity. He stood up, tying the lace of his trainer before he and Harry held hands, making their way over to the start line. They stood next to each other, and Harry leaned over, kissing Louis on the lips in front of everyone, not caring.

“Don’t worry, I won’t ask for a divorce if you beat me, Lou,” Harry said, waggling his eyebrows comically at him. “Good luck sweetheart.”

“You’re the one who needs luck,” Louis mumbled, his competitive streak coming out now. He got ready, waiting for the countdown and as the man on the PA shouted “Go!”, he shot off the line, legs pumping wildly. He could sense his husband next to him, long legs giving him a slightly advantage but Louis had power in his from all the years of playing football.

They chased down the line, the sound of screaming children and adults filling the air. Just as they got to the end line, Louis could sense Harry slip past him, pipping him to the post. They slowed down, crashing against the fence at the end with the other dads, and Harry had a huge grin on his face. He dashed over to Louis, picking him up and kissing him roughly as he twirled him around.

“We did it, Lou! First and second! Well done baby!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis muttered, wriggling out of his hold and stalking over to grab the blue second place sticker, Harry proudly sticking his red First Place! one on his chest. Louis ignored him with a roll of his eyes and headed back to Jacob and their seat, chest heaving with the force of his breaths. He flopped down, Jacob sitting on his thigh then, hugging him.

“Well done Daddy, you did good!” the little boy said with a toothy grin before Harry sat next to them, wrapping an arm loosely around Louis’ shoulders.

“Hey, you okay?” Harry said, a little worried he’d genuinely upset Louis. “Babe?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just a sore loser,” Louis admitted, reaching across and taking Harry’s offered hand, squeezing it gently.

“Hey, it’s still a Tomlinson win, right?” Harry grinned, speaking lowly into Louis’ ear, his words provoking a grin from his husband. “There’s that gorgeous smile. Come on babe, doesn’t really matter does it? Here, have my sticker.” Harry peeled off his sticker and put it on Louis’ t-shirt on top of his own second place one. “There. You’re always first in my eyes anyway. Love you.”

“Love you too, you soppy git,” Louis grinned at him, watching Jacob get down off his lap and start rifling through the picnic bag Harry had put together. “I think someone’s hungry. Come on Tomlinson’s, let’s go eat.”

Harry didn't even care who might have heard those words as he took his son’s hand and followed his husband across the sunny field, feeling he was probably more excited than anyone else in attendance at the thought of a simple picnic with his little family. It really was the little things in life that made it worth living, Harry thought to himself as he watched Jacob munch on a cucumber sandwich, Louis picking up a few bits and putting them on a plate, handing it to Harry with a soft smile. The little things meant everything.

*****

“Is he awake?” Jacob stage-whispered, and Harry bit back a smile, trying to keep a straight face and act as if he were still asleep while he felt Louis move in the bed next to him.

“Well he will be if you keep talking that loudly,” Louis mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his own eyes. It was Father’s Day now, two days after sports day, and Jacob had been beyond excited about today. He knew it was Harry’s first one, and he was determined to make it special. He’d insisted on making a homemade card rather than one from Tesco, and had asked Louis if he could help make Harry a special lunch too, Louis easily agreeing.

He’d spoken to his mum at length about today, that while he knew it was his Father’s Day too, it was more special for Harry than it was for him, and he wanted Harry to remember this one forever. It was the first of many, yes, but the first one was always the most special. He glanced down, seeing Harry’s eyes flutter open and his husband mouthed ‘Morning’ at him, a soft smile on his sleepy face.

Harry rolled over and Jacob’s face lit up as he climbed onto the bed, careful of how he climbed over Harry’s body. He changed tack halfway and laid down on top of Harry’s t-shirt clad chest, resting his head above his heart, listening to the thud of his heartbeat.

“Happy Daddy’s Day,” Jacob said, holding Harry’s hand with his own. “I’m super lucky cos I got two daddies for today, but it’s your first one so that makes it more super special.” Harry hugged him tightly then, already moved by Jacob’s words, and felt Louis trace his fingers over his side.

“Happy Father’s Day, love,” Louis said, leaning forward to peck Harry’s lips. They locked eyes for a moment, Harry wincing as Jacob scrambled off, grabbing the little gift bags he’d left by the door. They all sat up on the bed then, both dads with a bag in their laps, matching grins on their faces. Louis emptied his bag first, smiling at the expensive aftershave he’d been coveting that Harry had sneakily bought for him, and the gorgeous photo keyring he’d had made. It had a family photo on it taken on their trip to America on one side, one from their wedding of the three on the other. It was perfect, and made Louis quite tearful.

Jacob jumped off the bed again and picked up a box from the floor, practically throwing it at Louis in excitement.

“Oops! Sorry Daddy! Open it!” he squeaked as Louis started tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside were a custom pair of Vans, decorated in the Marvel superheroes and what looked like several of Jacob’s drawings too.

“Oh my god,” he mumbled, lifting them out of the box. He turned them around in his hands, marvelling over the drawings, how he knew no one else in the world would have anything like them. It was such a thoughtful present, he felt bowled over. “How - I mean, my god, thank you, both of you.” He kissed both boys who were smiling at each other, pleased their present had gone down well.

“You’re welcome, my love,” Harry said, taking his own bag which Jacob had picked up and was thrusting at him now. “Okay, okay, my turn I guess.” He smiled at the usual Father’s Day presents, but they meant so much since he’d never been lucky enough to get any of these things before, and Louis knew that. There were some ‘Number One Dad’ socks, a keyring, a mug and even a little certificate Jacob had signed, ‘My bestest Dad Harry Tomlinson’ written proudly across the top. Harry knew he was going to frame it and hang it in their house somewhere.

He took out a small box then, frowning slightly at it. He knew small boxes meant expensive presents, and he hoped Louis hadn’t spent too much money on him. His money was Louis’ money now, of course, but still, Louis had been insistent on using his own wages to buy gifts for occasions like this and Christmas. He cracked open the lid and gasped at what was inside.

It was a silver ring, with leaves pressed into the metal all around. Jacob grabbed for it and lifted it out then, sitting himself heavily down in Harry’s lap as he grabbed his hand.

“Look, I choosed it Dad. The leaves match your tattoos and me and Daddy got the jewellery shop man to write inside. See?” He tilted it and held it so close to Harry’s eye it was just a blur. Harry chuckled and moved it back to a more visible distance, gasping slightly. Inside were the words _Louis, Jacob and Harry_ with a small heart at either end. Jacob lifted his hand and slid in on the middle finger of Harry’s right hand. “Daddy it fits, yay!”

“Lou, thank you baby,” Harry said, voice full of emotion now. “I love it, it’s - god, it’s perfect baby. Thank you, both of you. My perfect little family.” He wrapped his arms around both of them then before sitting back and shuffling Jacob out of his lap so they were facing each other. “I got you something too, Jake.”

“But it’s a day for me to give you stuff!” Jacob protested, looking at Louis in confusion. “I’m not a Daddy!”

Harry laughed along with Louis, ruffling his son’s hair then with his right hand, smiling down at his new precious piece of jewellery. “No but you’re the one who made me a Dad, so I wanted to get something for you too.” Louis knew about this of course, but swallowed heavily, waiting eagerly to see Jacob’s reaction. Harry lifted the hem of his t-shirt pulling it off and holding out his left arm so Jacob could see.

His little blue eyes raked over the tattoos and when he saw it, he gasped and leaned in, little fingers holding Harry’s arm still.

“That’s - that’s my name! You got my name on you. Woah…” Jacob couldn’t drag his eyes away from where _Jacob_ was written in cursive letters over the arch of Harry’s forearm, bold and proudly displayed for everyone to see, just above the anchor tattoo he had for Louis. Jacob’s fingers came up and pressed over it, being gentle as he remembered it hurting Louis when he used to get tattoos. “I love it. I really do, so much, Dad.”

“Wanted you to know you’re my boy forever, and that you mean the world to me. I can show everyone now that you’re my son all the time, when I’m on stage onr on TV, and they’ll know how special you are. You made me a Dad, Jacob, and I love you so much.” Louis teared up as he watched his husband and son embrace, both emotional from Harry’s gesture. They’d talked it through, how determined Harry was to have Jacob’s name on his body, and Louis was so moved by it, and had even watched him have it done while Jay had had Jacob for a weekend.

“Right, Father’s Day pancakes all round!” Louis called, clambering onto the floor, grabbing his shorts from the armchair in the corner of the room, Jacob dashing ahead of him, shouting “I’m helping Daddy!” Harry stopped Louis in the doorway before he could get out, and looped his arms around his waist, bending his head to kiss him softly. “You okay? Like your ring, then?”

“It’s beautiful, Lou. Almost as beautiful as you.” He smiled and kissed Louis again. “Jake loved the tattoo as well. I’m so pleased, I thought he would.”

“Means a lot, you know, that you got our boy tattooed on your skin forever, love,” Louis said honestly, stroking his hands over Harry’s hips. “It really does. That’s a huge commitment.”

“I’m committed to him, to you and our family. Even if, god forbid, something happens between us, he’ll always be my son Lou. I’m not just around for him because I have to be or whatever. He’s my son, now and forever. Just like you’re my husband, now and forever. I promise you that.”

“I know,” Louis said, believing every word that came out of his husband’s mouth. “But these pancakes aren’t going to cook themselves!” They ran downstairs, giggling like a couple of school children, stopping in the kitchen to see Jacob had lined up everything they’d need for the pancakes on the worktop with a proud smile on his face. “Wow, good lad! Already prepared for me,” Louis said, walking over and grabbing the frying pan from the cupboard. Harry stood at the opposite side, watching them work.

“Daddy? Dad?” Jacob asked, a curious expression on his face now. “Can I ask you something and do you promise not to get mad at me?”

“Um, sure,” Louis said, shrugging as he spooned a ladel of batter into the pan, listening to the sizzle. He reached for his glass of orange juice Harry had just handed him, and went to sip as Jacob asked his question.

“What’s a dildo?” Louis nearly spat out his mouthful of juice across the room, and his eyes flew open, locking on Harry’s equally shocked ones. “I guess it’s a bad word cos the teachers got mad when they heard it in the playground but I don’t know what it means. What is it? What’s a dil-”

“Argh, don’t keep saying it,” Harry said, clapping a hand over Jacob’s mouth now, looking at Louis out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t help but notice the deep red blush that had set in on his husband’s cheeks, and the way Louis was refusing to meet his eye. “Um, it’s a grown up thing, love. Something you don’t need to worry about until you’re at least 18.”

“Yeah, um, don’t worry about it,” Louis mumbled, his attention still on the frying pancakes. “Just… don’t go around saying it, okay? It’s not something children need to be saying.” He turned around and saw Harry release Jacob, who went to set the table.

“Thanks for not being angry!” he called with a smile, taking the tablemats from the sideboard and setting them down in their places, standing the Father’s Day cards he’d made in the middle of the table. Harry watched him and stepped over to Louis, touching his shoulder gently to get his attention.

“You okay, love? You’ve gone very quiet since Jacob asked about dildos…” Harry watched Louis’ reaction, looking for any sign of emotion from his husband. “Has it upset you? Or…”

“No, Haz, I’m not upset,” he began, still blushing. “I don’t, um, don’t wanna talk about stuff like that really, not now anyway…” Harry’s mind was suddenly pulled away to Louis’ refusal to answer the sex toy questions when they’d played Twenty Dirty Questions with the boys a few weeks ago, and it dawned on him that maybe Louis had a secret or two of his own he was keeping from Harry. “I - well, I… nah, it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh it does matter, it matters very much,” Harry rumbled lowly into Louis’ ear. “We will _definitely_ be talking about this later. I don’t forget things like this, Lou…” He watched as Louis swallowed heavily, turning back to the pan and adding more mixture, having scooped out the done pancakes onto a plate for Jacob. “Squirm all you like Tomlinson… I’ll find out, one way or another.” He threw Louis a cheeky wink as he sashayed his way back to the table, Louis unable to stop laughing at the obvious wiggle of his bum before he sat down.

“Father’s Day pancakes for three.. Luckiest family in the world!” Harry said, grinning at Jacob who was shovelling a piece of maple syrup covered pancake into his mouth, the sticky liquid dribbling down his chin as he did so. Louis came over and set Harry’s plate down and kissed him softly, basking in the domesticity of the whole thing.

"It's what I've always wanted," Harry said between mouthfuls, enjoying how well Louis had cooked the pancakes. Jacob was now on his third, and was heaping blueberries on top this time around.

"What is?" Louis mumbled, grabbing the syrup from the middle of the table and drizzling it liberally over his own plate.

"This," Harry said, waving his hand around, indicating them and their home. "You. Jacob. Father's Day with my boys. It's all I've ever wanted."

"Well, aren't you lucky that you've got us for life, then?" Louis said with a smile, wrapping his ankle around Harry's under the table. "I happen to be an expert in the making dreams come true business."

"You really are," Harry said softly, smiling at Louis and his son. “Love you, Lou. Love you Jake.”

“We love you more!” Jacob said, wafting his fork around in an almost threatening manner in his excitement. “Happy Daddy’s Day to the best daddy’s in the whole big wide universe!”


	29. Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob's inquisitive side causes no end of trouble for Harry and Louis....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liz - this is _all_ on you. Enjoy!

School was finally over for the year. Well, it was for Jacob at least. The final two days were inset days, meaning as a member of staff, Louis had to go in both days. Harry had of course stayed at home with Jacob, and had taken him to the band rehearsals yesterday. He’d spent most of it filling up Harry’s iPhone camera with pointless photos Harry had later spent hours deleting, or colouring in at the table whilst shoving various pieces of fruit down his throat. 

They were well into the second day of Louis working, and the pair of them being at home. Harry had no rehearsals planned so they’d decided to stay at home, and Harry was now stood at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Jacob to emerge so they could go to Sainsburys to get some shopping. He eventually stomped down the stairs, chest clad in another of Harry’s merch t-shirts. This time though, it was made specifically for Jacob and was part of the merch that wasn’t even available yet. Jacob loved having it before anyone else, and enjoyed wearing it at every opportunity.

“In the car then,” Harry said, opening the car with the button on his key fob as he set the house alarm and locked the front door behind him. Jacob was buckled in and Harry started the car, driving to the nearby supermarket. They held hands as they walked towards the shop through the car park, and Harry handed Jacob a pound coin, watching from a distance as Jacob slotted it in to the lock, releasing a trolley and wandering over to Harry with it. “Off we go, you got the list?” Jacob nodded and pulled the piece of paper from the pocket of his shorts, clutching it in his hands as they navigated the aisles.

Jacob was a good helper, making sure Harry had everything on the list and a few extras too of course. They chatted easily about the upcoming tour as Jacob was getting really excited by now. They were due to leave in just five days, and Louis and Harry were busy packing. Harry had a meeting with his style team in a few days to make sure all the outfits he’d chosen were ready and fitted him, and now it was so close, he was getting excited too. He had missed the buzz of being on stage, and now it meant more because he knew his husband and son would be with him.

His phone vibrated in his pocket then, and he left Jacob choosing a box of cereal for the mornings while he grabbed his phone, grinning when he saw it was Louis.

“Jake! Few more bits love, then we can get out of here, okay? Wanna go and grab an ice-cream on the way home?”

“Please, Dad!” Jacob squealed, running to Harry and giving him a quick hug, gaining a few smiles from a couple of older ladies stood chatting to each other. “I’d like that, thank you very much.”

“What a polite young man you have,” one of the women commented as Harry took his hand, walking off.

“Oh, um, thank you very much,” Harry said, smiling down at his son who just grinned at the ladies. “He’s usually a good boy, we’re very lucky.”

“I bet your mummy is very proud of you, helping your Dad with the shopping,” the other lady said, and Harry swallowed, wondering how he should address this, but Jacob beat him to it.

“I don’t have a Mum. I have two daddies, Daddy is at work so Dad is looking after me. We’re going on tour with him to Spain and stuff soon with Daddy.” Jacob puffed out his chest proudly and the ladies looked down at him shirt, adorned with Harry’s face, and then flicked their eyes up to Harry again, putting two and two together.

“Ah, I see. Well, you’re lucky to have two lovely daddies to look after you,” one of the ladies said. “And have fun on tour won’t you?”

“We will!” Jacob called as he and Harry walked off, waving enthusiastically to them, Harry ruffling his hair with pride. “Why do people always think I have a Mum, Dad? I don’t get it, is it not normal to have two dads?”

“Hey, none of that normal stuff please,” Harry said, directing the trolley towards the personal care aisle, hoping he could distract Jacob while he grabbed some lube for him and Louis. “There’s no such thing as a normal family. Yes, most kids have a mum, but it’s fine that you don’t. And you’ve got me and Daddy, so you’re happy, aren’t you?”

Jacob nodded, taking a closer look at the array of Spiderman toothbrushes in front of him. Harry took advantage and stepped away, eyes raking over the selection of lube, wondering if he should try something new. He must have been there too long because before he knew it, an inquisitive little voice piped up.

“Personal lub-lubri- Dad, what’s this word? What’s it for?” he asked, peering up at the shelf, reaching for a bottle. Harry yanked him away, grabbing their usual lube and a flavoured one for a bit of a change and chucked them into the trolley. “Why’s that bottle got strawberries on it? What do you do with it?” As much as Harry loved that Jacob asked lots of questions, keen to find out about the world around him, this particular topic wasn’t something he wanted to discuss right now, let alone in the middle of Sainsbury’s.

“Um, it’s a grown up thing,” Harry bumbled, leading Jacob away from the dreaded aisle, vowing that next time, he’d head out when Louis got home if they ever needed lube or condoms again. 

“Something for you and Daddy?” Jacob piped up again, and Harry could feel his cheeks getting red as Jacob continued to barrage him with questions. “Is it one of those things I have to wait to be eighteen for? Is it for you or for Daddy?”

“Oh god, stop asking questions, please,” Harry begged, wishing Louis was here to get him out of this mess. “It’s an adult thing. It’s for me and Daddy. That’s all I’m saying about it, okay?” Jacob nodded and glanced down at the yellow Spiderman toothbrush in his hand. “Yes, you can have the toothbrush, love.” They finally made their way to the till, Harry making sure to grab the bottles of lube from the conveyor belt before Jacob could see them again and ask any more awkward questions.

He packed up the car and let Jacob help him return the trolley, giving him the pound once he was done for his money box because he’d been very helpful. Once they were home, Harry unpacked the car and spent a while putting the shopping away, having stowed away the adult items behind their bottles of wine in a high up cupboard, hoping he’d remember to put them away later once Jacob was in bed. 

They sat and ate lunch together, but by mid-afternoon, Jacob was bored. He’d played an hour of his new Lego Movie game on the PlayStation, then had a bit of time in the garden with Harry, kicking a football around. Now though, he was moaning about being cooped up since Harry was doing a bit of housework, not wanting Louis to come home to a mess after he’d been working all day.

“Stop your whinging, the hoovering won’t do itself,” Harry said, chastising Jacob for his whining. He’d hated telling his son off at first, but Louis had been stern with him, telling him part of being a good parent was not only supporting and telling their child when they’d been good, but also putting them on the right path when they didn't make good choices. Jacob looked sullen, and Harry pointed at the stairs. “Make yourself useful and go and tidy your room up. It’ll make Daddy happy to see it all neat and tidy when he gets in.” 

Jacob muttered something under his breath as he stomped up the stairs, the sound of Harry’s album blasting through the floor following as he started tidying up. Harry smiled to himself, fetching the Dyson from the understairs cupboard, and began his cleaning routine. Louis thought Harry was quite weird, because secretly, he loved cleaning. He loved putting everything in its place, knowing where things were, and having a clean and calm home around him. 

A little while later, the entire downstairs floor was hoovered, dusted and Harry had spent ages sorting through their magazines, throwing out the old ones and leaving newer ones atop the nice neat pile he’d made. He’d straightened picture frames, cleaned the windows and it looked lovely and clean. Jacob, however, was a bit too quiet, so Harry put the hoover away, always a bit suspicious when his son was quiet for so long. As he closed the door though, the sound of Jacob thundering down the stairs like a fairy elephant sounded through the house, and his little footsteps on the wooden floorboards came to a stop behind Harry.

He whirled around and was a little stunned by what he saw. Jacob had some sort of blindfold or sleeping mask perched on the crown of his little head, the deep red eye part resting on his forehead, the black strapped around the back of his head, and had his hands on his hips. Harry made a puzzled expression at him, gesturing at Jacob’s new headwear.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the band with a perplexed expression.

“Dunno, I found it,” Jacob said with a shrug, eyes darting around a little guiltily. “I think it looks pretty, don’t you Dad?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Harry said, wondering where on earth Jacob would have found something like that in their house. It wasn’t his, and he was certain it wasn’t Jacob’s. “I think we both deserve a-”

“You’re under arrest, Dad! For doing too much cleaning!” Jacob shouted this at Harry out of the blue, producing a pair of handcuffs from behind him. They weren’t, however, the usual child’s handcuffs that looked like they cost a couple of quid from Tesco. No. These had leather lined cuffs, a solid silver chain in the middle and what looked like buckles around the wrist cuffs. Harry’s mind boggled at the sight of Jacob producing such a thing, and withdrew his hands, worrying that if he let Jacob put them on, he might not get them off. Jacob made grabby hands for him, pouting as Harry grabbed the offending items and shoved them in his back pocket.

“Seriously, Jake, where are you getting this stuff?” he asked, a feeling of unease settling in his bones at how Jacob had suddenly produced what looked like some sort of bondage for beginner’s kit. Jacob mumbled something, not meeting Harry’s eye, so he crouched down, taking Jacob’s hand in his, wanting his son to know he wasn’t angry, just curious. “Hey, I’m not cross. Just… where did you get this stuff babe?”

Jacob glanced up, biting his lip, so much like Louis when he was nervous about something. The fact Jacob was nervous made Harry feel more anxious, and he waited patiently for Jacob’s answer. “Um, a box. In your room. In Daddy’s wardrobe.” Harry was filled with a sense of foreboding when suddenly, Jacob’s face lit up and he grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him up. “I did a nice thing for you though, for you and Daddy! I decorated your room, wanna see?” 

Harry nodded and followed Jacob up the stairs, the little boy bounding along in front of him. He couldn’t wait to see the pictures Jacob would have no doubt created for him, probably having used half a pack of blu-tac to stick them to the walls. He peered into Jacob’s room as they walked by, happy to see that it was indeed tidy and that he’d even attempted to make his bed, a pile of teddies sat on his pillow waiting for him.

“Are you ready?” Jacob said in a high-pitched, excited voice. He was bouncing on his toes, and Harry was filled with anticipation, eager to see what Jacob had done. He slowly lowered the handle and dragged Harry inside, holding his arms out a flourish and a big grin. “TA DAAAAAA!”

Harry was speechless. Literally. So many emotions flooded through his mind as he turned around, taking in exactly what it was Jacob had done. Horror. Shock. Amazement. Horror. And more horror. On the bed was a black box, the lid shoved on wonkily, and the contents of it were now strewn around his and Louis’ bedroom, proudly on display for himself and his seven year old child. Harry couldn’t move. He felt stuck to the floor, not quite knowing how to go about dealing with this, whether to get Jacob out of the room, or to just admire his weird creativity.

Across the corner of the mirror on Harry’s chest of drawers were a short set of nipple clamps, a couple of homemade drawings hung proudly from them, one of Harry and one of Louis. Over one corner of the bedframe was another, sturdier looking set, a couple of photographs hung from the larger clamps, and a third was hanging from the wardrobe door, little innocent ‘To Daddy’ and ‘To Dad’ notes with heart stickers plastered all over them hanging from metal clasps.

Harry turned again, looking at Louis’ bedside table, which now had a glittery purple buttplug sat on it, shining and sparkling under the bedside lamp which Jacob had kindly turned on, emphasising the sparkly particles inside. On his own table was a rather large clear glittery suction cup dildo, which Jacob had so cleverly draped some of Harry’s necklaces from, his rings nicely placed in a pattern around the base. He glanced over to Jacob who was looking so proud with himself, arms folded across his chest as he watched for Harry’s reaction. He started to talk before Harry even had a chance to do anything more than gape at his son.

“This decoration is so pretty, it sparkles like this one,” Jacob said, attempting to run around the room to point to the buttplug on the side table, but Harry grabbed him, holding him close, not wanting him to get any closer to the sex toys than he had to. “This one was perfect for your necklaces Dad, cos it’s so long and tall.” Harry snorted at that, trying desperately not to laugh at Jacob’s innocence and the words tumbling from his mouth.

“And  _ then _ I found these picture holders, how cool are these?” Jacob said, wriggling away from Harry and grabbing a set of the nipple clamps from the wardrobe door, dangling it in front of Harry’s face. Harry swallowed and tried to arrange his face into something that didn't betrayed his inner horror, smiling tightly down at his son.

“Wow, um, you’ve - you’ve done a good job, love,” Harry stuttered out, reaching forwards and taking the clamps from Jacob. “Good, um, picture hangers…” He threw them onto the bed, Jacob frowning at the action. “Tell you what, you go and get one of those new ice lollies we got earlier while I clear up in here, I’ll take some photos for Dad, don’t worry. Oh, Jake, come back,” he called as Jacob tried to run from the room. He lifted off the blindfold from his son’s forehead and retrieved the handcuffs from his own back pocket, throwing the two things onto the bed. “Thank you, love.”

Jacob nodded and ran from the room. Harry reached for his phone and took a few photos, knowing Louis would never believe what had happened if he didn't see the proof for himself. Harry shoved his phone away as he gingerly approached the dildo, gingerly holding it at the base and tugging it, a loud pop filling the room as it came unstuck. Harry squeaked and yanked the necklaces off the tip of it, chucking the toy into the box on the bed. He unclipped the letters from the nipple clamps and threw them into the box, grabbing the other two sets and letting them join the first in the black box.

Finally, he rounded their bed, and picked up the buttplug. He swallowed at the sudden realisation that these items belonged to his husband. He turned it over in his hand, feeling a little daunted by the size of it. Images of Louis perhaps using such a thing flooded his mind, and he cautiously stepped over to the box, worried about what he might find inside as he put the plug in there. He quickly rammed the lid on, not wanting to pry when Louis wasn’t around, feeling he’d already seen more than he was meant to. Feeling spontaneous now, he reached back in and grabbed a set of clamps, the smallest set, and pushed them low into the pocket of his jeans. He picked up the box again and shoved it back in the wardrobe, at the back of the top shelf where even Louis probably couldn’t reach it.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, taking a few deep breaths as he tried to work out what had actually just happened. Had his seven year old son really just decorated his bedroom with his husband’s secret stash of sex toys? He steadied himself for a moment before getting up, pulling the bedroom door tightly shut behind him and joining his son downstairs. 

He tried to keep a straight face when Louis arrived home and Jacob told him eagerly about decorating their bedroom. Louis looked to Harry with a puzzled expression but he just shrugged, knowing he had to wait for Jacob to go to Jay’s for a sleepover before he could even contemplate discussing it with Louis. Jay arrived an hour later, eager to pick up her grandson. She had told Louis she was going to miss them all terribly while they were away on tour, and while Louis and Harry had invited her and Dan, Lottie and Fizzy to a few tour stops, Jay hadn’t spent so much time without Jacob before. They’d compromised by saying he could stay with her before they left, and Jacob had been excited for it for a while now.

“I hope you like the decorations, Daddy, Dad took some photos to show you!” Jacob said with a proud smile as he climbed into his car seat, still proud of his handiwork. Louis cocked an eyebrow at Harry, clearly intrigued to find out what exactly had taken place while he’d been at work. Harry just blushed, willing Jacob not to say anymore in front of his mother-in-law. No way did he need that discussion.

“I’m sure I will, love. Now, you be a good boy for Nanny Jay and we’ll have some fun tomorrow, okay? I’ve finished work so I’m all yours now for the next six weeks! Have fun darling, we love you. Thanks for this Mum, see you soon!” They both kissed Jacob again and watched as Jay drove off, tooting the horn before her car disappeared around the corner. They headed inside together, Harry’s tummy rumbling with hunger now. 

“Gonna explain to me what all this shit about decorating our room is about?” Louis asked, collapsing on the sofa while Harry remained stood up in the middle of their sitting room. Louis gave him a funny look, trying to suss out what the hell was going on. “Seriously, Haz, I’m freaking out now. What happened while I was at work?”

“Our son found something,” Harry said in a low voice, feeling like the clamps in his back pocket were burning a hole into his skin. Louis just stared and Harry stared back, not sure exactly how to even go about mentioning what had been found in their bedroom, something that even after a year of being together and a month of being married, Harry didn't know about. He swallowed, and reach backwards, clinging onto the back of his pocket with his fingertips for a second.

“Found what, Harry? Are we playing fucking charades or something, because I kind of just want you to tell me right now.” Louis’ face was looking unamused, and Harry decided to just get on with it and show Louis. He reached backwards and slowly tugged on the chain of the clamps in his pocket, pulling them free. He hooked them over one finger and brought them in front of him, dangling off the tip of his index finger.

“Holy shit,” Louis said, eyes wide as he stared at the nipple clamps, a blush starting on his cheeks, heating up rapidly until his face was a surprising shade of red. Harry smirked to himself at the visceral reaction it had prompted from his husband.”What - how? I mean, what… what did you see, Harry?”

“Everything,” Harry practically whispered, opening his eyes wide, not taking his gaze from Louis’ blue eyes, looking for any sign of emotion of his husband’s face. “I just, I had  _ no idea  _ Lou, no idea you had that stuff. Just… wow.”

“Don’t take the piss, Harry,” Louis said, suddenly getting to his feet. “S’not like I’ve needed all that in the last year, is it? Just something from the past… no need to make me feel like shit about it-”

“Hey, hey,  _ no _ ,” Harry was quick to reassure Louis, taking a step closer, reaching out for his hand with the one that wasn’t holding on to the nipple clamps. “Baby, no, I wasn’t taking the piss, I wouldn’t. I think it’s fucking hot actually, that you’ve got this stuff…” He licked his lips and tried to get closer to Louis again, but his husband moved away. “Look, I can just put these away and forget I ever saw anything Lou, if that’s what you want. Don’t be upset baby, please.” Louis just nodded, watching as Harry rammed the clamps back into his pocket. “I’m gonna make dinner, sweetheart. You stay here and relax. I love you, Lou.”

“Love you too,” Louis muttered as he watched Harry leave, relaxing back into the sofa. 

*****

An hour or so later, the smell of dinner was enticing Louis out of his mood in the sitting room. He’d been sitting with the TV on, paying absolutely no attention to it, thoughts of Harry discovering his box running through his mind. He had managed to keep it hidden for over a year, and it appeared it was his son who had outed him as a man who liked to play with sex toys every now and again. He still hadn’t quite gotten to the bottom of what exactly Jacob had done with his box of things and if he was honest, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

Still though, something was niggling him low in his tummy, a faint bubble of something that he was sure was arousal at the thought of Harry finally finding out one of the last hidden things about him. He could feel his cock twitch at the thought, and swallowed heavily, wondering how he should deal with it. Realistically, he knew there was only one way, as there was with anything between him and Harry. Honesty.

He got to his feet and stumbled through to the kitchen, thoughts whirling in his mind. He watched for a minute as Harry moved easily around their large kitchen, a tea towel flung over his shoulder as he made their dinner, a small pile of clean dishes on the draining board where he’d tried to tidy up after himself. Louis thought he really had married the perfect man. He went up behind Harry, who was standing at the worktop chopping up some french bread, and pushed up against him, arms coming around Harry’s waist.

“Heyyyyy,” he mumbled, feeling Harry’s back straighten at his touch. He laid his cheek on Harry’s firm back, enjoying the warmth seep through the thin cotton of his t-shirt. He hooked his fingers inside the waistband of his jeans, letting them rest on his soft skin, moving them ever so slightly, digging them into the slight pudge at his hips. 

“Hey, baby,” Harry replied, nuzzling his head back, turning so he could smile at Louis. “You okay now? Not still upset at me?”

“Nah,” Louis said, feeling all antsy. He was feeling on edge, like he had to do something to get this feeling out of him, but he wasn’t sure how to put what he wanted into words. He could feel the muscles of Harry’s body move under his touch as he continued to saw at the bread, his strong biceps working, back muscles fluttering slightly. “Harry….”

“Mmm?”

“Um….”

“What is it, babe? You okay?”

Louis just nodded, licking his lips as he felt Harry remove his hands from his trousers, spinning around until they were face to face. Harry’s big hands came to rest on his own waist then, looking down at him with an expectant expression, waiting for Louis to get whatever it was off his chest.

“I… um… I can’t get-” He could feel his cheeks heating up with a blush as Harry stared down at him but he was interrupted by a hiss that startled them both as the pan on the stove boiled over, the glutinous rice water gushing down onto the stainless steel top below it. Harry cursed and spun around, turning off the heat underneath and set about draining it, instructing Louis to grab a couple of plates and dished them up piping hot bowls of chilli. Louis sighed, biting back his words as they ate, knowing now wasn’t the time. Harry made him laugh easily with the tale of the lube in Sainsbury’s, nearly making Louis choke on a forkful of food, Harry patting his back through his own laughter.

Louis couldn’t help feeling a little agitated throughout the meal. He was aware he was fidgeting a lot, playing with his food rather than eating it until Harry caught him, and then Louis felt obliged to eat more, knowing his husband had prepared the dinner so lovingly for him. Even so, there was a sense of anticipation in the air around what Harry had revealed to him earlier on, and Louis was struggling to push the thoughts further to the back of his mind. 

As they finished eating, Harry stood up, scraping his chairs on the grey slate tiles on the floor and lifted their bowls from the table, heading over to the sink. By now, Louis had had enough and took matters into his own hands. He followed Harry and removed the bowls from his grasp, setting them down heavily on the worktop behind him, and pushed their bodies together, shoving Harry against it. Their crotches met and Louis circled his hips ever so slightly, not missing the flicker in Harry’s eyes as he did so. 

“I can’t get it out of my head,” he muttered lowly, making Harry strain to hear his words. He cleared his throat softly, tipping his head back slightly so he could look at Harry’s eyes, feeling the grip of his fingertips low on his hips. “The… um, stuff you showed me earlier..”

Harry’s eyes widened then somehow darkened as realisation hit. He swallowed and leant forwards, brushing his lips over Louis’ for a moment, teasing each other. He could feel Louis’ hot breath against his chin as their hardenings cocks brushed behind the stiff denim of their jeans, and he groaned low in his throat.

“Yeah? What are you thinking then, Lou?” Despite his arousal, Harry knew it was important that Louis take the lead at the moment, that he felt in control of what was possibly going to happen. Now Louis knew he’d seen the box and its contents, there wasn’t a lot else to hide, and the tension zapping between them was electric. Harry’s palms were sweating, and he didn't think he’d been this aroused in a while. “Tell me, baby, don’t be shy…”

“I… the stuff in that box. I can’t stop thinking about it, and, erm, maybe…”

“Maybe…?.” Harry encouraged, sliding a hand down to cup over Louis’ bulge, enjoying how clearly turned on Louis was by all of this. All he needed was to hear the words from Louis’ mouth, and nothing more was going to happen until he did.

“Maybe… us trying it, well, some of it…” Louis said, his cheeks flaming at his confession. He glanced up at Harry from under his long lashes, and saw how Harry’s bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, a blush on his own cheeks now.

“Yeah?” Harry breathed out, exhaling shakily. Louis just nodded, groaning as Harry squeezed his cock through his jeans.

“Yeah,” Louis confirmed. Harry stunned him up by grabbing under his bum and picking Louis up, the smaller man hurrying to wrap his legs around Harry’s waist, clutching tightly around his neck. “Oh my god, Harry, what are you doing?”

“Going to try it…” Harry said with a wicked smirk, striding towards the stairs, husband in his arms as they climbed the stairs, heading into the unknown.


	30. Bad Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry share something new before they prepare to go off on tour...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Liz (dont_stop_larry) for her help with this. xx
> 
> Manip credit to lesbianau on tumblr.

“Mmm, stop, Louis… stop baby,” Harry said, reluctantly pulling away from Louis’ embrace and his roaming hands and mouth. He’d slammed him up against the wall when they’d arrived in their bedroom, and had been frantically kissing and touching ever since. Harry’s cock was hard inside his jeans now and so was Louis’... both were unbelievably turned on and Harry was struggling to think straight. Louis looked like sin in front of him right now. His lips were already red and swollen, his pupils were blown, and his cheeks were bright red. Harry loved seeing him like this, being taken completely apart by him and only him.

“Harry… fuck,” Louis murmured, letting his legs drop and his feet hit the floor. He clutched onto Harry’s biceps, small fingers barely able to wrap around the bulging muscle, and he darted his tongue out, licking up the side of Harry’s jaw, making him groan under the touch. “Where … where did you put it?”

Harry met his eye and looked questioningly at him, thoughts foggy with lust as he tried to make sense of Louis’ words.

“The box, babe,” Louis mumbled, starting to suck gently on the side of Harry’s neck. Realistically, he knew Harry’s team would hate him if he marked Harry up too much just a few days before the tour, Harry’s pale skin bruising too easily, love bites standing out like blood on snow. Harry tilted his head away, giving Louis better access as he answered.

“Wardrobe,” Harry said, finally slipping away from Louis and opening the door, reaching in to the cupboard and dragging it from the top shelf where he’d stowed it safely away earlier. He walked over to their bed and set it down in the middle, sitting down with it, waiting for Louis to join him. His husband did indeed stumble over, pulling his t-shirt over his head as he sat down, one leg out in front of him, the bottom of his foot touching Harry’s knee opposite him. Harry took in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. This felt big, somehow, and he was trying to commit every little bit of it to memory.

“Shall I, umm…” Louis asked, his question dropping off as he extended his hands towards the box, fiddling nervously with the edge of the lid. Harry just nodded, and Louis carefully lifted it off, trying not to look into it just yet. It had been too long since he’d even looked in here, and while he had a good idea what he’d stowed away in here all those years ago, the idea of exploring those things and revealing this side of himself to Harry was quite daunting. He set the lid down on the floor next to their bed and watched Harry’s eyes rake over the box.

“Fuck-” Harry mumbled, taking in the array of items before him. Most of them he’d seen earlier, of course, but there was clearly a few things he hadn’t seen, judging by his expression and wide eyes. “Do you, um, wanna…” he gestured at the box with his hands and Louis nodded, coming around to sit next to Harry now, putting the box on his lap so they could both see. “You wanna maybe… pick out something? For us, for now, maybe?”

Louis could feel his heart jackhammering in his chest now, a bit overwhelmed at the thought they were actually going to do this. He hadn’t felt a need to use anything in his box since he’d started having sex with Harry, completely and utterly satisfied by their sex life and the things they got up to. Now, however, this was being suggested… there was nothing he wanted more. He stretched a tentative hand out, and let his eyes fall over the small selection of items inside, blushing at a few of them.

As he sifted through, looking for something they could try that wouldn’t be too daunting, Harry reached over him and hooked something over his finger, lifting up and smirking at Louis at the sight of it. It was a pair of lacy white knickers, and Louis blushed, knowing the story behind those. Harry chuckled and moved the scrap of material between his fingers, Louis’ eyes drawn to the small movement and how turned on Harry looked at the feel of it. 

“You wanna put these on for me, Lou?”

Louis blushed and shook his head, his mind full of another idea right now. “Think they’d look prettier on you, baby…” he practically whispered, and he couldn’t miss the flicker of something across Harry’s face at those words. He reached out and took the knickers from his husband’s hands, setting them in the box. “Maybe another time, yeah? These were a joke gift but I… I couldn’t get rid of them. You, um, you like that thought?” Harry shrugged but the blush on his cheeks belied his nonchalance over the matter. Louis filed that away to explore another time, quite enjoying the fact Harry seemed open to trying that at some point.

As their eyes fell back into the box, Louis reached out and picked out a long blue dildo, one he’d had a lot of fun with in the past. It wasn’t too thick, and he hoped it wouldn’t be too intimidating for Harry. He looked questioningly over to Harry who nodded somewhat nervously. He set the item on the bed and rifled through the rest, deciding one thing was probably enough for now. There were a few other bits he wouldn’t mind trying, but he didn't want to overwhelm either himself or Harry for now. As he reached to put the box on the floor, Harry’s hand encircled his wrist. Louis let the box rest on the floor, and sat back up, Harry’s hand in his own by now. 

“I’ve never- used this stuff,” Harry confessed, his voice low as he locked eyes with his husband. “But I wanna try… with you. Please, Lou.” Louis nodded, a little surprised Harry hadn’t dabbled with sex toys before. Either way, he was pleased Harry trusted him enough to try this, and carefully got up onto his knees. He leaned forwards and started kissing Harry gently, just small presses of their lips at first, wanting to savour everything about tonight. “Lou…” Harry mumbled, letting his lips part to grant Louis access, already turned on. “Too many clothes, Lou…”

Louis chuckled and he reached forward for the hem of Harry’s t-shirt, tugging it until Harry got the hint and ripped it off and over his head. The fabric hit the floor with a soft thud and Louis’ hands trailed down, popping open the button of his jeans. They both got up together and forced their jeans down their legs, collapsing back onto the mattress in just their underwear. Louis shoved the toy behind him, intent on getting things going the normal way before they even introduced the toy into matters.

He let his hand slip down Harry’s bare body, pinching his nipple as his fingers grazed over the hard nub, loving how goosebumps followed his every move. He wriggled his fingers under the elastic waistband of his boxers, eventually wrapping around Harry’s now very hard cock, the skin warm and soft under his touch. Harry groaned and arched his back, hips coming forward, driving his cock deeper into Louis’ fist, drawing a delicious moan from low down in his belly. Louis squeezed and twisted his hand as he reached the tip, just how he knew Harry liked and with his free hand, shoved Harry’s boxers down until he could kick them off, naked now. He then tugged his own off, leaving both men bare, and brought their lips together again, kisses quickly turning frantic and dirty as Harry started touching Louis where he desperately needed to be touched.

After a few more heated minutes, both men were grinding up against each other, bodies hot and ready for more, and Louis’ mind was racing, wondering how this was going to happen. He could feel Harry’s hand snaking around, fingers pressing between his cheeks, touching where Louis so badly wanted him, and he decided he had to be the one to take charge, to show Harry what it was he wanted.

“Harry, Haz babe…” he said, breaking their kiss, whining as Harry rubbed his dry finger over Louis’ entrance again, applying just enough pressure to leave Louis wanting more. “Are you sure about this, you want this?” Harry just nodded, not removing his hand, pressing against Louis’ rim again, Louis’ low moan filling the room. “How do you …”

“You,” Harry mumbled back in reply, trying desperately to collect his thoughts, to verbalise them so he could tell Louis what it was he wanted. “Want to try it, on you babe. Is that okay, or…” Louis’ eyes darkened slightly, and his tongue darted out, wetting his lips. Harry’s heart raced as he waited for an answer, hoping this would be okay, that Louis would understand he wasn’t quite ready for anything more than that just yet.

“Fuck, okay,” Louis nodded, reaching over to their bedside table and grabbing the lube, frowning when he saw it was all but empty. “Shit, did you not get some more? Asked you earlier…”

“Crap, hang on babe,” Harry said, hopping off the bed and running out of the room, entirely naked. Louis giggled as he watched Harry’s bare butt run out of the room, and heard him thunder down the stairs before the sound of a door banging sounded out. Before he knew it, a panting, flushed and very naked Harry was back in their bedroom, new bottle of lube in his hand with a proud grin on his face. Louis’ gaze dropped to Harry’s impressive erection and he cocked his head, silently begging his husband to get back to bed. Harry complied, glancing down at the dildo next to Louis as he laid on top of him, brushing their bare bodies together.

“Need you to open me up, get me ready babe,” Louis mumbled, watching as Harry fumbled with the seal on the bottle, grabbing it from him and ripping it off, flicking open the cap and handing it back. “No need to be nervous love, I promise. It’s just me, yeah? And if it’s too much, we can stop, we don’t have to-”

“No!” Harry said, eyes flying open at Louis’ words. “No, Lou, I want to, I want to at least try this, yeah?” Louis nodded and let his legs fall open, inviting Harry to begin the familiar process of getting him ready for his cock, even if this time, it wasn’t his cock that Harry would be putting inside Louis. Harry started with two fingers, knowing Louis could take it, and he leaned over, kissing him as he scissored his fingers, moving them around, feeling Louis’ body respond to his every move, grinding down on his fingers, chasing them ever deeper.

Harry could feel his own cock throbbing, desperate to be touched but right now, he wanted to focus on Louis, to try and commit this whole experience to memory. Sex toys wasn’t something he’d ever thought to try before, but he couldn’t deny how the thoughts of using them with Louis had run through his mind when he’d seen them earlier on. The fact Louis clearly had a fairly big collection himself, that he’d used all of these regularly before Harry came along was quite a turn on, and he thought about the possibility of something like this becoming a regular part of their sex life. He shivered, and Louis smirked up at him, probably able to guess exactly what was on his mind, they were ridiculously in tune like that.

“I’m ready, Haz, whenever you are,” Louis said softly, still panting as Harry’s fingers twisted and delved deeper inside his body, occasionally grazing over his spot, although he tried to avoid it as much as possible, not wanting Louis to come before they’d even begun. Harry held his fingers still for a minute, just looking down at Louis, eyes roaming all over his body.

“Yeah, okay, yeah,” Harry whispered back, letting his fingers slip from Louis’ warmth, watching as Louis’ hole clenched around nothing now. He bit his lip and watched as Louis snaked an arm across the bed, fingers wrapping around the toy and handing it over to him. Harry took it, still feeling a little unsure about what he was doing, and looked up to Louis for guidance. “What do I do, Lou?”

Louis reached again for the bottle of lube and pressed it into Harry’s free hand, and Harry had worked this much out. As Louis watched on, Harry coated the toy in lube - probably too much, but he wasn’t risking hurting Louis in any way. Realistically, the toy was smaller than Harry when he was a fully hard, and Louis had no trouble accepting Harry inside him, but this was different somehow. He sat back on his knees slightly, watching as Louis parted his knees even more, giving Harry space and a clear view for what he was about to do. Harry took in a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to wrap his head around the fact this was actually happening.

“Ready?” Louis asked, which felt strange since to Harry, it felt like he should be the one asking Louis if he was ready. Harry just nodded and held the toy in his right hand, his left on Louis’ bare thigh. He lined the dildo up with Louis’ hole and slowly pushed forward, gasping as he watched the toy sink inside his husband, and Louis’ reaction to it spurred Harry on even more. “Fuck.... feels good, babe, more…”

Harry continued to push the toy forward until he felt it was deep enough. He bit his lip, looking down at how Louis was being split open by the dildo instead of his cock, and he found it more than just a little arousing. “God, you look so good like this,” he murmured, starting to withdraw it slightly, eyes fixated on Louis’ entrance. Carefully, he pushed it back in and drew out a little noise from Louis again, taking note how cool the plastic felt against his hand, where, moments before, his fingers had been surrounded by the heat of Harry’s body. It was a strange sensation, but the noises Louis was making were enough for him. His eyes drifted up quickly to meet Louis’ as he repeated the motion, enjoying seeing how Louis’ hands fisted in the sheets, trying to keep himself under control. “Let go, Lou…” Harry mumbled, wanting Louis to enjoy this as much as he was.

“Fuck-” Louis cursed as Harry tilted the toy slightly, and it pushed against his spot, sending sparks of desire all over his body. Harry started to stroke his hand up and down Louis’ thigh, teasingly near his balls as he continued to move the dildo inside Louis. Louis shifted on the bed, moving his right leg so it was between Harry’s own thighs, his shin now pressing against Harry’s hard cock. Harry took it as an invitation to start rutting up against it, desperate for some friction himself. The only sound in the room was Louis’ whines and pants as Harry fucked him harder with the dildo, sensing Louis was close now, if the way he was writhing and fucking down on the toy was anything to go on. 

“Come for me, baby, wanna see you come from this,” Harry said, and Louis just nodded, reaching down a hand to stroke at his own cock. He enjoyed feeling Harry getting himself off against his body, the way Harry was growing with confidence with how he was using the dildo, twisting his wrist now, determined to find an angle that drove Louis insane. “Look so fucking sexy like this, Lou, letting me do this to you…”

“Ah god, Harry-” Louis begged, his free hand dropping down to wrap around Harry’s wrist, speeding up and deepening his motions, knowing what it was he wanted to push him over the edge. He could see Harry’s eye-widening at how rough Louis was being, how he was chasing his own orgasm so desperately, not caring how he looked in front of his husband. The thought that Louis was being so brazen for him, for only him, made Harry shiver, and he let Louis lead his hand, mesmerised by his husband. “Fuck - Harry, Harry - HARRY!” Louis cried, coming hard over himself, streaking his chest with white streaks, eyes scrunched shut as his orgasm took over his body.

“Oh my god,” Harry whimpered, not stilling his wrist until Louis told him too, far too turned on by how good Louis looked like this, taking what he wanted from Harry, intent on only finding his own pleasure. He watched as Louis’ eyes fluttered open and met his own, something burning in his eyes. 

“On me,” Louis mumbled, looking completely fucked out as he pushed Harry’s hand away, the toy falling onto the bed, Harry pushing it away to one side, frowning as he tried to work out what it was Louis wanted. “Come on me, Harry, want it, make me yours-”

“Fuck, okay,” Harry said, clambering to straddle Louis’ body. He settled just over Louis’ spent cock, letting it rest between his cheeks as he started to stroke himself, Louis looking up at him with red cheeks and blown pupils. “Mine, Lou, all mine, aren’t you? Can’t believe we did that, you let me fuck you with that…oh god…” Harry stroked faster then, breath hitching as Louis’ hands stroked over his thighs, willing him to come. Harry thumbed over the slit, and cried out Louis’ name as he started to come, his own release joining Louis’ on his torso, their come mingling together and pooling on Louis’ chest and stomach. Harry thought he’d never seen anything hotter.

When he felt himself start to come down a bit, he carefully lifted himself off Louis and flopped down on the bed next to him, both on their backs. They turned their heads until they were facing each other, and smiled shyly at each other. Louis reached out, lacing his fingers with Harry’s.

“Okay?” he asked, and Harry just nodded. He wanted to hug Louis, to touch him, so he hopped up off the bed, grabbing the dildo and heading for their bathroom. He threw the toy into the sink and wetted a washcloth, heading back and cleaning Louis off before joining him back in bed. He pulled up the light duvet and covered their bodies, letting their limbs tangle together again, both more than a little sleepy after that. “Harry, was that okay? You didn't - you didn't mind us doing that? Using something?”

“Are you kidding?” Harry asked, rolling onto his side so he could face his husband. “Lou, that was… god, I have no words. I’ll be honest… sex toys aren’t something I ever considered for us, just didn't think they were my thing. But that was… well, that was something else. Watching you fall apart like that, enjoying what I was doing to you… I liked it. A lot.” He felt himself blush at his honesty, and he let Louis lean forward to kiss him, a tender moment after what they had just done together. “So… are we gonna talk about your box, then?”

“What about it? You’ve seen it, what more is there to say?” Louis said with a shrug, and Harry was worried for a second he’d upset him. Louis realised, and hurried to correct himself. “Hey, if you wanna ask questions babe, then do. But it’s just something I had because I was alone for a long time, and I, well, I still had needs.” Harry nodded, understanding himself. It hadn’t been easy to find a boyfriend once he got famous, never sure if people wanted him for him, or for who he was or what he could do for them. He’d ended up sleeping with a few trusted friends, but it wasn’t the same, wasn’t anywhere near like what he now had with Louis.

“You like that stuff, then?” Harry asked, unabashed at his questions as he slotted one leg between Louis’ thighs, keeping them connected. “Got to admit, love, after seeing that, I’m curious…”

“Yeah, it can be fun, especially if it’s done with someone you trust,” Louis said with a smile, and Harry grinned back, loving Louis’ insinuation. “And don’t think I didn't notice your little reaction to those knickers in that box, love. You ever tried that sort of thing before?”

“No…” Harry said, biting back the words he wanted to say before deciding, stuff it, Louis deserved his honesty. “But I want to.” He blushed at his own declaration, suddenly more than turned on by the thought of wearing something like that for Louis. He embraced his more feminine side freely now, painting his nails, wearing what he pleased, whether or not the clothes he chose were made for women or men made no difference to him. But lingerie… that was something else, and he wondered why he’d never considered it before.

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Louis said with a coy smile, kissing Harry’s soft lips again. “While we’re awake, I’d love for you to explain what Jacob was going on about when he talked about decorating earlier? I can’t see anything around?” Harry chuckled and reached behind him for his phone. He held out an arm, and Louis rested his head on his bicep, watching while Harry opened his photos app and wordlessly took the device. “Oh my fucking god…”

His eyes practically bugged out of his head as he swiped through the photos, taking in the decorations Jacob had so thoughtfully spread around his and Harry’s bedroom. “What the - did our son use my buttplug as a bedside table decoration? And a dildo for your jewellery?! Holy fuck!”

Harry laughed loudly, seeing the horror in Louis’ eyes he was sure was present in his own just a few hours ago. “Oh god, you should’ve seen his little proud face, Lou. He stood there with your blindfold on his head and pointed to the dildo, telling me how it was perfect for my necklaces cos it’s so long and tall.” They both snorted at that, and Louis filled the screen with a picture of the nipples clamps holding up a couple of drawings. “Oh yeah, apparently they’re great picture holders. You kinky sod…” Louis blushed at that, quickly flicking over to the next few pictures and smiling to himself at his son’s creativity. “Got to say that was probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life,” Harry confessed with a grin. “Although it’s a bit strange it took my seven year old son to show me what a kinky fuck my husband is…”

“Not kinky, just… open minded,” Louis said, handing the phone back and snuggling into Harry’s side. “Gonna open that mind of yours a little bit too, if you’ll let me.”

“I might be open to that,” Harry muttered, kissing Louis softly but deeply, their tongues gently sliding together before he flicked off the bedside light. Harry turned over, waiting for Louis’ warmth to press against his back, his arm coming to rest over Harry’s waist, holding him close. Harry opened his fingers, letting Louis slot his in between his bigger ones, and squeezed gently. “I love you, Louis Tomlinson. So fucking much. Thank you for tonight.”

“Love you too, Harry Tomlinson. Now, get to sleep. Jake’s coming back early because we’ve got to pick up his glasses from the optician before we go away.”

“Okay, love, I’ll take him, I don’t mind, got to pick mine up as well,” Harry said, bending his head to kiss Louis goodnight.

“Oh come off it, your glasses are all about fashion,” Louis teased. “You just can’t be arsed to start packing, can you?” Harry chuckled, the low rumble of it vibrating through his back and onto Louis’ chest. “Sleep tight, beautiful.”

“Always do with you, Lou.”

*****

“Okay, Jacob, if you sit on that big chair for me, and, Dad…?”

“Yep,” Harry said with a grinning, confirming to the optician he was indeed Jacob’s dad.

“Excellent. Dad, you sit over there for me please.” Harry complied, and watched from his stool to one side as Jacob tried on his new glasses, the optician making sure they fitted around the back of his ears, and had him read a few letters from the wall before handing him a fancy new red case. He spent a few minutes teaching Jacob how to keep them clean with the special cloth.

“We’d like to see him back in a year, please,” the optician said to Harry, who nodded, taking this seriously. “The prescription your son has isn’t hugely strong, but we’ll keep an eye on it. If he has any headaches that go on for more than three days, pop him back in and we’ll get him looked at.”

“Does he need to wear these all the time?” Harry asked, wanting to make sure he and Louis had all the information before they headed off on tour.

“No, just for reading and writing, anything at school really,” the optician said, watching as Jacob carefully stowed the glasses away in the case, handing it over to Harry for safe keeping. “Okay Jacob, nice to meet you and your dad, take care.”

“Thanks Mr Optician!” Jacob said with a big smile, taking Harry’s hand, ready to head out. “Dad, where are your glasses?” Harry tapped the inside pocket of his jacket, smiling down to Jacob. “Cool. Can we go home now? I miss Daddy.”

“Me too, love,” Harry said, heading out with Jacob, cases clanking together in his pocket. “So, are you excited about the trip? I can’t believe we’re leaving in a couple of days!” They arrived at Harry’s car which was parked outside, and he smiled and waved at a couple of fans who called over once he’d situated Jacob inside the car. The drive home didn't take long, and he pulled up on the drive, hearing music blasting through the open window of their bedroom above his head, Louis’ voice ringing clearly out as well. Harry smiled to himself as he let himself and Jacob in, sorting out his son with a drink and letting him out into the garden to play in the sun while he went to find Louis.

He pulled his shirt off as he climbed the stairs, sticky with sweat from the July heat outside. He wandered into their bedroom, stopping and watching Louis shake his backside to the beat of a popular dance tune, merrily folding some clothes into a pile on their bed, open suitcase on Harry’s side of the bed. He snuck up behind Louis and grabbed his ass with both hands, make Louis release a rather unmanly sounding squeak.

“Fuck!” Louis cried, and spun around, resting his hands on Harry’s bare chest. “Where’s your shirt gone? Better not have gone out like this... this is for my eyes only.”

“Don't worry, it's all yours babe. I got all sweaty, want to change,” Harry said, wandering over to his chest of drawers, frowning at how empty it was. “Lou, how many of my clothes are you packing exactly?”

“Erm, not much,” Louis said, flipping the lid of the case shut, hoping Harry wouldn’t see the pile of tops in there. It wasn’t Louis’ fault - he liked wearing Harry’s clothes more than he liked wearing his own, so he figured he had to pack double to ensure there was enough for the pair of them. He was nothing if not organised. Louis opened the case and grabbed a joke t-shirt Niall had bought Harry after their wedding, throwing it to his husband. “Here ya go, put this on.”

Harry unfolded the item and grinned down when he saw what it was, pulling it quickly over his head. It was a plain white t-shirt, but right across the chest, there was a big colourful rainbow with ‘Tomlinson’ written inside it. It was Harry’s pride and joy, but he rarely wore it for fear of spoiling it. He put his hands out by his side and did a little twirl for Louis, grinning at him. “How do I look?”

“Perfect,” Louis teased, coming over to kiss him quickly. “Did you get yours and Jake’s glasses? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, they’re downstairs,” Harry said as they held hands, walking out of their room and down the stairs, towards the garden together, looking for Jacob. “You want to see?” Jacob came running into the kitchen then, and Harry grabbed him, spinning him round and kissing his forehead before letting him down. “Let’s show Daddy our glasses, bud.” Jacob nodded and grabbed his case, shoving them onto his face, smearing his fingers all over the lenses, making Harry roll his eyes.

“Very nice,” Louis said, nodding to Jacob, tearing up slightly at how grown-up his son suddenly looked in his new eyewear. “Hopefully they’ll help at school love, just for reading and writing and stuff, yeah?”

“Yep,” Harry said, slipping his own brown frames onto his face, adjusting them to make them comfortable. “What do you think?” Louis turned around and smiled fondly, reaching up to touch Harry’s cheek tenderly. He went to speak but Jacob got in there first.

“You look like a Dad in them,” Jacob remarked, a serious expression on his face. “I mean, a cool dad, but still like a dad.” Louis glanced over to Harry, and smiled himself seeing the big beam cross Harry’s face at that remark. Only his husband could take being called a dad as a positive thing, so excited by such an innocent comment.

“Thank you, love!” Harry said, hugging Jacob quickly before he ran off into the garden. “A dad. I look like a dad, Lou.”

“You do, and you’re beautiful,” Louis said, pecking Harry’s lips. “I think my husband looks very handsome. Let me take a picture, love.” Harry went and stood by the wall, throwing a very cheeky grin at the camera, hair wild atop his head. This was how Louis loved him the most, natural and happy at home, not dressed up in some designer gear, on show for thousands of people. This was the Harry only he, Jacob and their families got to see, and this was his favourite Harry of all. “Love you, babe. Can I post this?”

He held out his phone and showed Harry, who nodded, smiling down at the tweet. “Send me that, babe?” Louis nodded and sent it over to Harry, who stood composing his own post. When Louis was allowed to look, he was a little surprised.

“You can’t post this, you can see your Tomlinson t-shirt...” he said, looking at Harry who just shrugged.

“Why not? It’s my name and I’m proud of it. This-” he grabbed Louis’ hand and kissed his wedding band then. “This means everything to me. I know we haven’t put it out there publicly yet, and I know we will, but until then, I don’t mind stuff like this being out there, Lou. Let them speculate, say what they want. We know the truth, and if I’m honest, the only opinions I care about are yours and our families. Anyway, we’re married. Why shouldn’t I wear a t-shirt with my new name on it?” Louis grinned at that and grabbed Harry’s own hand, kissing the platinum band nestled so perfectly on his finger.

“Love you gorgeous. Show the world then, show them you’re a Tomlinson.” Harry nodded and hit post, sending his photo out to Instagram and the wide world. He didn't feel nervous or scared. He was a Tomlinson and proud of it, and if this picture led people to believe he might actually have married Louis and taken his name… there were far worse things that could happen.

 


	31. By Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tomlinson's head off to Europe for Harry's tour. Jacob is in awe of everything, and Harry heads off on stage for the first time with his boys by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for the manips to the owners, I only made the tweets and instagram posts.
> 
> Manip of rainbow Louis belongs to the wonderful [LWTLegend91](https://twitter.com/lwtlegend91)
> 
> Enjoy!

“Have you got absolutely everything, Jacob? Nanny Anne is gonna be here soon to take us to the airport and we have to be ready.” Louis rifled through the suitcase he’d packed for his son, ensuring he had enough clothes to last the five weeks they were going to be travelling through Europe. He knew himself and Harry would probably spoil Jacob with new clothes as they were out and about, but still, he liked to be prepared. Jacob nodded, sat at his little desk, shoving a few notebooks, sheets of stickers and his pencil case into his Harry rucksack that would be going on the private plane with them to France, the first stop of Harry’s European tour.

The tour wasn’t actually kicking off for five days, but Harry liked to get to the venue with plenty of time to spare. Louis wasn’t opposed to starting things in France either, having never travelled much around Europe before. In fact, before he’d met and married Harry, he’d really only holidayed in the UK, so this was all new and exciting to him too. He had spent a while browsing Twitter earlier that morning while Harry had been in the shower and Jacob was eating his toast, happy to see so many fans excited to see Harry over the next few weeks as they travelled around together. The most exciting thing for Louis was that both of their families were coming to the last show in Manchester, and he couldn’t wait to take his own family backstage, to give them the full Harry Styles show experience.

It still felt surreal sometimes. Just over a year ago, he was an excited fan himself, well, his son was, at least. He was just a fan, looking forward to a concert, excited to experience the whole thing. Now, he was heading off on tour with that same man, but as his husband. Louis smiled to himself, realising he was living a bit of a fairytale, and as Harry came padding through into Jacob’s room in just his boxers and one of Louis’ t-shirts that was definitely too tight on him, Louis couldn’t resist walking over and kissing him full on on the lips, smiling into the kiss.

“Woah, what was that for?” Harry asked, circling his long arms around Louis’ waist. Jacob just rolled his eyes at his over-affectionate parents, turning back to his desk and sorting through his drawers, seeing if there was anything else he needed.

“Just so happy,” Louis answered with a shrug. “Can’t believe this is my life, sometimes. That I’m heading out on tour with my husband and our son, that I could ever be this happy. Is it sad I’m really excited for this, to see how the tour happens and stuff? I know I saw the shows before but I feel like this time I’m gonna really get to see everything.” Before Harry could answer, Jacob stood up and looked up at his parents, a frown on his face.

“Am I gonna be able to be on the floor in front of the stage again, or do I have to wait backstage?” Jacob asked. Clearly the question had been on the little boy’s mind for a while as he looked serious when he said, and a little apprehensive about the answer. “I…”

“Hey, you can be where you like,” Harry reassured him with a gentle hand on his shoulder, smiling down at his son. “It’s your daddy's tour. That gives you privileges no-one else gets, yeah? Except your dad…” he hurried to add, seeing Louis’ mock-angry face. “Seriously, love. There will be people around you can stand with backstage if that’s what you want, or you and Dad can go downstairs and into the pit area, or even in a VIP box. Whatever you two want, it’s yours.”

Jacob’s grin was enough to make Harry realise that was exactly the right thing to say, and Jacob flung his arms around Harry’s waist, squeezing him tightly. “Love you Dad! I can’t wait to see you on the big stage, will you always say hi to me and Daddy?”

“Course babe, you’ll be the first people I shout out to every single night,” Harry said with a big grin himself now, feeling excited at the thought of being supported by his two favourite people in the world every night. “Lou, I’ve put our bag and stuff downstairs, so I think when Jake’s bag is there, we’re ready to go. You feel ready for this?”

“No,” Louis admitted with a shrug. “I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, or that I haven’t done something I’m meant to do, but to be honest, I just want to hit the road and get going. This feels like it’s been so long coming, I’m itching to get out there and watch you in action.” Harry cocked an eyebrow at that, smirking over to Louis who tried to ignore his husband’s silly actions. “Enough of that. Right, thank you love, let’s go.” Jacob handed Louis his rucksack and they headed down the stairs, Jacob whizzing past as the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of Harry’s Mum.

They were going to drive to the airport but when Anne offered to take them, Harry told Louis it would be far easier to be dropped off and picked up, so they’d accepted her offer. She was also used to the hustle and bustle of Harry’s airport experience, and was on hand to help out. Louis greeted his mother-in-law with a big hug and kiss. She was honestly a dream, so kind and helpful, and he loved her as he did his own mother, and it made him feel content to know that Harry felt the same way towards Jay. They really had both landed on their feet in every aspect of their marriage

“You boys ready? I’m going to miss you, darling, but you’re going to have so much fun with your dads, watching Dad on stage and sleeping on the tour bus!” Anne said to a very excited Jacob, who was hopping about on the floor next to her. She held his hand as they took a few things out to the car, Louis and Harry doing a last minute check of things, ensuring they had the essentials like their passports, tickets and phone chargers. When they were sure everything was ready, they closed the front door behind them, Harry heaving their suitcases into the boot of his car. Anne was driving Harry’s Audi, given that it was the biggest car they had, and it saved worrying about car seats and things. Harry made sure Jacob was buckled in properly, and Anne watched on with such pride in her eyes, she thought her heart might burst. He might be her baby, but he was a daddy now, and nothing made her prouder.

 

*****

A few hours later, Harry was unlocking the door to their hotel suite, a very excited Jacob rushing past both himself and Louis as they wandered in, suitcases trailing behind them. Louis also had Jacob’s little rucksack hung from his shoulder, Harry’s grinning face beaming out from the back of it. Louis glanced around, smiling at the rooms the three of them would call home for the next 5 days, until they moved onto the bus and started travelling around Europe. It was a plush, palatial suite, but modern and airy, exactly the sort of thing he and Harry favoured over stuffy, old-fashioned types who thought they were too good for anyone except megastars.

“Daddy! Can we eat, I’m starving,” Jacob moaned, despite the fact he’d only eaten lunch on the plane a few hours ago. Louis was sure he was having a growth spurt, having moaned his trainers were too tight and that his shorts were getting too short that morning when he’d got dressed for the trip. He also seemed to have hollow legs and was eating the pair of them out of house and home, Harry always proud at how Jacob polished off every meal he cooked for them all.

Louis rolled his eyes and pushed his suitcase against one wall, setting Jacob’s bag down on the desk to one side. Harry just smiled over, already having opened his case, and was pulling out some fresh clothes. Being a seasoned traveller, he was always keen to get changed once he arrived, and that was rubbing off on Jacob too. The little boy was currently pulling off all his clothes, running around in his little boxer shorts, exploring every inch of their rooms.

Louis followed him, keen to have a look around. There were two bedrooms in their suite, a double room for Jacob, and the other containing a big Queen sized bed for himself and Harry. He was pleased to see they had a jacuzzi style bath in their bathroom too, and knew he and Harry could have some fun in there over the next few evenings. He came to see Jacob sat on Harry’s lap in the middle of his bed, and smiled over to his boys, both naked except for their underwear.

“Is this the new fashion then? Boxers only?”

“Join us, Lou. It’s quite fun... freeing,” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis laughed, pulling off his own shirt and jeans, throwing them to the floor next to Harry's discarded clothes.

“Yay! Daddy’s in the Tomlinson Boxers club!” Jacob cried, clapping eagerly to himself, making his dads laugh. “But we can’t go to dinner in our pants. We might get arrested." Both Harry and Louis laughed at his serious expression, clearly thinking that was a possibility. "Can we put some clothes on and get some food? I’m starving, I think I might die if I don’t eat.”

“God, you’re so dramatic,” Louis moaned, rolling his eyes again at his crazy son. “But yeah, we can go and have an early dinner. I think we’ll all be tired from the early start later on anyway. Come on you two, get up and dressed pleased.” They both listened and Jacob ran off, determined to get himself dressed. Harry picked up Louis’ case and put it on the bed, unzipping it and throwing his husband some clothes.

Louis frowned, looking down at the shirt Harry has passed him and shook his head. He threw it back in the case and stepped up to his husband’s case, fishing out one of Harry’s old band t shirts for himself, pulling it over his head and nodding at how he looked.

“So that’s why my case has got double the clothes yours has got,” Harry said, eyes shining with realisation. “You’re just planning on wearing my clothes for the next few weeks, aren’t you?”

“Yep,” Louis said, entirely unashamed of the fact. “Don’t pretend you don’t like it, Styles,” he called over his shoulder, going to check his son was halfway decent.

“IT'S TOMLINSON!” Harry hollered, and Louis’ resounding laughter echoed around the suite as he headed off, the biggest of smiles on his face.

*****

A few days later, Harry, Louis and Jacob had had a wonderful time exploring Paris, heading up the Eiffel Tower together and making the most of a few days of freedom before Harry had to get serious about his tour. Jacob had discovered a newfound love of croissants and macaroons, and was scoffing them down at every opportunity. Louis woke up and rolled into Harry’s body, flinging an arm across his chest as he blinked the sleep away from his eyes. He could hear Jacob playing in his room on his tablet, the familiar tinkle of his favourite game whispering down the corridor from his bedroom to theirs. He sighed and reluctantly climbed out from under the sheet covering their bodies, pressing a kiss to Harry’s bare bicep before he stumbled out of the room, heading to find Jacob.

“Why are you up so early, love?” Louis asked, grimacing when he saw on the small bedside clock it was only half past six in the morning. Jacob just grinned up at him, far too awake for the time of day. Louis got on the bed next to his son, laying down on his side so he could watch what he was up to, happy to see he was doing as he knew he was allowed, playing his new Super Mario app. Jacob chatted away about how he’d levelled up, and was on a winning streak until they heard the toilet flush down the corridor, telling them Harry was up and about.

He appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, scratching at his tummy, smiling fondly at his family as he joined them on the bed. Jacob was now between his sleepy parents, and Harry winked over at Louis, reaching out his hand below Jacob’s feet which were planted on the bed.

“It’s a bit early, boys,” he said, voice low with sleep, exactly how Louis liked it.

“I’m too excited to sleep,” Jacob confessed with a cheeky smile, his bright blue eyes sparkling with excitement for the day ahead. It was to be the first day Harry was going to take his husband and son to the AccorHotels Arena where his first show would be held in just two days time. The stage and everything was set, and Jacob was so thrilled to be getting a tour, and couldn’t wait to see where his Dad would be performing. “I want to be on the stage and hear Only Angel and stand with Clare as she sings.”

Harry grinned at that, loving the sweet friendship Clare and Jacob had struck up. The woman had endless patience with his son, sitting him on her lap as she taught him simple songs on her keyboard, and it had made Harry a little emotional to watch, seeing how his band had so easily opened their hearts to his new family.

“Well, I’m sure she’d love to have you with her while we practise a bit,” Harry said, glancing over to Louis again. “Um, Jake, Daddy and I have to have a little meeting later on so Uncle Niall’s going to look after you and take you to choose some of the new merch, is that okay?” Jacob nodded eagerly. He already had a few bits, but Harry had pretty much promised him one of everything that they’d be selling this time around. The meeting was with Harry’s band and was something he’d wanted to do for a while.

“Who’s hungry, then?” Louis asked, entirely unsurprised at the way Jacob shot his hand into the air, just as he did at school. “I’m gonna get in the shower first, you okay to sort him out Haz?” Harry nodded, arching his back to kiss Louis’ lips quickly before he slipped out of the room, listening to the soft chatter of his boys as he ambled down the corridor.

*****

“It’s so big!” Jacob said with wide eyes as Harry pushed open the doors to the back of the arena, letting Jacob get his first glimpse of the arena set up. They’d pretty much kept everything from the tour last year, thinking it had worked well, but the B-stage in the middle was slightly bigger since Harry was going to be singing a few more songs there, and the catwalk was much longer and raised as opposed to being on the arena floor as it was before. The stage was more circular too affording more people a better look at Harry when he performed, and Jacob was in awe.

Harry held his hand as they made their way up onto the B-stage, the little boy staring around in wonder at the lights that were flashing around, being trialled for the show. He looked down at the guitar stands already in place for Harry’s instruments in the corner of the stage, and then down at the technical area just behind, waving eagerly at a few familiar faces he recognised from a few rehearsals he’d been to back in the UK.

“Hi Tom, hi Lindsey!” he called, waving wildly at them, the pair smiling and waving back. Harry shot them a thumbs up, and watched as Jacob started strutting along the catwalk towards the main stage. He felt Louis slip his arm around his waist, and lean his head against Harry’s shoulder. Jacob bounded over to Clare then who was stood by her keyboards, and Louis and Harry both smiled as she picked up the smaller boy, chatting easily with him, catching their eye across the room. They were happy Jacob was safe with her so they cuddled for a minute, not caring all the crew were watching their easy affection.

“This looks awesome, Harry,” Louis said, proudly displaying his new rainbow Treat People With Kindness t-shirt Harry had grabbed for him earlier, insistent he wanted to post a picture of Louis in it to his Twitter account. He’d told a terrible joke which had make Louis giggle far too easily, and had snapped a photo, posting it before Louis had time to protest. “I can’t believe I get to see all this this time around, it feels a bit surreal, to be honest.”

“I think the whole tour is gonna be fun,” Harry said, waving over to a few crew members who were calling hello. “We’ve got that meeting in a bit, I’ll text Niall and find out where he is. You okay about it still, telling them, I mean?”

“Yeah, course,” Louis said, not bothered about the tour crew knowing. He knew Harry had picked people he could trust, and at this point, the band were almost family and deserved to know the truth. “He looks so happy up there with Clare. I wonder if he’s going to be musical. He seems to pick up what she teaches him pretty quickly.”

“Well, it’d be nice if he was, would love to teach him guitar when he’s a bit older,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips quickly. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. My wardrobe lady Karen is coming in later, wants me to try on the first few outfits, check they still fit or whatever. You gonna come and see what I’ve got to wear?” He was a bit surprised to see Louis shake his head, a small smile on his lips.

“Nah, want to be surprised like the fans,” he said, and Harry nodded, understanding that. “Is that alright? Did you want my opinion or something? I don’t mind-”

“Lou, that’s fine, honestly. You know I don’t mind. You and Jake can just chill out with the band or whatever you want to do, or go back to the hotel if you want. I’m just - I’m so glad you’re here Lou. I used to find it lonely on tour, but having you two with me is the best thing.”

“I’m glad we’re here too. Can’t wait for Thursday love. You’re gonna be amazing, I know it.” They kissed again a few times, trying to keep it chaste, aware they were in a fairly public setting, and Harry didn't want to have to hide a boner from his team. He reluctantly pulled away, taking Louis’ hand and walking them up the catwalk. Louis shuddered at how this place would be full of thousands of people screaming his husband’s name in a few days.

“Right, meeting, then we can chill out for a bit,” Harry said, pulling out his phone and texting Niall, pleased to see he was on his way to the stage to get Jacob.

A few minutes later, Louis and Harry walked into a dressing room hand in hand and sat down on the big black sofa, thighs pressed together. The band all smiled at them, finishing their conversations. Louis smiled at how Sarah’s feet were sat in Mitch’s lap, and he thought to himself that they made a sweet couple. Clare was quietly observing everyone, and Adam was on his phone, probably texting his wife and children who Louis knew he missed terribly when he was on tour. It only made him all the more glad he was touring with Harry this time.

“Okay, you all alright?” Harry asked, and everyone nodded back at him, sitting forward slightly to listen to Harry. They’d been a bit confused by the meeting, Harry giving nothing away when he had text them all, requesting their presence before the full concert rehearsal began later that afternoon, after his wardrobe fitting. “Right, there is a reason Lou and I asked you to be here before we rehearse later. Um, we have something we need to tell you.”

For some reason, Harry could feel the butterflies in his tummy at the thought of admitting aloud that he and Louis were married. Although he’d said it before to his management, that had been in anger, and this time, he was completely calm and it felt momentous somehow. He couldn’t wait to finally be able to tell the world he was Louis’ husband, and this felt like the start of that finally happening. He looked over to Louis who was nodding encouragingly, knowing Harry wanted to be the one to say the words.

“Well. It’s, um, it’s just-” he took a deep breath, collecting himself for a second. “Louis and I, we're married. I'm his husband. We got married a couple of months ago. We haven’t told anyone else but we wanted you to know.” He held up his left hand which was proudly displaying his wedding ring, and a pang of regret rang through him then at the thought he’d have to start taking it off soon for the shows. It wasn’t a dress ring he could fob off as something it wasn’t - it was obviously a wedding band, and there was no hiding that fact. It would be with him, on the chain around his neck but even so, that didn't feel enough for Harry.

“Is this meant to be news, Haz?” Clare said with a soft smile. “We all noticed the wedding rings at rehearsals, and you slipped up and called Lou your husband a few times. I don’t think you even noticed.” Harry could feel himself blush at that revelation, and Louis chuckled beside him.

“God, you’re hopeless,” he said, nudging Harry with his shoulder. “You’re gonna spill it on stage before the end of this tour, I know it.”

“Shit, sorry baby,” Harry said, laughing now. “But you guys knew? And you didn't say anything?”

“Figured you’d tell us officially when you were ready,” Adam said with a shrug. “Seriously, though, we’re so happy for you both. Congratulations, guys.” He stood up and so did Louis and Harry, accepting hugs and handshakes from everyone. As Mitch made his way to Louis, giving him a quick hug, he spoke softly into Louis’ ear.

“I’ve known Harry a few years now, and I’ve never seen him so happy and settled. You’re good for him Louis, you and that boy of yours. You’ve given him a purpose. Just take care of him.” Louis nodded. That meant a lot to him, he knew Mitch and Harry were close, that he was the one Harry used to confide in before Louis came along, so to hear him say Harry was happy now he was married to Louis meant the world to him. He slapped his back again in a hug, and nodded carefully.

“I will. Thanks, Mitch. Things good with you and Sarah?” Mitch blushed slightly at the question, never one to like talking about his private life.

“Yeah, all good.” Louis left it there, not wanting to pry. They all sat back down and Harry passed around a few photos of the wedding day, all three of them dressed up, a few with their families and of the venue and cake. He even showed the video of Jacob’s speech Niall had somehow managed to film, making Harry tear up again. It didn't matter how many times he saw it, hearing Jacob announce his dads were getting married never failed to move him.

“Ah, I’m late for wardrobe. I’ll be back in a bit, I’ll send Niall back with Jake, alright babe?” Louis nodded and Harry bent down, kissing him quickly before he slipped out of the room, happy to leave Louis with his band as they continued to talk weddings. They asked about when Harry and Louis were going to announce the marriage, but Louis shrugged, knowing Harry was waiting for the right moment, not that he minded.

Jacob barrelled in then, throwing himself into Louis’ lap, picking up the pile of photos from the table, grinning gleefully at him as he flicked through them, reliving what he liked to call the best day of his life, next to meeting his Dad. Niall was sat with the band now, and Louis sat back and watched, listening to the conversation between various people, his son on his lap, and his husband somewhere trying on designer suits for his shows.

After a little while longer of chat, the band stood up, heading for the main arena to start their first full run through of the show. Jacob and Louis were hanging around, wanting a preview of the concert before anyone else, and they headed for the arena, sitting down on a few chairs that were on the floor for them, Niall sliding into one next to Louis.

“Excited, then, you two?” he asked, tapping away at his phone, no doubt organising something else for the tour. He was constantly busy, and Louis admired how he kept it all together. “Think this one is going to epic, I really do.”

“I want Daddy to come and start singing,” Jacob said, legs swinging from the chair where he couldn’t touch the floor, waiting patiently as Harry’s band got into place. Soon, the arena was filled with loud music and Niall reached behind him, handing Jacob a pair of ear defenders, making Louis smile. Everyone had embraced having a small child with them on tour, and he appreciated it so much. The lights of the room lifted and illuminated Harry on stage, still in his jogging bottoms, trainers and t-shirt from this morning, but Louis loved seeing him like this. He sang his heart out, directing most of his lyrics to his boys sat on the floor, and Niall honestly thought he’d never seen his boss happier.

*****

“Can I come in yet?” Louis called, knocking gently on Harry’s dressing room door. Although he’d wanted to wait to see the outfit, Harry had been insistent on seeing Louis before he went on stage, and was excited to see a preview of his husband’s stage attire. The arena was already filling up, the pre-show playlist ringing out loudly, the crowd singing merrily along as they took their seats and positions, eagerly awaiting the start of the show. There was still half an hour left, and Jacob had gone off with Niall, exploring and finding somewhere to stand for the show, giving Harry and Louis a little alone time before the show began.

“Come in, hubby!” Harry called, and Louis grinned to himself, pushing the handle down and slipping inside the room, quickly closing it behind him. His jaw dropped as he took in the vision in front of him, Harry stood resplendent in a very glittery deep grey suit, a black blouse underneath it, showing off the very tips of his swallows tattoos. His cross necklace was dangling against his bare chest, ring hanging from it proudly, not hidden away as Louis had expected.

The cut of the suit fitted Harry’s body perfectly. The blouse clung to his slim torso enticingly, with the frilly neckline adding a little something extra that stopped it being too dull. The sparkles on the suit reflected every glimmer of light, and hugged every curve of his body, from his waist to his backside, which, Louis was pleased to see, wasn’t too hidden by the back of the jacket. He released a slow breath, admiring his husband for a second, eyes roaming all over. Harry stood a little nervously, black boot clad feet turned in slightly, running a nervous hand through his hair.

His in-ears and mic pack were sat on the table to the side of the room, and Louis stepped over, sliding his hands up and under the jacket, coming to rest on Harry’s lower back, the warmth of his skin seeping through the thin cotton of his shirt. Louis tilted his head back for a kiss and Harry complied, bringing their lips together softly, moving them together. They both moaned lowly as Harry parted his lips, letting Louis graze Harry’s tongue with his own, feeling Harry grab his hips tighter and pull their bodies closer together.

“You look fucking hot,” Louis whispered as Harry pushed his hips forwards slightly, breath shaky as he dug his fingers in to Louis’ hips, the pressure making Louis roll his eyes slightly. “Haz, we can’t get your suit dirty, come on…”

“But Lou, there’s something I’ve always wanted to do…”

“Oh god, sounds ominous,” Louis teased, letting Harry roll their hips together once more. He had a feeling he knew what it might be and broke their hold, striding over to the door and locking it before returning to his husband, now flushed and tenting his expensive designer trousers. “You know you’ve only got about half an hour before you’re on stage, right?”

“You can be quick,” Harry murmured, licking into Louis’ mouth. “So, you up for it?”

“You haven’t exactly told me what it is you want yet,” Louis breathed out, getting turned on by how desperate Harry was becoming, and how obviously he wanted Louis. “So…?”

“Always wanted to be fucked before I go onstage,” Harry confessed, blushing at his words, but Louis just smirked, nodding.

“I, um, don’t have anything here,” he said quietly, feeling Harry’s hand come to his fly, working the button open before dragging the zip down, the metal teeth parting loudly. “Don’t want to get you in a mess…”

“That’s exactly what I want, wanna go on stage with you inside me,” Harry moaned out, and Louis bit his lip at that, starting to work Harry’s trousers open now. “Um, had a shower earlier, before I got dressed and um.. I’m ready Lou.”

“Fucking hell, you dirty sod,” Louis said, shoving his own trousers and boxers down his ankles, taking his cock in hand and beginning to stroke, wanting to get himself hard and ready to fuck Harry. He couldn’t lie - he had thought about this, fucking Harry before a show but not quite this close to the start of everything. Knowing Harry wanted to go on stage a fucked out mess turned him on even more, and it wasn’t long until his cock was throbbing, precome blurting from the tip as he locked eyes with Harry, who had been watching him touch himself. “How do you want this?”

Harry wordlessly moved across the room and pushed his own trousers and underwear down, and just bent over the back of the sofa, displaying himself to Louis, looking back at him over his shoulder.

“Shit-” Louis said, hurrying over and lining himself up, pleased to see Harry had used lube before as his hole was wet with it, clearly ready for Louis. “Ready?” Harry just nodded and Louis pushed in, not too carefully as he knew Harry wanted it rough, wanted to feel it all night while he was on stage. The resulting groan and the way Harry scrabbled to grab Louis’ hand made him realise he’d done the right thing, and quickly, he withdrew nearly all the way before slamming back in. “God, you’re so tight, so filthy Harry, wanting my come in you all night on stage…”

“Yeah, want it so bad Lou, always wanted to have sex before I go on stage but never had someone to - ah! Oh god, harder baby-” Harry was mumbling now, head hung low as Louis grabbed his waist, slamming repeatedly into him. Both men knew they weren’t going to last long, too turned on by what they were doing to care, and Louis stood up, watching his cock disappear over and over into Harry’s waiting body, suit sparkling with every thrust and movement of his frame. “Louis, please- harder, need to come-”

“Alright, I’ve got you, love,” Louis murmured, parting his legs slightly and pushing Harry down by the back of his neck, changing the angle of his cock inside Harry. They both cried out as Louis bottomed out, resting there for a second before withdrawing slowly and pounding back in, repeating the rhythm over and over, Harry crying out with each thrust now. “Close baby, you close too?” Harry just nodded and Louis was relentless then, driving his cock into Harry harder with each thrust until he was about to come. He reached around and cupped his hand under Harry’s cock, ready to catch his release so he wouldn’t stain his suit, and with the other hand, stroked his husband, Harry whining with each motion.

“Oh my god, Louis - my Louis - shit, I’m coming-” Harry mumbled, body shaking with the strength of his orgasm, coming into Louis’ hand. It was that that forced the orgasm out of Louis too, coming deep inside Harry, Louis chanting Harry’s name over and over as he filled his husband up, stilling when he felt himself becoming slightly sore. He kissed the back of Harry’s neck gently as he pulled out, reaching for Harry’s t-shirt from earlier, carefully wiping his husband down until his come had stopped dripping from Harry.

Harry quickly pulled his boxers up, blushing at the realisation of what they’d done as Louis sorted himself out too. He watched as Louis headed to the small bathroom, washing his hands before coming back out and grabbing Harry, kissing him deeply again. Once they pulled away from the kiss, they sorted their trousers out, and Louis helped Harry secure his mic pack around his waist, and hooked his in-ears up inside his shirt, the ear pieces dangling over Harry’s shoulders.

There came a knock at the door then, and Louis headed over, unlocking it and smiling when he saw it was his son and Niall.

“I wanted to say good luck Daddy!” he called, running over to Harry who scooped him up, hugging him tightly. Niall just looked at Louis’ bedraggled and red-faced appearance, rolling his eyes as he guessed what the two of them had been up to. He chuckled as Harry winced when he bent down to put Jacob onto the floor, and Harry blushed deeper. Louis just smirked and winked.

“Thank you, love. Are you and Daddy going to be in the pit, in front of the stage tonight?” Jacob nodded, and took Louis’ hand, pulling him towards the door.

“We have to go! I want the best spot, Daddy! Come on!” Louis dropped Jacob’s hand for a second and headed back to Harry, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly, suddenly feeling nervous for his husband.

“Good luck. I love you Harry, and I am so proud of you. Can’t wait to watch you up there, then get you back to the hotel tonight. Will be thinking about what we just did as I watch you walk around the stage with me inside you. Our secret, yeah?”

Harry nodded and kissed Louis, his own heart racing, only five minutes to go. “Love you too, Lou. Thank you for this, for being here. Go on, you two. I’ll see you out there. Love you both.” Jacob and Louis replied and walked off, Niall following behind as they headed for the floor, easing their way past security into the cordoned off area Harry had set up for them. A few fans who were near the front threw them dirty looks but when they realised who Louis and Jacob were, they smiled and waved excitedly, Louis returning the waves with red cheeks.

The lights in the arena dimmed, plunging it into darkness, and Louis felt Jacob’s hand slide into his own, still a little nervous of the dark. The introduction video played, and the volume of the music grew, matched by the thousands of fans in the arena, eager to see their idol. Louis stared up at the stage, waiting for his husband to be revealed, and suddenly, the room was filled with light and music, the opening chords of Strong blasting out.

The screams were deafening as Harry was lit with a spotlight, his low voice rumbling out the lyrics, eyes shut as he lost himself in the words. They only opened at the chorus, Harry striding around the stage like he owned it, sequins sparkling under the hot stage lights. Louis and Jacob cheered and waved for all they were worth, Harry catching their eyes more than once, waving and blowing kisses to his family. Louis didn't miss Harry’s slight flinch as he took a long step, smiling to himself, knowing he was the reason for that. Harry laughed at that, poking his tongue out at Louis, the pair sharing a secret smile despite the thousands around them.

As the song came to an end, he stood and blew kisses to the audience, grinning around at the people who were waving flags, holding up signs and screaming his name. He was back in his element, where he belonged, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see his boys, proud smiles on their faces, Jacob now in Louis’ arms, watching his dad with excited eyes. Harry winked to Jacob and stepped back up to the microphone, eager to get the night started.

“Good evening Paris! My name’s Harry, thank you for being here with me tonight! Are you all having a good time?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for your amazing comments, and kudos. They really do keep me going.


	32. The Show Must Go On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour continues, Louis enjoys his newfound fame and Jacob has a surprise for Harry. Finally, Harry and Louis have some fun in Oslo....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manips, as always, belong to their amazing owners!
> 
> The Louis and Harry one is from the brilliant Dimploux on Twitter, used with her permission.

 

Harry grabbed his water bottle from the stairs in front of Sarah’s drum kit and took a mouthful, heading back to the front of the stage, ready for his final move. As he turned to walk to the front, Jacob caught his eye and Harry winked at both him and Louis who were waiting in the wings. The final notes of Kiwi, his last song of the night blasted through the arena to a deafening scream from the audience, and Harry dashed off stage, heading for where Louis and Jacob were stood.

He quickly bent down and let his son jump onto his back and together, the three of them ran up the corridor, heading for the exit and awaiting car which would take them to the tour bus parked a little way away. They were well versed at this now, since Harry was four stops into his tour. Jacob and Louis always made their way backstage for the encore, and it was a little tradition that they make a run for the exit together. Panting and out of breath, Harry bashed on the door until it slid open, clambering on board with Louis following on behind, the dull thud of the doors telling the boys they were in and safe.

On previous tours, Harry had shared a tour bus with his band. He’d hated being lonely and far preferred the camaraderie of people surrounding him over solitude. However, now he had Jacob and Louis, he had a bus for his family, and another for his band and the closer crew members. Jacob had asked to sleep on the other bus a few times and while Louis hadn’t yet felt comfortable with that, he knew the time was coming. Jacob was desperate for a sleepover with his self-proclaimed ‘new best friends’, Sarah, Adam, Clare and Mitch (although Louis wasn’t quite so sure Mitch was entirely sold on that title), and he could sense Clare was all but ready to give in.

“God, that was a good show,” Harry said, letting Jacob down gently and heading over to hug his husband. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s sweaty waist and kissed him, wincing at the sting of sweat he tasted on his upper lip. “Liked you two being in the wings tonight. Kept wanting to run off and kiss you though, you’re a bit of a distraction, Lou.” Louis just grinned, pecking his lips again, sighing as he met Harry’s with his own.

“Jake, get yourself ready for bed please, love. The bus will leave soon.” Jacob nodded and ran down the little gangway, jumping into his own bunk. Harry had had the bus made to his specification, leaving a little bedroom area at the back for himself and Louis where they could grab a little much-needed privacy, and Jacob had a spacious bunk area to himself, complete with TV so he could watch films as he fell asleep on the long journeys between venues. It was a strange little life on a tour bus but somehow, they made it work. Louis wasn’t actually bothered as long as he was with his boys, and far preferred this to hotel rooms. “You sounded so good tonight, babe. Love that you’re getting more confident with Medicine as well, that song is so fucking obscene.”

Harry grinned at that, nuzzling down into Louis’ neck, shielding his red cheeks. “Yeah, well, I love when the audience scream ‘tasted!’ back at me, like they’re waiting for me to tell them what it says but it’s our little secret, right?”

“You seriously think they don’t know the song is about sucking me off? Come off it Haz, you’ve seen the tweets. I only hope to god our mothers haven’t seen them…”

“Hey, my mum’s seen far worse about me. You saw all the shit that was everywhere when I started out in this business, all the endless women I had to parade around with. Now I just get to parade my sexy husband round and-”

“And sing about sucking his cock,” Louis finished with a cackle, making Harry slap his hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. “Look, you go wash up while I read Jake a story, then you can come and give him a hug, okay?” Harry nodded and kissed Louis again before heading for their bed area, stripping off his black gGucci blouse as he went, throwing it off to one side. Louis loved how he treated his stage clothes as if they cost £4.99 from Primark whenever he was done with a show, and it was always him that followed behind, folding or hanging the precious items up in the suit hangers, ready to hand back to his team.

“Where are we going tonight?” Jacob asked as Louis came over, settling down next to him on the mattress, duvet thrown over his little legs. It wasn’t cold outside being the summer but the air conditioning of the bus kept the temperature cool. He grabbed his little atlas Harry had bought him on their last stop, Jacob eager to find out more about the places they were going to and following it along. He reached to the shelf above his head and grabbed his little marker, pulling off the lid and circling around Paris, Louis pointing at it with his finger, his wedding band still shining in the low lights of the room.

“So, next up is Sweden in a couple of days, a city called Stockholm. It’s supposed to be beautiful there, I think we’ll have a nice time. Dad has a day off before he goes on stage so we have tomorrow to explore a bit if you want, love.” Jacob nodded eagerly, and the pair of them pored over the atlas for a minute, Louis trying to show Jacob how far they’d be travelling while they slept. Eventually, Harry came out of the little bathroom area in his boxers, and ambled over to his boys, sitting down on the edge of Jacob’s bed, smiling softly at their easy chatter.

“Dad, we’re going to Sweden next, that’s where Ikea is from! Me and Daddy love that shop, we used to go there and I used to try out all the beds and wardrobes and things, it’s super cool. Have you been to Ikea?”

“Yeah, love, I have. I used to like trying all the things too, we’ll have to go sometime.” Louis rolled his eyes, knowing Ikea wasn’t really the sort of place Harry tended to buy his furniture now he could afford the best, but the fact he was willing to go there just to make their son happy make him grin. He took the atlas from him and sat it back on his shelf, shuffling the blanket up over his chest and kissing him. “You have a good sleep babe, and we’ll go explore Sweden tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. Love you both lots,” Jacob said, lifting his arms up and hugging Louis, then Harry again. “I love sleeping on the bus, it’s so much fun.” He yawned widely then so Harry and Louis left him to sleep, dimming the lights of the bus to a low light, keeping things illuminated for Jacob to see if he were to wake in the night. It hadn’t happened yet, but Harry didn't want to worry his son in any way. He and Louis made their way to their bed area, collapsing on top of the bed together, fingers laced.

Louis got back up again and pulled off his clothes, grabbing his phone from the bed and started scrolling next to Harry, smiling at the selection of photos already on Twitter from the show that night. He showed Harry a couple that he loved and kept scrolling, slightly stunned by the next few photos he came across. They were taken by a fan up at the sides of the arena, and were zoomed in on himself and Jacob in the wings, grinning and dancing away. It was the caption though that melted his heart, and he snuggled closer to Harry, throwing an arm over his bare waist as he handed him his phone.

“What’s th- oh, Lou,” Harry said with a fond grin, swiping through the photos, loving the fact the tweet of his boys had such already garnered such a good amount of likes and retweets, so many of the comments kind and respectful, but also a little gushing about how handsome Louis was, and how cute their son was too. Harry felt really proud and grabbed his own phone, searching up the tweet and quickly replying, unable to resist acknowledging such a lovely message. “She’s right. I do have the best family, I’m a lucky, lucky man. Nothing better than singing a song for you, and turning around to see you there singing along too.”

“We’re having fun too,” Louis said honestly. They’d been on the road a week and while he was a little tired of the bus, he was having a really good time exploring the various cities, getting out and about, and chilling out with Harry’s band, who Louis now loved himself. “I’m so tired though, didn't realise how tiring all this touring and travelling was. How did you used to do this for months at a time?”

Harry shrugged. “Didn't have a lot in my life worth staying at home for,” he said, running his fingers through Louis’ growing hair. “Now I do, so the tours will be short and sweet for the time being.” Louis’ brow furrowed at that thought, but brushed it away quickly. Harry reached over and flicked the light off, plunging their bed area into darkness, Louis already feeling the tiredness seep into his bones.

“Get some sleep, babe,” Louis prompted, shoving at Harry’s phone with his hand, knowing that if he didn't get him to put it down, Harry would be on it for hours, a little addicted to Twitter when he had the time. “Come on, we’ve got a day out with our son tomorrow and that’s hardly a walk in the park.”

“Alright, night Lou. I love you. So much. You do know that, right?”

“Course I do, and I love you too. Couldn’t not know really, could I? You’re out there singing love songs to me every night to thousands of people, I think the whole world definitely knows.” He stretched up, kissing Harry softly, melting into a series of kisses that they both struggled to keep as chaste as possible. Tour buses definitely weren’t the place for loud sex as they usually enjoyed, and while they’d managed to make love quietly in the early hours of the morning sometimes, it wasn’t quite the same and they were both missing intimacy. Little did Harry know though, Louis had a plan for a few days time when they arrived in Oslo.

“Sweet dreams, beautiful,” Harry said, reluctantly pulling away from the kiss and letting Louis lay his cheek on his chest.

“Night, darling.”

 

*****

Two days later, Louis, Harry and Jacob were wandering around outside the arena in Stockholm, the Swedish sun burning brightly down on them. They’d spent the previous day exploring the beautiful city, and Harry had made the most of the expensive camera he’d treated himself to before the tour began, and had taken countless photos of the scenery and his boys. Louis had even had a turn behind the lens, taking some stunning photos of Harry, and then of his boys together, some he was sure he would want framed and hung in his house when they returned home.

“Oh my god!” came a loud shriek, and a loud pair of footsteps ran over, coming to a stop in front of them. Harry immediately pulled Jacob behind him, shielding him and he wove an arm around Louis’ waist, holding him against his body while the girl in front stared at the pair of them. “Oh god, you’re Harry Styles. And you’re Louis Tomlinson. Oh my god, is this real? Is this happening?” Harry could see her hands were shaking and her cheeks were reddening rapidly, so he stepped over, holding out his hands. She slowly reached out and put hers in them, still trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay love. Nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

“I’m- I’m Julia. I can’t believe this is happening, my friends said this would never happen, I can’t-” She started crying then, and Harry wrapped her up in a hug, wanting to offer as much comfort as he could. Louis was holding Jacob’s hand and was smiling at them both, waiting until Harry called him over. “Oh, you’re Harry’s boyfriend, you’re more beautiful in real life, wow.”

Louis chucked at that, a little embarrassed. He found it weird to hear himself being referred to as Harry's boyfriend again now, given he'd been his husband for weeks now, and he kind of wished he could correct her. He wasn’t used to fans being overly nice to him, usually he felt like he was there to take photos and stay out of the way, but this girl, Julia, was acting as if she was as excited to see him as she was Harry. “Hi, love, nice to meet you.” He was stunned when she escaped Harry’s embrace and flew at him, hugging him tightly around the neck too. He quickly reciprocated and patted her back while he hugged her, the girl still crying against him. “You want a picture?” he asked, Julia nodded in reply. She pulled out her phone and instead of handing it to Louis, she handed it to Harry, standing close to Louis.

“Oh, okay.” Louis grinned at the camera, Harry taking a few photos before they switched places, taking a few of her and Harry as well.

“Daddy, I can take one of you all,” Jacob said eagerly. Julia seemed keen on that idea and handed the phone to Jacob, who stuck his little tongue out as he held the phone as steady as he could, pressing the button a few times to take a couple of pictures before handing it back to the girl, who was starting to calm down by now.

“Oh wow, these are amazing, thank you all so much,” she gushed, tilting her phone to show Harry and Louis a couple of images. “I really love your songs, Harry, I can’t wait to see the tour tonight. I’ll be up at the top-”

“No, you won’t,” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis knew exactly what his husband was about to say. “Write your details down on here for me, and I’ll sort you out some tickets for the pit. Come to the security tonight and we’ll sort it out, okay?” She burst into tears again at that point and took the piece of paper Harry was offering, scrawling down her information before thanking him profusely. “My pleasure, love. Enjoy the show, okay?”

She hugged them all again, even Jacob accepting a quick hug and ran off, promising not to post the photos until later so the family could enjoy a bit more privacy.

“Wow, that was intense,” Louis laughed as they headed back towards the arena, aware Harry needed to start sound-checking again soon and getting his outfit ready. “She was lovely though. Can’t believe she wanted a picture with me though, that was weird.”

“Wasn’t,” Harry said, swinging their hands between them as Jacob ran off ahead. “You’re gorgeous, who wouldn’t want a photo with you babe?” Louis blushed at that, gaze on the concrete beneath his feet.

 

They arrived at the arena a little while later and headed in. Jacob and Louis went off to find some food while Harry soundchecked, the noise of the live music pumping loudly through the arena as they chatted with some of the crew, nibbling on something from Harry’s amazing tour catering team. Harry strolled back in and sat with them, holding Louis’ hand on top of the table as they made conversation with those around them, Harry pinching grapes from the bunch sat in front of Jacob, their son getting more animated with everyone that Harry stole, making everyone laugh.

Clare suddenly appeared then and sat next to Jacob, saying something quietly to him, a serious expression crossing the little boy’s face as he nodded, listening intently to every word she said. They stood up together then, holding hands and everyone fell silent, sensing they wanted to say something.

“Dad, Daddy, can you come to the arena please, me and Clare have something to show you.” Harry and Louis looked at each other, neither of them expecting this and nodded, getting to their feet and following the pair to the main arena. Clare pointed at the floor where there were a few seats, and Louis led the way, sitting down next to Harry, their hands linked as they rested on Harry’s thigh, eagerly awaiting whatever surprise Jacob had in store them.

They watched as Clare grabbed a tall stool, lifting Jacob carefully onto it, standing next to him on another keyboard. The arena was relatively quiet, only the soft chatter of the crew filling the room, and Clare’s lovely Scottish lilt rang through crystal clear.

“Okay, Harry and Louis, Jacob and I have been practicing something for the past ten days, and he wanted to show you. We might have to start over, but he’s practised really hard and I’m proud of him. Ready, darling?” Jacob nodded, and the first piano notes of Harry’s song Sign of the Times played out, Harry’s jaw dropping.

Clare was playing the main chords but Jacob was joining in with them, switching to the melody as Clare played. He also sang quietly as he played, not near enough to the microphone to be heard loudly but Harry would know that sound anywhere in the world. He sat up straight, eyes fixed on Jacob, incredibly touched by what he was seeing, almost tearing up at the emotion of the night. They sang the first verse and chorus, Jacob playing along with a look of serious concentration on his face, and when they finished,  the arena erupted into loud applause, Harry sprinting for the metal staircase, up onto the stage and scooped Jacob up into his arms.

“Oh my god, Jake, that was so amazing!” He said through his tears, mouthing his thanks at Clare who was stood watching fondly. “You’re so clever, have you been practising with Clare lots for that?”

“Yeah, I really like playing the keyboard and Clare wanted to teach me. We’re going to learn something new soon but I wanted to show you and Dad that cos I love you and I thought you would like it.”

“Well, you’re right there, I absolutely love it,” Harry confessed, squeezing the boy before putting him down gently. He stepped over to Clare then and hugged her too, grateful to have such good friends around him. “Thank you, love. That was amazing, I can’t believe you did that.”

“Ah, it’s a pleasure,” she said, smiling over at Jacob who had run off to find Louis by now. “He’s a great kid, Harry. Such a polite young man, a real credit to you.”

“That’s all Lou,” Harry said seriously. “He’s done an amazing job raising Jacob, especially since he’s on his own with him.”

“He’s not anymore, though, is he?” Clare said knowingly, reaching for Harry’s left hand and holding it up, bringing his attention to his wedding band. “He’s your son now too, and you should be so proud of him.”

“I am, more than anything,” Harry said and hugged her again before joining his boys. Time was ticking away quickly, and before he knew it, he was getting dressed into his frilly black Harris Reed shirt and tight trousers that Louis had spent far too long staring at in their dressing room while Jacob was off with a few of the crew. They headed out, ready to watch the support act on stage when they were collared by Harry’s tour photographer.

“You two,” she called out, stopping them in their tracks. “Stand there, let me get a picture.” They stood close and smiled at the camera, holding hands. “Oh come on. Give me something new. Pose. Let me see your best poses, I know you’ve got it in you.” Harry quickly turned it on, used to posing for photoshoots and Louis laughed, Emily snapping a few pictures before he joined in too, gazing at the camera with sultry eyes, or at least, his attempt at them. “Oh god, perfect. You’re gonna love this, Harry.”

She held up the screen of her camera and they huddled around, looking it before they burst into laughter. “

“Oh lord,” Louis said through his laughter. “We look ridiculous. But I love it. Send it to me later please, Em?” She nodded and headed off, always snapping photos of backstage that Harry liked to share on Twitter, giving fans a glimpse into what went on behind the scenes, the bits they never got to see. “Better let you go and get ready, Jake and I are in the pit tonight, but we’ll be up in time for the last one, okay?”

“Alright babe,” Harry said, leaning in to accept Louis’ kiss. “Enjoy the show, alright? Hitting the road again tonight and want some cuddles in bed.”

“Course, love you,” Louis called as he walked away.

“Love you too!” Harry watched on until Louis’ frame had turned the corner and sighed, readying himself for yet another night on stage.

 

*****

“Dad. Daddy. Dad. Daddy.” Harry cracked open an eye as a finger started prodding at his chest, Jacob’s little whispers filling the room. The bus was still fairly dark, telling Harry it was early and he looked over to Louis who was sound asleep still. Groaning, he swung his legs out of bed and adjusted himself in his boxers, trying to hide his morning erection before he got out of bed, putting his finger to his lips, telling Jacob to be quiet. They headed out of the bedroom together, slumping down on the sofa, Jacob clambering into Harry’s lap as he flicked on the television on one wall.

“You’re up a bit early, love,” Harry said, letting Jacob settle down into a comfortable position before leaning his own head back against the wall and closing his eyes again. He didn't mind the early starts with Jacob, in fact, he relished the time alone with the boy but sometimes, he just craved a lie in.

“I’m too excited about my day with Uncle Niall,” the boy confessed, wide eyed and with an excited smile on his face. Harry sent his own smile back to the boy then, knowing Niall had a fun few things arranged for him, and to be honest, he was looking forward to a few hours alone with Louis. They’d only been on tour a few weeks but it felt like so long since they’d been properly alone, able to have anything but a chaste kiss in front of the crew, and even if they just spent a few hours alone on the bus, it would make up for the recent lack of intimacy.

“I know, Jake. I know he’s got a few things planned you’re going to love, but you have to promise me you’re going to be on your behaviour, okay? No asking him to buy you lots of things, I’m going to give you some pocket money so if you want anything, you need to spend that money. And you need to hold Niall’s hand everywhere and listen to everything he says.”

“I know, Dad,” Jacob said with a sigh, and Harry struggled to bite back a smile at the typical Tomlinson sass that was creeping in more regularly the older Jacob got. Louis hated it, but he hated even more when Harry bit back that he was just turning into his Daddy, both of them knowing that was entirely true. “Can we have something to eat please, I’m hungry.”

“Again?” Harry joked, letting Jacob sit on the sofa next to him while he got up and fetched some cereal from their little kitchen area, watching as Jacob poured himself a generous bowlful. “You’ve got hollow legs, boy, I’m telling you.” Jacob giggled and started munching on the Coco Pops that Louis had found in a little store a few days ago, much to the delight of both Jacob and Louis, and Harry instead picked up an apple, unable to bear such sugary food so early.

A few hours later, Niall had come by and taken a very excited Jacob off with him. Harry had given him some Norwegian Kroner, which Jacob had at first insisted was play money and that Harry was winding him up. Louis had eventually persuaded him it was real and they waved the pair off, Niall promising to call if there was any problems. Instead of staying on the bus, Louis had surprised Harry by grabbing his bag and flinging it over his shoulder, telling him to follow him. Harry had of course done just that, and was a bit surprised when they came to a stop in front of a small hotel.

Louis headed in first, telling Harry he wouldn’t be noticed by anyone, and soon enough, he reappeared with a black keycard in his hand, holding his free one out for his husband to take. Harry stepped into the lift beside Louis and pressed the button for the floor on the card, the small lift shuddering to a halt, the door squeaking as they opened. Louis headed down the corridor and came to a stop outside a door numbered 312 and slid the key in, the light going green before they entered.

It was nowhere the standard of the usual hotels they stayed in. It was just a small room, windows overlooking the city and a king sized bed in the middle. Louis sighed and let his head fall back, already enjoying being in a new environment with just his husband and soon sidled over, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, bringing him down into a kiss.

“What’s this for then?” Harry mumbled between kisses, enjoying how Louis was pressing his body closely to his own, for once able to touch how they liked with no-one watching them. Something about this felt exciting, slipping off with his husband to a hotel room. No-one knew where they were, who they were or what they were about to do, and something about thought turned Harry on quite a bit. He deepened the kiss, parting Louis’ lips with his tongue and dipping inside, letting their tongues tangle together for a few moments. “Didn't want to stay on the bus?”

“Nope,” Louis muttered, starting to undo the buttons of Harry’s shirt, running his hands all over his skin. “Can’t do the things I want to do on the bus. Wanted to be sure we wouldn’t get caught.” He smirked up at him then, dipping his mouth to take Harry’s nipple between his lips, sucking and licking over it quickly, working Harry up and making him moan. “I’ve got plans…”

“Oh, do you?” Harry asked back, and sighed with relief as his shirt fell to the floor, Louis’ quick and nimble fingers now attacking the button of his jeans, seemingly desperate to get his husband naked. “Christ, you’re keen, Lou…”

“Been too long since I’ve seen you naked… not acceptable,” Louis said as he shoved Harry’s jeans and boxers down his thighs, letting Harry kick them away, full naked now. Harry made quick work of doing the same to Louis, and as he went to tip them both back onto the bed, Louis stumbled and righted himself, leaning over to grab his rucksack. “So, I had an idea… I brought something from home…”

Harry shivered at the thought Louis might have chosen something from the box now hidden away at the back of their wardrobe, well out of the reach of their inquisitive son. They hadn’t played with anything since they’d initially tried the dildo, but when Harry was alone in arena bathrooms, and needing to get off, he found his thoughts drifting to the idea of playing more with Louis, of trying out more of his husband’s favourite things. He bit his lip and waited for Louis to continue, watching as he unzipped his bag. There was a low clunk and Harry tried not to gasp when Louis pulled the item out, dangling it from one finger.

“Oh,” was all Harry could breath out, thinking Louis had most definitely made the right choice. The metal chain of the handcuffs glinted in the low light of the hotel room and Harry swallowed heavily, mind racing with ideas of what exactly Louis had in mind. “Fuck. Yeah, Lou, I like that… a lot. Um, on you or on me? I don’t mind, what were you thinking?”

“On me,” Louis said, a slight blush covering his cheeks. “Want you to cuff me to the bed and do what you want with me. Up for that?”

“Shit, fuck - god, Lou, what do you think?” Harry said, already letting his hand drift down to stroke himself, his cock far too interested in what Louis was asking of him. “So… I can do what I want?”

“Yep, I'll tell you if I need you stop, okay?” Harry nodded as he took the cuffs, looking down at them like he’d never seen them before, which, of course, wasn’t true, thanks to Jacob. “But first, let me…”

He suddenly dropped to his knees and took Harry’s half hard cock between his lips, kitten licking the tip and pulling back to press kisses to his shaft. Slowly, he sucked him down, his hand wrapped around the base where he couldn’t fit it all in and ran his tongue again around the head, moaning at the taste and feel of his husband. They hadn’t had privacy to do anything except quick handjobs in bathrooms, and blowjobs under the covers late at night while Jacob slept, and he was planning on taking full advantage today, for the few hours he had Harry to himself.

“Oh god, Lou… look so good with your mouth stuffed full of my cock, love you so much,” Harry mumbled, his fingers laced in Louis’ hair, gently guiding his movements without taking over. “You need to stop babe, I’m gonna come and don’t - ah, god, want to come inside you-” Louis popped off and kissed the tip again, eagerly licking his lips, enjoying the taste of Harry again after so long. Harry pulled Louis to his feet and grabbed his wrists, holding them in front of him while he quickly snapped the cuffs on, intending to perhaps cuff him to the bed later on. For now though, he wanted to be able to move him around the room.

He wasted no time in returning the blow job, sucking Louis down eagerly, only pulling off when he sensed Louis was about to come, leaving him hard and moaning in front of him, exactly how Harry liked. He had plans though, plans that didn't involve his husband coming for quite a while.

“Hands and knees on the bed,” he instructed, and watched as Louis struggled to comply with his bound wrists, propping himself up on his elbows, trying to peer back and see what Harry was up to. Harry just looked at his husband for a moment, turned on by how exposed he was for him and stroked his cock quickly, a bit unable to believe Louis was letting this side of him out again just for Harry, another secret for them to share. He moaned as he thumbed over the tip and shuffled over to the bed, getting on his knees behind Louis, who was panting himself now at the anticipation of Harry touching him.

Louis cried out when Harry surprised him by dipping his head and licking a broad stripe across his hole. They hadn’t done this for far too long, and Harry hadn’t even confessed to Louis exactly how much he loved eating him out, loving how wrecked it made Louis, and how he savoured the taste of his husband that was just so _him_. Harry grabbed Louis’ cheeks with both hands, parting them so he could lick deeper, making Louis whimper and cry his name repeatedly as Harry kissed and sucked at his rim, licking in gentle circles before pushing his tongue inside. Louis was wriggling against the mattress, his cock hanging heavy between his legs, desperate for release but Harry wasn’t having it.

He slid a hand between his legs, holding on around the base of Louis’ cock so he couldn’t come and smirked, licking out again, dipping down to his balls this time. Louis’ bound hands were clenching at the hotel sheets, precome dribbling down onto them but Harry didn't care. All he cared about was this feeling, how good Louis looked completely at his mercy and how much they were both enjoying this.

“Harry, oh, oh right there- baby, want you to fuck me, please, please make me come,” Louis pleaded, tears in his eyes from how good he was feeling now. Harry didn't relent, still kissing and licking wildly, his own cock craving attention now. As soon as it had started, Harry suddenly pulled away, pressing a final kiss to Louis’ hole before reaching for the key and uncuffing Louis.

Louis just frowned but Harry made a circular motion with his fingers, telling him wordlessly he wanted him to turn over, which Louis did. Louis then raised his arms above his head near the bars of the headboard and let Harry cuff him back to that, settling down between his parted thighs. Harry stood up and grabbed the lube, coating his fingers and quickly and efficiently opened his husband up for him, enjoying the sounds he was pulling from Louis as he yanked against the restraints, wrists reddening, making Harry stop to check he was okay more than once.

“Yeah, I love it, wanna feel you inside, please baby-” Harry just nodded and crept forwards, lining the tip of his cock against Louis’ hole, gently pushing forwards. Louis cried out as the tip slipped inside him, not having had sex for a while so his body wasn’t quite used to Harry’s size, compared to when they were at home and having sex more often that not. Harry bent down and kissed him as he pushed his whole length in, bottoming out quickly and resting inside, enjoying the sensation of Louis’ tightness and warmth around him, and how Louis was shutting his eyes, losing himself in the feeling too.

“You can move, love,” Louis whispered, accepting another kiss from Harry. Although he was handcuffed to the bed, there was still something tender about this that neither of them could shift. Harry began to rock his hips, sliding in and out of Louis’ body smoothly as they kissed, Harry’s hands cupping Louis’ cheeks. “Love you so much.”

“Love you too,” Harry mumbled back, bending his head so he could suck a love bite into his husband’s collarbone tattoo, one of his favourite places to mark him up. Occasionally, Louis wore a t-shirt low enough at the neck to expose the mark, and part of Harry hoped he would wear something like that tonight, to show the world he was Harry’s, and how much they still wanted each other. “So good for me, love you all tied up like this, taking me so well baby.”

Louis just nodded, wrapping his legs up around Harry’s waist a little higher, trying to get him deeper and harder inside. Harry knew from that what Louis needed, they were so in tune they didn't need to speak to read each other’s bodies and movements. He sat up a little more, thrusting hard for a few seconds before pulling back, looking at Louis to check this was okay and when he knew it was, he started pounding harder, drawing grunts from Louis with each thrust. He sat upright then, hands gripping at Louis’ hips as he watched himself fuck his husband, eyes drifting up to where Louis’ hands lay prone above his head, wrists linked by the handcuffs, leather bracelets wrapped around his delicate wrists.

“Fuck, harder Harry, want it rough-” Louis rasped out, breathing heavily as Harry shut his eyes, ramming his hips forward, making Louis cry out. His linked ankles rested on the base of Harry’s back, both bodies sweating now with the exertion and both were greedily chasing their own orgasms. Harry could see how much Louis wanted to reach down and touch himself, and smirked at the realisation he of course couldn’t. Harry didn't want to touch him either, far preferring the idea of Louis coming untouched.

“Gonna come for me, baby? Gonna get all messy for me?” Harry winked down, remembering the first night Louis had fucked him before the show and left him messy too, Harry enjoying the sensation all night, Louis laughing when he winced with any sharp movements. It was becoming a bit of a ritual now, the pair indulging in something sexual before Harry went on stage, but this took it to a whole new level, and he wished he could have this every night. It would certainly give him a certain energy on stage. “Not til I’ve come though, okay?”

Louis nodded and begged Harry to kiss him, Harry quickly doing so and chasing his own impending orgasm, the feeling bubbling low in his stomach, so close by now. Harry pulled away from the kiss long enough to stare into Louis’ eyes, his own gaze flitting up to see Louis’ little wrists chained to the bed, and that visual was enough to send him flying over the edge, coming hard inside Louis, thrusting deep and staying there to make sure he filled Louis up. “Oh, fuck, Louis- feel so good, love you, love coming in you.”

“Me too, but I wanna come, Harry please-” Louis was begging, tears filling his eyes now. He had been on the verge of orgasm so many times, and he was desperate for release. To his surprise, Harry didn't uncuff him. Instead, he bent down and took Louis’ cock in his mouth, sucking eagerly, lapping up the precome blurting from the tip, making Louis cry out. He pulled against the restraints once more, wrists stinging slightly but he didn't want to stop, was too turned on for that. It didn't long for him to come, shooting down Harry’s throat with a cry of his name, hips bucking up as Harry struggled to swallow everything.

When he finally let up from Louis’ cock, Harry immediately grabbed the small silver key, unlocking the cuffs and letting them drop to the mattress with a clunk. Harry lifted each of Louis’ wrists up and kissed the red skin, hating a little how his husband was marked by these and not his own lips.

“Hey, I’m okay, don’t worry, the redness will go,” Louis assured him, letting Harry kiss his lips now. “I like a reminder anyway, that was amazing babe. You were okay about all that, right?”

“Mmmm,” Harry hummed in agreement, laying back next to Louis and taking a few deep breaths, resting on the cool sheet next to Louis, wincing as his leg hit a small damp patch below. “Love you, Lou. Needed that. Missed you so much, feels like we haven’t fucked in forever.”

“I know, tour buses aren’t the best place when you’re horny, right?” They both laughed at that, and shut their eyes, both entirely worn out from their orgasms and the feeling of finally letting go of weeks worth of pent up frustration. “But, um,  you were okay with that, right? Me bringing something for us to play with?”

“Yeah, course I was. Really enjoyed it, was hoping it might have been the cuffs when you said you’d chosen something.” Harry smiled, blushing at the realisation this sort of thing was very much a part of their sex lives now. “You know I’d tell you if I didn't like it, but I do, Lou. I want to be the one to try these things with you, to make you feel good. I trust you with this, with me, I promise I do. Love you so much.”

“Love you too,” Louis mumbled in reply, curling up against Harry’s sweaty body, both sticking with sweat and come now. “Let’s shower then we can have a nap and get back to Jake. You gotta get to the venue anyway.” Harry groaned and threw his arm back over his eyes.

“Wish we could stay like this forever,” he rasped lowly. “Miss time to ourselves, to just be like this, naked and in bed and hugging.”

“I know, but we’ve got the honeymoon to look forward to. I’m on it, don’t worry,” Louis said, tickling his finger up and down Harry’s spine. He was shocked when Harry suddenly leapt up, running for the bathroom.

“Last one in the shower has to give a blowjob!” he called, cackling when Louis swore at him.

“Oh, you little shit…!”


	33. Telling the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tour comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, manips used within do not belong to me but to their owners!

  


“I cannot believe this is it,” Louis said, reaching for an apple from the little fruit bowl in Harry’s dressing room. He took a big bite, grimacing slightly as the juice trickled down his chin and wiped it away with the corner of his sleeve. Jacob was asleep on the sofa along the back wall, having woken up from a bad dream in the early hours of the morning and had been unable to get back to sleep. Louis had stayed up with him since Harry had a show that night and needed his rest, but it broke Louis’ heart to hear his son cry like that. Now, though, he looked peaceful with Harry’s hoodie draped over his sleeping form to keep him warm, and neither man had wanted to leave their son, even for a few minutes.

Harry changed position on the sofa, laying his head down in Louis’ lap. He felt a little strange today, knowing it was the final night of his tour. It had been five long weeks on the tour, but finally, it was all coming to an end. Their families were due to arrive soon, and Harry couldn’t wait for them all to finally be part of the show. He’d made sure that there was an area in the pit for them all to stand so he could see them throughout the show, and they were taking Jacob home with them afterwards, giving him and Louis more much needed time together. He sighed as Louis started running his fingers through his hair, pushing them back gently from his forehead and nuzzling into it. Nothing calmed him more than this sort of touch and it was moments like this, the calm before the storm of the night, that he needed.

“Feels weird, I can’t believe it’s done so quick,” Harry confessed, letting his eyes drift shut. “It’s been the best five weeks though. The fans are just amazing, aren’t they? So supportive, and so kind. I’m a bit sad it’s ending, to be honest.”

“I know, love, but you’ll do it again, right?” Louis frowned as Harry just shrugged slightly, moving his head to encourage Louis’ hand to start moving again. “Well, anyway. It’s been the best experience, watching you up there and doing your thing. I’m so proud of you Harry. Not just for the show, but for everything. For being you out there, for wearing those amazing outfits, for not caring what anyone thinks. You get out on that stage every night and you own it. And you’re my husband. Fuck, I’m the luckiest guy in the world right now.”

He looked down, waiting for Harry’s answer and chuckled gently when he saw his boy had fallen fast asleep, much like their son on the opposite sofa. Gently, he placed his hands under Harry’s head and supported it while he slipped his body out, leaving the room quietly and shutting the door behind him. He smiled at a few familiar faces as he walked down the corridors of the Manchester Arena until his phone buzzed. He paused and grabbed it from his pocket, smiling when he saw it was his Mum letting him know they’d all arrived.

Louis jogged down the corridor and through to the main lobby, grinning when he saw the gaggle of Tomlinson-Deakins and Styles-Twists stood together, chattering loudly. He walked over slowly, and it was of course his mum who spotted him first.

“Lou!” she practically sprinted at him, slamming against her son and wrapping him in the tightest of hugs. Louis loved his mums hugs, always had. He had missed her terribly since he’d been in Europe with Harry and Jacob, he was used to seeing her at least once a week and he’d surprised himself with how much he’d longed to see them. Now, though, he felt content, back in her arms. He soon worked his way around the gathered group of people, kissing and hugging each of them.

“Where’s my son?” Anne asked, peering around for any sign of Harry. “And my grandson, too, actually. What are they up to, Lou?”

Louis laughed at that, ready to expose the pair of them for the rock n roll father and son they really were. “I’m afraid it’s really not very exciting, they’re both sound asleep in Harry’s dressing room,” Louis confessed, and everyone laughed. “Jake didn't have a good night and Haz just fell asleep while I was talking, so yeah, on my own again.”

“Not anymore love, we’re here now,” Jay said, wrapping an arm around him. “Gonna take us backstage and show us what’s going on then? Oh, Zayn and Stan are running a bit late but they said they’d call when they got here, hope that’s okay?”

“Course it is,” Louis said, handing out an armful of VIP passes a security guard had brought over to them, everyone looping one around their necks so they wouldn’t be stopped as they wandered around. “Let’s go and wake my boys up anyway.” He missed the fond smile between his mum and Anne as he led the way, chatting easily to the security guard who was walking with them.

But as they were heading down the corridor, the thud of quick footsteps ran down and Jacob threw himself into Jay’s waiting arms, squeezing her tightly before wriggling down and crashing into Anne as well, giving her just as tight a hug as he gave Jay.

“You’re all here! I can’t wait to show you everything, Dad just woke me up and said you’d be here soon… I’m so excited! DAD! DAD THEY’RE ALL HERE!” Jacob hollered, and everyone smiled at his enthusiasm. A sleepy looking Harry emerged from around the corner then and hugged his own mum and sister before hugging Louis’ family too.

“Excuse my husband’s knackered looking face,” Louis said with a roll of his eyes, smiling gently at Harry as he bent down to kiss Louis’ lips quickly. “Clearly my heartfelt speech literally bored you to sleep, love. Thanks for that.” Harry stood behind Louis and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Sorry baby, was just wiped out. Love you. Everyone want a tour?” They all nodded eagerly and followed Louis and Harry who were holding hands, Jacob stood between his nannies as they made their way into the arena. Everyone was a little overwhelmed by how big it felt when it was empty, and they all wandered around, taking everything in. The younger children were running around in the vast empty pit areas, and Harry and Louis stood talking to the adults, letting them know what was going to happen tonight.

“But before all that, we’ve got dinner backstage with the band and the crew, if everyone’s okay with that?” Harry questioned, pleased to see everyone nod. “And Lou and I have a little something to settle between ourselves. Oh stop it, Lottie, nothing like that…” He smirked over to her, knowing exactly what her raised eyebrows meant.

“PING PONG!” Jacob screamed from down on the floor, Harry grinning down at his son from the catwalk. “Dad and Daddy have been playing ping pong every night and tonight is the final! But I don’t know who I want to win so I just cheer for them both!”

“He’s going down tonight,” Louis said, laughing at Harry’s indignant expression. “Oh come off it, Styles-”

“Tomlinson.”

“Sorry, Tomlinson. I’ve been going easy on you for the past two weeks. Now I’m gonna make a comeback and kick your ass. Not letting you win just because it’s the last night on the tour. Got to have a little something over you, haven’t I?”

“Boys, come on. It’s just a fun game, there’s no need to-”

“Oh, yes there is,” Harry interrupted his mother then, hands on his hips. “He might be my husband but no-one mocks my Ping Pong skills. No-one. I’m gonna have no mercy on you tonight, Louis William Tomlinson.”

“Oh, bring it on, Harry Edward Sty-Tomlinson.” He quickly corrected the name as Harry brought his left hand up to Louis’ face, practically shoving his wedding ring at him. “You’re all gonna watch, aren’t you?” Everyone nodded and Louis sighed. They made their way backstage again and through to the catering area, Harry introducing everyone in the family to the crew, happy with how easily everyone was getting along. He adored having his family with him, and he felt complete when they were all around.

They ate quickly and not at all quietly, passing around platters of food that they all shared, jumping in and out of each other’s conversations. Jacob was sat between Anne and Jay again, both women having missed their grandson terribly. He was chatting away about the things he’d seen, the places he’d been and it was clear he’d learnt lots too, both Harry and Louis keen to educate him as well as letting him have an amazing summer holiday with the pair of them. All too soon, it was ping pong time.

There was a table set up backstage as always, and Harry did a few limbering up exercises while Louis stood, leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand. Harry grabbed it and stepped over, snapping a photo of the two of them before Louis could object.

“Okay, same rules as always. Best of 5. Sarah’s decision is final. Ready?” They stepped forwards and shook hands across the net as they always did, trying to stare each other down. Their gathered families laughed at how seriously they were taking it, and a hush fell as they started to play, the only noise their feet on the floor and the tap of the ball hitting the table. It was a fraught half an hour. Louis swore far too often when he missed the ball, Harry had to call a time-out when his sweaty hair started falling in his eyes and he had to run and grab a headscarf. It felt like a world championship final, not a battle for supremacy between two husbands.

“Okay, match point,” Sarah said from her position at the side of the table. She rolled her eyes as Harry yanked off his t-shirt, too hot by now, and Lottie and Fizzy averted their gazes, finding Harry a little much sometimes. The man was totally shameless, given he had the smallest shorts in history on as well. “Ready and… .go!” The ball bounced quickly between them, both men’s faces lined with concentration, and it seemed like the point might go on forever, until…

“YES! OH, YOU TAKE THAT TOMLINSON!” Harry cheered, throwing his arms and bat up into the air, not realising Jay was taking a photo of his moment of celebration. “Now who’s the Ping Pong champ, hey Lou?”

Louis was in a huff. He threw his bat down onto the table and slumped onto the chair next to Robin, arms folded across his chest. “Oh, whatever. You suck, Harry.”

“Only when you ask nicely,” Harry said sweetly, not caring their entire families heard such a comment. Louis choked for a second and glared up at Harry, hating when he made inappropriate comments about their sex life in front of their families. Harry just laughed it off, putting his bat on the table and heading over to shake Louis’ hand. “Come on Lou, be a good loser.”

“Fuck you,” Louis mouthed at Harry, smiling a tight smile at him as they shook hands before Harry yanked him forwards, their bodies colliding as Harry hugged him tightly, Louis battling to escape the hold much to their families amusement. “Let me go, Harold!”

“You love it, love being held down…” Harry murmured, and Louis could feel himself go boneless at those words, the way Harry was teasing him like this. He tried to pull back again, determined not to pop an erection around their families and managed to get away, getting onto his tiptoes to kiss Harry quickly, showing that really, there was no hard feelings. “Later, okay?” Louis just nodded, sliding his hand into Harry’s. “I’d better go and get ready but you guys feel free to chill around here with Lou, see you in a bit.”

Harry kissed Louis and went over to Jacob, hugging and kissing him too before he went off, to finally get ready for his final performance. Louis’ heart was already racing, and Harry hadn’t even gone on stage yet. The venue doors had only just opened as well, and Louis led the family back to the largest dressing room where Harry had had lots of extra seats installed for everyone. As he watched his family gather together in the room, talking amongst themselves, everyone mixing seamlessly, he wondered how exactly he’d gotten so lucky. He was literally living a dream, and he could only hope it wouldn’t all come crashing down around him.

*****

“Manchester! You do not know how happy I am to be home!” Harry shouted in the microphone, the fans screaming back at him in their thousands, stamping their feet and making such a din in the arena, Louis and Jacob could feel it vibrate through the floor. This particular crowd had been wild from the minute Harry had stepped onto the stage and started singing, and an hour in, it showed no sign of abating. Jay, Dan and the other Tomlinson’s were shocked by everything but were thoroughly enjoying themselves, whereas Gemma, Anne and Robin, veterans of Harry’s concerts were chilling and enjoying watching their boy on stage.

Louis was stood with Jacob who was perched on the metal rail so he could see, proudly wear yet more of his father’s merch as he waved to him on stage.

“Hey Jake! I see ya, love. Enjoying yourself?” He grinned as Jacob nodded and sent him a thumbs up, Harry returning it with an even bigger smile. “As you all probably know, my beautiful hus-boyfriend Louis and our son Jacob have been touring with me for the past few weeks out in Europe, and I’ve had such a blast touring with them.” Louis cocked an eyebrow at Harry at his near slip-up, and Harry couldn’t help but giggle, realising yet again he’d nearly given the game away.

“But as well as having my amazing boys with me, our families are both here tonight as well for the first time, which is really exciting! My wonderful mother, step dad and sister are here - they’ve always been my greatest support so thank you for coming along as always, I love you guys so much. And for the first time, Louis’ family are here too, so hi to Jay, Dan, Lottie, Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy, hope you guys are enjoying the show! It’s so great to have you here.” He gave them all a wave as the crowd cheered for them too, Harry waving back at them as they all grinned, Louis watching on with pride in his eyes.

“As you guys all know, this is the last stop of the tour.” A chorus of boos rang out, and luckily, Harry laughed them off. “I know, I know. But I’ve got a family and a home to get back to, but I’m sure I’ll be back out soon enough, don’t worry.” They cheered again, and Louis looked around at the thousands of smiling faces. “But since this is the last show, I have something a bit special for you all. I’m going to sing an extra song tonight.” The crowd went wild again, and a hush fell over the arena soon after as they eagerly awaited more. “This one is for someone so special to me. I wrote this a few months ago, and haven’t shared it with anyone until now, not even him. This man saved me in so many ways. He showed me what it is to love, and to be loved. He gave me a family, a son I love more than anything. He’s the only one I want to wake up and fall asleep next to for the rest of my life. Louis, this one is for you. I love you. This is _If I Could Fly._ ”

Louis could feel tears prickling at the backs of his eyes as he watched Harry walk to the back of the stage, grabbing his acoustic guitar and slipping it over his body. Harry walked back to the microphone and smiled at Louis, blowing him a kiss. Jay walked over and took Louis’ hand, knowing her son would be emotional. The arena was silent as Harry started to strum, and everyone listened to every word of love Harry sang.

_If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you_  
_I think I might give up everything, just ask me to_  
_Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down_ _  
Right now I'm completely defenseless_

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_  
_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_  
_Now you know me, for your eyes only_ _  
For your eyes only_

_I've got scars even though they can't always be seen_  
_And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing_  
_Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down_  
_Right now I'm completely defenseless_

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_  
_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_  
_Now you know me, for your eyes only  
For your eyes only_

_I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it_  
_I've been going out of my mind, I feel it, I feel it_  
_Know that I'm just wasting time_  
_And I hope that you don't run from me_  
  
_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_  
_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_ _  
Now you know me, for your eyes only_

_For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
_For when you're lonely and forget who you are_  
_I'm missing half of me when we're apart_  
_Now you know me, for your eyes only_  
_For your eyes only_ _  
For your eyes only_

As Harry sang the final line, his voice cracked with emotion, and it was when he looked down to Louis, locking eyes with him again, that he started crying. His guitar hung from the strap as he put his head in his hands, shaking with emotion as he shed tear after tear. Louis had had enough. He vaulted the metal barrier in front of him and headed for the metal stairs to the side of the catwalk. The crowd were going mad now, realising what was happening and Louis sprinted up onto the stage. Harry had noticed him and quickly pulled his guitar off just in time for Louis to crash into him, hugging his husband for the world to see.

Anne and Jay were crying in each other’s arms, Lottie and Fizzy were supporting Jacob who was also a little emotional watching his dads like this, and it seemed each of the thousands and thousands of people in the arena were crying for them as well. Harry and Louis just stood and hugged each other for a moment before Harry pulled back, gently pecking Louis’ lips out of sight of the cameras.

“I love you so much, that was for you, only for you,” he whispered, wiping Louis’ tears away with a gentle thumb. They smiled at each with wobbly smiles, faces full of such love. Harry sighed and let Louis hug him again, not caring he was holding the entire show up as he sought affection from his husband.

“I’ll let you get on, but I love you too. That was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Will you sing it for me again at home? Just us?” Harry nodded and kissed Louis again before he ran off stage, into the wings. He hoped Gemma or someone would bring Jacob up there soon, and instead watched from there as his family swayed along to the next song, Sign of the Times.

During the encore, Harry ran straight into Louis’ arms again, and they spent the two minutes cuddling and kissing, ignoring everyone around them as they lost themselves in their embrace. Clare, Mitch, Adam and Sarah watched on fondly, none of them wanting to hurry Harry or tear him away from this moment he was having. Eventually though, he did go on stage with Mitch and performed an acoustic number from one of his earlier albums. It was quite a haunting song, and Louis loved Harry’s raspy voice in this one. As the song ended, his heart started to race as he realised what exactly he was about to do. It was a surprise. No-one, except the band, knew about this. Not even Harry.

As he stood talking to the audience, Louis grabbed a microphone from one of the stage hands, quickly changing out his t-shirt for a new one, and a jacket he’d purposely left backstage for this moment. Instead of coming in with the cover song that Harry was expecting, the open beats of Home rang out, Harry swinging around to Adam, looking puzzled. Louis took a deep breath and started to sing as he walked onto the stage, seeing his family stunned out of the corner of his eye.

_Make a little conversation, so long I've been waiting_  
_To let go of myself and feel alive_  
_So many nights I thought it over, told myself I kind of liked ‘em_  
_But there was something missing in their eyes_

_I was stumbling_  
_Looking in the dark with an empty heart_  
_But you say you feel the same_ _  
Could we ever be enough? Baby we could be enough_

Their expressions were nothing on Harry’s though. Harry was still stunned as the chorus began, but he managed to collect himself enough to reach for Louis’ free hand with his own, holding on tightly as they sang together, voices in perfect harmony. Louis’ nerves melted away as he stared into Harry’s eyes, shining with unshed tears as they sang the song Louis wrote for his husband.

_And it's alright_  
_Calling out for somebody to hold tonight_  
_When you're lost, I'll find a way, I'll be your light_  
_You'll never feel like you're alone_ _  
I'll make this feel like home_

_So hot that I couldn't take it, wanna wake up and see your face_  
_And remember how good it was being here last night_  
_Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in_ _  
It was there, I saw it in your eyes_

_I was stumbling_  
_Looking in the dark with an empty heart_  
_But you say you feel the same_ _  
Could we ever be enough? Baby we could be enough_

_And it's alright_  
_Calling out for somebody to hold tonight_  
_When you're lost, I'll find a way, I'll be your light_  
_You'll never feel like you're alone_ _  
I'll make this feel like home_

They finished out the song together, belting out the words with such passion, everyone around them was overcome and crying too. Harry was still in shock, unable to believe Louis had done this for him, had come on stage to sing with him, despite telling Harry it was his worst nightmare. Louis sang out the last line on his own, and when he finished, the arena just exploded. Harry had never heard anything like it as he scooped Louis up, spinning him around with the biggest smile on his face.

He set him back down, cupping his cheeks in his palms and crashed their lips together, putting every ounce of love he had into the kiss much to the delight of the screaming fans all around. Harry parted his lips, letting Louis slide his tongue into his mouth, not caring that the kiss was becoming too obscene for where they were stood. He needed Louis, more than anything in that moment, wanted to thank him for what he’d just done. He’d made yet another of Harry’s dreams come true. With that though, Harry made another decision. He hoped Louis would be okay with it, because he knew he couldn’t stop himself now even if he wanted to.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I - god, I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea he was going to do that. No idea at all. That was literally the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. So please - put your hands together for my amazing husband, Louis Tomlinson!” There was an audible gasp at Harry’s revelation and even Louis' jaw dropped before, again, everyone cheered and screamed for the pair, Harry grabbing Louis in yet another kiss.

When it died down, he brought the microphone back to his lips, wanting to explain a bit further. “I’m sorry it’s taken a while to tell you all. Louis and I got married a couple of months ago. We had a small wedding, only our friends and family were invited, and we didn't even tell them until they arrived. We wanted to enjoy being married for a little while, to keep it our little secret. But I can’t keep quiet anymore. He’s my husband and I couldn’t be prouder to tell the world. I love you, Lou.”

“Love you too, Harry Tomlinson,” Louis mumbled near enough to the microphone that it picked up his voice, blasting his words around the arena to the delight of everyone gathered. They kissed again, and were surprised as Jacob suddenly ran on from the wings, Louis catching sight of Anne there, smiling at the two of them. Harry held his arms open and Jacob jumped into them, wrapping his little legs around Harry's waist, holding his son close between himself and Louis, their family hugging on stage in front of everyone.

“Love you Dad, love you Daddy,” Jacob mumbled, wanting to be part of this special moment. “Does this mean you can wear your rings now?” Harry’s eyes widened as he realised Jacob was right and set him down on the floor next to Louis. He reached up and unhooked his necklace, sliding his wedding band off and holding it out to Louis. He grinned and picked up Harry’s left hand, sliding the ring into place before pulling off his own from his right hand. Harry took it and slid it onto Louis’ finger, just as he had on their wedding day all those months ago.

They both turned to the crowd and held up their left hands, wedding rings glinting brightly under the harsh stage lights, and they could see the countless flashes from camera phones and cameras all around the arena, people determined to capture this moment.

“Thank you so much. Please give it up again for my wonderful husband and our son, Jacob!” Jacob waved excitedly to their families before kissing Harry again and leaving the stage with Louis, running into Anne’s arms again, high on the adrenaline of being allowed on stage with his parents. The rest of the show went off smoothly, Harry charming everyone as usual, and as he ran off for the final time, he burst into tears in Louis’ arms, sobbing on his shoulder.

“Just so happy,” he rasped out through his tears, Louis rhythmically stroking up and down his back while their family gathered backstage, waiting for the boys to follow them backstage. Harry got himself under control, and Emily came along, snapping countless photos of everyone, lots of group shots, and then a few tender shots of just Harry and his boys, before finally snapping a few of just the husbands, both happy and proud to finally have exposed their marriage to the world.

*****

They’d said goodbye to Jacob and their families at the arena, and were now checked in to a rather expensive hotel in the heart of the city. Harry had decided they needed a treat and had paid for the most expensive and spacious room the hotel had, and was now flopped down on the bed, still in his stage clothes, eyes shut as he relived every moment of tonight’s show.

“How did you rehearse that song?” Harry asked, curious to find out when exactly Louis had planned the Home performance. “I’m always around. I didn't hear a thing, I- I don’t get it, Lou.”

“When Niall dragged you away for meetings, or you had to take Jacob somewhere, or when Mitch took you to that guitar shop where he spent hours pondering which guitar to buy? They were all in on it, Haz. The band rehearsed without me when we were off with Jacob exploring, and then we managed a few rehearsals together. I was determined to make sure it was as good as it could be, didn't want to embarrass you.”

“Hey, there’s no way you could ever have embarrassed me. That was the best thing you could ever have done. I know you hate being on stage but you did that for me, so thank you. I love you, Louis, so very much. And I hope you’re okay with the whole outing us as married thing. I was just so proud, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Course I am, you think I don’t want the world to know I married you? It was you who wanted to keep it quiet, remember?” Harry nodded slightly as he sat up and shuffled back against the headboard, Louis quickly clambering onto his lap, straddling his thighs. They kissed gently for a few minutes, enjoying some time to themselves. They were booked into this room for a few days, but Harry knew he’d be taking Louis home tomorrow, even if Jacob was staying at Anne’s for the next few days before a couple of days at Jay’s. He couldn’t wait for a good week or so alone with his husband.

“Um, I got you something, to celebrate the end of the tour,” Louis confessed with red cheeks, carefully getting off Harry’s lap, not wanting to hurt him. He went over to their suitcases and unzipped his own, picking out a lavender gift bag from it. He sat back on the bed, on his knees between Harry’s parted thighs. “Erm… if you don’t like it, it’s fine. But I just wanted to get you something special. There’s two surprises, actually. One's in there. You'll get the other in a bit.”

“Wow, you didn't have to, babe,” Harry said, peering into the gift bag. Whatever it was was masked by some crumpled tissue paper. Slowly, he dipped his hand inside, feeling around for whatever Louis had got him. As his fingers brushed over something, he stilled, jaw dropping. “Oh my god,” he whispered out, locking eyes with Louis. “Lou, you didn't…”

He pulled the tissue paper out then, throwing it onto the floor as he delved in again, pulling out the present with one hand, eyes wide and staring down at it.

“Louis, oh my god…”

“You like?”

“I really, really like,” Harry said, blushing slightly at his confession. “Shall I…”

“Please do,” Louis said, unable to stop himself from leaning up and kissing Harry deeply. “What are you waiting for, baby?”


	34. Leather and Lace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry have fun with something new, they settle back into the routine of being back at home, and Harry enjoys helping his son get ready to head back to school.

Louis waited on the bed, stroking himself through the thin fabric of his boxers, not quite willing to actually touch himself just yet, knowing if he did, there was no way he would last long once Harry emerged from the bathroom. He felt a little nervous about it, but Harry’s reaction had been positive enough that Louis was sure he’d done the right thing. 

He’d slipped away when he, Jacob and Harry had been shopping in Milan a few weeks ago, telling Harry he’d wanted to grab some more condoms, which luckily, Harry had believed, taking Jacob off for some expensive gelato near a fountain while Louis grabbed his purchases. He’d hidden it away and had managed to keep Harry from seeing the gift until now. He’d planned to give it to him as an end of tour surprise, and now it was actually happening, Louis couldn’t quite believe it.

He heard the knob of the hotel bathroom door twist, and waited with bated breath for his husband to step out. It was nearly dark in the room, and Louis leaned across the bed, flicking on the other bedside lamp, bathing the room in a flattering soft, yellow glow. He was in only his boxers by now, clothes flung haphazardly on the floor, and he stared, waiting for Harry to step into the room. 

“Um, shall I come out now?” Harry asked, his voice a little nervous to Louis’ ears. Louis sat up, pressing his back to the cool wood of the bedhead and cleared his throat, wanting to come across as confident, trying to show Harry he had control of the situation, that it was all fine for him.

“Yeah baby, want to see you, please come out,” Louis said, eyes down on his own crossed legs. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. This was something he’d been thinking about for too long now, and now it was actually happening, the anticipation was whizzing through his veins. The low light from the bathroom lit up one side of the room, and Louis gasped as Harry stepped out, hands clasped in front of his tummy, bottom lip between his teeth as he coyly looked up, locking eyes with his husband. “Oh, Harry…”

“You like them?” Harry said, nervously rubbing the toes of one foot across the carpet, heart pounding at what he was doing. He could feel Louis’ eyes on him, raking over his body and despite the fact Louis had seen him naked countless times, had touched him everywhere, done things to him nobody else had, he had never felt quite as exposed and vulnerable as he did right now. He looked down at what he was wearing and felt a flutter of something in his belly at the fact he was actually doing this.

Louis’ gift had been the softest cream lace knickers Harry had ever seen. They felt amazing against his skin, and the feeling of slipping them up his thighs and onto his body was like nothing he had ever felt before. They fit perfectly, cupping his cheeks at the back and his hard cock nestled perfectly in the fabric at the front, straining slightly under the pressure of his erection, only growing harder the more Louis looked at him. Harry had always wondered what it would like to wear lingerie, and now he knew how good it felt, he knew this wouldn’t be the last time this happened.

Louis climbed down off the bed and held out his arms, wordlessly beckoning Harry closer to him. Harry slowly moved over, body close enough to Louis’ to feel his warm breath. Louis stood on tiptoes, leaning up to his neck and kissing across the line of his jaw, licking down the vein at the side of his neck, sucking gently for a few minutes, making Harry moan lowly in the back of his throat. He gently grazed his hands down the side of Harry’s torso, bringing them in to pinch his nipples gently, trying to make his husband crave being touched ever more. 

Harry’s breath hitched as Louis’ hands stilled then began to move again, travelling further south, squeezing at his hips, where the lace fabric was wrapped around him so delicately. Harry loved the slightly rough feel of it as Louis squeezed, still breathing hotly against him. It was one of the most erotic moments of Harry’s life, and he loved that he felt able to do this with Louis, that he was willing to explore this side of himself after so long. Louis gave this to him - the confidence to be who he was without shame, and he couldn’t love him more in that moment. He shuddered with the feeling, and couldn’t help leaning in to run his lips over Louis’.

“I love you, thank you Lou. This is, god, the best gift you’ve ever given me. It’s just… amazing. Do you- do you like them?”

Louis stared wide-eyed at his husband, slowly bringing his hands in, tucking one just inside the thin waistband of the knickers, running his fingers through the hair at the base of his cock, well groomed as usual. “I love them. You look so fucking beautiful, Harry.”

Harry smiled shyly, cheeks burning at being called beautiful. He was often called handsome, rugged, stylish, suave by countless newspaper and magazine articles, but there was nothing like being called beautiful by Louis. It made him feel loved and cherished, and, yes, beautiful. He whimpered as Louis’ hand travelled further south, small fingers wrapping loosely around the hard shaft of Harry’s cock, his thumb running over the head where beads of precome were already appearing, Louis mopping them up with the pads of his fingers. As soon as the touch appeared, it was gone again, and Harry stood, letting Louis look at him again. 

“On the bed, sweetheart. Want to show you how beautiful I think you are, how much I want you,” Louis rasped, reaching down to touch himself again as he watched Harry crawl onto the bed, lace-covered backside exposed to him. “Wait-” Harry stilled, looking at Louis over his shoulder, smirking when he realised what Louis was looking at. He wiggled his hips slightly, giggling with his cockiness, and eventually collapsed onto his back, letting his legs fall open, creating a space for his husband to sit. Louis quickly got onto the bed and instead of settling between Harry’s legs, he laid down next to him, pulling Harry until they were facing each other.

He slipped a knee up to Harry’s groin, letting his husband rut against his knee as he pulled him into a deep kiss, slipping his tongue between Harry’s parted lips, hands coming up to tangle in Harry’s curls. He loved how much they’d grown lately, now around his ears, the bottom curls nearly touching Harry’s shoulders. Secretly, Louis was hoping he would grow it out again, have it long as he used to when he was a teenager and first rose to fame, but he had kept those thoughts to himself, wanting Harry to do what was right for him, to have his hair how he wanted it.

“Are you gonna fuck me in my knickers?” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips, grinding his hard cock against his husband’s thigh now, feeling himself wet the fabric with his precome, too turned on to care. He was sure this wouldn’t be the last pair of knickers Louis would buy him, and the thought of the pair of them shopping for it together did things to him, his cock twitching at the thought of it. “I want that, Lou. Want you to make me all dirty in my lacy knickers, will you do that for me?” 

“Anything for you, baby,” Louis said, reluctantly breaking the kiss as he got to his knees next to Harry. He surprised his husband then by bending down, running the tip of his tongue across Harry’s erection, constrained by the lace. Harry groaned, grabbing a handful of Louis’ hair, not letting him pull up for a second. He shivered at the feel of Louis’ hot breath against him, and shut his eyes, focussing solely on that feeling for a moment. 

“God, Lou… please touch me,” he begged, and Louis quickly agreed, getting between Harry’s thighs again. He suddenly jumped off the bed, pulling his own boxers off before he sprinted over to his bag, grabbing a small bottle of lube from the side pocket before getting back on the bed, throwing the bottle down next to Harry and running his hands up Harry’s thighs. A thought about Harry having smooth, shaved thighs ran through his mind then, and he brushed the thought aside, thinking that was worth bringing up another time, he felt quite sure Harry would be up for experimenting with it.

Slowly, Louis pulled down the waistband of the knickers, enough to hook them under Harry’s cock, leaving them on his body, knowing the pair of them would rather them be on than off. Louis bent down and kissed his shaft again, taking the tip between his lips and sucking gently, relishing the taste of Harry, the weight of him against his tongue. He eagerly lapped at the head, shiny with precome and Harry moaned, fisting the hotel sheets between his fingers, trying to keep his hips still enough so Louis could continue sucking him off.

“Mmm, taste so good, baby,” Louis murmured as he popped off, licking his lips with his eyes locked on Harry’s, hands still splayed on his thighs. He brought one up, running it across the part of Harry’s ass he could reach, loving how the lace felt against his husband. He always knew Harry would be stunning in lingerie but the actual sight of it was so much. It complimented the pale tone of skin beautifully, and Louis couldn’t wait to see Harry in more, perhaps something black, or even a blue that matched Louis’ eyes.

He clumsily reached for the bottle of lube and opened Harry up with the skilled fingers of his right hand while he continued to work over Harry’s cock with his mouth, only stopping when he could sense his orgasm was approaching, gripping the base of his cock tightly enough to help stave his orgasm. He was trying desperately to ignore the throbbing of his own cock then, wanting to last as long as he could inside Harry. 

“Louis, please- fuck me, please fuck me,” Harry pleaded, tears in his eyes at how overwhelmed he felt. “Leave my knickers on…” Louis nodded and pulled his fingers out, wiping them down on Harry’s thigh with a smirk. He grabbed the lube and drizzled a little over his bare cock, moaning at the feel of something on his cock at last. He parted Harry’s legs even further, hooking a finger inside the leg of the knickers, pulling it to one side, enough to expose Harry’s lube wet hole to him. He grabbed his cock and rubbed the head of it around, making Harry whine. “Louis - inside, now…”

“Okay, okay, don’t be greedy,” Louis chastised, slowly pushing forward, sighing as the head of his cock breached Harry’s body, watching with hungry eyes as his cock disappeared inside Harry until he bottomed out. He held Harry’s knees and looked up at him. “I love you. Love being inside you baby… want me to be rough? Or want it nice and slow?”

“Both, need both Lou…” Harry replied, scrabbling a hand down to grab hold of Louis’ as he started to move inside him, the drag absolutely perfect for Harry. He shifted slightly, propping himself on his elbows as he looked down at Louis fucking him, the way the knickers were still wrapped around his body as he got fucked. It felt hard to believe just a few hours ago he was on stage in front of thousands, singing with Louis, and now they were here, doing this. “Good, feel so good Lou, so deep…”

Louis nodded and started to thrust a little harder, keeping Harry’s legs parted with his own body. He could see beads of sweat on Harry’s forehead, the redness of his cheeks from where he was so turned on, and he smiled to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have Harry in this way, exposed and bare for him, and only him. He kept his pace steady for a while, trying to make it last as long as possible, the feeling of moving inside Harry absolute bliss. He reached out and grabbed Harry’s left hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the wedding band he had slid onto that finger earlier that night in front of everyone.

“Love that everyone knows you’re mine now, that you’re married to me,” he grunted out, punching harder thrusts into Harry, making his body slide up the mattress with each movement. “All mine… no-one else gets you like this, only me. Mine, aren’t you babe?”

“Yeah, fuck- harder Lou - only yours, only wear this for you-” Harry whined again as Louis withdrew his cock nearly all the way before slamming back in roughly, repeating the action relentlessly, over and over until Harry was practically screaming his name. “Oh god, Louis! Make me come… I need to come- please-” Louis shifted his body again and pounded harder, the slap of his hips against Harry’s ass turning him on even more as he drove them both closer to orgasm. “Gonna come-”

Harry whined and threw an arms over his eyes as he started to come, coating his stomach and chest with his release, Louis watching with mesmerised eyes. Harry reached down and ran his finger through the puddle of liquid on his belly, bringing it to Louis’ lips and smearing it across them before pulling his husband down into a filthy kiss and that was enough to have Louis coming hard and fast into Harry’s body, filling him, getting his knickers all messy too. “Oh, Christ-” Louis panted out, slowing his hips.

He glanced down at Harry and how utterly debauched he looked, chest and stomach covered in come, knickers practically hanging off his hips, cheeks red and lips swollen from their kisses. He pulled out, wiping the head of his cock on the lace before reaching across and grabbing his phone. He sat up on his knees and opened the camera, cocking at eyebrow at Harry, wanting the okay before he took a picture. Harry blushed and nodded, looking directly into the lens as Louis snapped a series of photos, wanting to remember this moment. He put the phone down for a second as he pulled the knickers back up and over Harry’s cock before taking a few more pictures, blushing at how Harry looked on his screen like this. 

“You look amazing,” Louis said, flicking through the photos as he laid back next to Harry, sweaty and completely spent but more than happy. “Would you wear knickers for me again then? Thought we could maybe shop together for some, online or whatever if we can’t go out. But I think I’d like to see you in others, if you’re up for it?”

“Oh, I’m up for it,” Harry said, reaching down and lacing his fingers with Louis’. “I mean, I’ve thought about wearing this stuff before, but no-one’s given me the confidence to wear it, to feel this good. Thank you for that, for making me feel so good, so… beautiful.” Louis tilted his head to meet Harry’s kiss, and they melted into it for a moment. “I need a shower, you gonna come with me?”

“Yeah, alright,” Louis said, letting Harry haul him to his feet, smirking at the sight of his husband still in the knickers as they stumbled towards the bathroom. “You don’t want to take them off, do you?” Harry cheekily shook his head, reaching into the cubicle and turning the water on, steam quickly filling the small room.

“Come on, Lou, lemme wash your hair…”

*

Two days later, Harry picked up the tea towel from the kitchen side, laughing at the persistent ring of the doorbell, an obvious sign his son was finally home from his grandparents. Jacob was meant to be staying with Jay for the next few days but had phoned Louis in tears the night before, crying that he missed his parents and they’d of course let him come home early, Jay entirely understanding the boy’s reluctance to be parted from his dads after so long travelling together. 

He pulled the door open and staggered backwards as Jacob’s little body flew against his, little arms and legs wrapping around Harry’s body like a koala. Harry winced as he stumbled, a pain shooting in places that he couldn’t confess to anyone, although the reminder of what Louis had done to him over the past few days while they’d been alone was a welcome one.

“Hey Jake! Missed you so much,” Harry said, stepping into the living room, Anne and Robin following him, making themselves at home. Jacob refused to let Harry put him down, so he settled on the sofa, the boy in his lap, head on his chest. Harry stroked up his little back, letting Jacob take the affection he clearly needed and smiled at his parents. “You been a good boy?”

“He’s always a good boy,” Anne cut in, grinning at her son and grandson. “We had fun, didn't we, Jake? Took Grandad Robin bowling yesterday, and then we had a nice picnic in the garden. Jacob and I made all the sandwiches-“

“And delicious they were too!” Robin said, laying his arm around Anne’s shoulders. “We’d better get going love, we have those things to collect from the shop and get home.” Anne nodded and opened her arms, Jacob finally scrambling up from Harry’s lap to kiss her and Robin goodbye. The family stood at the door, waving as Anne and Robin drove away. 

“Okay, go and put your clothes in the linen bin, and put your bag away. I thought we could go shopping for your school uniform in a while?” He frowned as Jacob nodded and skulked back to his room, a little bit quiet for Harry’s liking. He caught Louis’ eye and nodded silently, telling him he’d follow Jacob and find out what was going on. “Hey, what’s up, love?”

He sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as Jacob sat at his desk, staring at the notepad he’d just pulled from his desk drawer. Jacob just shrugged and Harry pulled the edge of the chair, dragging it across the carpet so his son had to look at him and talk. Jacob sighed and mumbled something, Harry encouraging him to repeat it louder so he could hear.

“I’m scared of being a Year 3,” he admitted, a sad look on his face. “Everyone at school says its hard and the work is hard. I find my spellings really hard and I don’t want to fail and make you and Daddy not proud of me anymore.”

“Oh love, the only way we’d ever not be proud is if you did really bad things at school, and you don’t! There’s nothing wrong with finding spelling tricky, nothing at all. We can go in and see your teachers and get some extra help, I can sort out someone to come round here and help as well if that’s what you need. Please don’t ever think I’d be anything less than proud of you, love. Come here and give us a cuddle.” Jacob leapt off the chair and into Harry’s arms, finally squirming away after a few seconds. 

“Can we go and buy my uniform then?” The sadness was finally replaced with an excited glint in the boy’s eyes, and Harry couldn’t refuse him. They held hands and went downstairs, Jacob looking sad when he saw Louis sat at the table, work spread around in front of him. “Oh, do we have to wait?”

“Wait for what?” Louis asked, turning around to smile at his boys, glasses propped on the end of his nose. Harry’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of his husband in his glasses. Louis often refused to wear them, saying it made him look like a fuddy duddy but Harry encouraged it as much as possible, thinking it made him more handsome if that was possible.

“Oh, I just said we might think about taking Jake down to the uniform shop to sort out his things next week, it’ll be here before you know it,” Harry said knowingly, making Louis laugh. “But you’re busy, we’ll go another time-”

He was cut off then by Louis who was shaking his head. “Nah, I’ve got this stuff to do but you can go, if you’re okay with that? The list on the fridge, I’m sure you two can manage to get everything on it?” Jacob ran off and grabbed the list from under a magnet, coming back and wafting it under Harry’s nose.

“Um, are you sure?”

“Love, you’re his father. You’re my husband. You love all this domestic sh-stuff.” Harry smirked at Louis catching himself before he cursed. “Go on, off you go. If you’re not sure on something, just give me a ring or a text or whatever. Love you!” Louis turned back to his work, giving Harry no choice but to follow behind his son who was skipping down the hallway to the front door now. Harry was clutching the list tightly in his hand as he grabbed his phone and wallet from the side, opening the front door so Jacob could run over to the car and get himself in. Harry followed, and turned to face his son.

“Let’s go get you kitted out for year three, kiddo!”

*

“Can I help you, sir-oh.” The lady fish-mouthed a little as she recognised Harry but quickly changed her expression, trying to remain professional. Harry appreciated the gesture and looked down at his son, whose hand was in his own now. “Can I help you both?”

“Yes, please, I’m a bit clueless,” Harry laughed, breaking the ice with a bit of light-hearted banter. “Um, my husband gave me a list of things I need to get for our son, it’s for Parklands School?” Harry handed over the list and the assistant ran her eyes down it, nodding. “We need everything on here, please.”

“Sure, follow me please. I’m Katy by the way.”

“Harry, and this is my son Jacob.” Jacob waved and watched as the lady grabbed a few things, running her eyes over Jacob, mentally calculating his size. “This is my first time uniform shopping, and I have to get it right, Lou, that’s my husband, he won’t let me forget it if I make a mistake.”

Katy smiled at that, handing Harry a pile of folded clothes. “Don’t worry, we’ll get it right and impress your husband. Now, little man, can you try on a few things for me?” Jacob nodded and Harry helped him into the changing room, laying out the t-shirt, trousers and jumper his son needed to put out and stepped outside, pulling the curtain behind him. Jacob was getting more independent as the weeks went by, and it made Harry’s heart pang at how mature he was getting already, and he was only seven and a half.

“Um, I came to your Manchester show,” Katy said quietly, her cheeks a little pink at the admission. “It was amazing. The song you sang with your husband, it was so beautiful. I’ve got it on my iPhone and I listen to it all the time.”

“Well, thank you for coming,” Harry said with a smile, resting a hand on her shoulder gently. “I can’t believe the tour is over already, it went so fast. Hopefully I’ll be able to go back out again sometimes, around the family of course. They have to come first for me now.” Katy nodded, understanding where Harry was coming from. They both glanced back at the cubicle as Jacob whipped the curtain back, standing barefoot and proud in his new uniform.

Harry snapped a quick photo, sending it off to Louis before he beckoned his son over, smoothing out the shoulders, and checking the waistband of the trousers seemed like they fitted. “Wow, such a smart, grown up boy I’ve got,” Harry said, feeling a little emotional. “Does everything feel comfy? Nothing’s too small, you can say, love.”

“No, it’s great Dad, I like the purple jumper, reminds me of your suit from Bolly-Bolony - oh, Italy.” Harry laughed, nodding when he finally understood what Jacob meant.

“Bologna.”

“That’s it! The one that sounds like spaghetti bolognese!” Both Katy and Harry laughed at that, and Jacob headed back in, taking the PE kit that Katy handed him to try on. His phone buzzed and he tapped out a few quick replies to Louis, already missing his husband despite the fact they’d only been apart around an hour now. He grinned to himself at how co-dependent he was getting on Louis now, but secretly, he loved it. Jacob came out again, little knobbly knees sticking out from underneath the royal blue PE shorts, a white school logo t-shirt on top.

“I like this! I feel like I could do PE all day in it!” Jacob struck a few poses for Harry’s phone, and soon dived back in, flinging items over the curtains that Harry caught, quickly apologising to Katy for his wayward son, who laughed it off.

“He’s a lovely boy, you should be very proud of him,” Katy said, folding the items into a pile. Harry glanced down, and they had a quick discussion about how many shirts, jumpers and pairs of trousers Harry had to buy before Katy bustled off, grabbing the items and leaving them at the desk for the pair. Jacob came out, and Harry helped adjust his top, tying his laces since Jacob had just learnt and was a little slow at them. 

“Okay, that’ll be eighty five pounds and fifty pence please.” Harry smiled and handed over his credit card, signing the slip of paper and picking up the bag from Katy along with his receipt. “Really love to meet you both, and Jacob, good luck with year three, I bet you’ll be great.” She held up her hand for a high-five and Jacob slapped it loudly.

“Thanks, Mrs Shop Lady for your help!” he called, skipping to the door, staring at Harry as if willing him to hurry up. “Come on Dad, I want new shoes too, Daddy always takes me to Clarks!”

“Oh god, shoe shopping calls,” Harry joked, shaking Katy’s hand. “Thanks for all your help, you’ve saved me a telling off from my husband later!” He waved and held Jacob’s hand as they walked down the street, heading in the direction of the shoe shop. As they walked in, Harry frowned at how busy it was but Jacob knew the drill. He took a ticket and waited patiently, running off every now and then to find a style of shoe he liked.

When it was their turn to be served, Jacob was excited he got to use the special measuring machine and was pleased to finally be a size one, telling Harry ‘I told you my feet had growed, my shoes are too small now!”. They’d settled on a sensible but cool dinosaur pair with velcro straps, and Harry paid for them once more, Jacob happily carrying the bag at his side as they walked back to the car, chattering away as they did so.

“Thank you for buying my uniform, Dad,” Jacob said, looking up at Harry. “Last year, Nanny Jay came with us and buyed me my school shoes because they were so much money and Daddy didn't have enough for that and all my other things.” Harry frowned, wishing Louis had felt able to ask him for help, even if they were only just together at that point. 

“Don’t thank me, love, I’m your Dad. Whatever you need, I’m here for it, yeah? Daddy never has to worry about having enough pennies ever, ever again, I promise.” A few thoughts settled in Harry’s mind then, and he vowed to bring them up with Louis when he got home. He set the bags into the car and began the drive home, grinning when they arrived and Jacob eagerly darted it, dragging the bags behind him down the corridor.

“Can I show Daddy? Please?!” Harry smiled and nodded, carrying the bags upstairs before returning to Louis on the sofa, cuddling up to his husband.

“Hey love,” Harry said, leaning in to kiss Louis as they waited for Jacob. “So, Jake told me something when we were out, something that upset me a little bit.” Louis looked at Harry, waiting for him to continue. “Um, he said last year, when you got all the back to school stuff, you had to borrow money off Jay to buy his shoes. Why didn't you ask me to help?” He stroked a hand up the back of Louis’ hair as he buried his face in Harry’s neck, clearly embarrassed.

“We’d only been together a few weeks Haz, Jacob wasn’t your responsibility back then. Plus, I didn't want you to think I was only with you for your money. That was the last thing I wanted.”

“So it really was all about the sex, then?” Harry asked, deadpan expression on his face.

“Totally. I’m only here for you and your magic cock-” Louis cut off as Jacob thundered like a fairy elephant down the stairs, skidding to a halt in front of his dads. “Wow! Look at you. You and Dad did a great job, everything fits perfectly.” Louis twirled his finger and Jacob complied, doing a twirl in front of him. “Someone looks really ready for Year three now.” Jacob nodded and hugged both of them.

“Yeah, I’m a really big Junior now! I’m gonna go and put this in my drawers so it’s all clean for next week!” He blew kisses as he ran out of the room, both Louis and Harry grinning after him.

“Seriously, Lou. Back to the money thing. You know you never have to worry now, right? Everything I have is yours. You never have to ask, or worry again. Actually….”

“Oh god, what?” Louis asked, sort of dreading the answer. “What are you planning, Harold Tomlinson?”

“Well. I think now we’re married, we need to get a joint bank account. I want all of my money to be yours too. I don’t have anything to hide from you, Lou, and I want you and Jacob to have everything that you need, and to never worry again. Please let me do this for us?”

“Wow, Harry, I don’t- I don’t know what to say,” Louis stuttered, a little shocked by Harry’s words. “I mean, as long as you’re okay with that, I don’t have a lot to contribute to it?”

“Oh come on Lou, you think that bothers me? I just want to look after you both and take care of you. You’re my boys, and I love you both so much. It really bothered me when Jake told me that earlier, and I never want you to feel like that again. I love you so much, sweetheart. I’m not sure you get just how much.”

“I might have an idea,” Louis smiled back, leaning in to kiss his husband, trying to keep it chaste as they were both aware Jacob could burst in at any moment. “Love you lots too, you know. And yes, of course it’s okay with me, as long as it’s okay with you. We can make an appointment at the bank this week, before I have to go back to work?”

“Yeah, works for me,” Harry said, feeling relieved Louis wasn’t about to fight him on this, not that he’d win anyway. “Do I get bonus husband points for getting all the right uniform  _ and _ the school shoes sorted?”

“Always do,” Louis said, kissing him again. “But I’m gonna save your reward for later on, when Jake’s sound asleep…” He winked at Harry, laughing as the loud groan of his husband filled the room, hugging him tightly once more. Life really didn't get much better than this, he thought to himself.


	35. Proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry helps Jacob go to back to school, and their son makes them so proud. Harry goes shopping, and makes an admission to Louis. Finally, Louis and Harry get some amazing news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artistic license has been used in regards to the timing of things in the latter part of the chapter.  
> Credit for the manip used goes to the creator.

“Lou, I’ve put your packed lunch in your bag, and Jacob, yours is on the side, sweetheart,” Harry called from the kitchen where he was now buttering several pieces of toast for his boys. He’d woken up early that morning, Jacob’s first day of Year Three and Louis’ second day of work. He had spent a few minutes while his boys got dressed making their lunchboxes, a task that helped him feel like he was more than a little involved in their day, and was now making them breakfast.

“Thanks, love,” Louis said, sweeping into the kitchen and snatching a piece of toast from the bread board, Harry just rolling his eyes at his husband’s actions. They grinned at each other as Louis sat down in front of his cup of tea Harry had also made, and waited for Jacob to join them. He looked smart when he entered, everything neatly ironed (thanks to Harry, of course), and was wearing his shiny new school shoes on his feet. Harry was a bit taken aback with how his son looked, well aware he wasn’t the little boy he’d fallen in love with eighteen months ago now, and he felt a little sad at the realisation.

“I did you one piece of jammy toast, one with chocolate spread,” Harry said, passing Jacob his plate and glass of apple juice. Jacob smiled gratefully and sat down next to Harry, gobbling the food down as if he hadn’t eaten for a week. “You both excited to get back to things? Be nice to meet your new class, hey Lou?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit nervous cos I’ve never done Year 6 before, but I think it’s going to be fun,” Louis admitted with a smile. He’d spent the past few nights once Jacob had gone to bed with printouts of the National Curriculum, swotting up and making sure he knew exactly what he’d be doing in the classroom. Harry was very proud of him, and had shown a real interest in what Louis was doing, asking lots of questions and listening intently as Louis explained the SATs, secondary school preparation and more to his husband.

“Well, you’re more than prepared, babe. You’d make an amazing teacher, you know that?” Harry didn't miss how Louis blushed at that remark, sipping quietly on his tea as he swallowed down the last of his toast, and he gave him a funny look that Louis seemed to ignore. “Lou?”

“I’m fine,” Louis said with a small smile, and stood up, placing his plate and cup in the sink, laying a kiss to Harry’s head as he walked by. “We still going to look at that car later on?” Harry nodded his head and Louis smiled, watching as his husband wiped his son’s jammy mouth with a cloth and put their breakfast things into the dishwasher while Jacob darted up the stairs to brush his teeth. “Are you sure about it still, us getting another car?”

“Lou, you need your own. If I have to go away for work or whatever, I don’t want you in your old car. You two mean the most to me in the whole world and I want you safe. That means buying you a car that’s going to protect if something should happen, okay? And anyway. It’s our money I’m using, not mine, so you get just as much say as I do.”

“Can it be purple please?” Jacob called from the top of the stairs, making his dads laugh. “It’s my favourite colour and we’d always know which car was ours in Tesco car park. Daddy always forgets where he parks the car…”

“Oi, I do not,” Louis said, ignoring the knowing smirks of both Harry and Jacob at his denial. “Anyway, I’m not sure Audi do a lot of purple cars, love. I was thinking maybe black like Dad’s, or even blue perhaps. We’ll see when we get there, yeah?” Despite his weak protestations, Louis was actually looking forward to finally buying a new car. He’d had his own since Jacob was two, and it was getting old now, more and more needing doing it to get it through the MOT every year. Harry had been insistent on them getting something safer, and he’d realised his husband was right, and they had the money now, which made Louis shiver. He still couldn’t quite get his head around the fact they now had a joint bank account that would be up and running within a few days.

“Right, come on, or you’re gonna be late,” Harry chastised, scooping up Louis’ bag and Jacob’s book bag and PE kit and heading out for the car, determined to get his boys organised. He watched from the driver’s seat as Jacob skipped out, sitting proudly on his new ‘big boy’ booster seat and buckling himself in as Louis slid in next to Harry, pecking his lips before they set off. “Everyone excited?”

“Yeah, me, I am!” Jacob called, clapping his hands. “Plus now I’m in the juniors, I might get to see Daddy at school more which is always cool!” They chatted for the rest of the journey, talking more about cars thanks to Jacob, and within ten minutes, were pulling up at Louis and Jacob’s school.

“I’m going in, but you two can sit in the car for a bit, we’re a bit early,” Louis said, heading for the back door and opening it to kiss his son. “Have a good day, sweetheart. Enjoy every minute and we’ll have a good chat about it later, yeah?” Jacob nodded and flung his arms around Louis’ neck, squeezing tightly. Louis backed away and jumped as he saw Harry stood behind him, and hurried into his body, letting his husband hug him. “Love you babe, thanks for doing this today.”

“How many times, Louis? Don’t thank me for bringing my son and husband to school. You know I love to do all this stuff when I can. I’ll be finished in my meeting by the time school finishes, so I’ll grab Jake, and be back for you later?”

“I’ll get Zayn to drop me home,” Louis said, and Harry nodded, secretly pleased as that meant he’d be able to get on with dinner for his family while Jacob caught up on some reading or homework. “Bye, boys! Love you both.” Louis waved as he walked off towards the building, staff lanyard hanging from his neck and the bag Louis and Jacob had bought last year dangling from his shoulder. Harry’s favourite addition to the whole outfit, though, was Louis’ platinum wedding band around his left ring finger. Harry smiled to himself and turned back to Jacob.

They both sat and listened to the radio for a while until Jacob saw some of his friends heading in and begged Harry to take him in. they held hands as Harry walked him in beyond the gates, the little boy becoming quieter as they neared his new classroom. They had a teacher who was new to the school, and Harry knew this was the source of Jacob’s main anxiety. As they waited outside, he crouched down in front on Jacob, taking his hand.

“Hey, you’re gonna be fine. He looks really nice, I bet you’re going to have a great day.”

“Will you come in with me, please Dad?” Jacob begged with shining blue eyes, and Harry knew he was powerless to resist from then. He nodded and let Jacob slip his little hand into his again as they walked through the door, Jacob’s eyes raking around the classroom that would be his for the next year. He looked up wide-eyed as his new teacher came over, smiling at him and Harry.

“Hi, I’m Mr Fox, I’m your new teacher. What’s your name?” Harry nudged Jacob’s arm gently, coaxing his son into speaking.

“I’m Jacob Tomlinson,” the little boy said quietly, gaze on the floor again. “I’m a bit nervous.”

“Well, it’s going to be fun today. We’re going to create a piece of class art for the wall, choose some form captains and play some getting to know you games, how does that sound Jacob?” He looked at Harry and smiled as they awaited Jacob’s answer.

“Yeah, sounds good,” he said, finally looking up at his teacher. He grabbed his bags from Harry and went to put them away, promising to come and kiss him goodbye.

“Hi, Gareth Fox, I’m the Year Three teacher, you must be Jacob’s dad.”

“Yeah, one of them,” Harry said with a grin, liking how the man didn't flinch at that comment. It seemed he didn't recognise Harry either. “Harry Tomlinson. My husband Louis is one of the TAs here, he’s in Year 6 this year.” Harry grinned at finally getting to use his married name in  public, and reached out, shaking the teacher’s hand.

“Ah, yes! Louis’ great, we had a nice chat yesterday on the staff day, seems you all had a fun summer in Europe. Perhaps Jacob would like to share some photos with the class soon, show us some of the places he went to and the things you all got up to?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Lou and I will sort out some photos for him to bring in. Hey, love, now you have a good day, okay, and I’ll be back to pick you up after school. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Love you Daddy,” Jacob said, slipping into the pet name he used for Harry only when he was very unsure or upset, and Harry hugged him tightly before realising he should just go and let Jacob get on with it, knowing he’d settle when he left. “Bye!”

“Bye bub, love you,” Harry said with a grin, stopping as he left to hold open the classroom door for a mum with a pushchair, baby sleeping quietly inside. He grinned down at them for a second before heading off, waving at a few familiar parents before getting into his car and heading to his meeting.

*****

Harry sighed as he looked at the time on his phone, sighing when he realised his management team were running fifteen minutes late. He sat texting his mum for a few minutes, inviting her and Robin round for dinner one evening before finally Leah came out and called Harry through. He felt a bit nervous, as usually being called in meant something was wrong.

He shook hands with the people around the table before he sat down, clasped hands on the polished wooden surface around him. He glanced around, taking in the array of platinum and gold discs from himself and other artists tied to the team hanging in black frames, trying to tune back in to the conversation. Their faces didn't look too serious so Harry tried to relax a bit.

“Harry, I hear the tour was a massive success, well done you,” Leah began, smiling at Harry who nodded. “The revenue has been excellent, the merch sold well and your Twitter account has really expanded thanks to the photos you’ve been sharing. It seems people have been clamouring to see more photos of you and Louis, especially now you dropped the bombshell on all your fans.”

Harry smiled coyly and swallowed, realising this would have come sooner rather than later. “Yeah, um, it just happened. I didn't plan on telling everyone Lou and I are married like this, but it felt right, especially when he came out and sang with me. Seems you didn't have anything to worry about, anyway. The fans have been amazing, we’ve had so many lovely tweets and messages from everyone congratulating us.” Harry’s thoughts drifted to the nights after the concert when he and Louis were laid in bed together, naked and scrolling through their Twitter accounts, getting emotional over the barrage of tweets they were both receiving, reading aloud the best ones.

“We understand Harry, and we always said it was your news to tell. Of course, lots of magazine and websites have been in contact trying to get an interview with the two of you, so we’ll need to discuss some of those offers soon. I know you and Louis probably don’t want to but if you do only one, it’ll get the press of your backs for a while, anyway. We can negotiate, make sure we get a really good journo, and ensure we have the story before it goes anywhere else.” Harry sighed and nodded, hating this side of the business. He resented having to open up his personal life but in the long run, it would definitely benefit himself, Louis and Jacob if he put their story out there.

“Okay, well, we can talk about that when you find an offer you think is worth taking,” Harry said, and the team nodded. Leah sat back down and another man, Darren, stood up, adjusting his smart shirt, sticking to his body a bit due to the humidity of the room. Harry smiled at him, seeing the new face looked a little nervous.

“Okay, well there are two things we need to discuss today,” Darren began, voice a little shaky. “Sorry, I’m new to this, bear with me…” He glanced down at his paperwork, and Harry took pity on him.

“Hey, take your time, don’t worry about it,” Harry said kindly, and Darren smiled gratefully, clearing his throat before speaking again.

“Okay, so. First of all, we’ve been asked by Comic Relief for you to do the charity single this year. I, I mean, _we_ were really hoping you would be up for that, perhaps writing a song rather than a cover-”

“Yes, without a doubt,” Harry hurried to say. “I would be honoured to do that. I’d like to write a song for it, perhaps with my husband.” Darren nodded and turned back to his paperwork, jotting a few things down. Harry watched with amusement, reaching for the cold glass of water in front of him. His phone buzzed then, and he glanced at it on the desk, smiling when he saw it was Louis.

“Right, second thing. We’ve had a call from a TV talent show asking you to be a celebrity judge for it. It’s a singer-songwriter thing, and it seems like a great show, encouraging of young talent.”

“I’ve said before-”

“I know, you don’t want to judge people, and that’s fine. I’ve negotiated with the team, Harry, and they’d be thrilled to have you on board as a guest mentor. You’d still be on every week, filming a few days in London but you wouldn’t be judging or eliminating anyone. Your role would be to help them, work out where they can make their lyrics and melodies better. They’re happy to do whatever it takes to get you on board, Harry.”

Harry was a little stunned at this. He had a great team, of course he did, but it was good to know they were fully behind him in not wanting to be a judge on television, but this role sounded like the sort of thing he loved. The idea of mentoring young people appealed greatly to him, and while he didn't necessarily like the thought of having to travel to London more often, he was sure he and Louis would be able to sort something out that kept them both happy.

“Well, I’d like to talk to my husband about it before I say yes, as this will affect our family somewhat, but I’m very interested,” Harry answered honestly, Darren visibly sighing with relief. “I really appreciate you being upfront with them and sorting out a role you know would be much more suited to me.” He grinned at Darren then, and his team looked happy enough with his answer. “And back to the Comic Relief thing… I assume I’ll be performing it on the live show that night?”

Leah nodded, being the one in charge of this particular venture. “Yes, they’re happy for you to head to the studios with Louis and Jacob, and they were thinking about you doing a peace for one of the charities they support too, perhaps with Louis if he would be up for that?” Harry contemplated it for a moment. The thought of putting Louis in front of the world made him a little nervous, but at the same time, he knew it was Louis’ decision and not his own. “We know you’ll want to talk to him about this, but it could be a great way to introduce him into the public eye, let them see you as a couple doing something a bit serious?”

“I think it might work, but I do need to talk to him about it. If he isn’t happy, we won’t do it but either way, I will definitely be involved.” Harry was always keen to promote charities and the great work they did, and felt thrilled to be asked to be part of something as iconic as Comic Relief. He used to watch the telethon shows with his Mum when he was younger, so to think he might now be performing on it as as the official song artist was amazing to him. They finished up a few more bits of business before Harry left, thanking everyone and shaking their hands as he always did.

He decided to head into town, pulling a baseball cap onto his head to hide his curls, allowing him to go unnoticed a little bit. He grabbed a few bits from town that he needed, deodorant and some new razors for Louis, and a magazine for Jacob before he hovered outside the Agent Provocateur store, bravely deciding to slip in after a few minutes. He kept his head down and headed for the back corner, where he could see a variety of underwear that had piqued his attention.

He kept his gaze on the floor as he felt the shop assistants bustle around, sorting out displays, praying no-one would approach him. Luckily, they must have had a sixth sense for these things as no-one spoke to him. Harry took his time looking at the different styles, fabrics and colours before picking several. He chose a light blue pair very similar to the one Louis had chose him that they’d all but wrecked the other week, a pale pink pair which seemed much higher cut for his ass cheeks, and finally, with flaming cheeks, picked a lacy black thong, thinking Louis might like him in something different.

“Um, just these, thanks,” he said, sliding the items across the counter. The assistant didn't bat an eyelid as she wrapped them up in soft tissue paper, sliding them into a paper bag as Harry paid with his credit card. He took the bag, feeling a little naughty at having bought underwear to put on for his husband, and he hoped Louis had liked his choices. He enjoyed the fact they were spicing up their sex life lately, and he was aware Louis had been pushing for him to admit something lately, and Harry felt himself get closer to confessing.

After he left, he mooched around the shops for a little while, grabbing a sandwich from Costa along with a coffee instead of heading home for lunch. There wasn’t long until he had to pick Jacob up from school, so he headed back to the car, putting his purchases in the boot, not wanting his nosy son to find the underwear and ask more questions. God, _no_. He drove and parked up in a side road near the school, frowning when his phone insistently buzzed in its holder.

 

He grinned at the banter between himself and Louis, a bit annoyed that as usual the paps or a fan had spoilt his surprise, but the thought of Louis working himself up over Harry buying underwear for them to enjoy was too good to care about it being ruined. The next half an hour whizzed by as Harry ate his sandwich in the car, browsing Twitter and answering a few fans tweets as he waited for the clock to turn an acceptable time to go and get his son.

He meandered his way into the playground and stood chatting to a couple of the mums, accepting some friendly congratulations for his wedding to Louis, proudly showing off a couple of photos to them. The classroom door opened soon enough and children flooded out, running into their parents waiting arms, happy smiles on faces. Harry waited patiently, a little concerned when Jacob didn't initially show. He was about to walk over when suddenly Jacob bolted out, throwing himself into Harry’s arms.

“Guess what Dad?” he practically shouted, the biggest smile on his face. “I got picked! I’m the boy form captain for Year Three for this year! They picked me!” He wriggled down from Harry’s hug and stretched out his new jumper, proudly showing off the blue ‘Form Captain’ badge pinned to it. Harry’s jaw dropped, filled with such pride. “I did it, Dad.”

“Oh my god, you clever boy!” Harry cried, spinning his son around, not caring who was watching them. “Form Captain! Wow, I am so proud of you! Did you have to make a speech or something? Does Daddy know?” Jacob nodded eagerly.

“He was in the assembly when we got our badges. Can you send a picture to Nanny Jay and Nanny Anne? I want them to see!” Harry nodded and snapped a photo, grinning at Jacob’s proud smile as he showed off his badge. He picked up his bags which had been thrown to the floor in the excitement, and they walked back to the car together, Jacob telling Harry quite loudly about his speech, and how surprised he felt to have been picked.

Harry stopped at the local ice-cream shop as a treat for Jacob, and they shared a big strawberry sundae between them, sending Louis a couple of pictures so he didn't feel too left out. Once they arrived back home, Jacob read a chapter of his new free reader book to Harry, who happily signed his reading record, and sighed when he looked at Jacob’s spellings, knowing they were far too hard for the boy. He pinned them to the fridge with a magnet, hoping that would remind him to ask Louis about them later. He didn't want Jacob getting upset about his schoolwork again, and would do whatever it took to make his son happy and content at school.

Louis arrived home a few hours later and they shared a dinner of homemade chicken nuggets that Harry and Jacob had made, with some homemade wedges and the classic accompaniment for such a meal, spaghetti hoops. Louis laughed at this addition but they all cleared their plates, Louis helping Jacob into the shower as he listened to his son talk about his form captaincy again. Before he’d fallen asleep, he’d called both of his nannies too, talking to them until Louis forced him off the phone. Harry came up and read another chapter of their bedtime story, _The Twits_ by Roald Dahl, and Louis thought their joint laughter as they read was the most beautiful sound in the world.

Bedtime arrived a few hours later, and Harry talked quietly next to Louis as they pulled their clothes off, Louis detailing his day to Harry before they settled on the mattress next to each other, holding hands.

“So, I had an interesting meeting today….” Harry started but Louis cut him off with a smirk.

“An interesting shopping trip, too,” he joked, making Harry blush. “Sorry, you go, babe. I’m not forgetting those tweets though..”

“Didn't expect you to,” Harry bit back with a laugh, rolling onto his side, facing his husband. “At the meeting, they had two things to put to me. First of all, they want me to do the charity single for Comic Relief in a few months.” He grinned at Louis’ proud expression, and ploughed on. “I wondered if maybe we could write something together for it… which brings me to my next point. Um, they wondered if you’d come with me to one of the charities the event supports, they’d film us and stuff, then air it on the night.”

“Oh, um…. Wow. I didn't expect that, love. What do you think?”

“Not up to me,” Harry said quickly, not wanting to influence Louis in any way. “It’s totally up to you and I don’t mind either way. It really is your choice, love.”

“Okay, can I think about it?” Harry nodded and Louis squeezed his hand in reply, leaning forward to peck his lips. “What was the second thing?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve been asked to be a sort of mentor on a new singer-songwriter talent show. I’ve always refused to do judging, not my cup of tea, but mentoring might be fun. Only thing is it’s in London which would mean me staying overnight down there once a week while we film…”

“I think we can cope one night apart a week,” Louis said, already sensing how much his husband wanted this just from the way he was talking about it. “If you want to do it, don’t let me and Jake hold you back. We’ll always support you in whatever you do, you know that.”

“You don’t hold me back - Lou, is that what you think? No way. You guys are my family, you come above everything and I’ve said it before Lou, if I had to give all this up for you two, I would, in a heartbeat. Come here.” He pulled Louis closer, hooking a leg up, resting it on Louis’ hip as they kissed softly for a minute. “You only hold me back when I want you to…” he said with a smirk, and Louis giggled at that, biting his lip.

“Gonna show me what you bought earlier then?” he asked in a husky voice, and Harry nodded, getting up to retrieve the bag from where he’d stashed it at the top of his wardrobe, having learnt his lesson with Jacob the hard way. He slid back onto the bed, cross legged opposite Louis who was sat up now and they turned their lights on, smiling softly at each other. Harry pushed the bag towards Louis who just looked at him, waiting for the okay to look inside.

“Go on, you can look,” Harry said, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He bit his lip as he watched Louis’ hand slide inside, pulling out the folded pieces of tissue paper and laying them down between them. The assistant had wrapped each piece of underwear separately and Louis picked up the first one, untucking the folds, eyes flicking up to Harry’s every now and then.

The first pair was the blue pair and Louis picked them up, feeling them material between his fingers, eyes dark as he tried to imagine how his husband would look in them. Wordlessly, he put them down and picked up the next parcel, unfolding that too. It was the pale pink ones, and Harry watched as his breath hitched, swallowing heavily.

“Wow… god, I can’t wait to see you in these,” Louis said in a low voice, draping them over Harry’s bare leg, slowly reaching for the last. “Have I saved the best for last?” Harry shrugged, thinking quietly to himself that he probably had. As the thong fell out, Louis literally gasped and his eyes flew to Harry’s. “You fucking didn't.”

“I fucking did,” Harry said with a filthy smirk, watching as Louis ran the black lace through his hands, biting his lip roughly, trying to keep himself under control. “You like them, then?”

“Love them,” Louis whispered, laying the black item over Harry’s other leg, admiring the sight of them on Harry’s skin, how well they contrasted with his pale legs. “God. You’re gonna look so good for me baby.” Harry nodded shyly, and helped Louis wrap them up, both already excited at the thought of using them sometime soon. He put the bag back out of reach and sidled into bed, next to Louis. “Harry?”

“Yes, Lou?”

“You’ve never told me, you know.” Harry sighed, knowing exactly what Louis was talking about. He was well aware he hadn’t said anything, and was actually a bit scared of confessing it. That fear was wearing away slowly the more he and Louis did together, sure his husband wouldn’t judge him, but still, it was such an intensely private thing. “You can trust me, love. Whatever it is, I won’t judge you. I promise there’s nothing you can that would freak me out.”

“Alright,” Harry said, and Louis scrambled to sit up, shocked by Harry agreeing after so long putting it off. “But Lou, this is just a fantasy, right? Doesn’t mean we have to do it, or anything-”

“Harry, just tell me. Chances are I’ll want to do it with you. Please, trust me baby.”

“I do.” Harry took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, smiling slightly as Louis took his hand. He sat up himself and looked Louis straight in the eye.

“I want you to ruin me, Lou.”

Louis just stared,hoping Harry would carry on and tell him exactly what it was he wanted. When he didn't,  he spoke softly, trying to prompt Harry.

“What do you mean exactly? Ruin you how?”

“In bed. I want you to use me, to take what you need from me, for as long as you want. I want you to suck love bites into my thighs so it hurts when I walk, when they rub together. I want you to pull my hair hard as you fuck me from behind, hard.” He blushed and looked down as he said the next few words. “I want you to tie me up and make me take it, Louis. I want to be wrecked and used, only by you.”

“Fuck.”

“Erm… is it…”

“No, _no_. Um, I can do that…” Louis said, voice still low with desire, unable to believe what it was his sweet and innocent Harry was asking for. There was no way that a year ago he’d have expected Harry to admit something like that to him but now he had, wow. Louis knew he had to make it happen, and soon. “Wow. Um, yeah. Wow.”

Harry just shrugged again, clearly a little embarrassed. “Good wow?” Louis nodded, and Harry felt his heart rate to slow, pleased with Louis’ answer. “Okay, well now you know.”

“Now I know.” Louis repeated softly, mind racing. He laid back down and put his arm out, Harry quickly snuggling into it. “Wanna change the subject?”

“Please,” Harry said, letting his eyes shut slowly. “So proud of Jake today, you know. Form Captain. I never got chosen for things like that at school. He’s such a great kid Lou, you did such a good job with him. I can never tell you enough how much I admire you…”

“ _We’re_ doing a great job,” Louis corrected, running a hand through Harry’s tangled curls. “He’s as much as yours as he is mine, and he’s becoming more like you every day. He’s got that kind streak that is so much a part of you, and he copies everything you do. Surely you see how much like you he’s becoming?”

Harry blushed at that, nodding a bit. “Mum said to me the other day he reminds her of me when I was little. That made me smile. He might not be mine biologically-”

“-but you’re in every part of him that counts… his head and his heart,” Louis finished for him, desperate for Harry to understand. “And one day, we’ll have a baby of our own to raise and shape into a kind and wonderful human being like his daddy is.” They kissed slowly at that revelation. Harry loved the baby talk they’d been having lately, and he was sure that soon enough, they’d start talking about putting things in motions, but he hadn’t wanted to force things, certain Louis would talk when he was ready. “Sorry babe, but I can barely keep my eyes open. Sleep?”

“Sure,” Harry said, reaching behind him to flick off his bedside light. He kissed Louis and pulled up the blanket, covering their bare legs. “I love you Lou, sweet dreams.”

“Night darling, love you too.”

*****  
  
It was a few days later, at the weekend sat in Jay’s garden with the children running around, and Anne and Robin sat on the patio with them that Harry and Louis got a call that changed things for them. Harry had ignored the persistent rumbling of his phone on the desk for the past four calls, determined that his work wouldn’t interfere with his family time, and it was Louis who had finally had enough, picking up the call.

“Harry Tomlinson’s phone, Louis speaking,” he said as he answered, all the adults grinning at that. “Oh hi, Leah. Yeah, he’s here, sorry he was with our son. Hold on a sec.” Louis held out the device to Harry who took it with a sigh.

“Yeah, Leah, it’s the weekend, is it important?” Harry went silent and everyone went quiet as Harry’s eyes opened wide, standing up slowly. “Oh my god. Are you kidding? When did you find out?” More hush fell as people strained to hear the other side of the conversation to no avail. “Oh shit. Wow, I- I don’t know what to say.”

Louis made a few gestures at Harry, desperate to hear more but Harry waved him away, finishing up the call. “Yeah, course I’ll tell him. Thank you so much for telling me, this is- wow, it’s amazing. Thanks Leah, have a great weekend. Bye.” Harry ended the call and exhaled, sitting back down next to Louis, aware of the eyes of the gathered family on them.

He suddenly stood again and grabbed Louis’ hand, dragging him suddenly through to the sitting room, for a bit of privacy.

“That was Leah..”

“Yeah, Harry, I gathered you weren’t talking to Buzz Lightyear. What did she want?”

“Um… it’s Home.”

“What’s home? Is there a fire? Has something happened? Oh my god-”

“No, no, Louis don’t panic,” Harry hurried, trying to calm Louis down, aware he’d probably gone about this in the wrong way entirely. “Not our home. Our song, Home.”

“What about it?” Louis looked puzzled now, and Harry’s heart raced as he said the words aloud.

“Well. It’s been nominated.”

“For?” Louis was holding his breath now.

“A fucking grammy.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I shit you not.”

“Holy fucking shit. HOLY SHIT HARRY, A GRAMMY?!?” Louis practically screamed it out and when Harry nodded, he jumped into his arms, both men nearly crying with excitement, spinning around. They stopped, their families stood in the doorway watching them, both red faced and buzzing with excitement.

“Our bloody song has only been nominated for a Grammy!” Harry announced, and everyone gasped before they started cheering, pulling Louis and Harry into tight hugs, congratulating the pair. “Oh my god, Lou, we’re going to the Grammy’s. I get to take you with me, walk the red carpet… maybe accept the award if we win.”

“I mean… wow. What if we won, Harry? Jesus… can you imagine?”

“Yeah, I can,” said Harry proudly, pulling Louis into another hug and kiss. “I’m so proud of us. Dream team, huh?”

“Dream team,” Louis agreed, letting Harry kiss him again. “Oh my god, Harry-”

“What is it?”

“What the fuck am I going to wear?!”


	36. Shattered Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis makes Harry's deepest desires come true, and Jacob has a bit of a breakdown before a shock phone call brings Louis' world crashing down.

“Are you ready for this babe?” Louis bit his lip but nodded next to Harry. They were sat in bed together, it was Saturday lunchtime and they were waiting for a phone call from Graham Norton, whose Radio 2 show was live on air. Word of their Grammy nomination had filtered out quickly thanks to Harry’s proud tweet, and there had been a lot of interest in having the two of them do an interview about it. Louis had been adamant he didn't want to go on television, but when Harry suggested doing a radio chat with someone he trusted, Louis realised that it was the perfect compromise.

“As I’ll ever be,” Louis nodded, taking a few deep breaths. Harry’s phone was sat between them, silent and foreboding as they waited for it to ring. The house was silent around them. Jacob had been invited out swimming with a friend, and had happily gone along, being picked up ridiculously early with Jack’s mum promising to keep him for tea and return much later on. That meant Harry and Louis had the day to themselves, and had done nothing but had sex, kiss and cuddle. It had been a pretty perfect morning, really.

“Still feels surreal, you know,” Harry said into the peace and quiet. “I can’t believe our song is up for a Grammy. Ever since I started writing music, I dreamt that one day I’d be lucky enough to be nominated for something like this. This is all thanks to you, Lou. If you hadn’t have written down those words, Home never would have been written. Yet again, you’ve made another dream come true.”

“Didn't even realise I was doing it,” Louis said with a smile, turning his head to kiss Harry quickly. “I’ve always loved writing stuff down, always had a journal or diary or whatever as a kid, but since I met you, I’ve wanted to do it more. Before I told you I loved you, I used to write it in my notebook, how I was scared I’d ruin everything if I said it too soon. It was easier to write it down than admit it. That was when I realised I just had to go for it. Scribbling it down every night wasn’t getting me anywhere.”

“Aww, you big softie,” Harry said, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist and hugging his bare chest tightly to his own for a second until his phone started to ring, the number Harry had stored earlier that his management had text through to him. “Okay, love, here we go.” He hit the button on his phone to pick up the call and spoke to one of the station crew for a minute before finally, they were patched through to Graham.

“And this morning I’m joined by the very lovely Harry Styles, and his husband Louis Tomlinson, who recently shared the amazing news their song _Home_ has been nominated for a Grammy, Harry’s first nomination of his career. Good morning lads!”

“Morning!” they both replied, grinning cheekily at each other.

“So, did I get that wrong, young Harold? Is it still Harry Styles or are you changing your name now you’re a married man? Actually, that’s very presumptuous of me, perhaps Louis, it’s you who is changing your name?”

Harry indicated to Louis he wanted to answer, and he held his hand as he did so. “No, Graham, I’m still going by Styles for my work. That’s what people know me as, so I’m sticking with that. But in my personal life, at home, I’m Harry Tomlinson now. And I’m very proud to share the same name as my husband and son.”

“Well, that’s lovely, Mr Tomlinson,” Graham teased, and Harry couldn’t ignore the shiver up his spine at hearing his married name yet again. The novelty still hadn’t worn off and both Harry and Louis enjoyed using Harry’s enthusiasm to their advantage, particularly in bed. Nothing got Harry off quicker than hearing his married name tumble from Louis’ lips when he was close. “We’re here to talk about your exciting news…”

“Yes, we’re really thrilled. We didn't expect it at all,” Louis said softly, Harry grinning proudly that his husband had spoken despite his nerves. “We actually wrote the song together and we put it out to the world on the day we got married in secret, our little way of acknowledging what it was we’d done so to now have it nominated like this is beyond our wildest dreams.”

“I bet,” Graham said. “Will you both be attending the ceremony to accept your award?”

Harry chuckled. “It’s not a done deal yet, Graham but yes, Louis and I will be flying over to LA for the ceremony itself. It’ll be great to be there even if we don’t win, it’s an honour to even have been nominated to be honest.”

“Well, it’s well deserved. I thought you were robbed of a nomination with your latest album to be honest, the songs on there are so beautifully done, it deserved more.”

“Thank you!” Louis said, nodding enthusiastically at Harry. “I’ve always said Harry deserves more recognition for his songwriting and music so I’m pleased he’s finally getting that. I’m very proud of him.”

“Well, I’m proud of you too, love. It was your lyrics that helped this song come together, if it wasn’t for your words, the song wouldn’t exist.” Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis for a second, forgetting they were on national radio.

“Oi, keep it clean boys,” Graham joked, making them pull away and blush, still holding hands, legs touching under the covers. “We hope you have a lot of fun, shame it’s a long way away. Can I ask how your son is doing? Harry, we saw your proud dad post the other day, still enjoying being a parent?”

“Best job in the world,” Harry confirmed, squeezing Louis’ hand. “He makes me so happy and proud, him and Louis give me a reason to get up everyday. I never understood how much love you could have for your child, Graham, until I met Jacob. I’m very lucky to have him.”

“And me?” Louis said, nudging Harry who laughed loudly.

“Well, that goes without saying. Married you, didn't I?” Harry’s eyes shone with love as he looked at Louis, the pair getting all soppy again. “But, yeah. He’s the best. The tour was so much more fun this time around because he and Louis came with me. My keys player Clare has been teaching him piano as well, so hopefully I’m rubbing my musicality off onto him a little bit.”

“A future pop star in the making then?” Graham laughed, and Louis snorted.

“Not sure about that, he’s painfully shy, but he enjoys playing for us,” Louis admitted proudly. “I’ll support him in whatever he chooses to do though. Haz and I both will.”

“Fantastic, you sound like the perfect parents,” Graham said, ready to wrap up the interview. “Congratulations again to the pair of you for your nomination, we will all be eagerly awaiting the results of the Grammy awards which will be happening in January. What’s next for you, Harry?”

“Um, I have a few secret things going on that I’m sure you’ll find out about soon,” Harry said, still a little unsure whether or not he was meant to reveal his new plans. “I’m starting writing the next album soon, but other than that, wait and see! For the most part, though, I’m just going to enjoy being a husband and a dad for a little while.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Graham said, a smile clear in his voice down the line. “We’ll leave you to your family but congratulations to you both again! Harry and Louis Tomlinson’s Grammy awarded winning song _Home_ is available now on iTunes along with Harry’s brilliant second album. Hope to chat to you again soon, Harry and Louis!”

“Bye Graham, thanks!” the pair called, Harry finally hanging up with a big smile on his face.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Louis said, wriggling around and folding himself back into Harry’s arms. “Graham’s a good guy. Wish there was more of them around.” Harry nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around Louis, kissing the top of his head. “‘S quiet here without Jake.”

“Yeah. But he’s having fun and so are we, right?”

“Course, always have fun with you. This week’s just been knackering. Feel like I need to get out of my head a bit or something.” Harry nodded knowingly, shifting Louis’ body off his own.

“Tell you what. I’m gonna pop out to the shop and get some ice cream and junk food, and we’re gonna sit on the sofa naked and watch movies and make out all afternoon. Does that sound good?”

“Fuck yeah,” Louis said, raising his arms and pulling Harry down into a quick kiss. He watched as his husband grabbed some clothes, sliding on joggers over his naked lower half, and slipping on one of Louis’ t-shirt. “Don’t be long. I’ll be waiting. Love you.

“Well, I love you more.” Louis was sure the smile was never, ever going to leave his face.

*****

“Lou! Babe, where are you?” Harry called from the kitchen, where he was stuffing the two cartons of ice-cream into their freezer. The sun had been warmer than he’d thought and they’d melted slightly on the way home. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sipped half of it down, wiping his sweaty forehead on a piece of kitchen roll before throwing it in the bin and heading upstairs.

His calls were met with only silence, and Harry frowned slightly, peering out through the french doors into the garden, checking Louis hadn’t gone outside for some sun. There was still no sign of him so Harry padded up the stairs, water bottle still in his hand as he hummed to himself, pulling off his sweaty t-shirt and throwing it into the wash basket at the top of the stairs, annoyed at himself for forgetting to put it into the machine before he left for the shop.

“Louis, are you here? Is there a reason-” He stopped as he walked in the bedroom. He dropped the water bottle onto the floor with a clunk and tried to gather himself. “What- I mean, is this- fuck, Louis.” He took in a deep breath and stared at Louis, and what he’d laid out on the bed for him. Louis was sat in the chair in the corner of the room, one ankle resting on the opposite knee, his arms folded across his chest, staring at Harry.

“Go and put them on for me.”

Harry bit his lip and took a step closer to the bed, where the handcuffs and the blue lace knickers he’d bought for himself the other day lay on top of the fresh sheets. He picked up the underwear in one hand and turned around, about to head for the bathroom when Louis’ voice stopped him again.

“I’ve changed my mind. Here. Put them on here, please love.” Harry’s heart was racing as he nodded, facing Louis once more as he started to undress, sliding the joggers down his legs and kicking them off, leaving him naked. He watched as Louis’ eyes ran from his feet up until they hovered at his cock before, at last, they met his own eyes, and they stared for a moment.

Harry stumbled slightly as he put his long legs through the leg holes of the knickers, pulling them and adjusting his cock so it was concealed by the light blue lace. Harry looked down, twisting so he could see how he looked, and when he was pleased, he took a step towards Louis, toes turned in through nerves and anticipation.

“Is this-”

“If you want it to be.” Louis didn't drop his gaze, wanting Harry to realise he had control here, that this was up to him.

“I do. I really do… fuck, I’m nervous, Lou.”

Louis stood up then, reaching out for Harry’s hands and taking them in his own. He brought Harry’s left hand to his mouth, kissing it then kissing his wedding band. “It’s just me, babe. And we can stop whenever you want, okay? I want this to be good for you… want it to be everything you need. That sound okay?”

Harry exhaled and nodded, Louis’ touch grounding him somewhat. His breath hitched as Louis’ hand trailed up his arms, across his chest and slowly down, teasing at the small trail of hair leading into the waistband of the knickers.

“You look stunning in these… think you’re so pretty when you wear knickers for me, sweetheart.” Harry could feel himself blush at Louis’ words, bringing his hands down to try and cover himself, feeling oddly exposed but Louis stopped him, putting his arms back to his sides. “Don’t cover yourself up… you’re too beautiful babe. I love you so much, Harry.”

“Love you too,” Harry mumbled, already feeling a little out of his head. Louis got onto his tiptoes and pulled Harry’s head down so he could kiss him, deepening it slowly but surely. His tongue slid across Harry’s, enjoying the sensation of his husband’s warm and wet lips against his own as they kissed, lost in their own little bubble. Louis soon started to push on Harry’s shoulder, and Harry frowned, wondering what Louis was up to.

Louis just smirked at him and stepped away, palming himself with one hand as he locked eyes with Harry. “On your knees, love. Want you to suck me.” Harry nodded and dropped to his knees, ignoring the pain as his joints hit the floor. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Louis’ boxers and pulled them off, admiring his husband’s hard cock, how beads of precome were already bubbling from the slit. He stuck the tip of his tongue out and ducked forwards enough to lick them up, tasting Louis at last. Louis groaned, tangling his fingers in Harry’s curls and pulling Harry closer.

Harry took a deep breath in, inhaling the scent that was so _Louis_ and parted his lips, taking the head into his mouth, sucking gently. He worked his tongue around in circles, drawing deep, guttural moans from Louis until things suddenly changed pace, and Louis pulled him off his cock. Harry stared up at him from the floor, eyes wide and cheeks red.

“You sure this is what you want? Me to ruin you?” Harry just nodded and something seemed to snap in Louis as he realised this was really all okay with his husband. Harry could feel Louis’ eyes rake over his body, stopping at where his hard cock was now peeking out over the waistband of his knickers, Harry leaning back slightly to afford him a better view. Louis bit his lip and roughly pulled Harry forwards by his hair and straight onto his cock.

He didn't waste any time in using his hands in Harry’s hair to guide him, to pull Harry onto his cock repeatedly, Harry staring up at him from the floor, eyes glassy and pupils blown as Louis continued to fuck his mouth. He took everything Louis gave him, let him control the pace, and just as he was getting into it, swallowing down the precome as Louis’ cock repeatedly hit the back of his throat, Louis pulled off, leaving Harry on his knees, panting, a mess.

“Get on the bed,” Louis said roughly, fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, clearly trying to stop himself coming. He crawled on after Harry and pulled his husband’s legs apart, kneeling between them. He ran his small hands up and down Harry’s broad thighs, watching how Harry wriggled under his touch, how his cock twitch, dampening the front of the lacy knickers even more. It drove him wild how much Harry loved Louis touching, how he wanted to play with him like this, and Louis ducked his head, sucking into the soft, pale skin of Harry’s inner thigh.

“Oh fuck- Lou… oh god, so good…” Harry mumbled as he shut his eyes, focusing on the way his skin was being sucked into Louis’ mouth, the slight pain of it too much of a turn on. Louis pulled off and licked over the red skin before diving straight back in and sucking another bruise next to the first, repeating the action, driving Harry wild. He soon turned his attention to Harry’s other thigh before he sat back up, admiring the deep red marks he’d left on his husband, only for his eyes.

Harry propped himself up on his elbows and looked down, gasping at the state of his thighs thanks to Louis. “Shit.... I’m really gonna feel these tomorrow…” He smiled at the sight, loving when Louis claimed him like this.

“You love it.”

“I really do.” Louis’ hand came up and started rubbing over Harry’s cock. “Lou… need you baby…”

“I know you do… be patient, love. Gonna make you feel so good, gonna ruin you…” Harry shuddered at the words, and watched as Louis fetched a bottle of lube from their bedside table. “Hands and knees please.”

Harry scrambled to comply, presenting his lace covered backside for Louis, and moaned when Louis buried his face between his cheeks, on top of the lace, and licked down. Harry could feel his arms trembling, struggling to hold himself up and he panted, eyes scrunched together as he willed himself not to come. He couldn’t even crane his head around to watch Louis, he knew just the sight of it would push him over the edge.

He moaned as Louis pulled the knickers to one side and slid a lubed up finger inside him, avoiding the one place Harry needed to be touched the most. He fucked back on Louis’ fingers, groaning loudly as Louis pressed a second in, stretching him more. Louis continued to mutter filthy words as he fingered Harry open, and used the fingers of his free hand to press into the bruises on his thighs, making Harry whimper.

“Please-” Harry begged, rocking his hips back and forth. He sighed when he felt Louis’ fingers slip from him, and his knickers were pulled off, Harry lifting his knees so Louis could slip them off. He looked back at how Louis carefully laid them out on the bed next to them, and lined up the head of his hard cock at Harry’s hole. “Want it… want it rough, Lou…”

Louis nodded and pushed in quickly, bottoming out straight away. They both moaned and Louis stilled for a moment, not wanting this to be over too quickly. His eyes raked over the curve of Harry’s spine, admiring how beautiful Harry looked like for him. His back was covered in a light sheen of sweat, there were still a few red scratches down his back from where he’d fucked Louis so hard the other night, Louis had dug his nails in to Harry in sheer pleasure. Louis slowly drew his hips back and slammed back in, making Harry cry out.

“Lemme hear you, babe…” Louis rumbled, clamping his fingers into Harry’s hips as he started a vigorous and unforgiving pace, his cock pounding deep inside Harry, shunting them both up the bed. Harry was practically crying now but Louis didn't give in, knowing this was what Harry really wanted… to be owned and cared for by Louis, and it turned Louis on that Harry trusted him enough for this. “So fucking amazing, Harry… nothing better than fucking you …”

“Love you, love you in me..” Harry mumbled, flicking back his head, trying to get his curls out of his eyes. Louis took that a cue, and grabbed a handful of Harry’s hair and tugged fairly hard, making Harry hiss at the burn on his scalp. “Fuck yes….” Louis continued to yank on his hair, watching how Harry’s body accepted everything. “Oh god… Lou… I’m gonna come…”

“Come for me, baby, show me how much you love me fucking you…” He smirked as Harry cried out and came untouched all over the sheet under his body. Harry’s arms were shaking and finally gave out, slumping down to the mattress, Louis still buried in him. “I’m not done with you, that okay?”

Harry just nodded, face mushed into the pillow and Louis pulled out, flipping Harry over, staring down at his debauched body. There was come over his stomach now, his cock was still half-hard despite the fact he’d just come, and if Louis was honest, he looked like sin. Louis roughly pulled Harry’s legs apart again, admiring his fucked out hole for a second before he pushed back in, Harry crying out with oversensitivity.

“This okay?” Louis whispered, and Harry nodded. Louis looked down at his husband’s thighs again, too turned on by the bruises and thrust hard into Harry’s body, getting ever closer to his orgasm. Harry was getting louder with each thrust and while Louis loved listening to him let go like this, only for him, he had an idea.

He reached across the bed and grabbed the knickers, bundling them into a ball, and grabbed Harry’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, prising his mouth open. Gently, he pushed the knickers into Harry’s mouth, gagging him. Harry stared open-eyed up at him but nodded, telling Louis it was fine. He reached out and Louis grabbed his hand, pushing it back against the bed as he started up again, flicking his hips, skin slapping on skin.

“Gonna fill you up… you want that?” Harry just nodded, and Louis’ eyes flickered with desire at the sight of Harry like this, a complete mess, just for him. Louis thrust harder, to the point it was bordering on painful for himself, he was so desperate to come. “Love you Harry… all mine, all ruined for me…” Louis came hard with a shout of Harry’s name, feeling his body pumping ribbons of come into Harry, the younger man closing his eyes and just taking it. 

He collapsed down on top of Harry as his body gave out, feeling entirely spent. He came to a second later, and reached fingers up, hooking the knickers out of Harry’s mouth, leaving them on the sheet next to them. He pulled out with a wince, but sat up enough to admire the sight of his come dripping from Harry’s body, gathering on his bruised thighs. Louis bent and kissed the bruises again, Harry whimpering slightly. Harry’s hand came up and grabbed at Louis’ shoulder, pulling him down next to him again, wrapping his long arms around Louis’ torso.

“Shit…” Louis said, catching sight of the handcuffs he’d hung up from the bedframe to use. He’d forgotten about them in his haste to be inside Harry, and now he was annoyed with himself. Harry’s eyes followed Louis’, widening when they realised what they were looking at. “Meant to use those...”

“Next time..” Harry mumbled, and Louis shivered with the thought that he’d get to ruin his husband again. “Fuck. That was so fucking good, Lou. You were… wow, just… you were amazing. Love being used by you.”

“It was amazing,” Louis agreed, trailing his fingertips up and down Harry’s sweaty torso. “Thank you for trusting me enough, for letting me do that to you.”

“I trust you more than anyone, Lou. I’ve never wanted to give all of myself to anyone like I want to with you. You’re… you’re my everything. I love you so much.” They kissed softly for a minute, the moment becoming soft and tender despite the fact the room was filled with the scent of sex and sweat, spit and come covered knickers lying next to them in a puddle on the sheet.

“I love you more,” Louis said honestly, dragging himself to a sitting position. “Now come on, Jake’ll be home in an hour and we need to shower and change this bed.” He leaned back down and kissed Harry’s waiting lips again. “Too gorgeous. Come on, up you get…”

*****

“Jacob, concentrate please,” Harry reminded his son gently as they sat at the kitchen table working their way through his homework sheets. He’d been in Year three just over two weeks now, and was finding the amount of work quite a lot, both Harry and Louis struggling to get him to sit and do his homework and reading, the complete antithesis of how he was last year about his school work.

Jacob sighed and continued, shutting one book and pulling his spelling sheet over. He procrastinated for a while, fiddling with his pencil, changing it for a different one, selecting a rubber from his pencil case and generally avoiding doing any work until Harry noticed again what he was up to. He’d been working on a few lyrics for his charity single but when he saw Jacob was struggling, he shut his journal and scooted his chair across. Louis was watching the pair out of the corner of his eye, deciding not to get involved and turned back to his work.

“What’s up? You don’t seem very keen to get on with this homework. Look, let’s get it done and then we-”

“I hate it! I hate school, I hate homework, I’m just stupid and you’re stupid too Dad!” Jacob sobbed as he pushed his chair back across the kitchen floor violently and ran out of the room, his feet thundering on the stairs as he darted away. Harry sat back in his chair feeling entirely shell-shocked, and even Louis was a bit blindsided by his son’s outburst. He got up and sat in Jacob’s now free chair, taking Harry’s hand.

“He didn't mean it,” Louis began, feeling bad that Jacob had treated Harry that way. They’d been in each others lives over eighteen months now, and things had perhaps been going too well. They didn't fight, Harry and Jacob were closer than ever, but even so, none of them saw this coming at all. “I don’t know what’s got into him, he’s been a bit of a misery this week. I’ll go and talk to him-”

“No, please let me?” Harry said, wanting to fix things. “He needs to know I’m not angry with him, that he can talk to me. I want him to know that the things he said to me didn't push me away, please Lou?” Louis nodded and stood up with Harry, wrapping his arms around his husband’s waist and pulling him close.

“You’re an amazing dad, you know? Love how much you care and love him, even though-”

“Don’t say it. He is mine. He’ll always be mine, okay?” Louis just nodded and they kissed quickly before Harry pulled away, smiling at Louis over his shoulder as he walked out of the kitchen and up to Jacob’s room. The door was closed so Harry knocked, wanting his son to realise that just because he was the adult, it didn't mean he had a right to barge in and invade Jacob’s privacy. “Jake? Can I come in please?”

The door slowly cracked open, and Harry’s heart broke as he looked at his son, tears streaming down his face, gaze on the floor.

“I’m so sorry, Dad,” the little boy whispered, and Harry just fell to his knees, arms open and Jacob surged forward into them, crying onto Harry’s shoulder. Harry picked him up and made his way to Jacob’s bed, sitting the boy on his lap, rubbing his back until his tears started to subside, Jacob just hiccuping as he tried to calm down. “You aren’t stupid. I love you and I am very sorry. Please don’t leave us.”

“What? I’m not going anywhere, love. Remember when Daddy and I got married, and I promised to be here forever, to love you and Daddy until the end of time?” Jacob nodded, and Harry wiped at his tears with his fingers. “Well, I meant it, okay? That means I’ll be here even when you’re a bit mean to me, when you’re a teenager and I’m not your cool Dad anymore, and whenever you need me. I will always be here for you, please don’t ever think you could ever do anything to make me want to run away, Jacob.”

“Okay. But I am sorry for being rude to you. Daddy says rudeness is not kind, and I promise I didn't mean it.”

“I know, love. I do. But can I ask what made you so upset?” He looked up at the doorway then, sensing someone watching them and saw Louis looking on, leaning against the doorframe. He sensed Jacob’s hesitation, and beckoned Louis over. “Nothing you can say will make us love you any less, love. Is something the matter at school?”

Jacob nodded and bit his lip, tears welling his eyes. Louis sat next to Harry and he took Jacob’s hand, staying quiet, happy that Harry was taking the lead. “Um. Yeah, I think… it’s hard. Year three I mean. And I did a spelling test last week and I did really bad. I just find it so hard, all the letters get muddled and I get all scared of getting it wrong…”

He cried again then, and Harry looked at Louis, feeling helpless at not knowing what to say or how to make it right.

“Okay, love, here’s what we will do,” Louis said, taking the lead now. “I think Dad and I need to have a meeting with Mr Fox and have a chat about your spellings and things. I know you’ve always found it hard, but maybe now you’re a bit older, there are things we could do to help you, yeah?” Harry nodded, eager to show Jacob he was completely on board with that too.

“Okay, Daddy. I’m sorry if me doing bad on my test has made you mad at me.”

“Not at all, babe. I know you try so hard, and that’s all me and Dad can ever ask. Now, we’re going to sit and look at this homework together, alright? I’m sure between us we can help you.” Jacob nodded and shuffled off Harry’s lap into Louis’, holding him tightly for a minute. He pulled away, looking both of them in the eyes.

“Thank you. I’ve got the best daddies in the world.” They both smiled and had a family hug for a few minutes before they headed back downstairs, Louis and Harry sitting at the table either side of Jacob, helping him through his work. When finally they were done, Jacob ran off to tuck the work into his school bag and Harry sighed, resting his head in his hands.

“I hate seeing him struggle, Lou. Why didn't he tell us before? Did he really think we’d be cross because he’d finding it tough?”

Louis shrugged. “Kids deal with things in different ways. I’m glad he was honest with us, I just wish I’d spotted it sooner. I mean, I’ve noticed his spelling is really bad, that something’s not right. I’ve had an inkling for a while, but now he’s seven, I can ask his teacher about testing him…”

“For what?” Harry asked, puzzled.

“I’m wondering if he’s dyslexic, love,” Louis said, feeling slight relief at finally admitting it to Harry. “It would explain the fact he struggles with his writing and his spelling, and there are things they can do at school to help him if that’s the case.” Harry bit his lip, a little surprised at that. “Hey, it’s not the end of the world, you know? He’s still Jake..”

“No, it’s not that… I just hate to see him struggle, Lou. He’s such an amazing kid and I hate that he was struggling on his own.”

“He’s not gonna struggle alone anymore, okay? He’s got us, and we’ll do whatever it takes to help him.” Harry nodded and leaned into Louis’ kiss, keeping it chaste as they could Jacob moving around. A few minutes later, the little boy burst into the kitchen, cycle helmet atop his head.

“Dad! Can we go on a bike ride while Daddy finishes his work? It’s sunny and we can go to the park!”

Harry grinned at his son’s enthusiasm, and looked to Louis, who nodded, happy to stay behind and finish his work. He looked out of the kitchen window, pleased to see the sun was indeed shining, perfect bike riding weather. “Course love, father son bike ride it is!” He smiled widely at Louis at that, and opened his arms, Jacob hugging him before pulling away and asking Harry to fix his straps. Harry fastened it under his chin, and Louis stood, grabbing the bottle of sun cream and covering his son’s arms, face and neck in the cream, much to his annoyance.

“Oi, you too,” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s wrist as he made to leave the room. “Got to look after this gorgeous skin.” He rubbed the cream into Harry’s face and neck too, letting his husband do his arms himself. “Be safe, and have fun, okay?”

He took Jacob to the front door while Harry went to the garage, grabbing both bikes and laying them out on the front lawn, putting on his own helmet, always keen to set a good example. He picked up Jacob’s and watched him get ready, setting his pedals and blew a kiss to Louis who was stood watching them both.

“Be about an hour, Lou. Get your work done and we can have Tomlinson family movie night, yeah?” Jacob cheered and Harry laughed, picking up the frame of his bike and climbing on. “Ready, kiddo? Bye Lou, love you!”

“Love you Daddy!” Jacob cried as he pedalled away, Harry hot on his heels, on the road next to Jacob who was on the pavement. Louis smiled to himself as they turned the corner and headed back inside. He flicked on his iPod sat in the special dock that Harry had bought, linked up to wireless speakers mounted around the house, and soon his favourite tracks were blasting out as he sat down and finished his work.

He realised when he was done he still had time to start the dinner and grabbed the things from the fridge, starting to chop the veggies needed for the fajitas, a dinner he knew both of his boys loved. He was singing along at the top of his voice when he was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He frowned slightly when he saw it was Harry calling and hurried to mute the song, answering the call.

“Haz? You alright babe?” Louis’ blood ran cold as he heard sniffing down the line, and his heart started to race, panic running through his veins. “Harry? Harry, what’s going on, talk to-”

“Daddy? You need to come, please-” Jacob started to cry and Louis stood still, not knowing what to do.

“Jacob? What’s going on, love? Where’s Daddy?” Louis got his thoughts together and dashed towards the front door, looking frantically around for his keys. “Jacob-”

“We’re near the park. Daddy won’t-” He sobbed again, and Louis took a breath, knowing he had to calm Jacob down and find out what was happening.

“Daddy won’t what, love? Can you put him on the phone?”

“He got hit, he’s on the floor. You need to come Daddy…” Louis could feel himself start to shake as Jacob’s words sank in.

“He’s on the floor and he won’t wake up. Dad won’t wake up.” Jacob sniffed, and Louis thought he was going to be sick. “Please help him Daddy."

Louis slammed the door behind him, tears streaming down his face, hands shaking as he tried to start the car. Jacob spoke again, his voice small and full of fear.

"He won’t wake up.”


	37. Slipping Through My Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis struggles to hold it all together as he copes alone.

****Louis thought that this had been the longest half an hour of his life. He hated hospital waiting rooms at the best of times but right now, it felt like he was in purgatory, and all he wanted was someone to come out and tell him what was going on. Jacob was still sniffling next to him, curled up on a cold, hard blue plastic chair, and Louis kept reaching out, touching him, letting him know in the only way he could that everything was going to be okay, despite the fact he really didn't know that.

He shut his eyes, trying to block out the repeating film running in his mind of what had happened from the moment he’d answered that awful phone call, hearing his young son sob over the phone that his daddy, Louis’ husband, wouldn’t wake up. He’d never driven so fast in his life. He had headed in the general direction of the park, and he’d arrived at the same time as the ambulance a member of the public had kindly called.

When he saw Harry’s battered and lifeless body on the floor, he had wanted to vomit. Instead, he’d had to be strong for Jacob, scooping up his young son into a cuddle before letting a kind older lady tend to him while he hovered over Harry, watching the paramedics strap on a neck brace, and carefully manoeuvre him onto a stretcher. Louis had begged him to wake up, to respond, to come back to him but he’d remained entirely unconscious. Louis thought he had never been so scared, and as he watched them close the doors and blue-light his husband to hospital, he’d turned to the hedge and vomited, unable to hold back any longer.

He’d driven both himself and Jacob to hospital in a daze, where they’d been sat in the waiting room ever since. The nurse who dealt with Harry’s admission assured Louis someone would be out to talk to him once they knew something, and Louis kept glancing at the clock, hoping that time would come. He sighed, and realised that he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had to call Anne.

“Love? I’m just going to stand by those doors, I need to call Nanny Anne and tell her about Dad, okay?” Jacob just sniffed and nodded, and before he left, Louis bent down and hugged his son tightly, wanting him to know he was there for him despite his own grief and anguish. He pulled out his phone with shaky hands, and hit the contact for his mother in law. He swallowed heavily as the phone rang, and her chirpy voice soon sounded through the line. Louis winced, hating how he was going to crush her world.

“Hello, love! Lovely to hear from you-” She cut off as she heard Louis sob unexpectedly down the line. “Louis? Oh goodness, is everything okay?”

“No, Anne,” he mumbled, trying to control himself somewhat. “Anne, it’s Harry, there’s been an accident. Can you- can you come? He’s not, not in a good way. Please, please come…”

“Oh my god, Louis I’m on my way, what happened?” Louis spent the next few minutes explaining as best she could while Robin drove them to the hospital. He hung up when he told her he had to call his own Mum, and sobbed on the phone to Jay, explaining again what had happened. She promised to be there and to call Zayn to collect Harry and Jacob’s bikes from where they’d been abandoned, and Louis made his way back inside, sitting next to his son who climbed onto his lap.

Another twenty minutes passed, and still no-one came out to talk to Louis. This felt like some cruel sort of torture, and each time the doors were buzzed open, his heart stopped and he watched as staff moved around, looking for patients or their families.

“Louis? Oh my darling…” he heard, spinning around to see Anne hurtling towards him, and he stood just in time to accept her hug, both crying into each other. Louis’ gaze flitted to Robin, who had picked up Jacob and was holding him close, and Louis had never loved his father-in-law more at the moment. He gripped his fingers into the back of Anne’s blouse, trying to soothe her too. Harry was her baby, and he knew how he would feel if it were Jacob who was in hospital.

She pulled away, wiping at her tears with a tissue that was clenched in her hand. “Have you heard anything? Has anyone spoken to you?” Louis shook his head, stepping away with Anne so Jacob didn't have to hear. “Louis, be honest with me. How bad did it look?”

“Pretty bad,” he admitted, nausea floating around in his stomach again at the memories of Harry laying there on the ground, leg contorted in a disgustingly unnatural way, blood seeping from a head wound, his helmet cracked in half. “He wasn’t moving, Anne. I’m pretty sure his leg is broken, and he had quite a few cuts. It was fucking horrible, I- I hate that Jake had to see that, had to deal with that on his own.” Anne hugged him again then, and the doors whooshed open, Jay hurrying over and hugging Louis and then Anne.

They all sat together in silence, minds racing as they waited for news. After what felt like an eternity, a young looking doctor stepped out decked in blue scrubs, checking her clipboard before she spoke.

“Family of Harry Tomlinson?” Louis stood shakily, Anne and Jay holding onto his hands. She stepped over and smiled softly. Louis looked back over his shoulder at Robin, who still had Jacob curled up on his lap.

“Go, Lou. I’ll look after Jacob, go find Harry.” He nodded and, still holding his mums hands, they walked through to the family room, sitting down together, the doctor opposite them.

“Hi, I’m Dr Canham, I’m the registrar in charge of the A&E department tonight. Can I ask who all of you are please?”

Jay took the lead, seeing Louis and Anne were entirely shell-shocked and in no position to speak. “Louis is my son, he’s Harry’s husband. Anne is Harry’s mum.” The doctor nodded, jotting this information down. “Louis and Harry’s son Jacob is in the waiting room. He was there at the accident, I think someone needs to check him over for signs of shock.” Again the doctor nodded, cocking an eyebrow at Jay’s forthright manner. “Sorry, I’m a midwife, was a nurse beforehand. It never leaves you.”

“You’re right. Okay, well as you know Harry was brought in in quite a serious condition. From what we can understand, he was hit by a moving vehicle and knocked from his bicycle to the ground. Luckily he was wearing a helmet but the force of Harry’s impact with the ground cracked the helmet, and consequently he appears to have some head trauma. At the moment, we haven’t got a clear picture of exactly what is going on, but soon we will be moving him to the ICU and performing some more tests to get a clearer picture of what’s happening.”

“What about his leg? And his arm?” Louis asked, squeezing Anne’s hand so tightly, she winced.

“His femur is broken, and will likely need surgery to be pinned in order to aid the healing and bone fusion. His arm has a hairline fracture, so he'll be in a soft splint for that. These injuries, while horrible, are non-life threatening Louis, and will be dealt with. Our primary concern is Harry’s head injury, and ascertaining whether there has been any injury to his brain.”

Louis felt sick at the possibility Harry’s brain may have been injured, and he started rocking where he sat, shutting his eyes, trying to stave off the wave of nausea running over him. “Can I- can I see him? I need to see him, please?”

The doctor nodded, but her expression was serious. “Louis, you have to understand Harry looks a bit of a mess right now. He has multiple contusions and abrasions on his face and body, his leg and arm are in temporary splints, and he has a neck brace to support him. He’s unconscious, and has IVs in his arm and ankles giving him medicine to keep him comfortable. I assure you he’s in the best hands, and we are doing our best for him.”

“I hate to ask this,” Jay began, knowing she was only voicing what Louis couldn’t at the moment. “His privacy… we don’t want this in the press before we know what’s happening. Can-”

“I assure you, Mrs…”

“Deakin,” Jay supplied.

“Mrs Deakin, that our staff are very discrete and will be made aware of the need to keep Harry’s presence here entirely confidential. He has been entered in our systems under his married name, which I think will help keep his anonymity for a short while, but please rest assured that we are here to help Harry, and that means his privacy as well.”

“Thank you, I’m sorry I had to ask-”

“No, please don’t be sorry, I understand. I can let two family members through at the moment.”

Jay stood with Anne and Louis, hugging her son quickly. “Go and see him, give him a kiss for me, okay? I’ll go and wait for you with Robin and Jake. I’m not going anywhere Lou, okay?” Louis nodded blindly, and together, he and Anne followed Dr Canham, stopping outside a private room, a steady beep of a heart monitor coming from within.

“Okay, you can go in when you’re ready. There will be nurses and doctors coming in and out, but they are there to monitor Harry and won’t disturb you.” Anne nodded, seeing Louis didn't respond, and reached out, pushing down the door handle. She gasped when she saw the state of her son in the hospital bed, hooked up to many wires, dressings and splint and braces all over his broken body.

Louis couldn’t move. His husband looked like a stranger to him. His hair had been scraped back, displaying the grazes and cuts to the left side of his face, and he had an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. He was topless and had numerous things attached to his chest, and his arm was supported by an orange splint. His leg looked horrendous, still at an awful angle, and Louis hated looking at him like this.

Harry was usually so strong. He was the one who kept Louis going, who supported him and loved him unconditionally. Now, though, he needed to be that person for Harry, he needed to be strong and support his husband when he needed it the most. He took in a deep breath and stepped over, taking Harry’s left hand in his, stroking his thumb idly over the wedding band on his finger.

“Hey love,” he whispered, watching Anne sit opposite him, stroking Harry’s other arm, the one inside the splint. Their eyes met for a second, and Louis could see the pain in his own eyes reflected back at him in Anne’s. This felt like a living hell but he needed to talk to Harry, to tell him he was there, that he wasn’t leaving. “I’m here now, and so’s your mum. We’re both here. Jake’s here too, with Mum and Robin, but I don’t want him to see you like this, not just yet.”

Anne nodded, fully understanding that this would traumatising to the young boy. She sniffed, listening to Louis continue to whisper to his unconscious husband, accompanied by the steady beep of the monitors Harry was hooked up to. “I’ve never been so scared than when I saw you,” Louis began, voice wobbling with emotion. “You have to get better, love. We’ve got so, so much to look forward to together, you can’t go leaving me now, you just can’t. You still look so beautiful to me, you know. Even all bashed up and bloody, you’re so beautiful. I love you Harry, please wake up my darling. I need you, Haz.”

He exhaled and rested his forehead on Harry’s arm, hating how he didn't respond to Louis’ touch how he always did. They sat there for a long while, a steady stream of nurses and doctors coming in to check on Harry, to refill his IV bags and write down stats from the monitors. Soon enough, Dr Canham came in, smiling at Louis and Anne.

“Okay, we’ve got a free bed in the ICU and we’re going to take Harry up now. You’re welcome to come with us, but visiting hours on the ward are quite strict, and Harry will only be allowed two visitors at any one time, who will need to be added to his approved visitor list for his safety. Once he’s been admitted to the ward, we’re going to get him to CT and get a picture of his brain to help us work out if there’s any trauma or bleeding going on.”

Louis nodded, and stood to the side with Anne, watching as a porter came in and expertly attached IV poles and things to the bed before kicking off the brakes and maneouvering the hospital bed around the warren-like corridors, swiping his access card at several sets of double doors to allow them to pass. They stood silently in the lift together, and finally, there were on the ward and Harry was now a patient of the ICU.

“I’m gonna go see Jake for a sec,” Louis said softly once Harry was in and had Anne sat next to him. “I’m gonna get Mum to take him home and look after him while I’m here. He doesn’t need to see Harry like this, I think it’ll freak him out at the moment.”

“I think that’s wise, love. This isn’t the ideal thing for him to see. I’ll stay with him.” She stood up and hugged Louis again. “I love you, Louis. He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?”

“He’s strong,” was all Louis could say before he slipped out of the room. He was stopped at the desk before he left, and a hospital bracelet was fitted to his wrist, ensuring he would be allowed admission freely back into the ward to see his husband. He went down the stairs, not wanting to be trapped in the lift and when the metal doors slid open, he followed the signs to the waiting room. He stood and watched for a bit as Jacob chatted with Jay and Robin, finally having stopped crying.

Louis walked over and Jacob leapt up, running straight into his dad’s waiting arms. “How is Daddy? Can I go and see him? Is he awake?” His questions came out in a hurry and Louis felt a little sick at the fact he had to be honest with his son.

“No, love, he’s not awake yet.” Jay and Robin locked eyes with Louis at that, feeling sad themselves for the state Harry was in. “The doctors want him to stay asleep for now, to help his head get better. As for seeing Dad… I don’t think now is a good time, love. He isn’t very well, and I don’t want you to be upset seeing him like that.”

A lone tear snaked down Jacob’s cheek at Louis’ words, and he nuzzled his face into the side of Louis’ neck. “Are you telling me lies?”

“What?” Louis asked, confused by now.

“Are you lying to me? Is Dad dead and you don’t want to tell me?” He cried loudly then, and Louis’ heart broke even more. He hugged Jacob tightly, swaying him side to side.

“No, my darling. I promise you he’s just asleep-”

“Lou,” Jay began softly, standing to his side. “I think Jacob needs to see Harry, if only just for a second. He needs reassurance he’s okay, then I’ll take him home.” Louis nodded seriously and headed through the doors, towards the ICU. He paused outside of Harry’s room, wanting to prepare his son.

“Daddy doesn’t look very well, sweetheart. He’s got lots of bumps and cuts, and his leg and arm are poorly too. But he’s still Daddy, okay? I’m not going to let you stay long because Dad needs rest, but I just need you to know he’s okay, and he’s just asleep.” Jacob just nodded and made no move to get down from Louis’ arms as they walked in, Anne smiling softly at the pair from where she sat still holding Harry’s hand.

Louis lowered himself into the chair, Jacob burying his face in his chest for a few moments before he finally turned his head. He cried quietly as he looked at his dad and reached out an arm before pulling back quickly.

“Can I touch him? Will I hurt him?”

“Of course you can touch him, Dad can feel if you’re here,” Louis said, hoping that was true. “You couldn’t hurt him baby, he’d be so happy to know you’re here. I’ll make sure to tell him when he wakes up.”

Jacob nodded at that and took Harry’s big hand in his own. “I love you Dad, please get better soon so you can come home. I love you so much, you’re the best Dad in the whole world.” He kissed Harry’s hand, careful not to jostle the IV site, and Louis decided that was enough for today.

“Okay, let’s go. Say bye to Daddy, you’ll see him again soon okay?”

“Bye Dad. I love you to the moon and back,” Jacob called, tears falling as they left the room. Louis was aware of the eyes of the nurses on the pair as they left the ward, hurrying to get him back to Jay who took him from Louis’ arms when he reentered the waiting room. “What- no, I want to stay with you Daddy, please-”

“Jacob, you can’t stay here, love. Go home with Nanny Jay, and she will bring you back soon. I love you, I’m sorry love.”

“No, please Daddy, don’t make me go, I need to stay, I need to look after Dad- no- PLEASE!” Jacob was practically screaming now, Jay having to hold on tightly.

“Just go,” Louis said, tears welling in his eyes. “Thanks Mum, Robin. I love you Jake, I’m sorry-”

“NO! Please, I need to stay, Daddy…….” His cries didn't subside until the double doors closed, and Louis’ heart broke as he slumped down into a chair in the corner and cried, finally letting out every bit of emotion he had trapped inside for hours. He was completely and utterly heartbroken, and all he wanted in the world was a hug from the one person that couldn’t give it to him. He needed Harry to be okay. He had to be. Louis didn't think he could go on without him, and he sobbed for everything he had, and the fear of losing everything - his home, his Harry.

*

The next few days passed by in a blur. Harry had shown no signs of waking up, much to Louis’ distress, and the adults had all decided it was in Jacob’s best interests to not have him come back to the hospital. Jay had called Louis and told him the boy had been having terrible nightmares, often ending up in bed with Jay and Dan, and Louis had taken advantage of Anne and Robin sitting with Harry to go and see his son, to reassure him Harry was still just sleeping, but that he was going to be okay. Louis hoped by saying those words, they just might come true.

It was on his return to the hospital one afternoon that things took a turn. He parked their Audi in one of the spaces reserved for patients families, Louis thinking Harry hadn’t even gotten a chance to enjoy their new car before the accident. He brushed that thought aside as he stuck their parking permit in the windscreen and headed for the entrance.

There was a gathered crowd of people, all clutching teddies and bunches of flowers and he frowned, wondering what was happening. It was as he got nearer he heard snippets that led him to believe the gathered crowds were there for Harry, and his heart sunk. He thought that they had done a good job of keeping Harry’s accident hidden to date, and the thought of it becoming public knowledge made him feel a little bit sick.

He tried to slip away but someone caught sight of him, people starting to call out, asking after Harry, whether he was alive, what state he was in. The noise was too much, Louis felt completely closed in and hurried to push his way through the crowds. A couple of security guards noticed the scuffle and moved over, pushing the waiting crowds back as Louis dashed inside, panting heavily as he slumped into a nearby chair. He caught his breath before he entered the lift, once again stepping into the ICU and heading for Harry’s room.

“Louis? What’s happened?” Anne asked as he stepped in, sensing something was wrong.

“They know,” was all Louis said, running a hand through his sweaty hair before leaning down to kiss Harry’s lips, a ritual he was keen not to break. “Hello, beautiful. Gonna make today the one you wake up for me, huh?” Silence was the only reply and Louis smiled softly, brushing back Harry’s curls, and sitting down, taking his husband’s hand in his own. It frightened him how quickly this was becoming his norm, and he looked over to Anne. “I need to say something. I need them to know. They were all outside… I- I didn't like it.”

“You’re right then, you need to address this. They know you, Lou. It’s got to be you, is that okay?” He nodded and sighed, resting his forehead against Harry’s still arm.

“Why hasn’t he woken up, Anne? It’s been four days. They said there was no brain bleed but… something doesn’t feel right. I just… I miss him so much. He’s my world, and I feel lost without him. I know he’s here right now, but he really isn’t. I just- I can’t-”

He started to sob and Anne hopped out of her chair and rounded the bed, getting onto her knees next to Louis and pulling him close, letting him cry it out. It broke her heart to see Louis so broken, and she shut her eyes, willing her son to wake up and put them all out of their misery.

“I went 26 years without him, Anne, and now I’ve found him I don’t ever want to be without him again. I knew I loved him, but this… this has made me realise how much he means to me. He’s a part of me, of Jacob. I want to grow old with him, I… I want children with him, to be his everything as much as he is mine. I can’t do this alone Anne, he can’t leave me-” he grabbed the back of Anne’s jumper as he cried loudly, finally letting go of every ounce of pain that had been building up inside of him.

When Anne left the room to go and fetch Louis a drink, he gently moved Harry’s arm and laid down on the hospital bed beside him. The wires had been removed from Harry’s chest now, his arm was in a splint, and his surgery for his broken leg had been completed, in a special dressing until it could be casted later. Louis rested his head on Harry’s broad and warm chest, throwing his arm across his waist and curling into Harry’s body.

“You have to come back to me, Harry. I don’t wanna do this without you, you promised me. You promised me when we got married you’d always be here, that you’d be with me forever. Don’t break that promise, Harry. I love you too much to ever think of saying goodbye… don’t break my heart. Baby. I need you, Jake needs you. Please come back to me… please.” He cried quietly into Harry’s side and when Anne came back, she stilled at the door before turning away, blinking quickly, trying to will the tears away.

The next thing Louis knew, he was being stirred awake by a hand on his shoulder.

“Lou? Come on, babe, you need to get up.” He looked over his shoulder to see his mum’s face, and he sighed, leaning to kiss Harry before he got up.

“I wanna stay with him.”

“I know babe, but you need a break, okay? Come and get a cuppa with me. Anne’s gone home for a while, let him rest.” Louis nodded reluctantly and carefully got off the bed, putting the blankets back over Harry’s still form, Louis whispering words of love into his husband’s ear as he did so.

They headed to the cafeteria together, and Louis took a seat while Jay fetched some drinks and something for Louis to eat. He knew he’d barely been eating since Harry had been admitted to the hospital thanks to the worry and he could already he’d lost weight, his usually snug jeans looser than they used to be. He accepted the tea with a grateful smile and took the lid off, blowing the liquid gently.

“How’s Jake doing? I’m going to pop home tonight and see him,” Louis said.

“He’s alright. Still waking up at night. I think he blames himself, Lou. He keeps saying if he hadn’t have wanted a ride, Harry would still be here. The way he’s talking… it’s like Harry’s not coming home. It’s heartbreaking, Louis. I don’t know what to do for him.”

“Shit,” Louis mumbled. He hated having to be separated from his boys, knowing whichever he was with would mean the other was alone. He was scared to leave Harry, scared that would be the moment something happened but at the same time, his son needed him. “I’ll come home and talk to him tonight. Perhaps I need to bring him back in, show him Harry’s still here? This- it’s a fucking nightmare, Mum. How did I go from being so happy to this living hell?” He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He spoke then in a quiet voice. “Why isn’t he coming back to me?”

“Give him time, darling. His body needs to heal, he’s been through a lot. He won’t want to leave you, you know that.” Louis nodded, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “Don’t doubt him, Lou. He needs you to be strong for him.”

“I know, I’m trying. But who’s going to be strong for me?” He rested his head in his hands and began to cry once more.

*****

**Official Statement**

_There has been much speculation over my husband Harry Styles' health since a picture was posted on Twitter a few days ago. It is with great reluctance I feel the need to confirm the situation thanks to these rumours._

_Harry was involved in an accident when taking our son for a bike ride. He was hit by a moving car, and is currently in hospital receiving the very best care from the NHS staff._

_This is an incredibly difficult time for our family, and we would all appreciate being left alone to look after Harry at this time, and for our privacy to be respected. It is unfair to us and the other patients and their families at the hospital if we are continually surrounded._

_We appreciate your concern and well-wishes. I will be making no further statements at this time._

_Thank you._

_Louis Tomlinson._

*****

Four hours later, Louis was back at the hospital. He’d spent some time with Jacob while Robin had sat with Harry, and the evening was drawing in. He’d drafted a statement with his Mum and put it online with a link to Harry’s website, where he’d asked Harry’s team to post it. There had been a massive influx of tweets of support since, and Louis had locked himself in the bathroom at Jay’s to cry as he read them.

Now, though, he had to be strong for his husband again. He smiled at a few of the nurses as he walked through the ICU, pushing open Harry’s door. He went over and kissed Harry, greeting him as always before he pulled off his coat and toes off his shoes, leaving them on the floor by the bed. He clambered onto Harry’s bed as he always did, slipping under the cover and pushing their bodies together. At moments like this, it was easy to forget Harry was sick, and Louis shut his eyes, circling a fingertip over Harry’s hospital gown over his heart.

“Saw Jake tonight. He’s missing you so much. We both are. I still can’t go home, not without you. I want the next time I go there to be when I take you home.” He shifted slightly, smiling at a nurse who walked into to check Harry’s vitals. They’d long since given up trying to move Louis to his own bed, realising he needed to be with his husband. She soon left and closed the door behind her with a soft click, plunging the room into darkness.

Louis shut his eyes and had just started to drift off when he felt Harry’s body move against his. His eyes flew open, hoping to god that he was finally waking up but immediately, he knew something was wrong. Harry was jerking around, limbs stiff and Louis jumped up, smacking the emergency button on the wall. He stood back as the door to the room flew open and doctors piled in, one ushering him out as alarms started blaring.

“No - I need to be with him, please- Harry, oh my god-” One of the male nurses held Louis back, Louis’ back clamped to his chest as Louis fought against him, desperate to get to Harry.

“Louis - you need to let them look after him, you need to calm down.” All Louis could hear was shouts from the room, sounds of monitors now they’d clearly plugged Harry back in, and he gave up his fight. Louis slumped in his hold, watching nurses running in with various medications until silence reigned again. The nurse reluctantly let Louis go and he darted through the open door, staring at the doctors, needing to know.

“Is he-”

“He’s okay, Louis. He had a seizure, probably due to the head trauma. We were expecting this, and were able to get it under control relatively quickly. He’ll need to stay hooked up to the monitors tonight and we’ll be keeping a close eye on him.”

“Fuck. I thought… I thought-” Louis bit back a sob and the doctor stepped over, resting a hand on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing gently.

“He’s a fighter, Louis. He’s fighting his way back to you, I’m sure of it.” The doctor slipped quietly away, the lights dimming to the ones just above Harry’s bed. Louis gently sat next down to Harry, taking his hand and stroking the soft skin before bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently.

“Don’t keep scaring me, Haz. Please. I love you so much. Come back to me.” He fell asleep in the chair like that, slumped over the edge of the bed, hand in Harry’s, dreaming of happier times, hoping that he’d have many more to look forward to.

*****

A pain ran across Louis’ back as he stirred from a fitful sleep. He’d just managed to fall asleep during the night when nurses and doctors bustled in, monitoring Harry, and he’d probably only managed a few hours altogether. He kept his eyes shut and winced.. He stroked back at the thumb that was rubbing gently over the back of his own hand, nuzzling into the touch.

His eyes flew open as he realised what he was doing, and he sat, ignoring the searing pain across his lower back. The room was bathed in a soft glow seeping in from the lit corridors outside, and Harry was still on his back, eyes shut. Louis looked down at their hands, wondering if he was imagining the touch, that his brain was tricking him, making him think Harry had come back to him.

Nothing. He sighed and sat back down, picking up his phone and scrolling through Twitter, liking a few tweets, thanking people who were sending positive messages to himself and Harry. He text his mum making sure Jacob was okay, promising to pop by again later, needing a shower and a home cooked meal inside him. He knew Anne was coming by later with Robin.

He was just texting his mother-in-law when he stilled, holding his breath. He hadn’t mistaken that sound. Slowly, he raised his eyes, locking at long last with Harry’s beautiful green ones.

“Lou?”


	38. Please Forgive Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry begins his slow recovery. Louis takes care of his husband. Problems arise with Jacob, and Harry and Louis try to help as best they can...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manips used within belong to their owners!

Louis didn't dare to breath, or even move. All he could hear was his heart racing and the whooshing of blood around his ears. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

“Lou? Where am I? What’s going on- owwww-” Harry rasped out, his voice weak and strained after almost a week of not being used. “Lou?”

“Oh my god,” Louis whispered, sitting up straight, staring at his husband, finally conscious and talking to him. “Harry, baby, I’m here, you’re okay my darling.” Without realising, he started to cry, entirely overwhelmed that Harry was finally awake and apparently coherent. He felt Harry’s finger wiping his tears away and took a deep breath, trying to collect himself, knowing he needed to keep it together as Harry would have lots of questions.

“Louis? Am I in hospital? What happened?” Harry looked a bit scared and Louis hurried to get up onto the hospital bed, holding Harry close to his body for a minute. “Lou, I’m scared, please talk to me. Jake… where’s Jake? Is he okay?”

Harry was panicking now, and his monitors were starting to beep rapidly, and Louis knew he had to calm him down. “Hey, baby, he’s fine. He’s at Mum’s, missing you but he’s physically fine. You… you were in an accident, love. Someone knocked you off your bike when you were out with Jake. That was six days ago now. You’ve-” His breath hitched as the reality of the situation hit him all over again. “You’ve been in a coma since then. I’ve never been so scared Haz- you… you remember me though, yeah? I had this horrible fear you’d wake up and not know who I was, or remember us getting married or anything.”

Harry pulled Louis closer then, realising how emotional his husband was, and they laid there together, hearts pounding together as they finally embraced, having missed out on a week of contact, which for a tactile couple like them was torture.

“I could never forget you, Lou. You’re the one who makes my life worth living, you and our boy. You don’t have to be scared anymore, sweetheart. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” Harry comforted Louis, running his fingers through Louis’ hair. “Fucking hell, my leg hurts…” He looked down, a bit alarmed by the large plaster cast from his ankle up to the top of his thigh. “Holy shit. What did I do?”

“You broke it, pretty bad. You had surgery and now it’s been casted. That’s gotta stay on for a good few weeks yet, but they said you don’t have to stay in hospital the whole time. They’ll let you come home with me when you’re ready. God, I’ve missed you so much. Can I-”

“Can you what, love?”

“Can I kiss you? Please?” Harry smiled and nodded, bringing his hands up to cup Louis’ face. They stared at each other for a moment before Louis finally leaned in, pressing their lips together so gently. To Louis, it felt like coming home, and there was no better feeling in the world. It was nothing more than a brush of lips for now, but that was enough. As Harry closed his eyes and lost himself in Louis, the door opened.

“Oh, Mr Tomlinson, you’re awake! Oh gosh, I’m sorry…” the nurse said, realising she was interrupting. “Let me grab the doctor and we’ll be back to do an exam, okay?” Louis blushed and pulled away from the kiss, still staying wrapped in Harry’s arms. They were given another few moments alone before Doctor Graham, one of the doctors Louis had come to know over the past week came in, a big smile on her face.

“Good to see you awake, Mr Tomlinson-”

“Harry, please,” Harry said. As much as he loved his married name, it felt too formal at that moment and he wanted to feel like Harry again. “Yes, awake at last… apparently Lou has been waiting a while…”

“Never seen such a dedicated husband. He’s barely left your side,” the doctor said as she checked Harry’s monitors. Harry glanced up at Louis, heart hurting as he watched his husband wipe away yet more tears. “Do you mind if I do a quick exam? Louis, you can step outside-”

“No!” Harry quickly said. “Please stay, Lou? Nothing you haven’t seen before anyway…” Louis nodded and stepped closer, taking Harry’s hand as they slid his gown off, checking all his wounds. “Well, I’m glad to see my dick hasn’t fallen off, anyway…” Louis burst out laughing at that, and bent over, kissing Harry quickly. 

“Oh my god, Haz. You’ve got a broken leg, loads of cuts and bruises, you’ve been in a coma for nearly a week and your main concern is your dick? Glad to see the bump on your head hasn’t changed you.”

The doctor covered Harry back up and peeled off some of the pads stuck to Harry’s chest, happy that he was now entirely awake and lucid, that he no longer needed the extra monitoring.

“Okay, all seems fine to me. I’ll sort out some plain food for you, start getting those energy levels up. We’ll be looking to get you into physio in a few days, help you with a few strengthening exercises and to get you used to the crutches and wheelchair you’ll need for a few weeks until that cast comes off. You’ll remain on the pain meds regimen you’re on at the moment, but other than that, you seem fine which is excellent news, Harry. Please feel free to invite your family in, I know your mother and father have spent many hours here and will be happy to see you.”

“Can my son come in? I mean, I don’t know if you let kids in here…” He tailed off, feeling a bit sick at the thought of Jacob worrying about him, wanting nothing more than a cuddle with his boy. 

“Of course he can. Louis is still allowed to stay beyond visiting hours, but everyone else will have to stick to the scheduled hours. I’ll leave you two to it.” They both thanked the doctor before she left, and Louis grabbed his phone from the side table, opening up his messages. He was surprised when Harry put his hand over the display, stopping him from his texts.

“Can we surprise them? Have them come here and just see me?” Harry’s hopeful smile lit up Louis’ heart and he nodded.

“I have to text Mum though, get Jake here first. I won’t tell her, but I need to say something so she knows to get him here now.” It was early enough that they wouldn’t have left for school yet, and Louis wanted to get in there before Jay left on the school run, thinking the school would more than excuse a day off for Jacob’s dad finally waking up from his coma. 

“Okay, they’re on their way.” Louis cuddled up to Harry again, smiling at the nurse who brought Harry in a breakfast tray with two pieces of toast and a cup of water. “Thank you, Lisa.” She smiled and left them to it. Louis helped with the table and put it over Harry’s lap, careful to avoid his broken leg as he sat back down next to his husband, watching him devour the food. “God, it’s so good to see you eat again.”

Harry grinned, mouthful of toast. “Do you reckon I can get dressed at some point?”

“Oh yeah, let me ask the doctor. I’ve got some of your stuff in a bag over there, wasn’t sure when you’d wake up so it’s been waiting for you…” Harry saw Louis’ bottom lip wobble then, and he finished his toast as Louis left the room, and frowned when he came back brandishing a pair of scissors. “Right, you can get dressed but your boxers might be a struggle thanks to the cast so I might have to cut the leg hole first. They’re gonna come and take the catheter out in a minute then I can sort you out.”

Harry winced at the thought, and watched as Louis cleared away the tray table, going to the bag and fetching a baggy t shirt and some shorts and underwear for Harry. “This feels so weird. I can’t remember anything, you know. I remember Jacob getting upset about his homework at home but after that, it’s all a blank until waking up this morning with you.” 

The nurse came in then and made quick work of removing Harry’s catheter, Louis turning away, thinking that was something not even he needed to see happen. Afterwards, she shut the door and Louis closed the blinds at the windows, giving them some privacy.

Harry shrugged off the hideous hospital gown, leaving him bare on the bed. Louis openly stared, but instead of the usual lust and desire he had in his eyes when Harry was naked, there was something else behind his stare. “You’re okay, aren’t you?“ He said softly, running his hands down Harry’s bare torso, stopping at the top of his leg cast. “Fuck Haz, I really thought I was gonna lose you-”

“Don’t, Lou. I’m here, and I’m alright. No need to worry anymore. I’m really sorry I scared you, love. You know I’d never choose to leave you though, right? If something had happened to me, it wouldn’t have been because I wanted to say goodbye to you. You know I wanna grow old with you, go and get our pensions together, use our bus passes…”

Louis chuckled at the thought of Harry using a bus pass and leaned in to kiss him, hands on his chest, mindful of the few scrapes still on his skin. “I love you, Harry Tomlinson. Don’t you fucking dare scare me like that again, okay?” Harry nodded, and watched as Louis reached to the end of the bed and picked up his black Calvin Klein boxers. Harry felt a bit helpless as Louis had to pretty much dress him, wriggling them up his legs and over his butt, pinging the elastic at last into place at his waist. He held out a t-shirt which Harry put on himself, wincing at the twinge of pain in his wrist but finally, he felt decent. They’d decided not to bother with shorts, a sheet covering Harry’s legs anyway.

Louis bustled around for a few moments, grabbing a hair brush and sorting out Harry’s rather matted mop of curls, and handed him a can of deodorant, letting him freshen up. “Do you reckon I can have a shower or anything?” Harry asked as he blasted his underarms with deodorant, hating the fact he probably hadn’t had a wash in a week or so. Usually, he and Louis were pretty keen on daily showers, shared if possible.

“I dunno… if not, I’d be more than happy to assist with a bed bath…” Louis said with a smirk, and Harry just rolled his eyes. Louis’ phone rumbled across the bedside table, and Harry took a sip from the cup of water on his bedside, wincing at how lukewarm it was. “Okay, they’re here. You ready for this?”

Harry nodded but looked nervous.

“Hey. It’s gonna be okay, yeah? He’s going to be so happy to see you, so are Mum and Anne and everyone else. You don’t know how desperate we’ve been to see you, sweetheart.” They kissed again for a minute before Louis slipped out of the room, heading for the main doors of the ICU, buzzing them through.

“Daddy!” Jacob called, running at Louis and jumping into his open arms. Louis was pleased to see his son was pretty cheerful today, still dressed in his school uniform but with a smile rather than the frown that had been stuck on his face since Harry’s accident. “Why did we have to come here? I’m missing assembly…” he said with wide eyes, looking surprised he was allowed to miss school.

“Well,” Louis said, locking eyes with his Mum, her eyes widening as she twigged what was going on. “I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you.” Jacob pulled back and looked at Louis. “Wanna go and see?” He nodded and Louis set off down the corridor, Jacob still in his arms. He smiled at some of the staff and paused outside Harry’s room. “Ready, baby?”

They stepped inside and Jacob gasped as he saw Harry sitting up in bed, a big broad smile across his face at the sight of his son after a week. It was a sight for sore eyes, and Louis saw Harry getting all tearful. Instead of Jacob jumping down and running to Harry though, he buried his face in Louis’ neck, squeezing tightly. Louis walked over to the bed and perched on the edge next to Harry, trying to calm both Harry and Jacob wordlessly.

“Jake, love?” Harry said, gently reaching out a hand and taking the little boy’s in his own, rubbing back and forth. “Sweetheart, I am so, so happy to see you. You look like you’ve grown already… my beautiful big boy.” Jacob looked up then, and Louis was shocked to see the tears in his eyes. Slowly he clambered from Louis’ lap and sat down next to Harry on his knees.

Carefully, he put his hands up, resting his palms on Harry’s cheeks and he just stared at him for a minute. He ran his fingers over the cuts and grazes on Harry’s face before he picked his wrist up, turning it over carefully as he looked at the splint. Finally, he moved the sheet away and looked down at Harry’s cast, like he was trying to assess him, make sense of it all in his little mind.

“Dad?” he whispered and Harry nodded. Finally, Jacob surged forwards into Harry’s open arms, and Louis watched with a lump in his throat as Harry cried silently, holding on tightly to his son, never wanting to let go. “I thought I had hurt you so bad you weren’t ever gonna come home,” Jacob whispered again, and Louis’ heart broke at his honesty.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily, darling,” Harry joked, stroking Jacob’s head. He longed to pull him into his lap but thanks to the cast, that was a no-go at the moment. “Have you been a good boy for Nanny Jay?” Jacob nodded almost shyly, playing with Harry’s fingers that were now in his lap.

“Does your leg hurt lots?” The little boy asked, hand delving under the covers to touch Harry’s cast.

“A little, but not too bad,” Harry answered, thinking honesty was the best policy. “The doctors give me lots of good medicine to stop it hurting too much. Hey, you want to be the first one to sign my cast soon?” Jacob smiled and nodded, his fingers still tracing up and down the rough plaster surface. “How’s school been? You been making me a proud Dad while I’ve been asleep?”

Jacob nodded again with a smile and started to tell Harry all about his week, what he’d been learning about, and how he had gone to his first special meeting as Form Captain with the other form captains, Harry listening intently. Jacob shuffled closer to Harry the more he spoke, and eventually, he was curled up at his side, his head resting on Harry’s chest. Harry’s arm was draped around him, and they seemed comfortable together again.

Jay and Louis now stood in the doorway, wanting to give them a few minutes alone.

“How is he? Everything okay?”  Jay asked as they watched Harry and Jacob talk, the little boy still not fully looking at Harry. 

“Yeah, the doctors said all seems okay. He ate a bit of breakfast. He’s really sore so he’s on lots of meds still, and we’ve got things like physio to do before we can think about him coming home but… fuck. I’m just so bloody glad he’s awake Mum, and he remembers me, and Jake. I was so scared that I’d lost him…” He looked up at Harry who winked at him, and a sense of peace ran through Louis as he realised that yes, everything was going to be okay.

Jacob and Jay stayed for a little while longer until Harry started to tire, and they’d reluctantly left, promising to visit again soon. Louis and Harry had fallen asleep curled up together on his bed again, the nurses quietly monitoring Harry but letting the husbands sleep until Anne came in, disturbing the peace when she saw Harry free of his monitors and in a different to the one he’d been laid in all week.

“Oh my god, Harry?!” Harry stirred from his sleep, and half sat up, Louis still propped on his chest as he smiled at her. She burst into tears, covering her face with her hands which is what woke Louis up, and he quickly kissed Harry before making his way to Anne to comfort her.

“He’s okay, Anne. He’s fine.” He led her over to the bed where she wrapped her arms around her son, finally getting the hug she’d been wanting all week. Harry was again emotional, hating that he’d put his family through so much hurt and pain. They sat and talked for a long while, Louis only leaving to grab them all cups of tea from the cafeteria, and he was so happy to see Anne cuddled up to Harry when he returned, his husband sound asleep on the bed. Anne stood up, stroking Harry’s hair out of his eyes and kissed her son softly before hugging Louis, promising to be back with Robin in a short while.

Louis smiled to himself, watching his husband sleep, relief flooding his veins that this time, he knew Harry would be awake within a matter of hours. Everything felt right with the world again, and he could feel the weight that he been on his shoulders finally start to lift. Everything was going to be okay.

*****

It was a few days later that things started to unravel slightly. Harry had found sleeping difficult thanks to his cast, and he’d insisted that now he was awake and okay, that Louis go home, or at least to Anne’s or Jay’s to sleep, telling him that curled up on the edge of a hospital bed really wasn’t ideal. Louis had taken the chance to do so, and had slept like a log after his Mum cooked him a roast dinner, sleeping from 8pm through the morning, when Jay had woken him up to take Jacob to school, the little boy keen for his dad to drop him off again.

Louis had taken advantage of being back at school to pop in and see the headteacher, catching her up with how Harry was, saying he couldn’t say yet when he’d be back. Luckily, she was completely understanding, and told him to take all the time he needed. He told her he didn't expect to be paid, insisting he took it as unpaid leave, and he knew that thanks to Harry, the money for once wasn’t going to be an issue for him. He’d stopped back at the hospital with a bag of clean clothes for Harry, as well as a few books, his journal and other things his husband had requested to help stave off the boredom.

“So I asked the nurses about a shower,” Louis began as he took the books out of his bag and put them on Harry’s lap, letting him look through Louis’ choices. He stuck his laptop on charge so Harry could go through Twitter and Instagram, take a look at the amazing multitude of comments and posts he’d had since his accident. “No go, I’m afraid baby, cos of the cast. But…. I can give you a quick wash in the bathroom, they said there’s a bath seat you can sit on?”

“Fuck’s sake,” Harry mumbled. “Hate this. Just want to go home and have a proper shower with you, not this shit show that I’m in right now.” Harry had been uncharacteristically grumpy for the past day or so, and Louis tried to ignore it, knowing it was just his pain and frustration of being stuck in a bed 24/7, very unlike Harry. “But yeah, if you don’t mind, Lou, that’d be good. I feel really gross.”

“You don’t look it,” Louis said, leaning in to kiss Harry. “And of course I don’t mind. I wouldn’t say no to a chance at seeing you naked.” He tweaked Harry’s nipple over his t-shirt making him squeak, and Harry hissed in pain as he jolted from the spark of pleasure. “Shit, sorry babe.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry said, grinning at him. “Makes me forget all this shite if I’m honest.” He indicated down to his leg. “Can we do that bath now? I wanna freshen up before Jake comes after school, and I know the physio woman is coming in later to do a bit of an assessment with me, see what needs doing before they’ll think about letting me home.”

“You do know you’re in here for a bit, right?” Louis said, biting his lip, worried at Harry’s reaction. “Your leg is pretty bad, they want you at least standing steady and stuff before they’ll think about letting you go.” He watched Harry nod and sigh.

“I just wanna come home. I miss our bed, our house. I miss getting Jake from school, and cooking you guys dinner. I took it all for granted before, I really did. This hospital thing is shit, Lou.” He sat up and carefully turned his body, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. His broken leg throbbed but he ignored as Louis stood in front of him, holding his hands out for Harry to take as he stood, stabilising himself. Harry held on as Louis grabbed the edge of the wheelchair, bringing it closer and helping Harry twist his way into it before he pushed him out of the room. 

“Oh, hold on,” Louis said, suddenly parking Harry at the side of a corridor and dashing back to the room. He returned a few seconds later with Harry’s toiletry bag and a towel, shoving them onto Harry’s lap before heading back where they were going. He pushed Harry into the bathroom and locked the door, turning on the taps and filling the room with steam. “Okay, get naked, Styles.”

“Tomlinson, Lou,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes as he pulled off his shirt, gently removing the splint from his wrist. The nurses had told him the other day it was okay to remove it for washing, and Harry was glad for the reprieve. It was itchy, and he already looked forward to getting that and the cast off asap. Louis applied the brakes of the chair and helped Harry stand, pulling his underwear down until Harry was naked, and he helped him hop quickly to the bath and onto the seat. Harry set his feet into the shallow warm water Louis had run and sighed peacefully. “God, that’s nice.”

Louis smiled at him as he grabbed the shower gel, shampoo and razor from Harry’s toiletry bag, setting them on the side. He sat on the edge of the bath, running his fingers up and down Harry’s back. It was an intimate moment somehow, the two of them alone, Harry trusting Louis to take care of him, and it was all Louis had wanted since Harry’s accident. “Okay, ready for a wash?”

Harry nodded, and suddenly felt a bit self-conscious, knowing he was totally reliant on Louis to help, that he was pretty useless at the moment. He brought his hands down to cup himself, and Louis frowned, gently pulling them away and kissing Harry’s lips softly.

“Hey, don’t. Don’t be shy with me, sweetheart. I’m your husband, okay? I know this is a bit shit, but I want to do this, I want to take care of you. Please let me? I won’t do anything you don’t want me to-”

“Sorry, no, it’s fine,” Harry said in reply, kissing back. “Just feels a bit weird, being taken care of like this, I mean.” Louis just smiled as he grabbed the special plastic bag the nurses had given him and he helped lift Harry’s legs, sliding it over his cast. He taped it up at the top and bottom before he grabbed the shower attachment and letting the water cascade down Harry’s bare back. He tilted Harry’s head back gently and washed his hair, careful to keep the shampoo from his eyes, and he smiled when Harry shut his eyes, losing himself in Louis taking care of him, at finally getting clean. 

Louis used a flannel to scrub at some of the dried blood in his hairline and on his shoulder, gentle around the grazed skin, and he washed Harry’s body gently. He knew that realistically, Harry could probably manage this bit on his own, but he wanted to help, and it seemed Harry was happy enough to let him. Louis locked eyes with Harry before he washed his private parts, Harry nodding and shuffling to the edge of the seat, giving Louis better access. There was nothing sexual in it at all, and Harry was happy he didn't mind Louis doing this, being so vulnerable for his husband. He couldn’t help the squeak that slipped from his lips as Louis’ hand delved between his cheeks, cleaning him there, and they both laughed for a few seconds, breaking the tension somewhat.

Finally, Harry asked Louis to give him a shave. Louis handed over the razor but Harry shook his head.

“It’s my right wrist that’s busted, Lou. I don’t want to cut my face to shreds, can you?” Louis smiled and nodded again, foaming up Harry’s face before he started to gently and carefully drag the blade down his husband’s cheeks, rinsing it off under the sink tap next to them. He wiped him off after with a flannel, kissing his now soft cheeks. “Lou?”

“Hmm?” Louis said, turning and rinsing the razor before putting it back into Harry’s bag, and he grabbed the soft, fluffy towel he’d brought from home. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Um, I just wanted to thank you, for this? For looking after me so well. I’d be stuck with some nurse gawping at me if you weren’t here so… yeah. Thank you. And I love you, more than I can ever say.” Louis teared up again and wrapped the towel around Harry’s shoulders, letting him lean into him, holding him tight. 

“I love you too, you silly thing. Of course I’m here, and of course I’m going to look after you. That’s what a marriage is, right? For better or for worse.”

Harry frowned. “Are you trying to say giving me a bath is for worse, Louis?”

Louis laughed at that, and helped Harry swing his wet feet out onto the floor, starting to dry his bare body now covered in goosebumps, chilly in the cool air of the bathroom. “Could never say anything to do with you naked is for worse, love.” They chatted as Louis dried him, helping him into his clothes before sitting Harry back in the wheelchair and heading back for his room. The physio was waiting for him when they returned, and was pleased to see Harry up and about, watching how the pair moved together to get Harry around. She seemed impressed, and Louis slipped off to use the toilet while her and Harry chatted.

The physio left shortly after, promising to return the next day to show Harry some exercise, and Louis had had to turn away to stop himself from laughing at Harry’s false enthusiasm, Louis able to read him like a book by now.

“Um, Lou?” Harry called once she’d left. Louis stepped over, picking up the computer and stashing it on the shelf under the bedside table. “I was wondering how you felt about me posting something to Twitter about being okay? I saw your statement, that was amazing, thank you for doing that. But I think now I’d like the fans to know I’m okay, if that’s alright with you?”

“It’s your decision love, if you want to, I don’t mind,” Louis said, pulling out his phone to take a quick photo. Harry shook his head and pulled Louis closer, snatching the phone himself and held it out at an arm’s distance, grinning broadly, pleased he looked like himself. The angle of his head meant his cuts were hidden, and they both smiled widely into the camera, Harry snapping a few pictures to make sure they had a good one.

They sat together and flicked through them, picking out a couple of photos, Harry finally deciding on one. He opened his Twitter app and composed a tweet, getting the okay from Louis before he posted it. He kept his phone open for a minute, reading a few of the lovely comments from fans, liking a couple of them before Louis made him put his phone down, kissing him softly. Harry moaned into the kiss a bit, hating that he was deprived from affection from his husband, and they snuggled together for a minute. 

Louis had just put his own phone down on the table when his phone buzzed again, and Harry handed it over while Louis looked at the screen. His heart fell at his mum’s words, and he went over to Harry, explaining he had to go and get Jake and he’d be back later. He kissed him, not caring about the physio watching them both and went out to the car park, making the short drive to Jay’s before letting himself in the front door.

“Mum?”  he called as he stepped inside, kicking off his Vans. “Where is he?”

“Hey, love,” Jay said, her voice sounding a little weary now. “He’s upstairs in his room. I’m sorry I had to get you to come but he’s adamant he’s not going.”

Louis sighed and rubbed his palms over his face. “God, okay. I’ll go and talk to him. I know he’s still feeling bad but I thought once Harry woke up and he saw he was okay that he’d be fine again. Guess not, huh?” Jay stepped over and hugged Louis, holding his biceps as she looked at him with her ‘mum-look’ for a second.

“Lou, you holding up okay? I know this has been hard on you too-”

“Mum, I’m fine. I’m fine now he’s awake, I promise. Helped him with a bath this morning, poor thing. It’s like having a six foot baby to take care of.” They both laughed at that, and Jay hugged her son again before releasing him, Louis trudging up the stairs to where Jacob had been sleeping for the past week. He already couldn’t wait to get his boys home.

Louis knocked on the door, and pressed the handle down. “Jake? It’s Daddy. I’m coming in, okay love?” There was no objection so Louis walked in, immediately spotting his son stomach down on his bed. “Hey, babe.”

Jacob rolled over and gave Louis a half smile. “Hey Daddy.” Louis went over and sat down, stroking his son’s bare calf, sticking out of the bottom of his football shorts. “How is Dad?”

“He’s good. Getting up and about a bit more. He can’t wait to come home soon, he misses you so much,” Louis said, working a smile from his son. “So, why don’t you want to come and see him today?” Jacob just shrugged, dropping his gaze back to his pillow, rolling onto his side. “Dad wants to see you so much, you know? He hates being stuck there away from us. Please come and see him?”

“Does he want to see me still?” Jacob asked in a small voice, and Louis hated that Jacob felt that way.

“Of course he does, more than anything. He got me to help him have a bath this morning so he could look nice for you!” Jacob giggled at that, and Louis smiled back.

“You had to give Daddy a bath?! Like you did for me when I was little?”

“Yep!” Jacob giggled again, and came up to hug Louis. “He needs lots of help at the moment, and I’m sure when he comes home, you’re going to be a super helper aren’t you?” Jacob nodded and jumped up, grabbing some socks from the floor and wrestling them onto his feet before grabbing the Vans Harry had bought him a few weeks ago. “You want to come and see him then?” 

Louis held Jacob’s hand as they walked down the stairs together, Jay with a relieved smile on her face when she saw Jacob was ready to go. 

“Have fun, and say hi to your Dad for me. Tell him I’ll be in soon, Lou.” Louis nodded and took Jacob outside to the car, wanting to leave before Jacob could change his mind again. He strapped him in and before they set off, he turned and went to give his son a smile, feeling sad instead when all he saw was Jacob staring out of the window, a far away look in his eyes.

*****

Harry sat nervously on the bed. He’d had a text from Louis saying they were on their way, and he felt inexplicably nervous about Jacob coming to see him, especially since they hadn’t spent much time together since Harry had woken up a couple of days ago. He had a sip of water, making sure his throat wasn’t too dry and smoothed out the t-shirt Louis had picked for him earlier. He wanted to look as normal as he could for Jacob, and even had his legs out of the sheet, cast proudly on display so Jacob could be the first to sign it later on.

He looked at the doorway as he heard footsteps coming up the corridor, and he held his breath as two familiar figures stood there, Louis grinning at him. Jacob, though, had his head buried in Louis’ side, hand clutched in Louis’ and refused to move. Louis bent down in front of him for a minute, the pair whispering together. Harry’s heart fell as he saw Jacob violently shaking his head, gaze still on the floor and he decided to look away, not wanting to pressure his son.

Eventually, the bed dipped and Harry looked up, grinning at his beautiful son. He was sat on the edge, legs dangling down and he wasn’t looking at Harry. 

“I’m going to go and get us all some lunch from the cafeteria. I’ll be back soon,” Louis called. Harry felt a little afraid at that, knowing that if Jacob ran away or something, he’d never be able to go after him but at the same time, he understood what Louis was trying to do. The only way this would work is if Jacob would talk to Harry, and leaving them alone gave that the best chance at happening.

“God, I’ve missed you, love,” Harry said, reaching out a hand and resting it on Jacob’s thigh, not wanting to push for too much, too soon. “Is that the football kit we got the other week? You look so cool, I bet you can’t wait to start football club at school.”

“Yeah, we start next Tuesday,” Jacob said quietly, eyes flicking up to meet Harry’s for a moment before dropping back to the floor. Harry wriggled a bit and leaned over, digging around in his bedside table and grabbing the bag of Haribo Louis had snuck in for him when he needed something sweet. Harry silently wafted the packet in Jacob’s direction, and the boy shook his head, refusing a sweet. Harry sighed and sat it back down on his bedside table and decided to just go for it.

He grabbed Jacob under the arms and pulled him up, sitting him next to him against the pillow and he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, wanting Jacob to feel comforted and that he could talk to him about anything.

“Why don’t you hate me?” Jacob said so quietly, that if Harry wasn’t listening as intently as he was, he’d have certainly missed it. 

“Why don’t I- what? Hate you? Jacob, I could never hate you. I love you, you’re my son. Why do you think that?” Harry sniffed, trying to hold back the tears he could already feel burning at the back of his throat.

“I made you get hurt. If I didn't want a ride, you would never have got hurt by the car. You nearly died and left us and it would have been my fault. You hate me and I know that but it makes me sad and it makes me feel sick-”

“Oh god, oh love,” Harry said, pulling Jacob closer, the little boy still trying to wriggle away. “What happened was not your fault. Not at all. It was a complete accident. Nobody knew that car was coming, nobody could ever have known I was going to get hurt. You know how much I love our rides together, our special time we have on our own…” he tailed off, desperate for Jacob to look at him now.

“I was so scared.” Jacob was whispering now, tears falling down his cheeks, and it broke Harry’s heart. “When you didn't wake up. I touched you and I called your name and you didn't move. I called Daddy because I thought- I thought you were dead and it was my fault.” Harry went to talk but quickly shut his mouth when Jacob carried on talking, finally letting his words flow freely. “Then I thought if you were dead because of me that Daddy would hate me too because he loves you so much. You make us both so happy and I was really frightened that you were gone forever. You’re the best dad in the whole world and I don’t want to ever lose you-”

He sobbed, and despite his pain, Harry pulled Jacob into his lap, letting his son cry into his chest, rubbing his back, shushing him. Harry could see Louis was stood in the doorway, listening and taking everything in and he appreciated how his husband was hanging back, knowing that for the minute, he needed to deal with this alone.

“Sweetheart, listen to me, please. I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. I couldn’t ever do either of those things. You’re my son, and I love you more than anyone else in the world. Daddy would never hate you, either. Please, Jacob, I want you to stop blaming yourself. I understand that you feel bad, and that’s okay, I can’t imagine how scary it must have been. But you know what else?”

“What?” Jacob sniffed, and Harry hooked his fingers under his chin, their eyes meeting properly for the first time, and Harry shuddered at how it felt like he was looking into Louis’ eyes for a moment. 

“I am so unbelievably proud of you. You’re only seven years old, and you saw something horrible, but you were so, so brave. You remembered to phone Daddy, you told him where we were and to get help. I couldn’t do that, and you did it for me. So… really Jake, it was you.”

“What was me?” The little boy had a confused expression now, and Harry took his hands in his, holding on tightly.

“You saved me,” Harry said softly, and Jacob sniffed again, eyes wide. “You saved my life, darling. If you weren’t there, I might not have gotten any help. But you, you helped me. You got Daddy, and he got me to hospital. You’re my hero, Jake, and I will never be able to say thank you enough. I love you, and I’m so proud of you, and I am the luckiest Dad in the world to call you my son.”

They were both crying now, and Louis took that as his cue to step back into the room, setting down the bags of food he’d got on the table to the side of the room before he stepped over, wrapping his arms around his crying boys. They stayed like that for a while, nobody wanting to let go.

“Jake, Lou,” Harry got out, his voice low and raspy from his tears. “I need to say sorry, too. I’m sorry for scaring you, for making you think I was never coming home. You have to know I would never, ever want to leave you both. You’re my world, the pair of you, and you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. I want us to be a family forever, to…. god, to be together always. Please forgive me, both of you, for ever making you think I was going anywhere. I’m here to stay, right by your side.”

“We know,” Louis whispered, wiping his own tears away now, mind racing with thoughts at a million miles an hour. He pushed those aside, thinking he had to talk to Harry alone, that it was important Harry understood how serious he was. “And we love you so much, Haz. That’s why we were so scared.”

“I won’t scare you again,” Harry vowed, holding one of Louis’ hands and one of Jacob’s hands now. “You two are my everything.” Jacob shuffled off Harry’s lap so he was on one side of him, and Louis moved so he was against Harry on the other side. Louis and Jacob rested their heads on Harry’s chest, his big arms around them both, holding him close. Right then, Harry felt more at home than he had in weeks. He was okay, he had his boys, he was loved, and he loved fiercely in return. He knew then that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for these two boys, his family. Nothing could ever, or would ever, mean more.


	39. Look After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry begins to get frustrated in hospital, and Jacob starts to get back to himself thanks to his dads. Finally, the Tomlinson’s get some good news...

“Well done babe, that was really good,” Louis said as he watched Harry heave himself out of the wheelchair and back into the hospital bed. He was sweating a bit and Louis tried to ignore the bulge of Harry’s muscles in his arms thanks to the sleeveless t-shirt he was wearing. He cleared his throat and went back to pouring Harry a cup of water, handing it to his husband with a quick kiss.

“Lou, I could have done that with my eyes shut before all this shit,” Harry said, frustration lacing his tone. “I can’t believe how hard everything is with this stupid cast on my leg. And I’ve got to put up with this crap for another 6 weeks or whatever.” He rolled his eyes and drank down the entire glass of water, thrusting the glass at Louis for a refill when he was done. Louis topped it up and Harry made quick work of drinking that one down too, sighing when he was done. “What time is Jay bringing Jake around?”

“Um, in about half an hour?” Louis said, checking the time on his phone. “Why?”

“Cos I stink and I need a shower,” Harry said, sniffing his underarms and wrinkling his nose at the smell. “It fucking sucks I can’t even do that by myself any more.”

“Oh, bloody cheer up,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. Harry had woken up a week ago now, and his bad mood had been getting steadily worse each day, to the point where Louis had walked out of the room a few times, determined not to argue with his poorly husband, thinking taking a break was certainly preferable to a shouting match. He’d been moved out of the ICU and was now on a general ward, albeit in a side room. The privacy was good, but Louis was still aware their loud voices carried, and he didn't want the world privy to their arguments.

“Oh, sorry dear. Sorry I’m in a pissy mood because I’m stuck in this shitty cast, I can’t get even go for a piss without help, I can’t walk, I can’t-” he was cut off by Louis pressing his lips to his, a sure fire way to stop Harry talking. When Louis pulled away, Harry had his hands on his hips and was staring at Louis. “What was that for?”

“Needed to shut you up, put your lips to better use,” Louis smirked, and Harry just grabbed the clothes and washbag Louis had left on the bed for him, carefully lowering himself back into the wheelchair again. “Now, let’s go and get you washed before our son comes. And cheer up before he does, he doesn’t need his dad to be stroppy.”

“I won’t be, not for him,” Harry reassured Louis as he was pushed in the direction of his little private bathroom. Louis put the brakes on before he turned and locked the door, turning on the taps of the bath and the shower attachment, Harry making quick work of shedding his clothes. Louis set out the toiletries on the side of the bath, helping lift Harry from his chair to the special seat in the bath before wrapping his leg in the plastic again, protecting his cast from getting too wet.

The shower was a quick one, both of them aware the time was ticking away until Jacob was due and Harry just let Louis take charge, both of them fully used to this by now. They had the system down, and Harry was just glad he had Louis, and not some strange nurse coming to take care of his most personal needs. Harry tried to do something with his hair in the little mirror Louis handed him once he was dried and dressed, but instead just tied a headscarf around it, knowing he needed a haircut.

He was hopeful that he was going to be discharged fairly soon. The doctors seemed pleased with his progress so far, he was having short sessions of physio every day that were helping him with his balance with the cast on his leg, and with manoeuvering his wheelchair around. He could feel he was weak compared to before, and was already counting down the days to getting his cast off so he could get back to normal. His management team had paid him a visit and assured him everything was on hold, and Harry hated he was letting people down, instructing Louis to bring his guitar in to the ward so he could begin to write the song he’d promised Comic Relief he would write, and he was pleased with the start he had made.

He’d just settled onto the sofa in his room when he heard little footsteps thundering down the corridor, and Louis watched his eyes light up as Jacob burst into the room, a plastic bag swinging from his arm. He launched himself at Harry, still mindful of his dad’s broken leg, and Louis just felt happy Jacob was getting back to himself. He was still having nightmares about the accident but after the heart to heart with Harry a week ago, it seemed his guilt was alleviated slightly, and the relationship between Jacob and Harry was back to normal.

“Daddy, I missed you!” Jacob cried, hugging Harry tightly around the neck before pulling away and kissing all over his face, making Harry giggle. “Hey, guess what?! We went on that school trip today, and then on the way home Nanny took me to Tesco and I bought you some things, wanna see?!”

“I would love to see, babe, but tell me about your school trip first?” Louis walked over and kissed his son on the top of his head, Jacob looking at Louis with a big smile as he settled next to Harry on the sofa and began to talk to both of them. Jay appeared in the doorway and both Harry and Louis waved to her as she set down some more clean clothes for Harry that Louis had asked her to wash when he went home last night. He blew her a grateful kiss and listened to his son.

“We weren’t allowed to touch the animals cos of the germs, but they showed us how the milking machines worked, and then we walked around and we got to feed the baby animals with bottles and stuff! It was so super cool, even if it did stink of poo most of the day.” All the adults laughed at that, which made Jacob laugh too. “Can I give you your stuff now?”

Jacob reached down and grabbed the plastic bag from the floor and started pulling out things and handing them to Harry. “I know you like this magazine and Nanny said this was the new one so you can read it and not get bored. Um… some sweets for you cos you’re still being brave… and more sweets. And I liked this t-shirt cos I have one like it so we can match!” Jacob held it up with a big grin and Harry smiled back, heart full of love for his boy. He pulled him close and they hugged for a moment before Jacob carefully sat himself on Harry’s good leg, resting his head against his dad’s chest. “When are you coming home? I love being with Nanny Jay and Dan but I miss our house and I miss you, and you Daddy.”

“Soon, I hope, love,” Harry reassured him, running his fingers through Jacob’s hair, pleased he smelled like he’d had a nice bath at home rather than the farm he’d spent the day at with his classmates. “Lou, did you and Jay want to go off for a bit? Go and grab some food, I’ll stay here with Jake.”

“Oh! Yes, I bought my homework with me, will you help me Dad?” Harry nodded, pleased for a bit of normality, and Louis helped him over to the small table at one side of the room before he kissed Harry and left with Jay, leaving Jake and Harry alone again.

“How are you finding school, love?” Harry asked Jacob, aware that nothing had happened with the issue they’d had before his accident thanks to him being stuck in hospital. Harry had wanted Louis to go in about it, but Louis had said he’d wanted to wait until Harry could go in with him, wanting them both to tackle it together. Harry had noticed his spellings homework had gotten slightly easier last week, and a glance at this week’s words seemed that was still the case much to his relief.

“Um,” Jacob said, frowning down at the word problems for Maths he had to finish off. “Yeah, it’s okay. They moved my table, I have to sit with Fiona now which is cool cos she likes music and stuff like me.” The noise of his pencil scratching across the paper filled the room and when he was done, he pushed it over to Harry. “Is this right? Did I do it right?” Harry’s eyes roamed the paper and he nodded, filled with pride. Maths was definitely one of Jacob’s strong points, and Harry high-fived him.

“Yep, clever boy,” he said, watching as Jacob tucked the completed sheet away and pulled the spellings one closer. “Want me to test you on these?” Jacob nodded and Harry took the sheet, Jacob writing the date neatly in his little spelling book. They worked slowly, Harry reading each word out loud and made sure to put it into a sentence, marking it carefully after his son was done. He was pleased to see Jacob had got the majority right, and they high-fived each other before Jacob tucked it away, coming round and sitting on Harry’s good leg for a minute. “So Jake. How have you been, sweetheart? Not still having bad dreams are you?”

Jacob just shrugged, knowing his dad would want him to be honest. “Sometimes,” he said, nodding his head slightly. “But when I wake up, I remember that you’re okay and it makes the tears go away. I still get a bit scared sometimes when I see a car like the one that hurt you, but I know you’re okay and that helps it to be better. I’m sorry…”

“Hey, no, you have nothing to apologise for,” Harry hurried to say, cuddling the little boy closer to his chest. “I’ll be honest too. I’ve had a few bad dreams since the accident too. I’ve woken up crying and upset and needed your lovely Daddy to cuddle me and make it all better. There’s nothing wrong with crying and being upset, darling.”

Jacob sniffed and looked at the floor then, telling Harry silently something was wrong. “Um… Thomas at school said real boys don’t cry, only girls cry.” Harry pushed down the bubble of anger burning inside him at those words, and exhaled slowly, gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

“That’s not true- god, that’s so far from the truth, my love. Daddy and I cry, and we’re big grown up men. Crying is a good way to let your feelings out, to make you feel better. Sometimes I cry when I’m happy as well as when I’m sad - does that make me less of a man?”

“No,” Jacob sniffed, wiping away his tears as he snuggled further into Harry. “You’re still my Dad, and Daddy is still my Daddy but… why did Thomas say that?”

“Maybe he just doesn’t know any better, love. If that’s what he has been told at home, he’s just copying words. But please. Promise me you don’t believe that, that boys can’t cry. Promise me?”

“I promise,” Jacob said, sniffing as Louis reappeared in the doorway, Jay hovering just behind him. “Hi Daddy. Me and Dad did my homework and now we’re having a Tomlinson chat.”

“Well, I’m a Tomlinson too, does that mean I can join in?” Louis said with a smile. Jacob nodded and jumped up, letting Louis help Harry get to the bed, lifting his broken leg onto the bed, making sure Harry was comfortable before he lifted Jacob up next to his Dad. Louis and Jay dragged chairs over, and they all sat for a while talking before Jay told Jacob they’d better make a move if they were going to get the shopping for the special dinner they were cooking together.

“Will you make me a special dinner when I come home?” Harry asked.

“Of course Dad, I can’t wait to have you home, I miss you so much,” Jacob said, and hugged up to Harry, kissing both of his cheeks before he slid off the bed, putting on the hoodie that Louis held out for him. “I’ll be back tomorrow with Nanny, okay Dad? Keep practising your walking so you can come home. I can push your wheelchair for you if you want!”

Louis snorted into his hand and tried to turn it into a cough, and Jacob just looked at him before heading for Jay. “Bye love, lovely to see you,” Jay said, raising her hand and waving at Harry. “If you boys need anything, just give me a call. I can always bring stuff in, or get Anne to drop some stuff off.”

“Thanks Mum,” Louis said, hugging her quickly. “See you both tomorrow. Love you Jake.”

“Love you too!” Jacob called, blowing kisses to Harry and Louis. “Bye!” Louis and Harry sat together as they watched Jacob skip happily up the corridor, pleased to see he was much more himself. Harry pulled Louis closer and nuzzled his head between his shoulder blades, making Louis practically purr from the touch. He whined slightly as Harry’s hands gripped at his waist.

A nurse walked in then, and handed Harry his next set of medicines, signing a few forms as he swallowed them down with the offered cup of water.

“Thank you,” Harry said as she left, finally leaving him and Louis alone. He felt sleepy and laid down on the bed, Louis curling up next to him. Harry dozed off quite quickly, and Louis just sat on his phone, flicking through his Twitter and Instagram accounts while Harry slept, the lights slowly dimming from the window as the sun set. Louis just kissed his forehead, Harry’s warm breath tickling his neck as he fell deeper into sleep, and before long, Louis could feel himself drifting off to join him.

*****

“Mmmm,” Harry mumbled, moving his hips forward against Louis as he stirred from his slumber. The room was pretty pitch black now, the door shut and it was fairly quiet, meaning he’d been asleep for a fair while. His husband was sound asleep next to him, and Harry couldn’t ignore the feelings he’d been desperately trying to repress for the past week or so he’d been in hospital. This was one of the worst things about being stuck in here, and right now, he didn't care if someone walked in. He had to get off.

He snaked a hand around Louis’ waist and pulled him back slightly until Louis’ bum was nestled against his crotch, pressing firmly enough on his hard-on that he whined slightly, grinding forward, ignoring the throb from his broken leg as he wriggled his body around trying to get comfortable. He wiggled his boxers down until they were under his cock, and started rubbing off against Louis’ ass, biting his lip and trying to muffle his sounds.

He must have been a bit loud though because soon enough, Louis stirred and mumbled something before he realised what Harry was doing. He pushed back for a second then rolled over, eyes open in shock, trying to find Harry’s in the darkness.

“Haz, what you doing?” he muttered, trying to ignore the fact that Harry was hard was making _him_ hard as well. Harry’s fingers didn't let go of Louis’ hips, pulling him back again and again, both of them building up a quick rhythm. “Hey, come on, we can’t, Haz, we can’t-”

“We fucking can,” Harry mumbled, voice thick with desire, head foggy with lust for his husband. “I’m so fucking horny, Lou. We haven’t had a shag in weeks, and I’m desperate. Every time you help me shower I have to will my erection away, but fuck it. I need to get off.”

“Shit, fine,” Louis mumbled, turning around and pushing his own boxers down, freeing his own cock now. He reached a hand down and took himself in hand, stroking until he was at full hardness, Harry still grinding against him, lost in his own mind. Just as he was getting somewhere, Harry suddenly cried out and rolled onto his back, face contorted in something that Louis was sure didn't look like pleasure. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

“Fuck! Cramp…” Harry moaned, rubbing frantically at the calf of his good leg. Louis reached over and flicked on the light, pulling back the sheet and ignored his husband’s cock hanging out of his boxers as he grabbed Harry’s calf, massaging at the tight muscle for a few minutes until Harry relaxed. Interestingly though, his erection hadn’t flagged at all, and Louis tiptoed his finger up his leg, brushing around where Harry needed his touch the most. “Louis… touch me… please…”

Louis nodded, and took Harry’s hard length into his hand, trying not to moan at how hard Harry was for him, stroking up and down, flicking his wrist at the tip, just how he knew Harry liked. Deciding to be brazen and not care, Louis bent down and kissed the tip, lapping up the precome bubbling from Harry’s cock.

“Oh my god… Lou…” Harry moaned, fingers tight in his own curls as he willed down the feeling of his orgasm. “Shit, I’m gonna come, don’t do that yet…” Louis smirked and carried on, hand wrapped tightly around the base now, trying to ensure Harry didn't come until he was ready. Louis pulled the sheet back up their bodies, finding it quite hot that this felt naughty somehow, and stroked Harry quicker now. He was rubbing himself off against Harry’s good leg, and he realised then how much he’d missed intimacy with his husband.

“Fuck… can’t wait to get you home and fuck you at last,” Louis moaned, prompting a loud whine from Harry as he bucked his hips up, chasing more friction from Louis. “Gonna take you apart, make you feel so fucking good babe…”

“Yeah, want you …. Want you inside me,” Harry mumbled, licking his lips and yanking Louis up by the neck of his t-shirt into a deep kiss, their tongues tangling together desperately, both men needing something more now they’d started. Louis stilled at his words, and Harry pulled back, frowning a little.

“I’m not gonna fuck you here,” Louis said quietly, snaking a hand down to wrap around Harry’s cock. “I might wank you off but I’m not having sex in hospital, love. I’m sorry but no.” Harry pouted like a child, and Louis rolled his eyes, resuming the movement of his hand until Harry’s eyes fluttered shut, focusing on the feeling of his husband touching him. “Getting close, love?”

Harry moaned and nodded, feeling heat pool in his belly, a sensation he’d missed over the past few weeks. Thanks to Louis having to help him wash himself in the shower, he hadn’t even had any privacy for a wank, and he was getting desperate. He was panting now, bucking his hips into the fist Louis had made around his cock, and he wanted so badly to come. Just as he was getting close to the edge, the door clicked open and a nurse bustled in.

“For fuck’s sake,” he growled lowly, letting Louis roll over so he could push his bare cock against his ass, covering himself up somewhat. They still had the sheet draped over them, but he didn't want to risk anyone except Louis seeing his naked lower half. There were some things he saved only for his husband.

“Just got your next pain meds, Harry. If you could just take them for me now, that’d be great.” He pulled his face into a tense smile and sat up gingerly, making sure he was covered up and grabbed the two pills and cup of water, quickly swallowing them down. He could see the laugh threatening to burst out of Louis, the way his eyes were sparkling and if he looked hard enough, he could see Louis’ hand still stroking himself under the cover, and Harry tried hard to keep his face straight.

“Thanks, Jean. If you could close the door behind you, we’re pretty tired, gonna try to have a nap.”

“Sure, love, no problem. I’ll let the other nurses know you’re not to be disturbed for a while.” Harry smiled in thanks, and sighed with relief when she left, the door closing with an audible click behind her.

“Fucking hell,” Louis giggled, groaning as he felt Harry push his cock between his cheeks, moving back and forth. “It’s like you want us to get caught or something. Into public sex, are we?”

“No, but I am into sex with you, so can we get on with it please?” Harry asked, his cock hard and desperate for friction now. “Please, Lou, I’m so hard it hurts…”

“Oh, let me help you then,” Louis said, yanking his boxers up and getting to his knees. Harry shut his eyes, expecting to feel Louis’ warm hand around him, so when it was Louis’ mouth that enveloped his cock, he gasped and bucked up suddenly. “Fucking OW!” Louis yelled, clutching his cheek bone. “You just fucking whacked me in the face with your cast, you complete twat!”

His eyes were watering with pain and Harry felt terribly guilty, grabbing Louis down into a hug, ignoring the throb of his cock which was laid against his hip now. He kissed Louis’ cheek several times, and rubbed it with the palm of his hand. “Baby, I’m sorry, I just… I didn't expect you to suck me off… I’m so sorry…”

“I’m alright, just hurts a bit,” Louis said, not wanting to make Harry feel any worse. “Lay back, I’ll try again, Keep still this time, yeah?” Harry nodded and relaxed back, placing a hand on the back of Louis’ head as he ducked down again, kissing up his shaft slowly, getting Harry used to the sensation before he took him in hand, stroking slowly and licking around the tip.

“So good at this, love your mouth Lou,” Harry moaned, eyes flicking to the door occasionally, not wanting the pair to get walked in on. He groaned loudly as Louis took him fully in his mouth, and Louis’ hand came up, clamping over his mouth as he sucked him down, trying to keep Harry quiet.

Harry could only watch the bob of his husband’s head as he continued to lick and suck, swirling his tongue around exactly as he knew Harry liked, and he could see Louis’ ass moving as well, telling him he was rubbing against the bed, trying to get himself off. As much as Harry wanted to help, he was too turned on to care and just slowly moved his hips, feeling Louis suck harder, his hand around the base of his cock where he couldn’t reach. Louis’ hand released his mouth and Harry bit his lip. 

“God, fuck… I’m close, Lou, can I… can I…” Louis stayed where he was, telling Harry it was fine, and Harry pushed his head ever so slightly further, making his husband cough slightly, and that was enough to make Harry come hard, spilling down Louis’ throat, watching him try to swallow every drop of his release down, a few errant drops making their way down his chin. “Oh god….”

Louis popped off and licked his lips, smirking up at Harry. He’d missed sex too, had had to make do with his right hand when he got a chance to shower at home but it wasn’t the same as the intimacy he regularly shared with Harry. He didn't feel bad about finally having sex with his husband again now that he knew he was going to be alright, and already he was craving getting him back into his bed, showing Harry exactly how he missed him and still wanted him.

“Need me to help you…?” Harry asked in a low voice, and Louis blushed, shaking his head. Harry’s eyes fell to the wet patch on the front of Louis’ boxers and he chuckled, cupping Louis’ cheek with his palm and bringing him in for a kiss. As their tongues met, he groaned as he tasted himself in Louis’ mouth, pulling away slowly and staring into his husband’s eyes. “I love you, Lou. So much. Don’t know how I got so lucky, baby.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” Louis said as he pecked Harry’s lips again, stepping over to their bag on the sofa and quickly pulled off his dirty boxers, yanking on a new pair as Harry wriggled his back up and over his hips. “Missed that, you know. Not just sex, but, like, being intimate with you. We’ve always been sexual, so it’s weird going without that.”

“I know what you mean,” Harry said, holding his arm out so Louis could climb back into bed with him. The nurses and doctors had long ago given up trying to get them to sleep in separate beds, and when Harry told them Louis kept the nightmares away, who were they to refuse? “I just miss you, being at home with you and Jake, taking him to school…. I want to come home, Louis.” He teared up then at his own words, and sniffed, Louis pulling him into his chest for a minute.

“Come on babe, don’t cry,” he said, rubbing his husband’s back. “Hey, you want to FaceTime Jake? It’s not late, I’m sure Mum won’t mind.” Harry sniffed and nodded, heart feeling happy again at the thought of seeing his boy. Louis grabbed his phone and charger and quickly dialled his Mum, and happily, she answered the phone after a few seconds. “Hey Mum, is Jacob still awake? Harry just wanted to see him for a minute.”

Jay understood straight away having worked in plenty of hospitals herself and jogged up stairs, knocking before she walked into Jacob’s room. His little face lit up when he saw his parents faces on the screen, and he waved frantically.

“Hi Daddy! Hi Dad! Wow, your faces are on the screen and so big!” They all laughed at that, and Harry reached out a fingertip, touching where Jacob’s face was on Louis’ screen. “How is your leg, Dad? Are you coming home soon?”

“My leg’s not too bad, bub, getting better every day,” Harry said with a smile. “I hope I’m coming home soon… I hate the food, and I miss you so much! You being a good boy?”

“I’m always a good boy,” Jacob said with a serious face, nodding with his arms folded across his chest. “Hey, guess what? I went swimming with Dan and Phoebe and Daisy earlier and it was so cool! We went on the big slides and I was brave enough for the blue one today!”

“Wow! Well done boy, so proud of you,” Harry said, while Louis held two thumbs up at the screen, his own grin echoed in Jacob’s. “I’ll take you back there when I’m all better, yeah?”

Jacob fell quiet and his gaze dropped to the mattress as he nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe,” he said before he picked his head up again, smiling at his dads. “Want me to read some of my new reading book to you?”

Louis nodded, and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder as Jacob began to read, only stumbling over a few words as he read the book enthusiastically. Louis looked up at Harry’s face, focused entirely on his son and he felt happy and content, knowing that Harry really was going to be okay and no matter how hard the next few weeks and months were going to be, it would be fine because they were going to face it all together, as always.

*****

Five days later, Louis was sat at the side of the physiotherapy room, watching the staff put Harry through his paces. His wrist was healing much quicker than the doctors had expected and he was doing a few strengthening exercises, as well as practising walking a little bit on his leg. They’d put Harry’s foot into a supportive shoe, and he was hobbling along, wincing but Louis could see the determination in his face. As he reached the end, he collapsed into the physio’s arms, the strong man able to bear his weight and Harry blushed as he looked up into the man’s face.

“Shit Rob, I’m sorry…” Harry said, trying to stand.

“Hey Harry, it’s what I’m here for, yeah? Trust me, you’re doing really well. Shall we try again?” Harry nodded, steeling himself for more practise. “Louis, can you stand at the other end? Give Harry something to aim for?” Louis grinned and nodded, standing up and making his way to the end of the walkway, hands on his hips as he wiggled them side to side, teasing Harry.

“Fucks sake Lou, we’re in public, can you not?” Harry grunted out, teeth gritted as Rob let go of him and he started to bear weight on his bad leg, eyes fixed on Louis as he stepped slowly towards him. He could see the pride in Louis’ eyes as he got closer, hands gripping the bars either side of him, Rob hovering close behind just in case.

“You can do it, love,” Louis encouraged, and Harry paused, scrunching his eyes up at the pain he was feeling, like no other he’d ever felt.

“I can’t, Lou,” he choked out, legs feeling like jelly as he took several deep breaths, trying to collect himself.

“Yes, you can,” Louis said sternly, knowing Harry needed to start doing this if he was ever going to be allowed home. “Come on, Harry, only a few more steps.”

“Lou…” Harry said in a broken voice, and it took everything Louis had not to rush over and hold him, telling him not to bother. Instead, he stood up straighter and looked straight at Harry.

“If you can do this, I’ll make it worth your while later on.” Rob cleared his throat in an embarrassed manner behind them, and Harry’s eyes flew open. “Oh, I’m well past giving a fuck, Harry. We’re married, we have sex. It’s not a secret. Now get your ass here so I can reward you later.”

Harry grinned and took a deep breath, slowly starting to walk again. His steps were shaky, a little uncertain but a few minutes later, Louis’ arms were wrapped around his waist, supporting him before he helped him back into his wheelchair, kissing his lips. “So proud of you, gorgeous. And I meant it..” he winked at him as Rob came over, scribbling something on Harry’s notes.

“So, I’m really pleased with your progress Harry, and I’ll be letting your doctors know. Um, Louis, thanks for… um, incentivising Harry-” Louis snorted at that, and Harry looked to the floor, avoiding Rob’s gaze. “I won’t be trying that with my other patients, but hey, whatever works, right?”

“Exactly,” Louis said. “Can I take him back upstairs now?” Rob nodded, and the pair bade his goodbye as Louis pushed his husband through the hospital, smiling at a few people who grinned at them, most people used to seeing Harry out and about in the corridors by now. “Seriously though, babe. You impress me so much, I can see how much it hurts but you’re so determined.”

“Well, s’the only way I’m gonna get home to you two, isn’t it?” Louis nodded and carefully pushed the chair into the room. Before he could help Harry get back onto the bed, Harry grabbed him and kissed him. “Help me shower?” Louis nodded, and pair went into the bathroom, quickly cleaning Harry, and soon, they were back in the room, surprised to see a doctor waiting for them.

“Oh, sorry, we didn't know you were coming,” Louis said, passing Harry his comb, watching as he ran it through his damp curls.

“No problem, it wasn’t a scheduled visit,” the man said with a smile. “I’m Doctor James, one of the senior registrar’s on duty. I’ve been reviewing your case file with my colleagues in our meeting this morning, and we are all pleased with your progress. How do you think you are doing, Mr Tomlinson?”

“Well, I’m starting to feel stronger every day. The physio is working, although it’s very slow which is frustrating. Lou’s been amazing though, he’s so encouraging and he makes me feel like I can do it, that I can get better.” Louis smiled shyly from where he was sat next to Harry, the consultant nodding along as they spoke.

“I agree, Mr Tomlinson. Your physio is very pleased with your progress as well, says you are regaining strength each time and he thinks you will be walking well enough very soon if you continue to progress as you are now.”

“That’s good to know,” Louis said, patting Harry’s good leg, the pair smiling at each other.

“So, we would be happy to look at discharging you tomorrow, Mr Tomlinson. Your medication can be dealt with at home, and you would need to ensure you come in several times a week for your physio and monitoring appointments, but we don’t any need for you to remain in here.”

There was only silence in the room. Neither Louis or Harry had expected that news, but soon, a grin was splitting Harry’s face.

“I can go home?” He turned to Louis, squeezing his hand, shock still reverberating through his body.

“Yes, Mr Tomlinson, you and your husband can go home.”

“Oh my god, Haz, you can come home, baby,” Louis said, turning and hugging Harry tightly, relief flooding through his veins at the thought of his husband finally coming home.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Harry said when Louis released him, holding out his hand for the doctor to shake. “You’ve made my day… I mean, you’ve all taken such good care of me, but I’m really ready to be at home with my family now.”

“I understand,” the doctor said with a smile. “We will make sure to come around early tomorrow Mr Tomlinson and get your discharge sorted out.”  He shook their hands again and left the room, Harry immediately pulling Louis close for a hug again, careful of his broken leg which was aching now after the physio.

“I’m coming home, babe. I can’t believe it. Jake's gonna be so happy.”

Louis nodded and kissed him softly, holding his face in his hands, staring into Harry’s beautiful green eyes. “You’re coming home, darling, back home to me and our son. You're coming home.”


	40. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally comes home from hospital, he and Louis try to reconnect and end up having an honest heart to heart...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manip used belongs to the owner and creator.

“Right, have you got everything love?” Harry looked over to Louis who was shoving the last few pairs of socks and his jogging bottoms into the large sports bag, and it looked like it was proving to be a tight squeeze.

“Yeah, I think so, Lou. I checked the cupboards and drawers, just need to grab my iPhone charger and then I’m ready to finally get the hell out of here.” He grinned widely, and Louis looked over his shoulder at him, winking back. “Oh, and we need to stop at the hospital pharmacy to grab my meds but other than that, yeah, I’m ready. You?”

“Never been more ready for anything,” Louis said, stepping over to the bed and hugging his husband tightly. “Been waiting three weeks for this sweetheart, Jake cannot wait to see you. Get your arse in the wheelchair and we’ll get going.”

Harry carefully lifted himself off the bed and hobbled across the room into the wheelchair they were having to take home with them. Harry knew he’d be able to walk around the house fairly unaided, being given a walking stick for support if it was needed, but longer distances meant he’d need the wheelchair for help. He wasn’t a fan of being seen in public in it, but he was alive, and surely that was the most important thing?

Louis passed him the sports bag, setting it heavily on Harry’s lap before he picked up his phone, yanking the charger from the wall and shoving it into one of the side pockets of the bag. “Let’s go, love.” He kissed Harry’s head as he took the handles of the wheelchair, pushing him out of the door and down the familiar corridor for the very last time. Many of the staff who had been looking after Harry (and Louis) stopped them for hugs, Louis and Harry gratefully thanking each one with heart, knowing they’d miss their kind and caring nature.

Louis pushed him into the lift, and squeezed Harry’s shoulder as he saw him trying to discretely wipe away tears threaten to fall from his eyes, overcome with emotion at finally leaving the place he’d called home for the past three or so weeks. The chill of the air hit both of them as they walked into the car park, a more open building and Louis headed for their car. He put the brakes on the chair as Harry hoisted himself up, carefully hopping up into the passenger seat and securing his seatbelt.

Louis expertly folded up the wheelchair, having spent a good chunk of time with Rob in physio working out how to fold it up so Harry could come home. It had finally twigged when Louis realised it was a lot like dismantling a pushchair, something he was quite familiar with himself, and he’d soon got the hang of it, doing it with ease. It had taken a day longer than planned for Harry to leave but now he had, it felt great. Louis lifted the chair up into the large boot of their Audi and slammed the door shut, chucking Harry’s bag onto the back seat next to Jacob’s car seat.

“Oh my god, is this really happening? Am I actually getting out of here?” Harry asked as Louis began slowly driving for the exit, digging around in the centre console for the parking ticket that would allow him to leave. Louis wound his window down and pushed the ticket into the machine, watching the barrier rise in front of him.

“You’re really coming home, darling,” he said, grinning across at Harry as he pressed down on the accelerator and headed for home. Harry was fairly quiet all of the way, not letting go of Louis’ free hand and when they finally swung into the driveway, he let out a big sigh. Louis pulled on the handbrake and turned off the engine, shuffling in his seat until he could face his husband. “Babe, you okay? What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing,” Harry said, exhaling slowly. “Just… I never thought the last time I left our home that I wouldn’t be coming home for nearly a month. Seems strange, that’s all. Come on, let’s get in.” He pushed his door open and waited for Louis to come around, helping him onto the floor and to get his balance. Slowly, hand in hand, they walked towards the front door, Louis opening it and leading Harry in to the sitting room.

“SURPRISE!”

Harry jumped as he walked into the room, smiling widely as he saw all of his friends and family there to welcome him home. Before he knew it, Jacob was running at him and threw his arms around his waist, grabbing hold of Harry’s top. Harry leaned over as much as he could and buried his head in the boys hair, feeling overwhelmed.

“I’m so happy you’re home, Dad,” the little boy mumbled, and kissed Harry’s torso. After a few more seconds, he pulled away and grabbed Harry’s hand, leading him over to the banner that was hung above their fireplace. It was several pieces of A3 paper glued together, and Jacob had drawn and coloured in “Welcome Home Best Dad Ever” onto in rainbow bubble letters. “I made this for you, and Nanny Jay and Nanny Anne helped me put it up. Oh! And I made you a card at school…” With that, the little boy ran off, returning a second later with a folded piece of paper in his hand.

Harry looked at the drawing and read the words inside, feeling tears prick at the back of his eyes. He hugged Jacob tightly again, setting the card down on the coffee table and finally looked up, smiling at everyone else who was gathered there for him. His parents were there, and Gemma, as well as Louis’ family and siblings. Zayn, Stan, Liam and Niall were there too, and Harry felt so loved in that moment. Louis came over from where he’d been talking to his mum and kissed his lips softly, not caring who saw.

“I love you. Welcome home, my love.”

“Did you do this?” Harry asked, resting his forehead on Louis’ shoulder. He felt Louis’  hand come up to the middle of his back, resting there reassuringly. “Did you do this for me?”

“Might have done,” Louis said with a coy smile. “Had a bit of help but… yeah. Wanted to make this special for you, love. I know how much you’ve been dying to get home. Let’s get you sat down before that leg of yours starts hurting.” He held Harry’s hand and led him over to the sofa, where Anne immediately went to join him, along with Jacob. Everyone else mingled, talking amongst themselves until they went over to see Harry, greeting him with hugs and handshakes.

Jacob got bored of sitting after a while and made a beeline for the spread of food that Anne and Jay had put together, piling up a plate for himself, and then one for Harry. Jay insisted on him putting his own down while he took his to Harry, proudly holding it in front of him. “I got you food, Dad!” Harry took it with a smile and a kiss, nibbling on a few bits despite the fact he didn't have much of an appetite.

“Thank you, love,” he said, catching Louis’ eye across the room and smiling at him. Their guests stayed for the next few hours until Harry was visibly tired, and Louis reluctantly everyone to start making their way home, wanting to help Harry get settled, and get Jacob bathed and ready for school the next day. He carefully helped Harry up the stairs, hovering behind him as Harry negotiated the stairs, Jacob singing along to something on his iPod in his room.

“Can I read Jake his story tonight?” Harry asked before Louis left the room, eyes full of emotion. “I’ve missed it so much. I know I can’t do the bath bit at the moment, but I can still sit and read with him?” Louis smiled and nodded.

“Of course you can, I’ll bring him and the book in here when he’s done in the bath. You sit and rest babe.” Louis leaned in and kissed him quick, but Harry quickly hooked his hand around the back of his neck, pulling him back for more. It wasn’t a deep kiss, just a series of small kisses, Harry pressing his lips to Louis’, trying to tell Louis how much he loved him and how grateful he was for everything. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ left hand and his wedding ring before he left the room. It wasn’t long until Jacob was running back into Harry and Louis’ room in just his little underwear, Louis chasing after him with his pyjamas. “Oi, listen to your Daddy and put your PJ’s on please,” Harry chastised, accepting the book from Jacob, laughing at his little pout as Louis put the pyjamas on the bed, Jacob finally slipping them on. He then wriggled up and under the cover, covered to his neck, his head resting on Harry’s chest as they snuggled down for the next chapter of their book.

“I haven’t let anyone read it to me, I wanted to wait for you,” Jacob said, sounding a little sleepy now. Harry smiled over to Louis who smiled back and left the room, giving Harry and Jacob a bit of alone time. Harry tucked his arm around his son, making sure that the teddy Jacob had brought in with him was cuddled up to and opened the book, setting the bookmark down on the mattress next to him and began to read.

*****

Harry slept better that night at home in his own bed with Louis than he had for what felt like months. He’d fallen asleep not long after Jacob had left for his own bed, and Louis ended up falling asleep too, all of them drained after an emotional day. He woke up in pain the next morning, wincing as he swung his legs out of bed, stirring Louis next to him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Louis asked groggily, noticing Harry was already sitting up. “Love? Do you need your painkillers?” Harry just nodded, trying not to react to the bursts of pain that were shooting through him. Louis slipped out of the room and returned with a few pills in his hand with a cup of water, and gave them to Harry who threw them back, gulping the water as he hoped they’d start working quickly. “Oh babe, if you needed them earlier, you should have woken me up.”

Harry shook his head. “I just woke up, Lou, it’s fine. They’ll kick in soon. Sleep well?” They kissed quickly, and Louis helped lift Harry’s bad leg back into bed, a glance at the clock telling him he had a little while left before he had to wake Jacob for school. Louis felt grateful to finally be able to do the school run again, and had managed to get the next week off work to help Harry settle in at home, Anne and Jay agreeing to pop in over the next few weeks to check on Harry.

“I did. Missed our bed and sleeping with you,” Louis answered honestly, kissing Harry’s bare chest. “I mean, I know I slept next to you but it’s not the same as your own bed, is it?” Harry shook his head and pulled Louis into a kiss then. It was slow and deep, exactly what both of them needed. Harry moaned as Louis slipped his tongue into his mouth, the feeling of finally being able to do things like this with him again without the fear of being walked in on was wonderful, and already Harry was craving more. “Mmm, save it for later. I’ve gotta get Jake to school in a minute but then I’ll be home…” He winked at Harry and they laughed together for a minute, stilling when they heard the inevitable sound of Jacob waking up and going to the bathroom. “See? Told you…”

They ate breakfast together, Jacob chatting about what he was going to be up to that week, and soon they left, leaving Harry in the too-quiet house. He watched TV, washed up the breakfast things and eventually, Louis arrived home from dropping Jacob off school. He'd had a quick meeting with the headteacher about his coming back to work in just a week or so. He felt extremely lucky they’d been so good about him having all this time off, and was actually excited to get back to work in a way - he missed the children and his colleagues, and he was ready to start getting life back to some sort of normality.

Harry was still upstairs when he got in. He could hear the music playing through the little speakers in their bedroom so he kicked off his shoes, heading for the kitchen first to grab some drinks and snacks before he climbed the stairs. He kicked open the bedroom door with his foot and dumped the food on his chest of drawers, standing the bottles of water back up before he pulled off his jumper and jogging bottoms, and climbed back on the bed next to Harry.

“God, it’s chilly out there but it’s such a lovely sunny day, we should go and get some fresh air in a bit,” Louis mused, pleased to see Harry nodding next to him before he sat his phone back on the table.

“Yeah, okay, afterwards though,” Harry said, a serious look on his face.

“After what?” Louis frowned, mentally running through the list of appointments, sure he didn't have anything booked for Harry until Wednesday, his first outpatient physio. “I don’t think we’ve-”

“After we’ve had sex. Lou, it’s been too fucking long and quite frankly, I don’t care whether it’s you in me or me in you, this has to happen and now, please. My cock’s been hard for weeks and I need some. Please?”

Louis had to laugh at Harry’s honesty and the expression on his face, so sincere he just wanted to hold him close and kiss him all day until he had to pick Jacob up again. “Oh babe… course. I’ve missed you too, so much. But… how is this gonna work? You’ve got that cast on your leg and…” he tailed off, running through the various positions they could try, coming up stumped.

“Let’s just get going and see what happens, yeah?” Harry said, a hand already snaking down under the sheet as he touched himself, already aroused just at the thought of being intimate with Louis. With the other hand, he pulled Louis close by his neck and kissed him deeply, their tongues massaging against each others, their deep moans filling the room as they kissed slowly and reverently. Louis could feel Harry’s hand moving on himself and he pressed closer, the back of Harry’s hand catching his own cock now, the little bit of friction that he needed. “Shit, Lou.. get my boxers off, please babe.”

Louis nodded and dove under the sheet, yanking Harry’s underwear down and off his legs before following with his own, along with his shirt leaving them both naked. It felt like it had been too long since he’d been naked with his husband and he moved so their bodies were touching from head to toe, pleased to feel Harry’s skin on his at last. “God, Harry… missed you so much baby…” Louis’ hand wrapped around both of their lengths then, stroking firmly enough to make Harry moan. “Want you so much…”

“Mmm, me too,” Harry rasped, his voice low and full of arousal, turning Louis on even more. “Think… ah god, that’s good, think that you need to ride me babe, for now at least til I can move more.” Louis nodded, cheeks flushing at the thought of having Harry inside him again and he shuffled across the bed, grabbing the lube to start opening himself up. He groaned as he pushed his first finger in, Harry kissing him hard when he realised what Louis was doing, and sighed in frustration at not being able to do it how they used to. “Fuck, wanna see you babe…”

Louis kissed him quickly and got up, turning around so Harry could see exactly what he was doing with his fingers. Louis didn't care right then that he was so exposed, he was just so turned on and wanted Harry to feel as much as part of this as he could. Just as he pushed a third finger in, he felt Harry’s dry fingers come up and stroke around where he was inside him, making his movements stutter for a moment. “Shit, Haz…” He pushed the tip of his finger in alongside Louis’, and moaned at the feeling. “Fuck, I’m ready… are you..?”

Harry grabbed the lube and quickly slicked up his own cock, shuffling across into the middle of the bed so they had some room to move. Louis straddled his hips, careful not to bear any weight on Harry’s thighs and the cast, and lifted himself up enough. He reached behind him, holding Harry’s cock up so he could sink down, and stared deep into Harry’s eyes as he did so, biting down hard on his lip at the stretch and burn. It really had to been too long and it hurt, Harry was so hard and big, but Louis exhaled, Harry’s hands on his hips encouraging his slow movement.

“Oh fucking hell… Louis, baby, feel so good - fuck, yes-” Harry was mumbling down as Louis started to make small circles with his hips, adjusting to Harry’s size within him. “God, you look so fucking good babe…. So sexy sat on me. I love you Lou- ah!”

“Love you too,” Louis panted out as he started to lift himself up and down, the drag of Harry’s bare cock inside him so much. Louis’ palms were on Harry’s chest now as he leant forwards, starting to rock gently and he watched as Harry’s hand came up, grasping hold of his cock and starting to stroke, using the precome dripping from it to help the glide. “Oh yes, don’t stop babe - touch me-”

Louis threw his hand back and moaned as Harry squeezed on an upstroke, a zap of pleasure running through him that he couldn’t control. He hadn’t realised until that moment how much he’d missed doing this with Harry, and right then, he just didn't want to ever stop. “Fuck, I’m gonna come- oh god…” he scrunched his eyes shut as Harry’s hand held the base of his cock tightly, preventing his orgasm, and Louis start to bounce a little more, encouraged by the way Harry was looking at him, like he wanted to eat him.

“Show me how good I make you feel, Lou. Fuck yourself on my cock and make yourself come babe.” Louis was a little stunned at the stream of dirty words flowing from his husband’s mouth but nodded, starting to work up and down, almost letting Harry’s cock slide out of him entirely before he slammed back down again, making them both cry out, over and over, orgasms edging ever closer. “Oh fuck, Lou - all mine, aren’t you? Just mine, love you, shit-”

Louis was riding Harry faster now, and he knew he wasn’t going to stop until he’d come. Harry’s cock was throbbing inside him, and his own was desperate for release, Harry’s hand still stroking, trying to match Louis’ pace. “Oh fuck-  Harry, can I - oh yes, ah, god, - Can I come baby?” Harry just nodded and thumbed at the slit again and that was it. Louis came hard, crying out Harry’s name, still slamming down on his cock as he rode out the waves of his orgasm. “Fuck, in me Harry, fill me up - please-”

Louis’ begging was enough for Harry too and he started to come, gently moving his hips up into Louis as he came hard inside him, what felt like a month’s worth of release streaming out of him and into his husband. “Oh Louis… my beautiful Louis…” was all he could mutter as Louis stopped moving, just holding himself still as Harry panted out, shaking from the force of his orgasm. “I love you baby.

“Love you too,” Louis said, a little hoarse and out of breath by now. Carefully, he planted his hands on the bed and lifted himself off, wincing as Harry’s cock slid out of him, a trail of warm come following down his thigh. “Shit, you came loads Haz.”

“Well, I haven’t had a shag in weeks, Lou, had to make do with the odd blowjob, it’s not the same babe.” They both laughed then, and Louis stumbled towards the bathroom, cleaning himself up before making sure Harry was okay and getting on the bed next to him too. “Love you, though. Glad I’m home and we can get back to normal.”

“Me too. Missed you, and missed this, being together like this. God, that was good. You’re gonna make it up to me when you’re better though, cos its gonna be me doing all the work for the forseeable future. You get to just lay there and watch.”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis swatted at his arm. “You wanna go for that walk now?” Louis cocked an eyebrow but nodded, thinking that sounded like a nice idea. They got dressed, Louis passing Harry his biggest, baggiest pair of joggers to pull on over his cast and helped him hobble down the stairs. “I’m gonna have to go in the chair, aren’t I?”

“Yep,” Louis said, unfolding it outside the front door and helping Harry lower himself into it, bundling himself up into his coat. Harry wound his scarf around his neck and stuck his gloves on his hands as Louis shut the door behind him and grasped the handles of Harry’s wheelchair, pushing him up their driveway and onto the street. He deliberately turned the opposite way to the park where Harry had his accident, thinking going back there was something to be saved for another time when they’d had a chance to talk about it.

“Jake go in okay?” Harry asked, his son always on his mind. He’d had a fair few moments of being quite quiet since Harry had come home, but they’d both put it down to the boy being tired and yet another change to his life. Louis resolved to talk to him about it, and nodded before realising Harry couldn’t see him from where he was sat.

“Yeah, I think so. He skipped in anyway, didn't look back for me. I’m sure his teachers would call us if there was a problem.” Harry nodded and they walked quietly for a while. He crossed the road at a zebra crossing, walking down another residential street, pleased there weren’t too many cars about. “How’s the leg, sweetheart?”

“Okay, the painkillers are working, anyway,” Harry said, smiling as he watched a woman with a pushchair cross the road just ahead of them, heading for them now. Louis slowed down as the woman stopped, a little shocked to see the pair of them.

“Oh wow, you’re Harry Styles,” she stuttered out. “Sorry, how rude of me. Um, how are you? I heard about your accident… oh, and you must be Louis?”

“Hello, love. Yes, I’m Harry and that’s my hubby Lou. How are you?” He sat up, trying to peer in the pushchair the woman was rocking back and forth gently, and she took the hint, pushing it closer to Harry, letting him look. “Oh goodness, look how tiny she is! How old is she?”

“Nine days,” the woman said proudly, reaching in to tuck the blanket back down around the sleeping baby’s legs. “Her name is Amelie. Do you want a cuddle?”

Harry looked a little surprised by that. “Erm, isn’t it too cold for her to be out?”

“Haz, she’s a baby, she’ll be fine for a few minutes,” Louis reminded him, and watched as the woman carefully lifted out her baby, placing her in Harry’s arms, the blanket tightly wrapped around her. His heart melted at how Harry was looking down at the sleeping baby, how soft his face had gone.

“She’s absolutely beautiful,” Harry muttered, holding his hand up so Louis could pull off his glove, and he ran his finger down her warm cheek. “So tiny, I mean, I know babies are small but she’s so dinky. Was Jake this little, Lou?”

“Yeah, I reckon so,” Louis said, crouching down next to Harry. “So easy to forget how little they are once they grow up though. Our boy is seven and a half, but to me, it feels like he was born only yesterday.” The woman nodded knowingly.

“My other kids are nine, five and two. Amelie is our last, that’s for sure. Bit of a surprise, actually.” She laughed, and Harry gently passed her back, already missing the weight of the baby in his arms as she was put back into her buggy. “Well, it was lovely to meet you, my kids are gonna be mad that they weren’t here to say hi.”

“Oh, bless them. Do you have a bit of paper or something? I can write them something?” The lady nodded and rifled around in the baby bag hanging from the buggy and handed it with a pen to Harry. “What are their names?”

“Alfie, Hannah and Ben,” she said with a proud smile. Harry nodded and wrote hastily on the piece of paper before handing it back to her with a smile. “Wow, thanks so much Harry. It’s lovely to meet you, and you too, Louis. Take care.” She waved and walked off, leaving Louis and Harry to carry on with their walk.

“You love babies, don’t you love?” Louis asked, turning the corner and heading back for their house, feeling a bit chilly now. “That baby was so cute though. Loved her name too… Amelie, French like Louis.”

“Oui, oui,” Harry teased, and they both laughed at his poor French accent. “God, I’m fucking cold, Lou, are we going home?” Louis nodded, and they continued talking as they walked home, Louis upping the pace a bit to keep himself warm, eventually arriving at their front door. Harry got out of his chair and hobbled down the hall to the kitchen, flicking on the kettle and ignored Louis’ protests as he made them tea. “Can I come with you and pick up Jake? I’m sick of being stuck in here, and since I can’t drive…”

“Alright, love, he’d love that,” Louis said, and picked up the mugs when Harry had finished making the tea. He settled Harry on the sofa, making sure his leg was comfortable before he sat down, flicking on the television. “You had any more luck with the comic relief song babe?”

“Yeah, actually, got the lyrics pretty much down, I think,” Harry said, smiling softly at Louis. “Made a start on the melody too. And no, Lou, not playing it for you yet, not til it’s done. It’s for you.”

“Babe… it was meant to be for Comic Relief? For the kids and stuff?”

“Well, it can be taken both ways, don’t worry. But in my head, I’m writing it for you, about you, about us. You know you’re my inspiration sweetheart. Now kiss me.” Louis chuckled and leaned over the sofa, meeting Harry’s lips with his own. After having had sex with Harry, it felt like the tiny gap between them had melted away and things had gone back to normal and Louis loved it. “Got time for an episode of Game of Thrones before we have to go get Jake, up for it?”

“Always,” Louis said, grabbing the remote and coming up to sit next to Harry, burying himself in his side. Harry let him arm sit on top of Louis’ shoulders, and both men sat in silence watching the TV, happy and relieved to finally be back home and doing what they did best - being with each other.

*****

The next few days passed by fairly quickly. Harry was adjusting well to being back at home, and Louis was flourishing in his role as caregiver, enjoying time alone with Harry with Jacob was at school, and then the pair going together to his school to pick him up. Harry had even had to let some of Jacob’s friends sign his cast much to Louis’ amusement, happily egging the kids on as Harry dreaded what was being scribbled over him.

Harry had been a bit quiet a few times though, and Louis was starting to worry a little. Louis had caught him staring at Jacob a few times, tears in his eyes while they were doing something as simple as eating dinner or helping Jacob with his homework, and as much as Louis didn't want to interfere, he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest easy until he found out what was wrong, but it was all about finding the right time in which to ask. Jacob was always around, and by the time he went to bed, Harry was exhausted and was begging Louis to go to bed as well.

Friday night, though, saw Jacob having an early night thanks to Dan promising to take him swimming with the girls again the next day, and Jacob had jumped at the chance. Harry had helped him with his bath, well, as much as sitting on the closed toilet seat lid and chatting to him meant help, and had put him to bed too. Louis had hovered around just in case, but Harry was proud of himself for getting it done on his own, finally gaining a bit independence day by day.

“Goodnight sweetheart, sweet dreams,” Harry said as he tucked the quilt in around Jacob, passing him his teddy and smiling as his son cuddled up to it.

“Love you Dad, you sleep well too. Tell Daddy I love him. Please can you pass me Harry?”

Harry chuckled and reached over to the bedside table, handing Jacob his Harry doll. “I will, bub, love you too. Night darling.” Harry kissed him again and slowly made his way out of the room, pleased he could at least walk around the house unaided now.

“Hey,” Louis said, and Harry jumped, whirling around with his hand on his heart, looking shocked.

“Fuck me, Lou, made me jump a bloody mile!” Louis just laughed and stepped into Harry’s space, hugging him. “You alright?”

“Yeah, course. Um, can we talk babe?” Harry nodded and let Louis lead him to their bedroom, sitting cross-legged opposite Harry, taking his hand. “Now, I want you to listen and not get upset, okay? It’s important we talk about this stuff, because I don’t want you bottling it up and then getting really upset over it.”

Harry furrowed his brow, entirely perplexed as to what Louis was talking about. He stared at Louis, thinking back, wondering what he’d said or done that might make Louis suspect something was wrong. “Lou, I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about love. I’m not trying to avoid anything, I don’t - what do you mean?”

“Well. You’ve been really quiet the past few days. You’ve been looking at Jake funny as well, like, I don’t know, like you’re afraid he’s going to go somewhere? Is it the accident? Because I totally understand that it’s on your mind, I really do, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

Harry realised what it was Louis was talking about then and sighed, pulling his husband closer, Louis’ knees touching his thigh now. “Babe, I promise you, if something was wrong, you’d be the first person I’d come to about it. You know that, I’m always happy to talk to you and I trust you more than anyone else, doctors and nurses included.” Louis smiled at that, and held Harry’s hand, kissing the back. “So nothing’s wrong, per se…”

“But?” Louis asked, sensing Harry wanted to say more. “Is it the accident? Please tell me if it is, Haz, I care so much and I don’t want-”

“It’s not the accident,” Harry reassured him, squeezing Louis’ hand. “Well, it isn’t, but it sort of is. It just made me realise a few things, that’s all.”

“Like what?” Louis pressed, determined to get to the truth.

“Well, if something had happened to me-”

“Don’t talk like that, please.” Louis begged, hating the fact that could very well have been a reality just a few weeks ago.

“No, Lou, hear me out, please?” Louis nodded, letting Harry continue. “So, it made me think. If something had happened to me, you’d have nothing left of me, not really. Just my clothes, and the house and stuff, just material things, nothing… nothing real.”

“Okay?” Louis said, still a little puzzled as to where this was going.

“Well, it got me thinking. That if something did happen to me… that I’d want to leave something behind.”

“But, like what?” Louis asked, confused by now. “You’d be leaving your music behind, that’s a massive legacy… you wouldn’t be forgotten if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, Lou, you’re not getting it,” Harry said, feeling a little frustrated now as he realised he’d just have to come out and say it. “I’d want _you_ to have something of me. Not everyone else.” He took a deep breath, pressing his lips together before he started to speak again.  “Louis…”

“Harry…”

“Like… fuck, Lou… I want to have a baby with you. I want us to have a baby.”

Louis just stared, his heart pounding in his chest at Harry’s surprise declaration. It wasn’t a huge shock, they’d talked about having babies before and decided it was something that they definitely wanted to do, but now it sounded like it was something Harry wanted sooner rather than later. He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly at Harry.

“You want us to have a baby? Like… now?”

“Well, soon, yeah. I mean… I know you have Jake and he’s mine too, but if you had our baby… my baby, then I’d feel like I would have left a piece of me with you, that you wouldn’t be alone. You know what I’m saying? Lou?” He encouraged Louis to look up then and was surprised to see his husband was crying, and reached to wipe the tears away. “Oh darling, I’m sorry, it’s okay if you’re not ready-”

“No, it’s not that,” Louis sniffed, feeling a bit silly for crying. “I just.. I hate thinking of losing you. But you’re right. I want that too, I want us to have a baby, Haz. More than anything… god. I love you, Harry. I hope you didn't think for a second I would say no to this?”

“Not really, I was just worried you’d think it was too soon. We’ve only been married a short while really, but I know what I want, Lou. I want our family to grow, I want to raise another child with you. I know it won’t be easy, we’ll have to adopt or whatever, but I want it, I want it all with you. I love you, Louis.”

“I love you too, Harry. Shit, this is happening, isn’t it? We’re going to have a baby?”

“We’re going to have a baby,” Harry confirmed, and as he finished, he found himself with an armful of his boy, kissing his lips heavily, tears mingling between them. “You just keep on making my dreams come true, Tomlinson.”

“Just call me your own personal Genie,” Louis said, kissing Harry’s lips softly.

“Does that mean I get to rub you all over?” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis threw his head back in laughter, cutting through the peace and quiet of the room. “Seriously, though. We’re going to have a baby, Lou. Thank you, for saying yes to this, for, well, marrying me, loving me, taking care of me…”

“Hey, I’m your husband, it’s my job, yeah? Love you so much. We’ll talk about this more, yeah? Work out how we’re going to do it and when. I’m just… I’m thinking about you holding that baby the other day… that’s gonna be your with our son or daughter, Haz. You’re going to have your own little one. Fuck, I can’t wait to see it, you with our baby.”

“Me neither. That’s what I was thinking about when I held her, you know? How it would feel if it was mine? S’why I keep looking at Jake funny I guess. I love him so much, and I just wonder sometimes if I could ever love another baby the same way I love him. He’s everything to me, Lou.”

“You’d love them the same, trust me. I guess every parent thinks that, but you’ve got so much love inside you to give, Harry. You’re already an amazing Dad to Jake, you took on my son without a second thought, made him your own so I can’t even imagine how you’re going to feel for your own child, your own flesh and blood.”

“Shit. I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, Louis.” He grabbed Louis and kissed him hard, trying to show him in some way how much he loved him, how fiercely he loved and wanted Louis always. “You amaze me, you know that? Want you forever.”

“Is that a promise, Tomlinson?”

“Sure is,” Harry said, and kissed him again, just to prove that he could.

 


	41. Break On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry delve back into normality, but then, their carefully balanced house of cards begins to topple one by one.

“Harry, do you want a cup of tea?” Louis called out as he shut the front door behind him, just having got back from dropping Jacob off at school.

“No. Get your arse up here please.” Louis frowned as he hung his coat on the rack by the front door, throwing his keys into the small bowl they had there since Louis had a habit of losing his keys, and instead of following Harry’s voice, he headed for the laundry room.

“In a sec, babe, just want to get this load of washing in the tumble dryer!”

“Now, Louis! Hurry the fuck up!” Something in Harry’s voice made Louis spin on his heel, heading for the stairs, feeling the radiator as he walked past, pleased to see it was on and warming up the house. It was an unseasonably cold late September morning, and he usually loathed putting the heating on so early, but he hadn’t been able to warm up properly since he’d gotten out of bed that morning. “Lou….”

The obvious moan in Harry’s tone sent shivers down Louis’ spine, hurrying now towards the sound. “I’m coming, bloody hell, hold your horses,” he said as he climbed the stairs, rolling his eyes at the state of his son’s room as he walked past. “So what the fuck was so ur- fucking hell.” He stopped dead as he walked into their bedroom, eyes widening at the sight in front of him. 

Harry was entirely naked, stroking up and down his painfully hard cock. But what caught his attention most was Louis’ small dildo he was working in and out of himself with his other hand, moaning and writhing on the bed as the toy slid into him repeatedly, Harry’s chest covered in sweat.

“Fucking hell…” Louis mumbled, yanking his own top over his head. “What the fuck brought this on? And is that my dildo?!”

“Yeah, it - oh fuck, yes - it’s yours. Needed something… needed to feel full, Lou… been too long…” Louis knelt between Harry’s spread legs, taking care not to knock his cast as he slapped Harry’s hand out of the way, taking control of the toy now, changing the angle and making Harry cry out straight away. “Oh god Lou - right there, yes, fuck - harder babe…” Louis bit his lip, his own cock hardening rapidly at the sight of his husband in this state below him, and he wanted nothing more to than to bury himself deep inside him, sod the toy.

“Shit, what do you want, Haz?” Louis worked his palm against the zipper of his jeans, pressing down and groaning at the feel of pressure on his own cock, desperate to be free from the confines of his clothes. He dragged his eyes up, meeting Harry’s own for a minute until they dipped back down, watching the dildo as it disappeared into Harry’s body again, stretching him beautifully. Louis sighed, trying to keep himself under control.

“Need you to fuck me… want you inside, please Lou.” Louis could see Harry had tears in his eyes now, so worked out and desperate to come, and Louis wasn’t sure there was a better sight in the world. He thought about it for a moment, knowing that the past few times they’d tried to have Louis top, it hadn’t worked out.

“Babe, it’s a bit difficult for me to fuck you now, I don’t-”

“No, shit, against the wall. Do me against the wall, I can stand on my good leg. Please Lou - I really need it, need you-” Louis shivered at the way Harry was begging for his cock and he nodded, carefully sliding the toy out of Harry, throwing it onto the bed next to his body, admiring how open and lube slick his hole was. He watched Harry carefully get up off the bed, the bottle of his lube in his hand as he stumbled over to one of their bedroom walls, back against it as he stroked his cock, watching Louis undress himself. 

“You’re so fucking hot Lou… I married the sexiest man in the world, I swear..” Louis watch precome bead from the tip of his cock as Harry stroked, red cheeked, hair a sweaty mess atop his head. “Got me so hot thinking about you I started wanking while you were gone, couldn’t resist getting something to play with… missed it…”

“Never seen you use one before,” Louis said, shoving his boxers down his thighs, pleased the room felt warm enough now. “You like it?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed out, heart beating faster as Louis got closer, pressing their bare bodies together, hard cocks grazing making them both moan low in their chests. “I like being full… not as good as this though.” At that, he reached down and circled Louis’ cock with his own hand, stroking up and down, spreading the lube on his hand around Louis’ shaft and driving Louis wild with desire. “Damn, I love you so much Louis… now get in me… please.”

“How…” Louis tailed off, a little stunned when Harry turned himself around, chest and palms against the wall as he spread his legs, bearing his full weight on his good leg, the other just resting on the floor. “Okay, like this then.” He took his cock in his own hand and lined up behind Harry, a shudder of desire filling his body. Their sex life was pretty adventurous but he’d never fucked Harry against a wall before, and he quite liked the idea now it was happening. “Ready?”

“Fuck, get in now!” Harry groaned, scrabbling one hand behind him, grabbing Louis’ ass and pulling him closer. Slowly, Louis pressed forwards, the head of his cock catching on Harry’s rim and before he could move anymore, Harry shoved backwards, Louis’ length sliding fully into him. “Louis - holy fuck…” Harry’s forehead hit the wall as he tried to cope with the sting and burn of being penetrated again after so long, and Louis just steadied himself, trying desperately not to come too soon, wanting to make this last.

“Gonna fuck you so good, you can’t walk,” Louis mumbled, slowly starting to rock his hips, feeling Harry’s body respond to his every move. He picked up the pace as he felt Harry start to circle back against him, hands pressing hard against the wall as he tried to keep his balance, letting Louis take charge for the most part. “Feel so tight baby… love being inside you, so good for me…”

“You feel amazing, Lou… love this, love being so full.. Oh yes, fuck-” Louis smirked as he started to piston his hips a little faster, spreading his feet slightly so he could fuck up into his husband, both panting a bit heavier by now, feeling a little out of it thanks to the warmth of the room, their sweaty bodies gliding together. “Oh my god, yes, yes- faster, harder, please Louis-”

“Fuck, okay,” Louis said, grasping Harry’s hips as he started to fuck him harder, his back already aching with the weight of trying to keep them both upright. The sound of their skin slapping filled their bedroom, and Louis licked up Harry’s spine, tongue mopping up the beads of sweat running down, feeling Harry shiver. “You good? Your leg okay?”

“Just, fuck, yeah, keep going please-” Harry said, voice raspy by now as Louis continued to pound away at him, fingers digging in, and Louis felt sure he was going to leave bruises later on. He could feel his orgasm burning in his stomach and he brought a hand around, stroking Harry’s hard cock as he thrust harder, chasing his own release. “Come in me, Lou..”

“Oh, oh god, I’m coming Haz…” Louis slid his hands up and grabbed Harry’s waist, pushing him hard against the wall as he started to come, feeling a little dizzy with the strength of it, legs feeling like jelly. He didn't stop moving though, and once he slowed down, he rested his forehead between Harry’s shoulder blades, breathing heavily, fingers still wrapped loosely around his cock. He came to and started stroking again, seeking Harry’s release.

“No, Lou… turn me around, want to come on you..” Harry rasped out, and Louis slid his spent cock out of his body, wincing as the air hit him, cock dripping with his own come, the rest leaking down Harry’s leg. Harry started hopping to turn around so Louis reached down, grabbing him under his bum and swivelling him quickly, his back hitting the wall with a slap, making Harry groan.

He stood and wanked himself, keeping Louis close with one hand wrapped around the back of his neck, muttering filthy words under his breath, eyes dark and heavy with arousal, still dripping with Louis’ release. “Oh shit… fuck, love you, love you so much, my Lou…” Harry chanted, thumbing over the head and pushing his hips forward as he came, covering Louis’ crotch and stomach with his own come, body throbbing. 

His leg finally gave out when he had finished coming, and Louis took his weight, all but carrying him back over to the bed, both naked and sweating, but neither man minded. Louis laid him out carefully, kissing his lips gently before he went to their ensuite, grabbing a warm flannel and coming out to clean them both down, joining Harry again, curling his bare body around Harry’s.

“Leg okay? You alright?” Louis asked again, concerned it was too much for Harry. “Babe? Talk to me…”

“Sorry… yeah, s’all good,” Harry mumbled, fully sated and spent. “Just… god, I needed that. Needed you so bad, Lou. Make me feel so good, baby.”

“Love you, Haz.” 

“Love you too,” Harry said, letting his eyes shut as his body fell asleep. He felt perfect, so in love. Everything felt perfect.

It was just two weeks later that everything fell apart.

*****

Mid-October arrived, and with it, so did cooler autumn weekends. Jacob was being taken out and about by their families since Harry still wasn’t great on his feet for long periods of time, although his mobility was improving and his physio was certainly strengthening his legs. Louis had returned back to work and Harry was on his own most of the time at home, Anne or Jay often popping in to check he was okay and that he had everything he needed. He didn't admit it but he longed for their visits, helping pass the time by until his boys came home and made everything right in his world again. 

Jacob had been invited out by Tristan and his mum that weekend to celebrate Tristan’s eighth birthday, and they were going bowling and then out for lunch. Jacob and Louis had spent a good while in Tesco a few days before selecting the perfect birthday present, and Jacob had asked Harry to help him wrap it, stating ‘he’s just much better at it than you, Daddy, sorry’ to a forlorn Louis, Harry just chuckling away as he grabbed the scissors and sellotape and sat down at the kitchen table waiting for his son.

Jacob had dressed in his best jeans and jumper for the party, and had happily waved goodbye to Harry and Louis who were stood at the front door as Tristan’s mum helped him into the spare car seat in the back of her car, waving frantically as they drove away. Harry returned to the songwriting he’d been working on for the past few weeks, aware that Comic Relief was approaching. The lyrics were done, and the melody was nearly completed too. He had arranged with his band to meet in the studio the following week to start laying down the track, aware the release date was approaching.

Harry had also started to sort out the video he and Louis had to make for Comic Relief. Things had had to be changed thanks to Harry’s accident, but the media team had been very considerate and had made new arrangements with Harry’s management team, and Harry was looking forward to getting that going, the pair booked in for some sort of visit in just ten days time. Harry felt a little nervous, not knowing what to expect but at the same time, he was proud to have been given such a good opportunity to make a difference to people who deserved it, and he was excited to be doing in the public eye with Louis too.

Harry was sat on the sofa in the living room, strumming at chords on his guitar while Louis prepared something for their lunch in the kitchen. He’d been researching recipes that would aid Harry in his recovery, and thanks to that, Harry had had some amazing meals that he hoped Louis would continue to make long after his leg was better. He reached forwards to grab his notepad when he heard Louis’ phone buzzing on the windowsill where it was sat on charge.

“Lou! Phone’s ringing babe!” Louis came through, blowing Harry a kiss as he frowned slightly at the screen, answering the call.

“Hello? Rachel, slow down, what’s wrong? He’s what?” Louis’ face went pale as he listened, and Harry threw his guitar down, clumsily getting to his feet and hurrying over to Louis when he realised it was Tristan’s mum on the phone. “Okay, where are you?”

“What is it?” Harry whispered, but Louis batted him away, listening intently. 

“Okay, just - try and keep him calm and we’ll be there as soon as we can. I’m so sorry about this… see you soon, okay, bye love.” He shoved his phone into his pocket and sighed, looking with worried eyes up at Harry. “That was Rachel. Jacob’s… well, he’s having some sort of meltdown. He’s been fine all morning and then they decided to go to the park after because it’s a nice day and he just… he lost it, Haz. We have to go and get him.”

“Fuck,” Harry mumbled as they headed out to the car, ignoring the fact neither of them had a coat despite the chilly day. Harry carefully lifted his bad leg into the car and the pair sat in silence as Louis drove towards the park. 

Louis felt a little nervous by now. He hadn’t had the courage to bring Harry back here since his accident, and he was worried that this might be too much. He sort of wished he’d left Harry at home and had dealt with this himself, but at the same time, he knew Harry would never have agreed to staying at home when he knew Jacob needed him. Louis sneaked his hand across the car, grasping Harry’s hand and holding on tight as he drove, eyes straight on the road, heart racing in his chest at the thought of what he might find.

His eyes raked around as they drove past the park, but as they approached the main gates, it was easy to see where Rachel and Jacob were. Rachel was on the floor on her knees, trying desperately to hold on to a screaming Jacob, who was bright red and trying to push her away, looking absolutely out of control and beside himself. Louis’ heart broke and he parked the car on a yellow line, not caring if he got a ticket.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered, clambering out of the car, Harry hot on his heels as he ran towards his son, wanting to make whatever was hurting him go away. “Jake, Jacob sweetheart, it’s Daddy. Darling, you need to calm down and talk to me-”

The little boy just shook his head wildly, still screaming and sobbing, hitting out at Louis now.  Rachel looked at Louis, fear on her face as she tried to explain.

“He was fine until we got here. He just stopped walking, and when I encouraged him to go inside and play with Tristan, he shook his head and started crying. When I said we needed to go in and get Tristan so we could go home, he just… well, this happened.”

Harry arrived, panting and stood, staring at the sight in front of him. “Oh my god. Lou…” he looked helplessly at Louis, and neither of them knew what to do. Jacob must have sensed movement out of the corner of his eye, and ripped himself out of Louis’ grasp then, making a beeline for Harry, still crying.

“No! No, Dad, go away! Go home, be safe, you can’t- don’t be here, it’s scary- no, Dad please GO!” He was shoving Harry away now, and it took all he had to hold himself upright and not fall over, the little boy high on adrenaline and strong despite his small stature. Harry stilled himself and bent down, trying to get Jacob’s attention.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jacob. You need to listen to me, love, okay? You’re safe. I’m safe. I’m here and Daddy’s here and Rachel’s here. Nothing can hurt you now, okay? Please take some big breaths, my love, with me…”

“No! No I can’t, I’m scared, I don’t-  you’re going to die if you don’t go home… Harry go home, please Dad go home…” The little boy’s words were coming in stutters now, changing between calling Harry his name and Dad, and Louis decided enough was enough.

“Rach, I’m gonna take him. I’m so sorry, I’ll call you later. Harry, call my Mum and get her to ours now please. Get in the car. Oh, and call Zayn. We need help now.” Harry swallowed heavily and nodded, understanding that Louis needed this right now, to take control and try and get the situation under control. Without warning, Louis knelt down and wrapped his arms tightly around Jacob’s waist, hoisting him into the air and holding him tight against his body.

The little boy kicked and screamed as he made his way towards the car, Louis staying outside the vehicle with the little boy, trying everything he could to calm him down while Harry called Zayn. it felt like hours until Zayn arrived, and he pulled in behind Louis’ car, face stricken with worry as he got out, running to join Louis.

“Jacob? What the hell, Lou?” Louis just gave him a look and Zayn nodded, understanding what Louis needed from him. “Where are the keys?” Louis turned around and Zayn took them from his pocket, opening the back door and helping Louis get a still flailing Jacob into the backseat. He met Harry’s eye and wanted to hug him as he saw tears falling freely down his cheeks, unable to do anything except sit and watch. 

Louis didn't bother with a seatbelt, his main concern being getting Jacob home as quickly as possible. He clamped his legs and arms around his son while Zayn slid in behind the wheel, starting the car and driving slowly towards Louis’ house. Louis winced with each kick and hit from Jacob, still screaming about Harry dying and being scared and hating himself, but held on, repeating quietly that he was there, that he was safe and that they were going home.

Zayn pulled into the driveway, watching as Harry hobbled out of the car to open the front door, and he held open the back door for Louis, watching him struggle to get Jacob out. The boy was tiring by now, but was still battling against Louis’ hold, and Zayn decided to take over. He reached in the car and with fresh, strong arms, lifted the boy away from Louis, marching him into the house, settling down on the sofa, holding Jacob, stroking his head with one hand. Harry was sat on the edge of the armchair, helplessly sitting there, still crying quietly. 

Louis entered with Jay behind him, both looking full of concern, and Harry watched as Jay’s face filled with shock at seeing the state Jacob was in. Her professional demeanour kicked in and she reached out, holding Louis’ hand for a second.

“Louis, Harry, you need to go. Leave me and Zayn with Jacob. Upstairs, just… leave us. Please.” They nodded, and Louis held out his hand, letting Harry grip it as they silently left the room, going up the stairs and sitting on their bed. They listened out, Louis relieved to hear Jacob’s cries finally subsiding after a while, and he slumped backwards, feeling emotionally drained.

“What the fuck was that?” he mumbled out, reaching for Harry, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. “I’ve never… god, he’s never been like that. Are you alright, sweetheart? I’m sorry if I was rude to you, we just needed to get out of there and I knew you couldn’t do anything with your leg…”

“No, I got it. Don’t worry about me. It’s Jacob I’m worried about. That scared me, Lou. I didn't know what the fuck to do… I’m the worst Dad in the world.”

“Hey, enough. I didn't know either, and I’ve been his dad a lot longer than you, and I work with kids. I’m meant to be able to deal with this sort of thing. I just… I didn't have a clue, Haz. That’s why I got you to get Zayn and my mum… somebody not there, someone new he might talk to.” Harry just nodded, pressing his lips together in a tight line, feeling very odd. It had disturbed him more than he cared to admit seeing Jacob behave like that, and the things he had been screaming were running through his mind.

Harry wriggled until he was laying down, and Louis soon joined him, his head on Harry’s chest as they both laid in silence, minds too busy to even think about drifting off to sleep, both desperate to get downstairs to their son, even though they knew that had to wait for the go ahead that it was okay to do so. Eventually, a knock came at the door, and Jay peered in.

“Can I come in?” Louis sat up and nodded, as Harry struggled to sit up, looking at Jay with worried eyes again. “Okay, he’s calm now. Zayn’s got him in the sitting room, he’s nearly asleep, he’s completely exhausted from whatever that was.”

“I’ve never, ever seen him like this, Mum. I was so fucking scared, I don’t even-”

“What was it, Jay?” Harry said, wanting to get the point, needing to know. He could feel a lump in his throat that he was struggling to swallow down, and he felt Louis grab his hand, holding tightly as they waited for Jay to speak.

“Okay, so. Now, don’t be upset, this is no-one’s fault, it’s just… he’s struggling. Harry’s accident has affected him more than any of us realised. Going back to that park today with his friend was a huge trigger, and clearly brought back all the memories of what happened with Harry that day. His mind went into an almost catatonic state, reliving it over and over until he had lost control of himself, and that’s what you saw. He wasn’t really lucid, he was full of fear, and stuck in a cycle he couldn’t get out of.”

“Oh my god,” Harry mumbled, crying now and Louis pulled him close, holding around his waist as Harry dipped his head, crying into his shoulder. “I broke him… this is, it’s all my fault-”

“No, Harry, it isn’t. That little boy has been building this up for a while. I worried about it when he was staying with us and you two were in hospital. But clearly, he’s not spoken to anyone about his worries, and I think Harry, you arriving at the park was another reminder. He has a genuine, deep-rooted fear of you dying and leaving him, and it’s taken me and Zayn until now to assure him you’re okay, that you’re up here and waiting for him.”

“What do we do?” Louis asked, voice heavy with emotion, heart broken for his young son. He felt immensely guilty at not realising what Jacob was bottling up inside, until he couldn’t contain it anymore.

“I think he needs to speak to somebody professional about his worries,” Jay said softly. “I don’t know how you feel about counsellors, or something similar, but he needs to talk, Lou. He needs to be able to tell someone his fears about Harry, to talk through what happened that day and how it made him feel. You have to remember, he was alone until you got there, and none of us can really fathom what was going through his little head.”

“Can I see him? Jay, I need to- please,” Harry’s voice cracked and she stood up, holding him close for a minute. He sobbed into her chest, and when he pulled away, Louis handed him a tissue, letting him compose himself for a minute. “Sorry, I’m okay. I need to see him.” Jay nodded and they headed out of the room together, the house silent now.

Louis helped him carefully descend the stairs, and they held hands as they walked in the sitting room, a little nervous about what they’d find. Thankfully, Jacob wasn’t crying. He was, in fact, asleep on Zayn’s lap, his sweaty, red face pressed to his chest, clutching Zayn’s t-shirt in one fist, his back heaving with his shallow breaths. Zayn lifted a finger to his lips, making sure they were quiet as Harry sat down next to him, a hand on his son’s leg.

“He’s just fallen asleep. I’m gonna stay here as long as he needs me, I think if I try and move, he’ll wake up and he needs to rest. You okay, you two?” His eyes flicked between Louis and Harry, full of concern. They nodded, and Harry sighed.

“Thank you. For being here Zayn, for being there for him, for us. I just-”

“Don’t thank me,” Zayn whispered back. “Anytime, you both know that.” Jay and Louis made their way to the kitchen, leaving Zayn and Harry with a sleeping Jacob.

“You alright, darling?” Jay said, opening her arms for her son to step inside, which he did, resting his forehead on her shoulder. “You must have been so scared but I’m so proud of you. Zayn told me you just took charge and got Jacob into the car, and dealt with him. You’re such an amazing Dad, Lou.”

“Yeah, so amazing I didn't realise my son needed help,” he scoffed, stepping back and leaning against the counter as Jay started to make tea for the four of them. “He never gave a hint anything was wrong. He’s been fine, like, he’s been normal. How did I not see this coming? Fuck, Haz is gonna blame himself, I-”

“Lou, baby, breathe, sweetheart. No-one saw this. You couldn’t have known that his friend’s mum was going to take him there today, and no-one would have seen this coming. But now we know what’s wrong, we can deal with it. I’m here for you all, you know that, and so is Zayn. Jake might find it easier talking to someone who isn’t you or Harry, no offence.”

“No, I get that, it’s okay,” Louis said, not opposed to the idea of Jacob talking to someone else as long as it helped. He helped her carry in the teas, passing them to Harry and Zayn, and the four sat quietly, the television on low in the background for some white noise for Jacob as the little boy continued to sleep it off. 

Around an hour later, Jacob started to stir, and everyone went quiet, wanting to wake up slowly and at his own pace. He sniffed and nuzzled into Zayn for a minute until his eyes flew open, looking wildly until they landed on Harry. He climbed off Zayn and ran at Harry, collapsing into his arms, burying his face in Harry’s neck. Harry lifted him up, sitting him on his good thigh and held him close, the two just holding each other quietly. Louis’ heart wanted to break at the sight of Harry like that, eyes closed and holding their son like he was going to disappear, and he gave them their moment, not wanting to get between them.

“I’m gonna go, Lou, you three need time together,” Jay said, standing up and hugging her son. She walked over to where Jacob and Harry were sat and kissed both of them on top of the head, Harry giving her a grateful smile before she slipped out, with Louis promising that he’d call later that night and fill her in. Zayn soon joined her, and Louis hugged him tightly before he left, ever grateful for his amazing best friend.

“Thank you,” Harry mouthed at him, wishing there was more he could say to Louis’ best friend, knowing they probably wouldn’t have gotten through that without him. Soon, he, Louis and Jacob were alone again, and the little boy still hadn’t moved from Harry’s lap. Louis went and sat next to them, finding Jacob’s hand and holding it until at last, he sat up, red eyed and tired looking, not making eye contact with either of his dads.

“Oh darling,” Louis said, stroking his thumb over the back of his son’s little hand. As much as Jacob liked to profess he was a grown up boy, and that he was growing up, Louis realised then how little he still was, and how much he’d had to deal with in his little life. “You don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to, okay? Just know that whenever you’re ready, we’re here for you.”

Jacob sniffed and nodded, letting his head fall back against Harry’s chest again, snuggling in close. “I got scared.”

Harry’s eyed widened as he realised his son was opening up already, and he looked to Louis who sat back, wanting Harry to take the lead. As much as Jacob was his son, this was to do with Harry, and it was the two of them who needed to talk.

“Scared of what, darling?” Jacob looked up and locked eyes with Harry for a second, looking like he was taking in every feature of his face. A little hand came up and cupped Harry’s cheek, before it trailed across his lips and then down to rest on his chest again. “It’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“I don’t want to lose you Dad, not ever. At the park. I thought you were dead. I tried so hard to wake you up. I was shaking you and crying but you didn't wake up and I thought that you’d gone to heaven.”

Louis turned away, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears much longer if Jacob continued to talk like this, and he took in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. 

“And I know heaven’s a nice place, cos they teached us at school and stuff, but I don’t want you to go to heaven, not yet. I haven’t finished loving you yet, and I know Daddy would be so sad forever if you went to heaven and left us behind.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Harry reassured him, tears burning in his own eyes at Jacob’s words. “I know what happened to me was horrible, and I can’t imagine how scared you were, but I promise you, I never ever meant to leave you. I’ve told you before that you’re my hero because you saved me, and I mean it. I’m sorry you had to do that and that you were so scared. I am so, so, sorry Jacob.” At that, he started to cry, and Jacob’s face fell again.

“Daddy, don’t cry. I love you so much and my heart hurts when you cry, please-” He sniffed and Harry grabbed the tissue Louis was handing him, wiping away his own tears before turning to Jacob and kissing both of his cheeks. “Please don’t leave us… don’t leave me. I love my family so much, we’re the best Tomlinson’s in the world, and one day you and Daddy will go to heaven and I know that but… not yet. Not til I’m a big boy and I won’t be alone.”

“I’m yours forever,” Harry promised him, vowing that whatever happened from here on out, Jacob would be his number one priority, that he would spend as much time with him as he could and show him that he always planned to be around. He knew, of course, things happened, like the accident but he didn't want Jacob to live his life in fear of that. It wasn’t healthy, and he was too young to be worried about such things. “I love you, you and your daddy. You are both the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? You make me smile every single day without fail, you make me want to be a better husband and a better Dad, and you were the reason I fought every day to get out of hospital, so I could come home to you.”

Jacob gave him a wobbly smile at that, and reached out for Louis’ hand. “You don’t ever need to be a better Dad cos you’re already the best. You and Daddy are both the best.”

They all hugged then, and Louis looked up at Harry before he pulled away, feeling overcome with emotion. 

“I think we need to talk about this more, love, but not now,” Louis said, wanting Jacob to know this talk wasn’t over, that he needed to get it out one way or another. “I might think about finding you someone to talk to, that might help you think about things, and not be so scared about what happened or losing Dad, okay?”

“Someone like who?” Jacob asked, a little worried.

“A special person who works with children that have seen bad things, or had upsetting things happen, darling. They can help you by listening really hard to you, and giving you ways to think about things, so it doesn’t seem to scary anymore. I can come with you if you like, but I think it might help?”

“Okay,” Jacob said in a small voice, nodding slightly. “I’m tired, Daddy.”

“Let’s go and get you in the bath while Daddy makes some dinner, huh?” Harry asked, and Jacob nodded, sliding off his lap and taking Harry’s hand, waiting for his Dad to stand up and follow. “Love you, Lou.”

“Love you too,” Louis whispered back as he watched his boys head out of the room and upstairs, sighing. This was all weighing heavily on his shoulders, and he knew the next few weeks and months weren’t going to be easy ones. One way or another, Jacob had to deal with what had happened with Harry, and Louis had a feeling that this was just the calm before the storm. 

Later that night, Jacob had enjoyed a bath, a lovely dinner of his favourite sausages, chips and beans, and then several chapters of their book with Harry before he finally let sleep overcome him.  Louis had slipped out while the story was being read and called Jay and Zayn, assuring them both that Harry and Jacob were okay, and that they'd be talking more about what had happened over the next few days, and that he was definitely going to look into getting some professional help for Jacob.

Louis had slipped in the shower once Jacob was asleep, leaving Harry watching the TV in their bedroom in just his boxers, jotting down something in the journal he kept in the bedside table. Louis hadn’t written in his much lately, but while he was shampooing his hair, he pondered writing his thoughts about everything down, wondering if it might help him to deal with things toe.

He stepped from the glass shower cubicle and wrapped a fluffy towel around his waist, heading to the sink to shave when he heard it. He stopped for a second, rubbing at his hair with a second towel, and let his head hang to the floor as he realised what it was he was hearing. He slowly opened the door and walked quietly out, heart-breaking at what he saw. Harry was curled up in the middle of the bed, holding Louis’ pillow and was sobbing his heart out. 

Louis hurriedly grabbed some boxers from his top drawer and pulled them on, not caring his skin was still fairly damp and he laid on the bed, pulling Harry into his arms. There was a struggle for a second until Harry gave in, and cried into Louis’ chest, hands grabbing at his husband as he wept, the emotion of today finally hitting him.

“I fucked everything up, Lou. I broke our son, and he thinks I’m gonna leave him, I don’t - I couldn’t-”

“Sshhh,” Louis tried, rubbing Harry’s back, holding him close. “Baby, come on. He isn’t broken, he’s just struggling. We’ll talk to him, get him some help… he  _ will _ be okay, Harry. Just give him time. I love you sweetheart, please don’t cry..”

“Lou, I never want to leave him, or you. Ever. You two are my fucking everything, I promise. None of this means anything if I don’t have you. I can’t even - I want you both, forever. And any more kids we have. But even if we don’t, he’s enough, Lou. He’s always been enough for me, you and him. You’re both enough… everything to me. My everything.”

Louis swallowed down the lump in his throat, unable to say anything back to Harry’s declaration, heart full of love for this boy who had only been in their lives a short while but had made himself so much part of them, they couldn’t even function without him. Harry loved him and Jacob so fiercely, so honestly and so beautifully that Louis felt like the luckiest man in the world.

“Lou.. he’s enough, I promise. Whatever happens… he’s enough. He will always, always be enough. He’s my boy, Lou. I love him so much-” Harry sobbed again, and Louis just shushed him, rocking him gently until his own tears started to fall, hoping that when morning came, he and Harry could start to build things back together again, as they always did… together.


	42. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis start to put things in motion for their son, and then the family have some much-needed fun for Halloween...

“Mr and Mr Tomlinson?” 

Louis looked up as an older lady stepped out from behind the wooden double doors, and together they stood up, linking hands as they smiled and walked towards her, Louis making sure his pace was slow enough. Every day, Harry was improving with his leg, his physio was extremely pleased with his progress although he’d moved several appointments to spend more time with Jacob after his outburst a few weeks ago. 

Since then, things had settled down a bit. Louis had made sure to make himself scarce around the house for a few hours each weekend so Harry and Jacob had some one-on-one time together, which both of them absolutely adored. They did everything from Harry teaching Jacob how to sew, making Louis a special felt heart with googly eyes, and a H, L and J sewn into the front (by Harry of course), to baking, and even just doing puzzles together. It got Jacob talking, and he’d confessed more his feelings to Harry in this time, which Harry later shared with Louis. As much as it hurt to hear the things Jacob was bottling up, both of them knew it was far better for him to get them out, and have his voice heard. 

Louis had kept true on his promise to his Mum though, and this was their first meeting with a potential counsellor for Jacob. They had been referred through their GP, and when they discovered the waiting list was incredibly long, Harry had paid for them to go private, and had another clinic in a nearby town willing to take Jacob’s case on. Harry had been insistent on meeting the person first, before they sent Jacob in, and Louis had agreed. Now, though, both men felt nervous and really had no idea what to expect.

“Please, take a seat,” the lady encouraged, pointing at an empty sofa alongside her desk. Louis helped Harry sit down before taking his place next to him, their linked hands on Harry’s leg, and Louis could feel how sweaty Harry’s palm was, and how this was affecting him. “Okay, you both look nervous, which is completely understandable, but I assure you, I’m just here to help. Let me introduce myself, then you could both do the same?” They nodded, and waited for her to speak.

“My name’s Dr Katie Chandler, I’m a clinical psychologist specialising in children’s mental health. I’ve been doing this job for 37 years now, and I like to think I’ve helped lots of children and families get through some quite traumatic times. I like to give you coping strategies, as well as a safe outlet in which to talk things through. I’m married myself, my husband is a surgeon, and we have three children, twins who are 24 and a son who is twenty. I like people to know that… makes me feel more human I think.”

Louis liked her already. He looked to Harry who nodded, letting him go first. “Okay, I’m Louis Tomlinson. I’m 28 years old, and I’m Jacob’s dad, his biological parent, but that doesn’t matter to us. I’m a TA in a primary school, and, well, I’m here to get some help for our son.” He squeezed Harry’s hand, letting him know it was his turn.

“I’m Harry Tomlinson, Louis’ husband, and Jake’s other dad. I, um, I sing a bit, and.... Well, this is all my fault, really. I took Jacob out for a bike ride, and had an accident involving a car. I was knocked from my bike and I was unconscious, leaving Jacob on his own, and I think it’s traumatised him. Well, it clearly has. So… yeah. That’s us.”

“And your son is how old?”

“He’s seven and a half,” Harry started proudly, beating Louis to it. “He’s honestly the best kid in the world. He’s so loving and caring, just like Lou, and it kills me to see him hurting. I wish I could make it all go away, the adult part of me knows I can’t, not until he deals with what happened, but the Dad bit of me wants to wave a magic wand and make it disappear.”

“I understand,” Katie said quietly, jotting down a few notes. “Would one of you, perhaps you, Louis, explain to me what happened the day of the accident, and what Jacob had to deal with?” She listened intently as Louis launched into an explanation of exactly what took place from his point of view, and Harry listened carefully too. This was the first real time he’d heard Louis talk about the events as well, and his heart broke as his voice wobbled, clearly struggling with talking about arriving to find Harry on the floor, not moving, and their son sobbing on his body. As Louis exhaled after revealing that initially, he had thought Harry was dead, Harry looped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Louis gathered the courage to carry on, and finally finished his tale with Harry’s coming home.

“So, what is it that prompted you to seek further help for Jacob? I assume there must have been some sort of event that occured that initiated your further concerns?”

“Well, a few weeks ago, Jacob had a meltdown. He was taken back to the park where my accident happened by a friend from school and a parent, and it must have triggered his memories. We were called, and arrived to find Jacob in such a state. He was screaming and crying, out of control, and he kept pushing me away, telling me it wasn’t safe, and that he didn't want me to die. It took three of us to get him home and safe, and it was Jay, my mother in law, who came to talk him down with our best friend, Zayn.”

“Okay, I see,” Katie said, still jotting things down in a brown moleskine notebook. “And has Jacob opened up to either of you since that particular upset?”

“Um, yeah, he did tell us about his fear of losing Harry, that he doesn’t want him going anywhere. We have both reassured him countless times that Harry is here to stay, that we’re a family forever, and that although the accident was a terrible thing, these things do happen, and Harry would never have wanted to leave. Harry’s been spending time alone with Jacob too, just the two of them, and I think Jake’s really liked that.”

“That sounds great, it sounds like you have been doing all of the right things so far. Have you spoken to Jacob about the possibility of him having to come and see me to talk things through? Is that something you have discussed with him yet?”

“Yes,” Harry said, nodding along with Louis. “We’ve both been quite honest with him about the need to talk about how he feels, and I think I’m going to find a counsellor too to deal with my own feelings about everything. It’s been tough on me to see my family broken because of me, and I think it would be good for Jacob to see me admitting it might help me as well.”

“I would also encourage a few family sessions with myself, if you chose to continue Jacob’s sessions with me. It would be helpful when Jacob is more comfortable to have you both sit in on a few select sessions, so he could hear your thoughts, as well as you hear his. I actively encourage parents to play an active role in their child’s healing, so I hope you would consider that as an option to explore together.

“I think that sounds great,” Louis said, smiling softly at her. He didn't have to talk to Harry - he could tell they both had the same thoughts about this whole counselling thing, and both were very impressed with Katie. “I can’t promise he’s going to talk much, he’s not very good with strangers, and-”

“Please don’t worry, Mr Tomlinson-”

“Louis, please.”

“Sorry, Louis. I have lots of tricks up my sleeve by now to help children with their anxiety and shyness. If Jacob is ready to talk, and it does sound like you have prepared him well and encouraged him to voice his concerns and feelings, then I will provide an environment which will be conducive to him being able to do just that. I’m going to give you two a moment to talk, then I’ll be back.” She smiled and stood, tucking her notebook under her arm as she left and closed the door with a quiet click behind her.

“Okay, I like her,” Louis said immediately, turning his body to face Harry’s for a moment. “She seems kind, and like she knows what she’s talking about. This place seems lovely too. I feel I’d be happy leaving Jacob with her.”

“Me too,” Harry said with a smile. “I wonder if she can recommend someone for me, I’ll have to ask her.”

“I’m proud of you, you know. For admitting you need to talk, too, I mean. I’ve been so worried about Jake and getting him to open up that I kind of forgot for a second you went through all this as well. I love you, Haz.” He leaned forward and pecked Harry’s lips quickly before straightening back up, not wanting to get caught getting frisky with his husband on the counsellor’s couch.

“Love you too. So, are we going to say yes?” 

“I think so,” Louis said as Katie walked back in, sitting down and folding one leg over the other. “I’ve talked about it with my husband and we’d very much like you to take Jacob for his sessions, please.”

“Excellent news. I’m thrilled you’ve chosen to trust me with this, and I’m excited to meet your son. He sounds like a delightful boy, I have to say. And Harry… did you want me to speak to one of my colleagues about you coming in to talk to someone too? We could see what we can do about perhaps getting you in at or near the same time as Jacob, so it’s more convenient if that’s something you are interested in?”

“Yeah, that would be brilliant, thank you,” Harry said, watching as she tapped away at her computer for a moment before handing him a piece of paper that had just come out of her printer. “I’ll give them a call tomorrow, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. You can sort out Jacob’s initial appointment when you leave, and I encourage parents to stay for the first one. It helps the child feel safer and happier when they have familiar people around, and it gives me an idea about your family dynamic, and how Jacob interacts with the two of you as well. Is that alright?”

“Yes, of course. I’m at work so it would have to be around that and Jacob’s schooling, but I’m sure we can sort something out.” They stood up and shook Katie’s hand before they left, booking an appointment for the following week, just before Harry and Louis were going to start work on their Comic Relief project, something Harry was really excited to get stuck into. While he’d been recovering and resting, he’d found himself missing work, and couldn’t wait to get back to work, feeling more than ready to dive back into something new. 

“Daddy! Dad!” Jacob cried as Louis and Harry arrived at Anne’s, where the little boy had been staying while they’d gone for the first appointment. Louis scooped him up into his arms and let him lean over to kiss Harry, before they all made their way into the kitchen, watching as Anne made a pot of tea which she sat on the kitchen table. “Was the doctor lady nice? Does she want to see me?”

“She was very nice. Her name was Dr Chandler, and she’d very much like to see you. Dad and I thought she was lovely, and we’re all going to see her next Wednesday after school. Does that sound okay?”

“I guess,” Jacob said quietly, seemingly unsure. “Do I have to go on my own? I don’t know her and it might be a bit scary…”

“No, we’re coming with you,” Harry reassured him, looking up at his mum with a grateful expression when she sat a cup of tea down in front of him. “I’m going to see one of her other doctor friends too, to talk about things. Just like you, love.”

“Really?” Jacob asked, wriggling onto Harry’s lap. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah, it is,” Harry quipped, smiling at Jacob, then at Louis. “You’re a brave boy, and you make me want to be brave too.” Jacob jumped off and ran back to Robin and his colouring, leaving Anne, Harry and Louis alone. 

“So, it was good, then?” Anne asked. Harry had spent hours talking to her about things while Louis and Jacob were at school, and talking to her had helped unburden himself of a bit of the guilt he’d been carrying about affecting Jacob in such a way. 

“Yeah, she was so nice,” Louis said while Harry sipped on his tea. “I think she’ll be good for Jacob. She’s a bit older so has a lot of experience, and I think once he starts talking to her, it’ll happen quite easily, that he’ll want to tell her everything. I hope so, anyway.”

“I’m sure he will, love,” Anne said, reaching a hand across the table to take Louis’. “And Harry, I’m so proud of you too, sweetheart. Admitting you need to talk to someone is a big step, and I’m glad you’re doing it too, I really am. Love you, both of you. You’ve done such an amazing job with that boy, and I just hope you know that I think you are doing amazing jobs as his parents. You haven’t had it easy, what with touring, and being separated, and then the accident, but you’re so strong, all of you together. I feel blessed to have you all as my family, and to watch you grow together, and how much you love each other.”

“Thanks, Mum,” Harry said softly, taking her other hand. “I’m proud of us, too. I’d do anything for these Tomlinson boys.”

“We know,” Louis said, getting up and kissing Harry quickly, not caring Anne was watching. “And we love you to the moon and back, darling.”

“As much as all the stars,” Harry finished, closing out the little bedtime saying that he and Jacob often used together. “As much as all the stars.”

*****

A few days later brought Halloween. Harry had been honest with Louis and told him he’d never really celebrated much before, and Louis had been horrified. He’d immediately promised the rectify the situation, telling Jacob who was just as horrified at Harry’s lack of Halloween spirit, and the pair proceeded to hatch a dastardly plan to involve Harry as heavily in the day as they could.

Halloween itself was a school day, but Jacob had come home from school with a spring in his step, super excited for the trick or treating outing that Louis had promised him they would go in in their neighbourhood. Louis had spent the hours while Harry was cooking dinner decorating their front door and porch area, and even Harry had to reluctantly admit he was impressed with Louis’ decorating capabilities when he was led through the side door and around the front of their house.

Jacob hadn’t been too hungry, but when Harry had threatened him with not going out that evening, he had gobbled down the homemade chicken nuggets and wedges Harry had prepared them, dashing off upstairs afterwards to throw his costume on. He’d called Louis after a while to aid him in his facepaint, and Harry was instructed to stay downstairs while they prepared their outfits.

What Louis didn't know, however, was that Harry had come up with his own costume for the party the two of them were attending at Zayn’s place later that night, after they had dropped Jacob at Jay’s, where he’d be staying the night so Harry and Louis could have some much needed grown up fun with their own friends. Harry laughed as he heard Jacob squeal and run around, Louis chastising him, trying to make him sit quietly while he painted his face.

“Dad! Are you ready?” Jacob called down the stairs, and Harry chuckled, turning himself on the chair so he was facing the living room door. “Dad!”

“Alright, yeah, I’m ready!” Harry shouted back, and soon little footsteps thundered down the stairs, Harry grinning at the sound. “Am I going to be scared?”

“Petrified!” Jacob shrieked back and jumped in through the doorway. “I am going to suck your blood, hahahahah!” He cackled and rubbed his hands together before putting them on his hips under his cape. He was dressed as a vampire, and Harry thought Louis had done a great job with the facepaint. Jacob had a big grin that went against the evil laugh that erupted from him, and Harry was too endeared for words. It was at times like these he realised how much he’d missed out on with Jacob growing up, and he was determined to make the most out of these times now. 

“Wow, you look amazing, love! Stay still, let me take a photo of you.” Jacob posed for the camera a few times until Harry had taken enough pictures, and ran off again, fetching the little pumpkin styled bucket he’d persuaded Louis to buy him in Tesco, dumping it by Harry’s feet before darting off again to empty the bags of sweets they’d bought into a large bowl, ready for their own trick or treaters.

“Dad, go and get ready, come on! We’ll miss all the good sweets!” Jacob whined, and Harry chuckled, slowly making his way up the stairs, listening to Louis singing softly behind their closed bedroom door. He didn't interrupt, just standing and listening for a moment until he finished before he pushed the door open, smiling at his gorgeous husband.

“Wow, suits you,” Harry teased, looking at his own vampire. Louis was covered in white face paint, a trail of fake blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, down his face and neck to the costume below. He looked great, and Harry knew he wasn’t going to be able to pull off the look like Louis had. “Kiss me, my little blood sucker…”

“Want to suck something else right now…” Louis mumbled, grabbing Harry by the hips and kissing him, leaving white patches on Harry’s own face and in his hair. “But I’ll save that for later, hmm?” Harry groaned and grabbed Louis’ hand, pushing it down and against his half-hard dick, turning him on even more. “Harold. We don’t have time.” 

“Boring,” Harry mumbled, stepping away to strip off and pull on the matching costume Louis had bought him earlier in the week. Louis didn't take his eyes off him, even when Harry pulled his boxers off, pulling on a clear pair and wriggling up the black trousers, over his cast. They were far too baggy, and Harry ended up putting on a belt, hiding it under the flowing top, letting Louis fasten the cape to his collar. “Paint me up, baby..”

“Oh I will,” Louis teased, nudging his crotch against Harry’s hip. “Later, though. Be good.”

Harry laughed. “With the facepaint you dirty minded sod. Come on, get on with it.” Before long, Harry’s face matched Louis, and Jacob cheered when they finally arrived downstairs. Harry took a selfie of the three of them, and quickly posted the earlier photo of Jacob on Twitter, knowing fans loved it when they got glimpses of his son. Louis was happy enough to post it since Jacob was covered in facepaint, and Harry watched as the likes and retweets flooded in.

“Come on, come on! Can we please go? I’m so excited,” Jacob said, jumping up and down in the hallway, bucket in hand. “Please, please, please-”

“Okay, hold your horses,” Louis said, sitting Harry down so he could help slide his Vans onto his feet. They clashed a bit with the outfit but thanks to the cast, there wasn’t a lot he could do about that. Louis grabbed his keys from the side and they headed out, the road already fairly dark. Jacob was a little more apprehensive now they were actually outside in the darkness, but held onto Louis’ hand and marched them off to the house next door, similarly decorated like their own.

“Ring the bell then, love,” Harry prompted and nodded as Jacob looked back at him for the okay. He did so, and the door creaked open, a man in a mask opening it.

“Um, trick or treat?” Jacob asked quietly, and when an answer didn't come, he ran behind Harry, clinging on to his white shirt. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I was just playing,” their neighbour said, lifting the mask and sitting it on his forehead. Harry encouraged Jacob out from behind him and the man held out a big bowl of sweets, letting Jacob pick a few of his favourites. “You look cool, Jake, who did your face paint?”

“Daddy,” Jacob said proudly, chucking his gains into his bucket with a clunk. “Thank you, Happy Halloween!” He grabbed Harry’s hand and the three of them continued on down the road, stopping at the houses that were decorated, ignoring the ones that weren’t in case they didn't celebrate Halloween. 

Louis and Harry stopped and chatted to a few parents, all aware of who Harry was but no one made a big deal of it, just spoke to him as Jacob’s dad and Louis’ husband, and Harry loved that more than anything. 

“Hey, pick your rubbish up,” Harry reminded Jacob as one of his sweetie wrappers fell onto the pavement. “Remember we take our rubbish home and put it in the bin there. Leave it in your bucket.”

“Sorry, the wind blew it out,” Jacob said, hurrying to pick it up. “You want a lolly, Dad?”

“No, I’m alright, thank you love.”

“I’m going to take some to Nanny’s later and share it with my aunties and uncle,” Jacob said, and Harry’s heart was full of pride again at his son’s loving and sharing nature. They said goodbye to the couple they were chatting to and made their way to the final few houses, Jacob grabbing a last few treats from their bowls before they made their way back in, all cool now thanks to the cold October night air.

“Hot chocolates all round,” Harry said, bustling about in the kitchen while Jacob set out his sweets, Harry a little surprised by the amount of stuff he’d gotten. He took a quick photo before Jacob started scooping it up, jokingly batting Harry as he tried to grab handfuls, Louis looking on fondly from the doorway. They sat at the table to drink, and Louis promised Jacob he could go to Jay’s dressed up, the little boy keen to impress his aunts and uncle with his costume, even though Louis was sure Doris and Ernest really wouldn’t care less about his outfit once he produced the sweets he was intent on sharing.

“Right, in the car, I’ve got your overnight bag,” Louis called from the hallway. “I’ll be back soon, babe, get ready, yeah?”

“Okay, love. Have a great time with Nanny and Grandad Dan, Jake. Love you lots.” Jacob hugged Harry tightly, rubbing off some of his facepaint onto Harry’s outfit but he didn't mind. They kissed quickly, and soon the front door shut, leaving Harry alone. He hurried upstairs, as quickly as his broken leg allowed, and stripped off, rubbing the facepaint off in the bathroom, groaning at how long it took to fully remove from himself.

He grabbed the small carrier bag containing his costume and smirked to himself as he pulled it on, knowing Louis’ reaction would be worth it. He knew Louis wasn’t expecting anything like this, and when he was ready, he stood in front of the mirror, admiring his look and fixing the last few things in his place. He scraped his hair back and did that in the style he’d been intending since he thought of this costume and when he was done, sat on the edge of the bed, awaiting Louis’ arrival home.

The front door banged shut then, making Harry jump. He stood, facing the door, listening to Louis shout his way through the house, and up the stairs.

“Fucking freezing out there, can’t wait to get to Zayn’s and have some drinks, that’ll warm me up. I hope you’re ready, told him we’d be- oh holy fuck. Shit. Fuck me, Harry. What the-” He continued to babble until he ran out of words, eyes raking up and down Harry’s body. He was in the tightest, smallest pair of orange shorts Louis had ever seen, had black X’s taped over his nipples, and his hair was in space buns atop his head. “Fucking Miley Cyrus… you look  _ obscene. _ ”

“You like it?” Harry smirked, carefully giving him a twirl, feeling Louis’ eyes on every inch of his bare skin. Luckily, Harry wasn’t afraid to show off his body, he worked hard to maintain his slender frame, and knew Louis appreciated it, every single bit of it. 

“Um, yeah, just a bit,” Louis said, crowding Harry back against the bed. “Do we have time…”

“Nope,” Harry said, popping the final letter, making Louis groan outwardly. “Come on, finish off that face paint and we can get going.” Louis reluctantly left him there, spread out on the bed and pulled his costume off, dragging on the other things he’d got for himself. Soon enough, they were ready and Harry pulled on a long coat, covering the majority of his body as he got into the passenger seat, switching on the heating while he waited for Louis.

The drive to Zayn’s didn't take long, and they wandered into the house together, hand in hand. When he felt warm and more comfortable, Harry peeled off his coat to a chorus of wolf-whistles, blushing at the reaction to his (lack of) costume. Louis put his hands on his hips, throwing filthy looks around the room.

“Oi, eyes off. My husband, my body to admire, thank you very much.” And to assert his authority, he grabbed Harry’s waist and pulled him into a quick but very dirty and deep kiss, a few of their friends turning away in disgust at the outward public display of affection. Harry laughed when Louis pulled away, biting gently on his bottom lip. He was turned on, but he had to be careful as there wasn’t exactly anywhere to hide a burgeoning erection from their gathered friends. Louis turned his phone on them, snapping a quick photo which he sent to his Mum, receiving a series of shocked face emojis in reply which made him laugh, showing Harry who giggled as well. 

“Want a drink, Lou?” he rumbled, and Louis shivered at the deep timbre of his voice, knowing his husband felt as turned on as he did. “I’m not taking my meds tonight so I’m gonna have a few drinks, okay?”

“You sure?” Louis asked.

“Yep,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips quickly before making his way to the kitchen, sorting out some drinks and chatting to their friends. He didn't know a lot of them well, but the more time he and Louis spent with Zayn, the wider their circle of friends got. Stan arrived then, and soon after, Liam and Niall joined the fray, neither of them working at the moment which was nice. Harry returned with a couple of colourful drinks in his hand, walking carefully thanks to his cast.

The music turned up, and soon Zayn sidled over, hugging the pair before pulling away and raising an eyebrow at Harry’s costume. “So someone decided to come to the party nearly naked…” he mused, and Harry just grinned.

“Well, if you had a body like my husband’s, you’d want to as well, Z, don’t lie,” Louis said, pinching Harry’s bum, making him squeal and laugh. Harry sipped too quickly on his drink, aware it was going straight to his head but for the first time in a long time, he felt free. He stepped behind Louis and wrapped his arms around his waist, squeezing and burying his face in his neck, smelling the familiar scent of his husband’s body.

“Love you, look so sexy tonight like that,” Harry muttered, making Louis shiver. Zayn excused himself, sensing he was interrupting a moment and Louis carefully turned in Harry’s arms, facing him, arms up around Harry’s neck now. “Got me the sexiest husband in the room…”

“Ha, you can talk,” Louis said, pushing their hips together a bit. “You’re nearly showing everyone things that are for my eyes only, love. Make sure it stays covered up, alright?”

“Only you get that bit of me, Lou,” Harry reassured, circling his hips, feeling himself getting aroused at the small contact with Louis’ body. “Dance with me?”

Louis nodded and reached down, taking Harry’s hand and guiding him onto the makeshift dance floor that was Zayn’s living room. Apparently, his neighbours were out and this was a good excuse to turn the music up, people dancing and singing loudly, drinks in their hands, having a good time. Harry pulled Louis close and they swayed together for a moment until the track changed, Bruno Mars’  _ Locked Out of Heaven  _ coming on.

“Fuck, I love this song,” Louis said, starting to dance in front of Harry, singing along, the alcohol flowing through his veins loosening him a bit much to Harry’s delight. “Come on baby…” 

Harry obliged, singing along too, almost shouting the lines ‘Your sex takes me to paradise’, making Louis blush heavily. They continued to dance with each other, swaying their arms and hips to the beat, Louis brushing past for a kiss every now and then. The next few tracks played and their dancing got closer and dirtier as the music got louder. Eventually, Niall cheered out as he took control of the iPod, switching the track to Jason Derulo’s  _ Swalla _ , many of the guests groaning.

Harry, though, reached for Louis’ hips and pulled him close until Louis’ ass hit his crotch, the low and heavy bassline pounding through the room as he pressed forwards, swaying his hips purposefully forward into his husband, knowing Louis would be able to feel his cock hardening underneath him. Louis’ arms came up, wrapping around Harry’s neck behind him and he tilted his head, kissing Harry filthily, not caring who was watching. He sucked at his tongue, their hips moving as one, and Harry could feel himself slowly losing control.

As the song started to come to an end, Harry thought he heard Louis murmur “Oh fuck it,” and was dragged across the room, out through a small corridor near the kitchen, and was pushed into a closed door, Louis kissing him up against it. His tongue delved deep into Harry’s mouth, and Louis’ hand fumbled with the handle behind him, the door gliding open until Louis pushed Harry through it, flicking on the light and locking the door behind him.

“Can’t do that to me-” he began, grabbing at the waistband of Harry’s tiny shorts, groaning when he pulled them down to see Harry wasn’t actually wearing anything underneath. “You… fucking hell Haz…”

“No,” Harry said, reaching for him and fiddling with Louis’ belt, shoving his trousers and boxers around his ankles. “Turn around, lean over the sink.” He sat himself on the lid of the toilet seat, mesmerised at the sight of Louis’ bare arse in front of him, and he reached forwards, grabbing the round flesh with both hands and squeezing before pulling his cheeks apart, groaning at the sight.

All of a sudden, the track changed and Harry grinned up at Louis as they both recognised the song - Kiwi. “Never fucked anyone to my own song before,” he muttered, dragging his eyes back to Louis’s arse. “First time for everything…”

“What do you- oh holy fuck-” Louis mumbled as Harry’s tongue licked a broad stripe over his hole, sending shivers up and down his spine. Harry was eager, his tongue wet and licking everywhere, tiny kitten licks around his rim before delving in, splitting Louis open gently. “Fuck, Harry- I don’t- oh my god-”

Louis’ legs felt like jelly as Harry continued to lick and bite and stroke at his arse, wasting no time in pushing his tongue inside Louis, who was still open from the slow and deep sex they’d had that morning, Harry managing to spoon him from behind now his leg was recovering. He was panting, chest heaving with his breaths as Harry worked his magic tongue all over him, and before Louis knew it, he was close. The bassline of the song was pounding through the door, vibrating through the walls and floor, and Harry loved it, loved that he was getting his husband off to his own song, however narcissistic that might seem.

“Shit, oh god, Haz, I’m gonna come…”

“Not yet,” Harry rumbled against his ass, and delved back in, a hand snaking around to grip the base of Louis’ cock, preventing his orgasm for the time being. Harry’s hand stripped at Louis’ cock, using precome to help his moves and he could feel Louis bucking back against his face, pressing back to get more of Harry’s tongue, only making Harry want it even more. “Taste so good, baby..”

“Yeah, fuck me,” Louis mumbled, drunk and high on the feelings Harry was giving him, not caring how desperate he looked like this. He glanced up at the mirror, shocked by his appearance, and turned to look behind him, loving how Harry looked with his face buried between his cheeks, giving Louis the ultimate pleasure. “Need to come baby, please-”

“Go on then,” Harry said before licking again, pressing the tip of two fingers inside, and that stretch and burn was what made Louis come, Harry’s hand still working over his cock as his come dripped onto the floor, Louis struggling to keep himself quiet. “Shit, love hearing you come, sound so fucking sexy…” Louis stumbled around, loving how debauched Harry looked like this. His face was covered in spit, red cheeked and blown pupils. “Whole new meaning to these lyrics,” he teased with a wink, Kiwi still playing loudly in the background.

“Your turn,” Louis said, shocking Harry by sinking to his knees and swallowing down Harry’s cock in one motion. He almost gagged as Harry’s length hit the back of his throat, Harry holding Louis in place by his hair before he released him, letting Louis control the bobs of his head, mesmerised by the sight. 

“Look so good, look perfect with your mouth all full of me, made for this, weren’t you?” Harry mumbled, knowing Louis loved the dirty talk when he was drunk and sucking cock. “Shit, take me so well baby, can I come down your throat?”

Louis just nodded, eyes watering as Harry pressed further in again, and he smirked when he saw Louis’ face paint was rubbing off against his cock, inner thighs and pubic hair. Louis was going to look a state when they headed back out, but a small part of him liked that everyone was going to know what they’d been up to, that they couldn’t get enough of each other. He bobbed quicker now, his small hand wanking at what he couldn’t reach, and Harry could feel his orgasm threatening to overtake him already.

He stood up, making Louis rise up on his knees, and he helped guide Louis’ head slightly faster, muttering dirty words as Louis sucked him to orgasm, crying out Louis’ name, not giving a shit who heard them. Louis tried to swallow everything, but a few drops came out of the sides of his mouth, smearing his facepaint a little more. He looked filthy, and Harry loved it.

“Shit, that was amazing - you’re amazing,” Harry said, pulling him into a deep kiss, groaning as he tasted himself on Louis’ tongue. They kissed for a few more minutes until Louis stood up, his knees aching from the hard floor, and they tucked away their now soft cocks, smirking at each other.

Louis looked down at the drying puddle of his come on the floor, grimacing slightly at it. “Pass me some loo roll,” he instructed, and Harry did, watching as Louis mopped up the fluid, throwing the pieces of paper into the toilet and flushing it. “Okay, better go back out there before they realise what we’ve been up to.”

“Oh, I think we’re way beyond that,” Harry teased, licking his lips and heading for the door. Louis frowned, trying to make sense of what Harry meant, and when he finally clocked his own ruined reflection in the mirror, he gasped, gaping at the sight.

“Oh my fucking god, what have you done to me?” he cried, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to fix this, having left his face paints on their side in their bedroom. He groaned, realising everyone would know he and Harry had been up to something sexual, and there was no hiding it now.

“None of your business…” Harry leaned in to whisper and swept out of the door, a stunned and horny Louis in his wake, reappearing in the living to a cacophony of cheers and catcalls, both red-cheeked, sated and more than happy. It felt good. Louis grinned at the broad smile on Harry’s face and pulled him into another kiss. It felt like he had his Harry back, and he realised this was what they both needed to feel like themselves again. 

“Love you,” he said quietly to Harry, and his heart skipped a beat when Harry whirled around with that dazzling smile on his face, dimple popping.

“Love you more, babe.” They kissed, and at once, everything felt right with Louis’ world again. At long last.


	43. Fireproof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis film their VT for Comic Relief, and the live show comes, along with Harry's performance of his charity single.

“Okay, so when we get in, you’re going to meet some of the parents and children, and you’ll be filmed for the duration. That way, we will have plenty of material for the final cut which will be aired several times throughout the live show on Friday. Does that sound okay to both of you?” The Comic Relief representative, Jamie, looked to both of them, sighing with relief as they nodded.

“I mean, I’m happy for Harry to take the lead with most of the talking on camera, I’m not used to that and I’m a bit nervous,” Louis admitted, smiling slightly as he felt Harry take his hand under the table. “People will be watching for Harry anyway, not for me, so I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down, Lou,” Harry said sternly, hating when Louis was negative about himself in any sense. “People have really embraced you since we’ve been married, and there’s a reason you were asked to do this with me, okay? You’re gonna be great, and I’m so proud of you for doing this. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Louis said, accepting Harry’s quick kiss, neither caring they were in front of a few people they didn't really know that well. “Okay, I’ll do my best, but I’m not making any promises.”

“That’s fair enough, Louis, we understand. The car will be there to pick you both up and take you to the location at about 10 tomorrow morning, and will drop you at the studio afterwards for your soundcheck, Harry.”

“Yes, my management team told me about that,” Harry said, nodding. “I feel ready, they said they’ll have a stool because of my leg, and the fact I’m playing guitar, but it should all go well. I’m proud of the song. It’s all ready to drop at midnight, is that correct? Me and Lou want to tweet about it, get the word out, raise lots of money, you know?”

“Yes, it’s on iTunes from midnight tonight around the world, and we’ll be promoting it throughout the show. It’s the background to a few of the VTs as well, so fingers crossed we’ll raise quite a bit through that too. We appreciate you doing the song for us and releasing all of the royalties to Comic Relief.”

“Honestly, it’s an honour to be asked, and it’s my pleasure to donate all the proceeds. I’ve always supported Comic Relief so this is a great way for me to easily do a bit more.”

“Great. Well, we will see you tomorrow then.” Jamie stood and shook both Harry and Louis’ hands before leaving the room, and Louis stood, pulling Harry and walking hand in hand with him as they left the building. They headed for the little coffee shop they had spotted on their way in before the meeting, and Harry sat down while Louis went to order them some drinks. Jacob was having a day with Gemma since she had a weekend off work, and they’d both been sent several funny picture messages of the pair of them having a lot of fun.

“Are you nervous? About tomorrow?” Louis asked, sipping on his tea, watching as Harry stirred the foam around the top of his coffee with the silver spoon in his big hand. He was wearing no jewellery except for his wedding band, making Louis smile.

“Yeah, a bit. I worry I’m going to get upset on camera and make a twat of myself. It’s kids, Lou. They’re sick and it’s gonna be really hard to see. But I know why we’re doing it, so yeah.” Louis took his hand across the table, nibbling on one of the little biscuits they were given with their coffee, ignoring the stares of a few teenage girls sat on the other side of the coffee shop with tall milkshake glasses in front of them. “Ignore them, Lou, we’re here together.”

“I know, just hate it, wish we could drink in peace,” Louis sighed, stroking the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. “Anyway. Yeah, I think it’ll be hard but ultimately worth it, you know? And don’t be afraid to cry. You’re human, let people see that.”

“I’ll try,” Harry said, smiling softly at his husband. He glanced down to his watch, rolling his eyes. “Physio in an hour, then we can go home and have some tea. Maybe they’ll give me a date to get this bloody cast off, I’m fed up now. Been, what, 5 weeks? I miss having baths with you, being able to run around or even just sit on the floor with Jake.”

“Well, you’re doing so well, moving around and bearing weight a lot more so I don’t think it’ll be long. Let’s see what they say, yeah? Don’t get your hopes up just in case. Remind me not to make your next appointment on a Wednesday, it’s too much of a rush with work and stuff.”

“Will do. Love you, Lou. I’d be lost without you, you know.”

“I know,” Louis grinned back. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

*****

The car arrived promptly the next morning, and Harry and Louis climbed in the back seat, sitting quietly as it made the hour long drive to their destination, both men thinking through the things they were going to see. When they arrived, Harry got out first, greeting the members of the Comic Relief team before he introduced Louis, the pair holding hands as they walked in.

“This is Callum, the manager of the hospice, and Lila, one of the nurses that will be staying with you as you meet some of the children and their parents. They have been told you’re here, and you’ll be taken to see those that were happy to be filmed, and have their stories broadcast. Obviously, some people don’t want to be filmed but-”

“Can we meet them anyway?” Harry interjected. “I totally get they don’t want to be filmed, but I don’t want them thinking we’re only here for show. I’d like to meet as many people as possible, we aren’t in a rush, are we, Lou?” Louis shook his head, Harry’s team agreeing to that. “Great, thank you.”

“Okay, well, if you’d like to follow me, I’ll take you to our main room. The children are doing some craft activities now while the parents have a group meeting, so you could perhaps sit with the children and join in?”

“We’d love to,” Louis said, grinning. This sounded just like his cup of tea, much like what he did at work and he was keen to get stuck in. They followed Lila as she led them down the corridor, coming into a bright and airy looking room, colourful tables and chairs scattered around the room together with some big beanbags for the children who found sitting for prolonged periods hard. There was artwork plastered all over the walls, names and ages jotted in the bottom corners, as well as units of toys and games against one wall. Louis loved the look of it, and smiled down at a little boy who came running over. Louis crouched down, balancing on his toes as he chatted easily with the boy.

“Who are you?” The little boy said, looking curiously at Louis, then at Harry. “Did your leg stop working, Mister?”

Harry chuckled and smiled down, hating he couldn’t get on the boys level like Louis had.

“I’m Louis, and this is my husband, Harry. We’ve come to the centre today to have a look around and meet some of you. Is that okay?”

The little boy contemplated that for a second and nodded, looking again at Harry’s leg. “I’m Sam, I’m five. Do you have a bad leg too? I have bad legs, the bad things are in my legs, it makes them hurt.”

Harry’s heart broke at the words and swallowed heavily, trying to keep himself smiling. “I had a little accident and broke my leg, but it’s getting better slowly. The doctors helped me get better. Are your doctors and nurses good, too?”

“Yeah, they’re nice here,” Sam said with a smile. “Do you want to come and paint with me?” Harry looked to Lila who nodded, and Sam took Harry’s hand, leading him away.

“He has bone cancer,” someone said softly into Louis’ ear. He whirled around, looking into the face of woman who spoke. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I’m Juliette, Sam’s mum. He’s got bone cancer, stage four. Nice to meet you, Louis.” She reached for Louis’ hand but he stopped her, grabbing her in a quick hug, his heart already breaking for this brave woman in front of him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Louis began, not really knowing what to say. “What a gorgeous little lad, though, so friendly. How long has he been sick?”

“About two years. We stopped chemo a few months ago, it wasn’t working and was making him so sick. We’re just enjoying the time we have left together now. My husband and I bring him here every weekend so he can play with the other children, and we get a bit of respite too. It’s nice to chat to other people who are going through this.”

“I can imagine. We have a son, Harry and I. He’s seven and a half, and I just, god, I couldn’t imagine having to go through something like this with him. I think you’re incredibly brave.” Louis stood and chatted with her for a few more moments until he moved on, wandering around and looking at the other children and their parents scattered around. Harry was laughing loudly at something Sam was saying, a streak of green paint on his cheek, and Louis’ heart melted at how easily Harry fitted in.

Louis sat and talked to a couple of teenage girls for a while. One had lost all of her hair, and the other was her best friend. He listened patiently as she explained her illness, leukaemia, and told him in detail about her treatment plan, how it appeared to be working despite her appearance. When she spotted Harry in the background, she went pale and her hands started shaking.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Louis asked, suddenly concerned.

“That’s, oh my god, that’s Harry Styles…” she said, eyes wide, not meeting Louis’ gaze.

He laughed, and reached for her hand. “Yeah it is. Do you want to say hello?”

“You can- you can do that? Get him to come over here?”

“Oh love, I can get him to do pretty much anything I want,” he chuckled, helping her to stand up and get her balance. “He’s my husband. Come on, let’s go and meet him together.” Harry must have sensed Louis was coming as he excused himself from his painting, wiping his hands on a cloth to the side before he stood, smiling widely at Louis and the approaching girls.

“Hey, so lovely to meet you,” Harry said, going straight up to Dani, the taller girl and hugging her close before doing the same to her best friend Jess. “I have to say I love your t-shirt, Lou and I are pretty big supporters of all things rainbow, aren’t we love?”

“Oh my god, it’s so nice to meet you,” Dani said shyly, fiddling with her headscarf, making sure her bald head was covered. It looked a mess as she’d done it in a hurry before Louis took her over, but Harry held her wrist, stopping her movements. She looked a little stunned.

“You don’t need that, you know. You’re an absolutely beautiful girl.” She blushed, and carefully slid the scarf off, pushing it into her back pocket. “There we go. Gorgeous. Can we have a photo?” She nodded shyly and handed Louis her phone, and he snapped several images. The best one was when Harry scooped her up bridal style, planting a big kiss on her cheek, and Louis felt his eyes get wet at the emotion of the moment.

“Wow, thank you so much!” she gushed as Harry put her gently back down on the floor, hugging her again. “This is like the best day of my life!” Harry smiled sweetly at Louis then and headed off with the girls, sitting down on a big red squashy sofa, making himself comfortable flanked by the girls, chatting easily as Louis spotted a mother with a toddler sound asleep in her arms.

He made his way over, smiling and making sure it was okay before he approached. “Hey, I’m Louis,” he said quietly as he stood next to her, reaching out and trailing a fingertip down the sleeping child’s cheek.

“Hi Louis, I’m Kim, this is Jack, he’s 18 months old.” One of the nurses came over and pushed something through the tube in Jack’s little arm, and Louis felt sad again that a child this small would have to be going through something so hard at such a young age. “He’s got Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.” She explained that for a few minutes and eventually asked if Louis would like a cuddle.

“Would never say no,” he said through a small smile, and accepted the boy’s sleeping form into his arms, holding him close. “He’s absolutely beautiful,” Louis said honestly, mesmerised by the boy’s beautiful eyelashes that fluttered as he slept. The pair talked for a while about all manner of things, Louis sensing that Kim wanted to stay away from the subject of her son’s illness so he spoke about Jacob, Harry and his performance tomorrow night on TV and soon, Harry joined them. “Speak of the devil. Haz, this is Kim and her beautiful boy Jack, Kim this is my hubby Harry.”

“Oh god, look at him,” Harry said, touching the little boy’s bare foot. “Lou, please can I have a hug? I mean, if that’s okay with you,” he said, looking to Kim. She smiled and nodded, watching as Louis carefully transferred the boy, taking care with his tubes. Harry sat down with him, staring down at the sleeping child in his arms, and Louis’ heart felt full.

After a few more hours spent with children and their families, Louis and Harry headed off into one of the empty children’s rooms, and were sat on a pair of plastic chairs next to each other, a camera pointed at them. One of the members of the camera team directed their questions to the pair, and Louis and Harry chatted to each other about their time, their experience and what good the money from charities like Comic Relief did for centres like this one.

“ _Shooting Stars_ is just such a special place, I mean, seeing the good it does those families, just those few hours of respite was really humbling. As a parent, I can’t imagine the pain of watching your child sick, but this place is full of hope and love, and honestly, I feel like a better person for having spent hours in the company of these amazingly strong and brave people.”

“I feel the same,” Louis said, finally deciding to speak up. “As a father, your child getting sick like this is your worst nightmare. These parents are able to lean on each other, discuss everything about their children with people who feel the same and are going through the same thing, and it’s such an invaluable resource. Seeing first hand the good places like this do makes me realise how much good Comic Relief does when it supports centres like _Shooting Stars_ , and it was a real privilege to be here today.”

“I totally agree,” Harry said, smiling over to his husband. He turned back to the camera then, ready to do the rehearsed piece he’d practised earlier on with Louis. “If you, or anyone you know, has been affected by cancer, you’ll know how precious these places are, and the amazingly good things they do not only for the patient but their loved ones too. They can only keep going thanks to generous donations from charities like Comic Relief, and Louis and I have seen first hand the good work that they do. So if you can spare even just five pounds, please text or call the numbers on your screen to make a donation. Every pound really does help, and honestly, this place wouldn’t be what it is without your help. Please donate whatever you can.”

“Thank you,” Louis finished, and a cameraman called cut, Louis sighing, relieved that was over. He knew there would be some heavy editing going on with their piece but he hoped he hadn’t embarrassed himself or Harry. “Okay, well that wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was really eye-opening though.”

“Yeah. Um, can we talk when we get home? Please?” Harry said, face looking serious and Louis just nodded. They made their way out, thanking several of the families they had met earlier, and Harry headed out to the car, grabbing a few things and returning to Dani and Jess, handing them a few signed things, making the girls cry before they left.

Much later that night, Louis had ordered them pizzas for dinner, neither man wanting to cook. They made quick work of eating their dinner, Harry disposing of the boxes outside in the recycling before they settled on the sofa together, Louis’ legs draped over Harry’s lap, Harry massaging at his ankle. They were watching some documentary on the television but neither was paying much attention to it, their brains still whirring with what they’d experienced earlier on. They’d spent the drive back talking about it, and now Louis was wondering what else Harry had to say.

“So… you wanted to talk?” he ventured, and Harry nodded, pulling Louis closer. “Everything okay, love?”

“Yeah, yeah, course. Just, um, been thinking. Not just today, but seeing you today… made me think. I need to say it now before I chicken out.” Louis felt nervous now and took Harry’s hand, fiddling with his wedding ring before he kissed the back of his hand.

“Right, well, spit it out.”

“Okay. I want us to have a baby.”

“That isn’t new information, Haz. We’ve already discussed that, and you know I want it too.”

“I know, I know. Okay. Right. We haven’t talked about this though…”

“Harry, stop talking in riddles and tell me what’s on your mind. Don’t be shy. It’s just me, okay?” Louis decided to get closer and shuffled into Harry’s lap, Harry’s arms automatically looping around his waist.

“Sorry, love. Okay. Well, we want a baby. You have Jacob, he’s half you, and I love that he is. He’s a mini Lou, and I love that he has your eyes, and your sass-”

“And his dad’s heart,” Louis said, laying a gentle palm on Harry’s chest, making him smile. “Love you, and please don’t forget you’re part of him too.”

“Okay, well, thank you babe. But biologically, he’s half you. I’d like that, Lou. A baby that’s genetically mine. I was wondering what you felt about us using a surrogate so the baby could be mine? Or yours, I mean, if you wanted that. But I’d like it to be a Tomlinson, one way or the other, if that’s-”

He was cut off by Louis surging forward and connecting their lips, his hands on Harry’s cheeks. “Yes, fuck yes. I love that… the idea of raising a little you, all curls and dimples. The world needs a baby Harry Styles-”

“Tomlinson.”

“-a baby Harry Tomlinson. Yes, love, I’d love that. Have you looked into it at all? How it all works and stuff?”

“Not really, not enough. I mean, I know there’s agencies for this sort of thing, so we could look into it together when things settle down? Maybe after Christmas and the Grammy’s stuff is out of the way? I want this so much, and seeing you today with baby Jack, and Sam and the girls made me realise how badly I want it. I want to post ridiculous photos of you and our baby sleeping, of Jake and his little brother or sister… I want it all, Lou.”

“Me too, darling,” Louis reassured him with a kiss, wriggling a little on Harry’s lap. He was surprised to feel Harry getting hard underneath him. “Christ, domesticity talk does it for you, huh?” He smiled and bent his head down to kiss Harry, their lips meeting. Their kiss was gentle at first, both men closing their eyes and enjoyed the feeling but soon, Harry started to deepen it, his tongue swirling into Louis’ mouth, moaning as Louis’ hands started roaming over his body.

“Louis… god...yeah… think it’s the thought of forever with you, if I’m honest. Ah, Lou, don’t start something you don’t want to finish…”

“Who says I don’t want to finish it?” Louis said with a smirk, carefully clambering off Harry’s lap and helping him stand. “Upstairs. I had an idea the other day and thought we could try it out.” Harry nodded eagerly and let Louis lead him up the stairs, pleased to have an evening alone to enjoy some adult time without worrying about Jacob walking in.

They stripped off quickly once they were in their bedroom, eyes all over each other's bodies as they got naked together, and Louis eventually led Harry over to the floral print armchair sat in one corner, smirking down at him. “Wanna ride you on here, like this,” he said softly, taking Harry’s half hard cock in his hand and started to stroke slowly. Harry whimpered and bit his lip, watching as Louis’ smaller hand moved up and down his shaft, collecting the precome beading from the tip with his thumb and spreading it down. “Can I do that?”

Harry just nodded, cheeks red and heart racing inside his chest. He grabbed the bottle of lube Louis had left on the seat next to his bare thigh, and coated a couple of his fingers, trailing them around to Louis’ arse, rubbing gently over his entrance, enjoying the effect it had on his husband. Slowly, tentatively, he pushed the tip of his index finger in, Louis moaning loudly, pleased he could make as much noise as he wanted.

“More Haz, need you inside me, come on baby…” Louis dipped and kissed Harry again, capturing his lips and tongue as Harry’s fingers started moving inside him, Louis rocking back gently against them. Harry pressed a second inside, swallowing down Louis’ noises as his own cock rubbed against Louis’ stomach. This felt good, the way Louis was in control despite wanting to bottom tonight, and as much as Harry loved this, he couldn’t wait to be rid of the cast so he could fuck Louis like he wanted to. It had been too long without their vigorous sex.

“Feel so good around my fingers… gonna take me deep like this baby? Gonna let me fuck you deep and slow?” Louis panted and nodded, sweat beading on his chest already. The room was warm and the air was already filled with the smell of sex, both men incredibly turned on already. Something about seeing Louis naked and on his lap like this while Harry worked a hand behind him really did for Harry, and Louis was clearly enjoying himself just as much. “How do you want this?”

Louis kissed him filthily again for a few moments, pulling away, a string of spit connecting them for a few seconds. “Um, I think… gonna turn around, ride you like that, okay?”

“Fuck… yeah, baby. You ready?” Louis nodded and Harry gently slid his fingers out, Louis moaning at the loss. He watched as Louis stood up, his hard cock bobbing in front of him as he got to his feet, turning around so his back was facing Harry. Harry could just watch as Louis took his cock in hand, holding it steady as he lowered himself onto it. Louis moaned as Harry’s cock split him open, taking a few deep breaths before he started to gently move himself.

“Oh god, Lou… feel so good baby..” Harry brought his hands up to rest on Louis’ curvy waist, his hands fitting perfectly in the dip there. Louis’ own hands rested on them for a moment, their wedding rings clinking, and he arched his head around, kissing Harry quickly for a second. Both were panting, even though Harry wasn’t really doing anything except watching Louis take his cock over and over.

Louis started to bounce gently, using the strong muscles of his thighs to lift himself up and down, Harry’s cock stretching him with each motion. He could feel Harry’s eyes gazing on him as he moved, and he liked the thought of that, of being watched and started to go faster. He could feel Harry’s fingertips digging into his sides, and hoped he’d leave little bruises, reminders of this for later on. “Love you Haz, feel so good inside me baby…”

“Yeah, ride me so well, Lou…” Harry took charge for a moment. His legs were useless thanks to his cast but instead, he pushed the soles of his feet hard against the floor and used his strong arms to start lifting his husband up and down on his cock, moaning at the feel of Louis’ hot, tight heat around him. “Oh fuck… gonna come baby… fill you up..”

“Yeah, want it, oh yes, right there- please Haz-” Louis moaned loudly as Harry dropped him down quickly, the tip of his length pressing against Louis’ prostate, sending shivers through his body. Louis hung his head forward, staring at Harry’s feet as Harry fucked him over and over, and Louis grabbed his own cock, stroking fast and in rhythm with the way he was riding Harry. “Oh god… make me come, Harry-”

“Yeah, come for me, Lou, wanna see it…” Harry dug his hands in harder to Louis’ waist, guiding him up and down his length, practically sliding out of his body each time until Louis was shouting Harry’s name, coming hard, splattering Harry’s thighs and cast with his come, chest and back heaving with his deep breaths. “Gonna come inside you…”

“Please-” Louis rasped out, entirely spent and exhausted now but he let Harry continue to bounce him until he felt himself becoming wet and warm inside, Harry’s come quickly seeping out around his cock thanks to the gravity. Louis just sighed in pleasure, slowing his body down and sitting down fully on Harry, his husband’s cock still submerged deep within him. “God Haz… missed that, missed feeling you inside me.”

“Love you, Lou,” Harry said, gently starting to lift Louis off. He held the base of his cock as Louis lifted off, wrinkling his nose at the feel of Harry’s come trickling down his leg. Harry sighed, leaning back against the back of the chair, and just stared at his naked husband. “God, you’re gorgeous you know.”

“I’m not, but thank you,” Louis said, returning the favour and raking his eyes over Harry, his spent cock laying against his leg now. “Shower, dear husband?”

“Shower,” Harry agreed with a nod, getting to his feet and stepping over to Louis, who snaked his arms up and kissed him gently. “Love you, you know. Can’t wait to have babies with you. Missed out on all that before…”

“I know, love. But you’re here now, yeah? And we’re going to do it together this time, I promise you. You’re going to be an amazing daddy with our baby.”

“Yeah?” Harry grinned at the thought, following Louis as they walked through to their bathroom. “I hope so.”

“I _know_ so” Louis said, grinning as he pulled Harry close again. “Now, let’s get you nice and clean…”

*****

“Wow, this place is huge,” Jacob said, eyes wide as he took in the surroundings of the filling studio. Louis and him were stood in the wings while Harry got dressed for his performance, and they were both allowed to wander around as much as they liked thanks to the privilege of being Harry’s husband and son. “Is that where Dad’s gonna be singing?”

Louis nodded, his hands resting on Jacob’s shoulders. “Yep. Remember, the song he sung to us this morning while he made breakfast?”

“I love that song!” Jacob exclaimed, going quiet as a few people walked up to them, introducing themselves and asking who they were. “I’m Jacob Tomlinson and my Dad is Harry Tomlinson, but you might know him as Harry Styles.” The adults laughed quietly at that, and one nodded, stepping closer.

“My name’s Maria, I’m the one who is going to be introducing your Dad on the stage tonight. You must be very proud of him?”

“He’s the best dad and the best singer, and he loves me and Daddy so much,” was Jacob’s innocent reply, and the woman stood, ruffling his hair. “Can we go and find Dad please?” Jacob asked, and Louis nodded, politely excusing them as they headed off backstage to where they’d left Harry. Music was pumping through the arena now, getting the audience hyped up for an exciting night, and Louis knocked before they slipped inside. Harry was stood, topless, as he fiddled with his hair, and Louis winked at him.

“Hey gorgeous,” he said, kissing Harry’s lips quickly as Jacob sat on the sofa with Louis’ phone, texting Jay. “You ready, then?”

“Yeah. Leg’s aching a bit, be glad to get this bloody thing off next week.” He pulled at the fabric of his trousers, trying to stretch it fruitlessly. “Anyway, in terms of the song, yeah, I’m ready. Soundcheck went well, I just hope everyone likes it.”

“Love, it’s gone to number one on iTunes already, safe to say they like it.” Louis smiled proudly, pulling Harry into a hug. “We’re going to get in our seats, okay? See you out there.” Jacob hopped up, running and jumping into Harry’s waiting arms.

“Good luck Dad! Look for me, I’ll be waving at you!”

“You know I will,” Harry said, kissing his son and then Louis again. “See you soon. Love you both.”

“Love you Dad, bye!” Jacob called, and they waved as they headed out, being led to the main arena and the VIP seats saved for them. The first hour of the show went quickly, Jacob incredibly entertained by everything going on. Before Louis knew it, the VT he and Harry made was being shown on the screens, silence settling over the arena as everyone listened. “That’s you and Dad!” Jacob whispered excitedly, pointing at the pair.

Louis was incredibly moved by it all, memories flooding back and he thought they’d done an amazing job editing it. They’d mixed the footage of Louis and Harry meeting the children and their families with the interview they did afterwards, and Louis could see quite a few people sniffing, wiping away tears at the bravery of those being shown. The screen was suddenly filled with an image of Harry with a sleeping Jack in his arms, and Louis’ heart skipped a beat, imagining that within the next few years, hopefully sooner, that would be Harry and his own child, their own baby.

Applause echoed as the final part of the tape aired, Louis a bit stunned to see himself, but overall, he was pleased with it. The presenter from earlier, Maria, came onto the stage, and the audience quietened down to listen to her.

“We have something special for you now. You just saw in our VT visiting the amazing _Shooting Stars_ with his husband Louis, meeting some of the brave children and parents who have benefitted from Comic Relief donations over the past few years. Now, he’s here to perform the official Comic Relief single for this year, which has already shot straight to number one on iTunes. So, without further ado, please welcome, with his new song _Fireproof,_ it’s Harry Styles!”

Everyone started screaming as Harry slowly and carefully walked out onto the stage, stopping in front of the microphone stand and hooking his guitar over his body.

“Hi Dad! Love you!” Jacob cried, and everyone smiled and looked their way. Harry waved and blew him a kiss just before the band started playing, Harry strumming away as he started to sing.

 _I think I'm gonna lose my mind,_  
_Something deep inside me, I can't give up,_  
_I think I'm gonna lose my mind,_  
_I roll and I roll 'til I'm out of luck, yeah,_ _  
_ _I roll and I roll 'til I'm out of luck,_

 _I'm feeling something deep inside,_  
_Hotter than a jet stream burning up,_  
_I got a feeling deep inside,_  
_It's taking, it's taking all I've got, yeah,_ _  
_ _It's taking, it's taking all I've got_

 _'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe you are fireproof,_ _  
_ _'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do_

 _I think I'm gonna win this time,_  
_Riding on the wind and I won't give up,_  
_I think I'm gonna win this time,_  
_I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck,_ _  
_ _I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck_

 _'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, you must be fireproof,_ _  
_ _'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do_

 _'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe you were fireproof,_ _  
_ _'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do_

Harry played the last few guitar notes, and the audience burst into yet more applause, hands undoubtedly sore from clapping along to the beat for the entire song. Harry took off his guitar, setting it back into the stand as he blew kisses to the audience, pretending to catch the ones blown by Louis and Jacob, putting them in his pocket much to Jacob’s delight.

“He caught it, Daddy! Dad caught my kiss!”

“I know, love,” Louis said, winking at Harry who stood, waiting to talk.

“Fantastic song, Harry, and congratulations on the number one! I understood you wrote that one at home while you were convalescing after your accident?”

“Thank you, I’m thrilled people are enjoying the song. And yes, I wrote it after my accident while I was getting better. It’s kind of written both for my husband, and people who make use of the facilities Comic Relief supports. The parents and children Louis and I met were so incredibly brave despite the awful circumstances they’ve found themselves in, and I was in awe of them. They really do seem to be fireproof, like they can get through anything, and I admire that so much.” Everyone clapped again at that, and Harry smiled softly.

“You’re right, and we thank you for generously donating all of your royalties for this song to Comic Relief. You can buy the song now on iTunes, and all the money goes to support the work these charities do around Great Britain.” Harry waved as he headed offstage, pleased to see Louis and Jacob waiting in the wings for him. Jacob ran up and hugged him tightly as Louis hung back, waiting for Jacob to finish.

“You were amazing. Missed seeing you in your element like that,” Louis said into his ear as Harry grabbed him in a hug. “Love you, you did great, babe.”

“My element has changed a bit,” Harry confessed, sliding his hand into Louis’ as they walked back to his dressing room, agreeing earlier that they’d stay a little while then head home together with their son. “I love being on stage, I really do. But I think I love being at home, being a dad and a husband just as much, if not a bit more.” He leaned and whispered, just for Louis to hear then. “I want babies, Lou.”

“Me too,” Louis whispered back, and they rubbed noses gently, the promise of everything they both wanted finally feeling like it was within reach.

 

 


	44. Feel Good Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis investigate Jacob's school problems, and Harry gets his cast removed before he makes the most of having his leg back to normal with his husband...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my amazing friend Liz for talking this through with me as always! x

“Hi Louis, take a seat. Hello, Mr Tomlinson, nice to see you again, please take-”

“Harry, please call me Harry,” he reassured the man, shaking his hand before sitting down next to Louis, across the table from Jacob’s teacher Mr Fox, and the SENCO for the school, Mrs Vaughn. He smiled slightly at Louis before he schooled his face into a serious expression. He hadn’t had to do many serious things as Jacob’s dad before, and he was determined to make a good impression now he was having to. He felt Louis take his hand under the table, and squeezed it gently.

“Okay, so Harry, Louis, did you want to tell us why we’re here, just so we are on the same page?” Mr Fox asked, looking to both men. Harry nodded at Louis, willing him to continue.

“Sure. So Harry and I have noticed Jacob has been really struggling with his spelling and written work for a while now. As a TA, I know the expectation for Year Three is ramped up, and obviously work is getting harder for him. We did intend to come and speak about this sooner, but what with Harry’s accident and recovery, everything’s been pushed back. Anyway, my personal feeling is that there’s something more than Jacob just finding work tough. In my opinion, as both a TA and a Dad, I think Jacob might have dyslexia.” He exhaled at those words, pleased to get them out there to someone other than Harry and his mum.

“Right. So I have been considering this myself,” Mr Fox started, pulling a few of Jacob’s work books from the small pile sat to the side. “If you take a look at his English work, you can see the content is there, he has a good idea of the technical requirements, but his output is low, and obviously, yes, the spelling is a clear issue.”

Louis nodded, accepting the proffered book, and looked through a few pages with Harry. He smiled at a short story Jacob had written, and then at a piece about Harry’s tour they’d been on throughout the summer that he’d written in early September. “So, I know he’s old enough to be tested now, is that something we can put him forward for?”

“Certainly,” Mrs Vaughn began. “I have done a few in school tests with Jacob, something we do routinely with all children we have concerns about. He did flag up on the DEST test in Reception, Louis, as you well know-”

“Sorry, the DEST test?” Harry interrupted, hating the use of jargon he just couldn’t understand.

“Sorry love, um, the Dyslexia Early Screening Test. It’s a pre-indicator test for 4 and 5 year olds. Certain elements of it can indication a pre-inclination to a child possibly having dyslexia in the future, although it’s not a guarantee. I know Jacob scored fairly highly, so this was always a possibility, I just didn’t think it would actually manifest later on like it has.”

“That’s right, Louis, well explained,” Mrs Vaughn said, while Harry smiled proudly at his husband. “We can do a few further investigations in school, but at this point, we would look to refer Jacob to our Educational Psychologist who would be able to analyse him and his problems. I understand Jacob has had a sight test as he wears glasses, has he had a hearing test?”

“No, he hasn’t,” Louis said, shaking his head. “We haven’t had a concern with his hearing so it wasn’t something that I thought to look into.”

“Not to worry. It’s just nice to have these things in place for the referral to the Ed Psych, so if you could sort that with your GP, that would be great,” she said again, and Harry nodded.

“Sure, I’ll ring up tomorrow and make an appointment.” Louis smiled gratefully at Harry, glad he wasn’t doing this alone. “So, forgive me that I don’t have a clue about all this like you all do, but what happens if the further tests confirm Jake has dyslexia?”

“Well, we can look to get extra classroom support for him, and when the time comes for things like Key Stage Two assessment, Jacob can apply to have a reader and additional time to help him achieve his potential. We can also work to help with his particular challenges, and support him in any way we can. It’s a minefield, we understand that, but we’re here to help, and you’re free to come in at any point and have a chat, Harry. You are also married to a pretty experienced TA so he’s going to be able to answer a lot of your questions.”

Louis grinned at Harry then, Harry winking quickly at him. “Okay, well, that’s great. Glad to know he’s got some use then.” They all laughed at Harry’s cheek, and Louis stuck his tongue out cheekily.

“I’m really sorry but I need to get back to class. Will you let us know when the Ed Psych will be in to see Jake, please? I think I want to let him know someone is coming to see him. We have spoken about his worries with his school work before, so I think being open with him will be best.”

“You know your son, Louis. If that’s what you want, then please go ahead. I trust your judgment. Harry, it’s been lovely to meet you, and please do come and see me or Mr Fox if you have any more concerns that Louis can’t answer for you.”

“I will,” Harry said, getting to his feet now. He leaned over and shook both of their hands before taking Louis’ and walking out to the reception area where he signed out, leaving his visitors pass on the desk. “I’ll let you get back to work, babe. Oh, Zayn said he can get Jake today while we go to the hospital, get this bloody thing off at last.”

Louis grinned, tapping at Harry’s cast with his left hand. “I’m gonna miss this thing,” he said, smirking slightly. “I’ll come pick you up, yeah?”

“Cool. Mum’s outside so I’ll see you after work. Love you, Lou.”

“Alright darling, be safe. Love you more.” They kissed quickly before Louis turned and waved, walking back into the building as Harry walked out, sliding into the seat next to his mum.

“Hey love, all okay?” She asked, heading back to Harry and Louis’ house. Harry missed driving terribly, and already was looking forward to having his leg back, and his freedom.

“Yeah. Just a lot to get my head around. I’m just glad Lou has a clue about it all because I feel a bit lost. So much to think about, and work out what’s right for Jake. I’m worried about how he’s going to take it all, it’s a lot for a kid.”

“But he’s got you, both of you,” Anne reminded him, taking his hand as she drove on, navigating the long roads with ease. “He’ll be fine because he has you two, and you only want the best for him.”

“You’re right, thanks Mum,” Harry said, smiling over to her from the passenger seat. “I’ve got a while before I have to get Lou at the end of the day, want to go for a coffee?”

“Time with my boy? Wouldn’t say no to that,” Anne said with a grin so similar to Harry’s own, it was quite spooky. She indicated and changed lanes, heading off for lunch with her son, the two talking animatedly as Harry eagerly waited the afternoon and finally getting his cast off.

*****

“Lou, shit, come here,” Harry said, eyes flooded with panic as the technicians got ready to finally remove his cast. “Lou, please-”

“Hey, alright, I’m here,” Louis said, walking over and taking a seat next to the bed where Harry was laid out, looking very nervous now. He reached out and took his hand, watching the bob of Harry’s adams apple as he swallowed, trying to keep his breathing steady. “You know it won’t cut you, right? They’re made to be safe love, you don’t need to worry.”

“Rationally, I know that Louis. I do. But you tell me when you’re laid out all vulnerable with a saw coming at you that you feel all calm and collected about it, because right now, I’m shitting myself just a little bit.” Louis concentrated hard on keeping his expression neutral, and nodded, trying to understand. “Just humour me, okay? Stay with me while they do this.”

“Of course,” Louis said, leaning forward to kiss Harry’s cheek. He made sure Harry’s eyes were shut as they began removing the cast, ensuring that Harry’s skin wasn’t so much as touched by the saw, and soon, the long leg cast that had been on just over six weeks was finally off. Harry looked down, a little shocked at the freedom and then grinned widely at Louis.

“Oh my god! I’m free! Look at my pale skinny leg though, yuck…”

“Hey, it’s gorgeous to me,” Louis said, reaching forward and stroking Harry’s clammy thigh. It was nice to see his husband without a visible reminder of the accident at last, although the large scar down the front of his skin was still visible. “Glad you’re all back in one piece, and I’ve got my husband properly back. Missed this leg…”

“Oh get a grip, Lou,” Harry muttered as Louis continued to stroke. He listened carefully as a nurse came in and started to encourage Harry to move his leg, the man surprised by how easily it moved considering he hadn’t been mobile properly for weeks now. “Wow, I guess I’m going to tire easily but fuck this feels good. I mean, I’ve gotta build it back up like the other one-”

“Slowly, please!” The nurse interjected, and Harry nodded along, keen to show he was following direction.

“Yes, slowly. Of course. But still, I’m back! Bit sad to see the old cast go, with all Jacob’s scrawls all over it.”

“No you’re not. Burn it,” Louis said over his shoulder to the technicians who just laughed. “Come on, let’s go home. I’ve made the next few physio appointments as well, one’s tomorrow and the other is on Monday.”

“Thanks love, what would I do without you?” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips quickly. “Oh. Um, am I allowed to drive?” he asked the nurse.

“I would wait until you’ve had your first physio appointment, and go from there,” she advised, not wanting Harry to do too much too soon. “Other than that, do try to be as normally mobile as possible. Short walks are good for stamina and building up strength, but don’t go crazy and try squats or any other vigorous activity for now.”

“Does sex count as a vigorous-”

“LOUIS!” Harry said, slapping a hand over his husband’s mouth, mortified at the question. The nurse went red but laughed, shaking her head slightly.

“Well… without going into detail, sex should be fine as long as you’re, um… mindful of the leg?”

“Duly noted,” Louis said, smirking at Harry who had his arms folded across his chest now, glaring at his husband. “Let’s get you home, love.”

“Oh, don’t _love_ me,” Harry said, stomping off towards the door. Louis quickly caught up with him as Harry walked off, his limp becoming more pronounced the further he went, and he still glared daggers at Louis when he went to support his elbow. “Louis, I cannot believe you asked her that.”

“It was a genuine question,” Louis said, a bit perplexed by Harry’s reaction. “I want to make sure we can have sex properly now your leg is healed, and she’s a professional, Haz. I’m sure she’s seen people with all manner of things stuck up ‘em, no need to be shy…”

“I do not need the world knowing about our sex life, Lewis.”

“She’s a nurse, _Harold_. And you’re the one who sung a song to the world about sucking my cock. So yeah.” Harry had the decency to blush at that, and gently got into the car, begrudgingly thanking Louis for his help under his breath. “Oh, nothing to say back to that then? Is it because I’m right?”

Harry just looked at Louis, rolling his eyes. “Oh yes, dear husband. Totally right. You’ll pay for that, you know.”

“Well, I was banking on it,” Louis said, poking his tongue out at Harry as they headed home, Louis secretly pleased his plan to rile up Harry had gone perfectly.

*****

“Haz? Where are you? Since it’s Friday, Jake wanted to stay at Mum’s as he’s watching Finding Dory with Dotty and Ernie. I said that was fine, and we’d get him in the morning.” Louis stopped as he kicked off his Vans, letting one land on top of Harry’s Chelsea boot as he made his way into the house, listening for his husband.

“Hey Lou, I’m, um, I’m upstairs…” Harry shouted back, and Louis headed into the kitchen, grabbing a can of coke from the fridge, cursing when he popped it open and got himself covered in the drink. “Are you coming up?”

“Hold your bloody horses,” Louis called, licking the droplets from the back of his hand. “I’m coming. Oh, and did I tell you Mrs Vaughn came to see me, said Jake’s Ed Psych visit has been booked for the 2nd of December. I’m glad they’re not hanging about.” He headed into Jacob’s room and shut the window, feeling a stiff chill come from it, and walked down the hallway to their bedroom.

Harry was sat on the edge of the bed in a fairly sheer black shirt, a somewhat nervous expression on his face which confused Louis. He didn't think they had any plans for going out, so he didn't understand why Harry was so dressed up.

“We going somewhere?” he asked, standing in front of Harry and running his fingers through his hair, making Harry look up at him. Harry just shook his head. “Well, what’s with the fancy pants shirt then? Not that you don’t look gorgeous, cos you do, but..”

“I want to celebrate,” Harry said quietly, looking up at Louis from under his lashes.

“Celebrate… what? Not an anniversary, and our birthdays aren’t near,” Louis mused, running through his catalogue of important dates in his head.

“Getting my leg back. Being able to do the things I haven’t been able to do in too long,” he said, and slowly stood. It was then that Louis noticed the rest of Harry’s outfit, and his jaw dropped. “I got you a little something…”

“Is it this?” Louis said, biting his lip as he slid his hands up and under the low hem of Harry’s shirt, feeling the fabric against Harry’s body. “Shit, you give me the best presents. Turn around. Let me see you.”

Harry obliged, and Louis let out a shaky breath at the sight. Harry was wearing a sheer black shirt, yes, but it was what was around his bottom half that was making Louis lose his mind. Instead of his usual boxers, Harry had on a black lace thong, with red ribbon around the top, and a small red bow just above the tip of his cock, already hard within the confines of the lace. The cheeks of his ass were fully on display to Louis, and he groaned, reaching out to touch them.

“Take the shirt off,” Louis whispered, and Harry shook his head. Harry grabbed his wrists and guided Louis to the bed, pushing him down as his thighs hit the side of the mattress. Harry pulled open the bedside drawer and dug out a pair of handcuffs, setting them on the table, Louis’ eyes wide as he stared at them. They were followed by something Harry stuck under the pillow that Louis couldn’t see, and Harry looked down at Louis again, pupils blown and cheeks red.

“Can I…” he tailed off, eyes flicking to the cuffs and back again to Louis, who nodded eagerly. Harry picked up the cuffs and let Louis move backwards on the bed, raising his wrists above his head, letting Harry tie him to the bedpost. He gulped slightly as the metal clicked into place, leaving Harry entirely in control of whatever was going to happen next.

He watched as Harry started to sway his hips in front of him, stood on the floor now as he started the unbutton the last few fastened buttons on his shirt, pushing it back off his shoulders devilishly, taunting Louis with his every move.

“Fucking hell.. What are you doing to me?” Louis moaned, feeling his cock already start to harden in his jeans, and hating the fact there was nothing he could do about it. He watched as Harry licked his lips, bringing two fingers to his nipple and pinching and twisting gently, moaning lowly as he did so, palming himself with the other hand. Louis watched as his big hand moved across the lace, shifting it until the head slipped past the waistband, poking out obscenely from the black lace.

The shirt slipped off Harry’s shoulders entirely then, pooling on the floor around his bare feet, Harry only wearing the lingerie.

“You like it Lou?” Harry asked, trailing his hand down his chest and stomach, gently rubbing at the tip of his cock, throwing his head back in pleasure. “I bought these for you.” He turned around again, looking back over his shoulder at Louis coquettishly, well aware of Louis’ eyes fixated on his arse. “Gonna fuck me, Lou? Wearing only this?”

“Fuck yeah,” Louis breathed out, gasping as Harry crawled quickly between his legs, undoing and unzipping his jeans, yanking them and his boxers off in one fluid movement, making quick work of removing his socks too. Thanks to his bound hands, Louis’ t-shirt would have to stay on for now, but Harry didn't mind, instead pushing it up under Louis’ chin and licking quickly at his nipples. Louis whined at the contact, already wanting more.

“Watch while I open myself up for you,” Harry practically purred, reaching for the lube from their bedside table, turning around so his arse was facing Louis. He slowly but steadily made quick work of opening himself up, twisting and pushing his fingers inside himself, not holding back on his noises thanks to Jacob being elsewhere for the night.

“Harry, wanna fuck you… need to be inside your body… please…” Harry enjoyed how Louis was begging for it, the chain of the handcuffs rattling against the metal frame as Louis pulled, desperate for something more now. “Harry, come on love…”

“Changed my mind,” Harry panted out, delving his fingers again, crying out when he grazed his prostate. Reluctantly, he slid his fingers out, letting his husband look at his every move before he reached for Louis’ cock with his slick fingers before letting go, and pushing one finger against Louis’ rim. “Gonna fuck you first, make you scream my name baby. Then I might let you fuck me after if you’re good.”

He pushed his hand forward and sighed as his finger breached Louis, sinking in easily to the knuckle. Harry had really missed fucking Louis like this, taking him apart slowly and then fucking him rough and hard. Louis had had to keep control a lot thanks to Harry’s broken leg but now he was free of the restraints of the cast, he was going to have fun.

“Another please-” Louis begged, eyes shut as Harry pressed his middle finger in, twisting his wrist, purposefully leaving Louis’ prostate alone. After a few more thrusts, he slid in a third finger, watching Louis’ face as he got used to the stretch of Harry’s long fingers, panting and wordlessly begging for more. Harry soon slid his fingers out, wiping them on his own cock, and lined up, rubbing the head of his cock over Louis’ entrance, making both of them whine. “Harry, inside now-”

“Wait your turn,” Harry teased, pressing in just enough so the head of his cock slipped inside Louis’ body, willing himself not to come already. “Want it rough, baby?” Louis just nodded, exhaling as Harry pushed his cock right in, bottoming out in one swift thrust. “Oh god Lou.. so tight..”

“Fuck me, hard- want it hard-” Louis moaned, clenching his hands into fists as Harry began a punishing rhythm between his legs. He had his hands on Louis’ inner thighs, spreading his legs wide as he pounded into his husband, watching Louis’ bobbing cock with every move, at how the precome was dribbling in beads from the slit, teasing Harry. Harry swiped his finger through it, bringing it up to his lips and sucking it in, tasting Louis.

“Taste good baby…” Harry said, dipping his head to kiss Louis as he continued to fuck into him, the bed shaking with the roughness of their sex. “Want you to come for me, then want to make you hard again so you can fill me up… can you do that?”

“I’ll try,” Louis rasped out, sucking Harry’s bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling gently on it. “Love you so much, missed this...ah god, Harry- harder-”

“Dirty boy,” Harry mumbled, shifting his position slightly, lifting Louis’ legs up and over his shoulders, allowing the angle of his cock to be deeper inside Louis, his husband crying out as the tip of Harry’s cock nudged his prostate over and over. “Love you Lou… my husband, all mine-”

“Yeah, yours… gonna come Haz, touch me…”

“No. Untouched,” Harry mumbled, hands still on the mattress either side of Louis’ head, looking down into his eyes. “Wanna see how good I make you feel…” He groaned as he thrust in hard and deep, Louis crying out with his eyes closed as Harry pounded at him again. “Open your eyes, look at me-”

“Oh god, yesyesyes, Harry, make me come-” Louis moaned, and it only took a few hard thrusts for Louis to come, coating his stomach in come, Harry unable to drag his eyes away from Louis’ cock, how it twitched as it released pulse after pulse of come. “Oh my god…”

“Gonna fill you up,” Harry said, sitting up between Louis’ thighs and crazily thrusting into him, all rhythm lost, and he grabbed Louis’ hand as he started to come hard, filling Louis with every drop of his release. “Ah god, Louis…” Harry murmured before he collapsed down on top of Louis, still buried inside him. Louis’ come transferred onto his own torso, but Harry didn't care, panting and coming down from his own orgasm.

A few minutes later, he pulled out, already noticing Louis was starting to harden again, eyes raking all over his naked body. Harry pushed his cock back inside the lace knickers, moaning at his sensitivity and reached up to unlock the handcuffs, freeing Louis. Louis wasted no time in sitting up quickly, and pulled Harry into a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing in each other’s mouths, both taking what they needed from the kiss. Harry groaned as Louis palmed at his cock, clearly ready for a second round.

“Now that was fucking amazing, and now I want to do the same to you,” Louis whispered into his ear, making Harry shudder. “Gonna make you feel so good, Haz…” Harry just nodded, and went to lie down, Louis grabbing a handful of his hair to stop him moving. “On your side, face me…” Harry nodded, and did what Louis asked, letting Louis slip a thigh between his legs, grinding up against him.

They kissed lazily for a few minutes, their cocks brushing, Louis loving the feel of the rough lace on his bare cock. Before long, Louis was hard again, and desperate to be inside his husband.

“Don’t know how I want to fuck you… how do you want to be taken?” Louis asked, and Harry panted as he let Louis continue rubbing against him. “Want to ride me?” Harry shook his head, wanting Louis to be in charge now.

“Behind… fuck me from behind,” he got out, surprised when Louis pulled away, looking down at him. He went to slip the thong off, sure it would be in the way when Louis stopped him with a hand on his wrist, a serious look on his face. “You don’t want it off?”

“Leave it on, I’ll pull it to the side,” Louis mumbled, and Harry blushed deeply, secretly loving that thought. He scrambled onto his hands and knees, arms already feeling shaky at holding himself up, realising he wouldn’t last very long like this. He moaned as Louis pushed two fingers quickly inside him, knowing he was already loose from opening himself up already. He groaned, pushing his hips back, riding Louis’ fingers. His leg was aching in this position, but there was no way he was giving in now. He needed to be fucked.

“Lou, please-” he whispered, and Louis nodded, grabbing the thin string of fabric and sliding it to one side, holding the base of his cock as he lined up with Harry’s hole, watching as his cock started to sink deep inside Harry’s body. His eyes didn't move as his cock disappeared, gripping onto Harry’s hips as he bottomed out, panting slightly at how good Harry felt around him. It had been a long time since he’d got to take Harry like this, and already it felt like too much. “Oh my god..” Harry murmured, hanging his head, focusing on keeping himself upright.

“So good for me, Haz, take my cock so well,” Louis praised, running a fingertip up Harry’s spine, enjoying how he shuddered under the touch. His hand continued until it was in Harry’s hair, grasping at a handful and tugging harshly, making Harry cry out, bucking back, sending Louis’ cock deeper inside him. “What do you want, love?”

“You,” was all Harry answered with, going still, letting Louis thrust harshly into him. The glide of Louis’ wide cock inside him felt so good, he felt so loved and cherished, and part of Harry wished he could do this all night, that he could keep Louis inside him forever. “Love you so much, Lou-”

“Love you more,” Louis said, his left hand tightening round Harry’s waist, smirking as he looked down at his wedding band, remembering all that represented. “I want you forever, Haz… just you and me.”

“Come in me,” Harry replied, and Louis groaned, speeding up his hips, flicking them faster against Harry, the sound of their skin slapping filling the bedroom. The sheets beneath them were covered in sweat, come, and lube and while that should be disgusting, Louis loved it, loved that it meant he and Harry were back to having sex as they always had done… full of love and passion for each other.

Louis closed his eyes as he continued to fuck Harry hard, feeling the familiar tug low in his abdomen. He started to thrust harder and faster, nearer his orgasm. He reached a hand around Harry’s bare body, tugging at his hard cock, Harry crying out with pleasure, and soon, Louis started to come hard, calling Harry’s name as he spilled deep inside him, feeling his come already start to seep out of his husband, groaning at the sensation of it all.

“Love you Lou, love you so much,” Harry said in a voice so low Louis almost didn't recognise it, and Louis pulled out, flipping Harry over and yanking down the thong, slipping Harry’s cock between his lips, sucking just a few times before Harry came with a shout, Louis struggling to swallow it all down. He popped off, licking his lips and smiled up at his husband, who now had an arm thrown across his eyes, breathing heavily.  “You are fucking amazing.”

“Knew you married me for a reason,” Louis said with a smile, coming up to kiss Harry, tucking his soft cock back into the thong again, liking how it looked too much to want to take it off. Harry looked stunning like this, all fucked out and sweaty on their marital bed, and Louis thought once again how lucky he was, that he got to see Harry like this, that he got to love him and be loved by him in return.

He pulled Harry’s arm out, snuggling in to his side, not caring at all about the sweat and come coating their bodies. “Love you, Harry Tomlinson.”

“Love you more, husband,” Harry whispered back, kissing Louis’ forehead. It didn't take long for the pair to fall asleep in each other’s arms after whispering yet more words of love to each other. They were sweaty, they were sated, and still, eighteen months after first laying eyes on each other, deeply in love.

*****

Just over a week later, Louis had dropped Harry for his physio appointment, and had Jacob in the backseat of their Audi, on his way to drop him off at Anne’s for tea, while Louis helped Harry get home. He was driving now, but after physio, he was tired and never wanted to risk anything. Louis was more than happy to help out, and was already looking forward to the roast lamb Anne had promised them when they were done.

“It sucks we don’t get to do the Christmas play now I’m Year 3,” Jacob whined from the backseat. “I can only be in the choir.”

“Well, that’s fine. Dad and I will still come and watch, and you know Dad will help you practise the songs,” Louis said, flicking the indicator and pulling off the third exit on the roundabout. “I can’t believe we’re sorting out Christmas things already!”

“I know, what do you want for Christmas, Daddy?” Jacob asked, and Louis thought for a moment. “Actually, never mind, I have an idea.”

“Oh, tell me,” Louis teased, knowing Jacob wouldn’t budge. “Go on, don’t be a spoilsport!”

“Nope. I’m going to talk about it with Dad and that’s all or it won’t be a surprise!”

“Okay.” Louis smiled back at his son in the rearview mirror, and for a second, Jacob had such a look of Harry about him. His hair was styled similarly to Louis’ husband’s, and the grin Jacob gave him reminded him so much of Harry. Louis realised something then, and his heart felt full at the idea of it. “So, have you had any ideas about what to get Dad?”

“Nah, he says he has everything he wants cos he’s got you and me, but that’s a bit rubbish really cos he can’t unwrap us for Christmas, can he?” Jacob said, not really understanding the words Harry had clearly said to him. “Do you know what to buy him?”

“I think I just might,” Louis said with a small smile, parking the car in Anne’s driveway and turning around in his seat, facing Jacob. “We need to have a serious talk about it first though, it’s pretty, well, big.”

Jacob sat and listened as Louis explained his idea, eyes widening and head nodding eagerly when Louis revealed it. He wriggled into the front seat, jumping into Louis’ lap behind the wheel and wound his arms around Louis’ neck holding on tightly, the two enjoying a touching father son moment for a minute.

“Daddy’s gonna really love that,” Jacob said with a big smile. “But we have to keep it a secret until Christmas morning?”

“Yep, can you do that, love?” Louis asked, Jacob smiling and nodding in reply. “Good boy. It’s going to put the biggest smile on his face, you know.”

“How many sleeps to go?” Jacob asked as he unlocked the door, sliding out until his trainers hit the gravel below, crunching as he ran up to the door, pushing the bell repeatedly.

“Not too many,” Louis said, laying a hand on his son’s head, his Harry backpack hanging from Louis’ hand. “It’ll be here before you know it.”

“And I can’t wait!” Jacob shouted, running into Anne’s open arm as the front door swung open. Louis couldn’t wait either… it was going to be the best Christmas ever.

 

 


	45. All I Want for Christmas is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis celebrate Louis’ birthday and Christmas with Jacob and their families. A few surprises are in store for all of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final scene is ENTIRELY Liz's fault. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

“Oh god… Haz…” Louis moaned, trying to keep his noises to a minimum, knowing Jacob was just along the hallway but what Harry was doing with his tongue between his legs was just too good to keep totally quiet. “I need… fuck, Haz..”

Harry stuck his head up from under the cover then, peering up at Louis, the lower half of his face covered in lube and spit, a sight for sore eyes in Louis’ opinion. “Just be patient, love. It’s your birthday, I’m going to spoil you today. Just enjoy… I’ll get inside you in a minute.” Louis nodded as Harry disappeared again, the heat reappearing over his entrance as Harry started licking at him again, holding Louis’ thighs open under the covers with the palms of his hands.

Just when Louis had thought he had had enough, Harry kissed his rim, licking around once more before he shuffled around, the feathers in the duvet covering them making a rustling sound. Louis giggled at the feel of Harry moving around, and when Harry’s head reappeared with sweaty cheeks and a big grin, Louis didn't hesitate to pull him into a kiss, despite where his mouth had been,

The kiss allowed Harry to swallow back the moan Louis released as Harry finally pushed inside him, his hips rocking gently as he made love to his husband on his twenty-ninth birthday in the very early hours of the morning before their son had even risen. Louis shuffled around, letting the heels of his feet rest on Harry’s lower back as Harry pushed into him over and over, their bodies moving in rhythm, both men kissing slowly and passionately. Louis sucked at Harry’s tongue, eyes shut, enjoying the sensation of Harry filling him up.

“Love you so much,” Harry whispered reverently as they neared their orgasms, bringing up a hand to clutch at Louis’, hips stilling for a moment as they kissed again, Louis feeling more loved than he ever had. “Wanna be here every year to wish you happy birthday, to show you how much I love you and want you, how happy I am that you’re mine.” He flicked his hips quickly then, making Louis grunt out and squeezed his hand as they started to come together, his free hand stroking Louis through his release, his lips keeping him quiet.

Harry hummed quietly as he spilled hotly inside Louis, and slowed his thrusts when his cock started to feel oversensitive. He didn't pull out, instead falling down onto Louis’ chest and kissing the soft skin there for a moment, listening to the pounding of Louis’ heart, smiling softly that he’d caused that. After a few moments, he pulled out gently and slipped out from between the covers, tiptoeing to the bathroom where he dampened a flannel, creeping back to wipe Louis’ chest and stomach down, swiping over his own crotch before chucking it through the open doorway, climbing back into bed.

Louis pulled Harry close, letting Harry’s head loll down onto his chest as he pushed his fingers through his husband’s thick curls, feeling entirely loved and cherished. “I love you. Thank you for that… best birthday present so far,” he said with a slight smile, the darkness enveloping them both once more. He sighed and Harry shifted, bringing his leg up to rest over Louis’, keeping them both warm.

“Love you more,” Harry whispered before pecking Louis’ lips, closing his eyes. “No doubt Jake will have us up early so get back to sleep, love.” Louis just nodded, already half asleep again and Harry smiled to himself, already looking forward to the day ahead.

*****

As predicted, Jacob barged into their room at just after half six in the morning, and Harry had sent him away downstairs to grab the cards and presents he’d left in the living room while the pair of them quickly wrestled themselves into some boxers under the covers, giggling about their middle of the night naughtiness.

Jacob had emptied the bag onto the bed, and Louis, Harry and him sat for a while as Louis opened the pile of cards and presents left for him by his family. They were popping over to Jay’s later for some tea and cake, but for the rest of the day would be on their own so everyone had decided to leave their gifts at Louis’ so he could have them in the morning. Louis particularly loved the handmade cards from Jacob and his younger siblings, and had a nice pile of cash and vouchers to spend at his own leisure once Christmas was done.

Harry handed him a small rectangular present wrapped in blue foil paper, and presented it to Louis with a kiss. Louis smiled shyly and opened it, wondering what Harry had done since he hadn’t actually asked for anything, saying that he had everything he ever wanted, and anyway, he wasn’t a particularly materialistic person. His grin only got wider when he pulled out a wooden frame, the words MY FAMILY carved into the top, and inside was a beautiful picture of Harry, Louis and Jacob taken on tour in the summer by Niall. Harry had Jacob perched on his leg, and Louis was next to him, their linked hands on his other thigh. They looked so happy, and it almost made Louis tear up.

He noticed a little envelope tucked against the back and pulled it out, smiling at the ‘Lou’ written on it with a little heart at the end. He cracked it open and pulled out a little card, handwritten by Harry.

_I know you’re a family man, so I’ve arranged a photoshoot with Emily for our whole family in the New Year, so we can have a big family picture for our home. Love you Lou xxx_

Louis gasped, knowing he’d been talking for a while about having a picture with their entire huge family, and the fact Harry had asked his tour photographer to come and shoot them meant so much to him. He surged up onto his knees and hugged Harry tightly around the neck, kissing him quickly and then scooping up Jacob to do the same.

“This is… it’s perfect,” Louis whispered, staring once more at their family picture. He couldn’t help but think about the fact that maybe in a few years, there’d be another little person in a family photo with them, and he grinned to himself at the thought. “I love it all, thank you.”

“Oh! There’s more!” Jacob said, clapping his hands excitedly. “Me and Daddy are cooking you a special dinner later on, so you’ve got to sit on your bum and watch telly while we’re busy. You’re not allowed in the kitchen at all so do as you’re told.”

Both Harry and Louis laughed at his instruction, and Louis nodded, realising Jacob was waiting for an answer. “That sounds perfect. Am I allowed to know what we’re having?” Jacob looked to Harry who shook his head minutely, and Jacob grinned wickedly.

“Nope. It’s a surprise, silly!” He turned and high-fived Harry, the pair looking like a right little team. _Team Tomlinson_ , Louis thought to himself. “But I can tell you Dad said we can make birthday pancakes, with chocolate chips as a treat. So let’s all go down 'cause I’m starving, and if I don’t eat, I really think I might die.” Louis cackled at his son’s dramatics, but allowed him to pull Louis to his feet, the three stumbling down the stairs together, full of birthday cheer and spirit, and the excitement of what was to come.

*****

The rest of Louis’ birthday passed by full of happiness, love and cheer. They’d spent the afternoon at Jay’s, having the cake that Harry had ordered, a Doncaster Rovers themed cake from a posh bakery that had undoubtedly cost a fortune, and Louis had had to prise the rest away from the Tomlinson clan, intent on saving a little bit for Harry’s family, who they were seeing tomorrow for Christmas.

He and Harry had promised Jay that in the New Year, they’d looked after the two younger sets of twins while Dan took Jay on a weekend mini break they’d booked each other as a Christmas present, Harry looking far too excited at the prospect of a house full of children for the weekend. After they’d eaten cake and drunk too much fizzy drink, they headed home, Louis being banished to the living room to watch made for TV Christmas movies while smells wafted from the kitchen, the sound of Jacob and Harry singing to a Christmas playlist filling the house.

Louis had ended up muting the TV, just listening with a smile to his boys singing together, Harry guiding Jacob gently with his instructions, Louis feeling hungrier the nearer it got to dinnertime. Eventually, Jacob and Harry hurried out of the room, making Louis promise not to go into the kitchen until he was told. A few minutes later, they returned, dressed in matching white shirts with pink ties, and smart trousers. They looked utterly adorable, and Louis felt like the luckiest man in the world.

They disappeared into the kitchen until Jacob came back out, standing in front of Louis.

“Daddy, your special birthday meal is ready. Please come with me.” Louis bit back a smile as he got to his feet, letting Jacob take his hand and practically drag him into the kitchen. They’d decorated the table for the occasion, using one of their smart tablecloths, their nice tablemats, and there was even a candle in the middle. Jacob guided Louis to his chair and Harry winked at him, bringing over the plates as Louis sat down, smiling at the effort they’d gone to.

“Wow, this looks amazing! You two did all this for me?” Louis smiled at the pair of them, sitting either end of the table.

“Of course, Lou. You’re our favourite person in the world, and we wanted to treat you.” Louis blew Harry a kiss and then Jacob, pulling out his phone to snap a photo of his meal, wanting to show Jay how spoilt he was being. “So, we’ve got penne pasta with steak, and lots of roasted veggies. Jacob was absolutely brilliant at helping me peel and chop the veggies, and he helped me weigh out the pasta too. He was a brilliant sous chef.”

“What’s a sous chef?” Jacob asked, shoving a forkful of pasta and veggies into his mouth, Louis gobsmacked at Jacob eating such a thing without protest.

“It means the one who helps the big chef,” Louis said, blowing on a fork of steak and pasta, closing his eyes at the taste explosion on his tongue. “Oh my god Haz, this is amazing! You two have to cook more, this is so delicious!”

“Oh, and we made a homemade pasto!” Jacob said, a big grin on his face as Harry chuckled.

“Pesto, love,” Harry reminded him, pleased to see both of his boys happily tucking in. They ate quietly for the rest of the meal, Harry clearing away afterwards and walking to the fridge, returning with a posh looking cheesecake. “And for pudding, your favourite Lou, vanilla and chocolate cheesecake.”

“God, I am being spoilt,” he said with a grin, watching as Harry sliced it up and slid three slices onto small side plates, putting one in front of each of them. He grabbed his glass of red wine, and Jacob followed with his cup of juice, and they smiled at Louis. “I’d like to make a toast to my lovely husband, and Jacob’s lovely Daddy. Happy twenty ninth birthday, love. We love you so much, and we hope you’ve had a lovely birthday.”

“Love you Daddy! Hope you liked your dinner!” Jacob chimed in as they clinked their glasses together, careful not to spill anything on the nice tablecloth.

“Best birthday ever,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand as Jacob started eating his cheesecake, well and truly over the soppy love declarations by now. “I love you, baby. Thank you. For everything.” He leaned over and let Harry capture his lips in a kiss. “Love you forever.”

“Forever and a day,” Harry mumbled against his lips. “Forever and a day.”

*****

Louis and Harry might have been up until the early hours finishing wrapping Jacob’s presents, but it didn't stop their excitement at hearing Jacob exclaim Santa had been at six the next morning. They were sat up in bed after a little early morning kissing session, and Jacob bounced eagerly on the end of the bed, only stopping when Louis reminded him about his dad’s bad leg, and to be careful.

They headed down the stairs, Jacob too excited by the fact Santa had been and eaten the mince pies he and Harry had made the other day, and Rudolph and the reindeers had munched the majority of the carrots they’d left out. He made quick work of the small sack of presents that Santa had left, happy with each one, and Harry was filled with pride at how grateful Jacob was for all his gifts.

Once Santa’s presents were out of the way, Louis had cleared up the pile of wrapping paper and Harry had ripped open several cardboard boxes, extracting various toys and presents for Jacob, they settled back next to the tree, pulling out a few parcels each and setting them on the carpet in front of them. Louis handed Harry a small box, wrapped in red paper with a white bow on top of it.

“Happy Christmas, love,” Louis said, watching as Harry fiddled with the paper, carefully pulling it open rather than ripping it as Jacob did. “I hope you like it.”

“If it’s from you, Lou, I’ll love it,” Harry reassured him, smiling down at the navy jewellery box in front of him. He gently cracked the lid open, gasping at the ring nestled against the black velvet cushion inside. “Oh Lou, it’s beautiful…. It’s the colour of your eyes.” He pulled out the silver and turquoise ring, sliding it onto the pointer finger of his left hand, smiling down at how it looked.  

Louis grinned as Harry admired it, holding out his hand so Jacob could look too.”Glad you like it. Looks perfect on you.”

“You always know what I love,” Harry said, crawling across the carpet and kissing Louis gently, cupping his hand on his cheek. “Now, your pressie.” He got to his feet and Louis frowned at him, wondering what Harry was planning. “Come on, then.”

Louis followed him down to Harry’s studio, sitting down on one of the cosy armchairs Harry had put in there, and Jacob crawled into his lap. They watched as Harry situated himself behind his piano, fiddling about with a few pieces of sheet music before he turned back to them, looking oddly nervous considering this was his natural environment.

“Okay. So, you said you didn't want anything for Christmas. Which is fine. But I couldn’t not get you anything. So, yeah. I wrote you a song, Lou. It’s going on the next album, but this version is just for you. I recorded it as well, so you have it but… yeah. It’s, um, it’s called _Sweet Creature_. I hope you like it.”

Louis smiled softly and pulled Jacob closer as Harry began to play, shocking Louis slightly with how good he was. He knew guitar was Harry’s instrument of choice, his go-to for songwriting and performing, but watching his long fingers glide easily over the keys was mesmerising. The sound was beautiful, slow and melodic chords sounding out before Harry started to sing, Louis listening intently to every word.

_Sweet creature_  
_Had another talk about where it's going wrong_  
_But we're still young_  
_We don't know where we're going_  
_But we know where we belong_

_And oh we started_  
_Two hearts in one home_  
_It's hard when we argue_  
_We're both stubborn_  
_I know, but oh_  
  
_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_Wherever I go, you bring me home_  
_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_When I run out of road, you bring me home_

_Sweet creature_  
_We're running through the garden_  
_Oh, where nothing bothered us_  
_But we're still young_  
_I always think about you and how we don't speak enough_

_And oh we started_  
_Two hearts in one home_  
_I know, it's hard when we argue_  
_We're both stubborn_  
_I know, but oh_

_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_Wherever I go, you bring me home_  
_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_When I run out of road, you bring me home_

_I know when we started_  
_Just two hearts in one home_  
_It gets harder when we argue_  
_We're both stubborn_  
_I know, but oh_

_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_Wherever I go, you bring me home_  
_Sweet creature, sweet creature_  
_When I run out of road, you bring me home_  
_You'll bring me home._

As Harry played the final chord, he looked up, startled to seeing Louis crying silently in his chair, clutching their son close, Jacob trying to soothe him with his little hand on his arm. Harry got up and crouched in front, Jacob sliding off so Harry could pull Louis into his arms.

“I didn't mean to make you cry,” Harry whispered as Louis cried into his shoulder, dampening the shoulder of the t-shirt he had dragged on that morning. “I love you, Lou. I just hope you know how much. I mean it, though. You always bring me home… you _are_ my home. You’ll always be my home.”

“I love you more, Harry,” Louis whispered back, still holding Harry close to him. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t think- I can never thank you enough. It’s the best gift anyone has ever gotten me.”

“What about me though? I haven’t had a present from you two yet!” Jacob said suddenly, and Louis and Harry couldn’t help but laugh as they turned to look at their son, hands on his hips, not looking as angry as he could do thanks to the Power Rangers dressing gown wrapped around his little body, and the green monster feet slippers on his feet. It wasn’t exactly a menacing look.

“Ah. Well, Nanny Anne is bringing your present with her,” Harry said cryptically, winking at Louis. “You’ll just have to be patient. Until then, I do believe it’s Christmas breakfast time.” Jacob cheered and ran off to grab the box of sausage rolls he knew he was allowed to tuck into for breakfast on Christmas Day, and before they left his studio, Harry grabbed Louis and kissed him deeply, both men closing their eyes as their tongues met. “Love you, hubby.”

“Love you more,” Louis said softly, reaching a hand down to take Harry’s. “Always more. We have something for you too. Let’s go find Jake.” They held hands as they walked back into the sitting room, settling on the sofa before Louis called Jacob over, whispering something in his ear. Harry watched as Jacob’s eyes widened, nodding before he darted out of the room, returning a few seconds later with a plain envelope in his hands, decorated with various Christmas themed drawings Jacob had clearly done.

“Dad, this is your very special Christmas present from me and Daddy,” Jacob said, handing over the envelope to Harry. “I really, really hope you like it. Me and Daddy talked about it lots, and we think you will like it cos we really do.”

Harry smiled and unfolded the sticky flap at the back, feeling very curious about what could possibly be inside. Louis had pulled Jacob onto his lap now and the pair were staring him, unnerving Harry a little bit. He pulled out the bundle of paperwork inside, still facing away from him. He released a breath he didn't realise he was holding before he turned it over, reading the words in front of him. There was a little note from Louis and Jacob covering whatever was underneath, wishing him a Merry Christmas, and telling him that if he agreed to this, it would make all of their dreams finally come true.

Harry swallowed as he flipped the paperwork, eyes immediately tearing up as he began to read, the words soon swimming around on the page in front of him. He bit his lip and looked up at Louis, seeing tears reflected in his own eyes, how his hands were gripping Jacob’s tightly, both clearly waiting for some sort of reaction.

“Is this… is this for real? You- you want this?”

“More than anything,” Jacob whispered, Louis nodding next to him, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. “I want you to be my official Dad.”

Harry could feel his chest start to shake with sobs as he kept reading, taking in how Louis had begun to fill in the petition of adoption paperwork with his and Jacob’s details, leaving Harry’s section blank and ready for him. “Oh my god,” Harry whispered, wiping away the tears away from his cheeks before they could fall and smudge the ink on the precious paperwork in his hands. “You want me to adopt Jacob.”

“We talked about it,” Louis said, his voice shaky and full of emotion, reaching out to grab Harry’s hand. “I explained to Jacob what it meant, and he told me it’s what he wants… what we both want, Harry. He’s your son, of course he is, as much yours as he is mine. But this.. It’s the last step for us. This will just make it official that he’s yours, and you’re his. We hope you want this too.”

Harry carefully put the paperwork behind him and finally allowed himself to cry, Jacob sliding off Louis’ lap and straight into Harry’s, holding his little arms around his neck. “Please tell me the tears mean you want to be my Daddy for real,” Jacob whispered, and Harry just nodded, reaching out for Louis and pulling him into the hug as well. He sobbed into Jacob’s shoulder, everything sinking in… the fact that Louis was giving him his son, in every way. They were family, and this was it… this made it official.

“I- oh god, just… thank you, thank you so much. This is everything I have ever, ever wanted, my boys…” Harry said between his tears, holding both of his boys close. “I love you both so much, this, god, you’re both everything to me. My everything. I love you. Thank you, oh my god, thank you, thank you -” Louis wrapped his arms around his boys then, his own tears dripping down his face, the emotional moment overcoming him as well.

“He said yes, Daddy,” Jacob said, pulling away slightly to look at Louis. “You said he’d want to be my official Daddy and he does. My Christmas wish came true.” Harry cried again at that, pulling Jacob back into the hug before he finally released him, picking up the paperwork with shaky hands, looking down at it.

“I can’t believe this. My god, Lou, you have no idea how much this means to me. Can we… can we do this soon? I want this, and I don’t want to wait. Please?” He wiped away a few more tears, and Louis nodded, drying his own tears now.

“You just need to fill in your parts, and then we go to court, and fingers crossed, you’ll be granted the adoption order and he’ll be your son. Officially, that is.”

“Can I ask him now?” Jacob stage whispered, and Harry watched as Louis nodded. “Okay. Daddy says we’re all Tomlinson’s which is super cool and I love it. But I want something of you too. Daddy says if it’s okay with you, I’m allowed to change my name. My whole big name is Jacob William Tomlinson. But I want it to be Jacob William Edward Tomlinson when you adopt me, if you let me share your Edward name. So can I share it? Please?”

“Oh god,” Harry said, starting to cry again. “You don’t even have to ask my love.. It’s yours. That means so much to me, that you want us to have the same name.”

“A son needs something from his father,” Louis said softly, sniffing slightly. “We can put in a name change petition when the adoption is finalised. Thank you. For saying yes. I mean, I didn't doubt it, not really, but just knowing you want it too.. It’s everything, Harry.”

“No, you’re everything, you two,” Harry corrected, letting Jacob run away now he’d got the answers he wanted, and he pulled Louis into his lap. “I love you, Louis. You’ve made more of my dreams come true. Thank you.”

“Well, you completed us, so we’re as good as each other,” Louis said, smiling. “Can we tell our families later? I know Jake has been dying to tell everyone and to be honest, I’m shocked he’s kept it a secret this long.”

“Oh my god, my Mum is gonna freak,” Harry said, grinning at last. “She’s been bad enough since I told her we’d talked about babies, but this… god, it’s gonna push her over the edge.”

“It’s alright, I’ll just ply her with mulled wine, she’ll be fine,” Louis said, laughing as he kissed Harry messily, neither of caring about their mixed tears. “Love you so much. Happy Christmas, sweetheart.”

“Happy Christmas, Lou. Now let’s go get that turkey in the oven, it probably takes about 6 hours to cook...”

*****

Two hours later, Harry and Louis had a full house. They were just waiting on Harry’s parents to arrive, since they’d told them a slightly later time than Louis’ brood, and Jacob was incredibly wound up, excited and impatient for his gift. The doorbell rang and Jacob ran down the hallway in his socks, screeching to a halt, Harry shouting at him to be more careful as he flung the door open. He frowned down as he saw Anne and Robin were empty-handed, peering around to see if his gift was hidden.

“Let them in, love,” Harry prompted him, hugging his mum and step-dad as they stepped indoors. He took their coats, taking them upstairs to the guest bedroom to get them out of the way before he came back down, meeting Robin in the hallway and they snuck out to the garage, grabbing the things for Jacob. Robin stayed outside the living room while Louis sat with Jacob on the floor, talking to their gathered family members, Jay pouring Anne a drink.

“Okay, Jacob?” Harry called, everyone falling silent. “Time for your present, love.” Jacob sat up straight, and Harry turned around, heading out. “Now, we know you’ve talked about this before and we’ve always said no. But now you’re a bit older, and can help out and are a responsible boy, we thought you deserved this.” He winked at Louis as Robin carried in a basket, setting it gently on the floor.

Harry prised open the lid and reached in, gently lifting out the small bundle, kissing the top of its head gently before he turned around.

“OH MY GOD!” Jacob said before Louis hurriedly slapped a hand over his son’s mouth, quietening him down. Jacob wriggled away and ran to Harry, skidding to a halt in front of him. “A puppy?! He’s my puppy?”

“He’s your puppy,” Harry confirmed, sitting cross-legged on the floor with the puppy in his lap. Jacob sat carefully next to him, reaching out and stroking the dog’s soft brown fur between his big ears, rubbing gently. He could see tears in his son’s eyes, and he gently maneuvered the puppy over to his lap, Jacob looking happier than he’d ever seen him. Harry was pleased to see his sister, and Louis’ older sisters taking photos. “Do you have any idea what you want to name him?”

Jacob thought for a second before he nodded. “Percy. Percy Tomlinson.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis, not entirely pleased with the name but they’d both agreed Jacob was allowed to name him, and no matter what he chose (within reason of course), they’d go with it. Jay was biting back a laugh, and Anne was sniggering into her wine glass, and Harry just nodded, sighing as he realised that was it.

“Okay then. Welcome to the family, Percy.” Jacob grinned widely at them both, and Robin and Dan disappeared, carrying the new bits Harry and Louis had spent a small fortune on at the pet store the other week when they’d agreed to getting Jacob a puppy. They thought the boy needed some responsibility, and caring for a puppy seemed good to work up to possibly having a new baby in the house in the next few years.

The younger sets of twins slid onto the floor then, everyone making a fuss of Jacob and his puppy as Harry, Anne and Jay slipped back off into the kitchen, intent on getting the Christmas dinner preparation underway. Harry had insisted that both the women could go and sit down but he realised it was a futile exercise, and just let them help, figuring three sets of hands were better than his one.

A few hours later, Percy was sound asleep in the plush basket in the corner of the sitting room and the Tomlinson-Deakin-Styles-Twists were seated around the two large adjacent tables in Harry and Louis’ huge dining room, plates piled high with food that Harry and his mum and mother-in-law had spent the morning preparing. Everyone was tucking in, happy smiles on their faces as they popped crackers, ate heartily and clinked glasses as they professed Christmas cheers to each other. Considering the time it took to cook the meal, it was eaten surprisingly quickly, and everyone praised Harry for his meal, tummies full with smiles on their faces.

“Can I tell them?” Jacob said when there was a lull in conversation, and Harry looked to Louis, who smiled and nodded. Jacob hopped down from his seat between Dan and Lottie, and jumped into Harry’s lap, everyone watching and waiting to see. “I gave my Dad a special Christmas present today,” he began, the adults sipping on their wine as they listened. “Shall I go and get it?”

“Maybe after,” Harry said, keen for everyone to hear their news. “Just tell them for now, we’ll show them later.” Jacob nodded and carried on in a confident voice, all the eyes around the tables on him. There was no preamble about his announcement, and Jacob got the point in typical child fashion.

“I asked Dad to adopt me properly so he’d officially be my Dad. And I’m changing my name when he adopts me to Jacob William Edward Tomlinson so I have his name too.” There was a stunned silence before everyone started cheering and clapping, Harry feeling ridiculously emotional all over again at how happy everyone was for them.

Anne walked around the table and grabbed Harry and Jacob in a tight hug. “I’m so, so happy for the both of you,” she said, voice full of emotion. “I know how much you’ve wanted this, love, your little family I mean. Now you’ve got everything you ever wanted.”

“I really did,” Harry said, kissing Jacob’s cheek as he grinned up at Anne. “I got my boy, got my husband, and now, apparently, a puppy.” He chuckled at that, full of happiness. “And maybe soon I’ll be lucky enough to get the last piece of my puzzle.”

“You will,” Anne said with certainty. “If anyone deserves a happy ever after, it’s you and Louis. I promise you that. But honestly, darling, I’m so happy for you. I can’t imagine how you felt when Louis and Jacob asked you.”

“They gave me the official adoption papers, Mum. They really want this.” He sniffed, and Anne hugged him, grabbing Louis as he walked by.

“Thank you, for making my son so happy,” she whispered into Louis’ ear, sniffing back the tears in her eyes. “You’ve given him, us, so much, Louis. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, and I mean that.”

“He’s the best thing that happened to us,” Louis replied, taking Harry’s hand. “That much I do know.”

*****

Harry slid into bed later that night with a sigh, feeling a little weary after a long and very emotional day. Louis was putting the puppy into the crate the breeder had instructed them to use, and Harry was pleased to hear all was silent. The puppy had already used the training pad they’d been assured he’d been shown how to use, and finally, they’d persuaded Jacob to bed, promising Percy would be there in the morning when he woke up.

Louis came into the room, closing the bedroom door behind him, smiling at his husband who was laid out under the duvet. “Well, that’s Christmas done for another year,” he said with a sigh, kissing Harry as he pulled off his own clothes, getting into bed next to Harry. “What a day. I haven’t cried so much in a long time. You’ve made me an emotional wreck, Haz.”

“Sorry,” Harry said, smiling as he leaned over the edge of the bed, pulling a Christmas gift bag into his lap. “And Christmas isn’t over quite yet,” he said with a wink.

Louis laughed and pulled open his bedside drawer, grabbing a small Christmas parcel out and putting it on top of the duvet in Harry’s lap too. “I like the way you think, Tomlinson,” he said, smirking slightly at Harry. “Now, this one I couldn’t give you til now because… well, you’ll see.”

Harry pushed the gift bag towards Louis, and tore at the festive red paper, pulling out something wrapped in tissue paper. He carefully unfolded it, jaw dropping as the item dropped out on the quilt cover, giggling as he held up the present. It was a pair of red lacy knickers, cut high at the backside, with a red white striped ribbon at the waist tied in a little bow.

“Fucking hell, Lou,” he breathed out, a little turned on at the thought of wearing them for Louis despite the fact he was feeling tired. “I love it.”

“Yeah?” Louis asked, running his fingers over the lace, imagining Harry in them. “Can I open mine now?”

“Please do,” Harry breathed out, still touching the lace between his fingers, cock twitching under the duvet. He watched as Louis pulled out the scrunched up tissue, smiling at the beautifully wrapped present. “Wrapped it myself. Even put a little bow on it.”

“Thank you, love,” Louis said as he pulled the paper off, laughing as the present was revealed. “Really, Harold? A vibrating dildo?”

“Yep,” Harry said, glad that Louis seemed to like the present. “Wanted to buy you something new for the box… something for us to have fun with.”

“Now?” Louis asked, arching an eyebrow and Harry nodded, flinging the knickers onto his bedside table, reaching under the covers and sliding his boxers off before he rolled over, pulling Louis’ off too. “You’re eager…”

“Eager to have sex with my husband? Too fucking right,” Harry whispered, pulling Louis on top of him and into a filthy kiss. They moaned and started to grind against each other, both desperate for touch now. “I’m gonna wear the knickers when you least expect it, promise.” Louis just nodded and pushed his tongue back into Harry’s mouth, whimpering as his bare cock brushed Harry’s.

“So, you gonna use it on me?” Louis purred, and Harry nodded, accepting the lube that Louis had leaned over to get, flipping open the cap and coating a couple of fingers. Louis spread his legs, still kissing Harry and groaning as Harry pushed one finger inside him, twisting and crooking it, driving Louis wild with desire already. “Shit, more Haz… come on-”

“Alright,” Harry murmured, pushing in a second finger alongside the first, scissoring them slightly, determined to stretch Louis open as soon as possible. “Get that thing open, yeah?” Louis nodded, leaving his legs spread as Harry worked between them, Louis wrestling with the packet of the dildo before he pulled it out.

“Batteries?” Harry nodded his head in the direction of the bedside table, and Louis twisted his torso, grabbing the packet Harry had thoughtfully already bought. He twisted off the end and slid them in, switching it on and smirking at the strength of the vibration. “Looks good, love. Good choice- ah, Haz!” Louis moaned as Harry twisted his wrist again, changing the angle of his finger, panting as Harry brushed over his prostate, needing more.

“Thanks, it had good reviews,” Harry said as he pulled his fingers out, already hard at the noises Louis had been making. He wiped his fingers down on the bed, satisfied Louis was open enough. He looked down at his naked husband, waiting for him with the new purple dildo in hand, and he grabbed it, covering it in a thin layer of lube, not wanting to hurt Louis at all. “Right, you ready?”

“Born ready,” Louis said, and gasped as Harry wasted no time in pushing the toy in, just holding onto the very end. “Fuck, you’re keen,” he said, and Harry nodded, cheeks red and pupils blown as he started to move the dildo inside Louis, watching down between Louis’ legs unable to drag his eyes away. “Feels so good, harder love-”

Harry moaned and started stroking his own cock with his free hand, pushing the toy in a little harder and faster before he decided to flick the button starting the vibrations on their lowest setting for now, giving Louis a chance to get used to it. Louis cried out and writhed underneath him, and Harry took his hand off his cock, clamping it down on Louis’ hip instead, holding him still. “Oi, be good,” Harry whispered, licking his lips at how Louis’ body was responding to him. He changed the angle again and Louis cried out, fists thumping on the mattress underneath him. “Good?”

“More, faster,” Louis instructed, and Harry nodded, flicking the setting to the next one, the buzzing getting louder. Louis was mumbling Harry’s name now, one of his hands around his wrist guiding the movements of the toy, and Harry happily let him take charge for a minute. Louis was never sexier than when he was being filled, and Harry wished he could do this every minute of his life, sure he’d die a happy man if this was the last thing he ever got to see.

“Babe, need to be quiet, don’t wanna wake anyone up…” Louis nodded and bit down hard on his bottom lip, rocking his body back against the toy, chasing the sensation again. “Last setting?” Harry didn't wait for a reply and flicked the switch with his thumb, smirking at how Louis’ body jerked at the feeling.

“Shit, too much- one less-” Louis cried, and Harry complied, knowing Louis wouldn’t ask for that if he didn't mean it. He continued to thrust the toy in and out in a rhythm, watching Louis come undone in front of him. “Need more-”

“You just said too much-”

“No, not full enough,” Louis moaned, burying his head into the pillow, cheeks flaming at his confession. “Need you.”

“Okay, let me just-” Harry made to withdraw the toy but Louis grabbed at his hand, holding it in place and shaking his head. Harry frowned, trying to work out what the hell Louis was talking about. “Well, what do you mean Lou?”

Louis squirmed slightly, blushing as he met Harry’s gaze. “Want you. And the dildo. Both of you. In me.”

Harry just stared, trying to make sense of what Louis was asking for. “Fuck. I mean… really? Are you sure? Will… um, will I fit?”

“Just try…” Louis said, writhing around as the toy kept buzzing inside him, bringing Harry’s attention back. “Lube… lots of lube. Please, Harry-”

“Shit, um, okay,” Harry mumbled, ridiculously turned on the idea of both himself and the dildo being inside Louis. “Here, take this a minute…” He let Louis take the dildo for a minute, watching his husband rock the toy deeply inside himself, moaning at the sensation again as Harry lubed up his cock, using what was probably too much but right now, in his opinion, there was no such thing as too much lube for what he was about to do. “Okay… you sure about this?”

“Yes.. get in me,” Louis rasped out, letting his legs fall against the mattress. Harry took the dildo in his hand again, angling it up, trying to work out how he was going to get inside Louis as well as the toy. He grabbed the base of his cock and shuffled forwards, gasping as the vibrations of the dildo buzzed against him as he got closer, trying to steady himself so he didn't come already. “Oh my god, Harry-”

“Ready?” Harry asked as he pushed the tip of his cock forward, feeling the resistance of Louis’ rim trying to stretch around him, the buzzing toy doing things to him Harry hadn’t expected. He rocked his hips, letting the head of his cock work inside, Louis breathing heavily as his body took both of them bit by bit, and Harry called out. “Lou, look at me, Lou-”

“Oh god… so full, so fucking full,” Louis mumbled, one hand on Harry’s thigh as he pushed inside, the first inch or so of Harry’s cock sliding in alongside the dildo. “Oh fuck- fucking hell, yesyesyes-”

“Oh Lou.. baby… so full of me, so good baby-” Harry purred, closing his eyes at how tight it felt around his cock, how warm and wet Louis felt, and the buzzing of the vibrator was almost too much. He rocked his hips gently, letting the tip of his cock slide in and out of Louis, looking down to how Louis was taking both things inside him, unable to drag his eyes away. “Louis… you are so fucking filthy, wanting to be so full… love you so much-”

“I’m gonna come, Haz-” Louis panted out, stroking his cock quickly, his hand just a blur to Harry now. Harry rocked the dildo along with his hips, and both men were chasing their release now, Harry still a little in shock at what they were doing. “Oh god-oh Harry- fuck-”

Louis started to come as Harry continued to rock inside him, the toy still buzzing away, Harry tilting it and pressing it against Louis’ prostate, Louis screaming into the pillow as his body bucked up, his cock blurting come all over his torso. It was enough to bring Harry to orgasm as well, muttering Louis’ name over and over as he came, pressing the dildo down against the tip of his cock, his body shaking with the strength of his orgasm, coming hard inside Louis.

Harry pulled out as he felt himself start to get sore, and he didn't want to hurt Louis. His cock throbbed as he slid out of Louis’ body, and turned off the vibrations, sliding the dildo out too, letting it drop onto the mattress. He leaned over, making Louis look at him, wanting to make sure he was okay.

“Lou, look at me-” Harry said, cupping Louis’ cheek and making him face him, eyes a little hazy. “Baby, was that okay?”

“Fuck,” was all Louis could answer, legs still spread on the mattress, come dripping out of him. Harry sat up, gazing down between Louis’ legs and smirked at how open Louis was, much more so than when just Harry’s cock had been inside him. “Did we just do that?”

“Yeah, shit, we did,” Harry said with a little laugh. “You are so fucking filthy, babe. God, I love you so much…” He kissed Louis, their tongues lazily pressing against the others. He pulled himself away, flopping down onto the sheet next to Louis, the pair still panting and sweaty.

“I love you too,” Louis whispered, reaching down for Harry’s hand. Harry turned then, and Louis looked at him, and they smiled softly at each other. Louis reached over to flip off the light, not caring he was covered in come and sweat, knowing he wouldn’t be able to walk to the shower just yet anyway. “That was so fucking good.” Harry just hummed in agreement. Louis threw an arm over his face and sighed, feeling completely spent. “God, I just-” He sighed again, not knowing what to say.

“Merry Christmas,” Harry said, smirking at him, and Louis just snorted, snuggling into Harry’s side. Best. Christmas. Ever.


	46. Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob and Harry face their fear together, and the Tomlinson's welcome in the New Year with promises of a great year to come...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manips belong to their talented owners, thank you.

Harry sighed and flopped back down in bed, a hand over his eyes. He’d woken up three times the previous night thanks to their new puppy Percy howling his way through the night, and he’d ended up slumped against the wall in just his boxers and one of Louis’ t-shirts, the little bundle of fluff on his lap. Harry was sure he must be missing his mum or something, and the guilt ate him alive. Thanks to that, he’d probably gotten about three hours sleep in total, and had a sore back for it as well.

Louis and Jacob were up and downstairs already, still playing their Christmas playlist on the house’s sound system, and Harry smiled as he listened in. Sometimes, he just felt incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful family, and this Christmas had solidified that thought in his mind. He still couldn’t get over the fact Louis and Jacob had arranged to give him adoption papers as his Christmas present, and he couldn’t wait for the New Year to get the ball rolling with things. The idea of having Jacob as his legal and official son after everything meant the world to him.

There was a soft knock at the door then, and Harry sat up slightly, calling for whoever was outside to enter. A little face peered around the door, a small grin on his face.

“Morning Dad,” Jacob said softly, and Harry opened his arms, telling the little boy it was fine to come in. Jacob grinned and hurried forwards into Harry’s waiting arms, hugging and kissing him before he pulled away. “Daddy says we’re going to walk Percy soon and if you want to come you have to please get out of bed now.” Harry chuckled at the awkwardness of Jacob’s words and nodded.

“Of course I’d love to come, sweetheart. Let me get dressed and I’ll come down and have brekkie with you both. Oh, Jake? You remember where we’re going later, yeah?” Jacob looked at the floor and nodded, so Harry carried on. “It’s going to be okay, you know? Me and Daddy are both going to be there the whole time, and we’re not leaving you, I promise.”

“I know,” Jacob said softly, smiling up at Harry now. “That’s ‘cause you’re the best dads in the whole world. We’re making bacon and eggs so hurry up before I eat it all!” He raced out of the room then, and Harry reluctantly climbed out of bed, pulling on a Christmas jumper and some jogging bottoms before sloping downstairs, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, watching Jacob and Louis dance around to Slade’s _Merry Christmas Everybody._ Louis flushed as he caught sight of his husband watching him, but danced over, smiling shyly.

“Morning gorgeous,” he said, reaching up to peck Harry’s lips. “And how are we today?”

“Tired,” Harry answered with a shrug. “I don’t know how you ever coped with a baby, Lou. You slept through Pers whining all night. I spent most of it on the floor with him. I know he’s older than a normal puppy is when you bring them home, but maybe that’s made it harder on him or something? Think we need to get some advice as I can’t be up all night when I’m back in the studio next month.”

“I know, love. Mum knows a couple of breeders I think, I’ll text and ask her for their numbers. Now come and eat.” He took Harry’s hand and they all sat around the table together, Percy curled up in his basket in the corner of the room, watching everyone and what they were doing. “So you coming on a walk with us?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, swallowing down the mouthful of delicious bacon and eggs that Louis had cooked. “We need to make sure we’re home in time for the appointment though.” He saw Jacob’s head drop to the table out of the corner of his eye and flicked his gaze over to Louis for a second. They ignored it, and carried on eating, knowing Jacob had to face up to things sooner or later, and he’d known this was coming for weeks.

“Right, I’ll wash up and you two get dressed, then we can go out,” Harry instructed once they were all finished, and Louis and Jacob did just that, racing each other up the stairs, Harry just eye-rolling at their competitiveness. Twenty minutes later, he and Percy were waiting outside on the driveway for Jacob and Louis. Percy was strapped to the posh lead Harry and Louis had bought, and was excitedly sniffing around, Harry smiling down at the puppy.

The front door opened behind him and Jacob ran out, the puppy diving behind Harry’s legs out of fright at the sudden sound of footsteps on gravel, and Jacob slowed down, looking sorry. “Sorry Dad, sorry Percy,” Jacob said, creeping near and slowly, Percy came out, sniffing the floor around them. Louis locked the door and slotted the keys into his coat pocket, black wooly scarf wrapped around his neck. Harry couldn’t help but think how gorgeous he looked.

“Okay then, Tomlinson’s. Everyone ready?” Louis asked, looking out at his little family, all waiting for him on the drive, their cars parked to the side.

“Dad, can I hold Percy’s lead?” Jacob said to Harry as they were about to set off, and Harry looked to Louis who nodded slightly. They’d decided to give Jacob some independence with his puppy, and Percy wasn’t strong enough to cause any real problems just yet anyway.

“Sure,” Harry said, taking the lead and wrapping it around Jacob’s wrist, making sure he held on tightly. “Don’t let go, okay?”

“I won’t, Dad! Come on Percy, let’s go exploring!” Harry and Louis linked hands and walked off, Jacob and Percy trotting in front of them. It was slow, Percy keen to sniff the floor, and every tree and lamppost they passed, but Harry thought it was just about perfect. He chatted easily to Louis about various things as they walked, smiling at other families out walking in the cold winter morning, and Jacob kept turning and grinning at them, all too excited by his new role as puppy owner.  Louis squeezed his hand and Harry tilted his head, looking at his husband.

“Love you, Haz,” Louis said quietly. “Never really dreamt this would be my life, you know? A husband, kid, puppy…”

“Kids, one day,” Harry said with a soft smile, nodding to a couple who were walking on the other side of the road, a pushchair in front of them as they walked. “Wanna start that soon?”

“Yeah, I reckon so,” Louis said with a secret smile, one he reserved only for Harry. “We’ll have to start looking into it properly. I’m not getting any younger, you know.” It was a running joke between them now that Louis was getting closer to his thirties that he was the much older one in their relationship, and Harry enjoyed winding him up about him being Louis’ toy boy. They’d had a good few bouts of sex thanks to that, actually.

“That’s true,” Harry said with a serious nod of his head, earning him a sideways barge from Louis, making him stumble and laugh. “Oi!” They laughed all the way home, Jacob turning around to look at his parents as if they’d lost the plot but honestly? Harry wouldn’t change a single thing.

*****

“You ready?” Louis asked Jacob as he saw Dr Chandler get out of her car, waiting at the side of the pavement for them. Since his initial appointments, Jacob had been growing in confidence with Dr Katie (as he called her), and they’d had their first family appointment just before Christmas. She’d been keen not to leave it too long after Christmas and Louis had understood, booking an appointment just before New Year to tackle this stage of Jacob’s counselling. It was something she had called Harry and Louis in to discuss, and despite their initial reservations, both thought it was a good idea once she’d explained.

“I guess,” Jacob said, watching as Harry got out of the car, checking for traffic before he opened Jacob’s door, helping him down onto the road and to the pavement. They’d left Percy at home for this, locking him in the kitchen, sound asleep in his basket, but part of Harry wanted to get back in the car and head home. This wasn’t easy for him either, and he’d been honest with Louis that he might struggle to cope, too.

“Okay, let’s go,” Louis said, taking Jacob’s hand, Harry taking the other as they walked up, Dr Chandler smiling at them all. “Good afternoon, Dr Chandler.”

“Good afternoon everyone. How are you all? Did you have a good Christmas?” Really, she was just addressing the question to Jacob, who nodded excitedly, a big smile widening on his face. Louis pulled out his phone, knowing what Jacob would want and handed it to the boy who ran over to her, bouncing on his toes.

“Daddy and Dad got me a puppy for Christmas, I called him Percy! Look Dr Katie, here he is! We walked him this morning and he’s so good on the lead, I got to give him a treat when we got home.” Dr Chandler crouched down and smiled at the photos Jacob was showing her, Louis pleased he’d put them in a separate folder so Jacob wouldn’t see anything else that may or may not on Louis’ phone. He handed it back, and Dr Chandler stood up, putting a professional face on again.

“Now, Jacob. You know why we are here, don’t you?” She looked down at the little boy who nodded, looking serious too now. “Okay. I think it would be good for you to walk with me so we can talk, and your dads will follow behind us. They’re not going anywhere, they’re just going to follow us. Is that alright?”

Jacob looked to Louis and Harry who stood together, hands linked as they nodded, trying to smile and tell Jacob it was okay. “Yes, Dr Katie. I’m going to try and be really brave.”

“Well, that’s good, but if you’re not brave, that’s okay too. You can tell us how you’re feeling, and if you’re worried, and a bit scared about something. We want you to be honest, Jacob.” He looked nervous then, so Harry stepped in.

“I, um, I feel a bit nervous, Dr Chandler. I haven’t been back here either since… well, since my accident, and this feels like a big deal to me. I’m glad to have my family here though, and I hope coming back will show me that there’s nothing to be afraid of, not anymore.”

“Thank you for your honesty, Harry,” she said, smiling at him, appreciating that Harry was showing Jacob admitting to his fears was nothing to be ashamed of. “We’re all here together, and if at any point anybody needs to stop, that’s fine too. Let’s head off, shall we?” She reached out and took Jacob’s hand, heading in the direction of the park and the area where Louis had come that fateful afternoon to find Jacob and Harry in a state, and they were quiet as they walked.

They rounded the corner, and Jacob sighed, pausing for a moment, looking ahead of him, clearly remembering something. Everyone waited, not wanting to push him.

“I remember the loud bang Daddy’s bike made on the car,” Jacob said quietly, and Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, closing his eyes, not wanting to think about it too much. “I screamed because I was scared, Daddy made a funny noise when he landed on the floor.” Louis and Harry didn't move. This was the first time they’d properly heard Jacob talk about it, and they didn't want him to stop.

“There was blood on the floor because of the cut on Daddy’s head, and I put my hand on it to try and stop it bleeding so bad like the first aider’s do at school. But it kept coming out and I was so scared. Then I remembered Daddy had his phone so I called my other Daddy to come and help me.”

“Well done, Jacob,” Dr Chandler said, pleased Jacob was talking about it in front of his parents. He’d opened up a lot in their sessions about what had happened, and his feelings, but she knew he’d held back so far from discussing it with Louis and Harry for whatever reason. “I think-”

“I thought Daddy was dead. That’s what made me cry so bad. He didn't move and when I said his name and touched him, he didn't do anything. And I feel like… because I asked to go on the bike ride, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t asked Daddy to take me, we would be safe and at home and he’d never have got hurt.” A tear tracked down his cheek then, and Harry had to hold himself back from rushing forwards to hold his son.

“His leg got broke bad, and he hurt his head, and it was my fault. When Nanny Jay took me home from the hospital, I thought it was because Daddy had died and no one wanted to tell me. I thought I had lost him forever.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself any more. He surged forwards, falling painfully onto his knees as Jacob ran at him, scooping his son into his arms and holding him close. He held him tight, breathing into his neck for a minute, feeling the stare of Louis and Dr Chandler on them both, but he didn't care. Jacob needed comfort, and quite honestly, so did Harry. Eventually, Jacob pulled away, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m glad you didn't die, Dad. I’d be really sad if I lost you now when I just found you. You make me the happiest boy ever, and Daddy loves you too. But I’m sorry you got hurt because of me and I never ever want you to be hurt ever again.”

Dr Chandler came over and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, stopping him from speaking for a moment. Instead, she knelt down too, forcing Jacob to look at her.

“Jacob, remember how we talked about this? That it wasn’t your fault Daddy got hurt, it was the person in the car who hurt Daddy who needs to take the blame, not you. All the times you’ve asked to go on a bike ride before… have either of your dads ever got hurt?”

“No,” Jacob mumbled, shaking his head slightly.

“And every time you go out with one of your dads, or both of them, do they get hurt because you ask to go out?”

“No,” Jacob said again, looking up now.

“So. It was one of those bad things that happen, out of your control, out of your dad’s control. No one knew that was going to happen, and no one could have stopped it. We all understand it was horrible, and that you were frightened. But Jacob… while I can’t promise bad things will never happen again, I can assure you what happened with your dad that day was _not_ your fault. It wasn’t dad’s fault.”

“Promise?” the boy said softly, clearly still needing reassurance.

“I promise,” Dr Chandler said, and Harry echoed that sentiment, Jacob hugging him again.

“Let’s go in. I like the swings here,” Jacob said, slotting his hand into Harry’s and tugging at him. Harry looked to Dr Chandler who nodded, and they walked off, Louis and Dr Chandler trailing in their wake. They watched as the pair stopped exactly where Louis had found them, and Harry turned, picking Jacob up, and they hugged for a second before walking through the entrance of the park, the first time since Harry’s accident. Louis welled up with tears, feeling a bit overcome at watching the inner strength and determination of his boys together, the way Harry dropped him to the floor, holding Jacob’s hand as they ran off towards the park together, Jacob pipping Harry to the post, forcing him to push him on the swing.

“He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” Louis asked, looking to Dr Chandler for an answer. She smiled and nodded, locking eyes with Louis.

“I think so,” she said quietly. “He’s finding it easier to talk about now which is a big step. The fact he spoke so openly in front of you and your husband is a good sign too. I think we need to continue the sessions for a while, broaden the scope of our conversations but being able to come here like this with Harry is an excellent sign. Can I ask how Harry is finding his counselling too?”

“Yeah, he’s getting better at talking too,” Louis said, nodding. “I mean, I don’t ask him specifics of what he talks about in his sessions. He tells me if he wants to, and that’s fine. It’s been a lot, you know. For them, and for me. Harry still has physio and wakes up in the night in pain with his leg, and Jacob still hasn’t been on a bike since. I had to get our friend Zayn to take the bikes out of the house after the accident. Harry’s was mangled, and Jacob couldn’t look at his.”

“He’ll get there,” Dr Chandler reassured him.

“I know, I just wish none of this had happened. But I think in a strange way, it’s made us stronger as a family. It’s shown Harry and I we can get through anything as long as we’re together. I just regret that I wasn’t there for Jacob more. I was torn between staying with my sick husband, and going home to my son. I know he was with my Mum, she’s like the best person in the world and he loves her to death but it’s not the same. I let him down.”

“Louis, you were in an impossible situation,” Dr Chandler said, facing Louis again. “Your husband was terribly ill, to the point where you didn't know for a while if he was going to wake up, or have some form of permanent damage to his brain. It was unquestionable that you would leave him. You didn't dump Jacob on the street, he was with his family, in a safe and loving environment that provided him with everything he needed. He has spoken about it, and he was content through that period. His grandparents took good care of him, and Jacob remembers fondly the things they did to distract him. It was a horrible situation, but I feel you and your family made the best of it that you could.”

Louis sighed, feeling like a burden had been released now he’d finally said the words that had been lingering inside him for too long. The guilt had been eating him up, the fact he felt like he had had to choose between his husband and son was awful, and either way, he’d always have felt like he’d made the wrong choice. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to go now. You’ve made Jacob’s next appointment?” Louis nodded, waving over to Jacob who was waving from the top of the swing, far too high for Louis’ liking. “Okay, well Happy New Year, Louis. Take care of yourself, and your family. Tell Jacob I will see him in a week’s time.”

“I will, thank you for everything,” Louis said, shaking her hand. “Happy New Year to you, too.” She waved and walked off, leaving Louis to join his boys at the swings. “Right then Jake, bet I can get myself higher than Dad can push you!”

*****

“Come in, come in,” Jay called as Harry let himself, Louis and Jacob in through the front door at her New Year’s party. They’d been invited round to Stan’s this year too, but Harry had been insistent they spend the time with Louis’ family. Anne, Robin and Gemma were coming by as well, and the thought of seeing in the New Year with his entire family filled Harry with a sense of contentment. Percy was scrabbling around on the floorboards, excited to be somewhere new, full of new smells and people.

Louis took the lead from Harry as he picked up the case of beer he and Louis had bought, and Jacob carefully balanced the tray of homemade snacks he and Harry had spent the past day making as they walked through the kitchen. Dan saw them and took the tray from Jacob, encouraging him to go and play with the other children, and smiled at Harry.

“How you doing, Harry?” he asked, following Harry to the kitchen before he put the food away in the fridge. “How’s the leg?”

“Not so bad, Dan, thanks,” Harry said with a grin. Jay came over and wrapped Harry up in a big hug, kissing both of his cheeks before grinning at him.

“Such a handsome son-in-law I’ve got,” she said, making Harry chuckle and blush. “Thank you for being here with us rowdy lot tonight,” she said honestly.

“Nowhere we’d rather be,” Harry replied, hugging her again.

“Put my mother down, Styles,” Louis called as he walked in. “Sorry, sorry- Tomlinson. Jake’s got Percy, the twins are entertaining him.” He pushed Harry out of the way and gave his mum a tight hug. “You look gorgeous Mum, new dress?”

“Like to dress up every now and then,” Jay said, giving them a twirl. “Although I honestly give it an hour before one of the kids has mushed some sort of food into it or dribbled on me.”

“Let us sort the babies tonight,” Louis said, pointing at himself and Harry. “You and Dan let your hair down a bit. The other kids are old enough to look after themselves.”

“Are you sure, Lou? This is your night too…”

“It’s fine, Jay,” Harry reassured her, looking up as the doorbell rang. “Oh, that’ll be-”

“IT’S NANNY ANNE AND ROBIN AND GEMGEM!” Jacob screeched from the sitting room, Lottie calling him to slow down as they went to answer the door together. Harry grinned at how excited Jacob was to see them and he walked up behind Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Louis’ shoulder, even though he had to hunch over slightly to do so.

Louis pulled away, giving Harry a quick kiss and taking his hand, guiding him through to the sitting room. He went straight to Anne and hugged her, while Harry greeted his step-father and sister, Jacob refusing to let go of Gemma’s hand, intent on her coming to watch _Mickey’s Magical Christmas_ with him, Ernest and Doris. She did so, rolling her eyes before she pulled her nephew into her lap, Doris quickly cuddling up on her other side, thumb in her mouth.

“Can’t wait for when Jacob has his own little brother or sister to cuddle up to,” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear, going all fond at the thought. “He’s going to be amazing, you know.” Louis nodded, resting his head on Harry’s chest, not caring their parents were watching the pair of them. After everything, affection was something Louis and Harry gave freely to everyone, and weren’t shy in displaying their love for each other in front of their families.

“I know. I always thought he’d forever be an only child,” Louis admitted, looking up at Harry. “It made me sad, because I grew up with so many sisters around me, and then Ernie of course, but I loved playing with them, teasing them, and being the protective older brother if someone made them cry. They might piss me off, but I wouldn’t change my load of sisters and brother for the world. And I’m so happy Jacob will get that too.”

Harry nodded and grinned, thinking about the day they might finally bring a baby home. “The more we talk about it, the more I want it,” Harry admitted, heart speeding up slightly at the thought of his husband with babies. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

“Um, I don’t mind..” Louis said, thinking about it for a moment. “I mean, a girl would be odd as I’ve only got experience of raising Jake, but I think I’d love a daughter who looked like you. But to be honest Haz, as long as they’re happy and healthy, I don’t mind.”

“Me neither,” Harry admitted. “Right, before this gets too soppy, let’s get a drink. What do you fancy?”

“Apart from you?” Louis teased, laughing as Harry slapped his butt on the way into the kitchen. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket, frowning at the display. “Ah, just Zayn wishing us all a Happy New Year. We’ll have to see him soon.”

“Definitely, we can get all the lads round, order in some Chinese or something,” Harry said, grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge. “Feels like we haven’t hung out in forever.”

“That’s cos we haven’t,” Louis said, settling down at the table next to Dan while Harry sat next to his Mum, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before he sat down.

The evening passed by quickly. Percy had fallen asleep near the fireplace in his basket, and didn't seem bothered by the noise of everyone around luckily. Everyone had been in a great mood, and Harry was currently sat on the sofa with Doris and Ernest sound asleep in his lap. Both children hadn’t left him alone after their Mickey film had finished, and about an hour ago, gave up and climbed onto Harry’s thighs, falling quickly asleep. Louis came back in from chatting with Mum and smiled fondly at his husband. He leaned over and picked up Ernie, leaving Harry with Doris for a second.

“Come on, let’s get these two to bed so everyone can enjoy themselves,” Louis said and Harry nodded, carefully getting to his feet while cradling the sleepy toddler in his arms. Jay and Dan came over, kissing their children and thanking Louis and Harry who made their way out of the room, the keen eyes of Anne and Gemma on the pair of them.

They arrived at the twins’ room, and made quick work of changing the sleepy children into their pyjamas and clean night time nappies before the tucked them in, switching and kissing the other twin. Louis had to admit he was impressed with Harry’s adeptness with sleeping toddlers and nappies, and before they left, they hugged, looking down on the sleeping bodies of the children, Ernie starting to snore slightly while Doris rolled over and clutched her teddy in her little arms.

“One day, love,” Louis whispered, knowing what was running through his husband’s mind. “And I know they look cute now, but when they’re screaming in the middle of a tantrum, you might not think they’re so lovely then, trust me.”

“I’ll love them whatever the case,” Harry said, referring not only to the sleeping twins in front of him, but his and Louis’ potential future children. “I just wanna be a dad again, see you with a baby, rock them to sleep, sing them lullabies…”

“And you will,” Louis reassured him. “Right now, let’s go and get pissed. We’re staying here tonight so we can enjoy a good drink, okay? I love you, Harry.”

“I love you more,” Harry said, pressing a quick kiss to Louis’ lips. “Let’s go down, love.”

*****

“5… 4… 3.... 2… 1… Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered, grabbing the nearest person to hug and kiss. Jay grabbed Dan, Anne grabbed Robin, Gemma grabbed Lottie and Félicité, and Phoebe and Daisy grabbed each other. Jacob, Ernest and Doris were all sound asleep upstairs, but had wished everyone Happy New Year earlier on. Finally, Harry turned to Louis and pulled his husband close, pressing their foreheads together as their bodies lined up against each other.

“Happy New Year, love,” he mumbled against Louis’ lips, sneaking his hands deep down into the waistband of Louis’ jeans, not caring who was looking as he cupped his bum gently. He was tipsy, not drunk, just enough to feel all hazy and happy. “It’s going to be our year, I can feel it.”

“Love you, Harry. Kiss me…” Harry quickly complied, bringing their lips together, kissing softly for a few moments. Their lips moved with familiar ease against each others, tasting and touching tongues slightly, aware of their surroundings, not wanting it to get too deep. They pulled away, allowing themselves to be pulled into hugs with their parents and other family members, the fireworks in London showing on the television in the background.

Louis migrated back to Harry, sitting on his lap as the family watched the TV before they all parted to go to bed. They all waved Anne, Gemma and Robin off from the front door, and made their way to their rooms, Harry and Louis in the guest bedroom, in a small but cosy double bed. They stripped to their boxers and climbed in together, forgoing their usual nighttime routine as they were so tired. They were facing each other, and kissed lazily under the covers, limbs tangled underneath. Louis could feel Harry getting hard against his thigh and smirked to himself, parting his lips and letting Harry’s tongue slide inside.

“Mmm, Lou, we can’t… not here…”

“Why not?” Louis moaned, rutting against Harry’s leg now too, aroused by the fact Harry was aroused. “Come on, love…”

“Louis, I’m not fucking you in your parents house, babe, sorry…”

“I don’t want you to fuck me,” Louis whispered back, trailing a hand down Harry’s torso, pinching at his nipple. “Want you to make love to me…”

Harry moaned low in his throat and pulled Louis impossibly closer, shoving a leg between Louis’ own, their bodies now touching from head to toe. “You know I can’t say no to you…” he said, pulling Louis’ body harshly against his own.

“I know,” Louis smirked, allowing Harry to roll of top of him. “Now show me how much you love me...”

“Never be able to show you enough,” Harry whispered back, reaching a hand down and touching Louis where he wanted it most of it all… the best way to welcome in the New Year if you asked Louis.

"Oh... fuck... Harry... oh my god-YES..."


	47. Drunk in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry invite Zayn, Liam and Niall around for a lad's night, and look forward to their trip to LA in a few weeks time.

Louis ambled up and down the rows of the supermarket, a too-full trolley in front of him as he perused the items already inside, wondering what more he could possibly add to it to make the night even better than it was promising to be. It had been too long since he and Harry had had the boys around for a night together, and despite the fact Zayn had suggested going out, everyone opted for movies and beer at Harry and Louis’ place, much to Louis’ delight. As much as he loved going out and having fun, the fear of being papped always Harry slightly reserved, and he far preferred his husband to relax in the comfort of his own home.

He wandered down the snacks aisle, throwing several bags of peanuts and tubes of Pringles into the trolley as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He slid it out and smiled at the display, a big grinning picture of Harry and Jacob smiling back at him. They had two days left before Jacob and Louis were back at school, so Harry was making the most of it, having taken Jacob to the local trampoline park with a friend from school, promising Louis he wouldn’t do anything reckless like even attempt a trampoline with his still-healing leg.

“Hello gorgeous,” he said, answering the call with a soppy grin, even though he knew Harry couldn’t possibly see him. “Everything okay?”

“ _ All good, Lou,”  _ Harry said, the din of screaming children filling the silence between his words. “ _ Just wanted to let you know my team called, and all the flights and hotels for LA are all ready for us. We’re actually going, Lou, you and me are going to the Grammy’s. Never thought I’d ever get this opportunity!” _

Louis couldn’t deny the excitement bubbling inside at the thought of his trip with Harry to the Grammy’s actually finally coming to fruition. Ever since they’d learnt of their nomination for Home, it had felt like something too distant to be excited about, but now it was just three weeks away, and actually happening. He grinned to himself, grabbing a few bags of crisps while he was at it, throwing them in the trolley and heading off, remembering Jacob needed a tube of toothpaste. God, his life was so glamourous.

“That’s great, babe, I assume the best hotel and flight and stuff as always?”

“ _ Definitely, they’ve spoilt us this time. I mean, I’ll miss Jake, of course I will but I’m excited to have a bit of us time. Feels like so long since we’ve really been alone for more than a night, you know?” _

“I do,” Louis assured him, wanting Harry to know those thoughts were perfectly normal, no matter how much you loved your child. “I can’t wait either. Never properly been to LA like this, around awards season before. I mean, I know we went with you but I didn't get to do everything I wanted because I was trailing around with Jake.”

“ _ Well, I’ll show you everything you want to see,”  _ Harry promised. “ _ I’ll drop Jake off at Mum’s on the way home, I grabbed his stuff before we left, is that alright? Oh hang on, he wants to- Hey dad!”  _ A panting and slightly breathless Jacob screeched down the line, all too excited at the prospect of speaking to his dad.

“Hey love, having a good time? Wearing yourself out?”

“ _ Yeah, this place is awesome, me and Tristan are having an awesome time- oh, gotta go, Tristan wants me to try the big wall again, bye!” _ There was a bit of rustling as the phone was handed around, and finally, Harry came back on the line. “ _ Me again. So yeah, I’ll drop Tristan off, then take Jacob to Mum’s, and meet you at home?” _

_ “ _ Sounds good to me, sweetheart. I better get this shopping done, love you lots.”

“ _ I love you more, Lou,” _ Harry said softly, and Louis smiled, saying bye before hanging up. He grabbed a tube of Jacob’s favourite toothpaste and flung it into the trolley, along with a new tub of his hair gel, and a new tube of lube. For some reason, they were going through it rather fast, not that Louis was complaining at all. He noticed there was a new variety on sale, a tingling variety, and smirked as he grabbed one of those too, popping it in the trolley.

He paid and made the drive home, pleased to see he’d beaten Harry and made quick work of putting the shopping away, sticking the lube bottles on the side in the kitchen intending to take them upstairs with him. He grabbed the Chinese menu from the drawer where they lived and jotted down a few things for tonight, wanting to ask Zayn, Liam and Niall what they wanted before he phoned the order through. He set out the snacks on the table, and finally flopped down on the sofa, eagerly awaiting the arrival of his friends and husband.

*****

A few hours later, the doorbell rang as Harry climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist as he heard Louis holler up the stairs that he’d answer. He quickly dried his hair and slipped on a purple shirt covered in small white stars, black skinny jeans on his lower half. He pulled on a pair of socks and made his way downstairs, hearing Louis chatting to someone in the kitchen, so headed in that direction.

He smiled as he saw Niall and Liam sat at the table, Niall already making indents into the bowls of Pringles and nuts that Louis had set out earlier. Harry made his way over, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and kissing the back of neck, not caring about his affectionate display in front of his closest friends.

“Hello beautiful,” he mumbled into Louis’ neck, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne, possibly Harry’s favourite smell in the whole world. “I’m hungry.”

“Well, I didn't just put out this food for decoration, as Niall is so cleverly showing you,” Louis teased, turning his head to capture Harry’s lips in a quick kiss. “Hey, where’s your wedding ring?”

“Oh shit, took it off for the shower, let me go grab it,” Harry said, and ran off, returning a few moments later with his ring firmly in place.

“That’s better,” Louis said with a satisfied nod. “All mine again.”

“Always yours, ring or not,” Harry said back, making Niall pretend to vomit behind them, Liam laughing at his dramatics. “When’s Zayn coming? Do we wanna order the food, you know what he usually orders, Lou.”

“Yeah, can do,” Louis said, grabbing the paper he had jotted on earlier, passing it to Liam and Niall to add to, which they did quickly. Harry took it and went off, phoning their order through, including the additions for Zayn. He went back into the kitchen, grabbing a small handful of nuts before the doorbell rang, signifying Zayn’s arrival. He answered the door, and was pleased that all his friends were back together.

An hour later, they were sat eating Chinese, all of them well on their way to getting a bit drunk, the alcohol flowing freely between them. Niall stumbled over to grab a few napkins to wipe his fingers on, and clocked something on the counter, grabbing it and waving it in the air.

“Oi oi!” He called, Louis flushing deeply as he realised what it was, hurrying out of his seat to grab the offending items from Niall, who held them just out of Louis’ reach, much to his frustration. “Planning on some naughty fun, were ya Tommo? One bottle not enough for you two sex-mad lads?”

“Give them here, Nialler,” Louis shouted, reaching and finally grabbing the bottles of lube, chucking them in a drawer and out of sight. “Yes, I have a lot of sex with my husband, and no, I’m not ashamed of our sex life. If you were lucky enough to get his dick, then you would too.” He smirked at Niall’s reaction, sending Harry a filthy wink across the room.

“Too much information,” Zayn muttered, grabbing another pile of rice from the table. Harry just laughed, grabbing Louis as he walked past and pulled him into his lap and into a kiss a little too dirty to be appropriate in front of their friends.

“Who wants to play a game?” Liam piped up when they were all full, only a few scraps of Chinese food remaining on the table. They all nodded and stood up, Harry thinking he’d bother to clear it up later, and Niall took a few bowls of snacks as they headed into the lounge, drinks in hand. “Okay, any ideas? I was thinking Never Have I Ever..”

Harry groaned but Louis and Niall cheered, both fond of the game. “Yes, fucking knew I invited you for a reason,” Louis said, and Liam just rolled his eyes.

“Nothing to do with the fact I’m one of your best mates, then?” he said, grabbing another bottle of beer and quickly opening it with the bottle opener Harry had thoughtfully left on the table. “Since it was my idea, I’m going first.” Everyone nodded, and sat theirs drinks in front of them. Liam and Niall were leaning up against the sofa, Zayn was cross-legged on the carpet and Louis was between Harry’s legs, his back against Harry’s chest, and Harry’s hands resting on Louis’ waist. It was all very comfortable. “Right. Never have I ever… kissed a boy.”

Louis and Harry scoffed, throwing back a drink each and grinning as none of the other men did so. “You haven’t lived…” Louis muttered, tilting back and kissing Harry again, as if to prove a point. They all looked to Niall then who was next to Liam, and he cleared his throat, stretching out his moment in the limelight.

“Alright lads. Never have I ever… run around an arena naked ‘cause I lost a bet with one of the sound technicians two years ago.” Harry flushed as he leaned forwards and took another drink, sending Niall a glare, knowing things he hadn’t told Louis yet were probably about to come out.

“Oh, you are so telling me about that one later,” Louis mumbled, winking at Niall, who just nodded, knowing exactly what he was planning to divulge about his friend. “Z?”

“Thinking…” Zayn said, tapping a finger jokingly on his chin before his ah-hah moment struck. “Okay. Never have I ever… been caught having sex on my bed by my parents.”

Liam sipped his drink then much to everyone’s surprise, and so did Louis. Harry forced his face around, looking imploringly at Louis, wanting to know more. Louis just sighed, knowing he was going to divulge anyway.

“Was my first girlfriend, Lara. We… didn't exactly mean for it to happen, but we were 16 and we were horny, and didn't hear my mum come in… and yeah, caught me and my bare arse shagging her. She was not amused, it must be said.” Harry just laughed, weirdly pleased that it was a girl Louis had been caught with and not a boy, stupid really considering Louis had lived 26 years on this planet before he’d met Harry, and both of them knew the other wasn’t a virgin when they got together. Jealousy was a strange beast, sometimes.

“Okay, my turn,” Louis said with a wicked grin on his face. “Never have I ever… bought someone a dildo for Christmas.” Nobody moved so Louis scoffed again, turning around to look at Harry, eyebrows raised. “Excuse you Harold? How quickly you forget..”

“Well, if you want to be technical, Lou, I bought you a vibrator, not just a dildo…” Harry said, a bit unable to believe he was confessing to such a thing in front of anyone except Louis. “But okay.. You wanna play it that way.. Fine.” He sipped his drink, amused by the stunned expressions on their friends faces, clearly a bit shocked by Louis and Harry’s kinky admissions. “My turn. Never have I ever… filmed myself having sex with someone.”

Zayn drank then, a shy smile on his lips, and so did Niall, while the others remained seated. Louis turned around, mumbling something into Harry’s ear that made his cheeks flush a deep red, all of the boys around the semi-circle picking up on that. Liam clapped his hands, getting their attention as he started again.

“Okay, never have I ever...been arrested.” Zayn and Niall drank again, quickly filling the group in on their misdemeanours, causing much raucous laughter around the group at their behaviour from years gone by. Harry and Niall took another drink when Niall asked if anyone had been skinny dipping before, and they all drank when Zayn asked if any of them had ever been spotted buying something naughty by someone they shouldn’t.

“Jacob!” Harry and Louis both shouted, laughing as they threw back their drinks, everyone more than drunk by now. “Oh god, Lou, I’ll never forget him asking me what lube was for, and if it was for you or me…”

“Nearly as bad as the time he grabbed a box of condoms in Boots and slapped them down on the counter as I paid for my deodorant, saying  _ Oh Dad, I saw you buy these a lot so I thought I’d be helpful and get you some more! _ ” Everyone was nearly crying at that point, at the innocence of the boy they all loved so much.

“I’m so fucking beat,” Niall yawned then, while Liam drained the last of his drink. “Last two questions, then I need to sleep. Crashing here, right, lads?”

“Sure,” Louis said with a shrug, aware they had more than enough space for everyone. “Li and Z, you share in the spare, and Niall, you can have the sofa or Jake’s room?” Niall pointed upstairs as he ate a few more Pringles, telling Louis he’d be happy upstairs. “Okay, I think it’s my go so. Never have I ever… had sex without a condom.” The other lads groaned at yet another sexual question from Louis, but he was a little surprised to see only he and Harry drank, kissing each other after. “What? We’re married, no need to worry about me getting pregnant, Li, don’t worry.”

“More’s the pity…” Harry mumbled, and Louis arched an eyebrow at him, a little surprised by that, storing the remark away to tackle later. “Right, last one. The pressure’s on… Never have I ever… fallen in love and married my soulmate and lived happily ever after.”

“You fucking soppy bastard,” Niall shouted as Liam and Zayn rolled their eyes. Louis just shuffled around, sitting in Harry’s lap now and pulled him down into a dirty kiss. They rested their foreheads together as they pulled apart, whispering words to each other before Harry stood up, Louis still wrapped around his body, his strong arms supporting Louis’ weight with ease. 

“We’re going to bed. Sorry in advance for anything you might hear, but to be honest, we’re gonna go have sex now and we’re gonna enjoy it. Leave the mess. See ya lads tomorrow.” With a cheer from Niall, Harry stumbled from the room, Louis sucking at his neck, leaving love bites Harry was sure would take at least a week to fade away. He groaned as he pushed their door open, pressing Louis into the mattress as he parted his lips, Louis quickly sliding his tongue inside.

“Fucking hell, Lou… in front of all of our friends.. making me admit to buying you sex toys and fucking you bare...”

“Oh you can talk,” Louis mumbled, kissing Harry again, hands roaming below the waistband of Harry’s jeans by now. “You and your soppy shit… married my soulmate. Such a twat, you really- oh god…”

He groaned out, cut off by the palm of Harry’s hand pressing firmly onto the growing bulge in his own trousers, shutting his eyes and letting the waves of pleasure flow throughout his body. “Well, I’m your twat… you married me,” Harry muttered, licking a line across Louis’ collarbones as he pulled down the neck of his t-shirt, pushing his crotch against Louis’ to keep him still.  “You wanna fuck me or want me to fuck you?”

“You in me,” Louis moaned, and Harry nodded, quickly pulling Louis’ top up and over his head before yanking his own off and throwing it somewhere to the side of the room. He leaned back down and kissed Louis hard, their bare chests pressing together making both men moan, Louis’ hands already coming down to fiddle with the stiff button of Harry’s jeans. “Fuck’s sake Haz, these jeans are like Fort bloody Knox… oh you do it.”

Harry pulled back with a smirk and pushed the button open, shoving the jeans down his thighs, and Louis groaned when he realised Harry wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath. He reached forward and grazed the line of Harry’s cock with his finger, laughing lightly as it twitched under his touch, Harry biting back a moan, yanking Louis’ bottoms off as well. 

“God, I want you, you’re so fucking fit… I’ve got the fittest husband ever,” Harry rasped, watching as Louis crawled up the bed and opened the bedside drawer, grabbing one of the nearly-empty bottles of lube before throwing it at Harry, who caught it easily. Louis lay back, spreading his legs and beckoning Harry closer. 

Harry surprised him by bending down and sucking the tip of Louis’ cock into his mouth, running his tongue all around, clamping Louis down on his hips. 

“Babe… they’re all gonna hear,” Harry warned when he popped off, licking the precome from his lips, Louis shuddering at the sight. “You want them to hear how good I make you feel?”

“Yeah…” Louis breathed out, reaching out and guiding Harry’s lips back to his cock, gasping as Harry pressed two fingers in at the same time. It was a stretch but not uncommon for Louis to take two, and he muffled his face into the pillow, aware of the noises now pouring from him. “Shit… look so fucking good like that, taking my cock… more fingers babe…”

Harry pressed a third in, sucking harder, aware Louis could see his cheekbones like this. He really did love Louis’ cock in his mouth… the weight and taste of him, and suddenly wished they did this more. Too often, they went straight to penetrative sex, but he thought some time it might be nice to tease Louis and just do everything but have sex. They had a hotel room all to themselves soon, after all. 

“Fuck me Haz, want you,” Louis whined, clenching down around Harry’s fingers now and although he was prepared, he still gasped as Harry pushed deep inside, his body easily accommodating Harry’s size, as if they were made for each other. “Oh god… love you so much- always want you with me like this-“

Louis had his eyes closed now, and Harry was on his knees between Louis’ thighs, looking down at how gorgeous his husband looked like this. His left hand was splayed out on his tummy, his wedding band on display and a reminder to Harry that this man was all his forever, and just how lucky he was to be the one who saw Louis all sexy and vulnerable like this. He slid his hands up Louis’ bare thighs, watching a trail of goosebumps follow, and he wrapped his fingers around his cock, quickly sliding his thumb over the head and beads of precome dripping from it. 

“Look at me, Lou… wanna see your face, baby,” Harry begged, and sighed when Louis opened his eyes, locking their eyes. “You know I love you more than anything, right? Wouldn’t be happy if it weren’t for you, my beautiful husband-“

“Too bloody soppy but I love you too, shit- feel so good, harder please-“ Louis licked his lips, and Harry hurried to lean over, trapping Louis’ cock between their bodies as he continued to move his hips at a quick pace, licking deeply into Louis’ mouth at the same time. “Gonna have some fun in that hotel room in LA, right?”

“Damn right,” Harry panted out, feeling tired. He pulled out and ignored the whine coming from Louis, scrambling to sit back against the headboard. “Ride me, Lou-“

“Shit, yeah, okay,” Louis said, straddling his husband’s legs and he reached behind him, holding Harry’s cock as he slowly sank down on it. “Oh god- so big, fill me up so good Haz-“ he used his strong thighs to start lifting himself up before slamming back down, both men moaning loudly now, not caring that they’d clearly be heard by their friends just down the hallway. “Fuck- love you and your big cock-“

“Ride me-“ was all Harry could reply, and neither man could speak as they put their everything into Louis fucking down on Harry, and Harry ended up planting his feet on the bed, meeting Louis’ thrusts, waves of pleasure buzzing through each man. “Come for me, Lou-“ Harry mumbled, stroking Louis until he came with a loud cry, coating both of their stomachs in his come. 

“Fill me up, Haz-“ Louis said, pace getting frenetic for a minute until he felt Harry’s warmth fill him from inside, Harry kissing him passionately as he came, mumbling Louis’ name as their tongues met, his hands digging into Louis’ waist, sure to leave fingertip sized bruises on his skin tomorrow. Louis didn’t pull up, instead he stayed sat on Harry’s lap as they lazily kissed, hands laced at their sides. 

Louis loved that they could have the most dirty and frantic sex in the world but afterwards, all they wanted was each other, the comfort and affection they could only ever find in each other. He pulled away and smiled, running a hand down Harry’s slightly stubbly cheek. Harry nuzzled into it, kissing Louis’ palm for a second, smiling softly at his husband. 

“I love you, Lou,” Harry whispered, as if it were just for the two of them. “Can’t wait to get out to LA with you, have some husband time. Don’t want you to go back to work next week. I don't wanna work either. Want to say here in bed with my husband all day.”

“I know, love, but you’ve got lots to do what with the TV show and stuff, and writing more music for me.” Harry chuckled at that, pecking Louis’ lips. He tapped his hip, and Louis carefully lifted onto his knees, letting Harry pull out, sighing as a trickle of come followed down his leg. “Seriously, though. I can’t believe it’s time for you to start writing the next album.”

“Will you help me?” Harry asked suddenly, and Louis felt a little shocked. “You shouldn’t be surprised I’ve asked you, babe. You’re really talented, Home is up for a Grammy for a reason you know. God. Imagine if we won a Grammy. Jeez…”

“I know. But even if we don’t, that song is so special babe. You know that, right?”

“Course. And when we get back… can we properly start looking into having a baby? The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I just want to fill this house up with our babies, Louis.”

“I know, love, me too,” Louis said, leaning in for another kiss. “Let’s get in the shower and clean up, then we can sleep and get our boy.”

“Oh, if you insist,” Harry said with a big smile, getting to his feet and scooping his naked up into his arms. “Let me get you all clean…”

*****

“Haz, did you sort out our suits for next week?” Louis called through the house, finally putting away the washing up he’d done when he’d gotten in from work while Harry had taken Jacob to the park for a run around. Harry was making an effort to take Jacob to the park at least once a week now and the more they were there, the more they were pushing the bad memories to the back of their minds and replacing them with new fun ones. Louis loved seeing them return home, faces red and sweaty, big smiles on their faces as they chatted about the fun they'd had together. It made him feel happy inside to see his boys finally getting back to their old selves, slowly moving past the trauma of the past few months.

“Yeah, love. The Gucci people are coming to the hotel in the afternoon before the show to make sure they fit but we can get them over earlier if you want? Up to you, just let me know so I can sort it out with my team.”

“Nah, that’ll be fine. I’ve packed most of the stuff for the trip since I’ll be at work and we won’t need most of our stuff until then. You still okay to go to Mum’s and look after the kiddos with this weekend with me?” They'd almost forgotten about Jay and Dan's Christmas present trip until Jay had text Louis the other day, Louis relieved that it wasn't while they were away in LA. Harry was looking forward to it a lot more than Louis was, but Louis felt sure that might change once Harry was fully immersed in life with the two sets of Tomlinson twins on their own for more than just a few hours.

“Course, babe. Looking forward to it, actually.” Louis scoffed to himself and walked back into the living room. Harry was sat on the sofa and tilted his head back, Louis dropping his own head to quickly kiss Harry’s lips. “So. Kids this weekend, then next Thursday we’re off to LA. How is this my life?!” 

“You married me, my dear,” Harry said with a smirk, Louis tutting as he stood up, shaking his head and walking away with a slight smile on his face. “Where you going?”

“Shower,” Louis called as he walked up the stairs. 

“Oh. Wait for me!” Harry called but was quickly stopped by a little voice as he reached the top of the stairs. 

“Dad! Can you help me with my spellings please?” 

Louis stuck his topless torso out from behind the door and winked at Harry who just groaned, slapping his hand on the wall. 

“Of course, Jake. Be there in a tick, love,” he called, chasing Louis into the bedroom. “Come here, Tomlinson, you can’t run around half naked and not expect me to want to kiss you…”

“Dad! Put Daddy down and help me!” Jacob shrieked again down the hallway just as Harry reached his husband, and Louis laughed, pushing Harry back towards the door but before Harry could fully leave, he shoved his boxers down and stalked towards the bathroom, entirely naked, making Harry groaning loudly. 

“You wait…” Harry muttered as he headed towards Jacob’s room, plastering a smile on his face as he walked through the door. “Right, let's get on with this homework then, darling…”

“Yay! Thanks Dad…”


	48. Family Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis have fun looking after Louis’ brood of siblings before they say goodbye to Jacob and head off to LA and the Grammy Awards.

“Why is he whining? Make him stop,” Louis pleaded as they made the short drive over to Jay and Dan’s, ready for the weekend looking after the children. The past week had passed by fairly uneventfully, with Louis at work and Harry having several meetings with his team about expectations regarding their time at the Grammy’s, and his new television show commitment. Now he’d done his bit, as well as a short radio interview with Roman on Capital Breakfast that Jacob had insisted on being part of, Harry was looking forward to getting back to a sense of normality and being with his family again. It felt like they’d not seen each other much this week thanks to one thing and another, so time with Jacob and Louis felt more precious.

“He doesn’t like the car, you know that, love,” Harry said, resting a hand on Louis’ thigh. “Jake, just talk to him love, let him know he’s okay.” He watched in the rearview mirror as they stopped at a traffic light to see Jacob bend down, pushing his fingers through the bars of Percy’s crate, stroking the puppy between his ears, whispering something softly to him. Harry’s heart melted, and he couldn’t help but think about how good Jacob was going to be as a big brother. Yet again, he had babies on the brain, and he loved it.

“I know, but that whine goes right through my head. He’s still not sleeping, and he woke me up twice last night,” Louis moaned, running his hand through his hair, turning the radio up slightly, hoping it would drown out the puppies whines.

“Well, I’m the one who got up,” Harry retorted, cocking an eyebrow at Louis. “He seems to sleep on my lap but it’s not the answer really. I’m sure he’ll get used to being at home babe, it’s only been just under a month.”

“Good practise for you,” Louis mumbled, winking at Harry. “I’m sure you’ll be the one getting up in the night, and you’re probably gonna love it, let’s be honest.”

“True,” Harry said through a big grin. He swung the car into the driveway, taking Dan’s usual spot as he’d parked the car out the front of the house, ready to leave. Jacob leapt from the car when the engine had stopped, and Louis grabbed their bags, heading in to find his mum while Harry got Percy out, carrying the little puppy in in his arms, save putting him on the floor. The puppy nuzzled against him, and Harry bent his head to kiss the puppy’s soft head.

“You bought Percy?! Oh you’re just the best brother ever!” Daisy said in excitement after Harry had shut the front door and finally put the puppy on the floor. Percy sniffed around nervously for a few minutes before he trotted off, Daisy hot on his heels, trying to tempt him into following her. Harry smiled as he kicked his shoes off, leaving them by the front door, suddenly being struck by how at home he felt in Jay’s house, surrounded by Louis’ family pictures and his siblings. He hoped Louis felt this way whenever he went to Anne’s, as it was a nice feeling to belong so fully.

“Hello, love,” Jay said as she swept down the stairs, looking very glamorous in navy linen trousers and a pale pink top and cardigan. Her hair was swept up, and Harry smiled at how much like Louis she looked when she smiled like that, a familiar sparkle in her eyes like his own husband’s. He hugged her as she got closer. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and Lou coming over here and taking the kids for us. Dan and I don’t get much time alone, so this weekend is going to be such a treat.”

“I know the feeling, and we’ve only got one child, so I can’t imagine how much you need a break,” Harry said, letting her go and taking the bag from her hand, setting it down by the front door. “But honestly, Jay, it’s our pleasure. You’re forever looking after Jake for us, so it’s about time we did something for you.”

“Only one child at the moment,” she winked, shrugging on her coat. “But yes, we do need a break. If you need anything though, or something happens-”

“Jay, don’t worry. Lou and I are more than happy to do this, and nothing will go wrong. Just go and enjoy your time with your husband, and let us worry about the children.” Jay smiled gratefully at Harry and hugged him again. “Now go and find your son, I need to check Percy hasn’t wreaked any havoc yet.” They both laughed and went through to the sitting room, Harry pleased to see Daisy and Phoebe on the floor with Percy playing with his chew rope, and Louis was nowhere to be seen.

Harry and Jay made their way to the kitchen, and smiled at the sight of Louis sat at the table between the other set of twins, listening as they talked him through their comic book that they’d bought at the shop earlier with Dan. Jay smiled softly over to Harry, and he nodded, understand exactly what she meant… that this could be the Louis Harry could see all the time when they had children together.

“Lou, we’re going to go,” Jay said, and Louis got up, much to the twin’s displeasure. They started to whine so Harry quickly sat in Louis’ seat, faking as much excitement as Louis had for the colourful pictures in front of him, not really understanding what he was looking at if he was honest. Jacob had outgrown these shows years ago, so he felt a bit out of the loop.

“Shall we go and wave bye to Mummy and Daddy?” Harry asked, and the twins nodded, getting down from their seats and Ernest ran off, following Louis and Jay to the front door. Doris hung back a bit, and tugged on the hem of Harry’s shirt, her thumb nervously in her mouth. He looked down and she held her arms up, and who was Harry to resist that? He scooped her up into his arms, setting her on his hip and he felt entirely at home when the little girl laid her head on his shoulder.

Jay and Dan hugged each of their children, Doris not letting go of Harry to wave goodbye to her parents, and the entire Tomlinson-Deakin clan stood at the door, waving as Jay and Dan drove off, tooting the horn as they turned the corner and out of sight.

“Okay, who wants some dinner?” Harry asked, and all of the kids cheered, running off to do whatever it is toddlers and eleven year old girls did. Harry knew there was a chance Fizzy would be coming home later on, and he stepped into the kitchen, rifling through the fridge, pulling out enough ingredients to make spaghetti bolognese for the gathered group.

“Need a hand, sweetheart?” Louis asked, sneaking up behind Harry and shoving his hands down into Harry’s back pockets, squeezing his bum cheekily. Harry shook his head and turned around, quickly kissing Louis’ lips. Doris was hovering around, and Harry picked her up, sitting her bottom on the counter next to where he worked.

“I’m okay, thanks babe. You can go play with the kids, and I’ll shout you all when dinner’s ready. I’ve got my special helper, haven’t I, Dotty?” Doris smiled and nodded, playing with the hem of her little dress and Louis leaned in, kissing his little sister’s forehead.

“You gonna help Hazzy, love?”

“Me help Hazzy,” she repeated back, passing Harry the can opener for the tin of tomatoes he had in his hand. “I be a good girl.”

“Of course you are, sweetheart,” Louis said, pecking Harry’s lips again. “Thanks for cooking Haz. I’ll go and keep an eye on the kids and Pers, like I say, let me know if you need me.”

“Always need you, Lou,” Harry said, grinning as Louis walked away, purposely swinging his hips, Harry choosing to ignore it thanks to the presence of Doris. “Okay then my little chef, ready to help me make some spaghetti?”

“Pasghetti!” she cried, and Harry nodded and laughed, bustling about with his little sous chef, making food for the group.

An hour later, they were sat around the table as Harry put platefuls of food in front of each of the children, everyone looking excited to tuck in. Louis followed Doris as she carefully carried Harry’s plate over, putting it in his space before he pulled back, grabbing his phone from the side. “Okay then Tomlinson’s, give me a smile and a thumbs up!”

Everyone grinned at him, and Louis snapped a couple of quick pictures before Harry swapped places with him, making sure Louis was in one of the photos too before he put it down, returning to his space next to Doris and Ernest, making sure their dinners were cut up so they could eat it themselves.

Everybody tucked in eagerly, the sounds of chatter and cutlery clinking on plates filling up the kitchen for a few minutes. It was delicious, and the fact was backed up by the empty plates around the table as they all finished, Doris and Ernest having little rings of tomato sauce around their mouths, which Harry proclaimed the cutest thing he’d ever seen until Louis had pouted, Harry correcting himself.

“Sorry love, the joint top cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Better?”

“Much,” Louis said, clearing the plates and kissing Harry quickly as he did so. “Delicious dinner, thank you babe. Got myself a good ‘un, didn't I, kids?”

“We loved that, thank you Haz!” Daisy said, running around the table and hugging Harry tightly.

“Oi, get off my Dad!” Jacob said somewhat territorially, and got up, sitting on Harry’s lap while Louis grabbed the tub of ice-cream from the freezer, and Phoebe quietly came over, helping him bring the variety of sauces and sprinkles back to the table before returning and dishing out the puddings to everyone.

Louis slid in the chair next to Harry, free now since Ernest had taken his own next to Daisy, and he pressed his thigh up against Harry’s under the table. Harry jostled Jacob around on his other leg until the three of them were sitting together, their own little family amongst the bigger family unit surrounding them.

“I love you,” Louis mumbled as he pushed a spoon of ice-cream between Harry’s lips. “Thank you for this, for taking care of my family like this.”

“ _Our_ family,” Harry reminded him with a smile, feeding Louis. Both men jumped as the front door closed, Fizzy appearing a few minutes later in the doorway of the kitchen, hovering nervously as if unsure she could join the group. “Hey, sweetheart,” Harry said, getting to his feet and hugging her quickly, leaving Jacob on his chair next to Louis. “I saved you some dinner, in case you got home in time.”

“Thanks, Harry,” she said quietly, but Harry couldn’t help but notice how her smile didn't quite meet her eyes. She sat down and started eating quietly, the other younger children more than making up for her lack of noise. Louis shooed then away, promising Doris and Ernest that he and Harry would get them in the bath once they’d washed up, and Louis started getting Percy’s dinner ready now that everyone else had eaten.

“Hey, just, um, give me and Fiz a few minutes, yeah?” Harry asked quietly, and Louis frowned, looking in concern at his sullen sister, nodding quietly. Harry could hear him calling to Daisy and Phoebe to settle down and watch the film as he sat himself on a free chair next to Fiz, wanting to talk to her for a minute.

“You okay, love?” He asked, putting a gentle hand on her forearm. “You might prefer to talk to Lou and I won’t be upset if you do but… I’m just worried. You didn’t look happy when you came in and you’re not yourself. Just wanted you to know I’m here if you need to talk.” He went to stand up but was stopped by Felicite saying his name.

“Harry-“

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you. For being there. For asking and actually caring about what’s wrong.” She stood and wrapped her arms around Harry’s waist, leaning her head on his chest. It was the first time she’d hugged him like this, spontaneously, and Harry was surprised by how much he wanted to comfort the young girl. Louis appeared in the doorway but stilled when he saw Harry embracing his sister, smiling softly, winking before he snuck away again.

“I do care, so does Lou,” Harry said, letting Felicite pull away. “And I meant it when I said I’m here for you if you want to talk, so is Lou if you’d prefer to talk to your brother.”

“Just… boy trouble,” Felicite said with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Ah, been there, done that,” Harry said with a laugh, making Felicite smile fully for the first time since she’d been home. “Men, myself and your brothers and step-dad excluded of course, are twats. If you find a good one like I did, hold on tight, don’t let him go. If not, set him free because you deserve so much more. You’re an amazing young woman, Felicite. Don’t forget that, and don’t ever let any man make you think you’re anything less than worth it.” He bent down and shoved a few plates into the dishwasher but as he stood up, Felicite hugged him fiercely again.

She kissed his cheek before she put her plate on the side and threw Harry a smile before she left the room, Harry hearing her chatting away to her younger sisters who were now playing with Percy again. Harry knew he had to give Percy his evening walk around the garden but finished stacking the dishwasher before he headed in, Doris running straight into his arms.

“Bath now, Hazzy?” She asked, and Harry could never say no that little grin. He nodded and Louis grabbed Ernest who was now running around with his socks on his hands, and ran with the screaming boy upstairs. Ernest undressed quickly and started running around his room naked while Harry helped Doris with the buttons on her dress as Louis ran the bath.

She went willingly when Louis called her, letting her big brother lift her in but Ernest was more of a pickle, Harry resorting to throwing the boy over his shoulder and marching him in, kissing Louis’ head as he lowered the boy into the water, smiling as he coated his face in bubbles immediately.

He joined Louis on the floor as the twins chatted amongst themselves, knowing the other kids were fine with Fizzy, and that Percy would be ready for bed soon enough, still a young pup really.

“Is Fiz okay?” Louis asked, a little worried about his sister. She tended to bottle things up until they became too much, and then either broke down or exploded, so he’d been pleased to see her talking so easily to his husband. “Did she talk to you?”

“Sort of,” Harry replied, popping the toy fish that had been flung out of the water back into the bath, mopping up the spill with the corner of the towel. “Boy trouble. I didn’t press her but I told her we were here if she needed us.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, getting closer and kissing Harry again, ignoring the giggles from the twins as  their lips met. Any kind of kissing and cuddling was funny to Louis’ youngest siblings at the moment. “Thanks for taking the time to talk to her. It means a lot to me you’re so good with my siblings, babe.”

“Well, I think of her as my sister now, remember? When I married you, I became part of your family and if my sister is sad then I want to help her. Hey, be careful you two!” He called as he saw Ernest trying to push Doris’ face in the water. “Right, that behaviour means you get first hair wash Mr Ernest.”

He grabbed the bottle of shampoo and started lathering up the little boy’s blonde curls as Louis talked to Doris, helping her get washed with her special Little Mermaid shower gel. They took turns with the shower attachment, rinsing off both children before they lifted them out and rubbed them dry with warm fluffy towels.

There was a sudden cry from downstairs and Louis rolled his eyes, lifting Doris into Harry’s free arm as he ran downstairs to put out whatever fire was happening with the children there. Harry just grinned and headed down the hallway, walking into the twins room and set them on the floor, both kids stripping off their towels as they sat on the floor naked, playing with their train set.

Harry got together their nappies for nighttime and their vests and pyjamas, coaxing Doris over, knowing she’d be easier than her brother to get into some clothes. He knew Jay had been trying to potty train her youngest so decided to brave that before putting their nappies on.

“Do you need a wee, love?” He asked, and Doris nodded shyly. Harry opened the door and walked with her down the corridor, pulling her little purple step over so she could sit on the loo and left her to it, helping her wash her hands after and praising her for using the toilet like a big girl.

Just as he was drying off her hands, Ernest came marching in clutching his boy bits, stating if Doris could wee in the toilet so could he. Harry laughed and encouraged him onto the step, watching out of the corner of his eye as the little boy did indeed use the toilet, and high-fived him when his hands were clean. After that, he managed to get them both dry and dressed and ready for bed, and when Louis walked in, Harry was laid out on Doris’ bed, the little girl on his chest and Ernest curled into his side, almost fast asleep.

“Love,” Louis whispered as he leant over, picking up Ernest and laying him in his bed, kissing his cheek before he tucked him in, putting his teddy in next to him. “Hazza, let's leave them to sleep, okay? Come down with me and the kids.” Harry blinked blearily and nodded, carefully letting Doris down onto the mattress next to him before he grabbed Louis’ hand, letting his husband pull him out of the bed.

They crept out of the room, neither of them wanting to wake up the sleeping toddlers and held hands as they went downstairs. Phoebe and Daisy were watching High School Musical on TV and Fizzy was on her phone, curled up in the corner of the sofa. Harry flopped down and nodded when Louis made a sign at him asking if he wanted a cup of tea, ruffling Fizzy’s hair as he walked by.

Soon enough, both twins had joined Harry on his sofa and were curled up with him, singing softly under their breath as they watched. Harry reached out gratefully for his tea and sipped it, seeing Louis talking to his sister quietly over the other side of the room, hoping the young woman would open up to his big brother, who Harry always found to be the best listener and giver of advice.

Eventually, the film ended and Harry shooed the twins upstairs, hearing them move about the upper floor, in and out of the bathroom and their room until all went quiet. Louis went to move but Harry shook his head, not wanting to interrupt their talk. Louis didn’t get much time alone with his younger sisters, especially now he was married and had a family of his own.

“I’ll say goodnight to them, you stay there babe.” Louis nodded and smiled, thanking Harry as he walked upstairs, rapping his knuckles a few time on the wood before he stepped inside. “Night night girls. Sleep well, and tomorrow, we’ll go and walk Percy all together, yeah?”

“Yes please Harry!” Daisy said, a big smile on her face. “He is the cutest dog in the whole wide world, Jake is so lucky that you and Loulou got him a dog for Christmas.” She pouted, and Harry laughed gently at how much she looked like his husband when she did that face. “I want a dog.”

“Love, I think your mum has enough going on with all you kids, don’t you? You’re welcome to ours at any time and see Percy, we can pick you up as well if we need to.”

“You’re the best,” Phoebe said, and both girls came and hugged Harry, kissing his cheeks before they climbed into their own beds. “Love you Dais, love you Harry.”

“Love you Phoebs, love you Harry.”

“Love you too, girls. Sleep well and have sweet dreams.” He flicked off the light and went to kiss each of their heads before he closed the door behind him, heading back downstairs again, Louis now hugging a tearful looking Felicite. Harry quietly crept through to the kitchen, leaving them to it and made three mugs of tea, setting them down on the coffee table in front of them all as he watched TV, trying to not show he had caught Fizzy crying.

Soon after, she drained her tea and went to bed, hugging Louis and kissing the top of Harry’s head before she left the room, mumbling goodnight to the pair of them. Louis came and climbed into Harry’s lap after that, sighing and resting his head on Harry’s shoulder, letting himself be hugged and comforted. Harry looped his arms around Louis’ slim waist, holding on tightly, waiting until he was ready to speak, half watching the TV show in front of him.

“She’s had her heart broken by some wanker,” Louis said eventually, rolling his eyes. “He cheated on her. She’s scared he’s given her something if he’s slept around so I’ve promised to take her to sexual health clinic next week after work. You okay to get Jake and do something with him while I’m with Fiz?”

“Yeah, of course love,” Harry said, nodding and kissing Louis’ temple. “You’re a great brother, you know? That took a lot for her to talk to you about that, and to ask you to go with her. She trusts and loves you, Lou. I’m proud of you, babe.”

“I, um, sort of… promised her I’d get tested too? So she didn't feel bad about it?” Louis said quietly, and Harry nodded, not at all bothered by the idea. “I mean, I got tested before we stopped using condoms so I know it’ll come back clean, but I just wanted to tell you so you don’t think anything unny has been going on, that I’d cheated on you or something-”

“Lou, really? I wouldn’t think that, I promise but I appreciate you being honest about it. If it makes her feel better, then go for it. I’m tired though, baby, want to go to bed?” Louis nodded and Harry smiled, standing up with Louis still in his arms, arms supporting underneath his butt. Louis leaned in and kissed Harry softly, right there in the middle of his parents sitting room, and something about it all felt right. “Oh shit, I’ve got to take Percy round the garden. You go up and get into bed, and I’ll be there in a sec,” Harry said, regretfully letting Louis to the floor, and he couldn’t resist slapping his bum as he walked by.

Harry woke up a reluctant Percy and hooked on his little lead, flicking the garden lights on with the switch on the wall next to the door, doing a few laps while Percy did his business, keen on getting back into the warmth and in bed with his husband as soon as possible. He came in and made sure Percy was all cosy in his bed in the kitchen, closing the stairgate behind him and then trudged upstairs, creeping into the spare bedroom, seeing Louis was already half asleep. He pulled all his clothes off before yanking on an old t-shirt of Louis’ in case one of the kids needed him in the night.

He just about had the energy to roll over and kiss Louis before rolling back over again, letting Louis spoon him from behind. He hadn’t realised quite how exhausting a houseful of children could be, but in his own way, he was too excited about creating just that with Louis. As much as he loved his little family, the thought of more mini Harry and Louis’ running around filled him with such joy and happiness, and those thoughts were the only ones that entered his dreams that night.

*****

The following day passed by in a blur. Louis woke up to find Harry already in the kitchen, cooking batch after batch of pancakes, the children seated at the table eagerly devouring everything that was put in front of them. The older twins were helping the younger ones cut up, and Jacob was entertaining Felicite, who looked slightly more cheerful that morning thanks to the hugs her nephew and siblings had bestowed on her as she helped Harry gather everything to make breakfast.

They all went to the cinema next, Harry treating everyone to the so-called ‘posh seats’ in the building to sit and watch a Saturday morning run of Despicable Me, a sure fire favourite for kids of any age. Louis ended up with a lapful of Doris, and Harry with Ernest on one leg after a while, but neither minded, smiling at each other with their faces lit by the action on the big screen. They also had lunch out, getting lots of compliments on the excellent behaviour of their children, and a few autograph hunters as well, kind enough to understand when Harry refused to take any pictures since he was with his family.

The children went to bed relatively early after a long walk with Percy who'd been kept at home all day, Harry and Louis holding hands as Phoebe and Daisy fought over who got to hold the lead next, Jacob being amazing and walking between Ernest and Doris, holding their hands and chatting to them as they walked. Louis couldn't have been prouder of his son, and he snapped a photo of the whole group stood in the woods together, grinning widely with rosy cheeks and chilly fingers. They went home for sandwiches and salad prepared by Louis, insistent that his husband have a rest thanks to the fact he’d cooked all meals so far. Harry insisted on putting the younger twins to bed, Louis walking in to see a particularly lively rendition of The Gruffalo. Harry and Louis went to bed after a quick make-out session on the sofa downstairs, and quietly made love between the sheets, whispered words and giggles muffled by kisses and touches of mouths, Harry moaning at Louis using a condom for once to keep things from getting less messy.

Finally, Sunday morning arrived, and Felicite insisted on Louis and Harry having a rest while she prepared toast for everyone for breakfast. They laid out together on the sofa, legs tangled up and Louis’ feet resting on top of Harry’s as they ate breakfast, all lounged about, Percy curled up by Jacob’s feet, his favourite place to be. Harry just looked out at his family, smiling at how perfect and at home he felt amongst everyone, and realised that if his career stopped tomorrow, as long as he had this, his family, his children and his husband, then really, he’d be okay.

“Thought I’d take Ernie and Dotty outside with the football for a bit before Mum and Dan get home, wear them out,” Louis said after he’d finished his toast, Phoebe and Daisy taking everyone’s plates into the kitchen. “Would you help the girls with their music homework? They said it’s a bit weird but if anyone knows music, it’s their popstar brother-in-law.” Harry chuckled and that and nodded. He spent the next hour doing a rather odd worksheet with both, but they felt proud as they put their finished sheets into their schoolbags ready for the next morning, thanking him with hugs and offers to do his hair for him that he politely declined, instead letting them entertain Percy for a while.

Jay and Dan arrived back mid-afternoon, shocked to see a friendly game of Monopoly Empire underway on the living room floor. Harry, Doris and Phoebe were one team, Louis, Ernest and Daisy on the other, and Percy was just running around, everyone trying not to let him eat any of the pieces. Jacob hadn’t wanted to play so was being the official referee/cheat watcher, as he’d whispered (not too quietly) to Harry that his Daddy was a sneaky cheat when it came to any form of Monopoly, Louis blushing red as he protested his innocence, Harry not believing a word.

“Wow, peace and quiet in the Tomlinson-Deakin house? We’ll have to get you two here more often,” Jay joked as Dan carried their bag up the stairs before rejoining the family, watching from the sofa. Louis’ team soon lost, and much to Jay’s shock, he just shrugged and shook Harry’s hand before muttering something into his husband’s ear that made Harry flush bright red, Jay deciding she didn't want or need to know anything more.

“So, are you guys dropping Jacob off Wednesday morning before school?” Dan asked, and Louis looked to Harry who nodded.

“Yeah, our flight is Wednesday afternoon, so if you don’t mind taking him to school for us, that would be great,” Harry said, and Jay nodded with a smile.

“It’s the least we can do after you’ve had our monkeys all weekend,” she said, and Louis laughed. He quietly called his mum into the kitchen as the other kids started to tidy the game away, and Harry kept everyone busy, knowing Louis was telling her about Felicite and what he’d spoken to her about. Fizzy didn't feel confident telling her mum, but Louis promised to do it for her, knowing Jay would want to know.

“You’re going to make such good parents to your big family, you know,” Jay whispered to Harry as she hugged him goodbye, profusely thanking her son and son-in-law for giving them a much needed weekend away from family life. They assured her it was their pleasure, that the kids had been brilliantly behaved and would be happy to do it again anytime.

They left after afternoon tea complete with posh shortbread Jay and Dan had bought back with them, Jacob trying to steal pieces for Percy until Harry realised what was going on, and warned him off. Something about falling asleep in their bed that night felt nice, and Louis kissed Harry gently before he fell asleep on top of his husband, sweaty torsos pressed together as the exhaustion of their busy weekend finally overcame them.

 

*****

Wednesday morning saw a hectic start in the Tomlinson house. Louis had packed all the clothes, but had somehow mislaid his own passport, despite swearing blind he’d left it on the side with Harry’s, along with their travel itinerary and plane tickets. Much swearing and shouting was heard as Louis stomped around, eventually finding it tucked under Jacob’s pillow, the little boy tearfully admitting that he thought if Louis lost his passport, he wouldn’t have to go.

When they arrived at Jay’s, both men promised several times to FaceTime Jacob every day, and that soon they’d go somewhere fun together, just the three of them.

“But I’m going to miss you so much,” Jacob sniffed, burying his little face into Louis’ neck.

“We’ll be back on Monday, darling, and we will both pick you up from school,” Louis reassured him, stroking his back as he watched Harry take their suitcases out to the car. He came back and picked up Jacob’s school bag and lunch box too, popping them next to his car seat before he hugged him too, lifting him out to the car, despite Jacob’s protests he was too old for that now.

Tears were shed at Jay’s as they said goodbye, but Louis couldn’t deny the existence of the butterflies in his tummy at the prospect of finally going out to LA, still unable to believe that he was going to the Grammy’s with his husband, and not only that, but he had the possibility of actually being a Grammy winner at the end of the night. Even if he didn't win, he and Harry would always be Grammy nominees, and no-one could ever take that away from them.

“Love you so much Dad and Daddy, I really hope you win but if not the song is still the bestest song ever,” Jacob said, and both men hugged him again for that comment. “Please be safe and phone me tonight? Nanny Jay says I can use the phone anytime for you.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” Harry reassured him. “And we’re gonna bring you back lots of cool presents too.”

“And Percy?”

“What about him?” Harry asked, grateful that his mum had agreed to take Percy in, and they’d dropped him off last night, along with what felt like enough food and toys for a small army of dogs, let alone one puppy.

“You have to buy him a present too, Dad!”

Louis sniggered as Harry nodded, promising to do just that before saying their final goodbye. Both Louis and Harry cried as they hugged and kissed Jacob several million times before they got into the car, taking a few deep breaths before Louis started the car, almost unwilling to drive away before Jay waved them off, knowing if they didn't leave now, it would be harder on all of them.

When they pulled out onto the motorway, Louis moving easily through the traffic, Harry turned to him, and Louis could feel his eyes boring into the side of his face. He grinned and glanced over, seeing the excitement written all over his husband’s face.

“This is happening, Lou. My husband and I are going to LA to the fucking Grammy’s. We’re doing this, baby!”

“Yeah, we fucking are!” Louis replied, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly in his own. “LA, the Tomlinson’s are on their way!”


	49. Adventure of a Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry enjoy some alone time in LA as the Grammy's rapidly approach...

“Wait there,” Harry said as their sleek black chauffeured sedan pulled up outside the foyer of the hotel he and Louis were going to be staying at for the duration of their time in LA. Louis nodded and peered out of the window, looking up at the opulent looking building in front of him, a bit staggered by the fact he was going to actually be staying here.

He jumped as his door open and there stood his husband, grinning at him. Louis blushed as Harry offered his hand, Louis taking it as he slid out of the car, and then they laced their fingers together as their suitcases were put onto the carpeted floor in front of them. A hotel employee appeared in front of them and whisked their bags away as Harry headed indoors with Louis by his side.

They stood at the marble reception desk for a moment until a pretty young woman with dark hair scraped back into bun approached, a big smile on her face.

“Welcome gentlemen, how may I help you today?”

“We’d like to check in please. We have a reservation for one of your suites.”

The woman nodded and tapped at her keyboard with her bright red nails for a minute. “Certainly sir. And what name is your reservation under?”

“Louis and Harry Tomlinson,” Harry said with a smile to Louis, who just leaned his body further towards Harry, wrapping an arm around his waist as they waited. Her eyes had flashed with recognition at the names but she remained professional, sliding two black plastic key cards across table towards them.

“Okay Mr and Mr Tomlinson, here are your key cards. Your bags will be in your room waiting for you, and you have the Premier Penthouse suite. Please proceed to the elevators where you can use your key card to access the top floor. Thank you and we hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thanks a lot,” Harry said, taking Louis’ hand again as they headed off. He inserted his card into the reader and hit the Penthouse button, the lift quickly taking them up and opening into the site. It was incredibly opulent and Louis’ jaw dropped as they walked inside, still holding hands. “Okay, wow… my team have never booked me anything this nice before…” Harry muttered as they started looking around.

As they were told, their bags were against the wardrobes in their room, a huge white four poster bed in the middle, draped with fabric that hung from the wooden frame. Louis glanced at his watch and realised that he still had time to call home before Jacob had to go to bed.

“Hey love, mind if we quickly call Jake? It’s 7 there so we have time before Mum puts him to bed.”

“Of course, I’d love to talk to him,” Harry said, watching as Louis grabbed his phone and connected to the hotels wifi, dialling Jays phone. Clearly Jacob had been waiting as he picked up the FaceTime call in just a couple of rings, waving enthusiastically at the camera and wearing one of his Harry tshirts as he often did when Harry was away from home.

“Hi Dads!” He called, Jay wandering around behind him before she pulled the little boy into her lap, smiling at her son and son in law as they appeared on the screen. “How is America? Is the hotel nice? Have you seen anyone famous ?”

“Apart from your dad, you mean?” Louis teased, winking back at Harry who was sat behind him on the bed, Louis leaned back against him. “We’ve just checked in, love. The room is so lovely though, we’ll take you some pictures and send them to Nanny. We are going to go out soon and get some food. How was school?”

“It was really good! We did a times table test and I got eighteen right out of twenty! Oh, and the man came to see me again and did some more reading with me.” Louis knew straight away Jacob meant another of the Educational Psychologists had been in as he and Harry had an appointment with the school for when they returned. “It was okay, but the book was a bit tricky.”

“As long as you did your best, love, that’s all we ask,” Harry said as Jacob nodded enthusiastically. “Right, we will let Nanny put you to bed because it’s getting late, and we need to find some food! We miss you, sweetheart-“

“Miss you too, so much, I even put my Harry top on, look!” Jacob pulled out the front of his tshirts, trying desperately to show it off but he only succeeded in distorting the image even more. “I love you so much both of you.”

“Love you too, darling,” Louis said while Harry blew kisses at the camera. “Be a good boy please and keep working hard at school. I promise we will send you some pictures later on tomorrow for when you’re home from school, okay?”

“Alright Daddy, I love you. And I love you too Dad! Bye!” Both men felt proud as Jacob blew a final few kisses to the pair of them, and were quietly relieved he hadn’t cried as that always made it harder on them and they then felt guilty for enjoying themselves. Louis threw his phone onto the bedside table and smiled, lunging back and hugging Harry tightly for a minute.

“This is amazing, babe, thank you so much,” Louis mumbled into Harry’s chest, letting his heavy eyes shut. “I’m so tired though, do we need to eat?”

“Yep, need to keep your energy levels up,” Harry said, bending to kiss Louis on the forehead. “I know you hate it, but we need to try and work to LA time as much as possible so we adjust, or we’re going to end up with horrible jetlag. So I think we go and find somewhere nice for lunch and have a walk around, then maybe come back here and have an early night in front of the TV and cuddle?”

“Sounds perfect,” Louis whispered, letting Harry tilt his chin back for a kiss, both men too exhausted for anything more than that today. Louis then let Harry pull him off the bed and towards the door, making sure he had his keycard before they strolled out, wallets in their back pockets. Harry had a headscarf in place, holding his longer than normal curls back from his eyes, and his Ray-Ban sunglasses on his face, whereas Louis had a baseball cap perched on his head, keeping the sun ray’s away from him that way.

They walked around the block near their hotel, choosing an average looking Italian restaurant to eat in. They sat side by side in the booth rather than opposite each other, much to the amusement of the waitress, and shared a pizza, neither man hungry enough for a whole one. Afterwards, they went for a walk, snapping a few touristy photos they were sure Jacob would love, pleased that Harry didn't seem to have been recognised just yet, allowing them to move around much more freely.

Eventually, the crowds began to thin and they walked quietly back to the hotel, only occasionally mumbling something to each other. Their bodies were screaming for bed, their internal clocks telling them it was the middle of the night now, and Louis nearly dozed off leaned up against Harry in the lift, whizzing up to the top floor. Harry took pity on his husband and scooped him into his arms, carrying him through to their bedroom before laying him gently on top of the covers.

“Want me to get you undressed, Lou?” He asked, and smiled softly when Louis nodded. He carefully pulled off his own clothes, standing there in his tight black boxers as he removed Louis’ clothes too, helping his husband get under the cover before switching the room’s air con unit on, plunging the room into much colder temperatures within minutes.

He frowned as he felt Louis start to wriggle around next to him, before his husband threw something out of the covers and across the room. “What on earth are you up to love?”

“Get naked,” Louis mumbled, burrowing his head back down into the pillow now, curling his now naked body agianst Harry’s. “I don’t wanna have sex or anything, I’m too tired but we can never sleep naked anymore cos of Jake, so let’s make the most of it.” Harry laughed and agreed, quickly pushing his own boxers down his legs and letting them drop to the floor. He sighed as he pressed his bare body against Louis’, aligned from head to toe.

He found Louis’ lips in the darkness and kissed him gently, parting them enough to slip his tongue inside, pressing softly against Louis’ own tongue. It was intimate and gentle, but enough for both men to feel the love between the both. Louis eventually pulled away, too tired to even put in the effort required for kissing and settled down against Harry’s chest, his breaths tickling the sparse hair’s on Harry’s skin.

“Love you, Harry,” he whispered, and Harry quickly returned the words, keen for Louis to catch them before he fell back to sleep.

“I love you more, Lou.”

*****

The next morning found a sweaty and very Harry wrapped up around Louis under their duvet, the air around them chilly thanks to the air conditioning unit pumping out cool air all night long. Harry moaned and reached over to his bedside table, quickly reading through a few texts from his Mum before he hit the button on the remote, slowing the air down and allowing the room to warm up somewhat so he could get out of bed without freezing to death.

Louis mumbled as Harry rolled him off, quickly padding through to the bathroom and using the toilet before he climbed back into bed, Louis wrapping himself around him again like a koala bear as Harry kissed his forehead, trying to wake his husband up a bit. As much as he loved laying naked with him in bed, he was aware it was their first full day in Los Angeles and he wanted to make the most of it.

“Lou… baby, come on, wakey wakey,” he mumbled, kissing Louis’ lips between each word. Louis stirred and moaning, burying his face deeper into Harry’s neck and he licked up the side of it, making Harry shudder. “I know, love, but we can go and enjoy today then come to bed straight after dinner and stay here til tomorrow lunchtime. I’ve got plans for us for today…”

At that, Louis cracked one eye open and looked at Harry, as if trying to work out if the plans were worth getting out of bed for. “Plans? Tell me more,” he insisted, shoving a leg between Harry’s thighs again, seeking out his warmth.

“Mmm hmm. Plans for me and my hubby to have fun together all day. I’ve found a nice place where we can go and have breakfast, then I’ve planned to take you on a typical tourist’s day in LA. I know it’s cheesy, but it’s not often we get to just be tourists. I know I’m probably gonna get recognised but hopefully we can go about as much of our day as we can without too much hassle.”

“God, I love you,” Louis mumbled again, yanking Harry’s hair as he pulled him down into a kiss. “Just a shame you can’t let us stay in bed a bit longer… I had plans too.”

“Well, you can save those plans for later,” Harry said with a wink, grinding his half-hard cock against Louis’ bare thigh for a moment. “I promise I will make it up to you later… just wanted to spoil you today sweetheart. You’ve been so amazing to me and Jake lately what with everything we’ve been through… now it’s my turn to look after you and spoil you like you deserve.”

“If you insist,” Louis said with a big grin, throwing back the duvet and eagerly eyeing his husband’s naked body. “All mine, right?”

“Yep, all yours, and if you’re lucky, I might even wash your hair in the shower,” Harry teased, getting to his feet and heading for the bathroom, hoping Louis would take the hint and follow him in. Luckily he did, and if they were a little later than planned in leaving for breakfast, well, Harry didn't mind one bit.

The restaurant Harry had booked for breakfast was beautiful. It was clearly somewhere used to famous clientele, and greeted Harry and Louis warmly, showing them to a table for two, a small bunch of sunflowers in the middle of the table. Louis looked up at his husband, so happy that Harry hadn’t gone all out in his look for today. His hair was soft and curly, hanging low around his ears, and his plain white t-shirt only highlighted the tattoos littered across his skin, and he had a calm, serene look on his face.

“You look so beautiful today,” Louis said softly, reaching across the table and taking Harry’s hand as a waiter appeared in a linen shirt and slacks, producing two menus from behind his back. They chatted for a moment about the different drinks on offer, Louis and Harry both deciding on orange juice and a cup of tea each, as well as asking for a bit longer to decide on the food. “Seriously, I love seeing you like this. Relaxed, chilled out. It’s been a tough few months, for all of us. I think we really needed this break.”

“We did,” Harry agreed, gently squeezing Louis’ hand. “I just hope you know how grateful I am to you for all your support, while I was in hospital, and everything after. I know it wasn’t easy for you but you were just amazing, and I love you so much, Louis, I don’t think I tell you often enough.”

Louis shook his head at that, smiling wryly at his blushing husband. “Hey, you do, I promise you that. And I vowed to look after you when we got married, remember? For better and worse? There was nowhere in the world I wanted to be other than by your side, and that hasn’t changed a bit. I’m proud of how strong you were to have gotten through that, and look at you now. No-one would ever look at you and think just a few months ago, it was touch and go as to whether you’d wake up from your coma or not-” He cut off, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat at the very real thought of losing Harry, and how desperate he had been. “Shit, sorry-”

“No, don’t apologise babe. I’d be the same if it had been you in a hospital bed. I’m just sorry you had to go through that alone. I mean, I know you had your mum and my mum, but you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

“You’re here now, you’re here forever and that’s what counts,” Louis said as the waiter placed a tray down in front of them, setting two tall glasses of orange juice and two delicate cups of tea in front of the men. “Have you chosen love?”

They ordered their respective breakfasts, talking easily until the food arrived, and then they realised how delicious each other’s meals looked, eating half before switching over, continuing to talk between mouthfuls. Louis got Harry to divulge exactly what their plans were for the day, and he was already excited. Jacob text since he’d just finished school so they took a selfie together, sending it to Jay and then Anne, telling the latter they hoped Percy was behaving himself and not causing too much bother.

Harry took care of the bill, telling Louis not to worry about paying for a single thing today, and then they left, holding hands as they headed off down the street. To anyone looking, they were just a happily married couple on holiday together, most people not looking twice at them, and Louis loved the anonymity of it all, enjoying it while it lasted.

 

They spent the day together, seeing the most famous parts of LA that Louis had visited a few years before with Jacob while Harry had been on promo, but since the little boy was younger and had no interest, he hadn’t had the time to spend in the places he really cared about. Harry, though, was insistent on taking hundreds of photos of Louis at the famous landmarks, making him pose up a storm, pestering people around to take photos of the two of them. It seemed he was determined to document every moment.

He took Louis into a few of the posh shops on Rodeo Drive, and insisted on splashing out on a couple of ludicrously priced shirts for his husband, telling him he looked too handsome not to wear them out, and already, Harry was making plans for those shirts. Whether or not the outside world would get to see them was another matter, but Harry kept those thoughts to himself for now. Lunch was just baguettes they bought from a sandwich shop, nothing fancy but it suited them down to the ground.

They laughed, they tripped each other up as they walked hand in hand down the famous streets of LA, and Harry even insisted on paying for a cab to take them all the way to the Hollywood sign, a much needed rest for their feet before they exited, snapping lots of photos of each other much to the amusement of the tourists around who recognised Harry.

“You two are so lovely, I hope you’ll always be so happy together,” one young woman told them after Harry agreed to a selfie, pulling her in close and grinning at her camera with his thumbs up next to her face. “Honestly, such a gorgeous couple.”

“Thanks, love,” Louis had said with a big grin, grabbing Harry’s cheeks and kissing him full on the lips, not caring who was watching. “I’m pretty lucky, got to be said.”

“Are you kidding?” Harry said, staring deep into Louis’ eyes then. “I’m the one who gets to wake up to this face for the rest of my life. I think I’m the lucky one.”

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cuter,” the woman sighed before she walked away with her group of friends, making Louis and Harry giggle to each other. They took a last few photos and clambered back into the taxi, sweaty and sticky from the hot Californian sun by now, and they kissed and cuddled all the way back to the hotel in the back of the taxi, ignoring when the taxi driver cranked up the volume of the stereo to drown out their noises.

Dinner was eaten in the hotel that night. They dressed up in smart trousers and shirts, and Harry made easy conversation with a few other faces that would be attending the Grammy’s with them between courses, proudly introducing Louis to anyone who would listen, holding his hand tightly. As they shared a desert, Louis’ foot started to wander up and down Harry’s calf under the table, hooking around his ankle as Harry talked through the plans for tomorrow - a shopping trip followed by a couple’s massage in the hotel’s spa. Louis shuddered at the thought.

“So you’re gonna be all naked and oily next to me, and I won’t be able to touch you?” Louis moaned, letting his foot snake up past Harry’s knee, pushing against his thigh now. Harry only hoped the long tablecloth was covering enough of what they were doing to preserve their modesty. “That doesn’t seem very fair.”

“And how do you propose I make it up to you?” Harry said in a husky voice, clearly affected by Louis’ actions and words by now, swallowing down the piece of rich chocolate cake Louis shoved between his lips. “Any ideas?”

“I have a few,” Louis began, raising an eyebrow across the table at Harry and licking his lips. “But in order to find out…”

“Yeah?” Harry breathed, feeling his body start to respond more rapidly.

“I need to get you upstairs.” Harry stilled at that, his eyes widening and he nodded quickly. He called over a waiter, instructing him to put the entire bill on his tab that he would settle later, and the man nodded before offering them anymore drinks. Harry shook his head vehemently, and adjusted himself under the table before he stood up, pulling Louis to his feet.

“Bed. Now.” He marched off, Louis’ hand in his and breathed deeply as they waited for the elevator. There was a ding and the metal door seamlessly slid open, and Harry all but pushed Louis inside, taking several attempts to push the keycard into the slot and hitting the button for their suite. As the doors closed, Harry shoved Louis backwards against the wall and pressed their mouths together, darting his tongue into Louis’ mouth, the kiss turning rapidly filthy. Louis was panting, pushing his crotch forward, desperate to find friction and when the lift finally opened into their suite, he didn't remove his lips from Harry’s. They stumbled out together, locked at their mouths and both men were moaning and palming at each other.

“Shit, want you so bad, need you in me,” Harry moaned, fingers grabbing at Louis’ now hard cock underneath the fabric of his trousers.

“Want it here?” Louis rasped out, and Harry just nodded, looking at Louis with blown pupils. “Wait here then.” Harry just stood and watched as Louis walked away, pulling his shirt from his body as he disappeared into the doorway of their bedroom only to reappear a minute later, shirtless and clutching a bottle of lube in one hand. “Strip.”

Harry nodded, feeling a bit shocked at the turn of events, and fumbled with the tiny buttons of his shirt, shrugging it off before kicking off his shoes and pulling off his socks, then fiddling with the belt of his trousers. Louis sighed and walked over, dropping the lube onto the floor as he worked open Harry’s trousers, pushing them and his boxers to the floor, instructing Harry to step out of them. Harry was bare now, and Louis still had his bottoms on, but Harry liked that, liked how Louis was looking at him.

“Gonna fuck you here..” Louis mumbled, grabbing Harry by the hips and pushing him towards the deep navy couch just a few steps away from them. “Always wanted to do this. Want you to bend over and let me open you up, then I’m gonna take you like this. That sound okay?”

“Fuck, yeah, please Lou…” Harry mumbled, head swimming already at the thought of Louis being this brazen with him. Admittedly, since the arrival of the puppy in their home, their sex life had taken a bit of a turn as Harry was up at night more often than not, and found himself craving sleep rather than sex, which he knew pissed Louis off somewhat. Now though, there were no distractions and he couldn’t wait to finally reconnect with his husband in this way, hopefully the first time of many out here in LA.

“Bend over then,” Louis said, pushing Harry down by his neck, taking a second to admire his husband all ready for him, exposed and bare, so trusting. Louis debated for a moment over what to do, and chose to silently fall to his knees behind Harry, grabbing at the meat of his thighs, kissing up the backs of them and over his cheeks. “Can I eat you out?”  he whispered, as if there was a possibility of someone else hearing them.”

“Holy shit-” was all Harry could reply, nodding dumbly as his hair fell into his eyes, bracing himself for the heaven that was Louis’ tongue on him and in him. “Fuck-  oh god- Lou…” Louis had just gone straight in, licking and kissing Harry’s rim deeply, and although this was something they indulged in a little more than in the past, it always felt new to Harry, like it was the first time he was ever being eaten out by his husband and he loved it. “More, Lou-”

“I’m trying,” Louis mumbled, licking around in small circles, tasting and teasing Harry, watching him struggle to keep himself upright, using his thighs to keep himself in position. “Taste so good baby… missed kissing you here..” He smirked as he poked the tip of his tongue inside Harry, his husband squirming even more, crying out in sheer pleasure just from Louis’ tongue. There was something about the rush of power this gave Louis, making Harry fall apart just from his mouth, and he yearned to do it again and again, vowing they would before they left for home.

As his tongue started circling again, Louis quietly lubed up a couple of fingers, teasing over Harry’s balls, cupping and playing with them gently before bringing up his fingers to Harry’s hole, sliding one in carefully alongside his tongue, Harry wailing loudly now, not holding back at all. “Louis- fucking hell, oh my god-” Harry’s mouth was obscene as Louis continued to finger him, sliding in another alongside his tongue, swatting Harry’s ass when he pushed back, forcing Louis’ tongue deeper inside. “I’m ready -please-”

“Please what?” Louis asked, twisting his fingers, brushing over where he knew Harry was desperate to be touched. “What do you want, baby?”

“Want you inside me… fuck me, Lou…” Harry craned his neck around and Louis was a little startled by how much of a mess Harry looked already. His cheeks were bright red, his pupils were blown and his hair was matted to his sweaty forehead, fingers gripping at the couch cushions as best he could. “Please-”

“Okay, I’ve got you,” Louis said, carefully getting to his feet, not before pressing a kiss to Harry’s cheeks as he went, fingertips trailing up and down the gorgeous curve of Harry’s spine. He lined himself up and pressed in quickly, Harry moaning as his body stretched around Louis’ hard length, his own cock digging in against the back of the sofa now. “Feel so good like this, want me to move?”

Harry didn't speak but just nodded, reaching behind him to grab one of Louis’ hands, setting it on his hip, Louis quickly following with the other. He dug in to the soft skin, caressing gently as he started to rock his hips, his cock gliding smoothly in and out of Harry’s body thanks to the plentiful prep he’d just done. Louis started off slowly, letting them both get used to the position but soon it was Harry who was begging for more.

“Please, Lou- harder, need it, need you-”

“Yeah, I’ve got you love, don’t worry,” Louis said, starting to thrust a bit harder by now. Harry was moaning, a hand underneath his body, clearly stroking his cock as Louis fucked into him, trying to make it as good for Harry as he could. He moved his hands up from his hips to his shoulders, keeping Harry bent over, and the way his hair was swaying as he fucked him did something for Louis, and he bent his head, licking at the back of Harry’s neck. “So good for me, look so good sweetheart, love fucking you, just love you so much-” Louis mumbled, not caring now wasn’t really the moment to be all emotional.

“Love you too,” Harry whispered as Louis thrust harder and harder, his orgasm getting ever closer. He could see their reflection in the window on the other side of the room, and seeing Harry bent over in front of him and the way Louis was just taking him was unbelievably hot. Louis kept his eyes locked on the image as he gripped Harry’s shoulders harshly, encouraging Harry’s dirty words to spill from his mouth as he fucked him with reckless abandon by now, selfishly chasing his own orgasm, knowing Harry was close himself from the way he was clenching around him. “Come in me, Lou-”

“Oh fuck, christ- shit, oh my god,” Louis mumbled as he started to come hard into Harry, not stopping the thrusts of his hips as his orgasm wracked through his body. He panted and kept Harry bent in half as he finished coming, aware from the motion of Harry’s arm he was wanking himself and carefully pulled out, spinning Harry around to face him. “On my face,” he mumbled, dropping to his knees, watching as Harry’s hand speedily moved up and down his shaft, groaning at the feel of Louis’ come dripping out of him, and soon enough, Louis’ face was striped with Harry’s release, teasing his tongue along his lips to taste him.

“Holy fuck,” Harry muttered, pushing a finger through a streak of come on Louis’ cheek, pushing it between Louis’ lips, letting him suck it off. He collapsed down onto the floor next to Louis and rested his head on his thigh, smiling up at him. “Shit, I really needed that babe. Wow-”

“You liked being fucked over a sofa, then?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded sleepily, his eyes already starting to flutter shut. “Babe, don’t sleep yet, we need a shower, we’re covered in come and lube-”

“Don’t care,” Harry whispered, kissing Louis’ thigh. Louis groaned and pushed Harry off, getting to his feet and cringing at the feel of drying come on his face. He held his hands out and told Harry to grab them, yanking his much taller husband to his feet and hauling him in the direction of the bathroom. He flicked the shower on, the room filling with warm steam and they stepped under the spray together, kissing and touching until their skin was wrinkled and both men were just craving sleep.

*****

The next morning, Harry splashed out as they were both exhausted and slightly sore so they decided to have breakfast in bed. They fed each other bits of fruit and toast under the covers, bare legs tangled up as they giggled, texting their mums, pleased to hear Jacob was okay. Louis promised Jay they would call again later on as their little boy was missing his dads, and both said they wanted to make sure they got him some presents today.

After the breakfast and several cups of teas, they got into the shower again, wanting to freshen up before hitting the shops. Louis laid out Harry’s clothes for him while he shaved, and Harry pouted when Louis threatened to shave, telling him he preferred him with a bit of scruff, and especially liked the feeling of it between his thighs. The thought made Louis blank out for a second but he nodded, deciding to keep his beard after all, persuading Harry into letting him trim it up just a little.

They dressed and sorted their hair before they headed into the lift together, strolling out into the reception area, being greeted with smiles by the staff. Just as they got into the cab that was taking them to a big shopping mall, Harry’s phone rang, and Louis sat quietly for the journey as Harry talked to his team, arranging for the Gucci people to come over 3 hours before the show started, and agreeing to attend an after party with Louis too. He hung up just as the cab arrived, and he paid the driver, running around to open Louis’ door for him.

They walked in, Harry filling Louis in on the plans he’d made as they wandered around. Louis spotted a little leaflet with a floor plan of the mall inside, and they sat on a bench for a few minutes, working out exactly where it is they wanted to go. The first place they stopped in was a tacky tourist shop, and grabbed loads of little things they knew Jacob would love, like LA fridge magnets, pencils, badges, t-shirts and even a few stuffed toys. Their son wasn’t spoilt, but they never liked to return empty handed from a trip without him.

Harry carried the large carrier bag as they moseyed their way through the mall, swinging into whichever shops took their fancy. They stopped outside a jewellery store and Harry took Louis in, much to his surprise.

“I’d really like to buy you something sweetheart, to remember this trip and for you to wear on Saturday.”

“I don’t wear jewellery, only my wedding ring,” Louis reminded him gently, not wanting to upset his husband. “It’s a lovely idea though. I love you.”

“Lou, I do know that, think I know my husband by now. I was, um, thinking about a watch? I know you’ve got one that you wear for work and stuff but I’d really like to buy a nice one? Please?”

Louis smiled as Harry looked somewhat nervous at his confession and he nodded, knowing it was pointless arguing. Harry took his hand and pulled him in the direction of the watch cabinet, a few of the assistants obviously realising who Harry was as they ambled over, keen to assist.

“Can we help you, sirs?” One young man asked, dressed smartly in a crisp black shirt and trousers, a name badge proclaiming BRAD on his chest.

“Yes, thank you,” Harry began, polite as always. “I’d like to buy my husband a watch. Something nice and classy, we have an event on Saturday. Do you have any suggestions?”

Brad looked at Louis for a moment and nodded, scurrying off as he rifled through a large bunch of keys hanging from his waistband. Harry crowded up behind Louis and wrapped his arms around him as they waited, pressing soft kisses into the back of his neck.

“Seriously, you don’t have to do this, Haz-“ Louis started but Harry spun him around in his arms, staring deep into his eyes for a moment.

“I know. But I want to. You never let me spoil you so please let me do this for you? You’re my husband and you deserve something special. I love you, Louis.” He stopped himself kissing Louis as Brad appeared again, a tray of three expensive looking watches in front of him. “Don’t even think about asking about the cost, it doesn’t matter,” Harry whispered for Louis’ ears only.

“Um, I like that one,” Louis said, pointing at a silver Omega watch, leather bracelets laying beside it. “Can I try that one, please?”

Brad nodded and held out the watch for Louis, who slipped it onto his wrist, fastening the clasp. “You can have the leather strap put on at any jewellers, they come with it,” he said, stepping away for a moment, giving Louis and Harry a modicum of privacy.

“I love it,” Louis said quietly, turning his wrist around, feeling the weight of it on his wrist. “I’d love this one please, babe.”

“You don’t want to try any others?” Harry asked, smiling when Louis shook his head, admiring the one on his wrist again. “Okay. We’ll take this please. I’ll come and settle up.” Louis handed the watch back over to Brad who passed it to a colleague to be boxed back up and put into one of the plush bags, handing it over to Louis who thanked them both quietly.

Harry finished and headed to the exit, a big smile on his face. As they left the shop, Louis stopped him and put his arms up around Harry’s neck as he kissed him deeply, not caring who saw. Harry was a breathless as he pulled away, licking his lips gently and staring at Louis, a smile on his face that lit up his eyes.

“Wow, if that’s what I get when I buy you something, I’ll do it more often,” he said through a smirk, and Louis stilled, clocking something over Harry’s shoulder. He reached down, taking Harry’s hand and walked away, a determined expression on his face. “Lou, what’s the hurry-”

“My turn to treat you,” he said, heading towards a famous shop front that had Harry stopping in his tracks. “Hey, don’t stop, come on. You know you want to go in as much as I do.”

“I do, Lou, but people might see…”

“So? We have a great sex life, Haz, and I’m not ashamed of that. Now I want to buy you something to say thank you that we can both enjoy.”

“Like what?” Harry mumbled, closing on Louis again, his heart racing at the thought of entering the shop.

“Something small and lacy that I can rip off you back in our room,” he mumbled, and Harry nodded, stumbling forwards and letting Louis guide him. He glanced over his shoulder as they walked through the doorway of Victoria’s Secret, and Louis just led the way, knowing exactly what it was he came here for...

 


	50. Happy Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis continue to enjoy their time together in LA. Louis feels nervous ahead of the Grammy's, and Harry tries to keep him calm before Louis has one last surprise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Harry and Louis manip in the photo booth is made by the amazing [Therese](http://twitter.com/littlesunlou) on Twitter, she does some amazing manips so check her out! Thank you for letting me use it :)
> 
> Thanks to Liz as always for talking this through with me!
> 
> Also... 50 chapters. I never thought this would become so huge, nearly 300k words as well now, so thank you to those of you who have been there from the beginning, and if you're just joining me, thank you for giving it a chance, I hope you enjoy, and continue to enjoy this!
> 
> Come and chat to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/oneolddirection) about it, or in the comments here, I love hearing your thoughts and suggestions!

Harry had been slightly giddy ever since Louis had all but hauled him around the Victoria’s Secret shop in the mall, the pair of them picking out several items, a few of them things that they hadn’t yet added to their personal collection, stored well out of reach from Jacob’s little hands at the very back of the top of Harry’s wardrobe. Louis had had to take charge, leading him around the rest of the mall as they picked some new clothes for themselves, ending up going back to the hotel early as they literally couldn’t carry anything more.

Harry had been trying to hide the rather large Victoria’s Secret bag but Louis had snatched it, proudly swinging it from his wrist, not giving a damn who saw him with such a thing. When a scandalised Harry had gasped to Louis that his mum might see the pictures, Louis just shrugged.

“I’m an adult and I have sex with my husband, Harry. I’m really sure my mum doesn’t give a flying shit what we get up to in our bedroom, and if she does, that’s her problem. If you’re that bothered and someone asks, I wear the shit in this bag, okay?”

“No,” Harry mumbled, shaking his head at that. “I… um, I’m not ashamed, just… feels strange that you don’t care about people knowing, you know?”

“I don’t care,” Louis said with a smile. “People have so much of you. They think they have a right to everything about you but they don’t. This is for us, and I don’t what speculation they talk about. We know the truth, and that’s what counts. We’re what’s real, love, not them and their theories. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too,” Harry had said, holding the door of the taxi open for Louis to slide into. He’d been quite touchy-feely the whole drive back, keeping contact with Louis’ body at all times while Louis had been texting his mum, hearing all about Jacob and what he’d been up to. He promised to call their son later, both of them missing him desperately even though it had only been a few days. As was always the way with parents, the idea of getting a break and being alone was fun, but reality always set in and they were missing their loud little boy running around and keeping them on their toes.

Louis practically pulled Harry out of the taxi when they finally arrived, grabbing the bags from the boot before they walked up the entranceway, Harry stumbling into the lift and leaning against the wall, his eyes darkening somehow as he kept his gaze locked on Louis. In fact, it made Louis feel a little squirmy, and he shuffled around in his spot, watching the LCD numbers tick up until they reached the penthouse, the silver metal doors sliding open silently. They walked in together, and Louis headed straight for the bedroom, dumping off their bags at the side of the room.

He pulled off the shirt he’d been wearing and kicked off his Vans before walking quietly through to the kitchen area and getting himself a big glass of water, pouring the same for Harry and setting it on the side. He drank half of it down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, watching as Harry just stood, staring out of the window.

“Want to grab a shower with me, Lou?” Harry called across the empty room, eyes widening when he turned around and saw Louis in the kitchen, topless with a drink in his hand. “Christ. Warn a guy before you go getting naked please.”

“Half naked,” Louis corrected, coming out from behind the worktop and taking Harry’s drink over to him, kissing his lips gently as he handed it over. “You are perpetually naked unless you can help it and I never get any warning, so fairs fair, right?”

“Suppose so,” Harry mumbled. “But you’re not as affected by my nakedness as I am by yours, so really, I do deserve a bit of warning.”

“Oh. So this is too much for you?” Louis said, making quick work of unthreading his belt and pushing his jeans down his legs, kicking them off to the side where they collided with the arm of the sofa before slumping onto the floor. He could Harry visibly swallow and then nod, smirking slightly with the power he knew he had over his husband. “Well, I may as well go the whole hog now,” he muttered, shoving his boxers down before walking off to the bathroom, swaying his hips, aware of Harry’s eyes on him for every step he made.

“Shitting hell,” Harry mumbled under his breath, quickly chasing after his naked husband. They shared a shower together, exchanging frantic blow jobs, both turned on from earlier on in the lingerie shop, and Harry shouted Louis’ name loudly when he came, quickly hardening when Louis proceeded to wash him all over before pulling him out, sitting him on the edge of the bed and drying his hair lovingly, kissing the back of his neck as he did so. Harry loved feeling taken of, and let Louis pull out a half sheer shirt and jeans for him to wear, and could just watch as Louis got himself dressed into one of Harry’s plaid shirts and his own jeans, Harry shivering at the sight of Louis in his clothes.

Louis suddenly remembered the couple’s massage Harry had booked for them both, and they quickly changed clothes into more comfortable shorts and t-shirts, holding hands as they strolled through the lobby and into the spa area, taking a seat after they checked in. two kind looking older ladies welcomed them in, telling the pair to strip to their boxers, and indicated the beds they were to lay down on, close enough that Harry could reach over and take Louis’ hand.

Louis had never experienced anything like this before, and just relaxed into the table, feeling Harry rhythmically stroke his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand, muttering to him about what they were going to be up to over the next few days, and his eyes fluttered shut, the woman’s hands on his back, and Harry’s soothing voice enough to lull him into a nice sleep.

The next thing he knew, he woke up and Harry was perched on the edge of Louis’ massage table, running his hands up and down Louis’ oily back. It felt heavenly, and part of Louis didn't want to move, wanted to stay here forever and let Harry’s hands work their magic. Harry cheekily started to slide them lower, sensing Louis was awake and Louis squeaked as Harry grabbed at the flesh of his cheeks.

“Oi, watch it,” Louis said, trying to turn over, Harry keeping him in place by pushing his hands up and grabbing at Louis’ slim hips.

“Mine, so I can touch when I want,” Harry said with a smile and Louis laughed, sinking back down on the bed. “You enjoy the massage, darling?”

“God, yeah. Never had one before, but that was heavenly,” Louis admitted, sighing as Harry’s hands came back up to his shoulders, stroking gently by now. “Your hands might just be better than hers though, I have to say.”

“I should hope so. We’ll have to try this at home sometime, get some massage oil and stuff, take care of each other a bit,” Harry said softly, leaning down to kiss between Louis’ shoulder blades. “I love you.”

“I love you too, and you always take good care of me,” Louis said, finally letting himself sit up, knowing if he didn't, he’d doze off again. “We have to shower again now, we’re all oily.” Harry just shrugged and slipped on one of the robes the hotel gave him, pulling his shorts up his legs before helping Louis into his. They walked barefoot back to the lifts and cuddled all the way up, Louis resting his head on Harry’s chest, lulled by the soft beating of his husband’s heart.

After another quick and non-sexual shower, they went downstairs and got in a cab, Louis directing them to a nearby restaurant where they shared two meals, sat together and ignoring the stares and points of tourists all around, no doubt recognising them. Harry seemed sort of out of it for the majority of the meal, Louis having to prod and remind him to keep eating, and instead of desert, Louis just paid the bill and they walked back to the hotel, both enjoying the cool evening and the chance to hold hands and walk together for a while. Jacob had called halfway back, and they’d shown him their surroundings, the little boy getting a bit upset because he missed his dads, so Louis quickly ended the call, knowing dragging it out would make Jacob worse.

Before they could get to the hotel, Harry grabbed Louis and yanked him down a side alley, pressing Louis against the brick wall, the hard surface stunning Louis slightly as he parted his lips, granting his husband entrance with his tongue.

“Shit, Haz- anyone could see, what you doing?” Louis panted as they kissed quickly for a minute, chests heaving against each other.

“Want my husband, that so wrong?” Harry mumbled before kissing Louis again, losing himself in the kiss. They only came apart when someone wolf-whistled at the pair, and they laughed, Harry pressing his forehead to Louis’, treasuring a moment of closeness for the pair. “Let’s get upstairs, want you Lou.”

“How?” Louis asked, pushing his hips forward, smirking when he realised how hard Harry was, grinding against him for a minute.

“I’ll come up with something,” Harry said with a wink, and reached down to take Louis’ hand, yanking him out of the alley and back down the pavement, the hotel coming into sight as they rounded the corner. They smiled at the reception staff as they waited for the lift, Harry shoving his hands deep into Louis’ jean pockets and pushed him in as the lift doors slid open, quickly spinning him and kissing him as they made their way upstairs. “Get your clothes off, Lou,” Harry said as the doors closed behind them.

Louis quickly pulled everything off, not caring he was naked but when he went to flick the lightswitch on, Harry shook his head. There were a few dim spotlights in the kitchen, enough to see where they were going and Harry just bit his lip, blatantly staring at his husband by now. Louis closed the gap, stopping and placing his feet between Harry’s, tilting his chin up for a kiss which Harry gave happily. They kissed deeply for a few minutes, Louis’ nimble fingers quickly undoing the buttons of Harry’s shirt, pushing it off his shoulders before rubbing his hands over his husband’s bare chest.

“Made your mind up yet?” He rasped out, voice laced with desire and Harry shivered, Louis feeling the goosebumps pop up over his skin. “How do you want it?”

“Wanna fuck you,” Harry said, and Louis quickly nodded, telling Harry that was fine. “The window. Wanna do you against the window, let everyone see you’re mine.”

“Oh god-” Louis shut his eyes for a moment, letting Harry’s words sink in. “Yeah, okay-” Harry shed the rest of his clothes, both in front of the window as they kissed again, hands around each other’s cocks, stroking themselves to full hardness. Louis happened to glance across and noticed their reflections, which was just obscene, quite frankly. He groaned and put his hands at the back of Harry’s head, pulling him further down, enjoying how his own back arched to accommodate Harry’s height.

“I know I opened you up in the shower, you need more?” Harry asked, and Louis shook his head, knowing his body well enough by now. Harry smiled and pulled away from the kiss, sucking his fingers into his mouth for a second before they made their way down, pressing against Louis’ entrance for a second before sinking inside, quietening Louis’ moans with his own lips, letting Louis rock himself back and forth for a few moments. “How do you-”

“Pick me up,” Louis said, rolling his hips slightly, taking Harry’s fingers further inside. There was nothing better than feeling full of Harry, and the idea that they were doing this in sort-of public made him shudder. Realistically, they were so high up that there was no chance of being seen, but still, it was thrilling, and the fact Harry wanted him like this was so much.

Harry put his hands under Louis’ thick thighs and tapped gently, telling Louis to jump up, which he did. Harry moved forwards until Louis’ back hit the clear glass, Louis gasping as his warm skin made contact with the cold glass surface behind him. They wriggled about until they were comfortable, Louis’ spread thighs resting on Harry’s strong forearms, entirely supporting his weight, but Louis more than trusted Harry to do this.

Harry had to just lower Louis slowly over his cock, Louis moving his hips slightly until he felt the head of it slip against his rim, moaning at the sensation. It was wet with precome and spit from Harry’s fingers, and although the lack of lube made Louis feel a bit nervous, he let Harry lower him down until Harry’s cock was slipping inside him, groaning loudly as he was filled up entirely, Harry soon bottoming out.

“Oh god- Harry, so good baby, make me feel so full-” Louis breathed out, knowing Harry needed to know he was okay and enjoying what he was being given. Harry grunted and widened his stance slightly, allowing him to start fucking into Louis’ body. His back was creating marks on the glass, Louis sure anyone looking hard enough would see his bare back and ass exposed for all to see, but he just pulled Harry into a kiss, letting his legs hang uselessly at his sides, Harry’s fingertips digging into his skin.

“My Louis, all mine, mine forever,” was all Harry continued to mutter, changing his words for ‘love you’ and ‘husband’ every now and then. Nothing made Harry hornier than reaffirming the fact he and Louis were forever, were married and Louis was his husband, and Louis loved hearing it just as much as Harry loved saying it. “Mine-”

“Yours,” Louis replied, biting down gently on Harry’s lip before they both looked down between their bodies, Louis gasping at the sight of Harry’s wide cock splitting him open, and it made Harry quicken his pace, relentless in his rhythm now. Neither man bothered to even try and be quiet, crying out each other’s names, Louis frequently slapping his hands back against the glass as Harry continued to pound into him, both panting heavily, chasing their own highs.

There was something about feeling weightless like this that really turned Louis on. He glanced to the side, watching his husband's biceps bulge under the strain of holding Louis up at this angle, and he whimpered when Harry did a particularly rough thrust, his cock sinking deep into Louis' body. Louis knew Harry couldn’t touch him thanks to his hands being occupied by holding him up against the window, but Harry shook his head as Louis snuck a hand down, tempted to touch his own cock and find some relief, cock bobbing full and heavy against their bodies. 

“No, from my cock,” Harry whispered and Louis nodded, sucking at Harry’s jaw, not caring his marks would be seen around the world if he wasn’t careful, there only being a day and a bit until the Grammy’s ceremony now. Harry hummed as Louis continued to lick and suck his way along, his thrusts becoming sloppy as his orgasm became more imminent. “Gonna fill you up, Lou- christ, feel so tight around me, love you-”

“Love you more, so much more,” Louis said, clenching his hands into Harry’s hair, tugging gently. Harry whined and pushed Louis harder into the window, eyes open and staring into Louis'.

"The world can see you being fucked, Lou," Harry mumbled, and that was it. Harry started to come harshly, and he murmured Louis’ name over and over as he filled him up, still slamming repeatedly into Louis’ open body.

“Come for me,” Harry groaned, changing the angle slightly until he knew his cock was brushing Louis’ prostate, driving his husband wild. “Come on Lou, come, baby-”

“Oh shit- Harry, fuck!” Louis cried as he started to come between them, covering both himself and Harry with it. Louis was visibly shaking, and Harry was struggling to hold him up now, both overcome with the force of their orgasms and exerting themselves like that, Harry in particular of course.

Louis wrapped his legs and arms back around Harry’s body tightly, giving Harry the chance to pull away from the window slightly. There was a strange sound as Louis’ back parted from the pane of glass, and together, pressed close, they stumbled in the direction of the sofa just behind them. Carefully, Harry placed Louis down on the cushion, admiring his husband before he leant over and kissed him, lying along the edge. Louis quickly tangled their legs together and kissed Harry, both exhausted by now.

“I love you, even if you are a secret exhibionist,” Louis said smugly, Harry chuckling into the kiss. “Love how strong you are, though. I don’t ever feel like I’m gonna fall when you hold me up. Big, strong arms.” Louis ducked his head to kiss both of Harry’s biceps, liking the slight taste of sweat on his skin.

“Gotta take care of precious things,” Harry said softly, slipping into sleep already. “Love protecting you and taking care of you. Just love you, really.”

“Not as much,” Louis said, kissing Harry softly, knowing his husband was all but asleep. “Never as much.”

*****

“Okay, wow. I really didn't expect this,” Louis said as he and Harry entered the Staples centre together. They had lanyards hanging from their necks, proclaiming them to be ‘Special Guests’, and it allowed them the freedom to wander anywhere they liked. They’d spent the morning in bed together before sharing a bath together, getting ready to head to the venue for the first time. Louis had panicked slightly in the cab over, telling Harry he wanted to wait at the hotel, that he didn't feel he belonged there but as usual, Harry had talked him down, telling him he’d be there the whole time, and now Louis was grateful for that, pleased he wasn’t missing out on this experience. “It’s so fucking huge. I can’t believe that tomorrow this place is going to be full.”

“Yep, and we’ll be at that table over there, with Adele, Bruno Mars and a few others,” Harry said with a big grin, laughing as Louis’ eyes just widened with each name he dropped. “Hey, you’re gonna be fine, and everyone is gonna love you. Just not as much as me, but that’s okay cos I’m your husband.”

“Yes, you are,” Louis said, leaning into a kiss. “Right, I know you have the interview bit in a while, but show me around babe.” Harry nodded and reached for Louis’ hand, introducing him to a few industry people he recognised as they walked around, proudly proclaiming Louis to be his husband to anyone who would listen, never letting go of Louis, not even for a minute.

“Harry Styles, good to see you!” A voice boomed from just to Louis’ left, and he smiled when Harry hurried forwards, allowing himself to be embraced by the man.

“James, you’re here!” Harry said, smiling at a face familiar even to Louis, Harry’s good friend and TV host James Corden.

“Congratulations on the nomination, mate, you must be thrilled.”

“Ah yes, but it’s all thanks to this one,” Harry said, nodding over to Louis. “James, I don’t think you’ve met my Lou. Louis, this is my friend James, James, this is my hubby Louis.” James reached forwards and shook Louis’ hand warmly.

“Nice to meet you at last, Harry’s always talking about you,” James said, making Harry roll his eyes and blush. “I guess you’re pretty excited about tomorrow?”

“Yeah, a bit terrified too,” Louis admitted, feeling Harry squeeze his hand before he pulled him close, Louis snuggling in to Harry’s side. “It’s a bit daunting to be here among people who really deserve it, you know? People I’ve been listening to for years, and now I’m here, just cos I married someone famous.”

“Um, no thank you,” Harry said, pulling away and looking at Louis with a stern face. “You wrote our song, Louis. Those were your words, I just did the music. It’s the lyrics that make that song and you know it. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone.”

“Sorry,” Louis mumbled, feeling a bit told off. “Just feels weird, you know? You’re used to this, love. I’m not, not yet, anyway.”

“Well, Harry’s right,” James said, nodding to someone who was calling him away. “You deserve this with Harry, so enjoy every minute of it. And I hope you both win. I’ve got to go and sort some stuff, but I’ll see you both tomorrow. Make sure you check out the photo booth, get some pics for your kid!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that, thanks mate!” Harry said, full of excitement as he dragged Louis back off to backstage, where a big photobooth was set up, much like one Louis had his passport photo taken in a few months ago. Harry smiled at a young couple who came out a few minutes later from behind the curtain, and dragged Louis inside, sitting on the metal stool and pulling Louis onto his lap. “Okay, cheesy pics, Lou, look at the camera.”

They posed up a storm, printing off a couple of reels of photos, some for themselves of them kissing and being coupley, and more jokey ones for Jacob and their house. Harry grinned as he pulled the strips from the machine, tucking them carefully into his bag that he’d bought, and chatted with Louis as he made his way to the area where they were doing pre-show interviews with some of the nominees that would be screened on TV throughout the night, and online too.

 

 

 

Louis had asked not to be a part of them, and Harry had understood, calmly telling his team that he’d handle the press part on his own until it came to the red carpet tomorrow, where of course Louis had no choice but to be out there with Harry.

Louis stood on the sidelines as a young male interviewer came over, introducing himself to the pair with a big smile as Tim, helping hook Harry up with a microphone before they sat down opposite each other. Louis remained nearby, listening in as Harry praised him for the lyrics of the song, talking about how it felt to finally be nominated for a Grammy, and what the pair had been up to since they arrived in LA. There was a few questions about Harry’s marriage and Jacob, as they’d expected, but Harry kept the answers fairly generic, the pair preferring to keep their private life as private as they could.

As Harry was being interviewed, Louis was busy texting his mum, Jacob home from school now with another award for his spelling. Louis was looking forward to the next appointment about his son at school when they got back, but appreciated the effort Jacob’s teacher was making to keep his spellings at a lower lever for now to boost his confidence, and his constant practicing and tests with Harry at home were paying off. Louis stepped away to send his son a quick video message, and promised to call later that night with Harry, sending Jacob a photo of Harry being interviewed.

 

 

Harry’s interview soon finished, and he stood up, shaking Tim’s hand and calling Louis over, the pair chatting off camera for a bit until Tim’s next interviewee arrived. Harry and Louis left, doing a final lap of the venue while they could and then headed out, Harry again waving bye to the organisers, saying he was looking forward to tomorrow. They took a few tourist type photos outside of the Staples Center and sent them to Jacob, Anne and Jay, laughing as they tumbled into a cab, heading back. They hadn’t done a lot today to be honest, but it was nice to just relax together.

The nearer it got to the ceremony, the more nervous Louis got, and Harry certainly sensed something was amiss when he climbed into bed beside a very tense Louis that night, wishing he could ease his worries somehow. He curled behind his husband, running his hand up and down Louis’ bare torso, and kissed the back of his shoulder gently. Louis sighed and relaxed slightly, but Harry could still feel tension inside his muscles.

“Baby, you need to relax. I don’t know what it is that’s wrong, but please relax. We’re supposed to be enjoying this, just you and me out here, having fun.”

“I am having fun, love, it’s just… I know what’s coming tomorrow and I’m fucking freaked out, Haz. I’ve never done a red carpet before. I’m scared I’m gonna trip up, or not know what to say, or embarrass you-”

“Can’t ever embarrass me,” Harry mumbled, kissing Louis’ back again. “I married the hottest guy on the planet, and I’m proud to hold your hand on the carpet tomorrow, and wear your ring for the world to see. I’m so fucking proud to have you by my side, Lou, and I love you, no matter what. I don’t care if you don’t speak in the interviews, just be by my side, please? This is our moment, okay?”

“I guess,” Louis said, yawning. “Sorry. Just can’t shut my mind down, all feeling a bit much now it’s so close.”

“I understand, I felt the same when I did my first one,” Harry confessed, Louis turning carefully in his arms so they were facing each other, bedside lamps lighting the room in a soft glow. “I was only a teenager, totally out of my depth really. It was scary, but once I’d done it, I realised it wasn’t as bad as I thought. And you’ve got me, remember. I’m gonna be there the whole time, holding your hand and telling the world who you are and how much I love you.” Louis laughed softly at that, and nuzzled into Harry’s body.

“Thanks baby,” Louis mumbled, throwing a leg over Harry’s, tangling them up again. “Sorry I’m being daft. I don’t even care if we win now, you know?”

“Me neither, I’m just grateful we’ve been nominated, and being here is amazing. I’ve really loved this time with you, just us for a while,” Harry said, letting Louis kiss his lips after. “I love Jake, god I do, but we haven’t had much alone time since we got married. Never did get on that honeymoon, did we?”

“We will,” Louis said with a smile. “Don’t worry about that. And when we get home…”

“Yeah, please,” Harry said, the pair sharing a secret smile. “I cannot tell you how excited I am to get going with it all, to make it real, you know?”

“I do,” Louis said. “I’m excited too. But for now, I’m still petrified and I need to sleep. Thank you again, Haz. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Harry said, punctuating each word with a kiss. “Sweet dreams, darling.”

And despite his fears, it didn't take Louis long to slip into sleep, safe in the knowledge he had Harry every step of the way, no matter what.

 

 

*****

“Okay, I’m happy with the outfits, Mr Styles, are you?” Matt, the Gucci fashion director said, appraising both Louis and Harry who were dressed and stood in front of him, smiling at how handsome each other looked. “You both look very smart, and the suits fit brilliantly.”

“Yeah, they’re great, thank you so much,” Harry said, reaching to shake the man’s hand. “You happy, Lou?”

“Yeah, I’m in a fucking Gucci suit, how can I not be happy?” Louis said, making everyone in the room laugh. Carefully, Louis and Harry were helped from their suits, watching as the items were hung on hangers before being placed into their protective coverings and hung in the wardrobe. They slipped on their t-shirts and joggers again, going around and shaking the hands of the Gucci team, thanking them for their help and promising to ensure the suits would be left at the hotel tomorrow so someone could pick them up again. As the team left, Louis leapt into Harry’s arms, kissing him deeply for a minute, kicking the door shut with his foot.

“How the fuck is this my life?” he shouted, making Harry giggle. “I’m going to the bloody Grammy’s in a Gucci suit that costs more than everything else I own put together. Fucking hell, I can’t believe this sometimes.”

“Well, you’d better believe it,” Harry said, not putting Louis down, instead walking through to their bedroom. “We have a few hours left, wonder what we could do…”

“I have a few ideas,” Louis said with a smirk, running off to the kitchen. “I’m fucking starving, fancy some snacks and a beer?”

“Oh, go on then,” Harry said, running after Louis and launching himself onto one of the bar stools, watching as Louis shook out some peanuts and pretzels into two bowls, and the pair headed for the sofa together, flicking on E News! And watching the excitement for the Grammy’s build up. They both sat shocked as their faces came on, flashing up a few pictures of them from their shopping trip the other day as they discussed the pair, their song and the fact Louis was finally being seen in public with Harry at an event.

“See? They’ve all wanted to meet you for so long,” Harry said, kissing the top of Louis’ head from where he was laid against him. “About time I get to show off my gorgeous husband.” Louis just smiled, shoving in a handful of peanuts again and watching, listening as more of the nominated songs flashed on the screen. “You want to have a bath or something before the show? We have about two hours before we need to get ready”

“Yeah, okay,” Louis said, letting Harry slide out from underneath him, watching as he walked to the bathroom, listening as the sound of running water filled the room. He stayed splayed out on the sofa before he remembered something he’d bought along for tonight, hurrying quietly to the bedroom and setting it on the bedside table before he stripped off, leaving his clothes in a puddle on the floor.

Harry was already in the bath by the time Louis got in there and he slid in in front of him, pressing his back against Harry’s front, sighing in pleasure as Harry’s arms snaked around his waist, holding him tight. They both closed their eyes and relaxed in the room, Harry grabbing his iPhone and starting a playlist of love songs, losing themselves in the moment for a while. They took it in turns washing each others hair, relishing on not being burst in on by Jacob, or the front doorbell ringing.

Louis could feel Harry starting to harden behind him so took the opportunity to get out of the bath, wrapping a fluffy towel around his waist, laughing as Harry pouted at the loss of his husband in his lap. “Oh, stop pouting,” Louis said, standing at the sink, preparing to shave.

“Please don’t,” Harry asked again. “Just trim it, I like you with a beard. Makes you look hot and older than me.”

“I am hot and older than you,” Louis replied, deadpan. “But okay, since you asked so nicely.” He put the razor down and handed it to Harry, along with the shaving foam, watching as his husband shaved his slight scruff off his face, leaving him baby smooth as usual. “Gorgeous.” He yanked the plug out and laughed, tossing Harry a towel as he clambered, limbs long and gangly out of the bath. “I’ve got a present for you in the bedroom.”

With that, he sauntered off and sat down on the edge of the bed, still in his towel, waiting for Harry who soon appeared. He glanced over to the navy blue box and nodded, telling Harry to pick it up, the pair soon sitting cross-legged opposite each on the bed, the box sat between them.

“Am I going to like his, Lou?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow, knowing what Louis’ gifts were usually like.

“Well, I hope so,” Louis answered honestly. “I know you haven’t used one before, but I just thought it might be fun? You can say no, though, of course you can.”

“Right,” Harry said, reaching and picking up the box. Slowly, he pulled off the lid and smirked as he peered inside, putting his hand in and soon retracting it, a soft blue silicone butt plug between his fingers. “A butt plug. For you or me?”

“I thought you?” Louis said with a grin. “I mean, you like the dildos and stuff, and this is just kind of the same. Except it stays inside, obviously. I’d really like it if you wore it all night, then you’ll be ready for me after the show.”

“Jesus, Lou,” Harry said, turning the item over his hands, looking at it curiously. He knew Louis owned a few plugs himself thanks to the box, but they hadn’t actually tried one together just yet. The thought of wearing something secret for the pair throughout the ceremony turned him on, and he found himself nodding. “You gonna help me though, right? I don’t, um, don’t know what I’m doing?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re gonna feel it all night though, babe. It won’t be obvious from your trousers, but you’re seriously going to know it’s there the whole time.”

“I like that,” Harry said quietly, blushing at the admission. “Put it in me, then.” Louis nodded, and fished their bottle of lube out of the bedside table drawer, coating his fingers. Harry stood up and let his towel fall to the floor, quickly getting to his hands and knees on the bed, all semblance of embarrassment lost long ago. Louis leaned forwards and kissed Harry’s butt cheek quickly before he rubbed a finger around his entrance, sliding the tip of his index finger in. “Oh god-”

“Be good for me, love. Stay still,” Louis said, pushing his finger in deeper for a second before pulling it out and repeating the motion. They’d had sex a few times that morning, Harry bottoming both times so he was already a bit loose, and Louis knew it wouldn’t take long for him to be ready. “Doing so well, gonna let you feel full in a minute, baby.”

“Yes, please Lou,” Harry begged, pushing his hips back for a moment, Louis trying to hold him in place with his free hand. “Ready, please-”

“Okay,” Louis said, reaching for the plug as he pulled his fingers out. He coated the plug in lube, pleased he’d picked the smallest size for Harry’s first time, especially since it was going to be a very public outing. “Now, if you don’t like it, I’ll take it out. And if you need to go to the loo and take it out tonight, I get it. I won’t be upset or anything. The fact you’re willing to try is enough for me.”

“Wanted to try one of yours for a while,” Harry admitted, gasping as Louis nudged the pointed tip of the toy against his rim, breathing deeply to relax his muscles a bit, knowing the first bit and the flared edge was going to burn slightly. “Go on then…”

Louis nodded and pushed the toy forwards, twisting it slightly to help it slide inside, watching as Harry’s body sucked it in, finally settling in place between his cheeks. “Fucking hell, you look good all plugged up. Wish I’d come in you first, but maybe next time, huh?” Harry just nodded, his pupils already blown as he pushed his curls back from his face, trying to stand up. He winced slightly as the plug pulled at his rim, but he walked about a bit, getting used to the sensation.

“Feels good, I like it,” Harry decided, heading to their drawers and pulling out a couple of pairs of boxers, sliding a pair up and over his thighs. He gasped as the plug shifted inside him again, and gingerly walked back over to Louis, handing him the boxers. “I’m gonna be so obvious though, I know it.”

“I hope so,” Louis said, reaching behind Harry and pushing the plug slightly, making Harry wriggle again. “I’m going to have so much fun with this. Was gonna make you wear some of your new knickers as well, but I think this is enough for tonight. I'll save those for afterwards.” He winked at Harry again, feeling turned on at the thought of Harry wearing some of the lacy things they'd picked out together in the shop the other day.

“You’re evil,” Harry said, heading back to the wardrobe and fetching down their suit hangers, opening the zip of one to check whose suit was inside, passing it to Louis. Gucci had somehow captured both of their styles perfectly, Harry in a black floral number, and Louis in a more sporty looking suit with red trim that suited him. Harry slid the trousers of his suit up, checking in the mirror from several angles that you couldn’t see any sign of the plug under his suit. Luckily, there seemed to be none.

When they were dressed and ready, they stood in front of the big wall mirror together, holding hands.

“We scrub up nicely, don’t we?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded, turning to kiss Louis proudly.

“You ready?” Harry asked, and Louis took in a deep breath, nodding slightly.

“As I’ll ever be.”

*****

“It’s so loud, how do you know where to look?” Louis asked, wide eyed as they stepped out of the limo they were picked up in, Harry clutching his hand to let Louis know he was safe and that he was there by his side. “Oh god, Haz…”

“I’m here, just smile and stay close to me,” Harry said, smiling at a bank of photographers, keeping his eyes open despite the flashes. He didn't drop Louis’ hand at all, ignoring the paps shouting at them to kiss, to turn around, to switch positions, knowing Louis needed him to take charge. “You’re doing so well, babe.”

“So are you,” Louis muttered, reaching his hand down to press against Harry’s bum, feeling his husband tense at the plug moving slightly. “Gonna give them what they want, then?”

Harry turned and grinned at his husband, nodding. They faced each other and Harry brought his hands up to Louis’ cheeks, pulling him into a kiss, deafening screams and camera flashes exploding around them, lighting the pair up.

“Okay, interviews,” Harry said, a bit breathless after their kiss, his heart racing at a million miles an hour in his chest. “Let’s see Julia first, she’s always nice.” Louis nodded and let Harry guide him.

“Harry, hello!” The young  woman said as Harry leaned in to hug her, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “And you must be Louis, so lovely to meet you.” Louis nodded shyly and took her hand, shaking it. “So, you two are up for a songwriting Grammy for your song Home, which I believe you released the day of your wedding?”

“Yeah, it was our little acknowledgement of what we did, since the wedding was a secret,” Harry said with a smile, still holding Louis’ hand. “We loved the song the moment we wrote it, so it felt right to release it on our wedding day.”

“Well, congratulations for that, and for the nomination.” She continued to ask them a few generic questions, and while Louis chose not to speak, instead just nodding along to Harry’s answers and smiling, he was grateful to get the first one out of the way. Harry picked and chose different interviewers as they made their way down the red carpet, Louis sighing in relief as they finally got into the venue, being shown to their seats by an usher.

 

 

 

Harry held out Louis’ chair for him as he sat down, the other guests around the table cooing at the pair of them. Harry scooted his chair closer to Louis’, still holding on to his hand as they made quiet conversation with the others around them. Louis was clearly still nervous, so Harry tapped his leg.

“You’re nervous but I’m the one with a plug shoved up his ass,” he murmured, making a smile cross Louis’ face for the first time in a while. “Just think how ready I’ll be for you later.” He wriggled about, Louis not missing how his pupils dilated slightly at the feel of it.

“Love knowing you’ve got that in,” Louis admitted, smirking slightly. “But seriously. If, um, if the weirdest thing happens and we actually win, do I have to come up on stage with you?”

“Well, it’s _our_ Grammy, Lou, not mine, so I’d like you to,” Harry said, seeing the colour drain from Louis’ face. “I need you to cover in case I come in my pants or something.” Louis cackled at that, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet. “But honestly, yes I want you up there. You don’t have to talk, just be by my side. I’ll do the speech bit.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it,” Louis said, nodding to himself. “I mean, we don’t need to worry because there’s no way we will win against those other songs, but just in case, you know?”

“Stranger things have happened, Louis,” Harry said, cryptically. “Like me wearing a sex toy to a glamorous global event. God knows what else you could talk me into.” Louis laughed and leaned to kiss Harry as a hush came over the audience, everyone applauding as the host made his way onto stage. They all listened intently, aware of cameras panning around, capturing their every move.

The first few awards passed quickly, gushing acceptance speeches taking place, tears were shed, and the closer to their award they got, the more nervous Louis felt.

“Next is the Grammy for Song of the Year. Here are the nominations.”

Louis felt like he was going to be sick as a clip for Home played out around the arena after two other nominees, a photo of Harry filling the screens since there was no official music video for the song. Everyone in the room clapped, Louis being patted on the back by Adele, who was sat behind him as he released a big breath, the next nominee coming up.

“Oh shit, Haz, I’m gonna be sick,” Louis mumbled, and Harry wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulders, holding him tight, his own face tense and nervous-looking by now.

“No, you’re not,” Harry said, but his own foot was tapping on the floor, belieing his calm nature. “Oh fuck, here we go.”

Applause died down in the arena as the presenter came back up to the microphone, a gold envelope in his hand.

“All excellent and worthy songs. But there can only be one winner.” The tension was palpable, and Louis was a little worried he was crushing Harry’s hand with how hard he was gripping it.

“And the winner of the Grammy for Song of the Year is…”


	51. For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winner of the Grammy is revealed. Louis and Harry fly home, eager to be reunited with Jacob again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the turn this takes haha... blame Liz. Always blame Liz.
> 
> Airport manip used with permission from the amazing [lwtlegend91](https://twitter.com/lwtlegend91) on Twitter, check out her other amazing manips.

“And the winner of the Grammy for Song of the Year is…”

All Louis could feel was his own hand wrapped tightly around Harry’s, blood rushing through his ears. It was almost an out-of-body experience. He could feel himself floating, looking down on him and Harry sat there at the table together, linked by their hands, awaiting a fate that neither of them had any control over. He bit down hard on his lip, tasting the metallic twang of blood and he swallowed heavily, holding his breath, waiting for something he didn't realise he needed until this moment.

“ _Home,_ performed by Harry Styles, written by Louis Tomlinson and Harry Tomlinson!”

Louis was even more stunned that Harry had submitted the writing credits under his married name than the fact he’d just won a Grammy with his husband. He had won. A Grammy. He was a Grammy winning songwriter. Holy fuck.

“Oh my god Lou-” Suddenly, Harry’s hands were grabbing him and hauling him from his seat, long arms wrapping around his shaking torso. Louis pulled back and felt Harry’s hand on his cheek, guiding Louis’ gaze towards his face for a moment. Louis just stared into Harry’s eyes, noting the wide smile on his face, and the crater-like dimple popping in his cheek. “Louis… we won, baby. We did it.”

Louis just nodded blindly, and took Harry’s hand, letting himself be guided towards the stage, the cheers and claps of the arena swirling around his ears. Their song was playing out in the arena as well, and Louis smiled to himself, hearing Harry's dulcet tones perfectly singing the words he'd written for him. He could feel people slapping his shoulder or tapping his arm as he walked past, heading for the large staircase at the front of the stage, Harry turning and smiling at him before they ascended the steps together. Louis’ heart was racing again, and he took a deep breath as he put his first brogue clad foot onto the stage.

He followed Harry over to where the presenter for their award was stood, famous golden Grammy trophy in his hands. Harry shook the man’s hand first, Louis had gone blank on his name. Louis stepped over next and accepted the man’s congratulations, and stood by, waiting for Harry to take the outstretched award. Instead, Harry shook his head, and indicated to Louis.

“You take it, darling. This is all for you.” Louis blushed and took the trophy, turning it over in his hands, a look of wonderment on his face. He felt Harry take his hand and was pulled over a few steps, stopping next to Harry who was starting to speak into the microphone now, the eyes of thousands of gathered musicians, songwriters, producers and other music business related people watching their every move and listening intently to Harry.

“Wow. Just… I didn't think we stood a chance of winning this to be honest. I mean, _Home_ is a great song, of course it is, but the ones we were up against were truly amazing as well. So that makes this even better, and I am so proud our little love song has been given such a prestigious honour, so thank you.” Applause followed Harry’s words, and he smiled out, turning to Louis and grinning even more at him before he spoke again.

“There are a few thank you’s we’d like to say before we’re hustled off stage if that’s okay. This is probably a once in a lifetime thing and I want to make the most of it.” Light laughter filled the arena at that, and Harry blushed slightly before clearing his throat and beginning to speak again.

“Firstly to my team who have supported us, with everything from my music to my coming out, and finally my marriage. I appreciate all the effort you put in, thank you for your support and endless work for me. Secondly, to the Academy who chose our song as the winner. You have no idea how much this means to us, so thank you for recognising our song.” More applause came, and Louis gently handed the trophy over to Harry, aware people would want a photo of his husband with it too, since he was actually the famous one.

“Thirdly, to our families, who have supported everything we have done, from the song to getting married in secret. When I married Louis, I didn't just find a husband and a son, I found a whole new family that I love to bits, and I know Louis feels the same about my family too. Your endless support through these difficult past few months has meant the world to us, and we both love you all so much.” Louis could hear people cooing at Harry’s words, a few women resting their heads on their husbands shoulders as they watched on fondly.

“Okay, I’m sorry I’m getting soppy, I’m nearly done, I promise. I mentioned a son. Jacob. The absolute light of my life. You’ve taught me what it is to be a father, to value someone else’s life over your own, and how to love someone unconditionally. Blood has never mattered between us Jake, and it never will. I love you more than anything, and I am the proudest dad in the whole world because I get to call you my son.” Some people were openly emotional now at Harry’s words. “This one is for you, Jacob, our son, the best thing that happened to me, and you inspire me to be a better person, a better man, every day I get to be your dad. I love you… we love you so much.”

Louis grinned and held up a hand in a wave, and went to walk offstage but was stopped by the deep rumble of Harry’s voice again.

“Lastly… my Louis. My husband, my best friend, my everything. It was you who inspired this song thanks to your amazing words. It was you I was singing to when I recorded this song. It was you I married on the day we released this song to the world. It was you who I fell head over heels in love with, and it’s always gonna be you that I love, forever and always. You’re an amazing husband, and I’m in awe of you as I watch you parent our son… and our puppy.” A few giggles were heard then and Louis swallowed heavily, feeling a lump in his throat and tears burning at the back of his eyes because of Harry’s speech.

“Thank you for loving me, and accepting this crazy life as one you want to be a part of. Thank you for always supporting me, and inspiring me every single day of our lives together. We have so much to look forward to together-” They shared a secret smile at that, and Louis nodded, roughly swiping away a tear that was falling down his cheek. “-and I couldn’t be prouder to accept this award with you, for our song. Thank you for marrying me, and loving me and… well, being you.” Harry bit his lip and stepped over, stopping just in front of Louis, Louis’ whole body trembling now. “Can I kiss you?” The words were whispered, only for them to share, and Louis nodded, watching as Harry bent down to put the trophy on the floor for a second before he felt Harry’s big but gentle hands resting on his cheeks as he ducked his head, pressing his lips against Louis’ own for a moment, the cheers erupting in the background fading to nothing as they kissed.

They parted and Louis smiled softly, bravely stepping up to the microphone, a stunned Harry watching on from the side, trophy clutched in his hand, his platinum wedding ring contrasting perfectly with the golden trophy in his hands again.

“Thank you to anyone who has bought and supported _Home_. This song means a lot to me, and I love how you’ve all embraced it. Thank you to the Academy for the nomination, and picking it as a Grammy winner. Thank you to our families, and to our son Jake for your endless support, and finally, thank you to Harry, for showing me how it feels to be loved and cherished every single day. I love you.”

Music started to play as finally the couple walked off stage, stopping at a screen backstage where they stood with their award, arms around each others waists as they smiled widely at the cameras, blinded slightly be the sheer amount of flashbulbs going off in front of their faces. The trophy was being held by both men between them, and their fingertips were touching under the black metal base, a grounding touch for both in a moment of complete and utter madness. People were shouting their names, asking them to turn, some screaming for Harry to take pictures by himself, which he outright refused to do.

Instead, he turned his head and kissed Louis, aware that was the photo that would probably make the front pages of the papers, and the headlines of internet websites tomorrow morning. He smiled into the kiss, and whispered many love you’s against Louis’ lips before they were finally able to slip away. As they turned for one last round of photos, Louis snuck his hand down Harry’s back until he reached his backside, pressing slightly on the swell of Harry’s ass, where he could feel the plug. Harry tensed slightly, only for Louis to really sense, but Louis smirked to himself at how Harry was still affected, despite his romantic and soppy interlude on stage in front of everyone.

They were shown back to their seats, unable to really celebrate together, and were swept up into hugs and kisses from people all around their table, the trophy being passed around, Louis taking a second to admire their names on the metal plaque at the front before he passed it to Adele, turning his body to Harry for a moment.

“Harry Tomlinson, huh?” he asked, smirking at his husband, who was blushing at being called out on it. “I love that. But… why?”

“That’s my name, Lou. I told you when we got married and I changed my name that I’d keep Styles for the public stuff, for my music. But we wrote this together, as Harry and Lou, not as Harry Styles and a writing team and I… I wanted to acknowledge that, in my own little way. So when I submitted it and wrote your name first, I just- it felt right, to use Tomlinson as well.”

“Fuck, I love you so much,” Louis mumbled, Harry’s lips resting against his own again for a few seconds.

 

The rest of the ceremony passed by in a bit of a blur, and soon enough, the guests were being shepherded from the arena, shown out to various cars that would ferry them to one of the many famous after parties going on. Louis was quiet in the car, leg pressed up against Harry’s as they were driven away from the venue after pausing for a few paparazzi photos, and Harry seemed to sense something was wrong. He leaned forwards and tapped on the dividing glass, Louis wondering quietly what was going on.

“Hey, um sorry for this but would you mind just taking us back to our hotel, please?” He went on to give the driver the name, and the man nodded, indicating and directing them straight away to a different route.

“You didn't have to do that,” Louis murmured quietly, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder, not caring his hair product was probably getting all over Harry’s Gucci suit, he just wanted to be close to his husband for a minute. “But thank you.”

“Yeah, I did, love. I just want you to be happy, you know that. You’re not comfortable at these things, and personally I wouldn’t mind getting you back to the hotel room and all to myself for a little while.” He wriggled in his seat slightly, flushing as the plug shifted inside him. “I’ve had this thing in for hours, and I’m more than ready for something else to replace it.”

Louis grabbed his face and kissed him filthily for a few moments, a kiss full of promises and want and lust, and Harry moaned, his hand wrapping around the back of Louis’ neck, the air between them charged and full of anticipation. “Can’t believe you had to go on stage with that inside you… and I’m the only one who will ever know you did that. I like that…” Louis whispered against Harry’s lips, and Harry groaned again, biting down on Louis’ bottom lip. “Are we gonna celebrate?”

“Fuck- yes, please-” Harry begged, and Louis giggled, settling back in his seat, ignoring Harry’s whine. He loved that Harry knew him well enough that he didn't have to verbalise the fact he didn't want to go to the party, and Harry certainly didn't make him feel bad for it in the slightest. His body was thrumming with the anticipation of getting Harry back to their room, and as the limo pulled up outside the hotel, Louis grabbed their Grammy from the floor where it had been by his feet, grasping Harry’s hand tightly in his own.

A few of the hotel staff stopped them, offering congratulations, admiring the award in Louis’ hands as they headed through the lobby, and neither Harry or Louis could be rude despite how badly they wanted to get upstairs. They let people hold the award, let them take a few photos with it before Harry took it back, saying he was really tired and needed to head to bed, everyone apologising profusely for bothering them, Louis waving away their apologies with a big smile.

He slid his keycard out of his pocket and pushed it into the slot in the lift, hitting the button for the penthouse suite, the button lighting up at his touch. They managed to stay apart in the elevator, dark, hungry eyes on each other across the small space, Harry’s breaths filling the lift as he pressed his back against the wall, jostling the plug inside him.

“God, Lou…” he whined, and Louis strutted out of the lift into the living area. He didn't bother with the lights, instead he turned and waited, watching Harry throw their Grammy onto the nearby sofa, and he smiled, letting Harry scoop him up bridal style and together they headed into the bedroom. Harry carefully placed his feet on the floor and kissed Louis hard, letting out a low noise when their tongues finally touched. Harry’s hands were gripping at Louis’ hips, and Louis gently pushed him towards the bed, hands on the smooth planes of his chest, and Harry let out a little ‘oof!’ as he hit the mattress, followed by a wince as the plug pushed deeper inside for a moment.

“Jesus, Louis… make me crazy, baby…” he mumbled, and Louis rolled on top of him, tangling his fingers in the curls at the base of Harry’s neck and pulling slightly, knowing Harry enjoyed that a little bit. Their lips moved with ease, both familiar with what the other wanted from the kiss, and Louis ground his thigh into Harry’s crotch, feeling his husband was already hard for him, the plug clearly doing its job of keeping Harry on the brink of arousal.

“We won a Grammy,” Louis whispered between kisses, trailing his fingers down, undoing the tiny pearl buttons on Harry’s dark shirt, running the tip of his tongue down between Harry’s pecs, watching his husband jump slightly under his touch. “Us. You and me. We won, Haz. How are we gonna celebrate?”

“I have a few ideas,” Harry mumbled, resting his hands on the crown of Louis’ head, breathing heavily as Louis licked across the laurel tattoos at his hips. “Fuck, I love you baby, made me so proud on that stage….”

“The things you said…” Louis whispered again, crawling up Harry’s body, straddling his hips by now. “I can’t believe you spoke about me like that, in front of all those people. Just… you’re amazing, you know that? I can never thank you enough for what you said.”

“You don’t have to, you’re mine. That’s enough,” Harry said, and Louis surged down again, kissing Harry with such passion and love, he almost wanted to cry. He let out a shrill shriek as Harry picked him up by his hips, lifting him up off his body and dumping him on the mattress next to him. “Don’t move, I- I need to do something.” Louis nodded and propped himself up on his elbows as he watched Harry rifle in the wardrobe for a second before disappearing into the bathroom, the door closing with a quiet click behind him.

Louis quickly shed his suit while he waited for Harry, dimming the bedside lamps slightly, setting the bottle of lube out on the bedside table, eager to put it to good use as soon as he could. He watched as the door handle to the bathroom started to lower, and he felt his heart skip a beat, wondering what surprise Harry had lined up for him. His husband was silhouetted against the light of the bathroom but when Harry stepped properly into the room, Louis just sighed and blinked, unable to drag his eyes away.

Harry’s beautiful body was stood in front of him, bare except for his wedding band and the softest pink knickers wrapped around his slender hips. Instead of looking unsure as he had the previous times he’d worn lingerie for Louis, he looked confident, shoulders thrown back, one hand on his hip, biting his lip as he looked over to Louis for a reaction.

“God. You’re so, so beautiful,” Louis said, getting to his feet and stumbling over to Harry. He let his hands glide down Harry’s sides, stopping as they reached the soft lace. These knickers had been a pair that Harry had picked out in Victoria’s Secret the other day with Louis, much softer and less dirty looking than the things Louis had picked out for him, and Louis loved how good they clearly made Harry feel. “You look amazing… the colour against your skin- fuck, you’re stunning, love.”

“Thank you,” Harry said shyly, gasping as Louis ran the back of his index finger along the line of his hard cock, hidden behind the lace. “Touch me, Lou-”

“In a minute,” Louis said, surprising Harry as he dropped to his knees, the thick pile of the carpet beneath him cushioning his landing somewhat. Harry just groaned and threw his head back, his curls lolling about his face wildly as Louis leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry’s cock, through the lace, not wanting to delve underneath just yet. Harry looked stunning like this, feminine yet manly at the same time, and Louis couldn’t get enough of it.

He pressed kissed up and down Harry’s bare thighs, over the tattoos at his hips, and his mind was racing with ideas of how he could convince Harry to get another tattoo, something for the pair of them. That was a thought for another time though, now, he had things to do attend to. He attached his lips to the pale skin of Harry’s left hip and sucked hard, the flesh twitching under his touch until Louis popped off, admiring the dark red bruise already blooming on his husband’s skin.

“I like marking you, making you mine,” Louis mumbled, putting his hands on the insides of Harry’s thighs, forcing them apart gently, watching Harry’s toe curls at the touch. He kissed along there too, knowing how sensitive his husband’s thighs were, and Harry’s hand scrabbled on the top of Louis’ head, curling into his hair without hurting him, and Louis smirked, drifting upwards until mouth sat over the head of his cock, breathing warmly onto it.

“Louis… do something, fuck- please touch me,” Harry begged, cheeks red and pupils blown by now. “I need, god, shit- I need you-”

“Okay baby,” Louis said, snaking a hand up and pushing at the plug, again staying above the lace, knowing the lack of skin on skin contact was making his husband crazy with lust. He pressed his mouth back to Harry’s cock, licking through the soft lace and tasting precome that was steadily beading from the tip of Harry’s hard cock, enjoying the taste. He sucked through the fabric, sort of desperate to touch the soft skin there but this was enough for now. He pushed the plug again with his pointer finger as he sucked and licked up and down Harry’s shaft, Harry whining and moaning lowly with every touch and lick, needing much more but losing his ability to verbalise what he wanted.

Louis started to be a little rougher with the plug then, moving his jaw to mouth at Harry’s ball, ignoring his cock completely for a few minutes. Harry was babbling incoherently, and Louis just smirked, continuing with his ministrations, sensing from how Harry’s body was tensing that he was getting close. He didn't stop, even when Harry tugged his hair, trying to get him to stand up. This was how he wanted Harry, and he usually got what he wanted.

“Lou- I’m gonna, fuck, don’t stop baby- I’m gonna come-” Louis just looked up, sucking at the head of his cock, aware of how he looked like this as Harry looked down at him. Harry’s hand came down, clutching at Louis’ jaw and he came suddenly, filling the knickers with his release, Louis still sucking, the slightly bitter taste of Harry’s come teasing his tongue. He quickly pressed kisses down his shaft again before pulling off, licking his lips obscenely as he stumbled to his feet, grabbing Harry in a filthy kiss.

Harry pulled away, his eyes dark and full of something Louis couldn’t put his finger on, and Louis’ heart raced, knowing Harry was contemplating what move to make, looking hotter than hell stood there, flushed with the pleasure of his orgasm, come soaked knickers still clinging to his body. Wordlessly, Harry spun around and headed back to the wardrobe, yanking one of their suitcases out and digging around, and when Louis saw what it was, his breath hitched, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Oh god-”

“Oh god is right, get on the bed,” Harry said, watching with hungry eyes as Louis climbed onto the mattress, settling on his back, waiting for Harry to move again. He did, leaning over first and hooking his fingers into the waistband of Louis’ dark boxers, yanking them down and throwing them to one side, leaving Louis bare in front of him. Harry just stared for a moment, eyes fixed on Louis’ cock, eventually dragging his gaze up to meet Louis’ eyes. “Okay?” he asked, quickly getting consent for what he wanted to do, something that was always important to him, for both of them.

Louis nodded blindly, the air between them shifting, the atmosphere in the room suddenly full of something new. Harry grabbed the dildo from where he’s tucked it into the back waistband of his knickers, setting it on the bed next to Louis’ bare thigh. He crawled up Louis’ body and kissed at his neck, licking along his sensitive collarbones. “You liked teasing me, hmm?” he asked, and Louis nodded again, panting with how Harry was kissing and sucking at his skin.

“Yeah, I- I love it-”

“Good. Now it’s my turn. Just say if it’s too much,” he warned, and Louis swallowed, watching Harry’s left hand move to grab the toy, trailing it up the bare skin of his left thigh. Louis shuddered, wishing Harry would remove his knickers and touch him, but knew this was part of Harry’s plan, and he was helpless to deny Harry what he wanted after he’d been so good for him just moments ago. The thought that they were here, in bed together, instead of partying with the other winners made him feel smug, and in that moment, there was nowhere in the world he’d rather be than trapped under Harry’s body, ready and willing for whatever it was Harry wanted to give him.

“Please-” Louis mumbled, his lips dark and swollen from the constant biting, and Harry ran the silicone tip of the toy over Louis’ hard cock, smirking as it twitched at the touch, clearly craving more. He didn't stop, guiding it over the wet tip and back down, circling around Louis’ heavy balls for a moment, before darting back up again.

He teased Louis’ entrance with it, but soon Harry held it hard against Louis’ hard shaft, wrapping his large hand around both things for a moment, applying light pressure. His other hand stopped pinching Louis’ nipple and went down, flicking the base of the dildo, and Louis cried out as the toy started vibrating against his cock.

“Oh fuck- shit, Haz-” he cried, body arching and twisting at the sensation, unable to move away thanks to Harry’s hold on his cock, and his body perched on Louis’ hips, holding him in place. “Fuck-”

“Look so good like this, does it feel good?” Harry released Louis’ cock and the dildo, moving it slowly up and down Louis’ cock that was now resting against his stomach, hard and dripping from the tip. Harry watched Louis’ hand clench in the sheets under his body, fingertips gripping at the soft cotton, back arching beautifully, his abs popping under his soft skin. Harry groaned and leaned over, the vibrations throbbing against his own cock as he kissed Louis, swallowing down his moans, pushing his tongue deep into Louis’ mouth. “You are so fucking sexy… love seeing you lose it, wanna make you come like this-” He lifted the toy away for a moment, and Louis’ eyes flew open.

“Fucking- don’t fucking- don’t stop, please-” Louis begged, body writhing again as Harry pushed the toy lower, between Louis' cheeks, teasing at Louis’ entrance. He hadn’t put any lube on it so it was a dry touch, but in such a sensitive place Louis cried out again, hands flying up to grab at Harry, any part of his body he could touch.

“Am I making you feel good?” Harry rasped out, voice low with desire, his own cock hard again within his knickers, still sticky with his earlier come. He pressed Louis’ hand down, forcing his husband to palm him, and he dragged the toy up again, running it smoothly up and down Louis’ cock, shuffling backwards and surprising Louis again, sucking just the head of his cock between his lips, eagerly lapping up the precome, tasting Louis and swallowing him down.

“Fuck! Oh my god-” Louis said, fingers fumbling in Harry’s hair as the toy continued to vibrate against his balls and the base of his cock, Harry’s lips sliding up and down his shaft. Louis craned his neck, wanting to see, and the sight of his cock disappearing between Harry’s soft, pink lips was the final straw. Louis started to come hard, filling Harry’s mouth with his release, and he bit down hard on his shoulder, trying not to buck his hips, his body reacting wildly to the multitude of sensations Harry was putting him through.

As he slowed his movements, Harry stopped the buzzing of the toy and threw it to the side, watching as it bumped on the mattress next to him. Louis flopped back down onto the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes as Harry scooted up, laying his head on Louis’ bare chest, teasing his nipple with his tongue for moment, Louis’ hand coming to rest between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“What the fuck was that?” he said lowly, his voice ruined from all his cries and screams. “I never thought of-”

“Me neither, was just struck with inspiration, wondered how it might feel to be teased like that,” Harry confessed, already starting to rut against his husband. He was hugely turned on by the reaction Louis had to the toy, and now he felt desperate for more again. “So Lou…”

Louis just hummed in reply, worn out and spent after his strong orgasm, chest still heaving with his deep breaths as he came down.

“Well. You’ve had me open with this plug all night long, aren’t you gonna take advantage of that?” He pressed his hard cock against Louis’ thigh, showing how interested he was. He wriggled as he felt Louis’ hand creep across his lower back, finally dipping below the waistband of his knickers and resting on his cheeks, his middle fingers sliding between them and fingering at the plug, just pressing it ever so slightly in, Harry moaning in pleasure.

“What do you want?” Louis asked, keen for Harry to tell him exactly what it is he wanted.

“You… inside me, please-” Harry said, locking eyes with Louis, desperate by now.

“Shit- yeah, okay,” Louis said, rolling them over so he was on top of Harry, but quickly found his back hitting the bed again. “Um-”

“Wanna ride you-” Harry said, and Louis just nodded, letting Harry slide down the bed, settling on his stomach between his legs. Harry carefully picked up one of Louis’ legs, setting over his shoulder before doing the same thing with the other one, Louis whining as he realised what Harry was planning to do. Harry kissed his way between Louis’ thighs, rutting against the bed himself, and slowly, he put his hands on Louis’ cheeks, pulling them apart, and leaned in, licking a stripe over Louis, where Louis wanted him the most, despite the fact he knew he was going to be the one doing the fucking.

“Holy shit-” Louis shut his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Harry’s hot, wet tongue laving over his entrance, sucking and pressing against him, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin there. “Harry- oh god-”

Harry’s head appeared between his legs then, chin and face wet with his own spit. “You okay?”

“More-” was all Louis could say, and Harry nodded, returning to his position, tongue darting out and circling Louis’ hole. Harry was insistent, the tip of his tongue pushing past the tight muscle several times, driving Louis wild and he dug his heels in to Harry’s back, trying not to come before he could even get his cock inside his husband. Harry flicked his tongue purposefully, pressing kisses to the soft, dusky skin and he pulled away for a second, blowing cool air against Louis, making him shiver. “So good baby, don’t stop, please-”

“Want you to fuck me, though, Lou,” Harry murmured and Louis nodded, knowing if he didn't get inside Harry soon, he’d come and spoil everything. Harry carefully put Louis’ legs back down on the mattress and turned around, pulling the knickers down and off his body before pointing his arse at Louis. The plug was settled nicely between his cheeks, and Louis sat up, admiring the sight before he brought a hand up, stroking his husband’s butt for a minute. “Take it out, Lou-”

“Okay,” Louis said, getting a grip on the base of the plug with shaking fingers, watching Harry’s body stretch as he pulled gently, the plug slipping from Harry’s hole with a squelch. Harry sighed as his body clenched around the emptiness, having spent the past few hours being full. He sat up and turned around carefully, pushing Louis’ shoulder back to the bed. “Ready, babe?”

Harry nodded and straddled Louis’ hips, neither wanting to bother with a condom, despite the fact they’d bought some with them, just in case they didn't fancy getting messy before or after the awards. He reached behind him, holding up Louis’ cock and slowly raised himself up on his haunches before lowering himself, sighing deeply as Louis’ cock breeched his body, sliding deep inside. He wasted no time in sinking right down, settling his arse on Louis’ hips, his cock fully inside him.

“Feel so good, so full,” Harry moaned, swirling his hips in figure of eight motions, stretching around Louis’ cock, which was thicker than the plug he’d had in all night. Louis’ cock had spent so much time inside him, though, that it didn't take long for the burn to melt away, and Harry slowly lifted himself up before going down again, groaning. “Oh Lou-”

“Baby, so good for you, ride me sweetheart, take my cock-” Harry threw his head back with a moan, loving the dirty words tumbling from Louis’ mouth. Louis’ hands rested on Harry’s hips, and he pulled his knees up, planting his feet on the mattress so he could meet Harry’s thrusts halfway, making it a bit rougher for his husband, who had his eyes shut in pleasure now, just working himself up and down Louis’ cock. “Look at me baby, please-”

Harry’s green eyes fluttered open, and he changed his position slightly, putting his palms on Louis’ chest, dipping his head low enough to brush his lips against Louis’ in a soft kiss, his hips still moving on top of Louis, Louis’ cock still buried inside him. “I… I wanna do something…”

Louis went to ask what but Harry pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him. He lifted himself up until Louis’ cock popped free, and Louis whined, already missing being inside his husband. Instead of speaking though, he watched as Harry turned himself around, facing his feet, and Louis groaned, thumping the mattress with a fist as Harry held his cock again, pushing it deep inside himself again. Louis’ view was perfect to watch his cock inside Harry’s body, and in Louis’ opinion, there was no better sight. The curve of Harry’s spine, the way his waist dipped in was mesmerising, and he just sat and watched as Harry took what he wanted, his body bouncing desperately on Louis’, skin slapping loudly.

What made Louis still, though, was when Harry reached for the discarded dildo next to him, turning and looking back at Louis over his shoulder, an arched eyebrow framing his face. Louis didn't move, not knowing what Harry planned to with it. Harry grabbed the lube and coated the toy, biting his lip, all the while still bouncing on Louis’ cock, pushing Louis’ thighs as far apart as he could, ensuring Louis stayed inside him.

“Tell me if you don’t like it,” Harry muttered, lining the toy up with Louis’ entrance. Louis couldn’t breathe as he felt the toy push inside him, gliding in easily thanks to the lube and Harry’s wonderful tongue opening him up a short while ago. It felt so much, being inside Harry and having something inside him at the same time, and he couldn’t move, just let Harry take charge. “Fuck… yeah baby, you like that?”

“Mmm,” Louis replied, shutting his eyes as Harry pushed the toy in and out slightly, getting Louis used to the stretch as he moved his hips in small circles, keeping Louis hard inside him. “Feels good…”

“Good,” Harry said softly, and started moving the toy a bit quicker, losing rhythm slightly as he tried to keep up his bounces as well as the movement of his wrist between Louis’ legs, staring with wide eyes as Louis’ body just took the dildo inside over and over. He sighed in relief as Louis started fucking up into him, letting Harry focus on working the dildo into Louis, and they were both moaning at both the visuals they were getting, and the sensations swooping through the pair of them.

“Haz...fuck-” Louis mumbled, and both continued to clumsily chase their orgasms, both loving being fucked and fucking the other at the same time. It was so much, and Louis momentarily felt overwhelmed at the level of trust and love between them that allowed them to be like this with each other. He trusted Harry implicitly with himself, his body and his heart, and he knew Harry felt the same for him. He loved being so open with Harry, willing to try new things, and he couldn’t help his soppy sentiments coming out. “God, I love you so much… love how you make me feel so good, that you want so much with me-”

“Always, want everything with you,” Harry mumbled, stilling the dildo for a moment as he looked back at Louis over his shoulder. “Love you more than anything-” he started to rock his hips again, and Louis gasped as he slammed down hard, pushing the dildo deep inside Louis at the same time.

“Oh fucking hell- again, Haz, please, again-” Harry complied, repeating the motions over and over, and soon Louis couldn’t hold back anymore, coming hard inside his husband, crying out Harry’s name as he did so, watching the first few drops of come slide out of Harry, unable to stay inside thanks to the thrusts of his hips. “Turn around, now-”

Harry pulled the dildo from Louis’ body and dropped it on the floor, rising enough to turn around carefully, Louis’ cock still inside him. He nodded as Louis wrapped his fingers around Harry’s hard cock, enjoying how rock hard Harry felt, and despite his own sensitivity, he rocked up inside Harry roughly, determined to make him come.

Harry did so, with a shout of Louis’ name, covering Louis’ torso with strings of come,  holding his body still as much as he could, Louis fucking up into him until Harry begged him to stop, his body over sensitive and almost sore now. Louis let him flop on top of him, stroking down his sweaty spine as they breathed heavily, both completely worn out and spent.

“Jesus.”

“I know,” Louis returned, his own voice gravelly by now. “We’ve been married nearly a year now. Isn’t sex supposed to get, like, more boring by now?”

“Maybe for everyone else,” Harry said, turning and looking at Louis, a big smile on his face. “I just can’t get enough of you, don’t think I ever will to be honest.”

“You soppy bastard,” Louis mumbled, kissing Harry’s swollen lips again. “I love you so much. Thank you, for that, for what you said on stage, for… well. For everything. You make me so fucking happy.”

“Pretty sure you make me happy too,” Harry said, startling when Louis slapped his arm, the pair bursting out laughing. “I need a shower. I’m officially gross.” He indicated his own stomach, covered in sweat and come, and trailed a finger through the pool of come on Louis’ belly, drawing patterns in it much to Louis’ disgust.

Louis and Harry stumbled to the shower, washing each other, kissing until their lips were sore and walked back into the bedroom, changing the bottom sheet quickly before they collapsed back into bed in each other’s arms. They’d just dozed off to sleep when the shrill ring of Harry’s phone filled the room.

“Leave it,” Louis groaned, pushing the pillow against his ears, trying to drown out the sound.

“Can’t, what if it’s Jacob..” Harry mumbled, reluctantly getting to his feet and grabbing the phone from the table. “‘Lo?”

He frowned at the ensuing conversation, Louis only catching snippets of it thanks to the fact he was half asleep. He woke slightly when Harry heavily sat back on the mattress, resting a hand on Louis’ leg, stroking mindlessly as he shook his head again, repeating ‘no, not now’ into the phone. Louis sent him a questioning look, and nodded knowingly when Harry mouthed ‘management’ at him, relaxing back now he knew it wasn’t anything immediately concerning.

“Look, may I be blunt with you?” Harry said suddenly, and Louis’ eyes flew open, knowing that was Harry’s ‘I’ve had enough now’ tone, one he didn't hear often if truth be told. “Okay. I’ve just had my brains fucked out by my husband to celebrate winning our Grammy. So unless you want the whole world seeing what a freshly fucked Harry Styles looks like, I suggest you save the interview for another time.”

“Oi oi!” Louis shouted, and Harry burst out laughing, clapping his hand over his mouth at the loud noise that erupted from him. “Go Hazza!”

“Seriously I’m going back to bed with my husband now. We’re gonna sleep, wake up and probably have some more amazing sex, then we’re getting a plane home so we can be with our son. Then, and only then, I might consider doing your interview. Goodbye.” Harry pressed harshly at his phone screen and put it onto the table next to the bed, snuggling back up to Louis straight away.

“Harold Edward Tomlinson, you dirty boy,” Louis quipped, running his fingertips through the hair on Harry’s chest. “Not like you to get so… graphic about our sex life, love, what was that about?”

“Oh they wanted me to do some fucking godforsaken BBC Breakfast interview about the Grammy win. I mean, really? It’s the middle of the night. I’m not going on telly after I’ve just had what is possibly the dirtiest sex of my life with my husband.”

“And you let them know that too,” Louis said through a laugh. “And I’m quite proud of the fact your team know I fucked your brains out tonight-” He was stopped from talking by Harry’s lips pressing against his own, kissing softly and gently, the opposite of how they’d kissed each other all night.

“Sleep,” Harry mumbled as he pulled away, falling back to bed and dragging Louis into his arms, curling his body around Louis’, shoving a leg between his husband’s. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So much it scares me,” Louis whispered, but the words fell on deaf ears. Harry was already sound asleep, and Louis swiftly followed, a sense of happiness and contentment settling through his bones.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

*****

“So do I get like a card or something?” Louis mumbled, hand entwined with Harry’s as they walked down the hallway at the airport, Virgin Atlantic staff flanking them on either side. Louis had a feeling there would be a gaggle of press waiting for them in arrivals thanks to the news of their Grammy win spreading around the world quickly, fans going absolutely crazy on social media at the photos of them kissing with their award between their bodies.

“Why would you get a card, Lou?” Harry asked, staring down in amusement at his crazy husband, already itching to see their son. They’d phoned Jacob from the airport early that morning, and he’d been excited to see his dads, and the presents they’d already told him about.

“Well, when you join a club, you usually get a membership card, right?” Harry laughed loudly at that, bumping his hip against Louis’ as they walked.

“You’re so ridiculous,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb over Louis’ hand. “Ready for this?” He could hear the roar of the gathered crowds behind the doors, and Louis nodded, still smirking over his apparent quick wit. Harry yanked him closer, whispering in Louis’ ear, words for only him to hear. “But I’ll make you a mile high club card, if you want one so bad.” He laughed as Louis blushed, and they headed for the doors, following the ladies in their fitted red uniforms.

They were blinded as they stepped through the doors, still holding hands, heads down, heading for the exit where they were sure Niall was going to be waiting to pick them up as Harry had arranged. They were stopped by a loud scream, and a sudden patter of footsteps ran at them. Harry chucked his bag to one side and prepared himself, scooping up the little human that slammed against him, small legs wrapping around his waist, Harry nuzzling his face into his neck.

“I missed you so much,” Jacob whispered at Harry, squeezing tightly around his dad’s neck.

“I missed you more,” Harry said back, feeling Louis’ arms coming and wrapping around them both. Gently, Harry switched their positions, passing Jacob off into Louis’ arms, smiling at the tears that fell from Louis’ face at the surprise reunion with their son. He reached out, wiping the tears away, kissing Louis’ cheek as he caught sight of Niall, his friend smiling softly at the family.

Louis set Jacob on the floor, and Harry picked his rucksack up from the floor, holding Jacob’s hand, Louis on Jacob’s other side, smiling softly at the press taking many photos of them all.  Niall grabbed Harry in a hug as they walked over and met him, Louis hugging him too, thanking him for the surprise.

“Best surprise ever,” Louis said, hugging his son close again. “I know it was only a few days but I missed you, bud.”

“I’m glad you are home but I am so happy you and Dad won the Grammer,” Jacob said, a big grin on his face.

“Grammy,” Harry corrected with a smile, holding Jacob’s hand tightly as they pushed their way through the crowds to the exit where Niall’s Audi was waiting for them. “We’ll have to get a few pictures of you with it at home.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jacob said, climbing into the car seat Niall had set up for him in the backseat. Louis sat in the front next to Niall, while Harry sat next to Jacob. “But when do I get my presents?”

All the adults in the car laughed, Harry grabbing his little hand and kissing the back of it as Niall manoeuvered the car out from the front of the airport, heading onto the motorway in the direction of home. Harry smiled to himself at the thought of home, a word that held so many connotations for him now… his Grammy award winning song, his actual house he lived in with his boys, and the boys that were home all by themselves, his husband and his son. His world.


	52. We Don't Talk Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis come back to reality with a bump in the weeks after the Grammy’s. 
> 
> Jacob finds things tough at school, Louis struggles to juggle everything and Harry tries desperately to hold everything together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to lovely Liz for talking this through with me.
> 
> Updates are going to be every 3-4 days now for my sanity, I hope that's okay because there is so much more to come for this little family, and I hope you're still enjoying this as much as I am!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments...

**Three weeks later**

Harry yawned and flicked the kettle on, glancing over to the now sleeping puppy in his basket in the corner of the kitchen, rolling his eyes slightly.

“Right, so you sleep when the house has be up and about,” he muttered, putting a teaspoon of coffee into a mug for himself, and a teabag in Louis’. He poured Jacob a glass of milk and set it on the table next to his bowl of cereal. He’d been most of the night with Percy again, the puppy still finding sleeping through the night difficult, and Harry was finding himself more and more tired,  never quite catching up on the sleep he missed. He was also starting to slightly resent the fact he was the only one getting up, Louis seemingly able to sleep through absolutely anything. Harry couldn’t help but think it didn't bode for if they welcomed a baby into their home.

“Morning,” Louis said, sloping into the kitchen, standing by the toaster as he shoved two pieces of bread into the gadget, pushing the handle down. “Did he sleep through last night?”

“No,” Harry said a little tensely. “He did not sleep through, Louis.”

“Oh. Sorry babe. You should have woken me, I’d have come down-”

“And what’s the point in me waking you up if I’m already awake? That just means two of us with broken sleep instead of just me. Forget about it, I’m sure he’ll settle soon,” Harry said as he filled the mugs with water. Louis wandered off, hollering up the stairs to Jacob to shift his butt, and soon, Harry heard the thunder of footsteps as Jacob ran down.

“Morning Daddy,” Jacob said, flinging his arms around Louis’ waist, hugging him before he went to Harry and did the same, kissing his cheek as Harry bent down for the hug. If there was one thing guaranteed to cheer Harry up, it was hugs with his boy.

“Good morning, love. Brekkie is on the table. Lou, here’s your tea,” Harry said, setting it down on the coaster, waiting for Louis to bring over their toast. They ate quietly, Harry not in the mood for the usual morning chatter. He pushed a pile of papers over the side and Louis tutted, glancing up at Harry.

“Careful please, don’t get jam on them, it’s work stuff,” Louis chided, and Harry bit back a sigh, determined not to have yet another argument this morning, like they had for the past week or so. Things had been rough for the family since they returned from LA three weeks ago, Grammy in tow. They’d had a perfect few days to settle back in before Louis had to go back to work, and Harry had to start songwriting again.

It hadn’t been easy though. Harry had struggled to get anything worthy down on paper, and if he was honest, it was stressing him out. Writing songs was usually something that came easily to him, so to struggle was entirely new, and he wasn’t dealing with it well. Combine that with a sleepless puppy, a grouchy and worn out husband, and an energetic seven year old, and you get a very tired and grumpy Harry Tomlinson, a side of himself he didn't particularly like sneaking through more often than not.

“I’m not stupid, Lou. I wouldn’t do that to your work stuff,” he snapped, biting down on the last piece of his toast before he pushed back from the table, heading over to the counter to finish preparing the lunchboxes as he did every morning. Jacob chatted easily to Louis about something he was doing in class as Harry slotted the boy’s lunchbag into his waiting rucksack, and left Louis’ on the side, hoping his husband remembered to pick it up before he left.

“I’ll take Jake to school today, you just rest here,” Louis said, coming over and pecking Harry’s lips quickly, hoping to soothe his husband a little. “I really am sorry about Percy. I’ll try my best to listen out for him tonight, I promise.” Harry let out a little sigh and nodded, hating arguing with Louis. He missed the ease of their communication back in LA, where they had none of their usual responsibilities to worried about, and he sort of longed to go back, Jacob in tow this time.

“It’s alright. Sorry I’m grumpy, I’m just tired, and pissed off I can’t seem to write at the moment,” he said, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Louis’. Louis kissed him again gently, his small hands on Harry’s waist. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Louis said, taking Harry’s left hand and bringing it up to his lips, kissing his wedding band for a second, a habit he’d gotten into lately that he quite liked. He could hear Jacob banging around in the hallway, thumping his shoes onto his feet since he was too lazy to untie the laces, and got onto his tiptoes, whispering into Harry’s ear. “Maybe we could have some fun in bed tonight? It’s been a while…”

Harry nodded, smiling slightly to himself. They hadn’t had sex in around ten days since they’d been so busy, Harry was constantly stressed out and tired, and the lack of intimacy with his husband was starting to wear thing. “Yeah, I’d like that, baby.” He smiled and leaned forwards, kissing Louis’ lips quickly. “I’ll bring the Grammy in later on before the meeting, so Jake can do his little show and tell bit, okay?”

“Okay, love. Good luck writing today. And if you need any inspiration, you can always write about my ass.” He turned to walk away and wiggled it a bit in Harry’s direction, pleased to finally draw a laugh from his husband. “Bye sweetheart.”

“Bye Lou,” Harry said, wandering after them. He hugged Jacob and wished him a good day before he headed outside with the pair, helping Jacob into the car before he waved them off, sighing as he realised he was alone again. The house was just too quiet without his boys, and he glanced over to the sleeping puppy, unable to stop a wry smile covering his face. “Bloody menace,” he muttered, heading for his studio room, sitting down at the desk, hoping inspiration would come.

*****

“Oh hi ya, I’ve bought something in for Jacob Tomlinson?” Harry said with a smile to the lady sitting behind reception desk at the school, a carrier bag dangling from his fingertips.

“Ah, is this the Grammy we’ve all heard so much about?” The lady said in a teasing tone, and Harry nodded with a laugh, handing over the bag. “Don’t worry, we’ll get it to him. Are you staying for your meeting as well, Mr Tomlinson?”

“Yes, and it’s Harry, please,” he said, and headed over to the comfy chairs, sitting down and tapping out a few texts on his phone while he waited. He looked up when he heard the door open and smiled at the sight of his husband. Louis came over and Harry got to his feet, pecking Louis’ lips quickly, not wanting to make too much of a scene at Louis’ workplace. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Hey,” Louis replied, tucking the card of his lanyard into his shirt pocket, Harry watching every movement he made. He was a little surprised Louis hadn't greeted him with a term of affection as he usually did but brushed it aside, smiling at his him. He loved seeing his husband dressed up for work like this, a short sleeve shirt clinging to his curvy body, his lower half encased in navy slacks today. “Had a good morning?”

“Yeah, I guess. Took Percy for a walk round the block, he tried to bolt after this cat so I ended up carrying him and walking away in the other direction,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes, Louis unable to stop a snort erupting from his mouth. “He’s a bloody menace, Lou. But I remembered the thing for Jacob’s show and tell this afternoon though, so well done to me.”

“He’ll be chuffed, think that’s just before hometime, right? I’ll make sure to grab or he’ll just swing the plastic bag around like a nutter,” Louis commented, and Harry nodded,knowing exactly where his husband was coming from. “Did you get any writing done?”

Harry shook his head, an angry expression flitting across his face and Louis decided to keep quiet, knowing pushing Harry about it wouldn’t do any good at all. Instead, he reached over and took his hand, feeling Harry’s large fingers wrap around his own as they sat in silence, waiting to be called through. They were long overdue a catch up meeting about Jacob, and finally the Educational Psychologist was free to meet and discuss her findings with them. This meeting had been playing on Louis’ mind for weeks, and now it was here, part of him wanted to bury his head in the sand and ignore it.

“Louis? You and Harry can come through now,” Mrs Vaughn, the school’s SENCO said with a smile, holding the door open for Louis and Harry to follow her. They arrived in one of the school’s meeting rooms, sitting down around the table together, Harry sitting close to Louis, sensing his husband needed his support. They quickly made their introductions, everyone familiar with each other by now, and a silence fell as Miss Parker, the Ed Pysch began to talk.

“Okay, as you both know I’ve made several visits to the school to meet Jacob, to watch his learning in the classroom, and I’ve had a chance to work with him one on one as well to observe more closely. I’ve spoken with Mr Fox, Jacob’s teacher and Mrs Vaughn, and I’ve put together a report I feel reflects Jacob in my professional judgment.” She reached for a purple folder sat on the desk and took out a thick bundle of papers, sitting them in front of her. Louis scrabbled for Harry’s hand, feeling a bit sick.

“It is my professional judgment that Jacob has dyslexia. From the learning patterns I have seen and observed, it isn’t for a lack of trying that Jacob is struggling with his literacy work. He is dedicated and committed to his learning. I can see he has been working on his spelling work at home with his father-” Harry nodded, feeling a bit proud of that “-which has aided him, but when left to work independently, these techniques are forgotten and he slips back to his typical pattern of work.”

She continued to speak for quite some time, Louis’ heart sinking more with each revelation about his son. She discussed the plan she would like to have in place for Jacob within the school environment, including having permanent support in literacy classes, as well as interventions throughout the school day to help him learn ways of managing his dyslexia.

“I can assure you this will not hold Jacob back educationally. He is a bright boy with a love of learning, and he is socially on-par with the rest of his cohort. Emotionally, he is a stable child, with the exception of what has been happening at home with his father’s accident, although he spoke freely to me about his counselling sessions. I believe he will be able to cope, although there may be a few teething problems as he adjusts to the new help and ways of learning.”

Mrs Vaughn wrapped the meeting up, stating they would all meet again in a few weeks once things had been put in place with Jacob, and they had a clearer plan on how to move forward. They shook hands with everyone and Harry and Louis made their out of the room, holding hands as they headed to the reception.

“You okay?” Harry asked, pulling Louis close to him for a hug, knowing full well his husband really wasn’t okay.

“Yeah,” Louis said quietly, not meeting Harry’s gaze. “I’d better get back to work, but I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay, love. Have a good afternoon, I love you,” Harry said softly, pecking Louis’ lips quickly. “

“Yeah, you too. Bye Haz,” Louis said, turning around and sloping through the door back to work. Harry sighed, hating the sight of Louis walking away from him with hunched shoulders, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Harry headed to their car, sliding behind the driver’s seat, and instead of going home, he headed over to his Mum’s, needing to talk about the days revelations with someone other than Louis, someone a little more detached from the whole situation.

*****

That weekend, Harry bundled Jacob up into his coat, tying a scarf around the boys neck and making sure he had gloves in his pockets before they headed out on a walk. Louis had been quiet ever since the meeting and had cried off their walk, telling Harry he had some school work to prepare for Monday. Harry had nodded and slipped from the room, Louis not even looking up at him.

Harry had been keeping a brave face on for Jacob’s sake, but this kind of tension between him and Louis wasn’t easy for him to deal with. They hadn’t had an argument that could be fixed, instead, Louis was withdrawing into himself inexplicably, and Harry had no idea how to find the key to unlock him again. Despite their intentions earlier in the week, they’d yet to be intimate with each other, and they’d both fallen into bed, utterly exhausted each night, sharing only a chaste kiss before they fell asleep.

Jacob slotted his little hand into Harry’s, his other hand clutching Percy’s lead, the puppy already pulling, eager to get a move on. Harry smiled and headed off up the driveway, his son and his puppy either side of him as they headed off up the road. Jacob had one of Louis’ beanies stuck on his head in lieu of his own hat, and when he smiled up at Harry after a particularly terrible joke, Harry’s breath was stolen by how much his son looked like his father in that moment.

They chatted for a while as they walked, about anything from Jacob’s upcoming eighth birthday in a few months, to how much he was enjoying the school choir he’d recently joined. Harry loved that his son was into singing like he was, and he couldn’t wait for the concert that was going to be held at the school before the Easter holidays in a few months time. Jacob had already begged Harry to help him rehearse, and he couldn’t wait.

“Um, Dad?” Jacob asked, sitting on a park bench as Percy ran around them. Considering his age, he was a good puppy and never ventured far when he was off the lead. His little legs were too small to get himself too far away before Harry could catch him anyway, and he seemed content enough with Jacob throwing a tennis ball for him to fetch and bring back, over and over, much to the little boy’s joy.

“Yes, love?” Harry asked, looking down on his son, at his little trainer clad feet swinging underneath him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything,” Harry said honestly, always wanting the lines of communication open with his son, especially after his accident. They’d both come a long way in vocalising their feelings since their counselling, and Jacob still attended his appointments every week, Harry having dropped back to once a fortnight now he felt he was moving through, and was finding it easier to talk to Louis as well.

“Am I thick?”

Harry sat stunned for a moment, letting Jacob’s words sink in. It was the last thing he had expected his son to say, and he felt a little dumbfounded, wishing Louis was there to help guide him through this. “Are you- what? Why would you ask that?”

“One of the older boys said it to me at playtime the other day. I think it means I’m stupid, but… am I stupid? I…” He trailed off and Harry tucked his fingers under his chin, bringing Jacob’s face up until he looked at his own. Tears were brimming in the little boys eyes, and Harry’s heart broke, seeing him so sad and upset about something that was entirely untrue.

“Whoever said that is the stupid one,” Harry said, immediately hating his choice of words. “No, that’s not fair. I didn't mean that. Whoever said it clearly doesn’t understand what’s happening with you, love, and that’s not their fault. But even so, they’re wrong, very, very wrong. You remember what Daddy and I told you the other day?”

“That I have dys- dysleg, oh I can’t say it,” he said in frustration, little fists bashing down on the wooden bench either side of his thighs.

“Dyslexia,” Harry said softly, Jacob nodding at the new term. “It doesn’t mean you’re stupid, though. It means your brain finds it a little hard to do things like reading, and spelling. You just have to work a little bit harder to get those things done, and that’s why Daddy and I have been going to school, to get you the help you need.”

“So my brain isn’t bad?” Jacob asked, a lone tear trailing down his cheek which Harry hurried to wipe away, kissing his son’s cheek afterwards, wishing he could take away his pain. “It’s not stupid?”

“Never,” Harry said emphatically, keen for Jacob to understand. “Everyone is different love, and I love you exactly as you are, so does Daddy. We’re both so proud of how hard you work at school, and you never let it beat you, even when your work is hard and you find it tricky. I’m proud of how you know to ask for help, and I’m proud that you work hard with me everyday with your reading and spelling-”

“I love reading with you!” Jacob grineed, a smile finally crossing his features.

“I love it, too,” Harry said, grabbing Jacob’s hand. “But please, don’t listen when kids say stuff like that, because it isn’t true. Do you want me to come in to school-”

“No! I can talk to them,” Jacob spoke, his eyes wide at the idea of Harry coming in to fight his battles for him. Harry felt stunned at how grown up his little boy suddenly seemed, and nodded, letting Jacob know that was okay. “I mean, if he says anything else maybe but I can talk to Mr Fox and tell him,” Jacob said quietly. “Can we go home soon? I’m cold and my belly is hungry again.”

Harry laughed, getting to his feet, whistling for Percy to come back over which he did, staying still for Harry to fix his lead. He handed Jacob the lead who took it with a big smile, and they held hands, heading for home. Jacob practically skipped along, having got his worries off his chest, and when Harry arrived at their front door seconds after Jacob and Percy who had run up the drive, he pushed his key into the lock, the door swinging open.

Silence greeted them, Harry helped Jacob out of his stuff before the little boy ran off, probably going to watch some TV while Harry prepared lunch. He walked into the kitchen, followed by Percy who stood in front of his water bowl, drinking eagerly for a moment. Harry stopped, seeing Louis hunched over the table, his glasses perched on the end of his nose, an array of papers spread out across the table in front of him.

“Hey...” Harry said quietly, not wanting to disturb Louis too much. Louis looked up, sending Harry a tight smile and he began to gather his papers up, pushing them into a messy pile at one end so they could all sit and each lunch. “Get things sorted?”

“Not quite,” Louis said, his voice low and not full of his usual joy. “I’ll go and wash up with Jake, need a hand?”

“No, U can manage, thanks though,” Harry said, stepping towards Louis but he was too late, he’d gone after Jacob. Harry sighed and gathered the things from the cupboards and fridge he needed to make lunch, making light work of preparing the foods, setting down the plates of sandwiches and fruit on the table before calling for his boys.

Louis was silent as they ate lunch, and after it was done, Jacob helped Louis clear the table before he ran off, asking to watch Minions on the TV. Harry nodded and walked after him, putting the DVD into the machine before he rejoined Louis in the kitchen, his husband about to get back to work.

“Um, Lou, can we talk for a minute please?” Harry asked, feeling oddly nervous to talk to his husband. For a couple that usually never stopped talking, this odd silence between him and Louis was hard, and Harry hated it, wishing things could go back to normal. “Please…”

“Okay,” Louis said, putting his pen down and looking at Harry, his face oddly devoid of emotion. “What’s up?”

“Well, Jake said something earlier, when we were out on a walk that I thought you should know,” Harry began, fiddling nervously with his wedding ring. “He asked me if he was thick.” He glanced up, seeing Louis show no emotion at that revelation so he barrelled on, needing to get it out. “He said some older kid had said something to him about it because of the extra help he’s getting, and asked if being dyslexic meant he was stupid, that his brain didn’t work right.”

“Fuck,” Louis muttered, rubbing his hands over his tired looking face. “Did he get upset?”

“He cried a little,” Harry said, scooting closer to Louis, taking his hand before Louis could pull it away again. “I think I talked him round-”

“And I couldn’t?” Louis said suddenly, eyes dark and full of something Harry didn't recognise. “I know all this is my fault Harry, but I could’ve talked to our son as well, you know.”

“I- I’m not saying you couldn’t Lou, not at all. Just… I was there and it made sense for me to say something?” He quietened for a moment, letting Louis’ words sink in. “Hang on, what do you mean this is all your fault?”

“It is,” Louis said with a shrug, the upset expression now on his features marring his indifferent comment. “Maybe if I didn't work so much when Jake was little, maybe if I was around more helping him, this wouldn’t have happened, and he’d be okay. Anyway, it doesn’t fucking matter-”

“Louis, it does matter, and right now you know, you’re talking bollocks. Dyslexia isn’t something that just happens 'cause you don’t spend time with your kid or whatever. There was nothing you could have done to change this, it’s how Jake is and that’s it. End of. I don’t care either way, and you really shouldn’t be blaming yourself.”

“Harry, you don’t get it. You weren’t here then. I was constantly passing Jake around between my Mum, or Zayn or Stan when I worked all hours that I could get, trying to make ends meet. I had an evening job in Tesco staCking shelves while I worked in a nurseRy in the day time, getting experience so I could get into being a TA. When I got home, he was asleep or I was too tired to do anything except put him to bed and go to sleep myself. I was a shit dad and now-”

“Now nothing,” Harry said firmly, getting Louis’ attention as he was interrupted. “You weren’t a shit dad. You did what you had to do to earn money to raise your son, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I wish to fucking God I’d been here sooner than I was but I'm here now, and we’re going to help Jake together, okay?”

“Yeah, alright,” Louis mumbled, clearly still in his bad mood. “You won’t change my mind though, this is my fault.”

Harry sighed, squeezing Louis’ hand, willing him to squeeze back. “Babe, please. You’re the best dad I’ve ever seen, I promise. I love watching you with Jacob, and I can’t wait to have a baby with you, and watch you raise them as well. If I thought you were a shit dad, I wouldn’t want kids with you, and I do Louis, more than one if I’m honest. I want baby Tomlinson’s running around, I want to see our son become a big brother, I want to see you holding them and loving them, and-”

“Enough!” Louis said, stopping Harry in his tracks, his eyes wide at Louis’ outburst. “Just… let me get on with my work, okay?” Harry nodded and pushed back from the table, quietly leaving the room and joining Jacob on the sofa.

“Yu okay, Dad?” Jacob asked, perceptive as always. Harry nodded and leaned in, kissing his son on the head as the movie played loudly in front of him. Harry lost himself in his thoughts. He had no idea how to change Louis’ mind about Jacob and his dyslexia, and he was damned if he was going to let this bad mood between them fester any longer.

*****

A few days later, Harry was bundled up in his coat, waiting for Jacob to come out of choir. Louis had said he could collect Jacob, but Harry asked to, excited to hear from his son how their first after school rehearsal had gone. Harry had sent Louis a few texts throughout the day that had gone unanswered, so he’d gone to shops, buying everything to make Louis his favourite meal, desperate to make his husband smile again.

Things had only gotten worse at home since their talk at the weekend. Louis had withdrawn into himself even more, coming to bed long after Harry had gone upstairs, and Harry had been upset the first time he’d fallen asleep without Louis by his side, without his usual goodnight kiss. Louis had remained unbothered, and acted a bit like a zombie, going to work and coming home, repeating the same things, not indulging in any conversation with Harry or Jacob unless it was necessary.

Harry looked over as he heard the main doors opened, and went to call out as he spotted Louis coming out, but stopped himself when he saw Louis laughing loudly as a man approached behind him, laying a hand on Louis’ shoulder as they laughed together. Harry frowned, his brow furrowing as he watched on from a distance. Louis was chatting animatedly, much more so than he had with Harry over the past few weeks, and it hurt. Harry felt like a lead balloon had settled in his stomach, and he felt a bit nauseous.

The other man laughed loudly again, and this time, Louis patted his arm several times, bent over with laughter himself. Harry swallowed heavily, his breaths coming out in stutters, wondering what the hell was going on but his attention was drawn away when the classroom opened and Jacob barrelled into him, a wide smile on his little face.

“Dad! Wow, that was so much fun, they had someone on the piano and we learned new songs and..” Jacob carried on chatting as Harry grabbed his bags, heading for the car. When he turned around to look for Louis again, he was gone, and Harry sighed, trying to snap himself out of his reverie, pasting a smile on for Jacob.

They arrived home after a short drive and Harry opened the back door, letting Percy out to do his business in the garden. He picked up the shopping bags from the floor and started getting things ready for the dinner he wanted to make Louis. He’d bought a couple of expensive steaks, and was making homemade wedges he knew Louis loved, and was even making his own coleslaw for the side. Jacob sat at the table reading to Harry as he prepared the food, chopping and listening to his son, proud of how little he seemed to stumbling.

“Excellent work, love. Leave your reading journal there on the side and I’ll sign it after dinner, okay?” Jacob nodded and stood up, putting the book where Harry had instructed. “Do you want to go and play in your room for a bit? Dad will be home soon, then we can eat.”

“Okay, love you!” Jacob called, running off, Percy hot on his heels. Harry smield to himself as he started some music on his iPhone, the tunes playing lowly in the background. Harry heard the front door slam, indicating Louis was home, and he let out a breath, wondering whether to mention to Louis what he’d seen. He knew he had no need to be jealous but even so, he had to admit he hadn’t liked what he saw.

“Hi Lou,” Harry greeted Louis as he walked in, his eyes flicking over to his husband quickly, and then back to the cabbage he was shredding. “Had a good day?”

“Not really,” Louis said, turning the kettle on to prepare his usual post-work tea. “Want a cuppa?”

“No thanks. Um, I’m making your favourite tonight,” Harry said in a low voice, turning to Louis and smiling at him. “I got us some steaks, thought you deserved a treat.”

“Oh. I’m actually not that hungry but thanks, I might eat something,” Louis said, dunking his tea bag before he dropped it into the bin next to his feet. “I’m gonna go do some reading for work.” With that, Louis turned and left the kitchen with his cup of tea, a desolate Harry left in his wake. Harry bit back tears that were burning in his eyes, and turned back to the vegetables on the board in front of him, chopping wildly.

He honestly had no idea how to snap Louis out of his funk. It wasn’t a side of his husband he’d seen before, even since they were just dating, let alone married, and he hated it. He hated the tension constantly present in the house, and he missed the intimacy he so readily shared with his husband. It wasn’t even about sex at this point. Harry missed the small hugs, Louis wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist as he cooked, their goodnight kisses, Louis’ little touches as they watched Tv together.

Something felt wrong, and for the life of him, Harry had no idea what to do. He sensed talking to Louis about the guy he’d spotted him with only further upset his husband so he decided to bite his tongue, unable to push away the memories of Louis laughing and joking so easily with someone that wasn’t him. He pushed the knife down through a thick bit of cabbage, and swore loudly as the tip of blade sliced through the pad of index finger.

“Shit!”

He walked over and ran it under the tap, the water turning red with his blood as it washed away. He heard Louis step into the room, and a small part of him was pleased to see that Louis did care.

“What happened?” Louis asked, looking over Harry's shoulder and seeing the cut on his finger, spinning around to grab the first aid kit from the cupboard. Harry grabbed a piece of kitchen roll and held it tightly around his wound, sitting down in front of Louis who had the kit open and ready.

“Just got a bit rough with the knife,” Harry muttered, trying to ignore the throb of his finger as he held it tightly, watching Louis’ nimble fingers unwrapping a plaster. He shuddered as Louis took Harry’s hand in his own, pulling the kitchen paper away before he wrapped a plaster firmly around it, srewing up the rubbish in the bloody kitchen roll.

“Well, be more careful,” Louis chastised, closing the lid of the first aid kit and popping it back on the shelf. “Don’t like seeing you hurt.

“It’s just a cut, Lou,” Harry said, waving away his concern. “I’ll be fine. Dinner’s in about twenty minutes.” Instead of the kiss Harry was hoping for, Louis just left the room again silently, padding up the stairs, no doubt to their bedroom. Harry continued preparing dinner, serving it and calling out, Jacob thundering down the stairs. Louis didn't appear, so Harry called again, to no avail.

“Wait here love, I’m gonna go get Dad,” Harry said, hurrying up the stairs. He walked into their bedroom and was stunned to see Louis asleep, on top of the covers. His glasses were by his side, and Harry just sighed, flicking off the light and pulling the door closed behind him. Louis knew he was making his favourite dinner, but still, he’d fallen asleep. Harry pushed down the bubble of anger within him and returned to Jacob, chewing his steak that now felt like it had lost all its flavour.

He pushed his plate away, smiling tightly at his son. “I love these sausages Dad, thanks!” Jacob said, eating keenly, a far too large puddle of tomato sauce in the corner of his plate. “Are you not hungry?” His little forehead crinkled as he asked Harry the question, and Harry shook his head, a smile on his face.

“Nah, I’ll eat later,” he said, hoping that would pacify Jacob. Jacob finished off his dinner and downed the small bowl of ice-cream Harry made him for pudding, helping Harry put things away before he went upstairs, waiting for Harry to help him in the bath. Jacob liked to wash himself now, but Harry always liked to run the bath for him, not wanting Jacob to scald himself.

They laughed and chatted as Harry sat on the toilet seat lid, listening to Jacob talk again about choir as he sat in the hot water. When Jacob was done and Harry had helped him wash his hair, he left Jacob to change into his pyjamas, returning when the boy was in bed. They shared a few chapters of their bedtime story and Harry kissed him goodnight, flicking off the light as he left the room.

He hovered outside his and Louis’ bedroom door before he gathered the courage to walk inside. Louis had gotten changed, and was in bed in his pyjamas, still asleep. Harry’s heart ached as he started to get changed himself, trying to keep quiet so he wouldn’t disturb Louis. He did his teeth and climbed carefully between the sheets, reaching an arm over Louis who was facing him.

They laid there for a moment, Harry enjoying the feel of Louis in his arms until the air shifted. Louis rolled away pushing Harry’s arm off and he laid stunned, staring up into the darkness. He wasn’t sure if Louis was awake or not, but the rejection ran deep. Harry rolled too, his back to Louis as he shut his eyes, his pillow soon dampening under his face as he began to cry softly and quietly, heartbroken and feeling so alone.


	53. Just Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finds everything just too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank every single person who read and left a comment on the previous chapter. Never before have I had such a reaction to something I've posted, and I love that it moved you all, and prompted you to leave the amazing comments you did. Thank you. 
> 
> There has been an incredibly mixed reaction which I am really proud of, and am so interested to see your thoughts after this chapter. The next one won't be too far away, I promise. Thank you all so much. xx

“Well, be more careful,” Louis said to Harry, trying to ignore the look of hurt flashing across his husband’s face. “Don’t like seeing you hurt.” He pushed back from the table and tucked his chair in behind himself. Louis didn't look back as he left the room, not wanting Harry to see the tears burning in his eyes. He hated that he was being like this. He hated what he was doing to Harry, but he honestly didn't know how to pull himself back from it. His pit of despair was widening each day, and the deeper he fell inside, the harder it became to claw his way back out.

He entered their bedroom, closing the door with a quiet click behind him. Instead of picking up the text books he told Harry he would be reading, Louis laid down on the bed, resting his heavy head on the pillow. His glasses were digging in to the bridge of his nose so he removed them, setting them down next to him, curling up in a ball as if to protect himself from whatever it was threatening to overwhelm him.

He rolled over onto Harry’s pillow, inhaling the scent that was as familiar to him as his own by now. He sniffed, willing the tears threatening to spill back in, not wanting to break, knowing if he did, there would be no way back. He shut his eyes, reasoning with himself that he just needed five minutes to escape into his own mind before dinner, before he had to go downstairs and pretend again. Just five minutes…

 

**_October 2012_ **

“Do you need some help, love?” Louis asked, approaching the harrassed and upset looking mother hovering in front of the nappies he’d just stacked up. The shop was quiet, and he was sure his manager wouldn’t mind him taking five minutes to help out a woman clearly in distress. “Love? Are you alright?” He reached forwards and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, wanting to offer her some much needed comfort.

She looked up, tears falling as she shook her head. The baby in her arms was crying, red faced and her limbs were flailing, clearly very unhappy about something, and Louis couldn’t just leave them like this. He knew the feeling all too well, one of utter solitude and despair. He locked eyes with the woman for a second, trying to gain her trust.

“Can I…” Louis muttered, indicating to the baby. The woman just handed her screaming daughter over, and Louis jostled her around a little, getting her into a comfortable position, her little chest against Louis’, hoping his name badge _(Louis, part of the team for 4 months!)_ wasn’t causing the infant any trouble. The baby’s cries immediately started to subside, and Louis kept a gentle hand on her back, focusing his attention on the weeping woman.

“I’ve been there, you know. My son is six months old, and I’m on my own with him. It can be really hard when all they do is cry, and you just want to cry yourself.” He spotted a dummy thrown on the top of the woman’s bag in her trolley and grabbed it, running the teat over the baby girl’s mouth, smiling when it slipped inside, the baby sucking eagerly. “She’s a gorgeous girl, she really is. How old is she?” Louis looked up to see the woman wiping at her eyes with a soggy tissue, sniffing lightly.

“She’s four months,” she said in a soft voice. “She’s a colicy baby, and it’s just… it’s tough. She’s not sleeping, so I’m not sleeping and… yeah, it’s just a rough patch.”

“Been there myself, don’t worry,” Louis assured her, the baby against his chest starting to drift off now she was more comfortable. “It does get better, I promise you that. Can I give you a hand with your shopping? I’m happy to hold her for you while you get what you need, might keep her quiet?”

“But your job…” she started to protest, but Louis waved her off with his free hand. He glanced at the clock on the back wall, seeing it was actually time to clock off and head home to his own son, but he knew if he said that, there was no way the woman would accept his help at all.

“Hey, all part of the customer service experience,” he said with a grin, guiding the woman back to her trolley. “What’s first on the list then?”

Louis followed her up and down the aisles, the baby sleeping soundly by the time they reached the checkouts. Louis insisted on holding her while the woman loaded the bags into her trolley and trailed after her into the car park, carefully nestling the sleeping infant in her pink car seat, making quick work of the buckles before he stepped away, closing the car door quietly, waiting until her mother returned from putting the trolley in a nearby trolley park.

She stepped over and wrapped her arms around Louis’ shoulders, and he quickly hugged back, pulling back with a grin. “Thank you so much. You’re the first person who has shown me kindness in a long time. Most people just tut or roll their eyes and walk away. Thank you for being so kind.”

“You’re more than welcome, take care, love.” Louis waved as he walked back, cursing under his breath at the time. He was now very late, and Jacob would more than likely be asleep as he’d missed the late night feed. Jay wouldn’t be angry, she loved taking care of her only grandchild, but Louis just felt he was missing more and more of his baby son’s life.

He hurried back into Tesco and practically ran to the locker room, grabbing his bag and bolting to his car, driving the speed limit all the way home, wishing to be there quicker. He pulled onto the driveway and hopped out of the car, fishing his mums front door key out from his pocket, slipping inside the now open door, listening for any sign of his son being awake. There was none. His mum was slumped in her armchair, sound asleep with her head on her hands, and Louis sighed to himself, making his way up the stairs.

Jacob was in the spare room that had all but become his lately. His baby son was lying on his back, little hands either side of his head sound asleep. His body was wrapped up in a cosy light blue blanket, and Louis gently lifted him up, kissing his pudgy cheek, smelling the wonderful baby smell as he held him close. Jacob almost nuzzled in, his little hands grasping onto Louis’ shirt and with a smile, Louis carefully descended the staircase. He walked over and tapped his mum’s shoulder, disturbing her from her slumber.

“Mum, I’m home. I’m really sorry I’m late… I had something to do I couldn’t get out of. I’m gonna take Jake and go home, okay?”

“Alright love, are you okay? You look tired, you can stay here…”

“Nah, it’s fine. I need clean stuff for work tomorrow anyway, thanks though. Love you, thank you for looking after Jake.”

“Always a pleasure, darling, you know that. Bye love, drive safe.” Louis kissed her cheek and made sure Jacob was wrapped up warm as he headed out into the cold October night, carefully putting him in his car seat and making the short drive home.

Five minutes later, Louis was in the little blue nursery he and Zayn had decorated a week after Jacob had appeared on his doorstep, and his son was asleep again, his little lips sucking at a phantom bottle. Louis rested a hand on his little tummy, and looked down in wonder at the baby that was already so much like him.

“Love you, little man. More than you could ever know,” Louis whispered, heading for the door, leaving it ajar, making sure the baby monitor was on before he headed into his small bedroom. He pulled off his Tesco uniform, leaving it in a heap in the corner of the room, not really caring it would be a creased mess come morning. He collapsed into his bed, shoving his phone on charge before his heavy eyelids shut of their own volition, Louis sinking into a desperately needed deep sleep.

*****

“Lou, where is the powder?” Zayn called from the kitchen, a screeching Jacob in the bouncy chair on the kitchen floor. Louis just sighed and hollered back, hoping Zayn would hear him over the racket that was his crying son.

“In the cupboard above the kettle!”

“Got it, cheers mate, I’m nearly done!” Zayn replied, and Louis just sank further back into the sofa, his feet tucked underneath him, forehead throbbing with a dull ache he hadn’t been able to get rid of all day. Thankfully, Zayn had dropped by just when Louis was reaching his breaking point and made quick work of taking the little boy from his arms, talking to him as Louis wandered off, needing a few minutes peace.

Zayn walked back into the living room then, a hungry Jacob sucking eagerly from his bottle in his arms. His limbs had stopped flailing around, and, for what felt like the first time that day, he was quiet. Zayn gave him a small smile and sat in the armchair, letting silence reign over the house for a minute. Louis let his eyes flutter shut, trusting Zayn with his son implicitly. The next thing he knew, Zayn was shaking his shoulder, disturbing Louis from his slumber.

“Lou, I think we need to talk, mate.” Zayn had a look of concern on his face, and Louis looked up, knowing one more sympathetic word would make him break. “I won’t judge you, mate. I’m here for you.”

That was all that was needed. Louis let out a noisy sob and dropped his head into his hands, letting out the tears that had been bottling up for weeks, the much needed release purging him of the weight that had been such a burden for all too long. Zayn just settled next to him, an arm around him, holding him tightly as Louis cried it out, his sobs eventually subsiding to hiccups and sniffs, his breathing slowing down.

“Shit. I’m so sorry, I just… I don’t know what came over me,” he mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed of his emotional outburst.

“Don’t apologise,” Zayn hurried to say. Louis looked up at him with red eyes. “Lou, we all need someone, mate, and I’m happy to be that person for you. You know I’m here for you, and for Jake, whenever and whatever you need. Look… do you want me to take him for the night? You know I love having my little man over..”

“No, no, I can cope Zayn. It's not like I can't take care of my own child,” Louis said a little defensively, feeling like it was a slight, that Zayn was insinuating he couldn’t cope with his own son. “I’m just so tired, okay? I’ll be fine; I just need a sleep.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Zayn got his feet, patting Louis’ shoulder a couple of times as he grabbed his jacket from the armchair. “Jacob finished that bottle, and he was too tired for me to give him the jar you left out, so he might want that in a bit. He’s asleep in his cot now. Sleep while he sleeps, Lou. If you need me, I’m just at the end of the phone, okay?”

“Thank you,” Louis muttered, letting Zayn hug him for a moment, wishing he had someone special of his own that could hold him whenever he needed it. Wishing he just didn't have to do this alone. He cleared his throat and stood up straight, painting a smile onto his face. “Thanks for coming over, see you soon, yeah?” Zayn nodded and made his way out, leaving Louis alone again. Instead of sleeping, he flicked on the TV, leaving an old episode of Coronation Street on while he sat in the semi-darkness with his thoughts, trying not to let them consume him.

*****

“Thanks Maggie, he’s been a grumpy little sod the past few days, think he’s teething, his gums are so red,” Louis moaned, handing his grumpy baby over to the lady in charge of the baby room at the nursery where Louis worked. She grinned widely and bopped Jacob on the nose, the little boy squealing and batting his hands around at the cheerful face in front of him. “Why don’t I get smiles like that?”

“Oh, go on Mr Grumpy, I think Jane was looking for you,” Maggie laughed as she headed off, Jacob in her arms and his bag hanging from her shoulder.

As much as Louis loved his job at the nursery, it wasn’t exactly a calming, quiet one. He often came here in the morning with a tired and grumpy Jacob who had been up most of the night, and then he was thrown into a room with thirty toddlers, who, by definition, weren’t calm and quiet. He loved interacting with them, playing with them and teaching them, but it was wearing, and, quite often, he was exhausted.

That didn't even cover the financial drain it was on Louis’ finances. As a single dad, all of Jacob’s expenses, and his own, were on him, and he struggled some months to make ends meet. He was picking up extra shifts at his second job at Tesco to earn some extra money in the run up to Christmas, but still, it never seemed to be enough, always living the last few days before pay day on a tiny budget that frightened him if he thought about it too much. As Louis was a member of staff, he got reduced rates that allowed him to have Jacob at the nursery with him, but it was still a large portion of his wages each month that Louis could ill afford to lose.

However, Louis felt at this point in time it was the easiest way. His mum already took on a lot of the childcare burden when he was at Tesco in the evening, so he couldn’t expect her to take on his son during the day too. She was just getting some freedom back now his little sisters had started primary school, and he felt at the age of twenty-two, he should be standing on his own two feet, not relying on his Mum to solve his problems.

A little hand tugged at the hem of his shirt and he glanced down, smiling at the gappy grin being given to him by Jasmine, one of the little girls in the Sunflower room, where Louis often worked.

“Mister Lou, I painted good, come and see,” she said, taking his hand in her tiny one, stomping off in her little Dr Marten boots in the direction of the painting table. Louis hung back a little, keen not to get too close to the paint until he had an apron on, but clapped when she brought over a dripping piece of sugar paper, colourful squiggles all over it.

“Oh my goodness, that is a masterpiece,” he said eagerly, the little girl practically glowing from his praise. “Tell me all about it, love.”

“This is me as a princess, look, see my crown?” She pointed a little finger at a yellow splodge, and Louis nodded, a serious look on his face. “And this is my mummy, and she is the queen and daddy is the king of the whole wide world.” Her eyes widened as she told him that last nugget of information, and Louis held back a small laugh. “And we are all happy in princessland.”

“Well, that’s beautiful, well done. Shall I put it on the drying rack for you so you can take it home when Mummy picks you up later?” he asked, and she nodded, following him as he took the piece of paper from her, scribbling her name in the corner with a pencil he found before lifting it onto the wall mounted rack above another colourful painting.

“Thank you Mister Lou,” she said, hugging his leg quickly before she ran off in the direction of the playhouse, Louis watching her with fond eyes. He headed over to help clear up the spilled water on the painting table, chatting with a couple of other toddlers creating their own masterpieces, thinking what Jacob might be like when he got to this age. Would he like art, or music, or dressing up? Would he prefer running around outdoors, or sitting quietly with a book? If he was anything like his father, and Louis suspected he was, he would be the loud, rambunctious toddler that involved everyone around him in his activities, making everyone around him smile.

“Lou, you okay to cover the lunch club today?” Martin, one of the managers, called over, and Louis nodded, sighing inside. It was one of his most loathed jobs, but he knew everyone mucked in at Field of Flowers nursery. The rest of his shift passed quickly, and when it was time to go home, he grabbed his own bags and headed for the baby room, hearing a familiar wail coming from behind the wooden door.

He pushed his way through and saw Maggie trying to calm down a very red-faced and unhappy Jacob. “Oh god, what now?” Louis mumbled as he headed over, taking his son from his colleague. Louis held him up against his chest, usually a position Jacob liked but it was no good, Jacob wasn’t going to settle. “I’m just going to get him home,” Louis mumbled, quickly signing out and leaving, Jacob still propped up against his chest.

Louis wrestled him into his car seat and headed off, darkness already setting in. Louis remembered the clocks were going back that weekend, and while usually that would have made him happy with the prospect of an extra hour in bed, he knew that was an impossibility with a baby. Instead of turning off down his own road, he made a quick detour and a few minutes later, he came to a stop outside a dark black door.

The weather suited Louis’ mood somewhat. It had started to drizzle, the wind was biting and Louis’ hair blew around as he opened the back door, scooping out a still grizzling Jacob who was munching down on a teething toy Louis had grabbed the other night as he’d finished work, desperate to try anything to soothe his son’s sore gums. He picked up the baby bag, pulled Jacob into his chest and hurried up the path, banging on the door.

It flew open and Zayn stood there, gawping at his friend.

“I can’t… I can’t go home, Zayn. I can’t do it-” Zayn nodded and reached, taking Jacob from his arms and ushering the pair indoors, into the warm. Louis went gratefully, letting his best friend take charge of his son as he kicked off his damp Vans. He watched as Zayn effortlessly heated up a jar of baby food he kept in the cupboard for emergencies, setting the little boy’s bum on his thigh as he blew on a spoonful, putting it between his hungry little lips, making funny faces as he did so.

“Lou, go and lay down. I’ve got Jake. Go and chill. I know work’s hard right now, so let me help you. Go.” Louis just nodded and laid down on Zayn’s comfy sofa, pulling the blanket down from the back, covering himself in it. It was a few hours later that Zayn stirred him awake, a warm mug of tea in his hands.

“Talk.” That was all Zayn said, and Louis knew there was no point in arguing.

“It’s just a hard patch right now,” Louis explained, keen to make Zayn understand it wasn’t that he didn't love being a dad, because he did. He loved Jacob more than anything, loved waking up to his little face, loved watching him in the bath kicking his little arms and legs, exploring the water around him, loved reading him stories as he fell asleep. Right now, it was just hard, and doing it alone made it even harder. He had no-one to switch with when his bones ached with tiredness, when Jacob had screamed for two hours straight at three am, or when he’d finished his shift at the nursery and had another at Tesco two hours later.

“I love my son, Zayn. More than anything in the whole world, I’d die for him, you know that. Just this teething is a bit shitty; Jacob cries all the damn time and nothing seems to soothe him. When he’s happy, it’s all good. We had a lovely time when he was in the bath last night, he babbled away… I swear he’s gonna say dada soon, I can feel it-” Louis could feel a huge smile cross his face at the thought, the idea of hearing the name come from his son’s lips filled his heart with such joy.

“I just… Faye just left me to it. She didn't think twice about how hard it would be, you know? And I’m on my own. I love my boy. I love raising him, I promise, but I just.. I wish I wasn’t so alone, you know?”

“You’re not alone, Lou,” Zayn replied, a frown on his handsome face. “You have me, your mum, Stan…”

“It’s not- not the same. I want someone who wants to share their life with me, to wake up with me in the middle of the night, to lay a hand on me and tell me they’ll get it, that I can go back to sleep. I want cuddles and kisses Zayn. I haven’t had sex in a year. I miss… intimacy, I miss being in a relationship. I feel I should get used to this because really, who is going to want to take on me with a kid, you know-”

“Plenty of people, Louis. Stop being on such a downer,” Zayn insisted, keen to snap his friend out of it. “I know this time is shit. I can see you’re knackered, but you won’t let me or your mum help you. You’re too damn proud. It isn’t a weakness to ask for help, not from us. And you will find someone. Whoever he or she is, they’re out there waiting for you, and you’ll find them when the time is right, I promise you. You’ll find your happy-ever-after, Lou.”

“I hope so,” Louis mumbled, his fingers fiddling with the corner of the soft blanket in his lap. He went to move, but Zayn pressed him back onto the sofa, a stern look on his face.

“No way. Now, you’re gonna listen to me, Louis Tomlinson. You are staying here tonight. I will be getting up with Jacob - no, don’t argue with me. It’s Saturday tomorrow, you can lay in. You can take the sofa, Jake can come upstairs with me. Let me help you.”

“Okay,” Louis replied meekly, nodding along to Zayn’s words, secretly relieved his friend was taking charge. He smiled shyly as Zayn bent down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head in a fatherly sort of manner. “Thank you, Zayn. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“I do,” Zayn nodded at him. “I really do Louis, which is why I want to do it for you. Goodnight mate, see you tomorrow.”

“Night, Z,” Louis yawned out his reply, tiredness setting into his weary bones. “Thanks again.” Louis let his eyes shut, and for once managed a nearly ten hour sleep, and felt like all his Christmases had come at once.

*****

“I’m back!” Louis called as he stepped into Zayn’s hallway, a bag of fresh clothes hanging from his hand. He stepped into the living room and grinned widely at the sight of his happy baby clapping his hands at the sight of him, squealing excitedly. “Oh, hello champ! Someone’s in a good mood today...” Louis reached out and scooped Jacob up, the little boy’s hands immediately coming up to his face as they always did, so Louis ducked in and kissed his little lips, laughing at Jacob’s squealing again.

“You feel better now you’ve had a shower and a change of clothes?” Zayn asked from where he was laid on the floor surrounded by baby toys. “He’s been an angel, by the way.”

“That’s cos you are an angel, aren’t you?” Louis said, lifting Jacob up under his arms and nuzzling his baby belly, making his son laugh loudly, that gorgeous baby chuckle Louis could never get enough of. “Seriously, mate. I feel like a new man after that sleep. Thanks for that.”

“Anytime, you know I mean that,” Zayn called from the floor, rolling onto his tummy. Louis stepped over and plonked Jacob on his back, the little boy quickly crawling up and grabbing fistfuls of Zayn’s hair, much to Louis’ amusement. He set his bag down and pulled out some clean trousers and a jumper for Jacob, along with a clean nappy and some wipes.

“Come here, you little rascal,” Louis said, finally rescuing Zayn from his predicament. Jacob started to whine at being on his back, far preferring to be on the move than stuck on his back. Louis trapped him between his legs as he made fast work of changing the wriggly baby, throwing him in the air a few times afterwards, drawing many belly laughs from his son. “God, I love you, Jake,” he mumbled against his belly, rubbing his nose against the soft cotton of his mint green jumper Jay had bought him the other week.

“Looking smart,” Zayn commented, getting to his feet at last. “Want a cuppa before you head off?”

“Nah, I think we’re gonna make the most of the sunny morning and head to the park now before it starts to rain,” Louis replied, hoping Zayn wouldn’t be too upset.

“No worries, I’ve got a load of prep to do for next week anyway. Wanna leave your car here if you’re walking?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Louis said, getting to his own feet and settling Jacob on his hip. “I’ll grab it later on. Thank you again, you’re a star.”

“If you need me to do it again, just call,” Zayn said sternly, keen to make Louis understand he was there for him whenever he needed him. “Have fun. Bye little dude, be good for your daddy!” Jacob laughed and grabbed for Zayn’s hair again as he bent down to kiss his chubby cheek. “Bye mate.”

Louis waved as he headed outside, slipping Jacob into the pushchair he’d set up outside Zayn’s front door, strapping Jacob in. He popped a little grey woolly beanie onto his son’s head and a blanket over his lap, tucking his coat into the basket underneath. The sun was blazing down and the walk to the park wasn’t too long, so he figured Jacob would be warm enough. His hands wrapped around the black foam coated handles, chatting away to his son as they walked to the park, smiling at an older couple as he walked past, Jacob babbling away.

Louis paused as one of his son’s socks landed on the floor, and he scooped it up, tucking it into his pocket before he made his way through the gates, heading over to the toddler area of the park. Jacob wasn’t yet on the move so there was no chance of him escaping, but there was a soft floor, and his son wasn’t likely to get battered by a rogue football in there.

Once inside, he put the brakes on the pushchair and got onto his knees, unclipping Jacob from the seat and sitting him on the ground between his own thighs, putting a ball and a few of Jacob’s other favourite toys next to him. He picked his son up and sat him on his thigh, pointing out some of the things he could see around him, always keen to educate Jacob on the world around him.

“Look at those big white clouds. They look all soft like candyfloss, don’t they? When you go on an aeroplane, you fly above the clouds, and it’s like a new world up there. One day, we’ll go on holiday somewhere special, just you and me. We’ll go somewhere sunny, and swim in the sea, and make sandcastles, and eat ice-cream until we’re sick.” Louis chuckled at the thought.

“Let’s see if you can pass me the ball. Can you give Daddy the ball, Jacob? Roll the ball to Daddy.” Louis shuffled a couple of paces away and rolled the ball towards his little boy, who squealed with joy as the ball bumped into his little thigh. He took in his chubby hands, automatically shoving it in his mouth. “No, that’s dirty, love! Roll it to Daddy, back to Daddy!” Louis clapped his hands and held them out, hoping Jacob would get the hint.

He did, and although it rolled in the wrong direction, Louis cheered like he’d done something amazing, a wide gummy grin crossing his son’s face, his vivid blue eyes shining in the sunlight. “Clever boy- oh, hello, who are you?” he asked a little girl who had crawled over, her hands on his thigh as she struggled to her feet. “Want to play with us?”

The little girl wobbled on her feet for a minute as she got her balance, then reached out for the ball, Louis passing it to her gently. “Can you throw it to Jacob?” He pointed at his son as he said the words, the little girl giving him a little grin, a couple of teeth poking through her gum. “Can you roll it?”

She did, and immediately chased after it, Jacob watching on in interest at how the little girl was using her feet to get around. He reached out and grabbed his own barefoot, looking at it before he bent over, shoving it in his mouth, making Louis laugh loudly.

“No you silly sausage! Your feet are for walking, not eating!” Louis crawled and removed Jacob’s foot, wiping it down before he shoved his sock back on. He felt the little girl’s hand on his arm again, the ball rolling away. “Oops, we’d better go and get it,” he said, hopping to his feet and running to grab the ball before returning to his son.

“Oh, I’m so sorry she’s bothering you,” came a flustered voice. Louis turned in the direction and sent the older woman a smile, trying to tell her he didn't mind in the slightest. “She’s like a pocket rocket, I swear it. I turned around, and she was off. She likes babies, and I think she spotted your son…”

“Don’t worry about it, we were having fun with the ball, weren’t we, love?” Louis said cheerfully, directing his question to the little girl whose face had lit up at the sight of the woman. “She’s fine, honestly.”

“Oh, thank you,” the woman, sitting down on the floor near Jacob, waving at him. He clapped his hands, holding them out. “Can I hold him?”

“Sure,” Louis said, knowing his son was a sociable baby who loved attention. “What’s her name?”

“Beth,” the woman said. “Her mum is at work today, so it’s Nanny’s turn for some fun, isn’t it?” Beth nodded, taking the ball from Louis’ hands and running a few steps away before trying to throw it back to him. The game continued in that fashion for a few minutes, Jacob still mesmerised on the older woman’s lap, playing with the chunky beads of her necklace. “He’s adorable, how old is he?”

“He’s just over six months, teething though, so the nights are _really_ fun,” he moaned, the woman nodded knowingly. “But he’s a joy most of the time, if I’m honest. I love having him.”

“Is his mum at work, too?” the lady enquired, causing Louis to swallow heavily. He hated being asked this question, that everyone assumed Jacob must have a mum out there somewhere who loved him and cared for him.

“Actually, it’s just me and Jake,” Louis answered, smiling and thanking the little girl for the ball which he rolled away again. “It’s always just been me and him, and we’re quite happy like that.”

“I bet you are, you’ve got a lovely daddy, haven’t you?” the woman cooed, bopping Jacob on the nose, the little boy’s eyes crossing slightly as he followed the movement of her finger. Louis chuckled at the sight, tilting his head back slightly, letting the sun warm his skin. “No one special in your life then?”

“Just Jacob,” he answered honestly, a soft smile on his face. Beth came toddling back over and sat down next to Jacob, taking the baby’s little hand in her own. Jacob looked thoughtfully at her, like he was trying to puzzle out exactly who or what she was, and Louis watched on with amusement in his eyes. “Happy with that, though. I’m sure someone will come along eventually. Maybe.”

“Love comes when you least expect it,” the woman spoke cryptically. “The right person for you will come into your life and turn everything upside-down, and love you like you deserve to be loved, you and your little boy.”

Louis blushed at the thought, his gaze dropping to the floor beneath him. “Yeah, I hope so. They’ll have to love my son, though, and I think that’s going to be hard to find. I want someone who can love both of us.”

“You’ll find them,” she replied, a small smile on her face. “It was great speaking with you, Louis, but I really need to get this little madam home before her daddy comes to pick her for lunch. It was lovely to meet you, dear.”

“And you,” Louis called, waving over at Beth who was sending him a toddler wave. “Bye Beth, thanks for playing ball with me!”

“Bye bye!” she called, and Jacob started to whimper, sensing his new friends were leaving. Louis picked him up, holding him close as he watched the pair walk off, hand in hand, already excited for the day he could walk next to Jacob like that.

“So, Mr Jacob Tomlinson. What shall we do next?” Louis held him as he wandered around the park, naming things out loud, so Jacob could begin to associate the names of things with the object. “How about the slide?” Louis climbed up the steps and settled at the top, perching Jacob on his thighs, an arm tightly around his little waist. “Are you ready? And go! Wheeee!” Jacob screamed as he slid down the slide, laughing as they came to a stop.

Louis hurriedly turned him around and grinned widely, leaning in and rubbing their noses quickly. “I love you, Jacob. So very much. Sorry I’ve been a grumpy daddy lately. I’m going to try and ask Uncle Zayn for more help, and smile lots more around you, I promise. Now, shall we do the slide again?”

Jacob’s squeal of excitement said it all, and Louis ascended the steps once more, Jacob arching back to look into his Daddy’s eyes.

“And… go!”

*****

**_Present Day_ **

Louis startled awake thanks to the sound of a car closing door outside their bedroom window. He blinked wearily and stretched his body, eyes aching even in the darkness. He glanced over, and he could see Harry’s sleeping form, although, unusually, he was facing away from him. Usually, they slept wrapped around each other, and he had to admit he missed the warmth of Harry’s body.

Realising he wasn’t going to get back to sleep any time soon, he swung his legs out of bed, setting his feet down on the floor. He grabbed his glasses and put them on his face, quietly padding out of the bedroom, hoping he wouldn’t wake Harry from his sleep. He peered into Jacob’s bedroom and went over, kissing his son’s slightly sweaty cheek before he left again, creeping down the stairs.

He flicked on one of the lamps in their living room and headed into the kitchen, preparing himself a cup of tea before he settled back on the sofa, draping a blanket across his lap. He didn't bother switching the TV on, preferring to sit in the semi-darkness, just sipping on his comforting cup of tea.

He looked around, smiling at the sight of Jacob’s schoolwork on the coffee table, his sleeping puppy in his bed in the corner of the room and the array of photos scattered around. One particular frame caught his eye, and he got to his feet, grabbing it before he sat back down, staring at the image inside the frame.

He could feel tears falling down his cheeks as he looked at it, memories of possibly the best and happiest day of his life filling his mind. It was a photo of he and Harry on their wedding day. He couldn’t remember who had taken it, but whoever it was had captured such a tender moment between the pair. Louis was facing Harry, his hands on Harry’s chest, and Harry’s were around Louis’ hips. Harry was looking down into Louis’ eyes with what Louis could only describe as a look of absolute love and devotion, and he bit his lip, trying to distract himself from his tears.

It had been an amazing day, the day he’d married Harry. He remembered all those years ago, wondering if he would ever find someone who would love him and his son, and he’d been lucky enough to find that in Harry Styles. He’d taken on Louis and his son, had loved them both so much, and had treated them as if they were his own world. Louis just loved him so much, so much his heart wanted to burst with it at times, and the realisation of what he was doing to Harry just hurt, but at the same time, he didn't know how to be any other way.

Surely Harry hated him for what he was doing. He must hate him for not having helped Jacob with his dyslexia earlier; he must hate him for treating him like he didn't matter. Louis finally had what he always wanted, and it was slipping through his fingers. Louis was losing the one person who made his world complete, who was the other half of his whole, who was absolutely everything to him, and he felt powerless to stop it. Louis had never been so afraid. He closed his eyes and wept. Wept for everything he had, and everything he was about to lose. Harry could never see him like this. He couldn’t see him crumble. Louis knew that Harry wouldn't love him anymore if he did. Who could love weakness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 54 is coming on Friday.


	54. Heavy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry hit rock bottom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from the song this chapter title is named after that I feel apply to Louis:  
>  _I'm holding on_  
>  _Why is everything so heavy?_  
>  _Holding on_  
>  _So much more than I can carry_  
>  _I keep dragging around what's bringing me down_  
>  _If I just let go, I'd be set free_  
>  _Holding on_  
>  _Why is everything so heavy?_
> 
> I'm sorry for this, but thank you for all your kind words on the last chapter, and on Twitter. I've been totally blown away by everything you've all said.

It had been two days since Louis had gone to bed before dinner, and things were no better between the pair. They still went to bed without clearing the air, and Harry hadn’t initiated any kind of contact with Louis since then, not even a kiss goodnight or good morning, something that was unheard for the usually tactile pair. It was breaking his heart, but he could sense Louis didn't want him anywhere at the moment, and he was determined to give his husband what he wanted, no matter how awful it made him feel inside.

They tried to put on a brave face in front of Jacob. Over breakfast and other shared meals, they were unfailing polite to each other, sending tight smiles across the table, calling each other nicely when they needed to switch and kiss Jacob goodnight, or arrange pick ups and drop offs. They were sure the little boy hadn’t spotted anything was amiss between the pair, and that was the only positive thing Harry was taking from the entire situation at the moment.

“Bye Jake, love you! Bye Lou…” he called, waving at the pair as Louis sped off in the Audi, heading to work. Jacob’s little face grinned at him from the window, and Harry smiled back, waving at him until the car turned the corner, leaving Harry alone in the house once more. Percy was already back in his basket having a nap, and Harry sighed. He trudged into the kitchen and began to clear up the breakfast things, loading the dishwasher before he went upstairs, deciding to make the beds.

He made his and Louis’ bed quite quickly, deciding at the last minute to change the sheets and duvet cover. Usually, they changed the sheets several times a week thanks to the fact they were usually very sexually active and often made a mess of them, but it had now been over a month since they’d had sex. Harry was sad at the fact he only had to change the bedding once a week, and was really missing intimacy with his husband. Even just a kiss would have been better than nothing, but he couldn’t see anything like in the near future, not with the way things were between them currently.

He left the room after folding and putting away a few of Louis’ clothes, heading for Jacob’s room. The boy’s room was a tip as usual, his floor scattered with the toys he’d been playing with that morning, and Harry got onto his knees, gathering the things into a neat pile, knowing his son wouldn’t want them put away, probably intending to come home from school and play with them again. He smiled to himself at the line of teddies on his pillow and put them on the floor, ready to make the bed, which he did quickly. He turned around to exit and stumbled on a toy car he’d missed, his hip bashing against the desk, a pile of papers fluttering to the ground.

“Fuck…” Harry muttered, rubbing his hip, already seeing a small bruise form on his pale skin where the wood had bumped him. He crouched down, gathering the papers up, hoping Jacob wouldn’t be too annoyed his things had been disturbed. The piece of paper second from the top caught his eye, and he gently pulled it out, sitting in the little desk chair in front of him, reading the words on the page.

It was what looked like a little letter to him and Louis that Jacob had written but folded in half, clearly not having worked up the courage to give it to them yet, or maybe he’d decided not bother. Harry felt tears welling in his eyes as he read the words in his son’s scrawl, his heart aching at the thought his son had known all along things weren’t well between his parents.

_To Daddy and Dad_

_Please can you mayke up and bee in lov agen? It maykes me sad wen you argyoo and I want us all to be happy agen. I love you  you ar the bestist dads in the hole werld._

_Love from Jacob XXXXX_

Harry laid the piece of paper out, snapping a photo of it on his phone before he slid it back to where he’d found it before, not wanting Jacob to know he had been snooping in his room. He opened the window slightly to let some fresh air in and headed back downstairs. The house felt too quiet without his boys, and Harry looked over to Percy who was now wandering around, looking longingly out to the garden.

Harry sighed and nodded, grabbing the lead from the hook by the back door. He realised he was going to have to talk to Louis later on about the state of their relationship, especially now he knew Jacob was fully aware things weren’t good between them. This couldn’t go on, Harry hated the atmosphere at home, and he was determined Jacob wasn’t going to be sad a moment longer.

“Come on then Percy, let’s have a walk, huh boy?” He laughed as the puppy dashed over, running circles around Harry’s socked feet for a moment, tongue lolling out of his mouth in excitement. “Someone’s excited to spend me time with me, yeah? At least you are, love. Off we go, love.” Harry opened the front door and shut it behind him with a thud, mind running with thoughts as he walked off with his puppy, wondering just what the hell he was going to do to heal his family.

*****

“Oh fuck,” Louis cursed lowly, dimming the headlights as he pulled into the driveway, the house almost shrouded in darkness. He knew Harry was awake as there was a sliver of light between the curtains of the window of their bedroom, and Louis winced when he saw the time on the dashboard. Nine pm. Usually, this wouldn’t be an issue, but he’d forgotten to call Harry and let him know he was going to be late, so he knew there was going to be an argument when he got in.

He closed the front door as quietly as he could behind him, knowing Jacob would be long asleep by now. He took his shoes off and set them down next to Harry’s boots instead of kicking them in the general direction as he usually would have done. He let his heavy work bag drop to the floor, and hung his coat on the hook, listening out for any sign of life in his home.

The downstairs level was pitch black, so he decided to forgo getting a drink and headed upstairs, deftly avoiding the creaky stair as he went. He paused outside Jacob’s bedroom door before he gently pushed it open. Jacob was on his back, mouth wide open as he slept easily, a teddy bear wrapped up in his little arms. Louis smiled softly at him, the little boy who was so much like him and headed over, bending down to kiss him softly, tucking the duvet back up and over his stomach.

He crept back out again, leaving the door open a crack and headed towards his bedroom. There was a light under the door, so he took a breath, pushing down the handle before he walked in, eyes flicking over to Harry who was laid on top of the covers in a t-shirt and boxers, not meeting Louis’ eyes.

“Um… I’m sorry I’m so late. I didn't realise the time, I was at Zayn’s-”

“Well, I’m sorry but that’s not good enough, Louis. You have a son and a husband who were sat here wondering where the fuck you were.” Louis jumped slightly at Harry’s cursing, something he didn't do in anger often, and he swallowed, deciding to stay quiet for a minute and let Harry have his say. “Not that you care, but I left your dinner on a plate in the fridge if you want to reheat it. Next time though, a bloody text wouldn’t kill you, surely? Or did you just forget about your family?”

Anger flooded Louis’ veins at Harry’s insinuation and he snapped back. “How could I possibly forget that, Harry? Not when you’re always fucking here, nagging at me and going on about one thing or another that I’m doing wrong. I don’t-”

“Oh, well I’m so sorry for actually giving a fuck about our family and our marriage, Louis. I’m sorry that I actually care-”

“For fucks sake, get off your high bloody horse, Harry. I said I was sorry, it was a mistake, I wouldn’t intentionally skip dinner with my family.”

“You know what, Louis? Before I would have agreed, that it wouldn’t be something you would do. But now? You’re so indifferent to everything, I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“Oh believe what you want, Harry. Nothing I can say will change your mind anyway-”

He was stunned as Harry got to his feet and strode towards the door, closing it behind him firmly enough that the sound filled the room, leaving a deathly silence behind him. Louis bit his lip for a moment, knowing he’d lost it at Harry yet again, over something ridiculous. He was in the wrong, and he knew that, so why was he blowing up at Harry for rightly berating him over his lateness? He sighed and yanked his jumper off over his head, throwing it to the floor and grabbing the t-shirt he’d slept in last night, pulling that on over his head and flopping down on the bed.

He laid on his back, hands clasped on his chest as he ran through the argument in his mind. He jumped again as the front door banged, and Louis shot to his feet, hurrying over to the window only to see Harry in a coat stalking off down the driveway. He had on an old pair of sweats and trainers, and it broke Louis’ heart to watch his husband walk away. He debated for a moment whether he should text him and apologise but he decided against it, figuring Harry probably needed some time to himself, and laid back down on the bed.

What felt like hours later, but was probably only around forty five minutes, Louis stirred from his half-sleep when he heard the front door close again, before he heard Harry quietly muttering something to Percy before he came up the stairs, not missing the creaky stair like Louis had done. Louis listened as Jacob’s door opened and soon, footsteps came down the hallway, their bedroom creaking open.

Louis was on his side, facing the window and he waited for Harry to speak, for him to say something, anything that would break this unbearable tension. Instead, he felt the bed dip where Harry laid down behind him, no words between the pair being exchanged at all. He could hear Harry’s heavy breaths telling him he wasn’t yet asleep, but Louis just pulled at the corner of his pillowcase, unable to get out the words he felt so desperate to say, too scared that they would fall on deaf ears.

He stayed there, unblinking, eyes open in the darkness as he heard Harry cough slightly. Louis sat up, not turning the light on, staring off into the distance. He took a deep breath, released it and began to speak.

“Harry, I just-”

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk to you right now, Louis. Go to sleep.”

Louis bit down on his bottom lip, nodding even though he knew Harry couldn’t see the action, not least because he was facing away from him. Louis shuffled back into his previous position, back to Harry, fingers clenching the cotton of his pillow case. Harry’s breaths soon evened out, Louis realising with a heavy heart his husband had fallen asleep, seemingly unbothered by their earlier argument. Louis sniffed, blinking back the tears stinging his eyes, burying his face into the pillow, so he wouldn’t wake Harry with his quiet sobs. His heart was breaking all over again. He’d lost Harry, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

*****

The next morning, Louis stepped quietly down the stairs, smiling to himself at the sound of Harry and Jacob singing along to something on the radio. He walked into the kitchen, kissing his son on the head as he gobbled up his strawberry jam toast, and watched Harry as he moved easily around their kitchen, preparing the lunchboxes for Louis and Jacob as he did every morning, no matter what. Louis’ heart felt warm at the fact Harry was still doing his despite their fight, and when they met eyes, he smiled, willing Harry to return it. He didn't, focusing his gaze back down on the sandwich he was creating for Jacob instead.

Louis sighed and stepped over to the toaster, popping in a couple of pieces of bread for himself, gathering the courage to speak.

“Um, do you want some toast, Harry?”

“Nope,” Harry said, shaking his head, curls bouncing as he did. “Jake, love, did you want a glass of milk?”

“Please, Dad,” the little boy replied, licking his sticky fingers until he got up and wandered over to the sink, washing them properly, Louis smiling at how grown up Jacob had been lately. “Percy woke me up last night,” Jacob blurted out, and Harry nodded, while Louis had a look of surprise on his face. He hadn’t heard anything, and realised that once again, he’d slept through what kerfuffle their puppy had made.

“Yep, he was upset again, love. But don’t worry, I came down and sorted him out. He looks happy enough now, right?” Jacob nodded at the puppy who was curled up in his basket, watching his family as they moved around each other in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I didn't hear him,” Louis muttered as he grabbed the butter from beside Harry, quickly coating his toast in a thin layer. “Please wake me up next time-”

“What’s the point? You never, ever hear him, Louis. It’s like you don’t give a damn, and I’m the one bringing this puppy up all by damn myself.” Harry slammed Louis’ lunchbox down on the side, and Jacob slipped out of the room, the movement noticed by both Harry and Louis.

“The point is that maybe you wouldn’t be such a bear with a sore head if you let me help out,” Louis bit back, feeling fed up of Harry pointing out yet another thing he was apparently doing wrong. He bit down on his toast quickly, the bread tasting bland in his mouth. He didn't bother with the rest, turning and dumping it in the silver bin just behind him. “I see you didn't put my Nutella on the shopping list, thanks for that…”

“Are you kidding me right now? You’re having a go at me over a fucking jar of Nutella when you’ve barely spoken to me in nearly a week, Louis? I have seriously had enough of this- whatever this shit between us is, we need to sort this out.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis mumbled under his breath, not wanting to have this conversation right now. He headed for the door, missing the sight of Percy getting up at the same time. Louis’ foot caught under the puppy, and he stumbled heavily, bumping into the counter as he came to a stop. “For fucks sakes!” he yelled, Percy darting off out of the room. “Stupid bloody dog always getting under my feet-”

“Don’t you bloody shout at him, how dare you?!” Harry hollered back, red cheeked and clearly angry, a sight Louis hadn’t really seen before. “Your shitty mood is not his fault, Louis. He’s a damn puppy; he didn't intentionally trip you up.”

“You know what, I don’t have the energy for this right now, Harry-”

“No, you don’t have any energy for me or Jacob lately, do you?” Harry spat out, staring intently at Louis, something dark and dangerous bubbling between them now. Louis shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, not breaking Harry’s gaze, determined not to back down. “It’s like we don’t exist for you at the moment…”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Louis rumbled out in a low voice, blinded by anger. He kind of got how Harry could feel that way, but that wasn’t the point. He wanted to keep pushing him, to give him a goddamned reason to leave. He didn’t deserve Harry, and, to be honest, he was tired of feeling like this. “You know what? I don’t even care right now.”

“No, you really don’t! Just run away like you usually do, Louis. Go and find your new boyfriend, maybe you’ll actually talk to him and tell him what the fuck is going on with you-”

“Boyfriend?” he asked, utter confusion flooding his features. “What the hell are you talking about, Harry? Last time I checked, we were married...”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. But I saw you Louis, at school… touching him… It made me feel sick.” There were two red spots high on Harry’s cheeks, and Louis racked his brains, desperately trying to think what Harry could have seen before it dawned on him.

“Oh for fucks sakes!” Louis started, exasperated at Harry’s accusation. He knew he’d been a distant dick lately, but surely Harry couldn’t believe that he would actually cheat on him. He could feel the anger flooding his veins, his defences rising. “Harry, that was Lee, he’s one of the parents at school, I’ve known him since Jake was about four… you seriously thought that I-”

“Well, I don’t know, do I? I don’t know you at the moment, Louis. It feels like you're a different person. That you're on a different planet and not with us. You’re… you’re not the man I married right now.”

“Don’t be stupid, Harry-”

“Do _not_ call me stupid.” Harry’s voice was low and full of something Louis didn't recognise.

“Then don’t keep acting like it,” Louis bit back, almost regretting his words immediately.

He swallowed and stepped away, hurrying off until he was stood at the bottom of the stairs, hollering at the top of his lungs. “Jacob! Get your backside here now, we’re leaving!”

“But Daddy-”

“No, now!” Louis shouted. Jacob ran down and picked his rucksack up off the floor silently, sending Harry a worried look, wrapping his arms around his dad’s neck, the pair whispering something to each other, Jacob kissing Harry’s cheek.

“Bye Dad,” Jacob called as Louis hurried him out of the front door. “Oh, I forgot my PE bag…” He stopped and turned around, Louis following as he waited by the front door, catching the tail end of what Jacob was saying to his dad.

“-please don’t stop loving Daddy. I know he’s being silly, but he doesn’t mean it.”

“I won’t, darling. Have a good day, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too, bye Dad,” Jacob said, and Louis peered inside, locking gazes with Harry, stunned to see Harry’s eyes glassy with tears, and he just blinked before turning away, heading back to the car, throwing his bag onto the passenger seat.

“You belted in?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Jacob said quietly, and Louis put the car into reverse, backing up down the driveway, not looking back at Harry who was still stood on the doorstep, silent tears falling. Louis felt sick - Harry had lied to Jacob. He would stop loving Louis; he probably already had, if he was honest with himself. Louis couldn’t stop the toxic thoughts running through his mind as he wove the car in and out of traffic. After all, how could Harry actually love someone like him? All he knows is that he doesn’t deserve Harry’s love, and that thought weighed far too heavily on his mind.

*****

Harry locked the car behind him, Louis and Jacob’s lunchboxes clutched tightly in his free hand. He had noticed them still sat on the worktop after their fight, when he’d gone back inside and wept on the sofa, Percy quickly curling up on his lap, trying to offer some of comfort as if he sensed Harry’s distress. Harry had cried for a long time, until his eyes were raw, and his throat hurt from the sounds that were pouring out of him.

He headed into the school, buzzing at the school gates to be let in. The gate clunked and Harry walked in, trying to make sure he didn't look like he’d spent the morning in tears, plastering a small smile onto his face as he went inside, smiling at the older lady sat behind the desk, someone he’d spoken to a lot since he’d been more of a presence at the school.

“Hiya Linda, how are you?” he asked politely, setting the lunches down on the side.

“Hello, Harry. I’m very well, thank you. How are you?”

“Not too bad,” Harry said, not wanting to lie to the woman. “Um, Lou and Jacob forgot their lunches this morning, so I thought I’d better drop them in. You know what they’re like if they get hungry.” She laughed and nodded, taking them from him. “Would you… would you mind popping in and seeing if Louis can come and see me for a second?”

“Of course, love, hold on there,” she said, heading back through the door to her office, disappearing for a second. Harry wandered over to where there was a board full of photographs, showing all the staff that worked in the school. Harry’s eyes raked over it until he came to the photo of his husband. Louis was smiling widely, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunshine since the photo was clearly taken outside on the school field. He had on a khaki shirt that Harry loved on him, and Harry took a deep breath in, trying not to cry again.

He heard a door behind him again, and Linda came to a stop behind the desk, an odd, unreadable expression on her face. “Harry? Erm.. Louis is a little busy at the moment, he can’t come and see you right now. I’m sorry, love.”

“Oh, um, that’s fine,” Harry stumbled over his words, face flooding with embarrassment. He didn't think Louis would reject seeing him here, and he could feel his cheeks flaming. He couldn’t meet Linda’s eye and grabbed his key from his pocket, turning it over and over in his hand as a distraction. “Can you make sure he and Jake get their lunches please?”

“I will do,” she said softly, clearly wanting to say more, so Harry hurried to leave, grabbing the door handle. “Bye, love.”

“Bye,” Harry muttered, slipping through the door, unable to stop the tears from flowing now. He hit the button allowing him to escape the other main door and practically ran down the road, all but jumping into the car, resting his head on the steering wheel and starting to cry again. His heart ached. He felt like he didn't know how to get through to Louis at all, like his husband was slipping further and further out of his reach. It was the most frustrating feeling, like trying to grip sand and being helpless when it slipped through your fingers. At this moment, Louis felt like a ghost to him. He could see him, hear him but he couldn’t quite reach him, couldn’t touch him.

He was scared. Everything had been going so well for them. They had had the perfect marriage for nearly a year, and now, everything was just falling apart, and he felt powerless to stop it. He sobbed at the thought of Louis leaving him, of watching him leave their home, taking his heart with him. He fumbled in his pocket for his phone, shaky fingers darting across the screen as he tapped out a message to the person he needed most right then, happy to get a swift response. He replied again and set the phone down, crying once more, fear settling deep within his bones.

 

 

 

*****

“Come on mate,” Zayn said, his arm around Louis’ shoulder, holding him close as Louis cried against him. He hated seeing his friend like this. It felt like it had been years since Louis used to turn up on his doorstep with a screaming baby, needing a break, needing some sort of help. Now he had Harry, those dark times were behind him or so Zayn had thought. He had no idea what was going on with Harry and Louis that was making his friend break down like this, but he knew he needed to get to the bottom of it.

“Lou… you need to talk to me, mate. I need to know what’s wrong if I’m gonna be able to help you-”

Louis vehemently shook his head, wiping at his tears on the sleeve of his jumper. “You can’t- can’t help me, Zayn,” he mumbled between sobs. “No-one can. I’ve- I’ve ruined everything and I’ve… I’ve lost him, Z..”

“I assume we’re talking about Harry?” Zayn questioned, determined to get something useful out of his friend one way or the other. “Has he done something wrong? Shall I call him?”

There was a soft knock at the door, and Louis shifted so his back was facing the door, Zayn’s eyes on it as it opened, Linda from reception peering in.

“Oh. I’m sorry to interrupt, gentlemen, but, um, Louis, your husband is at reception? He’s bought yours and Jacob’s lunches in, and he wondered if he could have a word?”

Zayn looked down, seeing how Louis was struggling to breathe at the moment and he shook his head at Linda, a serious expression on his face. “I don’t think now is the best time, love. Can you just tell him Lou is busy or something? Please?” She nodded, and Zayn mouthed thanks at her as she closed the door behind her, leaving them alone again.

“Thanks,” Louis choked out, clearing his throat, voice rough with tears. “I just… I can’t see him right now, Z. Not like this. He can’t see me like this.” He shook his head at the the thought of Harry seeing him so broken and sad.

“I get it,” Zayn said, worry filling his veins. “But Lou.. you need to talk to someone, whether it’s me, your Mum, or even Haz? He is your husband, love. You can’t keep bottling this up… I know you, remember?”

“I know, but I just can’t, Z, he hates me,” Louis whispered, shame flooding him. “I… I can’t.” He sighed and leaned back against Zayn, burying his head in the man’s chest, wishing more than anything it was Harry’s familiar body he was seeking comfort from, but right now, the possibility felt further away than ever. He’d ruined everything and he felt like there wasn’t any coming back from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 55 on Sunday, followed by 56 on Monday.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments.


	55. Beat of a Breaking Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crisis point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry. As always, thank you for the amazing feedback, it's been fascinating to read, I adore all of your comments.
> 
> _I can hear_  
>  The beat of a breaking heart  
> Soaking in tears but this time I’ve gone too far  
> And maybe tonight  
> I’ll fight not to fall apart  
> How are we here when it’s just the start?

Harry leant in, wrapping Anne in a tight hug. He’d spent the last few hours there, not exactly confessing everything about his marriage, just the fact he and Louis were fighting and how he was worried things were never going to get back to normal. Something was holding Harry back from telling his Mum just how bad things truly were, like if he admitted it aloud, then it would make it all too real.

“Thank you so much for letting me come over, Mum,” Harry said as he pulled away from the hug, smiling softly at his favourite woman in the world. “I just… just needed a change of scene, you know? Think Lou being too busy to see me just made me feel like shit, when I know he’s a busy guy at work, I shouldn’t have bothered him.”

“He’s your husband,” Anne reminded him gently, not wanting to push it but she was concerned. Harry never kept anything from her and she could sense there was more going on that what he had already told her. She did, however, know if that she pushed him too hard, he’d clam up and not come to her again when he really needed her. “You weren’t wrong in asking to see him, love, you know that. Right?”

“I do. Look, I’d better get going as I want to cook with Jacob tonight, try and make him smile a bit.”

“That sounds lovely,” she said with a smile, following Harry through the house and stopping in the hallway as he pulled on his boots. “If you need me, come over anytime, or just call, please? I’m always here for you. Love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Mum. Thank you. I’ll bring Jake over at the weekend with Percy?”

“Perfect. I’ll make a roast,” she grinned back, hugging her son once more. “Drive safe, okay? Bye, darling.”

“Bye Mum!” Harry jogged down the driveway, climbed into his car, and started the drive back to his home. He blasted some loud rock music all the way home to distract from the thoughts he didn't want whirring around his brain, and soon enough pulled up in front of his home, a little surprised to see Louis’ car already there. He got out and headed indoors, leaving his boots next to Louis’ work shoes, and Jacob’s school shoes, smiling at how they looked lined up next to each other.

He could hear laughter and headed through their home and stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. It was almost like he had turned the clock back - Louis was standing in a pair of jogging bottoms and one of Harry’s t-shirts, barefooted and laughing along with his son, who was stood on his blue plastic step, helping Louis with something at the stove. Percy was curled up in his basket with a teddy - it looked like the picture of family bliss.

“Uh oh…” Louis cried, bopping Jacob on the nose, smearing something across it, making Jacob scream loudly with laughter, prompting Harry to chuckle lowly. His noise must have drawn the attention of both boys as they looked over, Jacob grinning at his father.”

“Hey Dad! Me and Daddy are making food; we’re making cartalana!”

“Carbonara,” Louis chuckled, wiping at Jacob’s face with a piece of kitchen roll, so he could go and hug Harry. “Hey,” Louis said as he caught Harry’s eye.

“Hey,” Harry returned, catching Jacob as he ran at him, kissing the top of his head. “Sounds good, love. Had a good day?”

“Yeah! We did times tables again, and I did my 4’s today… they’re hard though. Mr Fox says if I practise hard, I can get it all next week. Will you help me?”

“Of course,” Harry said, setting the table as he could see dinner wouldn’t be too far off. It felt odd, the way they were all being. He was so used to the tension and silence that seeing Louis like this made him feel rather strange. Jacob continued to chat back and forth with both of his parents, seemingly not noticing neither of the men were actually talking to each other, instead focusing their conversations purely on Jacob.

“God, I’m hungry,” Louis said as he set the big dish in the middle of the table. He scooped out a few big spoons onto Harry’s plate before he handed it over, Harry thanking him with a small smile before he dished up Jacob’s much smaller portion and then, finally, his own. Harry grated some more cheese over everyone’s food and they all tucked in, silence reigning while everyone fed. “I needed this today,” Louis mumbled.

“Did you not get your lunch? I bought it in for you,” Harry asked, and Jacob nodded at that.

“I got mine, Dad! Thank you, I was worried I would have to go hungry, and Mr Fox said that wouldn’t happen and the school would have to give me a dinner anyway, but my packed lunch was much nicer than the poo they give us at school.” Harry sniggered into his forkful at that, not quite able to bring himself to tell the boy off since he always hated school dinners himself.

“I did, thank you, but I just wasn’t very hungry then,” Louis admitted, blowing on a forkful of pasta.

“Well, you were too busy to see me, so I guess you were too busy to eat as well,” Harry bit back as he ate more food, not seeing Jacob’s eyes flying back and forth between the two men, looking a little nervous as the tension started to reappear. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Harry, I’m busy. I’m not always at your beck and call, okay? I was with Zayn, and-”

“Oh right, time for Zayn, not for your husband, I get it-”

“No, you _really_ don’t get it-”

“STOP IT! STOP FIGHTING! I HATE IT, AND I HATE BOTH OF YOU!” Jacob shouted, leaving both of his parents open mouthed as he pushed back from the table and ran out of the room, little footsteps thudding on the stairs.

“Fucking great,” Harry mumbled, throwing his fork down onto his plate, pushing the half empty dish away from him. “I’ll go.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, trying to stop himself from saying something nasty to Louis. “This… this needs to stop, Louis.”

Louis just turned away, pushing away from the table himself now. “I’m going to walk Percy. You sort Jake out. I just… I can’t deal with that right now.”

“Typical,” Harry muttered under his breath as he trudged up the stairs, thinking about how Louis really didn't seem to want to deal with anything anymore as he came to a stop outside Jacob’s bedroom. He could hear the little boy inside crying his eyes out, and it made Harry’s heart hurt. He knocked his knuckles on the door gently before he walked inside. Jacob was stomach down on the bed, and his back was heaving with his cries. Harry sat down on the edge of the mattress and rubbed at Jacob’s back until his cries began to subside.

“Love… come here and give me a hug, please?” Jacob got up willingly and climbed into Harry’s lap, clinging onto him like a koala as Harry continued to comfort him. “Jacob, I’m really sorry about what happened downstairs. Me and Daddy are both very sorry you got upset, and that we ruined dinner. That wasn’t fair of us.”

“I hate when you fight,” Jacob admitted, wiping his eyes on Harry’s jumper. “It makes me sad, and then my belly feels all funny.” He sniffled, rubbing his belly at those words. “I….” He shut down again and Harry stroked his hair, pushing his locks back from his sweaty forehead. “I’m scared you don’t love Daddy anymore, and then you’re going to live in two houses like Amelia’s mummy and daddy and I don’t get to live with both of you anymore.”

Harry’s eyes filled with the tears at the boy’s honesty, at the realisation that Jacob was scared he was going to lose Harry if things continued as they were. “Look, Jacob… grown ups sometimes have silly fights, and sometimes we don’t talk about things properly. Daddy and I just... We are having a bit of a hard time at the moment, but I promise you, I still love your daddy, very, very much.”

“Does he still love you, too?” Jacob’s little eyes looked up at Harry with such sincerity, Harry knew he couldn’t lie, not to his son.

“I hope so,” he said softly, holding Jacob close again. “Daddy’s taken Percy out for a bit so we don’t argue anymore. Do you want to do something with me for a bit until he gets home?” Jacob nodded and hopped off Harry’s lap, grabbing a new puzzle Anne had given him a week or so ago.

“Can we do this?”

“Sure,” Harry smiled, getting down to the floor with Jacob. He watched as the little boy emptied the box and sent Harry a watery grin, clearly trying to make himself look happier than he felt, and the thought made Harry’s heart feel heavy. They sat for a while in silence, just completing the puzzle.

Harry jumped when Jacob’s bedroom door opened, and Louis walked in, taking a seat on the floor next to Jacob, looking at his son for a moment.

“Come here.” Louis held his arms open, and Jacob quickly crawled into them, his little arms looping around Louis’ neck. “Can I help you and Dad finish the puzzle?” Jacob nodded and sat back between his parents, the three working together to finish, Jacob cheering as they let him put the final piece into the jigsaw.

“Can we have a family hug?” Jacob asked once he’d gotten changed into his pyjamas. Harry looked to Louis whose face had gone pale again, and he watched his husband stand up.

“I’m sorry, Jake… I just… I can’t right now,” Louis mumbled, hugging his son quickly and darting from the room. Harry sighed and got to his feet, helping Jacob into bed. He pulled his covers up and kissed Jacob before he slipped out of the room, hoping Jacob would fall asleep quickly.

He padded his way downstairs and watched as Louis was hunched over the coffee table in the living, scribbling something down in the journal he knew Louis turned to at times. Louis must have sensed that he was being watched as he looked up and locked eyes with Harry for a moment, something in his eyes that Harry couldn’t quite read. Harry broke the stare, dropping his gaze to the floor as he hurried through to the kitchen, wanting to clean up after a dinner he’d much rather forget.

He’d never felt so far away from Louis. His own husband couldn’t bring himself to touch him, even for the sake of a hug that Jacob had asked for. Harry scrubbed angrily at the pan in the sink, pouring his anger into that movement in order to stop the words of frustration that were bubbling in his chest from erupting. The only thing he did know was that things had to change - their family simply couldn’t go on like this, and Harry wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

*****

A few days later, Harry took a deep breath and knocked on the wooden front door of Jay’s house. He would usually go on right on in after knocking, feeling more than comfortable at his mother-in-law’s house, but something felt different today. He shivered as he stood on the doorstep, hearing the familiar sounds from inside, drawing a small smile onto his face. Eventually, he could hear someone on the other side of the door and it swung open, revealing a smiling Jay.

“Harry! You know you can just come in, right? You’re family, love!” Harry gave her a tight smile and nodded, her comment leaving a pang in his chest. He stepped inside and kicked his boots off, leaving them on the floor next to Jacob’s little shoes. Jay had offered to pick Jacob up from school earlier on when Harry had been pulled into a late meeting with this management team, and Louis was working late. Jacob loved hanging out with his Nanny, so of course, there was no objections from anybody. “Can you come to the kitchen for a tick? Lottie’s reading with Jacob so he’s okay...”

Harry nodded and followed Jay through, waving at Dan who was lounging on an armchair with Ernest on his lap, Doris on the floor playing with a train as Fireman Sam played on the TV. Harry felt a little nervous about whatever it was Jay wanted to talk to him about, and he hovered anxiously, leaning against the worktop as she bustled around, making them both tea.

“Now, you can tell me to mind my own business, love, but is something the matter at home? With you and Lou, I mean? Jacob’s been really quiet since I picked him up, and he got tearful when I mentioned Louis earlier on, which isn’t like him. Are you two having an argument or something?”

Harry bit down on his lip, trying not to cry, but when Jay walked over and laid a gentle hand on his arm in a comforting gesture, Harry broke. His hands flew up to cover his face as he started to cry, and Jay’s eyes widened as she saw Harry sob like she’d never seen before. Dan appeared at the kitchen door and nodded towards Harry, closing the door behind him, Jay grateful her husband was so thoughtful. She stood and wrapped her arms around Harry for a minute, worried at the sudden breakdown of her usually strong son-in-law, and Harry just cried, everything finally becoming too much.

“Oh my darling, cry it out, sweetheart,” Jay whispered, stroking Harry’s hair. When his sobs started to die down slightly, she guided him over to the kitchen table, sitting him down before she grabbed a few pieces of kitchen roll, pushing them into Harry’s hand, so he could wipe his tears away. “Harry love, please talk to me, I’m really worried…”

Harry swallowed and cleared his throat, embarrassed at his outburst. “God, I’m so sorry- I didn't …” He took in a deep breath for a moment, steadying himself before he started to speak again. “I.. I don’t think Louis loves me anymore, Jay. I- I think he’s f-found someone else.” He sniffed and took in Jay’s shocked expression.

“Oh god, Harry… why didn't you come and talk to me or your mum? Louis loves you so much, I can’t believe he’d… oh god.” She reached out and took Harry’s hand, stroking the back of his with her thumb. “Talk to me. What on earth has been going on?”

“Well. He’s been off for a while, around the time we got Jake’s dyslexia diagnosis, actually. He just started pulling away, not talking to me, being snappy with me and Jake. I brushed it off, but it’s just got worse. He doesn’t… he doesn’t touch me anymore, we don’t hug or kiss. God, we haven’t sex in weeks. Sorry, but-”

“No, don’t apologise, we’re all adults, Harry. I had no idea things were this bad…”

“Yeah, we hide it well,” Harry said with a rueful smile, wiping his eyes again. “But yeah. We haven’t been… intimate, in a long time. He looks at me like he hates me, Jay, and I just- I don’t know what to do. If I lose him then-” he broke again, crying noisily, folding his arms and resting his forehead on them as Jay rubbed his back.

“If there’s anything I know, Harry, it’s that my son loves you. So very much. He’s never been happier than when he found you, and he’s so deeply in love with you. There’s no way he’s found someone else.”

“You didn't see him, Jay,” Harry said, eyes fixed on the wood grain on the table in front of him. “He hasn’t smiled at me in weeks, and then with this guy… shit. He was laughing and joking, touching his arm. I felt… it was like looking at Louis, how he used to be with me. It broke my heart, Jay.”

“He wouldn’t cheat on you, Harry. I promise you that. Louis loathes cheating, he just… he wouldn’t.”

“But-”

“No buts. I’ve never known my son to love anyone more than he loves you. And Harry… I know my son. Louis won’t talk until he’s good and ready, and even then you have to practically drag whatever’s wrong with him out of him. I’ve been there many times with him, trust me. You need to go home, and you need to talk to him.”

“But Jake-”

“Jake is fine here. We love having him, and to be honest, love, if the atmosphere is that bad, perhaps it’s best he stays here anyway? He doesn’t need to be around if you are two are arguing, and if you’re going to get Louis to talk, it might not be pretty.”

Harry sighed, sitting up straight, realising his mother-in-law was right. “Okay, yeah, thanks Jay, I’d appreciate that. I’m just gonna go see him before I go, though. And, um… thank you. For listening and understanding. I’m just sorry it’s taken me this long to admit there’s something badly wrong in my marriage.”

“My son can be a stubborn arse,” Jay admitted with a laugh. “But you’re the best thing that ever happened to him and Jacob, Harry, and I’m not just saying that. You make him happy, and you made him realise how special love is. Please… please just fight for him, Harry? Don’t give up on him..”

“I would never, I promise. I love him too much… he’s my everything, Jay. He makes my world a better place to be, and I wouldn’t want my life without him and our son in it.” There were tears in Jay’s eyes as Harry stepped over, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. He smiled slightly as he felt her arms envelop his waist, and he kissed the top of her head. “Love ya, Jay.”

“Love you too, love. Now go and see your boy, then go and talk some sense into mine.” Harry smiled and left the room, nodding as Dan sent him a questioning look, asking if he was okay. He ran up the stop and stopped outside Lottie’s room, hearing a familiar voice. He peered in and saw his son on Lottie’s lap, pointing out words he didn't know in his reading book, his auntie listening and helping patiently.

“Good job champ,” Harry said softly as Jacob finished his page, and his son’s face lit up. He scrambled to get up from Lottie’s lap, and he dove towards Harry, who grabbed him, holding him up against his body, shutting his eyes as he let Jacob’s warmth rush over him.

“I missed you, Dad,” Jacob mumbled against Harry’s neck, not relaxing the hug at all. “I was reading to Auntie Lottie, and she said my reading is getting so good.”

“It is, you’re getting so good. I’m so proud of you, so is Daddy,” Harry said, letting Jacob drop to the floor. Lottie smiled and kissed Harry’s cheek as she left the room, giving the pair some privacy. “Come here a second, love.”

Jacob came over and Harry lifted him up onto his leg, looking at his son. “Nanny said you’ve been a bit quiet, you okay?”

Jacob just shrugged and shut down a bit, and Harry realised how much like Louis Jacob really was when it came to emotions. He’d gotten much better since he’d been seeing his counsellor, but there were still some things he really had to force out of Jacob. He felt now though wasn’t the time, and he smiled, pulling him close for a hug again.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? I’m sure Auntie Lottie wouldn’t mind sharing with you.”

“Why don’t you want me to come home?” Jacob looked down at the floor, and Harry quickly tucked two fingers under Jacob’s chin, their eyes meeting.

“I do, love. Don’t think that. I just… I need to talk to Daddy tonight, to try and sort out what’s going on with us. I know you’re upset by how things are at home, and so am I. So Daddy and I need to have a little bit of private time to do that.” Jacob sat looking at Harry for a moment before he nodded.

“Okay. Um.. do you think Nanny and Dan will let me watch Big Hero 6?” Harry chuckled, pleased to see a little sparkle back in Jacob’s eyes.

“I’m sure they will, why don’t you come and ask? Maybe Lottie and Fizzy will sit with you.” Harry got up and took Jacob’s hand, the pair walking downstairs together. Jay easily agreed to the movie night, and promised Jacob could help her make some microwave popcorn too, which proved to be enough of a distraction for Jacob. Harry had never felt more grateful for his mother-in-law.

“I’m gonna get going, bye everyone, thanks Jay,” he called, and Jacob ran back over, hugging around Harry’s waist again. “Love you kiddo, so much. I’ll come and pick you up tomorrow morning, yeah? We could take Percy to the park together, practise his fetching?”

“Yay, I’d love that!” Jacob said, pressing a big kiss to Harry’s cheek. “Tell Daddy I love him very much, and I will see him tomorrow.” Harry nodded and grabbed his keys from the side table, shoving his feet into his boots.

“I will. Night love.” Harry slipped out of the door and got into his car, beginning the short drive home, back to where Louis would hopefully be waiting for him. This talk had been a long time coming, but Harry felt nervous. He’d never had to call Louis out on something before, and he felt sick as he thought of how Louis might react to the things Harry already knew he was going to say. But he knew that if he was going to save their marriage, this had to be done. Harry thought of a phrase he’d jotted down in his journal the other day. _If you have something worth fighting for, then fight for it._ Harry knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but his marriage was worth it. It had to be.

*****

Louis was singing to himself, a vinyl record playing on the turntable in the corner of their room. He was playing Joni Mitchell’s album _Both Sides Now,_ an album he felt summed up his feelings at that moment. He stopped as he heard the front door close, listening out for the sound of his son coming home, frowning when he heard nothing. Instead, one set of footsteps came up the stairs, and Louis realised that Harry was alone. He stayed where he was but stopped singing, waiting to see if Harry would bother coming into their room, or if he was just coming to use the bathroom.

There was a soft knock at the door and Louis felt a bit surprised at that, like Harry felt he needed permission or something to come in their bedroom.

“You can come in, you know, this is your bedroom, too.” The door creaked open, and as usual, Louis’ breath was taken away by how beautiful his husband looked, even in such a vulnerable state. It was obvious Harry had been crying for whatever reason; his eyes were red, his lips were swollen where he’d been biting on them as he did when he was anxious, and Louis swallowed, willing him to talk, to say something.

“Well, it hasn’t felt like our room for a while, Lou.” Louis’ heart skipped a beat at Harry so easily using the nickname he loved to hear. He watched as Harry stepped over to the turntable, lifting the needle, the music coming to a sudden stop. He set it down gently and turned to Louis, wringing his hands in front of him, a nervous expression on his face. Louis watched the bob of his Adam’s apple, waiting for whatever it was Harry had to say. “We need to talk, Louis.”

Louis sighed. “Harry, I’m not in the mood-”

“I don’t care.” Louis’ eyes flew open, meeting Harry’s gaze, surprised by Harry’s short tone. “We can’t keep carrying on like this. You know our son is a mess because of this? Jay said he’s been quiet and tearful, and that’s our fault. You know how sick that makes me feel? He’s staying there tonight because Jay said we need to talk, sort this out and she’s right.”

“Sort this out? You mean-”

“I mean, talk Louis. Until we sort this… whatever this shit is, out. Until we’ve either worked it out, worked through this, or…”

“Or what?”

“Or one of us leaves. If… I need to know if this is it, Louis. If our marriage is over.”

Louis felt sick. He’d been pushing Harry to this, there was no doubt about that but hearing the words come from his husband’s lips was a sickening reality. His breath was coming in short bursts, and he watched as Harry sat at the end of the bed, his body language closed off, and for once, Louis felt like his husband was out of reach.

“You need to be honest, Louis. I need… I need that from you. The truth.” Harry blinked rapidly, and Louis noticed the tears gathering in the corners of Harry’s eyes, the way he was turning his wedding band round and round his finger. When Harry started to speak, his voice was low and laden with tears. “Are you cheating on me, Louis? Is there some- someone else?”

Louis just stared, unable to believe Harry was asking this as a genuine question. “Is this about Lee? The guy you saw me with at school? Because I… no, Harry. God, no. I would… I would _never_ do that to you, not ever. No matter how shit things get, I wouldn’t cheat. I… just… no.”

Louis could see his hands starting to shake in his lap and he sat up, reaching out before he snatched his hand back, not sure if Harry would want his touch right now. “I… I can’t even. God, Harry, I’m so sorry I ever made you think that. It’s… it’s only you-”

“I saw you, Louis.” Harry’s voice was dangerously low, laced with tears, regret and hurt, and it was making Louis hurt inside. “I saw you with him. You looked happy, Louis. You… you haven’t been happy with me for a while-” Harry paused as he wiped away a tear with his hand, shaky breaths coming out of his mouth. Louis curled his hands into fists, unable to bear it any longer, Harry had to know.

“Oh my god… I promise you Harry, he’s nothing. He’s a friend, I promise you. One of Jake’s friend’s dad. I told you the other day… I thought you believed me?” He looked up and Harry just shrugged, clearly struggling to believe the words Louis was saying. “He was talking to me about his baby, Harry, we were laughing about that. I wouldn’t cheat. I promise.”

His voice dropped then, feeling a sudden need to be honest with Harry, to let him know what was really going on. He took in a breath, and touched his wedding ring with his right hand, the cool metal resonating on his warm skin.

“It wasn’t real, you know. What you saw. The smile.. The laughter. I was… I was being who he expected me to be. The Louis everyone knows, the one that laughs and jokes, that smiles at everything. That’s what they want and need from me, Haz. I… I don’t know how to be anyone else, sometimes. It’s much easier to joke about my problems or brush them off than to talk. It’s… it’s only with you I feel I can be _me_. The Louis that I really am, inside. But lately… I feel, feel like- god. I’m scared that who I am… it’s not enough anymore. Not enough… for you.” A tear trickled down his cheek, but he didn't bother to wipe it away, sick of hiding from Harry and who he really was.

“Then Louis, tell me. Tell me what’s going on with you, because I can’t figure it out… I can’t work you out right now. I want to understand, I do, but you’re making it so, so hard right now. It’s been so long, Louis, since I feel I’ve really seen you, or felt like you’ve wanted to be with me, or spend anytime with me. Do you have any idea how much that hurts? To have your husband push you away, to look at you like… like he just doesn’t like you anymore? If it’s me, if it’s something I’ve done, then just tell me Lou.. I can fix it, I want to fix it… tell me what I need to do, I can’t lose you-”

Harry blamed himself. He thought, after everything, that it was his fault, that Louis pulling away was on his shoulders. Harry’s words opened a floodgate in Louis that had been locked and sealed for so long, Louis thought it was destined to remain shut for eternity. The sorrow, the sadness, the self-loathing… it emerged as Louis began to weep, finally releasing everything that had built up for so long, the house of cards he’d so carefully crafted around, a wall of protection, crumbling, and Louis was powerless to stop it.

Louis could see Harry reaching out to touch him, distress visible in his face, but Louis shuffled away, his back slamming against the headboard, sure Harry didn't really want to comfort him. He didn't deserve it. He was ruining the one good thing in his life, and he didn't know what to do anymore… it was all too much. He got up, scrambling away from the bed, stumbling towards the door in a blind haze, body shutting down as everything became too overwhelming.

“Louis… Louis! Just… just let me hold you baby… you don’t need to run… not from me, never from me…”

Louis felt Harry’s arms encircle him, and his legs gave out, the pair collapsing to the floor, Louis in between Harry’s legs, leaning against his body. His energy had left him, he had nothing left to give. His head fell back against Harry, every ounce of pain finally emerging from him in a flurry of words he couldn’t stop, not even if he wanted to.

“I’ve failed… I’ve failed at everything, Harry. I’ve failed my son. I didn't help him enough. He… he needed me, and I wasn’t there for him. I was working, and… it’s all my fault. And you… I’ve failed you. I’ve been the worst husband- I don’t even… I don’t get why you haven’t walked away. I just-”

Harry rocked him slowly, hands clasping Louis tightly, like if he dared to let go, Louis would slip away for good. “Louis, baby… I-”

“No…. you don’t get it, Harry. No-one fucking ever gets it… I’ve.. I’ve always had to be the strong one. Always. For my Mum, when she used to cry when she was tired, and the babies screamed and money was hard… I had to hold it all together… I was just a kid, Harry. Then I was a dad all of a sudden and- fuck, I’ve never been so scared in my whole life. Alone, responsible for this little person who needed me for everything. I had no money. I had no partner to help me. It was all on my shoulders, and it was… it was just so _fucking_ much, I-”

“I know, Lou, it was-”

“No! No, Harry you don’t know… you have no idea how hard it was. I cried. I cried every single day for months, but in the dark, where no-one could see. I was weak, see? But no-one knew how much I hurt inside… I had to be strong, to show everyone I was coping, and it just hurt. I loved Jacob, don’t ever think I didn't, he’s… he’s my world. But…”

“It’s okay, Lou.. it’s okay to cry, to hurt…”

“No it’s not okay! It’s never okay! Not for me, it isn’t, Harry. I’m strong… I have to be strong, for Mum, for Jake, for you- if I break, Harry, there’s no-one left, no-one to hold it all together, and I can’t- I just can’t-” He took in a shaky breath, and kept talking, unable to stop now he’d started talking, telling Harry exactly what he felt. Harry’s arm released their tight hold, still remaining around Louis, but showing a side of trust Louis needed… that Harry knew Louis wasn’t going to run anymore.

“I can’t ever talk about it because I don’t want to be a burden, not to anyone. I just.. I bottle it up inside, and keep it there, where it can only hurt me, not everyone else. It’s my burden. My weakness, not something to share with those I love. Because words are weapons Harry, and if I let them, they’ll destroy everything. So if I break and tell someone I’m, fuck, that I’m broken, I don’t know if I can ever come back from that-” Harry was crying by now, his tears dripping onto the soft cotton of Louis’ t-shirt, soaking into the fabric.

“All I’m doing is ruining everything I care about, everyone I care about. I’ve fucked Jake up, now I’m ruining you as well. You need me to be your husband, to support you, to be the strong one but… I don’t know how to be what you need. I want to ask for help, I do. Sometimes when we’re sitting there in the dark, I want to break. I want to tell you how much I hurt. How I’m scared of ruining and losing everything, but I can’t tell anyone. I can’t put that on another person. I can’t put that on _you_ . You have enough to deal with. I just… I _can’t._ ”

Louis tried to pull away, certain that Harry was going to corroborate everything he was saying, and he couldn’t be near Harry to hear those words come out of his mouth. Louis struggled against Harry’s arms which were holding him back, and he just gave up. Gave up fighting. What was the point? Harry needed someone strong, someone who could support him, and right now, that wasn’t Louis. If Harry was going to leave, he was going to leave, and there wasn’t a damn thing Louis could do about it, not now, not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. More tomorrow - 11am GMT.
> 
> Please leave comments letting me know what you thought...


	56. Easier to Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going under...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My biggest and more heartfelt thanks to those of you who have stayed with me and trusted me to guide you throughout this tough part of the story. Your comments have meant the world to me, and honestly, blown me away. I hope you like this update.

Harry sighed as Louis tried to pull away again, clearly distressed after yet another emotional outburst. Every word of self-hatred spewing from Louis’ lips made him feel sick. He hated so much that Louis thought so little of himself, but it went so far in explaining why his husband had been acting how he was. All Harry wanted to do was make Louis feel okay again, to let him know that he loved him, and wanted him. All of a sudden, Louis stopped struggling, and he slumped back against Harry, who quickly adjusted his body, letting Louis rest back, cradled in Harry’s arms.

“Lou….” Harry shuffled their bodies until his own legs were out in front of him, Louis’ body against his, silence broken by only Louis’ sobs, and Harry’s breaths. “Louis… you know it’s okay to _not_ be okay, right? It’s not a weakness, sweetheart… you’re just, you’re just human.. Don’t ever be ashamed of hurting because I want to be the one you turn to… not the one you run away from, yeah? I want to share your burdens, wipe away your tears… hold you when you cry. Because I love you, Louis… so much, you have no idea how much.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, it’s my turn. Listen to me, please?” Louis nodded, more tears falling as Harry started to speak. He didn’t know if there was anything Harry could say to change his mind about this. No pretty words to fix it.

“You need to trust that I’m not going to run away when things get a little bit tough. Because I’m not, not now, not ever. You’ve been pushing me away, Louis, so fucking hard, and it hurt so bad because you wouldn’t let me in when all I wanted to do was help. I just want to be there for you-”

“But you nearly weren’t-” Louis whispered, the words falling from his lips. “You nearly left me, Harry… I… you nearly died, and you nearly left me. I had to listen to a doctor tell me that they didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. I was nearly alone again, like before. I’ve never been so scared, Harry. I can’t bear the thought of you being taken away from me. I don’t want you to leave. It’s been easier to push you away, knowing that you would leave by your own free will, than losing you any other way.”

“I didn't want to leave… you have to know I never would have wanted that, Lou...” Harry was crying again now, reliving those awful memories, things he’d pushed deep down long ago, realising with horror that Louis had never moved on, had never really talked about how he felt when Harry had had his accident… how he’d nearly lost his husband. “But I’m here now, yeah? I don’t want to leave you, Louis. I want to grow old with you, and hold your hand every single day. I want to wake up to your beautiful blue eyes, and I want to share your pain, and your hurt. I want you to trust me, to let me do that for you.”

“You were there for me when I had my accident. You were my rock. You kept me going when I wanted to give up. When the physio was too much, I just wanted to give in, but you made me strong, Louis. You encouraged me… you believed in me. But now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to support you, to believe in you, like I promised when I married you. Please let me be there for you-” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word, meeting Louis’ eyes.

All Louis could see was honesty and love. There was a sincerity in Harry’s words that he just believed, and finally, he reached down, watching as his smaller hand sat on Harry’s, their fingers mingling gently, cautiously, as if they were afraid to touch. Louis bent his fingers, letting Harry clasp his hand in return. What seemed like such a small step seemed enormous to Louis, but he knew Harry was the only person he would ever want to be vulnerable with.

Despite everything… despite how hard Louis had tried to push him away, Harry wasn’t going anywhere. Harry loved him, and he loved Harry, more than he could ever say. He looked back into the eyes of his husband, the one who loved him in spite of his faults, who loved him because of them. Harry didn't see a broken man who he needed to fix. He just saw his Louis. Louis’ bottom lip wobbled as he stared deep into Harry’s eyes, as if he were looking into his soul, seeing the other half of himself.

“Kiss me… Harry, just kiss me, please-”

Harry didn't hesitate, not for a second. He brought a shaking hand up to Louis’ cheek, cupping it gently, running the pad of his thumb over his cheekbone, making Louis shiver.

“You are so, so beautiful, Louis. Inside and out. Even when you think you’re broken. I love you so much, baby. I always will.”

Louis closed his eyes as Harry leant in, and finally, their lips met. Louis felt like... He was coming home. After so long without contact with Harry, it felt so much, just a chaste touch of lips, but god, it was everything. His hands flew up, clutching at Harry’s face, wanting to hold him in place in case he was going to try and disappear, to leave Louis alone. Harry’s body heat seeped through the thin layers of their clothing as Louis slowly turned, needing to be closer to Harry, to be part of him again.

“Oh god-” Louis mumbled, Harry feeling so… just, _right,_ under his fingertips. In that moment, he wondered how he ever could have felt so far away from Harry. Harry was his anchor, the one that kept him from floating adrift, from becoming lost. Harry was his home, and he always would be. “Harry-”

“I’ve got you, love,” Harry whispered tenderly, the words settling softly between them. Carefully, as if Louis were made of something precious, Harry stood, Louis’ body cradled in his arms. He looked at him with such love. Louis felt… loved. It was the only word that was running around his head. Love. He loved Harry, and Harry loved him, no matter how broken he was… Harry would always love him.

“I love you.” Louis found the words fell easily from his lips, meaning each one of them.

Harry got his balance and kissed Louis’ lips one more time before he started slowly walking towards their bedroom, kicking the bedroom door open gently with his foot, still holding Louis close.

“Please… let me show you how much I love you…” Harry whispered, and Louis could only nod, pulling his husband in for another kiss.

“Harry, please-”

Harry nodded and laid Louis out on the bed, underneath his body. He shuffled Louis backwards until he was in the middle of the bed, and pulled his own t-shirt off over his head, kissing over Louis’ cheeks, down the side of his neck, Louis moaning under Harry’s touch. “You are so beautiful…” Harry muttered, still kissing, his hands roaming over Louis’ body over his clothes. “I love every bit of you, Lou… every. Single. Bit.” Louis looked down, watching his husband kiss down his left arm, stopping at his ring finger. “I especially love this…” He kissed his wedding ring and moved his hands across, stopping at the hem of Louis’ t-shirt. “Can I…”

Louis just nodded, letting Harry take off his t-shirt, leaving him bare chested and vulnerable under Harry. “Please-”

“Okay baby, okay,” Harry reassured, rubbing his hands over Louis’ chest. “How do you…”

“I want… I need to feel you, Harry. I… I want you inside me-”

“I’d love that,” Harry mumbled, getting up grab some lube from the bedside cabinet. He slid off his own boxers, quickly followed by Louis’, both men bare and exposed to each other. “My beautiful, beautiful Louis…” He didn't stop kissing or touching Louis as he gently opened him up, treating Louis as if he were the most precious thing he’d ever touched, as if it were their first time all over again. Louis was at a loss for words, hands clenching at the bedsheet, grabbing at Harry’s skin at the sensations he was feeling, completely overwhelmed already. It hurt because it had been a while, but the burn was worth it. He welcomed the feeling. Any feeling.

“I’m ready, please-” Harry nodded and rearranged their bodies until he was sat between Louis’ parted thighs, his husband looking so trusting yet scared underneath him. Harry paused for a moment, stroking up Louis’ thighs, trying to settle him before they went any further.

“Hey… it’s just me, okay? Lou… are you alright?” Harry leaned over Louis’ body until they were chest to chest, trying to ignore the throb of his cock as it brushed against Louis’, their lips meeting for a moment. “I love you, baby. Are you sure about this..”

“I am,” Louis whispered, bringing up a hand to rest against Harry’s cheek. “I trust you, and… I… I love you, Harry. I’m so, so, sorry-”

“No, not now, baby. Just… let me love you, okay?” He wiped away a tear that was falling from the corner of Louis’ eyes, making its way to the pillowcase under his head, and kissed Louis as he nodded. Harry sat up more for a moment, gently guiding his cock inside Louis’ body. It had been a while for both of them so he moved slowly, wanting Louis to feel as little pain as possible. Louis appreciated the gentleness of his husband, but he needed to feel him.  “Oh, Lou…”

“Harry-” Louis nodded, telling Harry wordlessly that he was okay, that he wanted him to move. He _needed_ him to move. He brought his legs up to rest on the base of Harry’s spine, enjoying the closeness between the pair as Harry began to rock his hips, the glide of Harry’s length inside him so much. He tugged gently at Harry’s hair until their faces met in a kiss, pushing his tongue into Harry’s mouth, hungrily kissing his husband. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it, having Harry inside him, being intimate with him, and now, he never wanted to stop.

“You… you’re mine, Lou… always will be,” Harry muttered as he picked up the pace, starting to thrust a bit harder. Louis just nodded again, sinking back into the mattress, letting Harry take him, needing to feel like he belonged to Harry. Their bedroom was filled with the sounds of their pants, the noises of pleasure erupting from Louis as Harry took him, made him his once more. He made him feel whole. “Fuck… I love you so much-”

“Harder, make me feel it… make me feel you,” Louis begged, tears pouring down his cheeks again as Harry scrambled to grab his hand, pressing it into the mattress next to Louis’ head, their fingers laced, clutching on as if each other were their lifeline.

Harry got up onto his knees, pushing their bodies closer together, his cock deeper inside Louis’ body until Louis cried out, Harry buried inside him. He began to move quicker, his skin slapping each time their bodies met, shudders of pleasure rippling through his body. Although it was fast, hard and visceral… it felt like he was making love to Louis, starting afresh, giving Louis exactly what he needed. It was desperate and passionate.

Harry ducked his head, sucking the nub of Louis’ nipple into his mouth, feeling Louis squeeze his hand in return, his hard cock bobbing against Harry’s lower stomach with his each movement of his hips. He lathed his tongue over it, feeling Louis’ muscles flutter underneath his touch, and he turned his attention to the other, wanting to make Louis feel good and escape whatever pain and grief he had chasing him.

Louis blinked, staring up at Harry. There was something about laying himself open and bare like this, asking Harry to treat him in this way that made him feel so vulnerable. Harry had seen him naked countless times, and Louis wasn’t shy of his nudity. This was deeper than that… it felt as if Harry could see deep inside of him, in a place Louis usually kept hidden away, only for himself. Louis felt as if he wasn’t just baring his skin, his body to Harry, he was baring his very soul, everything he loathed about himself and Harry was just… embracing it, every part of it. He felt raw. Like his skin was being peeled away revealing everything he was underneath.

“Wanna make you feel so good, baby, want you to know how loved you are… how sexy you look… god, Louis-” Louis moaned again, and the sound went straight to Harry’s cock, thrusting in particularly hard, Louis crying out Harry’s name. “Too much?” he asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t pushing him too far.

“No- want more-” Louis panted out, grasping Harry’s hand so tightly, not able to contemplate letting go. If he let go, he may float away again. Maybe never come back. He closed his eyes as he lost himself to the feeling of Harry inside him, finally making himself feel something, the burn of being stretched open, pounded into, albeit with love. He felt cracked open, exposed to his husband in every way. The familiar bubble of his orgasm was burning low in his belly, and he was chasing that feeling, needing the release. “Love you-”

“Love you more, always more,” Harry returned, dipping his head into yet another deep kiss, his tongue easily tangling with Louis’, the taste of his husband so familiar, and yet so new at the same time. He could feel Louis’ body trembling under his own, and he trailed his down, fingers wrapping loosely around Louis’ hard shaft, stroking the soft skin in time with his thrusts. “Want you to come first, beautiful. Let me see you. Let go for me, Lou…”

“Oh- fuck, yes, oh Harry-” Louis moaned, bucking his hips up, simultaneously drawing Harry’s cock deeper inside him, and his cock into Harry’s fist, feeling almost over-stimulated. His breaths became short and sharp, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat as he chased his orgasm, waves of pleasure rolling over him.

“Come for me….”

“Harry-” Louis finally let go. He closed his eyes and let Harry fuck him harder as he started to come, covering himself and Harry in his release, the pleasure burning from his head down to the tip of his toes. Tears were freely falling down his cheeks now, the overwhelming feeling of love taking over his senses, sending shockwaves through his system. Harry held him throughout it, his body a safe haven, protecting Louis as well as being the one who could deliver the ultimate pleasure. He kept his legs clamped around Harry’s waist as he let Harry find his own orgasm, sighing as he felt Harry fill him up, coming hard and fast inside him. It was a feeling Louis had desperately missed, and at that moment, it felt like everything. He felt connected.

Harry slumped down on top of him for a moment, trying to catch his own breath as Louis stayed wrapped around him, not quite ready to let Harry go just yet, quietly crying into his neck.  He felt so different, as if feeling Harry inside him had finally broken down the very last walls surrounding him, letting Harry in fully for the very first time. Slowly, Harry got up and Louis whined, Harry pushing the sound away with his own lips, pressing gently onto Louis’.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby, I promise. Just wanna get a flannel and clean us up, okay?” Louis nodded and winced as Harry pulled out, feeling a trickle of come emerge from his body, a physical manifestation of Harry’s love for him that Louis found somehow soothing. Harry first, very carefully, wiped the tears from Louis cheeks. It was as if he understood why Louis was crying, even though Louis wasn't sure he understood it himself. He watched Harry’s naked form head for their bathroom, returning with a warm cloth that he wiped gently over Louis’ body, touching every part of him so delicately, it made Louis shiver. Harry cleaned himself too, and threw the flannel in the direction of the bathroom.

“Harry, I-”

“Not now… we don’t have to talk now, my love. Let’s… we can do that in the morning. I just want to- can I hold you tonight, Louis? Please?”

Instead of words, Louis stared deeply into his husband’s eyes before he rolled his body onto his side, reaching behind him to grab Harry’s right arm, pulling it over his waist, clutching his hand tightly. He could almost feel Harry smile back at the gesture, and soon, his back was shrouded in the warmth of Harry’s bare skin, touching from head to toe. It felt right, to be held like this after so long of being starved of Harry’s touch. Louis knew it was entirely self-inflicted Harry hadn’t touched him in so long, but that didn't make the burden any easier to bear.

“Night, Haz,” he whispered into the darkness. “I… thank you. For… everything.”

“I love you. I always will, Lou. Please don’t ever doubt that. Please.”

Louis stayed silent for a moment, running his thumb over Harry’s skin, relishing in its softness and familiarity. He could feel Harry’s body moving with each inhalation, and he pressed back into it, needing to feel grounded and safe.

“I love you, too.”

******

Louis woke up to a dark room, and a warm body curled up behind him. It seemed Harry hadn’t moved the entire night, his arm resting over Louis’ waist where he remembered pulling it before he’d fallen asleep, and one of Harry’s legs was between his own. When he just shut off his mind and laid like this, it were as if the past weeks had never happened, and the thought settled oddly in his chest, a heavy weight that somehow he couldn’t shift.

He could feel the need to pee and tried to carefully slip out of bed, lifting Harry’s arm off him but failed, Harry clamping around his body before he could escape. Louis shifted until he looked into Harry’s eyes, seeing something there in those beautiful green eyes. Louis thought for a moment until he realised with a sinking feeling what it was he was seeing: fear.

“I just need the loo; I’ll be right back. I’m not running away again,” Louis whispered, and allowed Harry to lean in, grazing his lips on his own for a moment until he released his hold, watching Louis as he headed into the bathroom. Louis’ body felt a tad sticky and sore from the night before, but in a pleasant way, a reminder that he’d reconnected physically with Harry after so long apart. He flushed as he remembered begging Harry to take him, to make him feel something, and he shivered at the memories of how Harry had been with him, how lovingly he’d treated him as he’d given Louis exactly what he’d needed.

He flushed the toilet and washed his hands before he joined Harry back in bed. Instead of laying down, he sat up against the headboard, and Harry moved around, laying his head in Louis’ lap. Louis’ hand hovered above it for a moment, unsure what to do before it finally to rest on Harry’s head, stroking mindlessly at his curls. He still felt peculiar after last night, after finally exorcising his demon’s to Harry in such an emotional and fractious fashion, and he couldn’t deny the urge to run away again burning deep inside him. He felt drained. The thought of Harry seeing him so vulnerable didn’t sit well with him, even though loves Harry. He just didn’t want pity or to be seen differently.

“How are you feeling?” came Harry’s low, sleep-laden voice, cutting through the silence, disturbing Louis’ thoughts. “Did you manage to sleep?”

Louis stayed silent for a minute, trying to order his thoughts into something he’d want to say aloud. Harry must have mistaken this for Louis not wanting to talk and rushed on, rolling onto his back, staring up at Louis, head still across his thighs.

“I mean, if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. There’s no pressure, I don’t… I don’t want to pressure you, or make you feel like you have to tell me, Lou. Just… I love you, yeah?”

Louis smiled down, appreciating Harry’s understanding despite everything he’d put him through over the past few weeks. Harry was exactly the sort of person Louis wished he could be, and still, he couldn’t believe Harry loved him and wanted to be with him after everything he’d done. He truly was an angel, and it was then Louis realised if they stood any chance of moving through this together, he had to be honest, as much as it scared him to do so.

“I do want to talk to you. I… I have to, Harry. I have to start talking or we’re just going to end up where we were before, and I don’t… I don’t know if I can do that again, you know?” Harry nodded and reached for Louis’ hand, pulling it from his hair and into his own hand, holding it loosely. He sighed and remained quiet again, appreciating Harry just giving him the time he needed to speak, no pressure on him at all. “And… I love you, too. That’s- it’s important you know that Harry, because I do.”

“I know,” Harry whispered, bringing Louis’ hand down on his lips, kissing it softly. “I’m gonna listen to anything you have to say, and while I can’t promise to make it better, I’m not going anywhere. I want to help you, Lou. I want to understand, so we don’t end up here again because this has killed me. Every night I fell asleep without you in my arms, or your arms around me, I felt so alone. I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty, but I need you to know how much I’ve missed you. How much this has affected me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Louis whispered back because for some reason, he thought a normal speaking voice would break their fragile moment. He had tears forming in his eyes again which he quickly scrubbed away before they could fall. “I’ve been strong for so long, Harry. For Mum, Jake, you… I didn't know how to be anything but that person you all know and rely on. I managed to convince myself that you didn't want me anymore, that I was too much of a burden for you to bother with. I couldn’t fathom how you’d want me if I was weak.”

Harry sighed heavily, snuggling further into Louis’ lap. His hand came up and rested lightly on Louis’ thigh, tracing back and forth over the bare skin, and despite the fact they were both still naked, there was nothing sexual in it at all. Louis focused in on the touch, allowing it to ground him as he continued to voice his fears.

“I felt that if I told you I was cracking under the pressure, that everything was just too much, you’d walk away. And at the same time, that’s what I wanted. For you to leave. Because I didn't feel like I deserved you… I still don’t, not really. I’ve conditioned you and everyone else in my life to believe that shit doesn’t affect me. I live behind a mask every day, sometimes I don’t even know who I am or how I’m feeling. I’ve gotten so good at concealing, I've managed to convince even myself that everything is fine. I’ve spent so long hiding behind this mask that it became too hard to take off, like if I did, I wouldn’t exist anymore.”

“Oh, Lou,” Harry mumbled, not interrupting, just low enough for Louis to know he was listening, and his words were sinking in.

“All I cared about was your happiness, and Jacob’s. My happiness no longer mattered to me. Sure, I acted happy to everyone else, but it was just that an act. I just felt you’d both be better off without me, but you especially. I’d let you down, Harry. I wasn’t the husband you deserved. You need someone strong beside you, someone who can help you and support you through all of the amazing things you do and-”

“I need _you_ ,” Harry emphasised, locking eyes with Louis for a moment. “You are that person to me, the one who keeps me going, whether you know it or not.”

“That’s the problem, Harry, I didn't feel like I was. I felt like I was letting you down,” Louis continued. “Then with Jacob… god. When we got told officially it was dyslexia… I mean, I’d expected it. It’s what we all thought, and it was the result we all knew we were going to get. But hearing it, hearing those words… I felt like I’d failed him all over again. I failed him the first time when I picked a mother who abandoned him without a second thought, and now I’ve failed him again because he’s got dyslexia, and I did nothing to help him. I worked too hard, he wasn’t given enough attention, and now… he’s going to struggle every day because of me.”

“Please. Please tell me you know that isn’t true?” Harry asked, tears burning in his eyes. “Jake hasn’t got dyslexia because of anything you did or didn't do. And you’re an amazing dad, Louis. I watch you with him, and I’m honestly in awe. If I am half the dad to any babies we have that you are to Jacob, then I’ll be happy, honestly I will.”

“The rational part of me knows it’s nothing I did. But still, I feel like I’m to blame. I know parents always blame themselves, but it’s hard. Being a single dad… it was never in my plan. Never. It was so fucking hard, Haz. So many times I wanted to break, and I never did. I think that’s when I started hiding behind the mask, protecting me and Jake the only way I knew how, because admitting I wasn’t coping meant I was failing.”

“I hated being alone. I hated it. Then you came along, and finally, I wasn’t alone anymore. Everything was so good, you know? I had this man in my life that actually wanted to be with me, and even better, he loved my son too. It was… it was everything I ever dreamed of finding Harry. Do you get that? And then when you had your accident, I felt like everything was crumbling again. I was going to end up alone. I never told anyone, because I had to be strong, I had to hold everything together. I had to support you and your mum, and pretend to Jake like everything was going to be okay, even when I thought that maybe it wasn’t. I had to look at Jake every single day with a smile and assure him that you were going to be okay, when I really wasn’t sure myself.”

“So, yeah. That’s me, and I don’t know how to change. I want to talk, but I can’t. It’s hard for me to give you my burdens. To give them to anyone, really. I just… I feel numb, Harry. Like if I had to feel something, I knew I couldn’t hold it together anymore, that I’d break. I let the numbness take over and distance settle in, because it was so much easier, and it stopped me from breaking. And now you know, I’m fucking petrified that you won’t love me anymore, that you know I’m weak, and that you’ll want to walk away from me.”

“Louis, sometimes I wonder if you know me at all,” Harry began, rolling onto his back so he could stare up at Louis. “Lay down with me for a sec?” Louis nodded and they moved until they were on their sides facing each other. Harry had his arm under Louis’ head, holding him close, and they were looking directly at each other. “Louis, I love you. I’ve said it so much, I know, but it’s true. I remember when I first saw you and Jake at that show in Manchester, where we first met. You just caught my eye, and it was a struggle to stop staring at you through the whole show. You gave me such butterflies, and that still happens today. I feel so loved and special when you look at me, Lou, and I don’t ever want that to go away. I knew, even then, that I’d found someone special, and now you’re my husband, and my son’s father, you’re ever more special to me.”

“Harry…” Louis started, but Harry stopped him with a soft kiss.

“Baby, listen. I love you, no matter what that entails. You have your issues that you need to deal with, and that’s fine. I’m here if you need me, or for whatever you need. I just need you to know that it doesn’t matter what you think is wrong with you, I, I just don’t see it. You’re my everything, Lou, and that won’t change. But… can I ask you something? And will you answer me honestly, because that’s the only way forward, if we’re honest with each other…”

“Of course,” Louis said with a nod, keen for Harry to see he was trying, no matter how hard he found it right now.

“You said a minute ago you felt distant. Did you mean from me, or our marriage, or what?” Louis could feel Harry’s fingers playing with his own as he spoke, as if he were nervous of confronting the question, but Louis was grateful Harry was brave enough to ask the tough questions.

“It’s hard to put it into words,” Louis started, dropping his eyes slightly, unsure he could actually look at Harry as he bared his soul again. Fuck this was hard. He took a few moments to collect his thoughts because he’d never had to say it out loud before, to actually describe it to someone. “I just… I couldn’t feel anything. I was just so incredibly numb to you, to Jake, to everyone. And in a way, that was easier than hurting, or hating myself for what I was doing to you… to us. It was my safety. If I let myself feel what I was doing, the pain I was causing, then I don’t think I could have held it together, and that was just unacceptable to me. I mean, I’m not sure if what I was doing was holding it together, but it felt like I was. It was better than breaking.”

“You felt so out of my reach, Haz. I wanted so much to hold you, touch you and tell you I didn't mean it, that I was scared, and I felt so out of control. But the worse things got, the harder it got to be honest as reality was just slipping away. I felt like I was watching my life from afar, it was like I wasn’t a part of it anymore, that I was just going through the motions. I was in the fog between existence and disappearing. It felt like I was both drowning and floating away, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t save myself. I was trapped, and I didn't know how to break free… until last night. The fact you actually thought I could ever cheat on you… that broke me, love. No matter how bad things ever get between us, I would never do that to you, not ever.”

“I was scared, Lou. You were getting further and further away from me, and then seeing you with him, seeing you act like you used to with me… my mind jumped to the worst thing. The more I thought about it, the more real the idea was in my mind. I mean… I knew you weren’t cheating, deep down I did, but I guess I was caught up in everything, too. I’ve hated this so much, I’ve… I’ve missed you, Louis. So much. You’re not just my husband, you’re my best friend, the one I come to when I’m scared, or I have worries, and I didn't really have anyone when you weren’t there anymore. I missed my other half, Louis…”

Harry started to cry softly, and Louis’ heart broke all over again. This time, he didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around his husband, pulling him close. Harry buried his face into Louis’ neck, craving the safety and familiarity of his husband’s body, something Louis finally felt able to give him. Things weren’t healed, by no means, but the fact he felt able to talk to Harry was a huge leap for him, and it made him realise just how much he’d missed Harry as well.

“I really am sorry I pushed you away, Haz. I didn't… didn't know how to deal with my feelings, and it was easier to ignore them and pretend they weren’t there than it was to confront them. I felt I needed to be strong. It didn’t feel like a choice, but a necessity, and the only way was to close myself off emotionally. I’m just sorry you were caught up in it, and I lost you because of it. I didn't want to drag you down with me, I couldn’t do that to you too.”

“What you don’t realise, Lou, is that I want you to. I want you to share it with me. But I’m sorry I didn't see you were struggling, and I’m sorry I saw the worst in you, that I let you pull away from me. I can’t pretend to understand, but I want to… I’m so proud of you for opening up to me, for telling me how you feel. You make me so proud, Lou.” He nuzzled his nose against Louis’, drawing a slight smile out of Louis before he pulled back, Harry frowning slightly at the action.

“I…. I need tell Jacob I’m sorry, too,” Louis began as Harry kissed him again softly, their hands laced under the covers, legs tangled together. “He needs to know I’m so sorry, that I didn't mean to make him so sad. It kills me to know he’s sad and it’s because of me.”

“We can talk to him together, if you’d like?” Harry looked up at Louis shyly, as if nervous of his reaction. Louis nodded, and took in a deep breath. After so long of being so far away from Harry, this felt like a lot to comprehend all at once. But he couldn’t deny the feeling of relief that flooded through him for being honest, at sharing his worries with Harry, of his husband seeing all of him and not rejecting him, or telling Louis he didn't love him anymore because he was broken. Harry loved him, and that wasn’t going to change.

“I’d like that,” Louis replied, smiling as Harry’s hand came up to stroke his cheek for a moment. There was silence as neither of them spoke for a moment, just soaking in their feelings, the air hanging heavily between them. “Harry…”

“Mmm?” Harry mumbled, looking deep into Louis’ eyes.

“Thank you. For trying to understand, for listening. This… it’s not easy. I’m still scared, and I know one talk between us isn’t going to make this better. I need to find a way to deal with this, I know I do. But you just being here… being _you_ , that’s… it’s a lot. So thank you. For not giving up on me, or on our marriage. Because I want it, Harry. Us. I- I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Harry whispered, as if the words were for Louis’ ears only. “You couldn’t, I promise. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Louis whispered back, meaning the words more than anything.

“Want a shower? Feel a bit gross after last night, didn't clean up properly,” Harry admitted with a blush as he remembered last night all over again.”

“Um-”

“Please? I just want to… be close to you again,” Harry said softly, squeezing Louis’ fingers gently. “Let me take care of you, Lou? You deserve it, to be taken care of, too. I need to do more to make you understand that.”

“Okay,” Louis said with a small nod. Harry carefully disentangled them and pushed the covers off. He stood on the floor, entirely bare in front of Louis and held out his hand, smiling when Louis put his into Harry’s and got to his own feet, stumbling slightly, head spinning.

“Can I hug you?” Harry hesitated before he touched Louis, as if uncertain his husband would want that from him. The realisation made Louis feel sad inside.

“Please,” Louis replied, stepping into Harry’s open arms, their bare bodies pressing against the other as Louis rested his cheek on Harry’s chest. A sense of calm flooded through his veins, as if stepping back into Harry’s arms meant he was home, a place he felt safe, protected from everything else. He pulled away slightly and tilted his head back, Harry quickly kissing him, the kiss loving and deep for a moment, Harry’s hand on Louis’ waist, Louis bringing his arms up around Harry’s shoulders.

“Come on, love…” Harry mumbled, lips red, a blush upon his cheeks. “Let’s go.” He took Louis’ hand and gently pulled him in the direction of the bathroom.

Louis stopped for a moment and Harry whirled around, a look of concern etched on his face. “You… you still want me? Despite everything I did? That I’m… struggling?”

Harry sighed and took Louis’ hands again, looking deeply into his eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? Lou, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make me not want you. I’m in this… our marriage, for life. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m not naive. I know not every day is going to be easy. But I want to fight for you… for us. I want you to know I’m not going anywhere. You’re it for me, Louis, and I love you so, so much. Trust me? Please?”

“I do,” Louis whispered as tears began to fall again. “I really, really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know your thoughts. Thank you so much for reading. xx


	57. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis starts to make amends. Harry and Jacob put a smile back on Louis’ face. Harry has an important proposition for his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, reaction to the last chapter blew me away. Your comments and tweets were phenomenal so thank you very much.

Harry pulled up the handbrake on the car before he switched the engine off, spinning in his seat until he was looking at Louis. It was midday on Saturday, and after a tender shower and a small breakfast, Harry and Louis had driven over to Jay’s, both intent on finally bringing their son home. The car ride over had been quiet, but in a settled, calm way instead of the fraught tension that had been ever present between them lately.

“Do you wanna wait here? I don’t mind getting him, love,” Harry said, wanting to make this easier on Louis, however he could. Louis quickly shook his head and met Harry’s eyes, smiling for a moment.

“No, it’s okay. I’d like to come in, if you don’t mind?”

Harry chuckled at that, shaking his head. “No, of course I don’t mind. It’s your mum’s house anyway. Come on, then. Let’s get our boy.” He climbed out of the car and watched as Louis did the same, locking the car behind him as they headed up the path. Instead of walking in, Louis reached out and pressed the doorbell. Behind the door, the screech of children could be heard, and it put a smile on Harry’s face.

Just before the door opened, Louis slid his hand down and slipped it into Harry's, lacing their fingers together, holding on tightly, both enjoying the point of contact with each other. The door opened, and Jay stood there, a smile suddenly appearing on her face as her gaze dropped, taking in their linked hands.

“Oh Lou…” Louis smiled and stepped inside, not dropping Harry’s hand as they all stood in the hallway, Jay’s eyes tearing up. “You took my advice then?” Harry nodded and turned to Louis, kissing the side of his head gently as Louis began talking.

“You mean did I finally admit what was wrong to my wonderful husband, and did he just understand and be as amazing as he always is? If you meant that, then yes.” Jay stepped forwards and hugged Louis and Harry together, wrapping her arms as best she could around their shoulders.

“I’m so pleased for the pair of you,” she said, winking at Harry as they pulled away. “You going to stay for a little bit? Cuppa?”

Harry looked to Louis who nodded. “Yeah, please Mum. Is Jake around?”

“He’s terrorising Ernest and Doris somewhere, I’m sure. Come in, the pair of you, come on.” Harry stayed in the living room, sitting down next to Phoebe and Daisy who were reading on the sofa, listening as they started talking at the same time about the new books they’d got from the library. Louis just followed Jay into the kitchen. She flicked on the kettle and prepared two cups for tea, the silence hanging between the pair. “So….”

“So,” Louis returned, looking at his mum. “I… I think we’re gonna be okay, Mum. Me and Harry, I mean. Um…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, love. Knowing you two have worked whatever it out is good enough for me. He’s a good one, though, Lou. It broke me last night when he came to get Jake, and he cried. I’ve never seen him cry before. He loves you so much. You do know that, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Louis began, the guilt already beginning to eat him up, the thought he’d made Harry cry to his mum was an awful one. “And I need to talk about it, with people I trust. I… I broke last night, with Harry. I told him everything. How I’d been feeling, how I just pulled away to protect him, and myself in a way. But he listened, and he told me he loved me anyway, Mum. I thought I was going to lose him.” He sniffed, and dabbed at his eyes with the sleeve of Harry’s jumper he had on.

“You couldn’t. I’m not sure that boy could ever walk away from you,” Jay said, stepping over to hug her son. “I’m glad you trusted him, because that’s all he wants, to help you. He’s wonderful, he really is, and so are you. You’re good for each other. Let him help you, Lou, through whatever this is. Promise me?”

“I will. I trust him, and I love him so much. He was my rock last night. I was horrible, I… made him think I was cheating, when I would never. But he didn't back away. He held me, and he kissed and he… took care of me.” He blushed at that, but Jay chuckled softly, running a hand down her son’s cheek.

“Good. You deserve to feel special, Lou.” She turned away, making quick work of the tea in front of her, handing one mug of tea over to Louis before they headed into the living room, Louis sitting down next to Harry, smiling as Harry rested a hand on his thigh, accepting the cup from Jay with a smile.

“I’m just gonna pop and find Jake,” Louis whispered to Harry after a few minutes of chatting with Dan and the twins. “I want to talk properly with him at home, but I need to see him now.”

“Okay, love,” Harry said, and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Louis’ lips. “You know where I am if you need me.”

“I do,” Louis murmured, getting up and placing his cup on the side table before he quietly headed upstairs. He could hear Jacob talking with Ernest and Doris in their room, and took a breath before he stepped towards the open door. None of the children noticed his presence, and he watched on with fond eyes as Jacob talked them through whatever he’d created out of pieces of train track, empty boxes and several stuffed toys sat on the floor.

“Can I play?” Louis asked in a moment of quiet, and Jacob’s eyes flicked upwards, smiling as he saw his dad. They soon clouded over, an almost wary expression covering them for a minute and Louis swallowed, hoping Jacob wouldn’t decline his invitation.

“Come and sit with me, Dad,” Jacob said, patting the carpet next to him. Louis kicked off his shoes and sat cross-legged, almost tearing up when Jacob crawled into his lap, giving Louis a tight cuddle and a kiss on the cheek before he turned around, leaning to grab a train from the floor. “We’re playing Thomas the Tank Engine’s adventure because Nanny said that Ernie loves Thomas at the moment. But Dotty didn't want to play that so she’s being a fairy train, which I said was okay.”

“Very kind of you,” Louis said softly with a nod, kissing the back of his son’s head. “So, who do I get to be?”

“Um… the controller,” Jacob spoke after thinking about it for a moment, handing his dad a little figure. Louis laughed and nodded, supporting Ernest as he toddled over, sitting close to Louis, a pudgy hand on his thigh behind Jacob’s bottom. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting everything sink in. He might be struggling with himself, but these people he was lucky to call family loved him, and just saw him as Louis, and in that moment, it was enough.

He played for a while, until he felt someone creep up behind him, kissing the crown of his head gently. He knew straight away it was Harry and turned around, smiling up at his beautiful husband who had now stood up, and had his hands on his hips, a scandalised expression on his face.

“Erm, excuse me? You’re playing trains without me? You know that’s my favourite!” Harry protested, and Doris laughed, running over to Harry, who had become her favourite person lately. He scooped up the little girl, chucking her up into the air for a minute before setting her on his hip, watching his husband and son play with Ernest for a few more minutes. “And what sort of train were you, darling?” he asked, looking at the wooden item clutched in her hand.

“Fairy train!” she said gleefully, almost hitting Harry on the nose with the train. “Pretty.”

“It is,” Harry agreed, kissing her nose. “Love, are we staying for lunch, or did you want to head home?”

“Can we go home?” Jacob piped up before Louis could even answer, and Louis nodded, checking quickly with Harry he was okay with that. Louis stood up, helping Jacob clear away before he picked up Ernest, holding Jacob’s other hand as they headed downstairs together. Harry stopped them in front of the mirror, grinning at how they looked.

“You okay?” Louis asked, noticing a wistful look in Harry's eye.

“Yeah, all good,” Harry replied, letting a wriggly Ernest down onto the floor. “Come on then, Jake. Did you pack your bag?”

“Poo! I forgot!” Jacob shouted as he thundered back upstairs, the sound of banging creeping down the stairs as Jacob got this things together. Louis and Harry stepped back into the living room, hugging and kissing everyone as they prepared to leave. Louis went to help Jacob with his laces while Harry hovered near Jay, wanting to say something quietly to her.

She could sense he wanted to say something because she took his hand and guided him through to the dining room, giving them a few moments of privacy.

“Thank you for last night, Jay. I went home and insisted we talked. Lou really didn't want to, but I kinda forced him? But he told me lots about how he felt, and I, um, I think we’ll be okay. He knows I’m not going anywhere. I think he needed to hear that. So… yeah. Thanks for keeping Jake, and making me sort it out with Lou. I couldn’t have kept going, but I think now he’s talked to me, that we can work things through together.”

“I’m so pleased. You really were made for each other, you know,” Jay said, pulling Harry into a quick hug. “I told you my son is a stubborn ass. But you’re what he needs, you love him anyway, and as a Mum nothing makes me happier than knowing my boy has someone who loves him unconditionally.”

“I really do.” Harry returned her hug, and kissed her cheek before he pulled away. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, darling, you know that. Jake is a joy to have, and to be honest, it’s like having a particularly energetic free babysitter for Ernie and Dotty.” Harry nodded and laughed, knowing exactly what Jay meant. “You get going, but come and see us again next week, yeah?”

“Tell you what, bring the kids over after school day, we’ll have tea, altogether,” Harry smiled and headed to the hallway, taking Louis’ hand again. “See you later, Jay. Bye kiddos!”

A chorus of goodbyes rang out from the living room, and Jacob held Louis’ other hand as they headed up the drive and got into the car. The drive home was short, and once they were home, Louis put away Jacob’s things and listened to him read for a minute while Harry fed Percy again and let him out in the garden.

Harry started to clear up in the kitchen as Percy had made a mess with his breakfast as Louis and Jacob sat in the sitting room, but he stopped when he heard Louis calling for him. He emptied the last few crusts from Jacob’s plate into the bin, and sat the cloth on the side, joining his husband and son who were curled up together on the sofa.

“Um, do you mind staying in here for a bit?” Louis asked, looking a bit nervous. Harry realised that Louis wanted some support while he apologised, and he nodded, quietly sitting at the other end of the sofa. He tried not to stare at Louis, giving him space to say whatever it was he needed, but giving Lous the support he craved too. “Jacob, love, can we talk for a minute?”

Jacob nodded and Louis grabbed the remote, flicking off the TV for a minute.

“Okay. I have something I need to say to you, love, and I need you to listen to me while I do. Is that okay?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Jacob said, a serious expression crossing his little features. “Are you alright?”

“I will be, love,” Louis said, smiling softly at his caring son. Harry smiled encouragingly in the background, and Louis exhaled heavily before he began to speak. “Jacob, I need to tell you that I’m sorry. I know things at home between me and Dad have been really hard for you, and it’s made you really upset. That isn’t fair, and I need you to know that I am very sorry for how I have been.”

“It’s okay, Daddy-”

“No, baby, it isn’t. Just listen for a second, okay? I’ve been having a hard time in telling people what’s wrong, and because of that, I’ve been really mean to you, and to Dad. I haven’t been talking to Dad about what makes me sad, and that’s made me angry inside, and it’s why I have shouted at him, and caused arguments. But me and Dad had a big talk last night, and I told Dad what the matter was, and he helped me lots with it.” Jacob smiled over to Harry then, and Louis did too, Harry encouraging him again with a nod of his head.

“So… you’re not going to get a divorce and live in different houses?”

“Oh darling, no. Definitely not. Dad and I love each very much, and even if I was being a bit silly, which I was, I never stopped loving him, or you. We want to stay married to each other, and live with you and Percy. I can’t promise I’m not going to get sad again, or that me and Dad are never going to fight, because that’s what grown-ups do-”

“Yeah, Nanny Jay and Grandad Dan fight all the time, she told him off yesterday because he didn't scrape his plate into the bin after dinner-” Jacob’s eyes widened as he spoke, and Louis bit back a laugh at his son’ honesty.

“Well, Dad would tell me off for that too, wouldn’t he? But see? Grown ups fight, and then they kiss and make-up, and talk about what makes them cross, so they can try to stop it happening again. But I want you to know that I’m going to try really hard to not be sad like that again, and I will talk to Dad if I feel that way, so things aren’t bad at home. Is that alright with you?”

“I hate it when you fight. It makes my tummy feel bad, and I don’t like crying in bed. I like it when you and Dad cuddle, and take me out, and we do things together. You haven’t done things lately, it’s just been me and Dad. I mean, I love that, Dad, I do, but I miss Daddy doing things with us too.” He sniffed and looked up at Louis, as if nervous of his reaction.

Harry came over then, kneeling on the floor beside of the pair of them, taking each of their hands in his own, the rock holding them all together. “How about we change that today then, hmm?”

Jacob gasped and nodded, and Louis sent him a puzzled look. “What have you got in mind?” Louis asked.

“How about… bowling? We haven’t done that in ages, and I remember it was one of the first things we did together when we met. Do you remember that, Jake?”

“We winned, didn't we?! Me and Daddy beated you, and you weren’t sad because it made you smile lots!”

“That’s right. I’m not as competitive as your dad. But you wanna know a secret?” Jacob nodded and squeezed Harry’s hand tight, his eyes lighting up with excitement. Harry leaned and whispered, loud enough for Louis to hear too. “I’m not gonna hold back this time. I’m gonna kick your dad’s arse!” Jacob practically screamed with laughter at Harry’s words and rocked back on the sofa, pointing at Louis and laughing.

Harry turned to Louis, worried he’d gone too far, but he felt pleasantly surprised at the mock outrage on his husband’s face, the way one hand was on his hip, as if he were challenging Harry. This was the Louis that Harry had missed, and he was so relieved that maybe, just maybe, he might get his husband back. He could see the bags under his eyes were still there. His eyes were still red-rimmed from crying, but Louis was trying, for the sake of his marriage and their son, and to Harry, that meant the world.

“Oh yeah, Styles? Not. Happening. Me and Jake versus you. And we _will_ be victorious.”

“Well, that sounds like a challenge, Tomlinson. But, um, I’m a Tomlinson too, don’t forget that.”

“Wouldn’t want to,” Louis said, leaning forward to gently peck Harry’s lips, wanting Jacob to see the usually typical affection between the pair. “Shall we have some lunch then head over to the bowling alley?”

“Yay! Can I go to my room til we go please?” Jacob asked, and Louis nodded, watching as Jacob bounded off upstairs, followed quickly by Percy who had recently mastered the stairs, much to Jacob’s joy.

“Gonna help me?” Louis asked as he stood and Harry nodded, taking Louis’ hand as they wandered through to the kitchen. They worked quietly side by side as they prepared sandwiches and salads for lunch, Harry setting the table and laying out some drinks before they called Jacob back down. Louis bent to rub Percy between the ears as he trotted into the room, shaking out a bit of dry food into his bowl. Louis was murmuring something quiet to the puppy, and Harry left it him to it, knowing Louis was probably making an apology of sorts to him too.

“Oh, Lou?” Harry spoke across the table, Louis looking up at him with a mouthful of bread. “Erm, Mum said we could go round for a roast this weekend, if you’re um, up for that? If not, I totally get it and we can-”

“I’d love to,” Louis said honestly, smiling softly at Harry. “Feels like I haven’t seen Anne and Robin in ages. And who could you refuse your Mum’s roast potatoes?”

“No-one, that’s who!” Jacob called out, shaking the last of his Monster Munch out onto his plate. “Pickled onion Monster Munch?” Harry and Louis smiled, shaking their heads at their son. “Eat up, I wanna get to the bowling alley!”

*****

An hour later, they’d all slid on their bowling shoes, and Harry and Jacob had sat at the small desk behind the computer together, programming in the names which Louis made quick work of grabbing them some balls, and asking for a lightweight one for Jacob from behind the desk too. He also grabbed a ramp for Jacob and finally, things were ready.

Harry stepped up to bowl first, knocking an impressive five pins over, and then followed that up with another three. Louis followed, getting a spare, a smirk set on his features already, and Harry, although he didn't like losing, was just pleased to see flashes of his old Louis appearing through the facade Louis was putting on. Finally, it was Jacob’s turn, and Harry stepped up to help.

“No! I’m nearly eight you know, I can do it by myself!”

Harry held his hands up in surrender and backed away, ignoring the laughter of Louis behind him. Instead, he stood face to face with his husband, his arms looped around his waist as they watched Jacob concentrate on lining up the ramp, whacking a dark blue ball onto the top of it.

“You doing okay? If you want to go home, we can. Just let me know, alright?”

“Haz, I’m fine. I promise, I feel better now that I’ve got it all out. I mean, the thoughts are still there, of course they are, but we’re talking, and Jacob’s smiling, and that makes it a little bit more okay, you know? Thank you, for doing this, and for not giving up on me.” He pushed up onto his tiptoes and kissed Harry’s lips softly, his hands still resting at the base of Harry’s spine.

“Oi! Stop kissing and being gross and bowl, Dad!” Jacob said, stomping his little foot on the wooden floor. Harry and Louis broke apart, giggling at Jacob’s expression, and Harry stepped over, picking up an orange ball.

“Sorry, love,” he said as he walked over, swinging his arm back and watched as the ball hurtled up the alley, smashing the pins over, leaving none standing. “Oh my god! Lou, did you see? I got a strike! I- wow!”

“Ha, was my lucky kiss,” Louis teased, standing next to Harry and sliding his hand into his back pocket, Harry smiling at the action. “Glad to see that after nearly two years, my bowling skills have rubbed off on you.”

“I’m refraining very hard from making a very dirty comment right now,” Harry whispered, Louis flushing bright red before he shuffled away, picking up a green ball for himself. “Want me to like, cheer for you, Lou?”

“No thanks,” Louis scoffed, and made it look easy as he got a strike himself. He whirled around and strutted over. “I think I’m good enough by myself, don’t you?”

“Cocky git,” Harry mumbled, and they both watched as Jacob picked up his purple ball, forgoing the ramp this time. He held the ball in his little hands and swung it back between his legs before he let go and it rolled slowly up the lane. He only knocked four pins over but cheered as if it were more, running over to Louis and Harry and high-fived them, jogging back to the machine where the ball would reappear, so he could bowl again. “You’ve made him happy by coming out, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do. Makes me feel bad to know he’d noticed I’d stopped doing things with you guys. I kind of told myself he didn't see it, what was going on, so I wouldn’t feel bad about everything. I guess he’s more perceptive than I give him credit for.”

“He’s sensitive like his daddy, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Harry began, kissing Louis’ cheek and pulling him down onto his lap, enjoying being able to be affectionate with his husband again. “No, don’t roll your eyes, Lou. You are, and I love that about you. Jake’s so much like you, and I love that, too.”

“Well, I hope our other babies are going to be strong like you,” Louis said softly, running a fingertip down Harry’s cheek, enjoying the smoothness of his skin. He’d made Harry shave that morning before they’d gotten to Jay’s, he always did like Harry without any stubble. “I love that you’re strong, and that you’re always there for me and Jacob.”

“You’re strong, too. You’ve been the strong one so many times. You just don’t see it,” Harry replied, gently pushing Louis off when he realised it was his turn. “Just not strong enough to beat me at bowling, so sad.” Louis cackled and pulled Jacob closer as they watched Harry bowl, his first toppling into the gutter and making his boys laugh, the second only knocking down three pins. “I totally did that on purpose, by the way. I feel like I should be generous and let you and Jake win this one.”

Jacob snorted where he stood, hands on hips, so much like Louis it scared Harry a bit. “Yeah, right, Dad. You just suck.”

“Right, come here you,” Harry said, taking off after the screaming little boy, laughing as he ignored the people all around them staring at his little family. He caught up to him and grabbed him, hoisting up over his shoulder and holding him in place as he marched him over to Louis, who had a mock stern look on his face. “Right Daddy, what are we gonna with him? I think throw his Xbox in the bin, no dinner for a week, and…”

“Three baths a day for a week!” Louis chimed in, and Jacob was shaking his head, begging not to do that more than he did beg for his Xbox not to be thrown away. “Yep, lots of hair washes and long bubble baths-”

“No! No, please, I hate it, no!” Jacob cried loudly, laughing so hard, still over Harry’s shoulder. “And it’s my turn to bowl…”

“Nope, I think I might take all your turns for you,” Harry threatened, setting Jacob on his feet, laughing as the boy ran off, frantically grabbing a ball and lining up before lobbing it down the lane. It knocked seven pins, and Jacob whirled around, poking his tongues at his dads, who were hugging again.

“You’re a great dad,” Louis said softly, looking up at Harry. “You’re always there for Jake, and that means so much to me, you know.”

“Well, he’s my son, of course I’m going to be there for him,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips gently. “I hope we get some of the paperwork back soon, the adoption stuff I mean. It’s been a couple of months now. I thought I would have heard something by now.”

“Yeah, but you know this official stuff takes time, love. It’s gonna happen eventually, so don’t worry about it. You’re his daddy, no matter what a piece of paper says.” They watched together as Jacob rolled his last ball, clapping when he saw he came in second, only eight points behind Louis. Harry didn't even care what his score was, all that mattered was that he’d had a fun time with his boys, and Louis had a genuine smile on his face.

“I know. But it’s nice of you to say that, so thank you babe. Wanna grab some pizzas on the way home? I can’t be bothered to cook tonight.” Louis nodded and smiled down when Jacob came over, sliding his hand into his, grinning up at his parents. “I’m sure a certain someone will never say no to pizza for tea…”

“PIZZA!! Can we have pepperonly?”

“Only if you can say it…” Louis teased, smirking to Harry, knowing Jacob really struggled with the word.

“Peppey- peppolon - I can’t say it!” Jacob cried, almost on the verge of tears. “Please, it’s my favourite!” He pouted, and Harry laughed, knowing full well Louis couldn’t say no to that face.

“Alright, pepperoni for you, and-”

“Ham and pineapple for me and Dad!” Harry said with a wink, Louis looking disgusted at the thought. “Haha, just kidding Lou, cheesy one for us. Come on Tomlinson’s, let’s get our shoes and get home.” He smiled across as Louis tangled their hands together, and they all walked off in a little line, Harry feeling more part of his family than he had in a long time.

*****

“Thank you so much for the lovely dinner, Anne,” Louis said, leaning it to hug his mother-in-law tightly. He appreciated that Anne hadn’t made a huge fuss over their appearance, instead just acting as she normally would around the couple, letting Jacob assist her with the preparation of the meal, and the conversation flowed easily as they ate together.

“You’re welcome anytime, darling,” she said, kissing his cheek. They both turned and smiled fondly at Harry who had a sleeping Jacob in his arms. The poor boy had fallen asleep on the sofa while the adults had chatted, and Harry hadn’t the heart to wake him, picking him gently, making Louis grateful for how wonderful his husband was. “Say goodbye to that little one for me when he wakes up.”

“Will do, but I bet he won’t wake up til morning. We’ll just get him into bed and leave him, I think,” Louis said softly, following Harry out to the car, watching how gently Harry maneuvered him around. “Bye Anne, thanks again.”

“Bye love, and bye Harry, pop by if you’re free next week, yeah?”

“Will do, Mum.” Harry rounded the car and hugged his mum, calling bye to Robin who was sleepy in his armchair in the sitting room. “Thanks for dinner, see you soon. Love you.” He kissed her cheek and jogged around, keen to get his sleeping son and his husband home. The drive home was quick thanks to the fact the roads were quiet, and he carried Jacob inside and up to bed, Louis pulling off his clothes and tucking him under his quilt and blanket. They both kissed him and crept out of the room and downstairs.

Harry insisted Louis sit down and get comfortable while he made them both cups of teas, coming to join his husband on the sofa. He frowned as Louis shuffled forwards, patting the space behind him.

“Sit with me?” Louis asked and Harry nodded, sliding in behind him, Louis resting back against his chest. Louis pulled Harry’s arms around his waist and tilted his head back for a soft kiss. “I’ve missed this.” Louis spoke so quietly that Harry nearly missed it, but he certainly didn't miss how Louis snuggled back into his body, a soft lavender blanket pulled up over their legs. “I’m sorry there’s been such a distance between us. I’m just grateful you didn't give up on me or our marriage.”

“It’d take more than that to scare me away. I love you and our son too much to let you go that easily.” Harry allowed Louis to pull him down into another lazy kiss, his hands on Louis’ hips as he encouraged him to turn slowly until Louis’ side was against his chest, Louis’ free hand sliding up and under Harry’s soft jumper. Harry almost purred at the touch, and reached down, trying to adjust the slight problem he had going on in his trousers. He didn't want Louis to feel under any pressure, and to be honest, was just enjoying the intimacy of their kisses, something he’d missed terribly over the past few weeks.

“Shit, sorry,” Harry mumbled, pushing his dick to the side and away from Louis. Louis, however, looked up and moved his hand down until he was cupping Harry’s length on top of his jogging bottoms, squeezing gently. Harry’s breath hitched, and he bit down on Louis’ lip slightly, seeing a slight change in his husband’s eyes. “Lou, we don’t have to-”

“I want to,” Louis muttered, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Harry’s trousers, pulling them down carefully. Harry lifted his bum so Louis could pull them off, taking one leg out and then the other as they were splayed either side of his body, and he turned onto his knees, still massaging Harry through the thin cotton of his boxers. “Can I... “

“Whatever you want,” Harry hurried to say, wanting Louis to know this was okay with him, but at the same time, there was no pressure from him to do anything at all. “Lou…”

“Can I suck you off?” Louis asked, his hand dipping into Harry’s boxers, taking his length in hand and stroking gently. Harry shuddered and nodded, letting Louis kiss him as his hand worked over him for a few minutes, Harry rapidly becoming fully hard under his husband’s attention. Although they’d had sex the other night, it had been very emotional and was about reconnecting, not getting off. Now though, Harry wanted Louis to make him come, and he wanted to watch him do it.

Louis moved around on the sofa until he was kneeling between Harry’s legs, and pulled his boxers down enough for Harry’s cock to pop free. Louis licked his lips and looked up at Harry, whose pupils were blown, a red blush on his cheeks. “I love you, Harry,” he whispered before he shuffled backwards, dipping down and taking the tip of Harry’s cock between his lips.

Harry bit back a groan before he quietened himself, aware their son was asleep upstairs, and he certainly didn't want to be caught in a compromising position. Louis’ tongue whirled around the head and into his slit as his small hand gripped the base, working over what he couldn’t fit into his mouth. It was erotic somehow. Before everything that had happened, they enjoyed sex frequently, but somehow, the pleasure of a simple blow-job seemed to have been forgotten amongst the other amazing sexual things they now did together. Right now, Harry had no idea why they didn't do this anything other than on a daily basis.

He looked down, his hands resting gently on the top of Louis’ head, carefully guiding his motions as Louis’ head dipped up and down, his eager mouth getting Harry’s cock wet with spit, swallowing down the beads of precome Harry knew were pouring from him, ridiculously turned on at the sight in front of him.

“You look so fucking beautiful,” he choked out, voice low with lust and desire, trying not to moan as Louis sucked harder, his cheekbones more prominent when he did so, turning Harry even more. Louis kept flicking his eyes up to meet Harry’s from under his eyelashes, knowing how much Harry loved eye contact whenever they did anything to do with sex. He pulled off for a second, licking his lips, still stroking Harry’s cock with his hand.

“Taste good,” he said before he sunk back down, taking Harry’s cock as far as he could before he gagged. He knew Harry wasn’t going to last from the small bucks of his hips as he sucked, and the way Harry was trying to gently fist his hands in Louis’ hair, but Louis wanted him to come, wanted to push him over the edge and feel his husband’s release in his mouth. He needed that now; he wanted to feel close to Harry again. He was grinding his own erection down against the sofa too, aware his own orgasm wasn’t too far away.

“Lou, pull off, gonna come-” Harry said, but Louis just sucked harder, telling Harry wordlessly what he wanted. Harry moaned and pushed his hips up one more time before Louis’ mouth flooded with Harry’s come, quickly swallowing it down, his own hips moving faster now against the sofa as he came in his own underwear, Harry’s cock still in his mouth.

Harry gently tugged on his hair, pulling him off and whimpered when his cock fell from Louis’ lips, watching him lick his lips of any remaining come. His eyes drifted down to where a wet patch was forming at the front of Louis’ jeans, and Louis could feel a blush on his own cheeks. “You’re so good at that, made me feel so good, baby,” Harry muttered, and Louis smiled, tucking Harry back into his boxers before he cuddled against his body again. “I’d offer to help, but I think you sorted yourself out…”

“Well, you kinda did help sort me out. Sucking you off turned me on so much, you have no idea. I’ve missed doing that,” Louis said with a shrug, closing his eyes as his head rested against Harry’s chest. There was silence for a little while as they laid cuddled up together, the news on quiet in the background.

“Lou, can I ask you something?” Harry spoke softly into the darkness of the room, the only glow coming from the television. Louis nodded, not wanting to use words. Harry cleared his throat and adjusted them until he could look down at Louis. “Don’t be upset, just listen. What would you say if I suggested we went to marriage counselling together?”

Louis’ eyes flew open and he went to speak but Harry stopped him, eyes full of love and hope.

“Not because our marriage is in trouble, because it isn’t. I want to be with you, and that’s it. I just… I think maybe it would do you good to talk to someone about what’s been going on, about how you feel-”

“Harry, I don’t think so. I don’t want to burden someone else with my problems, they don’t need to hear all that.”

“Lou…”

“I just don’t think my problems are big enough. Counselors should be helping people who have _real_ issues. There are so many people out there who really need their time, and I don’t feel like I’m one of them. They probably have more important matters to deal with and don’t want to hear about my shit.” Louis continued, cutting Harry off.

“But they do, Lou. That’s their job. And it’s my job as your husband to help you through this, and I think it would help you. I know you, and I know you wouldn’t want to do it alone. That’s why I’m suggesting I go with you. You know how much Katie has helped me and Jake after the accident. If it’s not her you want to talk to, we’ll find someone else. But I’m here for you, and I want to do this with you, to help you.”

“You don’t think that it’s like, not manly or something, to go to a marriage counsellor?”

“Seriously, Lou? No. Not at all. I know how much it’s helped me to see a counsellor about the accident, and we don’t have to tell anyone at all what we’re doing. My mum will take Jake, we’ll just tell her we have some errands to do or something. But I really think it’s worth a shot, together. Please?”

Louis pondered it over for a few minutes, unsure he could actually verbalise what he was feeling to a stranger, but for Harry, he wanted to try. He really did. He wanted everything to be okay with his husband, and he felt that having Harry by his side through something like this could be a good thing, a positive thing for them to share.

“Okay. But I want you to be there. Don’t, like, leave me alone in there with the counsellor or whatever, I don’t think I’d like that. I… I want to do it with you.”

“You’re so fucking brave,” Harry whispered before he kissed Louis again, holding him tightly to his body. “I love you. Thank you. I’ll sort something out, okay? Don’t you worry about anything, let me do this for us.”

“Thank you. I… I don’t know how I got so lucky.” He huddled up against Harry for a few minutes until he looked up, seeing how sleepy Harry was, and how he was on the verge of dozing off himself. “Carry me to bed?”

“It’d be my pleasure,” Harry said, carefully getting to his feet and draping the blanket over the back of the sofa, picking Louis up into his arms bridal style. Louis rested his hand on Harry’s cheek, pulling his face down into a kiss before Harry started climbing the stairs. “Love you, Lou. Let’s go.”

“Love you more,” Louis mumbled, eyes shutting against Harry’s chest. “Always more.”


	58. Just Give Me A Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis begin to build bridges and look to the future of their marriage together. Harry struggles with work.

 

"Lou… I’m ready, please baby-” Harry begged, tears filling his eyes as the override of pleasure from Louis’ fingers took over. He had been woken up by Louis palming him in the early hours of the morning, and things hadn’t stopped since then. Louis had been insistent on working his fingers gently inside Harry, and even when Harry had been begging for more, Louis hadn’t given in. He had, however, allowed Harry to suck him off for a short while, straddling his chest and gazing down at Harry before he’d pulled away again. 

While they may not have been talking a huge amount, Louis had certainly been determined to get things back on track with Harry sexually. He hadn’t let Harry shower alone since he had had his breakdown a week ago, and had ensured to snuggle with him at every opportunity on the sofa in the evenings, showing affection through cuddles, kisses and, more often than not, quiet sex in the late hours on the night, or, like now, the early hours in the morning while their son slept down the corridor.

“Wanna make love to you Harry, you want that baby?” Harry whimpered and nodded, pulling at Louis’ shoulder to bring their lips together. He gasped as Louis suddenly lined up and pushed inside him, bottoming out quickly and smoothly. Louis quickly began to move, rolling his hips gently until he built up a good and steady rhythm, kissing Harry through everything. Instead of being lust-filled and desperate, it was loving, as it had been for the past week.

Louis grabbed Harry’s left hand and held it in his own next to Harry’s face, the pair kissing deeply as Louis continued to move between Harry’s spread thighs. Harry’s feet were on Louis’ back, his legs squeezing tightly around Louis’ waist, and it was a moment Harry never wanted to forget. He opened his eyes and stared into Louis’, their blue and green eyes meeting as they made love to each other, connecting in the way they wanted and needed to. 

“Love you so much, best husband in the whole world, want you forever,” Louis muttered against Harry’s lips, words that had been used heavily lately by Louis towards Harry. Harry had to admit he loved hearing them, loved Louis telling him how he meant to him, and at moments like these, they never felt more true. “Be mine forever, Haz?”

“Never want anyone else- ah!” Harry cried out as Louis did a particularly deep thrust, and he squeezed Louis’ hand tight, both of them hurtling quickly towards their orgasms. “Fuck, Louis- so good, love you so fucking much- oh god-” He shut his eyes as his body shifted up and down the mattress with Louis’ movements, and he hummed in pleasure as Louis spilled inside him, still muttering words of love against Harry’s lips, his body shaking with the force of his orgasm.

Louis reached down and wrapped his fingers around his husband’s cock then, tugging him quickly to orgasm, Louis clamping his lips down on Harry’s to stop him making any more noise and waking Jacob up. They were both panting and sweaty until they came down from their highs, Louis collapsed entirely on top of Harry by now. Reluctantly, Louis got onto his knees and pulled his soft cock out of Harry’s body, both wincing at the withdrawal. They both silently got out of bed together and slipped into the ensuite bathroom, getting under the warm spray of the shower.

Louis looped his arms around Harry's waist as he rested his head on Harry’s bare chest, the water falling over them and keeping them warm. They didn't speak, just enjoyed the time together before Harry pulled away, washing Louis’ body carefully, making sure the shampoo stayed away from his eyes. When they were both washed and clean, and had spent a little while longer kissing, they got out, soft towels around their waists. 

“Love you,” Louis whispered as they snuggled back under the sheets together, completely naked. Their legs were entwined, Louis’ small and cold feet pressing against Harry’s warmer skin, keeping them both warm. 

“I love you, too. How are you feeling about today?” Harry asked, running his fingers through Louis’ damp hair. His husband’s face was lit up by the slither of sunlight streaming in now through the curtains, and Harry thought he’d never looked more beautiful. He could see a slight shut down in Louis’ demeanour, the way his eyes drifted away and he tucked two fingers under his chin, making their eyes meet again. “Hey, talk to me. Remember we spoke about this, how you need to let me know how you’re feeling so things don’t get back to the state we got in before?”

“I know, sorry, it’s just… it’s not always that easy,” Louis admitted, letting Harry hold his hand gently. “To be honest, I’m fucking terrified Haz.”

“I’ll be there, you know. Every step of the way, I’ll be by your side, like I always am. This is just the first one, and sure, it might not be easy, but we have to try, okay?” Louis nodded and kissed his lips gently. They stilled as they heard Jacob’s little feet on the floor, and then the toilet flushing, and Louis quickly grabbed the boxers he’d dumped on his bedside table, both of them wriggling into them under the sheets before a slight knock was heard on their door. “Come in, love,” Harry called, and they both smiled as Jacob came in, his body clad in his little dinosaur print pyjamas.

“Can I come in for a cuddle?” he asked, rubbing at his eyes wearily. Louis nodded and held up the edge of his duvet, Jacob’s little body wriggling into the space. He laid down so he was facing Louis, his little bum resting against Harry’s bare belly. “Where is Auntie Fizzy taking me this morning?” Louis looked deep into his son’s bright blue eyes and smiled, rubbing his nose gently with his own.

“She’s taking you to see the new Spiderman film, and yes, before you ask, you’re allowed to have some popcorn.”

“Yes!” The little boy fist-pumped in the air, making both Louis and Harry laugh quietly. “But am I coming home tea?”

“Of course, Fiz is bringing you back when you’re done at the film.” They cuddled and talked for a little while longer until Jacob’s tummy was growling unpleasantly, Jacob begging for pancakes which Harry happily agreed to make. He and Louis pulled on some clothes as Jacob skipped ahead of them down the stairs, cuddling a very excited Percy at the bottom. Louis sat with Jake and Percy as Harry set about making pancakes.

A few hours later, Jacob had had a shower and was wearing his new Iron Man t-shirt along with his smart blue jeans and Converse. The doorbell rang and Harry held Percy in his arms as Jacob and Louis answered it. Harry trapped Percy in the kitchen for a minute while he hugged and kissed Jacob goodbye, giving him some money to put in his little wallet for popcorn and a drink at the cinema. Louis and Harry stood at the door, arms around each other’s waists as they waved Jacob off, the little boy more than excited to spend the afternoon with his aunt.

After he’d gone, they got ready themselves, Harry hovering nervously in the hallway as he waited for Louis to appear, hoping he hadn’t had second thoughts. Soon though, Louis appeared, in a light blue button down and black skinny jeans, a nervous expression on his face. He didn't speak, instead, he nodded to Harry and kissed his lips quickly before they both headed out to the car. Harry slid in behind the steering wheel and Louis chose not to play any music on the short journey.

They exited the vehicle together and Harry took Louis’ hand as they walked into the building, stopping together at the familiar reception desk. They waited for the man sat behind it to finish his phone call, fingers still linked, Louis’ eyes darting around. It was a place they both knew well, but Louis still felt nervous thanks to the reason he was here.

“Oh hello, we have an appointment with Dr Chandler.”

“Okay, can I take your names please?”

“Louis and Harry Tomlinson.”

*****

A short while later, Harry held Louis’ hand as they headed down the corridor, knocking gently on the dark wooden door he had brought Jacob to so many times before. A soft voice beckoned them in and he pushed the door open, allowing Louis to walk past him and into the small room. Dr Chandler was sat behind her desk, but as the two men approached, she stood up, a welcoming smile on her face.

“Lovely to see you both, come and take a seat,” she said, pointing over to the brown sofa alongside one wall. Harry watched as Louis nodded and scuttled over, his body tense and shoulders hunched, as if trying to protect himself from whatever was to come. Dr Chandler, or Katie as she insisted they call her, came and sat herself in the armchair near the sofa, a notebook and pen in her hand. “So, would one you like to explain what you are here for, the reason you have both come to me?”

Harry looked over to Louis and saw his husband’s gaze was locked on the floor. He reached for his hand and took it as he began to speak, knowing Louis wasn’t going to divulge anything. He needed to feel comfortable in order to speak, and Harry knew it might take a while for that to happen.

“We’ve had a bit of a tough time lately at home. Um, I don’t know if Jacob’s said anything to you about us arguing, but it’s been rough. I’m not placing any blame because I think there’s fault on both of our parts in some ways, but, well... “ he stopped for a second, concerned his words were going to upset Louis, and that was the last thing he wanted. “Louis found things a bit much for a while and, um, instead of opening up to me, he shut down and things fell apart for a while.”

“I see. Was this prompted by anything?” she asked, jotting down notes in her purple book. 

“Jacob got a confirmed diagnosis of dyslexia at school shortly after we returned from LA, that’s the only thing I can put it down to. I don’t think it was the cause, but it certainly seemed to be the trigger factor.”

“Louis, would you agree with that?” Harry glanced over to see Louis just shrug, fiddling with the cuff of his shirt, eyes not moving from his lap. “I understand this is difficult, Louis, but I am hoping that you would feel comfortable enough here with myself and Harry to speak up. In this room, there is no judgment from anybody, nor will you held accountable in any way for the things that you speak about. This isn’t marriage counselling as I would traditionally call it. I just want to help you, both of you. It’s a big step that you’re here today Louis, so well done.”

Harry squeezed his hand gently then Louis sighed, as if he wanted to speak but didn't know what to say. 

“I guess… Jacob’s dyslexia was the final straw really. Things had been on top of me for a while, just work and the puppy and stuff, and instead of talking to Harry, I let it build into this big thing. It was hanging over me, and the more I hid it away, the bigger it became. I'm not very good at talking to people, especially about my feelings.”

“Okay. I can see how it might be hard to confess to your husband you’re struggling. Harry, can I ask how you felt when Louis began to pull away from you?”

Harry shifted awkwardly in his seat, not particularly liking being put on the spot like this. However, he knew that if they stood any chance of these counselling sessions helping Louis in anyway then he had to be honest and open, and not afraid to say the truth, no matter how confronting it might be initially.

“You okay?” he whispered to Louis, who nodded, so Harry took a deep breath and began. “I mean, I guess I just didn't understand it at first. Louis was distant and closed off, and I couldn’t fathom why. I kept looking at myself, wondering what I’d done wrong, if I’d said something to upset him or done something. We had had such an amazing time in LA, winning the Grammy, and then everything just turned, and I just… it was horrible. Really hard.” He looked over and saw Louis swallowing, his cheeks pink as he listened to Harry.

“That’s not uncommon Harry, that you blamed yourself. As the days went by, I assume things didn't get any better between you and Louis?”

“No. If anything, he distanced himself more, not joining in with family meals, leaving me to deal with Percy and Jacob on my own most nights, and we stopped, um, well…”

“You stopped being intimate?” Katie asked, remaining professional as always.

“Yes. We stopped having sex, and Louis didn't even intitiate a kiss or a hug with me. To be honest, I almost found this harder than any other aspect of what was happening between us. Lou and I have always been very… active, in the bedroom, so when Lou pulled away with both talking to me, and with sex, it was really difficult.”

“Sexual intimacy between a couple is very important, Harry, there is nothing wrong with missing that side of your relationship at all. Sex is a natural part of a relationship. Do you want to continue, Harry, tell us how things progressed between the two of you?”

“I think what really hurt was when Louis withdrew from our family life. Our puppy, Percy, was waking up all hours, kind of like a newborn I guess, and it was rough. Lou sleeps like the dead so he didn't hear, but I felt he was leaving it to me. I was tired and grumpy, and then I had to deal with everything else too. He just felt like he was drifting away from me, and I was struggling to hold everything together. My family and my marriage were falling apart in front of my eyes, and I just felt powerless to stop it.”

Katie nodded and Harry took in a shaky breath, relief flooding his body as he started to get out everything that had been bottled up. As much as he was pleased Louis was opening up and getting the support he needed, he also had a need to talk to someone that was either of their mothers, and this was the opportunity he’d been waiting for.

After the night he’d initially spoken to Louis about the two seeing a marriage counsellor, he’d phoned the next morning and made the first appointment he could. Louis had seemed shocked when Harry had told him, as if he hadn’t realised it was really going to be happening, but Harry knew if he didn't, things would never start to heal properly. He knew Louis wasn’t fully on board with the idea, but he hoped that since he knew how much Katie had helped Jacob, and how much speaking to another counsellor had helped Harry, that he would go into it with an open mind.

“Truthfully, though… I missed my husband. Lou was always the one I could go to after a bad day and talk to. He was always such a good listener, he would stroke my hair while I cried, or ranted, or whatever it was I needed, and he’d make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Then… he was gone. I was struggling, I was low and the person I needed, the person I knew I could trust and rely on above anyone else in the whole world… he wasn’t there-” Harry stopped talking when he heard a noise next to him, looking over, his face falling when he realised Louis was crying.

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, please don’t cry-” 

“It’s fine-” Louis sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve before Katie passed him a box of tissues. Harry watched as Louis pulled a couple from it, dabbing under his eyes gently. “I… I knew this would be hard, hearing you admit things about that time. I just… I hate myself for this. I hate that I hurt you, and I hate that I made you doubt how much I love you.”

“Louis, can Harry continue? I think for this first session it’s important we get Harry’s perspective, and then we can move onto you later in the session, or at our next meeting.”

“Sure.” Louis nodded and curled himself against the arm of the sofa, hands visibly trembling in his lap. “Just- I can’t promise I won’t cry again, but Harry, please don’t stop. I need to hear this, we have to get through this.”

“Okay.” Harry exhaled and started fiddling with his wedding ring, a subconscious gesture he began to do whenever he was anxious about something. Louis knew this and looked down, and upon seeing the action, he reached over, placing his hands on top of Harry’s, the pair sharing a quick smile. 

Harry continued to talk about it, how the silence and gulf between him and Louis had affected him, how it broke his heart to go to bed every night without affection from his husband, and how much he just missed Louis. Harry ended up shedding several tears, Louis turning to hug him at times, only breaking away when he knew Harry was okay, and ready to speak again. The hour long session felt like a lot more than that, but at the same time, it felt like they had only just started to scratch the surface of everything that had transpired between them.

Louis held Harry’s hand tightly as they walked out, sitting quietly in the car, neither man wanting to move. Harry stared out of the windscreen for a few minutes, Louis staring out of his passenger window as they contemplated what had just taken place between them. 

“Thank you,” Louis whispered into the silence of the car. 

“For what?” Harry replied, turning his body to face Louis’, holding Louis’ hand when he saw tears shining in Louis’ eyes again. He hated seeing his husband cry like he had done today, but somehow, Harry knew these tears were different.

“For being honest. I… It’s not easy to hear, but I get why I have to. As much as I don’t want to come back here next week, I know I…  _ we _ have to, together. I want this marriage, Harry. I hope you know that, that I never, ever wanted us to be apart. When I promised myself to you over a year ago when we got married, I meant forever. And I still do.”

“Me too.” Harry leaned in and they kissed gently, full of love and passion for each other. “Jake’s gonna be home soon, shall we head off?” Louis nodded, holding Harry close for another few kisses before he sat back in his seat, the pair of them fastening their seatbelts before Harry started the car and headed home.

*****

“Good boy, gimme a high five!” Louis cheered, loving the big grin on Jacob’s face as he realised he’d gotten all his spellings right. The little boy had spent a lot of time with the SEN team at school since his diagnosis, working on new ways of learning his spellings. Louis had read up a lot as well, and was now keen to help out much more with his son. Harry had been out on a walk with Percy, and Louis was now sat at the kitchen table with their son, doing his homework. Usually, Harry liked to do homework with Jacob, but Louis wanted to be more involved, and Harry could never deny him anything.

“I can’t believe it! I really like this way, Mr Fox said I’m getting super better now.”

“You really are, I’m so proud of you,” Louis smiled, ruffling his son’s hair. “Let’s look at the next one, shall we?” Jacob nodded and focused his attention down on the papers in front of him, tucking a pencil between his lips, sucking on the end. 

“Can I show Daddy when he gets home-” He jumped as the door opened behind them, Percy scrabbling around on the floor, shaking off his coat, bits of dirty flying around. 

“Bloody dog, get back here!” Harry laughed, helplessly holding the lead in his hand, watching his crazy puppy running around between Louis and Jacob’s legs under the table. “He is just too excitable. He’s been walked for an hour… how is he not tired?”

“Daddy says I never get tired, and I have endless energy,” Jacob interrupted, a serious expression on his face. “Maybe cos we’re brothers, we’re the same?” Louis and Harry’s eyes met for a minute, and they smiled innocently at each other.

“Maybe, love,” Harry said, hanging up Percy’s lead by the back door. He quickly filled up Percy’s water dish with some fresh water, the thirsty puppy lapping at it like he hadn’t had a drink for a week, splashing water droplets all over the floor around him. “What are you two up to then?”

“Dad’s helping me with my homework,” Jacob answered, turning back to to the work he was looking at before. “I got them all right so far, look!” Harry bent over Jacob’s back and smiled as he looked down at the neat handwriting, and the ticks Louis had proudly placed beside them.

“That’s cos you’re my superstar,” Harry said, pressing a kiss to the top of Jacob’s head before turning to Louis and doing the same. “Since you’re both busy, I’m gonna go and do some work in the studio, that okay with you two?”

“Course it is, have fun. I’ll bring you a cuppa in a bit,” Louis said, sending Harry a wink before his husband walked off. “You want a drink before we carry on, Jake?”

“Can I have milkshake since I’ve been so good?” Jacob asked, batting his eyelashes up at Louis, making his dad laugh.

“Yeah, alright then. Banana or strawberry?” Louis asked, stepping over to the cupboard and holding up the pots of Nesquik.

“Banana, please!” Jacob cried, reading through his passage of work again while Louis made the drink, setting it down in front of him, complete with a blue and white stripey straw inside the glass. “Dad, this word is hard, can you help me?”

“Definitely,” Louis said, shuffling his chair closer to Jacob again. “Let’s do this.”

*****

A couple of hours later, Louis slid the pasta dish into the oven and picked up the glass of water he’d just poured for Harry, ice cubes floating at the top. He headed through the house, smiling at his son who was curled on the sofa, Percy next to him as Jacob’s favourite TV show playing on the big television mounted to the wall.

He stopped outside the studio, pressing his ear to the closed door to make sure he wasn’t interrupting Harry recording anything before he knocked gently at the door. There was no noise, so Louis pushed the handle down and walked through. The room was dark, and he peered around, seeing Harry’s body laid out on the long sofa he’d bought specially for the space.

“Hey love,” Harry mumbled as Louis came in, leaving the door ajar in case Jacob needed either of them. “Oh, thank you.” He took the cold glass from Louis’ hand and sipped at the cool liquid, setting it down on a table behind his head. “Homework done?”

“Yeah, and dinner’s in the oven,” he said, lifting up Harry’s legs and laying them on his lap. He frowned when Harry almost immediately picked them back up but it softened when he watched Harry get up and turn himself around, laying back down with his head on Louis’ thighs. He rolled slightly onto his side so he could look up at his husband, and reached for Louis’ hand, pulling it over until it rested in his curls, loose and soft from the conditioner Louis had lovingly massaged into them that morning in the shower. “How’s it going?”

“It’s not,” Harry sighed, closing his eyes as he buried his face against Louis’ soft tummy. “It’s just… it’s not happening, Lou, and I don’t know why. I’ve never struggled writing music before. I can’t…. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, love,” Louis said, twirling a lock of Harry’s hair around his fingers before coming down to stroke Harry’s stubbly cheek, secretly loving the fact Harry hadn’t shaved for a couple of days. “Can I do anything to help?”

“Nah, but thank you for offering,” Harry said, smiling up at Louis. “Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow when you and Jake are at school. Something will come to me soon, I’m sure of it.” Louis nodded and pressed the pad of his index finger to Harry’s lips, Harry kissing it gently. “Not like me to get writer’s block.”

“You’ll sort it. I believe in you. All those amazing songs you’ve written before… there’s so many more in you. I know there is, and I cannot wait to hear them. You know I think you’re amazing, and your music is just- Jesus Christ, Jacob!”

Jacob skidded to a halt on the floor where he’d banged his way into the studio, a guilty expression on his face. “Oops.”

“Oops is right, young man. You could have damaged something running in like that.” Louis never liked chastising his son, but now he was getting bigger, he needed to make him more aware that he needed to take care around their home, and that things needed to be respected. “What do you to say to Dad, please?”

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to bang the door,” Jacob said, walking over slowly and hugging his parents before settling on Harry’s lap. The three of them were just a big tangle of limbs on the sofa, and Harry felt more at home here, right now, than he had in weeks. “Are you singing, Dad?”

“Nah, bud. I was trying to write some new songs, but it didn't work for me today.”

“That’s sad. Maybe I can write you a song to sing sometime, maybe next time it’s wet play at school.” Louis and Harry chuckled at that, nodding at Jacob.

“That’d be cool, thanks love,” Harry said, carefully sitting up, holding Jacob around the waist so he wouldn’t fall off. “You wanna go and do a bit of singing in the booth?” Jacob’s grin was huge and he nodded so vigorously, Harry was worried for a second he’d give himself a headache. Harry stood up, holding Jacob against him despite the fact he was getting a bit too big to be carried about. “Come on then.”

Louis watched with fond eyes as Harry set Jacob up with the special headphones he’d got for him, and lowered the microphone so it was in front of Jacob’s mouth. Harry tapped away at the computer system in front of him until  _ Sign of the Times _ started coming through the sound system in the studio. The door creaked open as Percy trotted in and Louis reached forward, scooping up the growing puppy and plonking him on his lap.

“Hey, let’s listen to Jake, yeah?” he muttered, stroking the dog between his ears. Louis sat back and watched proudly as Jacob started to sing the lines out loud, the songs as familiar to him as anything else by now. Despite the fact Harry had been in his life as his father for nearly two years now, Jacob was still Harry’s biggest fan and loved his music more than anything. It was still the most played thing on his iPod, and it never failed to make Louis proud when he watched the pair together like this.

Harry got off his stool and dragged it over, hoisting Jacob up onto his thigh as they started to sing together, Harry harmonising with ease. Louis shut his eyes and let the sound of their voices wash over him. The song eventually came to an end, and his eyes flew open as the loud opening notes of Kiwi blasted in the room. Jacob was bouncing around in the booth singing at the top of his lungs now as Harry slipped out, laughing at his crazy son.

He grabbed Louis around the waist and started singing to him, the pair dancing as Jacob continued to completely lose himself in the song, rocking out in the way only nearly 8 year old boys could. 

“This,” Harry mumbled during an instrumental, his eyes still locked on Jacob in the booth, dancing away, “this is what I’ve missed. Our little family, having fun, laughing, smiling. This is us, to me. Our little Tomlinson family. Me, my hubby and our son.”

“Yeah, I love our family,” Louis replied, tilting his head for a quick kiss.

“Together we can do anything, Lou. I mean it. Whether it’s just you, me and Jake forever, or if we add to our family at some point, we’re perfect. You make me so happy, I hope you know that. I’m so proud that you’re talking to me now. I love you, Louis Tomlinson.”

“And I love you, Harry Tomlinson.” They kissed for a minute until a loud shriek interrupted them, the two men pulling apart and laughing at Jacob’s appalled expression behind the glass of the booth. 

“Stop kissing and sing! You’re always kissing and it’s gross!” He shouted, hands on his hips, looking uncannily like Louis when he had a strop on.

“Shall we dance?” Harry said, pulling back from Louis, holding out a hand to his husband who easily slotted his inside.

“Always.” 


	59. Love Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day. Jacob has a fun surprise for his parents, and Louis and Harry show each other how much they still love one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title was entirely inspired by Lukas Graham's beautiful new song 'Love Someone'. The lyrics are perfect for this. Please do [read them](https://genius.com/Lukas-graham-love-someone-lyrics) and listen to the song. I imagine it very much from Louis to Harry.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments, I love reading and replying to them all :)
> 
> Massive thanks to Liz for this one :)

Louis sighed and rubbed at his face, the question turning over in his mind. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know why it felt easier to push Harry away. I guess… I didn't think he’d understand, that… he would hate me if he saw who I really was-”

“Louis, I-”

“Harry, please. You need to let Louis speak, he needs to be heard.” Katie was firm with Harry and he nodded, closing his mouth, his eyes falling on Louis’ again as he prepared himself to listen to his husband put himself down once more.

“I felt I was weak. That by letting things affect me as I did, that I was weak and a terrible husband and father. It was easier to put on a brave face to everyone else, and push Harry away than it was to admit the truth - that I was struggling, and I needed help. I kind of see it now, that Haz is always there, and something like this wouldn’t ever make him leave, but I couldn’t see it then. It became overwhelming, and the bigger I allowed it to become, the more space it took up inside my head until I couldn’t see straight anymore.”

Harry sighed, and reached for Louis’ hand, wordlessly linking their fingers, his way of reassuring himself that he was there, that he and Louis were in this together. Louis gave him a wobbly smile, and Harry returned it, hoping Louis could sense the love in his touch, and his eyes.

“When I broke and told Harry what was going on… it was like a weight had been lifted, like I was unburdening myself somehow. It hurt, and I was petrified that it would make him run, but… it didn't. He stayed right where he was, beside me. And I think that I know now that he won’t run, not from me. He’s the one I can run to when I need someone. I hate that it took such a big thing for me to realise that.”

“The fact that you can acknowledge that Louis is a big step for you, and for your marriage. You’re recognising that Harry is your person, the one you can go to for whatever you need, and you can trust that he will be there for you, to always catch you when you fall. Your mindset may not change overnight, you may still find yourself pulling away from Harry but recognising when you are is a big deal.”

“He did the other day,” Harry said in a rush. It had been a whole week since their last counselling session. The other evening had seen Louis becoming quiet and withdrawn, although he’d tried to put on a brave face for Jacob. Harry had seen right through it, and was ridiculously proud when Louis had come down from putting Jacob to bed and pulled Harry onto the sofa, telling him he was struggling.

They’d cuddled while Louis had told Harry what he was feeling and the reason behind it, and Harry had just patiently listened, supporting his husband as he always did. Louis had cried, Harry had wiped his tears, and Louis had felt validated for his feelings. Harry had just kissed him when they’d gone to bed, muttering words of love and pride as they’d fallen asleep, so pleased that Louis now saw him as someone to trust.

“Then that’s fantastic. I honestly think together with counselling, you two will find the light at the end of your tunnel, and that you are stronger together than you are apart, without a doubt. I see some couples who have marital problems that I’m not sure they can come back from. With you two… I don’t feel there is anything that could ever come between the two of you.”

Louis squeezed Harry’s hand then and scooted closer to him, warmed by Katie’s encouraging words.

“Your exercise for this week is a simple one. For one afternoon, or evening, I’d like you both unplug yourselves from all devices. No phones, no TV, no iPods, nothing. Just be together. Enjoy each other, talk, take a walk, share a bath, play a board game. Anything where you are together and alone. You think you can do that?” Louis nodded and Harry did too, mind already running away with him at the thought of spending some precious alone time with his husband. 

“Excellent. Your next appointment is booked for the same time next week, so I’ll see you both then. Say hi to Jacob for me.”

“We will, thanks so much,” Harry said, giving Katie a quick hug before Louis did the same. He held his hand out, bringing Louis’ up to his lips when Louis slid his in behind Harry’s before they hung between their bodies as they left the counselling offices for home. Harry drove them over to Anne’s, where Jacob had been while they had their appointment.

They let themselves into the house, Louis sniffing excitedly when he smelt something delicious the moment they stepped inside. Jacob came running in and jumped into Louis’ arms when he arrived, and Harry smiled at the scene, neatening out the pile of shoes in the hallway. His mum walked through then and Harry hugged and kissed the crown of her head before he turned his attention to his son. 

“Hey bub, how was school?”

“Amazing! We’re starting guitars after half term in Music, and I told the lady that came in to tell us that my Dad plays guitar and she said that’s super cool!” Harry laughed gently at that, ruffling Jacob’s hair. “And me and Nanny made dinner. Well, Grandad Robin said it’s not really cooking if we just put the pizzas from the freezer into the oven, but I told him off, cos that’s the only thing Daddy used to be able to cook that he didn't burn-”

Louis hurried over to slap a hand over Jacob’s mouth, not wanting his son to embarrass him any further. It was a bit late for that though because Harry was laughing, an arm slung around Anne’s shoulder, and Louis felt grateful that at least his mother-in-law was trying to hold back her giggles.

“I’m sure your pizzas were lovely, Lou. Can I get you boys a drink?” Louis and Harry requested tea, and it wasn’t long before the family were sat around the kitchen table, helping themselves to the pizzas that Anne had sliced and placed on boards in the middle. Jacob had a puddle of tomato sauce on his plate, and was chatting away about his friends while he ate, the grown ups sat around him a captive audience.

Jacob fell asleep on the sofa watching a nature documentary with Robin while Harry talked to Anne, and Louis answered a few work emails. 

“So, are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day tomorrow?” Anne asked, cocking her eyebrow as Harry started to blush slightly. “Robin’s taking me out for dinner, I think. He told me to make sure my best frock was ready, anyhow, subtle as a brick, isn’t he?”

“He’s lovely,” Harry said, loving the man his Mum was seeing as if he was his own father. “But yeah, I have a couple of plans. I think Jacob’s got something up his sleeve with Jay too as we’ve been told to make ourselves scarce tomorrow afternoon for a couple of hours. Not gonna lie, Mum, I’m scared.” Anne laughed at that, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I’m sure whatever that little boy has got planned, you will both love,” she said in a confident voice. “I’m just… I’m so pleased that you and Louis are getting back on track, love. I won’t deny I was very worried when you came to see me that afternoon to tell me you thought things were over. I’ve never seen anyone make you as happy as Louis and Jacob do.”

“No-one else ever will, they’re it for me, Mum. I’d fight for them until my last breath, and I think Lou knows that now. Well, I hope he does, at least.”

“He does,” came Louis’ soft voice from the doorway. The next thing Harry knew, Louis was draping his arms over his shoulders, kissing his head gently. “I love you so much, love. Ready to go home?”

Harry nodded and got up, not caring his mum was watching his and Louis’ every move. He hugged his husband close, ducking his head to peck Louis’ lips gently, pleased he and Louis were back in a place where he accepted simple affection again. Their sex life had certainly pepped up lately, but it was these more intimate, sweet gestures that Harry had really been craving, and he was making sure he made the most of each opportunity he got to show Louis how much he loved him.

“I love you, too. I’m ready if you are?” Louis smiled and rubbed noses with Harry, slipping his hands into Harry’s back pockets. They stayed like that for a few more moments until Louis extricated himself to go and get Jacob ready. “He’s my everything, Mum.”

“I know, sweetheart. Thank you for popping around, see you at the weekend?” Harry nodded and hugged her again before he followed Louis, grabbing Louis’ wrist and stopping him from waking their son. 

“I’ll carry him, Lou.” Louis nodded and shook Robin’s hand before he embraced Anne, kissing her cheek before he grabbed Jacob’s school things and watched as Harry easily lifted Jacob’s sleeping form, tucking his body against his chest. Harry carefully got him situated in his car seat before Louis draped his coat over him to keep him warm. They stayed quiet as they arrived home and Harry carried Jacob up to bed, Louis tugging off his little jeans and tucking him under the duvet. Both dads kissed his forehead before they pulled his door to, letting him sleep before they walked to their bedroom together.

“Early night?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded. They stripped off down to their boxers and Harry flicked on the TV in the corner of the room, filling the room with background noise while they got ready for bed. Harry slipped between the cool sheets first, snuggled down until Louis got into bed, curling around his husband’s smaller but warmer body. “Thank you for letting me talk today. It isn’t easy, any of this. But… you make it more… doable, I guess? I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

“You never have to,” Harry reassured him, pulling him into a kiss. It deepened for a moment until he pulled back, looking deeply into Louis’ eyes. “I promise, Lou. For as long as you want me, I’ll always be here, right by your side.”

“Always,” Louis replied, shuffling their bodies until his head was on Harry’s chest. “Until the end of time.”

*****

Harry was awoken by something insistently prodding at his bicep. He moaned for a second and rolled over before he heard something being whispered into his ear that he ignore.

“Dad, you need to get up. There’s a man with flowers at the door.” Harry frowned and sat up, rubbing blearily at his eyes, panic flooding his veins.

“You didn't open the door on your own, did you?” He said, frowning at Jacob.

“No, I’m not allowed. But I looked out of the sitting room and saw him and came to get you.” Harry smiled and nodded, swinging his legs out of bed as he tried to wake himself up a bit. 

“Good boy. Come down with me then.” He tugged a t-shirt over to his head as he pushed his hair back from his face, opening the door, hoping the guy wouldn’t take a picture of him looking such a mess. 

“Harry Tomlinson?”

“Um, yeah, that’s me,” Harry said, reaching for the clipboard the man was proferring, signing his name. “Wow, uh, thanks so much.” He grabbed the huge bunch of flowers in the man’s arms, biting his lip to mask his smile as the man nodded, heading back off down their driveway. “Oh my goodness, these are for me?”

“There’s a card!” Jacob squealed, jumping up and down next to Harry, excitement filling his little eyes. Harry bent down so Jacob could take it off the bunch and headed through to the kitchen, laying the flowers on the kitchen table while he got a vase from the top of the cabinets. He looked down to the bunch of flowers, smiling as he realised Louis had chosen so many of his favourites; calla lilies, hydrangeas, roses, peonies and more. The soft perfume was filling his senses, and he blinked back the tears as he set about removing the flowers and arranging them in the vase.

“Did you read the card, love?” Harry called over, watching Jacob pull it out of the little cream envelope, concentrating hard on the words in front of him. “Read it out to me?”

“Um, okay.” Jacob cleared his throat and read as clearly as he could, only stuttering over a few words. 

“ _ To my wonderful Harry. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control. I love you, now and always. Your Louis. _ ”

Jacob paused for a moment, then carried on. “Then he did like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7… 8 kisses at the bottom, Dad! Erm, why are you crying?”

Harry sniffed and wiped his eyes with his t-shirt, not really caring Jacob was seeing him be emotional. “That’s just… lovely, what your dad wrote. Come here, give me a hug.” Jacob put the card onto the table before he rushed into Harry’s arms, looping his skinny arms around Harry’s neck tightly. “Aren’t the flowers beautiful?” Jacob nodded, and kissed Harry’s cheek.

“I’m glad you and Daddy love each other again,” the little boy practically whispered. Harry frowned and pulled back slightly, sitting down, Jacob on his lap looking at him.

“Jake, we never stopped loving each other, sweetheart. Grown ups argue sometimes, but at no point did we ever not love each other. We’re married, and to us, that means we’re together forever. It’ll take a lot more than Daddy being a silly sausage for a while to get me to ever stop loving him.”

“You promise?” Jacob mumbled, his little clear blue eyes meeting Harry’s. 

“I promise. I will love you and I will love your dad until the end of time, and then probably even longer after that. Now, shall we go and wake Daddy up?” Jacob nodded but didn't relinquish his grip on Harry’s neck, so Harry wrapped his legs around his waist as he headed upstairs. Jacob ran to the toilet as Harry went into his bedroom, kissing Louis awake.

“Hey, beautiful,” he mumbled against Louis’ lips, smiling down at his sleepy husband. Louis stirred and his eyes cracked open, softening when he saw Harry’s green eyes looking down at him. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” They kissed again for a moment until Harry heard the toilet flush and gently sat up.  “Thank you for the flowers, sweetheart. They are so beautiful, and what you wrote…”

“Is true,” Louis finished, his hand coming up to cup Harry’s cheek softly. “Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” They kissed again until Jacob ran in, jumping on the bed between them, making both men laugh. “So, are you going to tell us what’s happening later then?” 

Jacob violently shook his head, his fringe flopping into his face. “Nope. Nanny Jay and me have decided it’s a super duper secret, so you can’t know anything until later on.” His little eyes shone with glee, and Louis grabbed Harry’s hand under the duvet. “Oh hang on, I made this at school in Golden Time!”

He ran off again, the sound of drawers banging in his room before he came back in, a folded piece of A4 paper in his hands. He proudly thrust it towards Harry and Louis, who were both sat up against the bedhead now, Harry taking it from him with a smile on his face. The bedside lamps were lighting the room as they hadn’t opened the curtains yet.

On the front was a handdrawn picture of what Harry took to be himself and Louis holding hands with Jacob, who was between them. Written above in childlike bubble writing were the words ‘HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY” coloured in all shades of red and pink that his classroom colouring tray possessed. Harry gently opened it, and he and Louis read the words silently in their heads. 

_ “To the best Dads in the hole werld. _

_ I hop you love each utha forever and ever becos I love you bowf so much. I am the luckeest boy ever to hav you to. _

_ Lots of love from Jacob William Edward Tomlinson XXXX” _

The message made Harry tear up for the second time that day, and he thrust the card towards Louis as he scooped Jacob up into his arms, hugging him tightly before releasing him so Louis could do the same.

“Thank you darling. We love you forever, and we love each other forever, too,” Louis reassured him, almost mirroring the words Harry had said to their son just a short while ago in the kitchen. They stayed there in bed for a while, the card propped up against the picture frame on Louis’ bedside table, a wedding photo of the three of them smiling broadly at the camera. 

Harry made them all pancakes for breakfast while Louis and Jacob made a pot of tea, and they sat around talking while they ate. They went for a walk in the park since the sun was shining, and Jacob sped ahead of him on his scooter, still not having quite had the courage to get back on a bike after what had happened to Harry all those months ago. Louis and Harry walked behind them, linked hands swinging between them. 

They got home and Jay arrived mid-afternoon, shoving Louis and Harry out of the door, her and Jacob sharing secret smiles between them as Harry and Louis got into the car. They’d decided to head over to Jay’s to see Dan and the other kids as Louis felt he hadn’t spent much quality time with his siblings lately.

Doris and Ernest were thrilled to see them, although Louis was most put-out when they both tried to clamber up Harry’s legs, the taller man scooping up both babies with ease as he kissed their chubby cheeks, Dan and Louis watching on fondly as he walked through to their playroom, Daisy and Phoebe hot on his heels.

“He’s going to make an amazing Dad someday,” Dan mused, fond eyes watching Harry’s every move.

“He’s already a dad,” Louis reminded him gently. “But I know what you mean. I’m hoping he still wants that with me, after everything that’s happened, I mean. I want more children, Dan, but only with him, and only if he wants it.” Dan nudged him and pointed to Harry who was now on his back, Doris sat on his chest while Ernest tugged at his hair.

“If that’s not the face of a man who wants babies with his husband, I don’t know what is,” Dan muttered, leaving Louis on his own for a minute, heart full at the sight of Harry playing so easily with the small children, looking in his absolute element. He was nervous. They hadn’t brought up babies much lately, and not knowing was driving Louis insane. However, he knew now wasn’t the time for that, they were still getting through their rough patch, but at the same time, part of him needed to know if Harry still wanted it as much as he did.

The rest of the afternoon passed fairly quickly. Louis was roped into watching High School Musical with Phoebe and Daisy, laughing with embarrassment as Harry strolled in halfway through when Louis was in the midst of a particularly lively singalong with his sisters, hips swaying, putting his all into the performance. Instead of mocking, Harry had joined in, much to the delight of the girls, and Louis felt happier than he had done in a very long time as he lost himself in the words of “Breaking Free”.

“So what have they got planned?” Louis asked Harry as he drove them both home. Harry was trying hopelessly to rearrange his curls in the small mirror in the sunvisor. 

“I dread to think,” Harry admitted, both of them laughing as Louis pulled into the driveway, making sure Jay had enough room to get her car out again when she left. There was a note taped to the front door and Louis peeled it off, reading with amused eyes along with Harry. It was in Jay’s handwriting, but it was clearly part of Jacob’s masterplan.

__ To my Dads   
Go straight upstairs and put some posh clothes on please. Don’t come anywhere else in the house until I come and get you.   
I love you and please do as you are told.   
Love Jacob and Nanny x

They grinned at each other as they made their way inside and did indeed do as they were told, going upstairs together. Louis opened the doors of his wardrobe, perusing the clothes in there until he picked out a checked Burberry shirt Harry had bought him a little while ago he hadn’t gotten around to wearing yet. He slipped it on, ignoring Harry’s roaming eyes as he pulled some black skinny jeans over his legs. He spritzed some cologne on his cheeks and fiddled with his hair in the mirror of their ensuite as he watched Harry get dressed out of the corner of his eye.

Harry had on a white button down shirt with a black blazer on top, smart black trousers on his lower half. Louis stood in front of the mirror for a second, wondering if he was too underdressed compared to Harry when Harry came up behind him, resting his big hands on Louis’ hips, pressing their cheeks together, Harry’s body pressing up against Louis’. 

“Don’t doubt yourself, I can see that’s what you’re doing. You looking fucking gorgeous, and I love you.”

“Thank you, love,” Louis whispered, allowing Harry to press a kiss onto his cheek. “You ready?” Harry nodded, and they both looked towards the bedroom door as a little knock came through. “Come in!”

Jacob came in, and both men bit back laughs at the state of their son. He had a smear of something on his cheek, and his ‘Nanny’s Best Helper’ apron adorned the front of his body. He had red cheeks, but the biggest proud smile on his face.

“You’re ready! You both look beautiful,” Jacob said, not getting near either of his dads, not wanting to get them dirty. “It’s all ready now, so please follow me.”

Harry held out his hand and Louis took it as they followed Jacob down the stairs. It didn't matter that they were dressed in their smart outfits and only had socks on their feet, it didn't matter that the sitting room was a bit of a mess, and the washing basket was piled high with Louis’ work clothes and Jacob’s school uniform. 

“Okay, come in the kitchen!” Jacob called, and both men’s jaws dropped as they walked inside. The kitchen table had been pulled away from the wall, and in the middle sat Harry’s bunch of flowers from Louis, the card still stood in front of the vase. There was a tall red candle on a stick that Louis knew from a fact had come from Jay’s house, and there were nice placemats and cutlery set for two on the wooden surface.

“Oh my god, Jake…” Louis mumbled, trailing off, not knowing what to say. “This is… you thought of all this?”

“He did,” Jay confirmed, smiling at the sight of the happy couple in front of her. “He asked me last week to help him with his idea. He’s coming home with me, by the way.” Louis tried to ignore the wink she threw the pair of them, and instead followed Harry, who held out a chair for Louis to slide into. He sat down next to Louis, and they both watched as Jay and Jacob whispered something to each other.

Jacob started to walk over, a dinner plate held carefully in his hands. He sat the first one down in front of Harry before he ran back and grabbed the other one, walking back to put it back down in front of Louis. They both smiled widely at the food on the plate, and Jacob disappeared again. 

He walked back with a carton of apple juice in his hands. “Could you pass me your glasses please?” Harry held out one, watching as Jacob stuck his little tongue out in concentration, pouring until the glass was half full. Harry handed that one to Louis before he held the other empty one out, Jacob filling that too.

“Okay, so me and Nanny cooked together, but I thought of the meal because it’s my favourite one and Daddy always makes it for me. I made the nuggets and chips with Nanny, but the beans were from the tin. Do you want the ketchup?”

Harry tried not to laugh at the serious expression on his face as Louis nodded, Jacob hurrying off to the fridge. 

“Oh, I made jelly for pudding too, it’s in the fridge but you will have to get that because Nanny and I are going in a minute. Do you like it?”

“I think it’s the best thing anyone has ever cooked for me,” Louis said, opening his arm for Jacob. Harry yanked him back quickly, and undid the bow at the back of his apron, pulling it over his head before Jacob hugged Louis tightly, then turning to Harry and doing the same thing. 

“Thank you so much, Jake,” Harry whispered into his ear, kissing his cheek. 

“Right, Jake, let’s leave your dads to it, love. Have a great evening you too, and enjoy the food.”

“Thank you for everything, Mum,” Louis whispered as Jay bent to hug him, then Harry. Jacob ran off and reappeared with a little packed rucksack. “Wow, you really thought of everything, huh?”

“Seven kids, Lou, seven kids,” she laughed. “See you both tomorrow.”

“Thanks Jay, bye Jake, we love you,” Harry called, blowing kisses to his son. The front door soon closed leaving Harry and Louis finally alone. They burst out laughing before they started tucking in. It wasn’t anyone’s idea of a typical Valentine’s dinner but for that reason alone, it was perfect. The chicken was tasty, the chips were all wonky and different sized but it didn't matter as Jacob had made them with love.

Louis snapped a photo of their empty plates afterwards, sending Jay a text to show Jacob they’d loved the meal. He stood and cleared the plates into the sink, grabbing the two glass bowls of strawberry jelly in the fridge. He set on in front of Harry who grinned down at it.

“God, I haven’t jelly in years,” he mused, wobbling the bowl slightly. “He really thought of everything, huh?”

“Yeah. He’s amazing,” Louis said, trying to get a piece of jelly onto his spoon. “We’re really lucky, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Harry said, sliding a bit of jelly into his mouth. “Come here-” Louis leant over as Harry scooped a bit of jelly into his mouth, smiling as he chewed. They ate the rest silently, Harry admiring his beautiful flowers, well aware that he hadn’t yet had the chance to give Louis his present.

They stood together, and as Louis went to put things away, Harry crowded him against the worktop, his feet either side of Louis’ as their bodies pressed together. His hands came to rest on Louis’ hips, while Louis’ were on Harry’s chest, on top of the thin fabric of his shirt.

“Lou…” Harry whispered, his voice low with lust and desire. He gently rocked his hips forwards, showing Louis how he was affected by being so close to his husband. “Louis, can I take you to bed? Please?” Louis just wordlessly nodded, his hands pushing up into Harry’s hair and tugging him gently down into a deep kiss. They lost themselves in it for a moment, hips moving against each other’s. 

Things soon became more desperate, and Harry reached down, grabbing Louis under his thighs, hoisting him up onto the worktop. His fingers slid under the edge of Louis’ shirt, grabbing at the soft skin of his waist above the waistband of his trousers.

“Harry- god, Harry, take me to bed, love,” Louis whispered into Harry’s mouth. Harry didn't hesitate before he got a good grip of Louis and pulled him close and off the counter. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist, trusting his husband implicitly to get him safely to their bedroom. They didn't break the kiss as they headed upstairs, both needing each other by now, Harry whimpering as Louis tilted Harry’s head around, deepening their kisses with each movement.

Harry stumbled into their bedroom and gently let Louis down onto his feet, keeping their bodies close as they kept kissing. Louis’ hands went up to undo the buttons of his shirt, but Harry stopped him with a gentle hand wrapped around his wrist, stilling his movements. 

“Can I… let me, Lou? Can I undress you? Please?” Louis’ eyes were dark by now, the pair of them only lit by the light in the hallway behind the door.  He nodded slowly and dropped his arms to his sides and looked down as Harry’s hands came up, gently undoing each of the small buttons until the shirt was flapping open, exposing his toned chest and stomach. Harry ran his hands up and down his skin for a moment, looking at Louis with dark eyes that turned Louis on even more. 

Harry gently pushed the shirt off Louis’ shoulders, letting it pool on the floor around his feet, Louis quickly kicking it out of the way. Harry kissed him again as his hands came down to work at the stiff button of Louis’ jeans,  sighing in relief as it popped open. Harry slowly slid them down Louis’ legs, dropping to his knees and picking up each of Louis’ ankles to pull the tight clothes off his body, following with Louis’ socks, leaving him tight blue boxers and his wedding band on.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Harry breathed out, kissing along Louis’ collarbones, loving the goosebumps that trailed over Louis’ skin in his wake. Louis hissed as the cool metal of Harry’s wedding ring grazed over his exposed nipple, and Harry smirked at the noise, wanting to draw more noises out of Louis like that one.

“Get undressed,” Louis whined, tugging at Harry’s blazer. Harry took a step back and started pulling off his own clothes, aware of Louis palming himself as he watched Harry. Harry made a bit of a show of it, turning around as he slid his shirt off, knowing Louis liked the muscles of his bare back. He hooked his hands into the waistband of his trousers, teasing them down his thighs, ignoring the gasp Louis let out as he realised what Harry had on underneath.

“Oh god, Harry…” he moaned, pressing the heel of his hand harder into his erection as he looked Harry up and down. “You’re wearing those?”

“Wanted to be pretty for you, Lou,” Harry said, kicking off his trousers and getting closer to Louis again at last. “Is this okay? If not, I can change-”

“No, please don’t,” Louis insisted, reaching forwards, grabbing at Harry’s lace-covered backside. “You look so amazing, so beautiful. These are my favourite knickers on you, baby. All for me, aren’t you?”

“Always for you,” Harry repeated back, pushing his crotch together, their semi-hard cocks brushing against each other, still encased behind their underwear. “How do you…”

Louis tugged Harry over to the bed and pushed him backwards onto it, clambering into his husband’s lap, noting the flash of something in Harry’s eyes as he ground his hips down in small circles, Harry’s hands flying up to grab at his hips.

“Like this,” he purred out, Harry nodding gently. Louis leaned over again as he kept kissing Harry, their tongues teasing each other as Louis’ hands roamed Harry’s torso, playing with his sensitive nipples as their hips moved together, enjoying the feel of each other like this. 

“Mm, Lou,” Harry mumbled, pushing Louis up slightly until he was sitting on his hips, looking beautiful on top of Harry like this. “What about your present-”

“No, after,” Louis mumbled, kissing Harry again. “Open me up, love?” Harry nodded and fumbled around in his bedside table, careful not to jostle Louis off him as he did so, finally emerging with the bottle in his hand. Harry watched as Louis lifted himself up and stood on the floor next to the bed as he pushed his boxers off, completely bare now as he stared at Harry laid out on the bed, a hand in his own knickers stroking himself now. “You’re so beautiful for me, Haz. Love you so much…” He kept stroking over his own length, the wet head of his cock slipping in and out of his fist, both getting turned on at the sight of each other like this.

“Come on,” Harry pleaded, tapping his bare thighs with his free hand. Louis nodded and gently climbed back on top of his husband. He leaned forwards onto his elbows, chest to chest with Harry as he propped himself up onto his elbows. Harry quickly opened the lube and covered the fingers of his right hand with it, sliding them between Louis’ cheeks a few times, teasing him.

“Harry- want you,  _ need _ you baby- oh my god…” He closed his eyes and threw his head back, exposing his throat as Harry slid his first finger inside. Louis wasn’t completely tight, as they’d only had sex in the shower yesterday before their counselling appointment, but the position meant he could feel every bit of Harry’s long finger move inside him. 

Harry craned his head up as he moved his finger back and forth inside Louis’ body, sucking a lovebite to Louis’ throat, making his husband moan louder. Louis rocked his body back and forth, riding Harry’s finger until he was begging for more, Harry complying by adding in a second. He began to scissor it, loving how Louis was panting, adjusting to the burn and stretch of it before once again he started rocking down against Harry’s hand.

“So good for me, feel so good around me,” Harry whispered, knowing Louis loved to hear how good he was, especially at the moment. “Couldn’t ever want anyone else when I have you, best husband in the whole world, love you more than anything-” Louis moaned deeply at that declaration, and bent his head, sucking Harry’s left nipple into his mouth, enjoying how Harry gasped at the sensation, stilling his fingers for a moment. 

“No, move, keep going,” Louis begged, voice low and husky as their bodies moved together. Harry started shuffling around, his other hand coming down, yanking at the waistband of his knickers but Louis shook his head, still pushing down on Harry’s fingers inside. “No, leave them on.” Harry nodded and carried on, adding a third finger until Louis was begging again, this time for more.

“Okay, love,” Harry said, gently sliding his fingers out, wiping them down on the bedsheet beneath them. Louis got up onto his knees for a minute, and dragged the waistband of Harry’s knickers down enough that he could free his cock, kissing the tip for a second before he got back up, positioning himself over it. Rather than sinking straight down, Louis teased himself and Harry for a moment, grasping Harry’s cock in his hand, running the wet tip around his entrance.

Harry was biting hard on his lip, trying not to come before he actually got inside his husband, but the feel of Louis’ hole around the head of his cock was so much already. Louis’ eyes were closed, his cheeks were flushed, and his neck was littered with lovebites. Harry swore he’d never looked more beautiful, and he gently held onto Louis’ hips as he took what he needed from Harry.

Louis locked eyes with Harry as he stilled his body for a second, taking in a breath as he lowered himself onto Harry’s hard cock, both reacting vocally as the head popped inside Louis. He hovered there a moment, his muscles screaming in protest but it felt too good to move. He moaned as he dropped his body down slowly, Harry soon bottoming out as Louis’ backside rested against his hips now.

“Oh god, feel so full,” Louis mumbled, hanging his head, hands pressed against Harry’s chest now. Slowly he pulled him up and back down again, both of them groaning at the sensation. Harry felt on fire from how tight Louis felt around his cock, and Louis was overwhelmed by how deep Harry was inside him. Together, they found a rhythm, Louis working himself up and down as Harry adjusted his body slightly, planting his feet on the bed so he could push back into Louis’ thrusts, taking the burden of all the work off his husband. Louis’ fingers were digging into the soft skin on Harry’s nearly hairless chest, but Harry didn't care. He was proud to bear the marks of his and Louis’ lovemaking, and he reached up with one hand, pressing slightly into a lovebite on Louis’ neck, enjoying the hiss of pain Louis made at the shock of pain.

“Sorry,” Harry whispered, wishing he could help Louis then. He had an idea and when Louis sank back down, he held him tight with his hips. “Don’t let me come out-” Louis nodded and tried to stay on Harry’s dick as Harry moved, shuffling and sitting up until his back was against the head of the bed. Louis grabbed a pillow and put it behind Harry’s back, and smiled as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s sweaty neck. “There, that’s better, darling,” Harry mumbled, letting Louis start to move again.

“Love kissing you while you’re inside me,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear before he bit down gently on his earlobe, his hips moving in small circles again, Harry buried deep inside him. “Love you, love your body, love how you feel when we do this..”

“I love you too,” Harry mumbled back, tilting his head so Louis could kiss along his jaw. He couldn’t really move much from this position so he let Louis dictate the pace, sensing Louis’ orgasm was approaching when he lost any sense of rhythm, bouncing quickly on Harry’s cock, gripping hard on Harry’s shoulders by now. Harry knew his cock must be pressing on Louis’ prostate from the noises pouring out of his husband, and just as he felt Louis about to come, he grabbed his face and kissed him deeply, pushing his tongue into his mouth and swallowing down all of Louis’ noises as he came between them, coating their skin in his release.

Louis collapsed against Harry as his orgasm finished, and Harry wasted no time in holding on tightly to Louis and switching their position until Louis was on his back, and started fucking into his husband hard and fast. They were holding hands, gripping hard and kissing, and it was Louis’ mumbled ‘come in me, please’ that pushed Harry over the edge, shouting Louis’ name as he came deep inside his husband.

He dropped down onto Louis’ body when he was done, panting and inhaling the scent of Louis, sex, sweat and the cologne Harry loved so much on him. When he’d got his breath back, Harry slowly got back onto his knees and pulled out carefully, admiring for a second the sight of his come dribbling out of Louis’ body and onto the sheet below. He kissed Louis deeply before he got up and went to the bathroom to grab a cloth, cleaning them both up.

When he returned, Louis was sat up in bed, the sheet over his lap and pooled around his waist, looking fucked out but blissful at the same time. Harry smiled and joined his husband, kissing him for a moment before Louis pulled away, rifling around in his drawer for a second, sitting back with a pink envelope in his hands. 

“Um. I know we said we weren’t doing gifts. But… I couldn’t not do something for our second Valentine’s Day together. It’s… it’s not much, but I needed you to know.” He handed over the envelope to Harry, hands trembling. Harry put the envelope down in his lap and took Louis’ hands in his own for a moment, kissing the back of them gently.

“Thank you. I, um, I got you something too but… after.” Louis nodded and watched as Harry ran his finger under the seam of the envelope, reaching in to pull out a piece of soft pink paper. He unfolded it but before he read it, he locked eyes with Louis. “Lou… read it to me, please? I think… it’ll be right, like that?”

“I can’t, I’ll get choked up-”

“Please?” Louis sighed and nodded, taking the piece of paper from Harry, lacing their hands together, the paper in his free hand. He took a deep breath and began to read.

“ _ Dear Harry _

_ Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart. I can’t believe this is our first one as a married couple, our second since we’ve been together. It’s been almost two years since you came into my life, and what a journey we have been on together. _

_ I need to start off by telling you how much I love you, Harry. I can’t believe that I get to be the one who gets to love you, and gets to be loved by you in return. I have to pinch myself sometimes to remind me that you’re mine, and that I’m yours. I always dreamed of finding a love like we have, and now I have it, I want to hold it tight and never, ever let it go. Something like this only comes around once in a lifetime, that much I know, and I’m so lucky I get to experience a love as fierce and wonderful as ours. _

_ I know things haven’t been easy lately, and for that, I can never apologise enough. I managed to convince myself that you couldn’t love me if I was weak, but Harry… you don’t care. You love me in spite of my faults, you love me for who I am - the good and the bad. Over these past few weeks I’ve come to realise that - that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me, for our love and for our family. I regret so much how I pushed you away, but I’m so glad you held on tight, and didn't let me go. Don’t ever let me go, please. I’d be lost without you. _

_ You’re the perfect husband, and the perfect father. Watching you with our son makes me so happy, and I feel privileged to watch your relationship with Jacob grow, and see how you love and respect each other so deeply. I never dreamt someone could love my son in the easy, unequivocal way you love him. For you, there was never any doubt in accepting him, and it was that which made me realise you were the one I wanted to share my life with, our lives with. I hope that soon our family will grow, my heart wants nothing more than to raise more children with you and complete our family. _

_ I can’t promise to never get scared again, that I won’t push you away when things get rough. But I can promise that through whatever comes our way, I will always love you. That much I know for certain. On the bad days, only you can make me smile, and I know with you by my side, we can do anything, overcome anything.  _

_ When tomorrow comes, I want only you by my side. Loving you, and being loved by you in return is enough, Harry, and I never want to live a day without you. You’re the love of my life. _

_ I love you,  _

_ Forever and always yours, _

_ Louis xxx _

Louis was almost scared to look up thanks to the eerie silence that had settled in the room but he decided to brave it. His heart fell at the sight of Harry sobbing quietly, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands pressed over his mouth. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry, it was too much, wasn’t it, I just-”

“It was perfect. Louis, oh my god… your words...they’re beautiful.” He surged forwards then, wrapping his arms tightly around Louis, pulling him into his body. Harry sobbed, his forehead on Louis’ shoulder as he cried, tears dripping down Louis’ bare chest as he tried to comfort him. “I love you so fucking much, do you know that? That letter… it’s one of the best things anyone has ever done for me, Lou.”

Louis nudged Harry so he sat up, and brought their lips together for a moment before he rested their foreheads together, sharing each other’s breaths for a moment. “I’m so glad… I was really nervous. But… I had to tell you how I feel about you… I need you to know that despite all that’s happened lately, you’re still the one, Haz. You’re the one I want forever, through the good and the bad.”

Harry sniffed and sat up, wiping at his red eyes with the sheet, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. “Well, now you’ve just made my present look like absolutely shite,” he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, no, don’t say that,” Louis protested, not wanting Harry to put himself down. “I’ll love it, whatever it is, I promise.”

“I know, but still… first it was adoption papers for Christmas, and now the most heartfelt emotional letter I’ve read in my entire life. How am I meant to compete with you, huh?”

“It’s not a competition, baby. Please show me?” Harry nodded, and Louis was puzzled by how he didn't move. “Okay. Lately, you have seemed to believe that I’m going to leave you. That I’m not in this marriage forever. But Louis, I am. This love we have, it’s everything to me. I could lose absolutely everything else I own but as long as I have you and our son, I have everything I could ever need. So…”

He stretched out his left hand and laid it in Louis’, the smaller man completely perplexed by now. 

“Take my ring off, Lou.” Louis used his right hand to slide Harry’s wedding band off, immediately tearing up at what he saw on Harry’s skin. “This… I hope this shows you we’re forever. You’re inked into my skin, permanently. Me, my heart, my love… it’s all yours, Louis. It always has been.”

Louis shakily raised Harry’s hand to his lips and kissed the tattooed initials on Harry’s finger gently. The slightly raised LWT on the pale skin usually hidden under his wedding band stood out perfectly, and Louis ran the pad of his thumb over them, a little in awe of what Harry had done for him.

“Harry…” he breathed out, not caring that tears were falling freely now. “You did this for me?”

“Well, you’re the only LWT I love, and the only LWT  I married, so yeah, love, it’s for you. It’s always all for you. Everything I do is for you. I love you.”

Louis gently put Harry’s wedding ring back on, kissing it when it was in place before he crawled back into Harry’s lap. 

“I love you so much, Harry Tomlinson.” He pulled Harry into a deep kiss with those words, and right then and there, somehow, he knew everything was going to be okay. 


	60. Hold On To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry puzzle out what to do with Harry's career, Louis spends some time with Zayn, and then has a proposition for his husband...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from the Nashville Cast song of the same name.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new installment, sorry it's been a few days but my brother was getting married so I've been a bit busy. Should be back to 3-4 day updates now :)

“Right, be good for Nanny, and we’ll come and pick you up afterwards.” Harry leaned down and kissed Jacob quickly as he smiled up at his mum, wordlessly thanking her for taking care of his son. He and Louis were off to Jacob’s mid-year parents evening, and Harry truly loved being part of these things. He’d been Jacob’s father for nearly two years now, but the novelty of arriving at school events still hadn’t worn off. Louis just rolled his eyes every time Harry got so excited by such small things.

“Okay, Dad, see you later!” Jacob waved eagerly and ran into the house, as always loving any opportunity he got to be at Anne’s house, where he got spoilt rotten. Harry chatted quickly to his Mum before he jogged back out to the car and sat in the passenger seat next to Louis, trying to covertly eye up his husband’s thick thighs in his tight jeans.

It had been a week since the wonderful Valentine’s Day that he and Louis had shared, and Harry still hadn’t come down from how turned on he’d been by how Louis had behaved. The fact that intimacy was back in their relationship was making Harry a very happy man, and he certainly wasn’t about to deny Louis all the sex he was asking for at the moment. Harry felt like things might just be back on track, and with their counselling sessions with Katie, things were looking positive.

“You think it’s going to be a good parents evening?” Harry asked as Louis pulled into the car park, pulling up the hand brake of their Audi. “I mean, I’m sure it will but you never know if your kids are going to be different at school to how they are at home, right?”

“Well, some kids are, but I think we’re safe with Jake, don’t you?” Louis smiled and took Harry’s hand as they headed in through the main entrance, signing in to the visitor’s book before they headed down the corridor to take a seat outside Jacob’s classroom. Books were piled up for parents to take a look at, and Harry walked along until he saw the pile proclaiming ‘Jacob Tomlinson’ and picked them up, sitting down with them next to Louis.

They read through them, smiling at Jacob’s work, and Harry felt ridiculously proud of the improvement in Jacob’s handwriting over the school year to date. He pointed out several pieces of writing to Louis who nodded along, and the smile didn't leave Harry’s face for a long time. Jacob’s art folder was quite amusing since art certainly wasn’t the boy’s strongest suit, but his Maths work was clearly a strength, and Harry was pleased that all that practise with his times tables was definitely paying off.

“Mr Tomlinson, and, uh, Mr Tomlinson?” Mr Fox said, sending the pair an embarrassed smile as they got up, walking over to him.

“Harry and Louis, please,” Harry laughed, shaking the teacher’s hand. They both followed him into the classroom and sat down on the tiny chairs, Louis biting back a chuckle at how long Harry’s legs looked squished on the child sized chairs. Mr Fox sat and rifled through some paperwork, pulling out the pieces relevant to Jacob before he began his speech.

“I hope you’ve both had a chance to look through Jacob’s books?” he asked, and both men nodded, Harry patting the pile he’d left on the table in front of him. “Excellent. Well, as you can see, he is making great progress in his transition into Year Three. I’ve been very pleased with his work, and he has an excellent work ethic.”

“That’s great to hear,” Harry couldn’t resist saying, smiling proudly at both Mr Fox and Louis. “He’s been much more enthusiastic about his homework, and the extra we’ve been doing lately.”

“That shows. I understand his dyslexia diagnosis has been a bit difficult, but Jacob has been coping brilliantly. We’ve got a great team here at the school who have been handling his interventions, and the initial assessments that they have undertaken to ensure they are on the right track have been positive.”

“My husband has been working really hard with Jacob to make sure his reading and spellings have been worked on, he’s been very supportive,” Louis said softly, silently taking Harry’s hand between them. Harry could feel himself flush at the admission and compliment, but it meant so much that Louis was acknowledging the work he was putting in with Jacob, especially after the tough few weeks they had had together.

“Hey, you’ve helped too, you know you have,” Harry replied, and he chuckled when he saw Mr Fox looking between them like he was following a ball at a tennis match. “But, enough mutual praising, we’re both really pleased Jacob is progressing well. Is there any areas of concern, other than around his spelling?”

“I wouldn’t say so. Jacob’s strength is most certainly in Maths, and he shows a good interest in other classroom topics like geography and music as well, he’s particularly keen to begin the guitar lessons after the half term.”

“Yes, he’d told me about those,” Harry said with a smile. “If you ever wanted me to pop in and so something with the children, please just ask, I’d be more than happy to help.”

“I’ll bear that in mind, thank you Mr Tom- Harry. I also want to compliment your son on his friendship groups within the class. He’s a very friendly child, always makes time for those the other children wouldn’t naturally choose to play with, and I can always rely on him to show friendliness and kindness. So, overall, I’m thrilled with both Jacob’s academic progress, and his personal progress, too. Do you have any questions for me?”

Harry felt Louis look over to him then, and Harry thought for a few moments. “No, I don’t think I do, Lou?”

“No, I’m all good. I’m just pleased he’s been okay at school. We’ve had a, um, bit of a rough time at home but he’s been very resilient and I think seeing his counsellor is helping him, too. Thank you, for all you’ve done for him and your support.”

“Hey, it’s my pleasure. He’s a lovely little boy, you should both be very proud.”

“We are,” Harry said, resting his head momentarily on Louis’ shoulder. “Well, thank you for your time, have a good evening.” Both Louis and Harry stood up, shaking Mr Fox’s hand before they left the room. Louis stopped and chatted to a few parents before they left the school building, and they made the drive over to Anne’s. “You wanna take Jake out for tea, to say well done for a great report?” Harry asked, indicating as he turned into the road his mum lived on. “I was just thinking it might be nice?”

“Sounds good to me, Jake can choose, yeah?” Louis nodded and hopped out of the car, walking up the driveway ahead of Harry. He let himself in, and Harry smiled at how at home Louis was around his family now. “Hey, Anne!”

“Hello sweetheart, how did it go?” Harry and Louis sat down on the sofa as they told Anne and Robin how well the parents meeting had gone, and how proud the teachers were of Jacob’s progress. Harry knew his mum was loving how proudly Harry was talking about his son, and he couldn’t stop imagining reliving all of this in a few years time if he and Louis welcomed more children into their family, attending yet more school events. Harry loved the thought of being able to be part of all the things he’d missed in his Jacob’s life, like his first day at school, and the first assembly.

Jacob came running into the room then, and he launched himself onto Louis’ lap, leaning over to kiss Harry’s cheek. “Was it good?! Did Mr Fox say I was a good boy?”

“Nope, he wasn’t pleased at all,” Harry tried to say with a straight face, but he only managed to pull it off for a matter of seconds before a broad smile crossed his face, and Jacob angrily jumped into his lap, laughing as he tickled Harry’s stomach over his shirt. “Sorry, love, I couldn’t resist. Dad and I were thinking though… shall we go out for dinner to celebrate your great parents evening?”

“Yay! PIZZA HUT!” Jacob screamed at the top of his voice. That was his go-to choice any time Harry or Louis took him out to eat, and they both smiled and nodded, having already anticipated that would be his choice. He jumped up and down excitedly, his little feet slamming into the floor with each jump. “You are the best parents ever!”

With that, he took off into the hallway and the adults heard a few odd noises before Jacob came charging back in, rucksack on his shoulders and his coat hanging from his head by the hood like it was a cape, hands on hips and a serious expression on his face.

“Well, can we go? What if they run out of pizza?! Come on!”

*****

The next day found Harry at the offices of his management team. He had been anticipating a meeting for a little while now. There had been a few pap pictures in the press of him looking less than happy during his rough patch with Louis, and he’d studiously ignored all the attempts from anyone to get him to talk about the pictures, and what had happened. Things had died down slightly since he and Louis had begun posting on Twitter again on Valentine’s Day, sharing lovey dovey images with the world, and parading the fact their marriage was indeed on track, but part of Harry wondered if they’d want him to address something more.

Harry greeted the receptionist sat behind her desk and let himself through to the room where his meeting was, knocking before he walked in, a smile on his face. He shook hands with the members of the team, some old, some new, and sat down in the spare seat left for him, a glass of water with a slice of lemon inside sat in front of him which he appreciated.

“Can I start off by saying I apologise for being a bit awol lately. I know you have been trying to get hold of me regarding the things in the press, but honestly, my priority was my husband and my son, and before I said anything to anyone, I needed get things straight in my own head.”

“Is everything okay, Harry?” Bob, one of the older members of the team asked Harry, concern etched on his face.

“It is now, thanks,” Harry said with a small smile. “Every marriage has its rough patches, but Lou and I are still very much in love, and I’d be lost without my husband. I really don’t want to comment publicly on things, we posted enough on Valentine’s Day that I think it’s put the fans minds at ease. I hope that’s okay?”

“Certainly, Harry. That’s fine. Just.... maybe in the future, keep us in the loop so we can try and control things from our end, stop them getting out of control?”

“Sure, but as I said, my priority was looking after my family, that comes before everything, even contacting you guys,” Harry said, looking serious now. “But I’m sure that’s not why you have called me in today…”

“No, it’s not,” Hayley, another new member of the team spoke up, shuffling around a few papers in front of her. “Obviously since the attention you and Mr Tomlinson garnered in winning the Grammy for _Home_ , people have been pushing to hear more new music from you. It’s been almost a year since the last album came out, so we would now be looking to be releasing new material within the new few months.” Harry nodded at this. He and Louis had had a chat that morning in bed before Louis had gone to work and Harry had come to this meeting about what is could be about, and Harry had expected it would be about making more music. “Obviously, you’re under a five album contract, and this would be your fourth album. Are you in a position to prepare music at this time?”

Harry sighed, pushing a hand through his unruly hair. It had grown out a lot lately, but he was keen not to cut it after Louis had expressed how much he loved Harry’s longer length curls. “Well. I’ll be honest and say I’m finding writing anything new quite hard at the moment. I have sat down over the past few weeks but nothing usable has come out of it. I can’t put my finger on what’s stopping me, so I’ll keep trying.”

“Okay. Well, we can put you in touch with some new writers, see how you might go working with someone else?” Harry felt unsure about that, always having preferred to work alone before. “Our other suggestion was… um-” She stopped speaking, as if she was suddenly nervous to divulge whatever piece of information she was holding back from Harry.

“You can say it…” Harry encouraged, sipping on his water.

“We wondered if you’d consider perhaps writing with your husband again? _Home_ was a private song, we realise that, but it seems like the two of your work well together musically as well as personally, and the audience adored having him sing with you on the last tour. How would you feel about that?”

“I mean, I would love to,” Harry began, nodding eagerly. “But I’d obviously have to speak to Lou and discuss it with him, it’s not something I can give you an answer to now, not without his consent. We didn't intend to write _Home_ , it just sort of happened, but I’d certainly be willing to try if Louis is up for that too.”

“Excellent.” Hayley smiled and clapped her hands together, turning to the other members of the team, waiting for them to speak. The rest of the meeting passed by quickly, the team running through the events for the rest of the year, although Harry tuned out slightly after a while. There was no way he’d remember any of it, and he knew his schedule would be emailed to him anyway. He finished up the meeting after shaking hands with everyone, thanking them as always for their support and help, and headed back in the direction of Louis and Jacob’s school, where he was meant to be picking both of them up in just a short while.

He hovered in the playground against the fence, texting Niall while he waited for Jacob’s classroom door to open. When it did, Jacob came running out and into Harry’s arms, and Harry loved that Jacob wasn’t shy about being affectionate with him despite his advancing age. Harry had been thinking about Jacob’s eighth birthday lately, and his first wedding anniversary, both of which were coming up quickly, and he loved that his life revolved around two such special people, and making sure the smiles remained on their faces.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Harry said as Louis strolled up ten minutes later, kissing his husband softly, not caring who was seeing. The majority of the parents had long ago gotten used to the fact that Harry Styles was a constant presence at the school gates now, and it was only those who didn't come to the school often who made a fuss, pointing and staring at him. Harry ignored those looks and held Louis’ hand and Jacob’s bag in his other while his son skipped ahead with his friend, talking about some game they’d played at lunchtime.

“How did it go?” Louis asked, staring up at Harry, trying to work out the answer from his expression.

“Yeah, okay. They weren’t too funny about, well, you know,” Harry admitted, squeezing Louis’ hand softly, comforting his husband as the awkward topic came up again. “They were supportive actually, said that if they’d known, they couldn’t helped avoid some of the media speculation, but it is what it is.” He shrugged and grabbed Jacob’s hand before he ran across the road, looking left and right before he led his family over to their car. He shoved the bags in the boot while Louis got Jacob in, and then sat in the passenger seat. “They had a few ideas actually, so I want to talk to you about them later.”

“You can talk in front of me, I won’t tell anybody,” Jacob piped up from the backseat, making a zipping motion across his lips as Harry looked on in the rearview mirror.

“I know you won’t, love, but it’s boring grown-up talk. How was your day? Did you work hard?”

“I always work hard,” Jacob said with a pout, making both Louis and Harry laugh. He proceeded to run them through what felt like every second of his day, but both dads loved how enthusiastic Jacob was about school again, despite his struggles academically. They arrived home, and as usual, Jacob sprinted up the stairs to get changed, leaving his little uniform in a heap on his bed. He asked to stay up there to do some colouring and to play with his cars so Louis and Harry sat at the kitchen table, warm cups of teas in front of them.

“So, tell me about these ideas,” Louis encouraged, eager to hear what his team had in mind.

“Well, as we thought, they’re pushing for the next album. It has been a while since the new one, and apparently, since we won the Grammy, they’ve had a lot more industry people asking about what’s next from me. I did tell them I’m struggling but-”

“Hey, Haz, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. It’s been a shit few weeks, no thanks to me. Fuck, we didn't even celebrate your birthday, or even talk to each other, so it’s no wonder you haven’t been in a place to write something happy, or anything at all. It’ll happen when it’s right. But I get the feeling you have something to ask me, and I can’t work out what it is…”

“Yeah, I do.” Harry took a deep breath for a moment, not really understanding why he felt nervous to ask Louis this question. “They thought, um, well, I do too actually, that, um-”

“Oh my god Harry Tomlinson, spit it out before I give you a sex ban for a week.” Harry’s eyes widened and he hurried to spit it out before he bottled out.

“Theywanttotrysongwritingwithyou.” He exhaled again and Louis wrinkled his nose, trying to work out what the hell Harry had just said. “Sorry, I’ll try that again. They want us to try songwriting together. You and me. Us. Just… Harry and Louis.”

“Yeah, okay,” Louis said with a smile, reaching to take Harry’s hand. “I think we could try that, don’t you?”

“Really?” Harry felt stunned Louis had accepted it so readily, but almost hated himself for that. The old Louis wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes, but Harry wasn’t sure how the new Louis, the one Harry was deeply in love with now, the one that still struggled, but was fighting for everything that mattered to him, would react.

“Of course. I’d do anything for you, I hope you know that.” Louis looked up at Harry, almost shyly, and Harry pushed back from the table, walking to grab his husband and pull him to his feet into a tight hug. “What’s this for?” Louis said from where his face was mushed into Harry’s broad chest.

“Just love you so much,” Harry muttered against Louis’ soft hair. “Thank you, Lou. Best husband I could have ever asked for.”

“I’m worth all the shit I’ve put you through then?”

“All the shit and much, much more,” Harry admitted, giggling against Louis’ neck now before he licked out at it with the tip of his tongue. “Oh, you still going to Zayn’s tonight?”

“Yeah, if it’s okay,” Louis said, finally breaking free from Harry’s tight hold on him. “If you want me to stay home, I will.”

“Lou, I can survive a few hours without you while you have a drink with your best mate, you know.” Louis squeezed Harry’s bum as he went past him, and Harry squeaked in a rather unmanly fashion, jumping at the touch. “Oi, that’s mine!”

“Oh, get off,” Louis scoffed, placing their cups in the dishwasher before he opened the fridge and wondered what to make for dinner. “That ass is mine, and you bloody know it.”

“Yeah, alright,” Harry admitted, making Louis laugh, knowing it was entirely true. Every inch of him belonged to Louis and vice versa, and neither of them would have it any other way. “Oh, Katie called and rescheduled our next appointment by the way. She couldn’t make Saturday morning, so she rearranged it for Monday after work. Mum’s going to collect Jake for us so you can meet me at her office?”

“Sure, thanks love,” Louis said, pulling a few things out and putting them on the worktop. “I, um, I never thought counselling was for me. Not because I’m a guy and guys don’t do that, I don’t believe in that shit, no way. But just… I don’t talk to people much.” Harry stayed quiet where he was stood leaning against the counter, arms folded as he listened to Louis, hoping his husband would keep talking.

“I’ve always been shit at it, even when I was a kid. But I saw how much it’s helped you and Jake after your accident, and when you suggested it… fuck. I was so scared. I had horrible thoughts about having to listen to you tell me everything you hate about me or whatever. But it’s not like that. I feel… I don’t know. Safe, I guess? Like I can say what I really feel, and it’s nice to get it out sometimes. I know you and Katie have to push me, and I’m afraid I’ll always be a pain in the arse like that, but… you’re worth it. Our marriage, our family is worth it. I’ll always fight for you, Haz.”

“I love you,” Harry just said, watching his husband flit around the kitchen. “And Lou?” Louis stopped and Harry stepped over, setting his hands on Louis’ hips. “I don’t hate a single thing about you, so I wouldn’t have had anything to say even if Katie had asked me that. You piss me off when you leave your soggy towels on the bathroom floor, you wind me up when you don’t put the lid on the toothpaste, I get narky when you throw your socks in the linen bin but you miss and don’t bother to pick them up. But those are the worst things I could ever say about you. Everything else about you is perfect.” He dipped his head and kissed Louis softly then, the two men quickly losing themselves in the kiss, only pulling apart when a small voice sounded out loudly in the otherwise quiet room.

“Oh, gross! Can’t you kiss somewhere else? I am going to go BLIND one day from seeing you kiss. I am never, ever getting a girlfriend or a boyfriend if all you have to do is kiss all day!”

Jacob stomped off then and Harry and Louis both burst out laughing, the typical seven year response tickling them both. Harry couldn’t resist leaning in for one more kiss before he pulled away, slapping Louis’ ass before he ran.

“Now, get my dinner on, I’ve got important songwriting business to attend to,” he called, winking at Louis over his shoulder as he left the room, cackling loudly at the poked out tongue and middle finger Louis sent him in return.

*****

“Beer?” Zayn called from the kitchen, and Louis pushed himself out of the armchair towards his friend.

“Yeah, cheers mate,” Louis said, accepting the bottle. “Only the one, though. I have to drive home as Haz is at home with Jake so he can’t come out.”

“Fair enough,” Zayn said, leading the way into the sitting room. Both men sat down on the comfortable sofa, Louis curling his legs up underneath him and making himself at home. It felt like too long since he’d had a chance to hang out with Zayn on his own, and as much as he loved spending time with his husband, sometimes it was nice to just be by himself, and be just Louis again. “How is my favourite godson then?”

“Yeah, he’s doing great.” Louis knew he had a proud smile on his face but he didn't care. Zayn was happy to listen to Louis’ gushing, and he knew it. “Haz and I went to parents evening the other day and his teacher said Jake is doing so well. I’m so proud, Z. He’s dealt with a lot of shit lately thanks to me, and Harry in a way, but he’s just being such an amazing kid. We’re so lucky.”

“Nothing to do with luck, Lou.” Zayn leaned forwards and patted Louis’ thigh, smiling at his friend. “You’ve done an amazing job with that boy, both on your own and now with Haz. He’s just a reflection of the brilliant parenting you’ve given him. Are you, um…”

“Are we want?” Louis’ brow furrowed as he wondered what Zayn was thinking about.

“Are you still wanting to have more kids with Harry?”

Louis pushed back against the sofa cushions, pulling one into his lap and fiddling with the zip along one side for a moment. “Yeah. I’m not sure he wants that though, not for the near future, at least. Just a feeling I get.” He shrugged, playing it off like he didn't care but deep down, the thought of not sharing children with Harry made his heart ache. It was something Louis wanted desperately, more than anything.

Zayn cleared his throat and looked over to Louis out of the corner of his eye. “I think that's something you need to talk to him about, mate. I can't imagine Harry not wanting kids, but you need to talk to him." Louis nodded, and let Zayn carry on speaking. "So you can tell me to fuck off if you want to, but I’m asking because I care. Are things okay with you and Haz now?”

Louis nods quickly, wanting Zayn to know he’s still happily married, and Zayn smiles at the action. “Yeah. I mean, we still have a way to go in terms of the counselling but it’s helping. I can’t change overnight, and Harry knows that. But he loves that I’m trying, and he’s just so supportive. I don’t know why he puts up with me, Z, I really don’t.”

“He loves you, you twat.” Zayn took a couple of big gulps of beer before he put the glass bottle down on the wooden table. “That man is so gone for you, Lou. He adores you, and it’s lovely to see you get treated exactly as you deserve. God, I remember you saying when Jake was a baby that you just wanted someone to love you and Jake, and now look at you.”

“Yeah, crazy huh?” Louis asked, fiddling with his wedding ring. “I’ve nearly been married a year, Zayn. Jacob’s had two dads for nearly two years. I mean, I know Haz wasn’t his dad at first but there was always something special between them. I’m just so glad he didn't let me push him away.”

“I get the feeling there’s a but here,” Zayn mused, knowing Louis almost better than he knew himself. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Not exactly,” Louis began, still turning the idea over in his head. “I just… god, I don’t know Z. I’ve had an idea but, well, things have just got back on track with me and Harry. I worry that if I tell him my idea, he’ll take it the wrong way.”

“What, badly?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s all for the right reasons, but still, I don’t want to destroy what we’re just starting to put back together.” Louis pondered over telling Zayn and decided to go for broke, knowing his friend would be honest with him. “He’s been struggling with his songwriting. A lot. His team have been pressuring for the new album, it’s not bad at the moment but it’ll get worse as the year moves on.”

“Right, and what have you thought then?” Zayn nudged Louis’ leg with his foot, drawing a small smile from his friend. Louis quickly explained things through to Zayn, sipping his beer as he did so, and letting his hand dart into the small bowl of crisps Zayn had set out earlier on. Zayn listened attentively and nodded in the right places, letting Louis purge all of his thoughts and worries.

“I like it. I see why it might help Haz, I really do. I know you’re only doing the best for your husband, Lou, and so will Harry. Ask him. Worst thing is he says no, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Louis admitted, feeling a bit better now he knew Zayn understood where he was coming from. “I’m just dreading bringing it up with him, you know? It still feels like things are a bit fragile between us at times, I don’t want to put us ten steps back again.” He sighed and drained the last of his beer, setting the bottle onto the floor by his feet. “I just… I can’t risk losing him, Z. Not again. He’s everything to me.”

“Talk to him. You know Harry, and he knows you. You won’t know until you ask him what he thinks.”

“Yeah, alright. Thanks, mate. You’ve always been there for me, and I hope you know how much I appreciate it. Before I get any more soppy, stick the telly on. There must be something trashy we can watch before I have to head home…” Zayn’s laugh filled the room as he reached for the remote, and Louis grinned back, trying to relax and pushing the thought of his question out of his mind, if only for a short while.

*****

“Oh fuck… right there, Harry, my god…” Louis’ back arched and he squeezed his eyes shut as Harry’s fingers worked deep inside him as the head of his cock slipped down Harry’s throat. It was a complete overload of pleasure, and his hands fisted the sheets, trying to find something to grab. Harry twisted and turned his fingers, grazing over Louis’ prostate again and again, making his husband cry out. He smirked around Louis’ shaft, running his tongue around the head as he pulled up, licking his lips, enjoying the taste of Louis’ precome.

“What do you want, Lou?” When Louis opened his eyes, Harry loved how his pupils were blown and he kept moving his fingers gently, enjoying how tight Louis felt around his digits. “Tell me, I’ll give you anything.”

“Fuck me,” Louis mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes, focusing entirely on the feeling between his legs. “Want you to take me.” Harry frowned as Louis reached down and grabbed Harry’s wrist, withdrawing his fingers. He carefully sat up, ignoring the sticky sensation from the lube and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. He walked over to the bedroom door and turned the key, making sure there was no way their son could walk in on them, and faced Harry once more.

“Lou?” Harry’s eyes roamed up and down Louis’ naked body, appreciating every inch of his curvy husband. Louis had lost a bit of weight after their weeks of tension, but Harry was pleased to see the curve of his belly and hips was starting to reemerge, and his cock twitched as Harry palmed himself. Harry’s eyes widened and he watched with bated breath as Louis walked over to the armchair in the corner of the room. He got onto his knees on the seat, and draped his upper body over the back rest before he turned around and looked coyly back at Harry over his shoulder. “Oh my god… Louis….”

“Come and take me, Harry.” Harry nodded, jumping to his feet and heading over to his husband. He ran one hand over the swell of Louis’ ass, staring down at his hole as Harry lined his cock up, rubbing the tip around Louis’ rim for a moment, Louis moaning at the sensation, pushing back for more. “Harry… inside, _please.”_

Harry gripped down at Louis’ hip, letting his fingers sink into the soft flesh as he pushed his cock inside Louis’ body, relishing in the loud moan his husband let out. Harry couldn’t draw his eyes away from where his cock was disappearing into Louis’ body, and he stilled for a moment, sure that another movement was going to make him come. Louis thumped the armchair, looking back at Harry.

“What are you waiting for? Fuck me, Haz… want you, baby, please-”

“Lou, give me a sec. If I move, I’m gonna come and I wanna last.” Harry took a few deep breaths, trailing his hands up to tweak Louis’ nipples before he began to move slowly again. It was at times like this he was pleased they didn't use condoms. Louis felt so tight and warm around him, and Harry knew he only ever wanted to fuck Louis bare for the rest of his life. “Christ, I love you so fucking much, look so good taking my cock baby-”

“Yeah, love taking you, so big, feel so good in me. Fuck me hard, Haz-”

Harry wasted no time in pulling back and slamming back into Louis, the chair sliding forward slightly with the force of his thrust. Louis cried out and bit down on his arm, trying to keep quiet as Harry pounded relentlessly into him, stretching him but Louis loved the burn, craved it, even. He tried to relax his body and accepted Harry’s cock over and over, the sensation of being full so very much but so good at the same time. “Oh Harry… love when you fuck me, love you-”

“Love you more, gonna fill you up, Lou. Gonna show you how fucking hot you are, how much you turn me on- fuck, want you to come on my cock-”

“Yeah, want that-” Louis panted out, dropping his forehead down as Harry shifted their position slightly, pushing Louis’ lower back down so his ass was pushed out even more. There were no more words between them as they chased their orgasms, both men taking from the other. Louis’ hand was working over his cock as Harry thrusted into him, splitting him open until Louis came with a cry, coming all over the back of the chair, whimpering Harry’s name again and again. One arm came back behind him and grabbed at Harry’s shoulder.

Louis’ breath was taken away when all of a sudden, Harry yanked at his hair, pulling him upright onto his knees as Harry pulled him down hard on his cock, one arm around his chest holding him up. Louis was oversensitive but he felt wanton and needed, and he loved how Harry’s other hand was wrapped around his semi-soft cock, making him whimper in slight pain. Louis could see their reflection in the window in front of them, only dim in the small lamp light but still, it was possibly the hottest thing he had ever seen.

“Come in me, Haz… want your come inside me, please-”

Harry just nodded and pulled Louis down hard several times as his grip on Louis’ cock tightened slightly, chasing his own orgasm. “Oh my- fuck, Louis, so good, baby, fuck-” He cut off and came silently, his mouth open in a silent scream, pumping come into his husband’s body, desperately trying to stay upright and hold Louis in their current position.

Eventually, he let go and Louis slumped forwards again, letting Harry slide his cock from his body. Harry dropped to his knees and stared for a moment at the trickle of come seeping from his husband’s hole, and darted forwards, kissing his rim softly, making Louis whine. He stood again and walked away for a second, grabbing a tissue and cleaning Louis up before he carried him back to the bed. He tucked Louis in before he disposed of the tissue and cuddled back in back with his husband, their naked bodies close together under the sheets.

“I love you so much,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ ear, running his fingertips up the soft skin of Louis’ back. He closed his eyes and buried his face into Louis’ neck, smelling the scent that so specifically Louis, it almost made him fall in love over again. Louis’ toes were stroking up and down Harry’s calf, and Harry had an idea that Louis had something to ask him. “Lou, everything okay?”

“Yeah, course. You were amazing, by the way. Always wanted to make good use out of that chair.” They both giggled at that, Louis shoving a thigh between both of Harry’s. He could feel Harry’s soft cock against his thigh, and smiled at the easy intimacy that was back between the pair of them. “But, um… I have something that I wanted to talk to you about?”

“Sure,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips softly again. “I love kissing you, you know. We should kiss more, babe.”

“Mmm, we should,” Louis muttered back, kissing Harry deeply, their tongues massaging each others. “Babe, I… I was wondering… about the songwriting thing.”

“Yeah?” Harry was half asleep but Louis knew if he didn't do it now, he might not pluck up the courage again. “You don’t want to write with me anymore?”

“No, no! Of course I do. We will definitely do that. But I know you’re struggling. And, um, I think it might be an idea if you, um-”

“Lou, spit it out.” Harry’s eyes were open again now, and Louis could sense his gaze on him, even in the low light of the bedroom, shadows cast on Harry's face.

“Okay, fine.  What would you say if I suggested you go on holiday somewhere, to write? On your own, I mean. I just thought maybe getting away from everything might help, you know, clear your head a bit?”

“No way, I’m not leaving you and Jake.” Harry sat up then, looking down at Louis who just stared up at his husband. “Louis, I’m your husband. I’m here to support you, and I can’t do that if I’m thousands of miles away from the pair of you.”

“Harry, if you’re worried about me not coping, please don’t. I’ll be fine, and so will Jake. You’re an amazing husband and father, but you also have your career to think about. I know how much your music means to you, and I just want you to be happy with that, with your career as well as your personal life.”

“I don’t know, I just… it feels wrong. We’ve only just things back on track between us, my love. I don’t want to abandon you, make you feel like I’m putting my career ahead of my marriage or something.”

“I know you’re not. But I want this if you do. I want you to make some more amazing music that I can listen to, and Jacob can dance around his bedroom to. I want you to be happy, and if that means surviving a week without you, I will do that, for you.”

“Let me think about it, okay? I just… it doesn’t feel right, Lou, but I’ll consider it. I promise.” Louis nodded, and tilted his head, accepting another kiss from his husband. “Now kiss me until I fall asleep? And no more talk about me going away, not now. Please?”

“Alright. I love you so much, Haz. I just hope you’ll think about it seriously, I’m just thinking about how I can help you, love.” Louis stretched out an arm and wrapped it around Harry’s body as he settled down next to him. “Sleep well, baby.”

“You too, Lou. Love you more.” Louis reached behind him to turn off the bedside light and smiled to himself before he kissed Harry’s forehead, his husband sound asleep in his arms now, where he belonged. Louis hated the thought of being apart from Harry, even if it was just for a week but ultimately, if it helped Harry get his head in the songwriting game, it would be worth the week of missing him and falling asleep by himself. Harry was worth pretty much everything. That much Louis knew.  


	61. Leaving On A Jet Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry decides to spoil Louis and gives him the answer to his earlier question. The family prepare and enjoy some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the delay, serious laptop problems! Hope you enjoy, more soon :)

It took Harry a whole week to come around to the idea of going away on his own without Louis and Jacob for the purpose of writing for his new album. After Louis had initially mentioned the idea, Harry ignored it for a long while, pretending that conversation hadn’t happened, much to Louis’ frustration. They went about their routine as normal, pretending things were fine, still attending their counselling sessions, which Louis was becoming more and more comfortable with. In fact, Louis had started to share things about himself without Harry and Katie prompting him at the last session, a fact which had left Harry astounded and a little emotional. It was the small steps Louis was making which were the most important to Harry as they meant so much.

Louis’ last week at work had been hard, but Harry had been proud when he’d come home and asked to talk to Harry about instead of bottling it up. They’d put Jacob to bed and had spent an hour together in their huge bathtub in their room, talking things through, and it had been the most relaxed either of them had felt in a while. Louis had gone to sleep that night completely chilled out, hadn’t woken up once, and in the morning, he felt rested and calm inside, something he was desperate to feel more of.

Louis finished work Friday evening to find a text message waiting on his phone from his husband. Jacob had asked to go and stay with Nanny Anne that night as the pair of them had concocted some sort of plan to make Robin a birthday cake, and they wanted to do a trial run of it before the big day in a few weeks time. Louis had easily agreed, and as he read what Harry had sent him, the big smile didn't leave his face.

Louis almost squealed with excitement when he got into his car. La Traviarta was his favourite restaurant in town but it was the one they saved for special occasions, and was often the one they went to without Jacob. It was expensive, which of course wasn’t an issue for either of them, but it meant more when they went there since they didn't go often. Louis also appreciated putting on some nice clothes every now and then and dashed home eager to get ready.

A pile of mail was sitting on the doormat when he got home, and he frowned down at an official looking envelope, popping it on the side as he headed into the kitchen, greeting their excited puppy before opening the back door and letting him out into the garden. Louis followed him out and sat on the brick wall, watching Percy bound around the lawn, surprised at how big he was getting all of a sudden. He threw Percy’s ball a few times for him before he called him inside, setting him down some fresh water and food before he headed upstairs, pulling off his tie as he climbed the stairs. The house was peaceful without either his husband or his son, and Louis relished in the silence for a short while. He took off his work clothes, dumping in the laundry basket in their bedroom and strutted around in his boxers while he decided what to wear. A suit was hanging on the outside of Harry’s wardrobe, along with a pair of red leather boots sat on the floor that Louis loved to see his husband in.

He picked out a dark blue suit that he hadn’t worn in a while, along with a soft grey shirt and his only smart leather shoes, the ones he had worn to their wedding almost a year ago now. He flicked on his iPhone which connected to the little speaker in the bedroom, blasting out one of Louis’ favourite playlists. He didn't get a chance to hear the music he loved very often, unless he was driving somewhere alone in the car, and he was determined to make the most of the time he had before Harry returned home. Skipping along and singing to his heart’s content, Louis danced his way into the large bathroom, turning the shower on and leaving it to warm up. He looked in the mirror, rubbing his hand over his scruff before he decided to surprise Harry and shave it all off. 

It wasn’t often Louis was clean shaven, preferring to have a beard that he knew Harry loved, especially as Harry couldn’t seem to grow more than a thin layer of stubble, but it still felt odd to him to look in the mirror and see bare cheeks. He was pretty pleased when he rinsed off his face and saw he hadn’t cut himself at all, and he slathered on one of Harry's expensive moisturisers, ignoring the slight sting as he did so. He sang at the top of his voice as he went into the shower cubicle, smoke billowing out of the top as he washed his hair and his body, excitement thrumming through his veins at the night out with his husband.

Louis was too busy with the lyrics of the song and keeping the shampoo out of his eyes that he didn't even notice Harry sneaking into the bathroom. Harry, of course, thought it was hilarious to see Louis in such a state, entirely unaware he was being watched, and he quickly took all his clothes off, pulling open the door as quickly and quietly as he could, snaking his arms around Louis’ waist.

“What the fuck- get off me!” Louis screamed, elbowing backwards, Harry shouting out in pain. “Oh god- Haz? What the hell were you doing sneaking up on me?”

“Thought I’d surprise my husband in the shower, wish I hadn’t bothered!” Harry moaned, rubbing at his sore side, the patch of skin reddening where Louis’ elbow had made contact. “Shit, Lou, that really fucking hurt.”

Louis felt incredibly guilty as he turned around, seeing the expression of pain on his husband’s face. He knew he’d reacted out of reaction rather than intending to hurt Harry but even so, knowing he’d caused his husband pain wasn’t the nicest of things to think about. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I just… I honestly didn't know it was you, and you scared the shit out of me, you really did.” He hugged Harry then, rubbing with his palm at where he’d hurt Harry, kissing his lips softly.

“What happened to your beard, Lou?” Harry asked, a little shocked as he took in his husband’s appearance. His hands came up and cradled Louis’ now bare cheeks, running back and forth for a moment, as if trying to commit the touch to memory or something. “I… god, you look amazing… wow.”

Louis blushed slightly, ducking his head so Harry wasn’t staring straight at him, but he couldn’t deny he loved it when Harry treated him like that. Harry leaned in, running the very tip of his tongue up Louis’ cheek, making the older man shudder. “I, uh, I shaved. I thought since we were going somewhere nice, I’d make an effort. Always feel smart when I get rid of the stubble.”

“Well, I love you either way. I mean, you know I love your scruff… love how it feels, well, you know. But I love this too. Shows off your gorgeous cheekbones. Give us a kiss, Lou.” Louis grinned and obliged, tilting his head back for Harry to kiss him, pulling him under the spray. Before the kiss could get too dirty and out of hand, Louis pulled away, whirling Harry around so he could wash his hair. He knew Harry had only washed it that morning but it was something he loved to do, and he knew Harry loved it almost as much as he did, loved the sensation of Louis’ fingertips against his sensitive scalp.

“God, that’s nice,” Harry moaned, letting Louis take full control now. When Louis was done and had put conditioner through Harry’s hair, he left it for a moment and started to wash Harry’s body. They kissed lazily as he did so, but again, before anything could turn sexual, Louis rinsed Harry’s hair and turned off the water, Harry dripping and pouting as Louis got out of the cubicle, wrapping a soft towel around his hips and holding one out for Harry.

“We do not have time for sex, Tomlinson. Our reservation is in an hour, and you know how long it takes you to get ready.” Harry grumbled and rolled his eyes but he did as Louis asked, following him out of the shower and into the bedroom, where Louis was now walking around naked, evidently air-drying himself after the shower. Harry watched with dark eyes as Louis fetched them both underwear and socks, laying on the bed next to their suits, shoes sat on the floor waiting to be put on downstairs.

Louis plugged in his hairdryer, quickly coiffing his locks into a sideswept fringe he knew Harry loved on him, and they changed places while Louis got dressed, taking care not to crease his shirt as he put it on, sliding the blazer over the top. The hairdryer stopped and Louis laughed as Harry bent over to put it away in the bottom of the wardrobe, giving Louis an eyeful as he was still butt naked.

“Do you have no shame, love?” Louis called, and Harry straightened up and laughed, wiggling his bare backside at Louis, who just wolf-whistled. Harry got dressed quickly, much to Louis’ surprise but it made sense when Harry ambled over a minute later, something clutched in his hand. 

“Um, do you mind, Lou?” Harry asked, passing Louis the small bottle of black nail varnish.

“Course not. You haven’t done this in ages, babe. Glad you are now though, I love it when you paint your nails.” They sat on the bed and Louis put the small glass bottle on the bedside table, cleanly swiping the brush down each nail until all ten were black, repeating the motion for a second coat. Harry was used to sitting still for this, and Louis had the steady hand of a man who had done this countless times to his little sisters. “There. My beautiful princess.”

Harry snorted at that and wafted his fingers around, trying to get them to air dry. He groaned as he realised he hadn’t put his socks on before he’d done his nails so Louis got to his knees, helping maneuver Harry’s big feet into them, not able to resist the urge to tickle Harry’s feet as he did so. What felt like hours later but was really only around forty-five minutes, they were both ready and in the car, Harry driving them to the restaurant.

“Stay there, Lou,” he mumbled as he climbed out of the car, shrugging on his coat before he went around the vehicle, opening Louis’ car door for him. Harry loved acting like a gentleman around his husband, and Louis loved letting him. They walked across the car park hand in hand, looking like a picture perfect couple. Harry opened the door for Louis, placing a soft hand on Louis’ lower back as they walked inside, heading for the reception area, waiting patiently for a waitress to come over and seat them. “Oh, hi. Um, I have a reservation for two?”

“Certainly Sir, and what’s the name?” The eyes of the blonde stayed down on her diary, and Louis felt bemused that she hadn’t yet clocked who she was talking to.

“Harry Tomlinson,” Harry answered, a smile on his lips as he squeezed Louis’ hand. Using his married name never got old for Harry, and Louis loved so much that Harry adored his name as much as ever. The girl’s eyes flicked up then and Louis saw the dawn of recognition in her eyes, the edges of lips coming up into a small smile as she looked properly at them both for the first time.

“Um, follow me,” she asked, taking two menus from the stand next to her and leading the way. Louis clutched Harry’s hand tightly as they wove through the small selection of tables until they reached their own near the back, a dark blue candle burning between them both. The waitress took their coats and Harry pulled out Louis’ seat for him, making sure he was seated before Harry did so, opposite Louis, and they accepted the menus with gracious smiles.

“So, what’s all this fuss for?” Louis asked, his eyes gliding over the wonderful selection on the menu. He didn't usually eat posh food, preferring what he called normal food that he or Harry cooked themselves at home, but ever so often, it was nice to splurge and have something a little decadent. Harry ordered them a rather expensive bottle of wine to share, saying he’d just get them a taxi home so they didn't have to worry about anything, Louis quickly agreeing.

“Do I need a reason to spoil my husband?” Harry asked, arching his eyebrow at Louis, who shook his head in amusement. “I just wanted to do something nice for you, Lou. I feel like things between us are good again, and I, uh, just wanted to celebrate that, in my own funny way? You know I love looking after you, and I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. Oh, thank you.”

A waitress came over with their bottle and uncorked it, handing it to Harry to pour. He gave each of them a generous glassful, and they picked up the glasses, Harry holding in his air.

“To you, my darling Lou.”

“To us,” Louis said with a wink, the pair clinking glasses gently before they sipped on the rich red liquid, Louis humming in contentment as the smooth liquid slid down his throat. “Good wine, babe, well done.”

“I may or may not have asked Robin to recommend me a good one for tonight,” Harry admitted, making Louis laugh, ignoring the stares of the other customers and staff as they enjoyed each other company. They decided not to bother with starters, instead sharing the basket of bread provided, and ordered their mains. Harry went for a prawn pasta dish, while Louis spoilt himself with a steak, something he wouldn’t usually have at home. The conversation flowed easily between them as they waited for their meals, but then Harry began to get a little quiet, and Louis sensed there was something his husband wanted to say.

Harry seemed unable to work up the courage, so Louis decided to be kind and nudge Harry in the right direction. “Baby, is there something you wanted to say? You’ve gone all quiet like you do when there’s something you need to tell me but you don’t know how. You’re weirdly like Jacob when you’re like this.”

“Oh god, really? I’m that obvious?” Harry groaned, his head in his hands now, elbows propped up on the table. He looked up and chuckled at Louis, sipping his wine and clearly preparing himself for whatever it was he had to say. “Okay, so I’ve been thinking lately-”

“Careful-” Louis quipped, snorting at his own sense of humour while Harry just rolled his eyes, ignoring it as best he could.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking, about what you said the other night in bed.” Louis was going to make another joke but decided better of it, realising Harry was looking quite serious now. “Um, about me going away to write music?” Louis nodded, and Harry reached for his hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth over Louis’ skin as he kept talking. “I really didn't like the idea, but I, uh, I talked to Niall about it, how I was struggling and what you’d said, and he thought it might be worth a try?”

“I really think it might be best, love,” Louis said, feeling emotional already at the thought of Harry leaving him while he went away, but in the grand scope of things, in the fact it was only a week out of the lifetime they were going to spend together, he felt he might be able to cope. “I mean, I’ll miss you, so fucking much, of course I will, and so will Jake, but if it means you can write something beautiful and get the album rolling, it’ll be worth it.” He smiled, but he could sense the hesitance in Harry. “Honey, please. I swear this is fine.”

“I just… I hate leaving you behind, Lou. I remember when we first got together and I had to go round Europe. It was horrible. Cold, lonely hotel rooms, not being able to wake up to you, or having a morning cuppa with Jake. It fucking sucks, and I hate the thought of going through all that again.”

“Well, let’s make it different, then,” Louis said, rapidly thinking up something that might be a good alternative for Harry. “Instead of a hotel, go for a small villa or an apartment or something. Somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, or somewhere you know will be inspirational to- you’ve already thought of somewhere, haven’t you?” Harry nodded shyly, a small smile crossing his lips, and Louis was suddenly eager to hear more. “Where?! Come on, tell me!”

“Um, Italy,” he admitted, sipping again on his wine. They both sat back from the table as their meals were brought over, and they put their napkins in their laps before they began to eat while Harry continued to talk. “I went to a little place in Lake Como a couple of years ago, someone in the label had a place I could stay in, and it was beautiful. I’d love to take you one day, actually. But, I’d like that mainly because it isn’t too far away from home if you and Jacob needed me, and I found it really peaceful, especially where the house was that I stayed in.”

“Then go there, my love,” Louis said around a mouthful of steak, biting back a moan at how the meat melted in his mouth. “It sounds wonderful. If that’s what you think will help you, I promise I support you wholeheartedly. We can afford it, so get somewhere amazing to stay in, and write some beautiful music.”

“Are you really sure, Lou?” Harry asked once more, offering a fork of his pasta over to Louis who ate it eagerly, wishing he’d selected the pasta dish now, it was so delicious. “We’ll swap in a minute, don’t worry. But babe, you promise you’re okay with this? I don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you or something.”

“Haz, this was my idea. I promise it’s fine. I managed seven years raising Jacob without you, and while I don’t want to do it full time on my own now, I can manage a week or two. Just… write me a song or something, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” Harry said, standing up enough that he could lean over the table and kiss Louis. They smiled softly at each other for a moment and ate until Harry couldn’t take Louis’ hungry eyes anymore and relented. “Oh for god’s sakes, give me your plate!” He passed his over to Louis who tucked in eagerly and Harry couldn’t help but laugh, more in love with his husband than ever. “What on earth am I ever going to do without you?” he mused, watching Louis slurp a piece of pasta between his lips, shrugging at the question. “Don’t ever want to have to find out.”

*

Harry and Louis booked flights the next day, Louis encouraging him to do so before Harry changed his mind about everything. He called his friend at the record label who confirmed that his small place in Italy was free in just over a week’s time for the two week period Harry was flying out, and suddenly, everything seemed very real. They hadn’t yet broken the news to Jacob, but wanted to sooner rather than later, wanting the news to sink in before Harry had to leave.

It was later that week that they sat down at the kitchen table one Wednesday evening before Harry was due to go. He’d started to pack a few things into the small suitcase he was taking, stowed away in the bottom of their walk in wardrobe so Jacob wouldn’t see it and start asking questions before they were ready. Harry had just helped him with his latest maths homework, trying to get his head around the modern ways of teaching multiplication and division, despite Louis’ insistence he could do it as that was his job.

“Lou, I need to learn! I mean, I know how I would do it, but it’s all different now and I want to be able to help Jake in school. Please, let me work it out? I’ll ask if I need help.” Louis had nodded and left them to it, instead going and relaxing in the lounge, playing the latest episode of Match of the Day he hadn’t got around to watching yet.

“Look Daddy, Dad said I got them all right!” Jacob ran into the sitting room, jumping onto Louis’ lap, waving a sheet in the air. A big smile was on his face, and Louis took the paper, eyes taking it all in, pleased to see Jacob had indeed done everything correctly.

“Hey, superstar! Mr Fox told us the other week at Parents Evening you were a Maths genius, and I guess he was right!” Jacob giggled and nodded, hopping up off Louis’ lap and running back to Harry and his school bag, shoving the piece of paper inside so he wouldn’t forget it. Jacob was always keen to get his homework done quickly, preferably the night it was set, and Louis was hopeful that would continue long into his schooling. 

Harry wandered in then and lifted Louis’ legs, sitting down and resting his ankles on Harry’s thigh, stroking at the bare skin at the bottom of Louis’ jogging bottoms. “He’s such a good boy. He listens so well. I’m so proud of him, babe,” Harry mused quietly, watching as Jacob came in and joined them, curling up on the armchair and pulling his blanket over his knees. Harry looked to Louis and they shared a small look, both knowing what the other was thinking without words, and Harry swallowed, readying himself to break the news of his departure.

“Um, Jake, come sit here for a sec?” Jacob nodded and ran over, his blanket in his hand as he settled between Harry and Louis, his head against Harry’s chest. It was a rainy evening, they could hear the rain lashing down against the windows, but it made their cosy sitting room all the better to be inside at that moment. “We have something we need to tell you, Jake.”

Jake looked worried for a moment, and started biting at his fingernail. Louis flicked off the TV with the remote and took his son’s hand, trying to discourage him from nibbling any more. “Are you and Dad getting a diborce?” His eyes flitted between Harry and Louis, who were shocked at what Jacob had come out with.

“What? No! Dad and I are very much in love, and love being married to each other,” Louis hurried to reassure him, squeezing Jacob’s hand. “I thought you knew things were okay now between us, that Dad and I love each other, and you, and we want to be together, to be a family?”

“I do, just… Abby told us today in class her parents were getting a diborce-”

“Divorce,” Harry correctly gently, and Jacob nodded.

“Her mummy and daddy were getting a divorce-” he pronounced the word carefully, smiling when Harry nodded proudly when he got it correct “-and she said they talked to her first and said her daddy was moving out.”

“Well, that’s not happening here, I promise,” Harry said, holding Louis’ hand in front of Jacob so he could see the touch. “We do have something to tell you, but I promise we are not splitting up, no way.” Jacob looked happier at that and a frown crossed his brow as he worked out what was going on. “Okay, so you know how I write music and sing songs for my job?”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, and you’re the bestest singer in the world.”

“Thank you, love,” Harry said, ruffling Jacob’s hair. “Well, it’s been a bit tricky lately to write some new songs, which is a bit annoying. So I talked to Daddy lots about it, and he had a really good idea. He said I should go on a little business trip to see if I can write some music somewhere else, just for a little while.” They stayed silent for a moment, letting Jacob think it over.

“Okay. So you’re coming back when you’ve writed your new songs?” Harry nodded.

“Yes, love. I will be gone about two weeks, which isn’t too long at all. And when I come back, we can all go in the studio and play them, and you can tell me what you think. How does that sound?”

Jacob looked thoughtful for a moment, biting his lip. “Well, I mean… it’s pants that you’re going away because I will miss you. But if it means I get new songs then it’s good. Will you buy me a present?”

Harry laughed and Louis looked mortified, shaking his head. “God, you are all about the presents, aren’t you?” he teased, elbowing Jacob gently who just nodded with a grin. 

“Of course, presents for both of you,” Harry said, pulling Jacob closer for a hug. “But I’m going to miss you so much, you know that, right?”

“I do,” Jacob admitted, kissing Harry. “I love you and I will miss you. But me and Daddy can have fun too, and we can FaceTime and text you and stuff. And I can keep your side of the bed warm too, and walk Percy!” Percy looked up from where he was laid on the carpet at the mention of his name, grumbling when he realised it was nothing exciting and curled back, tucking his tail around his back legs. “Will you miss Percy?”

“Course I will, but you and Daddy will take super good care of him, right?” Jacob nodded, climbing over Harry’s lap to get on the floor, crawling over to kiss Percy on his head, disturbing the puppy from his sleep again. Percy just licked Jacob’s hand, making him giggle, and Harry and Louis watched as the pair played on the floor, Jacob playing tug of war with Percy’s tatty old rope he seemed to love.

“Well, that went well,” Louis said quietly so Jacob couldn’t hear. “I mean, I daresay he’ll be upset when you actually leave, but he took it well. He’s getting so grown up, it’s scary.”

“He really is,” Harry murmured back. “Eight soon, Lou. I can’t believe I met him when he just turned six and now he’s nearly eight. Wow. Where does the time go?”

“It goes too quickly, that’s for sure,” Louis agreed, both men laughing when Percy pounced on Jacob’s tummy, licking up his cheek, Jacob screaming for mercy now. “Time flies when you’re having fun…”

*

Before they knew it, Harry was packed and ready to go. He was being collected by Niall the following morning, neither of them wanting to put Jacob through the airport trauma anymore than he had to be. Harry’s suitcase sat at the bottom of the stairs, a plane bag on top containing his passport and tickets prepared by Louis, along with a letter and picture Jacob had snuck in while Harry was in the shower earlier on. 

“Right, you found the DVD you want to watch?” Harry called, sliding the pizzas he, Jacob and Louis had made earlier on onto the oven tray, and setting them on top of the counter while he pre-heated the oven. They’d had so much fun together decorating the pizzas. Each of them made one, but Jacob had managed to get himself involved in both Louis’ and Harry’s anyway, chucking on all manner of meat and vegetables he could find, but it was the most fun they’d had in a while. 

Louis had got pizza sauce in his hair inexplicably and was currently in the shower while Harry got everything ready for their final family night for a few weeks. He was a little emotional at the thought but was trying to hold it together for Jacob’s sake, knowing his son would crumble if he did. 

“Yes, Dad! Can I give Percy his bone back now, please?!”

“Yeah but be careful, don’t put it near the table or he’ll hit his head again!” Harry shouted back, worried for the state of the puppy’s brain if he kept whacking his head on their furniture. Harry could hear Jacob chattering away to the dog as he grabbed some cans of fizzy drink and Jacob’s favourite J2O’s from the fridge, taking them into the sitting room. He and Louis had set out almost every blanket they owned onto the floor earlier along with all the pillows from their beds upstairs. They were all in their comfiest clothes, and Harry felt it was already the perfect evening.

He wandered back in as Louis came down, hair still damp from the shower, one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts hanging from his slender frame, shorts slung low on his hips. Harry controlled himself for a while, knowing he was going to show Louis later on how much he loved him and was going to miss him in the privacy of their bedroom. “Hey sweetheart,” he said, moving over to hug Louis for a second, kissing the top of his head. “You look beautiful.”

“Haz, I’m in one of your t-shirts and some tatty old shorts. Hardly beautiful.” 

“Well, I always think you’re beautiful but I love seeing you all cosy,” Harry said softly, sliding his hands up under Louis’ top, touching his skin, fingertips pressing in lightly. “Pizzas are ready to go in the oven, I’ve got drinks, Jacob’s got nearly every pillow we own on the floor, and the DVD is ready to go. Anything I’ve missed?”

Louis pondered for a moment before he shook his head. “What are we watching then?”

“The Incredibles!” Jacob screeched from the floor where he was curled around Percy. Louis rolled his eyes at Harry but settled on the floor, grabbing a pillow and holding it against his stomach as Harry crowded up closer. Jacob pressed the button on the remote in his hand and the movie began to play. They were making the most out of the big speakers attached to the TV, and it was rather loud as the action sequences began in earnest.

Harry slipped out after a short while, popping the pizzas in the oven and setting a timer on his phone before he snuggled back against Louis. When the timer rang out, Louis pushed Harry back down to the floor as he grabbed the pizzas, bringing them in along with some small plates. They looked delicious, Harry had to admit. The cheese was bubbling and golden, there was a nice variety of toppings on them and best of all, they were homemade. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of one before sending it to Anne and Jay, and then posting it on Twitter.

Jacob sipped at his straw while Louis and Harry divvied up the pizzas, putting a few pieces onto each plate, giving Jacob one which he balanced carefully in his laps.

“Thanks, Dads,” he said, making both men smile. Jacob got up and parked himself between the two again, all eyes on the TV as Jacob laughed away at Baby Jack, and Mr Incredible. It was a fun movie, and Harry was pleased Jacob had picked something tolerable to watch rather than something he and Louis both hated having to watch. They ate as they watched, Jacob giving a running commentary on everything as usual, and by the time the movie finished, his little eyelids were drooping.

“Mind if I do the bedtime thing tonight?” Harry whispered to Louis, who understood. Harry scooped up the sleepy little boy in his arms and climbed the stairs, Jacob mumbling something about the film as he let his eyes flutter shut. Harry managed to keep him awake long enough to brush his teeth and use the toilet before he tucked him up, covers up to his chin, his favourite stuffed animal of the moment right in next to him.

“Dad, I’m really going to miss you,” Jacob muttered quietly, his voice wobbling slightly with emotion. “Do you really have to go to Italy?”

“Yeah, I do, my love,” Harry said softly back, stroking Jacob’s hair. “I won’t be gone too long, though. All I ask is that you’re a super good boy for Daddy, and keep making me proud at school so when I get home, you’ve got lots of good things to show me and tell me.”

“But I can FaceTime you, right?” Jacob said, looking a little worried now at the idea that he couldn’t contact his dad at all while Harry was away. “Please, I need to be able to talk to you, or-”

“Hey, calm down, sweetheart.” Harry held Jacob close for a minute, shushing him gently. “I will try to call everyday and speak to you before bed. And yes, we can definitely FaceTime. I’m going to miss you, but when I come back, we’ll have lots of fun, and I’ll have some new songs for you to learn.”

“Good. I love you, Dad,” Jacob said, pulling his dad close for a big kiss. “Night night.”

“Night my little man.” Harry pecked Jacob once more and hugged him tightly before he stood, watching Jacob snuggle up under the covers, smiling over to him. “I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know, I promise.” He waved and walked out, sniffing back the tears as he saw Louis coming up the stairs, several pillows stuffed under his arms. 

“Might as well go to bed for a cuddle?” Harry nodded and took two pillows from Louis, following him into their bedroom. “Thanks babe.” Harry neatened up the bed while Louis put a few things away from earlier on, leaving the room nice and tidy. Together, they stripped off their clothes down to their boxers and climbed under the covers, bodies curling around the others automatically, so used to that position they found themselves doing it without thinking.

“Fuck, how am I supposed to go to sleep without my Louis cuddles?” Harry moaned, already dreading having to sleep alone for the next few weeks. He hadn’t liked it just a couple of weeks ago when Louis had slept away from him for the first proper time since they’d been married, and although things were different now, he still hated the thought of being alone in bed, too used to Louis’ body next to his. “You have no idea how much I am going to miss you, Lou.”

“I think I might,” Louis retorted, pulling Harry into a kiss. It didn't take long for things to get passionate between them, Harry rolling Louis gently onto his back and pushing him into the mattress with his hips. Their sex life was most certainly back on track, and Harry knew sex was going to be another thing he would struggle to go without, especially as he and Louis had always been a very physical couple in that regard. He moaned as Louis tugged at his hair, pushing his head down towards his chest. “Play with my nipples, babe…”

Harry nodded and shifted his body so he was between Louis’ legs, and sucked Louis’ left one into his mouth, whirling his tongue around the hard nub, enjoying how Louis was responding to the touch with the arch of his back, one of his legs coming up to wrap around Harry’s lower back, keeping them close. Harry was now straddling the other leg and grinding down against it, making Louis moan even more.

“Oh god-” Louis moaned, closing his eyes in pleasure as Harry switched to the other nipple, using his fingers to play with the other one now, Louis seeking attention for his cock as well. “Baby- oh god, want you to fuck me tonight, fuck me hard, Harry-”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Harry panted out as he popped off Louis’ nipple, kissing his way down Louis’ chest and stomach to his happy trail that he loved so much. He stared up at Louis’ face from his position, chin on the slight pudge of Louis’ stomach and he kissed it softly, meeting Louis’ eyes for a moment. “Do you need me to-”

Louis shook his head vehemently and Harry felt surprised, ducking his head to nuzzle into Louis’ bulge, loving the feeling and scent that enveloped him as he did so. There was something so very  _ Louis  _ about it, and Harry could never get enough. He loved wearing Louis’ clothes for that very reason, and he smiled at the thought of how many of Louis’ tops he’d squirreled away for his trip, probably more than his own if he was honest. “No, I, uh, I prepped myself in the shower earlier, when you and Jake were downstairs. Didn't want to waste time… we don’t have enough time together as it is…” He sniffed and Harry moved again, coming up to kiss Louis as he grabbed the bottle of lube from the bedside drawer.

“Do you want any fingers, Lou?” Harry asked, kneeling between Louis’ thighs then as his husband shook his head. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, just… I want to feel you, Haz. I don’t want to forget-” He shuddered out a breath then, and Harry realised he was getting emotional too. He swallowed and nodded, putting lube on his cock as he didn't want to hurt Louis any more than he had to and slowly lined up. Before he pushed inside, he laid down almost flat, so their bodies were practically touching from head to toe, and he dipped his tongue inside Louis’ mouth, connecting them there before he started to thrust gently inside, Louis gasping into the kiss as Harry breached him. 

“Lou… oh god, so good, feel so good for me,” Harry breathed out, bottoming out and staying still for a moment. Louis scrabbled down to reach for Harry’s hand, and they clung on to each other as Harry began to rock his hips, their bodies moving in sync as they made love to each other. There were little words exchanged between them, both men kissing each other desperately, hands touching, tongues seeking out the other. It was romantic, it was loving, and it was everything Harry needed. “I’m going to miss you so much-” he choked out, pressing his lips roughly against Louis’ for a moment before he sat up enough to stare into Louis’ beautiful blue eyes.

“Not as much as I’ll miss you,” Louis said, tears falling down to the pillow now as he began to cry softly. It broke Harry’s heart to watch, and he stopped moving, his cock still buried inside Louis as he tried to kiss him and make it better, knowing the only thing that would stop their pain was his return in a couple of weeks. “Harry, I’m so sorry, for everything I did, for ever making you feel I didn't love you, I’m so fucking sorry-” he sobbed then and Harry couldn’t help it. He pulled out of Louis’ body and quickly laid down on the mattress, scooping Louis up into his arms and holding him close.

“Hey, baby, come on, please don’t cry, you’re breaking my heart, Lou,” he whispered, rocking them together slightly as Louis cried on his chest. “I know we had a rough patch, and it was shit, you know it and I know it. But as always, we came through it together, you and me, just like we always do, just like we always will. We’re a forever kinda thing, you know? I’m not ever walking away from you or our marriage. I promise you that, Lou. I promised on our wedding day to love you forever, and I intend to keep that promise.”

“I really don’t deserve you,” Louis whispered back, wiping at his eyes with the edge of the pillowcase. “I just… I nearly fucked this up. And I’ll never forgive myself for that, not ever. I nearly lost the best thing that happened to me… you.”

“You won’t lose me. Not ever,” Harry reassured him, kissing Louis again, feeling Louis’ fingertips dig into his shoulder blades as they kissed deeply. “I’m yours forever, Lou. You’re all I want, so much it hurts sometimes.”

“Then show me,” Louis muttered back, eyes locked on Harry’s now, sniffing back his final few tears, eyes dark again. “Show me how much you love me.”

Harry nodded and pulled himself away from Louis again, blinking in surprise as Louis got onto his hands and knees in front of him.

“Make me feel you for days, Harry,” he rasped out, looking back at Harry over his shoulder. Harry’s heart was racing and he nodded again, sinking back into Louis’ body with ease. Both men groaned and Harry tried to stifle his noise, all too aware of his son sleeping just down the hall. He started off gentle but Louis kept pushing back into his thrusts, wordlessly telling Harry he wanted more. “Please, more-”

Harry grabbed Louis’ hips roughly and pulled his back onto his cock, making Louis whimper, but he knew that was exactly what Louis was after. He repeated it over and over again, looking down to watch himself fuck his husband and despite the roughness, there was such love and devotion behind every thrust that Harry wanted to cry all over again. Instead, he snaked one hand up Louis’ spine and grabbed at his hair, the way he knew Louis liked and started a relentless rhythm, the bodies and sweaty skin slapping together, the noise turning Harry on even more.

“Fuck, want me to fill you up, Lou?” he muttered, and Louis nodded, biting down on his lip, adjusting his position to let his top half rest against the bed, allowing him to start touching himself, needing some sort of contact with his cock to push him over the edge. Harry pounded back into Louis again and again, watching the motions of Louis’ arm as he tugged at his cock, muttering words of love and filth into the room, driving them both closer to the edge. 

“Oh fuck, Harry, I’m gonna- oh god, Harry-” Louis cried out too loudly as he came hard, stroking himself through his orgasm, Harry trying to hold off on coming until Louis was done. He loved how Louis felt clenching around him, and he started to move again as Louis stilled himself, just taking what Harry to give him. “Come on, Haz, don’t- just give it to me, fuck, I want it-”

“Yeah, gonna give you what you want-” Harry murmured, fucking hard into Louis as his orgasm took hold of his body, nerve endings fizzing with the pleasure he was feeling as he started to spill into Louis’ body. The curve of Louis’ spine had never looked better as Louis stuck his ass higher into the air, holding his cheeks apart so Harry could watch his final few thrusts, making sure Louis’ body was filled with every drop of his release. “Shit, you are so fucking sexy, all mine, aren’t you?”

Louis just nodded, and as Harry pulled out, he frowned, watching Louis roll to the side. Harry flopped back against the mattress trying to catch his breath, and when he realised when Louis held in his hand, he gasped, narrowing his eyes, wondering what was going to happen. Louis smirked and turned around so Harry could see his bum and the come dripping out of it, teasing him even more.

“Lou, you’re not- oh fuck, you are,” Harry mumbled, propping himself up on his elbows so he could get a better look at what Louis was doing. His eyes flew open as he watched the black butt plug in Louis’ hand circle his rim, teasing himself before he slowly started to push it inside, moaning lowly as the widest part stretched him open again, and soon, it was inside, the base buried between his cheeks. “Shit, I didn't- fuck.”

Louis all but giggled and turned around again, coming to rest against Harry’s body, kissing his lips lightly. “I love you. Want to keep you in me as long as I can.”

“Damn right, remember who you belong to,” Harry teased, laughing as Louis swatted at his bicep. “I hate to say it but we need to sleep, love. Niall’s gonna be here just before seven, and I know we want to have breakfast and stuff before I leave.”

“Don’t. Don’t say that, I hate it,” Louis admitted, closing his eyes and throwing a leg across Harry’s bare thighs. “I love you so much, I wish I hadn’t suggested this stupid trip but I know it’s for the best. And it’s only two weeks. We can do two weeks, right?”

“Right,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ lips one more time. “Goodnight, my beautiful husband.”

“Goodnight, my Harry Tomlinson,” Louis returned, holding Harry’s left hand in his own, fiddling with his wedding ring. “My beautiful, beautiful boy.”

*

“Come on love, please stop crying,” Harry begged as Jacob sat on his lap, already sobbing. He’d started pretty much as Louis had prepared breakfast for the sleepy family in the kitchen and hadn’t stopped since, which left Percy very confused and circling the little boy, trying to find whatever it was that was upsetting him so much. He’d ended up distressed too, and Louis had locked him in the sitting room, not needing to worry about the dog as well as his son.

“I just- I’m- I’m gonna miss you-” Jacob mumbled, his breaths coming in little sobs and hiccups now as Harry rubbed his back gently, trying to calm him down although he felt he was failing miserably. “I just-you’re the bestest dad in the whole world, and I love you-”

“I love you too,” Harry whispered, kissing Jacob’s cheek. He gulped as the doorbell rang out and Jacob cried louder, arms tightening around Harry’s neck to the point where it actually felt uncomfortable. He watched as Louis slipped out of the kitchen and headed for the front door, chatting quietly to Niall before the pair made their way back into the kitchen. Harry smiled tightly at Niall, trying to extricate himself from Jacob’s vice-like grip and stand up.

“Jake, come on, let Dad go,” Louis said gently, coming to prise Jacob’s arms from around Harry’s neck. In the end, it took both Louis and Niall to pull the little boy away from him while Harry dashed upstairs, grabbing the last of his things, and he swiped his t-shirt off, putting on a fresh one, an idea forming in his head. He darted downstairs to see Jacob sniffing in Niall’s arm, and he was pleased the loud sobbing had abated somewhat.

“Come here, love,” Harry beckoned, and Jacob wriggled down from Niall and ran at Harry, straight into his lap again. He reached up and put the t-shirt he’d been wearing over Jacob’s head, the little boy immediately clutching the fabric in his little hands, smiling at it as he looked down at himself. “You can wear this to bed while I’m gone, then it’s like a little piece of you is here with me, okay?”

“Thank you Dad. I love you,” Jacob said, leaning in to kiss his dad’s cheek. He was smiling now, and Harry was pleased to see the smile back on his son’s face.

“Hey kiddo, want to help me put Dad’s bags in the car? You can choose him some music too, for the journey.” Niall held out his hand and Jacob took it, Niall winking at the pair as he walked off, giving Louis and Harry a few moments of much needed privacy to say goodbye to each other. They woke up an hour before Jacob did, Louis making love to Harry quietly as they cried together again, dreading the separation but wanting to be close to each other once more before Harry left. They shared a shower before Jacob finally awoke, and they had breakfast together.

“Be safe, okay?” Louis said, stepping into Harry’s arms, nuzzling into his chest. “Text me at the airport, and when you land. You know I’ll only worry if I don’t hear from you.”

“I will, I promise,” Harry replied, kissing Louis gently. “I’ll call tonight as well, and every other night. You take of our little man and I’ll be home before you know it, I promise, Lou.  Love you, so fucking much. Thank you for this, for supporting me, for letting me do this.”

“Anything you need, you know that,” Louis promised back, tightening his hold on Harry for a second before he stepped back, yanking his husband’s face down into a deep kiss. The horn tooted then and they pulled apart, pressing their foreheads together before they kissed one more time. “Oh, um, there’s a couple of letters in your plane bag, read them when you’re on the plane, or at the apartment?”

“I will.” Harry reached out and Louis tucked his hand inside Harry’s as they walked outside, laughing at the sight of Jacob dancing around on the passenger seat, Kiwi playing loudly through the speakers. “Come on you, back to Dad.” Harry hoisted Jacob out and into Louis’ arms, wrapping his own arms around both of his boys for a minute, kissing each of them in turn. “I love you both, don’t you forget that, okay? I’ll be home really soon, and we’ll do something special when I’m back, I promise.”

Jacob nodded, tears filling his eyes again as he clung to Louis, bottom lip wobbling as he struggled to be brave. “See you soon Dad, love you so much, I miss you already-” He cried again and buried his head in Louis’ neck, Harry’s heart-breaking at the sight.

“Go, my love,” Louis encouraged, knowing the longer they strung it out, the harder it would be. “I love you so much, have a good flight and I’ll see you really soon, okay?”

“I love you more than anything, Lou,” Harry said, feeling his own resolve start to crumble. “See you soon, yeah?” They kissed again and Harry reluctantly pulled himself away, waving as he slid into the passenger seat next to Niall, the window going down as Niall pressed a button inside the car. Louis moved Jacob to his hip and they waved as Niall turned the car around. “Bye boys, see you soon. Love you, bye!” Harry waved wildly as Niall drove off, Louis and Jacob eventually becoming specks in the distance.

They turned the corner, and soon his boys disappeared and Harry finally let himself cry. He sobbed into his hands, grateful Niall was ignoring his display of emotion. 

“Only two weeks,” he kept telling himself, over and over. “You can do this, just two weeks. Then you’ll be back home where you belong.”

 


	62. Miss You Like Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry starts off his writing holiday in Italy by making a friendly, new acquaintance. Back in the UK, Louis and Jacob begin settling into a new routine for the next two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit late, life gets in the way! But I have my other fics done now, so can dedicate time to this and LMBYS again so yay!

Harry stepped out of the car that had brought him from the airport to the villa where he would staying, and was shocked by the wave of heat that enveloped him. The Italian sun was beating down from an azure blue sky, and Harry hooked his Ray Ban sunglasses down from the top of his head and put them over his eyes, squinting into the distance. He went over to the driver who was removing his suitcase from the boot, and thanked him, taking his bag in hand and setting it onto the cobblestone driveway.

“ _Mille grazie_ ,” Harry said, practising the Italian phrases he’d been learning since he booked his trip. The other elderly gentlemen bowed slightly before he got back into his car and drove away, leaving Harry all alone. Harry walked up to the house, wheeling his case behind him and looked behind the large blue pot next to the door, collecting the small brown envelope he was told would be waiting for him.

He opened it and inside was a small brass key, alongside some helpful paperwork relating to the house such as the code for the Wifi, the times the pool cleaner would stop by and other mundane information. He slid the key into the large wooden front door and stepped inside, taking his glasses off again and allowed his eyes to take in the palatial entrance way in front of him. He grinned and quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket, snapping a photo and sending it to Louis and Jacob, letting his boys know he’d made it safely to Italy.

It had only been a few hours since he had last seen them when Niall had picked him up that morning, but Harry was already missing his family terribly. He lifted up his case and walked up the stairs to where he knew the bedroom he’d be sleeping in for the next two weeks or so was. He opened the door and stepped inside, pleased to see white linen on the bed, the windows open, fresh Italian air blowing in. Harry grinned and set his case down on the floor, opening it and hanging up the clothes he’d bought, preferring not to live out of a case while he was away. He was just putting his underwear into the top drawer in the chest when his phone started to ring, the screen lighting up with a Facetime call notification from Louis, and undoubtedly Jacob. 

Harry hurried to answer the call and waited for a few seconds while the call connected, the screen soon filling with the familiar and smiling faces of his husband and son.

“Hey!” Harry waved enthusiastically at the screen, sitting down on the bed and grinning at his boys, Jacob clearly sat on Louis’ lap judging by their position and how both boys’ faces were. “Oh god, I miss you both, are you okay?”

“Yeah, Dad, we’re good, how is Italy?” Jacob’s eyes flitted between Harry on the screen and the small picture of himself and Louis in the corner of the screen, making Harry smile. “Is it hot? It looks sunny.”

“It is, love, it’s beautiful here. Let me show you the view.” Harry got up and walked over to the window and flipped the camera as he panned across the view in front of him, showcasing the Italian lake and countryside. It looked utterly idyllic, and suddenly Harry wished he had brought his little family with him. “Lovely, right?”

“It’s gorgeous, love,” Louis spoke, Harry’s heart melting at the sound of his voice. “Have you settled in, or have we beaten you to it?” Harry laughed and smile fondly at his husband, touching the glass screen, only wishing he could make contact with Louis’ soft skin.

“Well, I’ve brought my bag upstairs,” Harry said before showing the suitcase on the floor, a few items hanging out of it since he was halfway through sorting it before he was interrupted. “But you two are more important than anything else I have to do right now. I promise, while I’m here, I will always answer my phone for you both, okay? Call me anytime you need me.”

“We will, Dad,” Jacob said, suddenly dashing away and returning with a new book in his hand. “Daddy and I went to Tesco to buy more food and he bought me a book, look!” Jacob looked so excited that Harry couldn’t help but grin at his enthusiasm. “Can I read you the back and tell you what it’s about so you can read it with me when you’re home?”

“Sure, love,” Harry said, returning to the bed and sitting down on it, propping a pillow up behind him as Jacob carefully read, Louis only helping him read words that were a little tricky for him. Jacob’s reading age was still a few years behind his actual age, but the little boy’s love of reading and books had grown thanks to Louis and Harry’s help, and their own love of sharing stories with their son. “Wow, that sounds brilliant, you made a good choice!”

“Jake, do you want to go and play with Percy for a bit while I have a quick chat to Dad?”

“Okay, don’t hang up without saying bye though Dad!” Jacob called as he ran off, Harry able to hear him calling Percy in the background before he faded out, leaving him and Louis alone. Harry sighed and sent Louis a soft smile, wishing he could be wrapped in Louis’ loving arms.

“This feels weird, like we’ve gone back a few years,” he mused, smiling down at the screen. “When we first got together and I had to go away… this feels like that, only harder. Now you’re not just my boyfriend and his kid, you’re my husband and my son.” He sighed, looking longingly at the phone. “I miss you, Louis. I’m not sure this was a good idea, it’s already hard and it’s only been, what 7 hours?”

Louis chuckled softly, his beautiful blue eyes staring through the screen at Harry. “I know it’s hard, love. I miss you too. But you need this. You need to write and I think once you settle in you’ll be okay. We’ve got the phone and texts and stuff, we’ll make the best of it. Oh- hello you,” Louis said as Jacob came back in, Percy hot on his heels. Harry laughed as Louis panned the camera down, focusing on where the dog was now curling up near his feet. “Percy keeps bringing Jake your shoes, think he’s wondering where you are.”

“Oh god, I even miss the bloody dog. Jesus,” Harry chuckled again, rubbing his face with his hands. “Right. I’d better unpack and you two do what you need to do but I’ll talk to you later, okay? Call me if you need anything?”

“We will,” Louis said, blowing a quick kiss to the camera. “Jake, say bye to dad, he has to go.”

“Already? Oh man. Bye dad. I love you so much, don’t forget us!”

Harry shook his head swiftly, keen to even dismiss the thought he could ever forget his boys. “No way - never. You two are my boys! Be good for Daddy, and I’ll talk to you really soon. I love you, both of you. Bye sweethearts.” Harry waved into the camera before Louis hung up. 

Harry busied himself, determined not to dwell too much on missing Louis and Jacob given they were only on day one of their break, and unpacked the rest of suitcase before wandering downstairs to see what was in the fridge. As before, there was a little list stuck on the fridge detailing all the local cafes and restaurants, as well as shops where Harry could buy the necessities for his stay. 

It was early evening, the sun was lowering in the sky and Harry slid his sandals onto his feet, shoving the key into the pocket of his shorts as he walked out of the house down the driveway, turning left when he reached the bottom. Harry took in the views as he slowly strolled along, smiling at a few couples who walked by, and he rubbed at his wedding ring, reminding himself he had someone at home missing him as much as he missed them. 

He saw a small shop and headed inside, greeting the young woman behind the counter with a smile. He picked up a basket and slowly meandered through the small store, eyes taking in the small selection of goods. Harry selected a few pizzas, fruit, pasta and meatballs he could use later in the week and finally, a delicious smelling loaf of bread. He walked back and put the basket on the counter, watching as the woman priced up the total, pointing at the screen. 

Harry opened his wallet and pulled out some Euro notes, mumbling “Grazie” under his breath, making the woman smile. He accepted his change and let it slide into his pocket as he took the two carrier bags in hand, walking back in the direction of his small home. It didn’t take long for him to arrive, but Harry was sweating as he approached the front door, putting the bags on the floor so he could unlock it. 

He put all the food away and stuck a pizza into the oven, too tired to contemplate trying to cook anything from scratch that night, knowing Louis would approve of his quick and easy meal choice. He ate on the patio area of his villa, watching the sunset in the distance over the lake, and enjoyed the presence of the silence. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he’d been around such prolonged silence, and he relished it for a few moments. His phone beeped from his pocket and he pulled it out, smiling when he saw it was a message from his husband.

Harry replied and walked back inside, putting the plate into the sink to wash in the morning, and headed back upstairs. He grabbed the leather journal he’d put into his bedside drawer earlier on and sat on top of the bedcovers, the journal on his lap. He flicked on the bedside light, his bedroom windows still open, a fresh breeze blowing in. Harry sat quietly for a moment and thought about what he wanted to write, jotting down a few ideas before his eyelids started to droop, tiredness from his busy day finally overtaking him. 

Harry managed to get out a text message to Louis wishing him a goodnight and telling him he missed him before he pulled off his clothes, sliding between the sheets, the soft cotton laying perfectly on his naked body. It felt odd to sleep without Louis’ body by his side, touching him in some way but sleep did come, and a relaxed and chilled out Harry fell asleep, an ocean away from his boys.

*****

“Jacob, are you ready?” Louis called out, Jacob running from where he had sat at a desk across the classroom after school while Louis had finished marking some books. He smiled as he watched Jacob put his coat on, the rain lashing down outside, and he took out his phone. “Hey, look at this photo Dad sent us earlier, doesn’t it look beautiful?”

“Wow! It looks like heaven, not Italy!” 

Louis laughed loudly at his son’s innocent comment and picked up both of their bags from the floor. He frowned as he looked out at the awful weather and decided they just had to make a dash for it. Luckily, they had been early to work this morning despite the fact Louis only remembered last minute he had to make them both packed lunches, so used to Harry being around to do just that every day for them both. 

“I hate when it rains, it means we can’t walk Percy and it means all our stuff gets soggy.” Louis nodded in understanding as he opened the door and pulled Jacob’s hood up over his head as they ran across the car park, both shrieking as the cold rain lashed down on them. Louis quickly made sure Jacob was inside before he ran around and got in himself, turning on the heaters to warm them up a little. He suddenly felt very jealous of Harry’s sunny climate, and text his husband a picture out of the windscreen, showing him exactly what he was missing out on. Harry quickly replied with his view and Louis rolled his eyes, setting off towards their venue for the evening.

They arrived a short while later, traffic in their town not too bad just yet. They had stopped to pick up Percy, not wanting the puppy to be home alone all day, and by now, Louis was damp all over and more than a bit fed up. Jacob got rather excited when he realised they were back at Uncle Zayn’s for dinner, and he dashed out of the car, leaving Louis to scoop up an ever-growing Percy into his arms and follow him up the path, Zayn welcoming them all inside, the smells of dinner wafting through from the kitchen.

“Just pop him down, Lou, nothing he can do any harm on,” Zayn said, crouching down to greet a very enthusiastic Percy, who was eagerly licking Zayn’s hands and trying to get to his face, Jacob giggling away next to him. “You wanna go upstairs and grab a change of clothes? You know where everything is.”

Louis leaned in and hugged Zayn quickly, darting up the stairs, keen to get out of his work things, not bothered at all by wearing Zayn’s clothes. He usually lived in Harry’s, so wearing other people’s clothes wasn’t anything new. He stripped off, hanging his things over the banister as he pulled on one of Zayn’s graphic tees and a hoodie, and some black joggers. He immediately felt cosy and just as he reached the bottom of the stairs,  the doorbell rang and he walked to answer it.

“Hey mate,” he said, watching as Liam shook out his umbrella and stepped into the hall, kicking off his trainers and removing his coat before he grinned back at Louis. “Glad you could come, we’ve missed- oh shit, grab the dog!” Percy flew around the corner and made a run for the doorway but luckily Liam had good reflexes, pulling at his collar before he could dash out into the rain. “Good catch, thanks Li.”

“No worries, Lou, he just wanted to explore, didn't you Pers?” He ruffled Percy’s head before he made sure the door was shut, letting him go, his little claws scratching at the floor as he headed off to find Zayn and Jacob again. “Where’s the kiddo? Did you forget him?”

Louis chuckled and shook his head, leading Liam into the sitting room and flopping down on the sofa. “Nah, he’s finishing up dinner with Z I think. You want a drink or anything?” Liam shook his head and relaxed on one of Zayn’s comfy sofas. “Shame Nialler couldn’t make it tonight.”

“Such is the life of an important manager, huh,” Liam said with a shrug. “We’ll all go out when Haz is home. Is he enjoying Italy? He sent me a couple of texts and said it was nice.”

“Yeah, did you see any of the pictures?” Liam shook his head so Louis got up, plopping himself in Liam’s lap as he opened his message thread to Harry, scrolling through and showing off all of the beautiful photos Harry had sent, Liam admiring each one with wide eyes. Suddenly, a  photo appeared and Louis fumbled with the phone, cheeks flaming red as Liam smirked, holding Louis in place around his waist as he removed the photo, showing a more acceptable one. “Um, oops?”

“Keeping each other interested are we?” Liam said through a smirk, shaking his head slightly. “Jeez, do you really need to send each other pictures of you in the shower? Surely you know what that looks like after all this time together?”

“Doesn’t hurt to get a reminder every now and then.” Louis had a defensive look on his face now and he turned his phone off, smiling as Jacob appeared in the doorway, a little apron around his waist.

“Dinner time! Me and Uncle Zaynie have finished so now you and Lili can come and eat.” Louis snorted at the use of Jacob’s pet name for the man. They walked in to the kitchen, taking a seat at Zayn’s small kitchen table, waiting for their food to be placed in front of them. Jacob and Zayn brought over plates full of spaghetti bolognese before Jacob came back with a tray full of garlic bread for the three of them. “Do you think it looks yummy?”

“It looks great, Jake,” Liam said, picking up his fork and tucking in. There was silence for a short while as everyone ate, Jacob sat next to Zayn, munching on a piece of garlic bread while the bolognese sauce cooled.

“Oh! We’re eating pasghetti like Dad! Send him a picture, please!” Louis laughed and nodded, unable to bring himself to correct his son like Harry often did, and encouraged Zayn and Jacob to squeeze together for the photo, making sure their meal was seen in shot in front of them. He tapped out a quick message, sending the message across Europe to his husband, who quickly replied.

“Dad says he thinks it looks yummy, and he wants you and Uncle Zayn to cook it for him when he gets home.” Jacob nodded, slurping up a piece of spaghetti, the sauce forming a nice red ring around his mouth. They all finished their meals, using the garlic bread to mop up the last of their sauce, and they all listened as Jacob told them about school, Percy and anything else he could think of. 

“Me and Li will wash up, you two go and sit down. Maybe you could read Uncle Zayn some of your reading book?” Jacob nodded and grabbed Zayn’s hand, marching him off to the sitting room while Liam and Louis made quick work of the washing up since Zayn had done most of it as he went along. They headed back into the living room afterwards, Louis cuddling up to Liam, missing his husband’s cuddles.

He hadn’t slept properly since Harry had gone away, and despite the fact they spoke every night before they fell asleep, sometimes to the point of Harry dozing off before he hung up, and Louis loved listening to the soft breaths that came down the line, so familiar and yet so far away at the same time. They listened quietly as Jacob finished off his chapter, all praising his reading. Louis looked over as Percy snuffled where he was laid on the carpet, curled into a ball and sound asleep.

Jacob grabbed one of the blankets from Zayn’s sofa and pulled it down over his legs as they watched some television, but before Louis knew it, Jacob had dozed off, cuddled into Zayn’s side, looking happy and content. “Shit, Z, he’s fallen asleep. I wanted to get him home before that happened.”

“It’s Friday, Lou. Let him sleep here. Actually, why don’t you stay too? You can share the spare room with Jake, I don’t mind. Percy looks happy enough, and I can run out in the morning and grab him so more food.”

“You sure you don’t mind, mate?” Zayn shook his head and Louis sent him a grateful smile. They decided to stay where they were, Jacob more than used to listening to Harry and Louis chatter while he slept, and he rarely woke up from the sound of talking. 

“I had something to ask you, Lou. Do you have any plans next weekend?”

Louis thought for a moment, shaking his head when he realised his calendar was empty. “Don’t think so, Mum’s coming with Ernie and Doris Friday night for a film with the kiddos, but other than that, we’re free as a bird, why?”

“Well, I wondered if you and Jake would like to come with me to the Zoo? I got some tickets from Mum, she said she won’t use them, thought it might be nice, a distraction for Jake as I know he’s missing Haz.”

Louis felt oddly touched at Zayn’s suggestion, and smiled softly at his best friend, suddenly grateful all over again for the presence of such wonderful men in his life. “I… I’d love that mate, so would Jake. That’s really thoughtful, so thank you so much.” Zayn just shrugged it off, getting to his feet and heading to the kitchen to make them all cups of tea. When he returned, Louis was snuggled even closer to Liam, cuddled into Liam’s tight embrace and Zayn smirked to himself, pulling out his phone and taking a quick photo.

“Oh, I’m gonna wind your hubby right up about this,” Zayn teased, writing out a tweet and laughing when he sent it. Louis quickly escaped Liam’s hold and picked up his own phone, going to Zayn’s timeline, his jaw dropping in horror when he saw what his friend had done.

“You are such a twat, Z,” Louis chastised, deciding it might actually be quite fun to see what Harry had to say before he said anything about it himself. It didn't take long for Louis to get a notification that Harry had replied to the tweet, and all three men sat around laughing for a while as they bantered on Twitter, poor Liam being dragged in unwillingly by his two friends until he had to leave.

An hour or so later, Louis was curled up in the spare room, whispering into the phone as he and Harry shared their usual goodnight phonecall.

“ _ I know it’s just Li, love, but I just… it made me miss you more, you know? I want to be the one holding you and cuddling you, and I’m so far away… _ ”

“Babe, we’re like four days in to this whole thing already, it’s going by quickly. You’ll be home before you know it and knee deep in laundry and lunchboxes and school runs. Enjoy your freedom while you can.”

“ _ You say that, Lou, but that’s my life, and I love it. I chose to do that, to be a father and a husband, and I love every bit of it, even the unglamorous parts. I miss you, sweetheart. _ ”

“I miss you too, Haz-” Louis cut himself off with a big yawn then, hoping his noise didn't wake Jacob, which luckily it didn't. “I’d better go sweetheart, I really don’t want to wake Jake up, and Percy just went quiet downstairs, so hopefully we can all sleep through. Poor Z doesn’t wanna be woken up at the crack of dawn by a kid and a puppy.”

“ _ He doesn’t know what he’s missing _ ,” Harry said, and Louis could tell from his tone that he was saying it with a smile on his face. “ _ I love you, both of you, so much. Say hi to Zayn for me in the morning, please, and thank him for looking after my boys so well _ .”

“Will do, I love you too, Harry. Facetime tomorrow sometime?” They ended their call, Harry sniffing before he finally hung up and Louis sighed, burying his face into the pillow, missing the scent of Harry’s he’d been cuddled up to since his husband had gone away. He fell asleep, his son across the room, his husband across the ocean but with both of them filling his dreams, neither ever too far away from his thoughts.

*****

Harry stretched out on the bed, entirely naked and let out a big exhale, his limbs relaxing. Despite the fact he was on holiday and could sleep in as much as he liked, his body was programmed to wake up early to get Louis and Jacob ready for school and work, and it was a tough habit to break. He picked up his phone, grinning down at the photo Jacob had sent this morning from Louis’ phone, in his uniform in the back of the car, a big smile on his little face.

Harry snapped one of himself, making sure he was decent enough and wrote out a quick message for his son, his heart aching with how much he missed him. Harry wandered through to the shower, setting the warm to a lukewarm temperature as the Italian sun was already beating down and warming the air around him despite the fact Harry had slept with the windows open that night.

Afterwards, he pulled on a cream linen shirt and some dark navy cargo shorts that Louis had bought him just for the trip, sliding his feet into his converse before he headed outside. He had spotted a small cafe when he went for a walk the other day, happening upon the perfect place to write, and had written there every single day, lyrics flowing through him as he sat and stared out at the view, the peace and quiet helping no end. 

The walk down to the cafe was a little precarious, down a few little gravel paths that had Harry slipping and sliding along the way but soon, he arrived on more even ground, pleased to see it was still fairly quiet out. He had been recognised by a couple of young Italian girls, but they’d taken their photos, promising not to share his location, and wishing him a good break. Other than that, many of the older Italians didn't pay him any attention, and just treated him as they would any other Brit on holiday.

Harry saw the tables of the cafe were nearly full and he put himself onto a small table, pleased that he could sit alone and bask in the sun for a while. A young waiter came over, and Harry attempted some of his new Italian phrases on him, the boy praising Harry for his efforts before he bought over his breakfast, a cup of strong coffee, some fruit and a croissant.

Harry tucked in early, already hungry and picked apart his croissant, enjoying how the sweet pastry practically melted on his tongue. He continued to munch on his fruit as he jotted ideas down in his journal; words, sentences, anything that came to mind he didn't want to forget. The low hum of chatter around him inspired him, and he loved how anonymous he felt in that moment, part of something bigger than he was, and he felt settled somehow.

Harry startled from his thoughts when an older woman placed a hand on his shoulder, a questioning look appearing on her face as she gestured towards the free seat opposite Harry, her other hand supporting her back.

“ _Scusami?_ _Posso sedermi_?” Harry didn't understand but he assumed she was asking if she could take a seat, and a quick glance around told him the café was full. He nodded with a smile, and she hobbled over, lowering herself down painfully before ordering something in speedy Italian Harry couldn’t hope to follow.

“ _Inglese_?” she asked, and Harry smiled, understanding that word.

“ _Si_ ,” he replied, happy to see a smile erupt on her face as she pulled her scarf around her neck slightly, making herself comfortable. 

“Livia,” she said, pointing to her chest before she extended her hand across the table, ready to shake Harry’s.

“Harry. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands and fell silent as the waiter came over, setting down a small coffee in front of her, along with some toast and jam that Harry thought looked rather delicious despite his own full tummy.

“Love bread.” She spoke in heavily accented English as she spread the glistening jam over the lightly toasted bread, crunching down eagerly as Harry watched on with amused eyes, somehow unable to drag his gaze away from her. There was something about Livia that made Harry want to watch her all the time. “You alone? Wife?”

Harry smiled and shook his head but lifted up his ring finger, proudly displaying his wedding band. “Alone in Italy, yes, but I’m married.”

“Lucky lady,” she said with raised eyebrows, and Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled out his phone, wanting to set her right. He only hoped she would be accepting of his sexuality… some people of her generation weren’t always as open-minded as younger ones. He selected a photo of him and Louis laughing together.

“My husband,” he beamed, handing over the phone, Livia taking it gently. Her expression was neutral as she looked down at the image before her eyes met Harry’s, and Harry felt oddly like she was seeing deep into his soul.

“You love him?”

“Very much,” Harry nodded, taking the phone back and opening it on a photo of Louis and Jacob. “Our son, Jacob. He’s nearly eight years old now.”

“ _ Bellissima famiglia _ ,” she replied again, returning the phone to Harry. “You marry how long?”

“Nearly a year. Best 10 months of my life. He’s… he’s wonderful.”

“Tell me about him. Your face light up when you talk of him… _è tuo per sempre_? Erm, how you say… your forever?”

“He really is. Um, his name is Louis, he’s twenty nine. We met just around two years ago, and, well, he makes me so happy, happier than I ever knew I could be. Our son Jacob is amazing too, he’s Louis’ boy but now he’s just as much mine.” Harry’s heart felt like it could explode as he spoke of his family, now bringing up more and more pictures to show Livia, who luckily seemed more than interested, listening to Harry gabble on.

“This was our wedding day. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married, it was a surprise. The best day of my life, I think. Oh, and this is Jacob with our puppy Percy, he was Jacob’s Christmas present.” Harry used his finger on the screen to swipe through the photos, but Livia grabbed his wrist, stopping Harry on a photo of himself and Louis with the Grammy, one of the nice pap shots that had been taken that amazing night.

“This? Why you win?”

Harry blushed, part of him not wanting to reveal to Livia who he was and spoil the bubble that they were in. “Um, we wrote a song, and it won an award. We went to America to collect it.”

“ _ Così innamorato _ ,” Livia muttered under her breath, continuing to flick through the album on Harry’s phone, and he was glad he’d showed her the one that Jacob liked to show off to people, all of the photos perfectly acceptable to be viewed by anyone. “Why they not here?”

“I write songs, and I was finding it a hard for a while.  Louis suggested I come here, try to write without anything around. It’s working, I’ve written a few songs now, I’m pleased with them.”

“ _ Come si chiamano _ ? Um,  _ scusa _ … what are they?”

“My songs? You mean what are they called?” Livia nodded and Harry bit his lip, wondering if he could divulge anything to the woman before he realised he probably could, cracking open his journal to look at the first few pages where the first lyrics were scribbled. “Well, my first one is at the moment called How Many Nights, but it might change.”

“For your  _ marito? _ Husband?”

“ _Sì_ ,” Harry replied, smiling at thought of Louis hearing what he’d written and seeing his reaction. “And, um, there’s a bit of a sadder one too, can you read English?” Livia nodded and Harry slid the book over to her, watching as the older woman fumbled in her bag before producing a large pair of reading glasses, perching them on the end of her nose before pulling the book closer and looking deeply at it. 

He saw tears spring in her eyes as she took in the words, and slowly, she placed the book down on the table, reaching to take Harry’s hand in her own much more worn one. He let her hold it, and stayed silent as he waited for her to gather herself. 

“ _ Bellissimo _ . But… he has hurt you? Or you him? The song… it feel sad. You lost him?”

Harry swallowed down the lump in his throat, shaking his head. He sipped on his now cool coffee, wincing as the bitter liquid made its way down his throat, not nearly as nice as when it was piping hot. “We… had a few rough patches. I had an accident, I was hurt, and Louis found that difficult. But through everything, we had each other, and we loved each other. We never stopped. No matter how hard Louis tried to push me away, I wouldn’t go. I…” He flushed, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed at his romantic declarations to a stranger. “I don’t ever want to lose him. He’s my world, him and our son.”

“ _ Il vero amore è per sempre _ . Your love… you and your Louis… it is forever.” She grabbed his phone, pointing at the wallpaper, at how Louis was staring at Harry in the photo. “He look at you like you his  _ mondo _ . My Vittoro… we love like that. My heart only for him, for so long.” Harry went to speak but she smiled sadly at him, hurt now visible in her eyes. “He gone. My heart hurt for him. You look after your Louis, your  _ cuore _ . Will you eat tomorrow?”

“Here?” Harry asked, pointing to the table, and she nodded. “Yes, and I’d love for you to join me. My treat…” She grinned and unsteadily got to her feet, Harry hurrying to get up and support her. The old woman grabbed his arm for a moment, trying to get her purse out of her bag to get money for her coffee and toast, but Harry waved her away. “Let me,  _ per favore _ ?”

_ “Grazie,” _ she mumbled, picking up her scarf and standing up as tall as she could, which was still diminutive next to Harry. “Fino a domani.” She leaned in and kissed Harry’s cheek before she walked away, slowly as if the very motion pained her. Harry sat back down and called for the bill, pointing to both his and Livia’s seats, the young man understanding he wanted to pay for both. He left a few Euro notes on the table and wandered off, the sun warming his skin as he headed for the area he’d found the other day, soon settling on the grass there. His sunglasses protected his eyes but they didn't spoil the beauty of the scene in front of him.

Suddenly inspired, Harry slid his pen from the middle of his journal and began to write in his messy scrawl, words tumbling from the pen as if they had been embedded inside and had been wanting to escape for too long. Harry smiled to himself as he wrote as quickly as he could, words of love falling freely, and he hoped Louis would love them too.

*****

Later that night, Harry was just in his boxers, lounging back on the sofa in the living area, idly watching some Italian soap opera on the TV, the characters speaking ridiculously quickly, and gesturing wildly with their arms. Harry was browsing Twitter, reading some of the comments on the tweets he’d posted since he’d arrived in Italy, some questioning why he wasn’t with Louis, wondering if their marriage was in trouble. Harry just rolled his eyes and smiled when his phone began to ring. 

It was late, so he knew it was just Louis, and he answered the call with the biggest of smiles on his face. Louis had been busy at work all day and they hadn’t had a lot of contact, so he was desperate to hear his husband’s voice by now. “Hello, gorgeous!” 

“Hey, babe,” came Louis’ tired but happy sounding voice through the phone, and Harry’s heart ached with how much he missed Louis in that moment. “How are you, my love?”

“I’m good, Lou. How was work? Jake okay? I assume he’s in bed….” Harry turned over, making himself more comfortable as he listened intently to every word Louis spoke back to him.

“Work was good, busy but the kids are good, which makes everything easier. And yeah, Jacob’s asleep. Picked him up from your Mum’s earlier and he was so tired, we just had a story and he fell asleep. Percy was knackered too, don’t know what’s up with these two at the moment.”

“Aww, they’re missing their daddy,” Harry replied, wishing he could go and tuck Jacob in and kiss his cheek goodnight. “I’m missing them too, if it helps. Hey, guess what?”

“What, love?”

“I made a friend today.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis sounded like his interest had been piqued, and Harry could almost sense the eyebrow raise down the line, and he had to reveal everything before he upset the balance of things, not wanting him to be upset or worried.

“Yep. She’s probably about seventy, grey hair, gives good cheek kisses.” Louis chuckled down the line, and Harry smiled at the sound. “Nah, seriously. Her name is Livia, I met her at breakfast. She sat with me, and was asking about you guys. I couldn’t stop talking about you, showing her pictures and stuff. I mean, she didn't know who I was which was great, and I just felt like a normal guy talking about his hubby and kid, you know?”

“That’s so sweet, babe. I’m glad you’ve had the chance to talk someone. I did worry you were gonna be lonely out there on your own.”

“Well, I am a little,” Harry admitted, getting more comfortable on his back now, stroking his fingertips across his tummy. “But I love speaking to you both every day, that’s my little shining light, I have to say.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Louis mumbled back. “Haz… I miss you. Like… a lot.”

“I miss you too, babe. I, um, had a shower before this call, and… yeah.” He felt his cheeks flush as he nearly admitted to what he’d done, but he was human, and he was sure Louis wouldn’t mind hearing about such things. “I got out and looked at those pics we took before I left…”

“You liked them?” Louis replied quietly, his voice suddenly lower than it was before. “It was a lot of fun, taking them…”

“Yeah, it was.” Harry’s body was starting to respond to the mental images of the night he and Louis had spent taking some very naughty pictures of each other, locked away on their phones, for their eyes only. They had intended them to be for the time they were separated by Harry’s trip, but Harry had a feeling he’d be making use of them for a long time to come. “Louis…”

“Haz… god. Are you hard, babe?” Louis’ breath was coming in shallow pants now, and Harry could tell he was getting worked up already, making Harry smirk to himself at how easily he could get Louis riled up, even miles away from each other.

“Yeah, yeah I am, Lou. Are you?” Harry started palming himself over his boxers, aware of the feel of his cock filling up between his legs, shuddering at the sensation, missing Louis’ gentle touch. “Fuck… Louis…”

“Mmm, yeah. You always get me hard, babe. Are you...uh, are touching yourself?”

“Are you?” Harry stilled his movements for a second but Louis moaned, low but to Harry, it was an unmistakable sound. His cock twitched again, and he muttered to himself, pushing his boxers down and off his legs, kicking it off until he was laid out bare, one hand wrapped around himself, stroking slowly.

“I am now,” Louis admitted, and if Harry listened carefully, he could hear the hitch in Louis’ breath as he worked his hand over himself. “Fuck, I’ve wanked loads since you’ve gone. Miss being inside you, missing touching you and kissing you…”

“Shit, Louis… don’t. If you… shit, I’m gonna come too soon if you carry that on.” Harry hummed to himself as he ran his thumb up and over the slit, twisting his wrist when he got to the top of his cock. He fumbled with the phone, putting it on speaker and laying it on his chest, still able to easily hear Louis from where it was placed. “Fuck, is your cock in your hand, love?”

“Yeah, god, so hard for you, Haz. If you were here, we’d fuck so hard, would just fucking… shit-” Louis groaned and Harry squeezed the base of his cock, staving off his orgasm for a few moments, letting his eyes flutter shut as he slid his other hand down his body, cupping his balls gently, moving them softly in his hand. “Where are you?”

“On the sofa. You in our bed?” Louis hummed in agreement, and Harry allowed the image of Louis naked on their bed into his mind again, precome bubbling from his tip, Harry catching it with the tip of his finger. Harry pictured Louis making a circle with his fist, his cock sliding up and down into it, the arch of his back, the way his tanned stomach rose and fell with each of his deep breaths as he worked himself up. “Louis, I-”

“Fingers, Haz… use your fingers. Please… wanna do it together, okay?” Harry moaned and nodded, even though he knew Louis couldn’t see him. He adjusted his position so he could reach down, and traced a dry finger around his rim, regretting not having any lube around. He stumbled up onto his feet and ran up the stairs, his cock hanging heavily between his legs as he walked into his bedroom, grabbing the lube from where he’d left it earlier, using it to wank to the photos. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry, moved upstairs, needed the lube.” He fiddled with the cap and drizzled a little of his fingers, moaning when he brought them down again, rubbing gently around his rim, teasing himself. “Fuck, are you…”

“Two fingers,” Louis said through a gasp. “On my knees, wish you were here, behind me…”

“Oh my god, Louis,” Harry mumbled, slowly pushing one finger inside himself. His body almost protested again at the intrusion. He hadn’t sex with Louis for a few days now, and to them both, that was enough for their bodies to forget the sensation. Still, Harry persevered and pushed it in deeply, groaning as he reached his knuckle. “Baby, wish I could taste you right now, bet you look so good all bent over for me to take-”

“Louis, I… oh, not as good as your fingers, but feels good. Miss being full, you stretching me out… fuck-” He was panting now, his breaths coming in short gasps, and if Harry closed his eyes, he could imagine Louis in front of him, laid bare, entirely exposed. The thought made him start to stroke his own cock faster, pushing a second finger inside. Harry was well aware he was whining now, but he didn't care, just needing to come.

“Harry, come home- need you-” Harry could hear Louis rutting against the bed, the quiet creak of the springs as his body worked up and down, and Harry could only imagine Louis’ tanned backside bouncing perfectly, his fingers buried inside himself, as if he were preparing himself for Harry’s cock. Harry’s body was sweating now, and he pushed his fingers in and out of himself at a quicker pace, body jerking with each press inside. “Wanna fuck you, want you to fuck me, make me feel it, make me come so hard-”

“Louis, my Louis… gonna show you when I’m home, just how much I- oh-” Harry could sense his orgasm was coming but somehow, he wanted to hear Louis come first, to make his husband come and feel good, just from Harry’s voice and his own fingers. “Gonna wear your favourite knickers, wanna play, Lou… want you to use me, like we did before, let you do what you want with me… will you, Lou, will you use me, ruin me?” Harry was wanking quickly now, his hand gliding quickly up his cock as that image filled his mind.

“Yeah, wanna see you in the black thong, wanna fuck you in it, on your hands and knees, make you cry out my name over and over…” Louis was breathing hard again, and Harry could sense he was close. He knew Louis’ body as well as knew his own by now, perhaps better, and he decided to go for it, to push Louis over the edge.

“Yeah, want that, want you to fuck me, show me I’m yours. Wish everyone could see how good you make me feel, how you mark me up, put marks all over my body. Wanna suck you off, have you come down my throat before you fuck me, want everything with you, Lou… can never get enough of you and your body… I love you, love being with you, love making love to you, love fucking you… gonna show you how much-”

“Mine, you’re mine, I’m yours, right?” Louis panted, and Harry muttered a reply, causing Louis to cry out, gasping into the phone, the sound piercing the silence of Harry’s room. “Fuck, Harry… shit-”

“Yeah, baby, come for me… you feel good?”

“Fuck yes,” Louis mumbled back, and Harry could sense he was stopping his hand, come probably splattered all over his torso now. It was that image that Harry pictured now as Louis talked him through to his orgasm. “Harry… want you to come for me, imagine you’re coming on me, on my ass, marking me up…”

“Shit, yeah, love you, always love you, just you,” Harry mumbled, repeating Louis’ name as he stroked harder, whimpering when he hit his prostate with his fingers. “Louis, oh my god, Lou!” Harry started to come hard, warm come covering his hand and his stomach, almost touching the large butterfly tattoo on his stomach. Harry slowed his fingers, gently letting them slip out of himself before he released his cock, body still shuddering with the aftershocks.

“Well, I didn't expect that tonight,” Louis confessed with a light laugh, breathing heavily down the phone. “Haven’t done phone sex in too long, that was fucking hot.”

“It was,” Harry agreed, reaching for a tissue from the bedside table and mopping up the come on his body before it could cool and get too sticky. “I meant it though, Lou. What I said… what I want. Can we, when I get home?”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis replied, tiredness apparent in his voice now. “I would love that, I really would. I can’t believe we’ve still got over a week before you come home. Did you, um, did you get any writing done?”

“I did, yeah. A few bits and pieces. Heading out somewhere new tomorrow so I’ll see if I get any inspiration. I’m sure after that I can write something though.” Louis laughed and Harry smiled, wishing he could see Louis’ beautiful smile, and the way his eyes lit up as he laughed like that. “Baby, I’m gonna let you sleep. You sound so tired, and I know what you’re like after you come, you just doze off.”

“I’m sorry, love. It’s just hectic here on my own, with work and Percy and Jake. I can’t wait to see you again, babe. I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, Louis. You have no idea how much. I miss you, but… it means so much to me you’re supporting me in this. You’re the best, Lou, and I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Me too,” Louis said, yawning loudly, and Harry could imagine how his body was stretching with it. “Night night, babe.”

“Night, Lou. Tell Jake I’ll call him tomorrow after school, please?”

“Will do,” Louis muttered back, and Harry could tell he was about to fall into sleep. “Night babe.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” Harry hung up and quickly flicked on his light, snapping a photo of his sleepy face, a small smile on his lips before he messaged it to Louis, wishing him goodnight with lots of kisses and heart emojis. He suddenly yearned for Louis’ smell, and dragged him up and out of bed to his drawers, fishing out one of Louis t-shirts and pulling it over his body, loving how tight it felt around his big frame. He sniffed at the collar, smiling slightly as it was so familiar. It was with Louis on his mind that Harry fell asleep, already wishing away the days until he went home, back where he belonged.


	63. A Thousand Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry struggle with their separation. Louis comes to some realisations about their relationship, and Harry writes, deepens his friendship with Livia, finding solace in the woman and their discussions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing this. I hope you like it. Thank you for still being here and reading this. It means so much to me. x

 

Harry had been in Italy for a week now. The songwriting had been going well, and Harry was pleased that the holiday was a success so far. He’d made sure to speak to his little family every single day, even though Jacob often got quickly bored with the Facetime calls and ran off with Percy or to play on his games on Louis’ X Box. Louis and Harry, though, made the most of the time they had together, and enjoyed their nightly talks, especially when they were tucked up in their own beds, missing each other desperately.

Harry had also continued meeting Livia every morning for breakfast, and he was currently on his way there now. The early Italian sun was hitting his shoulders and warming his body, and he paused, looking out over the lake he was walking around. There were hardly any people surrounding him, and he stood still, letting the atmosphere sink in. as much as he missed his boys, it was lovely to spend some time in such a beautiful country, and he felt lucky he was able to do this.

Harry took a few photos before he headed off the café, spotting Livia shuffling along the road just ahead of him. Harry jogged quickly and stopped at her side, the old woman smiling softly when she saw it was Harry and he held out his arm, allowing her to thread hers through as they headed slowly now to the café.

“ _Buongiorno,_ ” she rasped, her voice much croakier than normal and Harry looked at her in concern. She waved off his worries and clutched his arm tighter for a moment. “I am fine, old lungs.” They laughed quietly and Harry led her over to their usual table, pulling out her chair and making sure she was sat down before he took his own seat, greeting the waiter. Livia ordered for the pair of them in speedy Italian, certain about Harry’s tastes now, and he grinned to himself at the exchange, proud he caught more of the words than he usually would.

“I wrote more last night,” Harry began, proud of his work last night. He hadn’t been able to sleep so he’d taken his duvet out onto the balcony and wrote in his journal, the words flowing from his pen as he scribbled away, mind full of his husband as always. “I think it’s pretty special, actually. I know the songs are all for Louis, but this one… it’s just for him, you know? The words are from my heart, and if I get the melody right, it’s going to good. I just feel it’s something special.”

“I hear?” Livia asked, and Harry shook his head, suddenly feeling shy. “You sing, I want to hear. My son, Giorgio, he play me your song.   _È bellissimo_ , Harry.”

“Well, when it’s done, I promise I will send you a copy of the songs, all of them. I’d love to bring Louis back here too, show him where I wrote the music for him… I’d love you to meet him too.”

“I love that, your Louis,” Livia said, accepting the coffee the waiter sat in front of her with a grateful smile. “And your Jacob. May I ask _domanda_?” Harry frowned, not knowing the unfamiliar word, and Livia paused, clearly searching her mind for the English word. “Uh… ah! Question!”

“You can ask me anything,” Harry replied words laced with honesty. He picked up the croissant from the plate in front of him and tore off some pieces, shoving them eagerly into his mouth, the pastry still warm between his fingers. “I’ll be as honest as I can.”

“You and Louis have children? More?” Harry swallowed, a little surprised that Livia would ask something like that, but he swallowed his food, wanting to give her an answer. “Sorry, too much-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Harry reassured her, patting her hand across the table. “I would love to have more children with Louis. I mean… if things weren’t to happen that way for us, we have Jacob, and he will always be enough. I love him so much, as if he’s my own. Um…” Harry’s heart swelled at the thought of what he was about to say, and he realised they hadn’t heard anything about it in a while. “I’m adopting Jacob, actually. Louis and Jake gave me the papers for Christmas… he’s going to be my son, officially, and I can’t wait.”

“Wonderful. Lucky, to find such love,” Livia said, blowing over the top of her strong coffee. “But you have a child too? With your Louis?” Harry went quiet for a minute, pondering her words, knowing he wanted that more than anything. Somehow, talking to Livia was easy. She didn't judge, she listened and he was happy to confess his deepest secrets to her.

“I want to. More than anything. We talked about it, a long time ago. Before we had some… troubles. But yes, I want to have babies with Louis, and make our family bigger. We said it could be my baby, that we would have a surrogate… someone to carry our baby for us. I think Jacob would be an amazing big brother, and I can’t wait to see Louis with a baby… he’s an amazing father to Jake, so I know he would be to our baby too.” He smiled fondly, thoughts of Louis holding his son or daughter in his arms filling his mind.

“Then why your eyes sad?” Livia had this uncanny way of reading Harry like a book, and he felt nervous about answering her, although he knew Louis had no way of knowing this discussion had even taken place. He decided to be honest again, knowing talking about it would be a weight off his shoulders.

“I don’t know if that’s what Louis wants anymore. Since we had some issues in our marriage, it feels like things are… delicate, between us. I don’t want him to feel like he owes me anything, whether it’s a baby or anything. I’m scared to bring it up, I don’t want him to feel pressured, like he has to have a baby with me or I’ll go because that’s not true. I’d take Louis and Jacob anyway, they’re enough, they’ve always been enough.”

“But what you want… it matters too,” Livia said quietly, reaching for Harry’s hand again. She stroked her gnarled fingers back and forth over the back of his hand, Harry liking having a human connection with someone again after over a week of not being hugged or touched by anyone.

“I know. But to me, Louis matters more. He will always come first, no matter what.” Harry’s phone buzzed as if on cue, and he smiled as Louis’ name lit up the screen. He picked up the phone and replied to Louis, promising they’d call each other later on, telling him he was at breakfast with Livia. “Sorry, he’s just checking in again. We’re not used to being apart. It’s hard, when you just want to be with the one you love.”

“I know. I miss Vittoro, every day. He the love of my life… my _luce del sole_.”

“Your sunshine?” Harry questioned, wondering if he’d translated it correctly, and smiled when Livia nodded. “How long were you married, before he passed?”

“Fifty three years. We were in love when we were young. There was never another man for me. He was mine, and I was his. I feel you know this too, how it feel to only love one man forever?”

“I do,” Harry replied, twirling his wedding ring around on his finger. “He’s the only one I want to be with, that much I know. He makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.” Harry felt a lump rise in his throat as he spoke of Louis, so he cleared his throat and changed the subject, not comfortable enough to cry in front of a stranger just yet. “Do you have plans today?”

“ _Si_ , I go to the market in town. Have you been?” Harry shook his head, some of his curls falling forwards onto his forehead. “You come with me. You find gift for Louis, and for your boy.”

“I’d love to.” Harry signalled for the bill and quickly paid despite Livia trying to put down some Euro’s for her meal. Harry was insistent and pushed her money away, the older woman tutting as she tucked it back into her leather bag, hooking it back into the crook of her elbow.

*****

A few hours later, Harry was sweating in his cotton t-shirt as he carried around Livia’s purchases for her. She’d bought a variety of Italian foods, and had persuaded Harry to do the same. He was pretty sure he was going to have to take a taxi home to stop his arms from dropping off, but he was having the most fun, the woman next to him chatting away as they wandered around together. Nobody had bothered Harry at all, despite a few young girls recognising him, and he was enjoying the anonymity of everything.

“Harry… look.” Harry looked up from where he stood and approached the stand Livia was now stood at. He pushed his sunglasses up onto his head as he looked at the jewellery items laid out in front of them. Many weren’t of any interest to him, clearly made with women in mind but there was a particular necklace that stood out to him.

The old man behind the stall stood up, clutching the wooden desk in front of him for balance, and Harry was slightly worried he was going to topple over. He started to speak, and Harry knew he was going to have to rely on Livia to translate for him. The way the man spoke, the way his lips delivered the fast Italias was mesmerising, and Harry decided then and there he was going to try and learn the language, finding it intriguing.

“He say you look at the Lira necklace?” Harry nodded, taking the item from the man who was holding it out to him. It was on a gold chain, and a slightly dented yet captivating Italian coin hung from it, in a golden mount. Harry let the coin rest against his palm, and imagined it nestled against Louis’ chest as the man spoke, Livia nodding during his pauses. “He say it one of a kind. _Unico nel suo genere_ . He made it years ago, wants to give it to someone special. It is _raro_ , rare, unique. The coin… it is special and needs to be worn by someone _meritevole_. Worthy.”

“ _Posso comprare questo, per favore_ ?” Harry asked, keen to buy the item for his husband now. He couldn’t stop imagining Louis wearing it, the coin sitting beneath his shirt while he worked, a symbol of their rare and special love. The older man nodded and took the necklace back, laying it in a royal blue box before tying a matching ribbon around it. Harry handed over a wodge of notes, his heart thudding at his purchase, slipping it into his bag. “ _Grazie. Addio_.”

Livia let out a stream of Italian then, and they walked away together, both worn out from their morning of shopping together. Harry hailed her a taxi, ensuring the woman was sat safely in the backseat before he put the bags on the floor next to her. She spoke her address to the taxi driver, and laid a hand on Harry’s arm.

 _“Colazione domani?_ ”

“Si, I’d love to have breakfast again tomorrow,” Harry replied, kissing her cheek. “See you then Livia. And thank you, for everything today.” He waved as the taxi drove away, a plume of dust following it and Harry smiled to himself, peering into the bag and taking note of the box holding his present for Louis. It would still be four long days until he saw his husband again, and he wasn’t sure he could wait that long to hold him again.

*****

“Thanks Mr Penguin man, goodbye!” Jacob waved eagerly at the staff member at the zoo where Zayn and Louis had taken him for the day, his new stuffed penguin clutched eagerly to his chest with the other hand. Louis grabbed his hand as they walked off, aware the zoo was busy and that people had been whispering and pointing at them all day as they moved around the zoo. Now that Louis had become well-known in his own right, several people had asked for photos with him, and he’d obliged, as long as they promised to keep Jacob out of it, leaving his son with Zayn while he snapped photos and signed things for people.

He’d text Harry in amusement, telling him he had his own little fanbase now, and Harry had replied telling him he wasn’t surprised, that Louis deserved everything he was getting because he was so gorgeous. Louis had blushed and Zayn had teased him relentlessly about that for an hour, not able to believe Louis could still act like a schoolboy because of the words of his husband of nearly a year now.

“Right, little man, I think it’s time to go home, don’t you?” Jacob pouted and shook his head, but his weary and slow steps said otherwise. He’d been up ridiculously early that day, too excited for his trip, and had been waiting by the front door for thirty minutes for Zayn to arrive, Percy sat patiently by his feet. They’d left, and Jacob was flicking through all the pieces of paper he’d gotten Louis to print out from the internet about the zoo, reading Louis and Zayn facts about various animals, and the zoo all the way.

The day had been a complete success, with Jacob behaving brilliantly, and Louis taking hundreds of photos which he had intended to send to Harry as soon as he got home and had access to his laptop again. They walked quietly to the car, Jacob getting tearful as they left since he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the zoo just yet. They’d driven away in silence, the little boy falling asleep just ten minutes drive from the zoo, leaving a peaceful journey home for Louis and Zayn, much to their relief. Although they both worked with children and were used to the noise and stress of it, it was entirely different to be out with Jacob for the day, and they were both needing a good rest.

Zayn indicated and pulled up in front of Louis and Harry’s house, Jacob stirring from his sleep as if he had sensed he was home at last.

“Lou? Do you want me to keep Jake tonight? I know you have your appointment in the morning and I was going to have him anyway, so makes sense for him to sleep at mine? I can cook him some dinner and stuff, and I’m sure he left his dino pj’s at mine the other week to wear?”

Louis pondered it for a moment before he realised Zayn was right, that it would be easier for everyone, but he turned around to check with Jacob first. “That okay with you, little love? Stay with Uncle Zaynie, and I’ll come by and get you tomorrow after my appointment?”

“Okay,” Jacob mumbled, still tired. “But I need my teddy, can I get that first?” Louis nodded and they all got out of the car, heading into the house. Percy was excited to see them all, running in circles around Zayn’s feet in the hallway while Louis and Jacob went upstairs to collect his things. “Bye Daddy, I love you. If you talk to Dad, tell him I love him lots.”

“I will, but I’m sure if you ask Uncle Zayn, he’ll let you use his phone to text Daddy or send him a little video before you go to sleep, okay?”

“Alright. And look after Percy, make sure you walk him and pick up his poo. Normally Dad does the poo so do it properly, please.” Zayn snorted in the background at Jacob’s instructions and Louis just rolled his eyes.

“Oi, cheeky monkey. I used to change your nappies often enough, you made it to seven years old, I think I can look after the dog by myself!” Jacob laughed and buried his face in Louis’ neck, squeezing him tightly as Louis picked him up and walked outside, setting him into the car seat in the back of Zayn’s car. “Be a good boy for Uncle Zayn, love you sweetheart.” Louis kissed Jacob and waved as they drove off.

The house was quiet without his son and husband, and Louis wandered around, opening the fridge to see what was for dinner. He didn't like the silence and flicked on Harry’s last album on his phone, comforted by the sound of his husband’s dulcet tones filling the house as he cooked himself a quick meal of pasta and meatballs, sending Harry a photo of his meal to prove he’d been eating properly while he was away.

After he had eaten, Louis hadn’t heard from Harry still and decided to walk Percy, clipping the lead to the dog’s collar and putting his Airpods into his ears before he set off, the weather much more brisk than it had been earlier on at the zoo. He walked quickly, keeping his body warm and Percy liked the quick pace, his little legs tiring quickly although Harry was adamant their puppy needed more exercise as he grew.

 

“Can I pat your dog, mister?” a little boy said, tapping Louis on the thigh. Louis tapped his earbud to silence it, and looked over to his father, stood near the boy, an apprehensive expression on his face.

“Um, if it’s okay with your dad?” The man stepped over and held the little boy’s hood, looking at Louis as if he were trying to place him in his mind, something Louis was quite familiar with now. “He’s okay, I promise. I have a seven year old, and Percy loves being around him. He’s very tame.” The man nodded and let his boy creep forwards, Louis holding on tightly so Percy wouldn’t jump up and scare the small boy. “There you go, he likes being rubbed between his ears.”

The little boy grinned up at Louis as his small fingers delved into Percy’s soft fur, the puppy sitting beautifully still and accepting the touch. “He’s soft, like my Brian.”

“Brian?” Louis asked, and he smiled at the sight of the boy’s dad laughing quietly behind him. “You have a dog, too?”

“No, a gerbil called Brian,” the man replied, and Louis tried to keep his face as neutral as he could. “Bloody Brian, god knows why he’s called that.”

“Well, our son called our dog Percy, so I’m not one to talk,” Louis quipped, making Percy sit again after he got up in excitement.

“Sorry, but do I know you?” The man said, clearly frustrated at not being able to work out how or if he knew Louis. “You just look familiar, it’s odd…”

“Um, no I don’t think so,” Louis mumbled, hoping he could get away before the man realised he was married to Harry. “I’d better get walking, bye little man…” Louis waved as he walked off, tugging on Percy’s lead as he practically jogged home. They entered the house and Percy went straight to the kitchen, lapping thirstily at his water while Louis went upstairs, pulling off his clothes.

He took a quick photo of his topless self and sent it to Harry, pleased when a reply came quickly back from his husband. He smiled as he tapped out their exchange on his screen, and set it down on the bed as he walked into their bedroom entirely naked by now, and opened his drawers, grabbing some shorts before he walked to Harry’s and took out a t-shirt to sleep in, preferring to sleep in Harry’s things, especially when he wasn’t here. Louis turned to the laptop he’d brought up earlier and put on Netflix, watching another episode of a show Harry didn't particularly like as he got himself ready for a shower.

 

He went to grab a pair of boxers, putting his hand in the drawer, eyes still on the laptop screen but he stilled as his hand brushed across something stuffed away in the back corner of the drawer. Louis swallowed heavily, his cock responding to the soft fabric and he gripped it between his fingers, slowly pulling it out.  His heart twitched at the sight of Harry’s lace knickers, and he licked his lips, letting his eyes shut as he allowed pictures of Harry wearing this pair into his mind.

Louis made a sudden decision, and went over to the bed, picking up his phone again. He teased his cock with Harry’s knickers, enjoying how hard he got before he wrapped the lace around his erection, his fist gripping at his length and stroking up and down, the rough fabric a contrast to the soft skin of his shaft. When he was fully hard and precome was leaking from his tip, he bit his lip, deciding to do something quite bold.

He grabbed his phone and set up a filter, taking a photo of his cock, making sure Harry could see that it was his favourite pair of knickers wrapped around him, and sent before he could change his mind. He laid back on the bed, hitting pause on the laptop as he started to stroke himself, his heart racing at what he’d just done. When his phone pinged with a message from Harry, Louis picked it up with his shaking left hand and unlocked it, reading the message on the screen.

 

Louis smirked to himself at the fact he was the only one who would know Harry wore knickers for him, and he carried on wanking himself, hissing when the lace rubbed against his tip, catching on his foreskin slightly. His phone went oddly silent after his last message, and Louis wondered if he’d done something wrong when his laptop trilled out with an incoming Skype call from Harry.

Louis gasped and released his cock, rolling onto his side to answer the call, a few nervous seconds before Harry's flushed face filled the screen. Louis grinned at the camera at the top of his screen, and reached out, wishing he could touch his husband’s soft cheek, kiss his plump lips, run his tongue up the angle of Harry’s jaw.

“Louis… shit. You have no idea how much that photo turned me on…” Harry’s voice was low and raspy, and from that alone, Louis knew what his husband was up to.

“Shit, baby, I miss you,” Louis whispered back, moving his hand faster up and down his cock now, the knickers still between his hand and his shaft. “Harry, let me see…” He gasped again when Harry panned the camera down, showing off his naked body to Louis, and his hard cock gripped in his fist. Harry was lazily stroking himself, and Louis could see the bottle of lube on the mattress next to his thigh. “Lube? You being naughty, babe?”

“Maybe,” Harry panted out, bringing the camera back up to his face again, biting down hard on his lip, breathing heavy and laboured by now. “God Louis, I want you to fuck me so hard, want you so bad right now…. Ohhhhh-” He moaned and that sent a spark of want through Louis, and he pushed the laptop away from him so Harry had a view of his whole body. “You look so sexy, can’t believe you’re mine, only mine-”

“Harry… oh god-” Louis brought a hand down, teasing himself at his rim, and he could see Harry’s dark eyes watching the path of his fingers through the screen, wanking himself off to the sight of Louis’ actions. “Wish it was your fingers inside me… your long fingers, they feel so good…”

“Yeah, love fingering you baby, love opening you up for my cock, feeling your tight hole stretch for me-” Louis moaned as Harry continued to talk dirty to him, his camera shaking more as he began to wank himself faster, both of them incredibly turned on by now. “Shit, it’s only been, oh fuck, a week, but I miss sex with you- need you, Lou…”

“I need you too, want you to come home-”

“Lou…” Harry stared at the camera, clearly slowing his hand for a moment as he looked at Louis, and pushed the tip of his finger inside himself, a low whine coming from his lips as he waited to Harry to continue speaking. “Baby, I want you to do something for me… please?”

Louis just nodded, aware that what Harry wanted him to do was probably very sexual, but in that moment, he didn't care. He worked his finger in and out of himself as he listened to Harry’s low voice rumble through the tinny speaker of his laptop.

“Get the box out of the cupboard-” Louis’ breath hitched as he realised what Harry wanted and he paused, his heart racing his chest as he carefully removed his finger, hissing at the sudden empty feeling. “Want you to get something to play with… let me watch.” Louis knew this was probably one of the dirtiest things they’d done together, and he nodded, sitting up and staring at Harry on the screen. “I wanna see you make yourself feel good, Louis.”

“Okay- fuck, yeah, I can do that,” Louis mumbled, getting to his feet and slowly stumbling towards the wardrobe where they kept their box of toys, well out of the reach of Jacob’s inquisitive little hands and mind. Louis had to stand up on his tip toes to reach it, and caught the corner, pulling it to the edge where he finally grabbed it in both hands, taking it back to the bed.

He angled the screen of the computer, making sure Harry could see all of him and the box as he lifted off the lid, looking with wide eyes at the array of things inside. A few of them he and Harry had yet to use, and now he was looking at them, Louis decided he wanted to try them, when Harry finally came home from Italy. He pushed a few things around, wondering what Harry wanted him to play with before he held up two things, allowing Harry to decide.

“Fuck, use the dildo,” Harry groaned as Louis nodded, setting the box on the floor next to the bed. Louis reached into his bedside drawer and grabbed the lube before he settled back on the bed, eyes fixed on the camera again. “Go on, baby…”

Louis quickly coated the plastic shaft in some lube, not wanting to hurt himself before Harry got home and could fuck him hard, and he decided to start with one finger, teasing himself.

“Haz- let me see you, wanna see your cock, babe.” Harry nodded and flipped his camera, making sure his hand stroking his cock filled the screen. He watched as Harry thumbed over the head, collecting the precome and swiping it down the side of his cock, stroking hard and fast again. Watching the head disappear and reappear over Harry’s big fist was mesmerising, and Louis shuddered as he imagined how it would feel in his mouth, how the weight of Harry’s hard cock would rest on his tongue and fill him perfectly. “Tell- ah, tell me what you want me to do, tell me, Harry-”

“Shit, yeah,” Harry whispered, his voice making Louis’ body respond with goosebumps. “Want you to put the tip inside your hole, tease yourself, pretend it’s my cock, Lou.” Louis nodded and did so, whimpering as the plastic cock stretched him out, shutting his eyes so he could pretend it was Harry fucking him instead of a cold plastic toy. “Push it inside, Lou, wanna hear you…”

“Fuck, not as good as you, but I feel full, missed this, missed you filling me up-” Louis rasped out, his voice strained as he adjusted himself to find a more comfortable angle to fuck the toy in and out of himself with. “When you get home, want you to fuck with me with this, then with your cock- can you, ah, can you do that, Harry? Fuck me and make me come from your cock?”

“Yeah, shit, it’s all I want,” Harry panted out, and Louis stared as Harry’s hand became a blur, working so quickly over himself. He watched as Harry wriggled around on the bed, his hand letting go of his cock so he could cup his balls, rolling them in his palm for a minute. Louis wished he could lick them and suck them gently into his mouth, just as Harry loved him to do, and he slipped with the toy, pushing it deep, making him cry out.

“Ah! Fuck, Harry-” he cried, a sensation of pleasure zapping through his body as the toy nudged his prostate, and Louis hurried to wrap his other hand around his cock, gripping the base firmly so he wouldn’t come too quickly. “Shit, wanna come-”

“Not yet,” Harry muttered, his voice low which just turned Louis on even more. “I can’t see Lou, I wanna see- oh my god. Fuck, yes-” He groaned as Louis got onto his hands and knees, pointing his backside at the camera, giving Harry a clear view of the toy buried inside him, his hand clutching the base of the toy tightly. “Oh Louis… you have no idea how good you look… wish I could use my tongue and make you feel good, would push that dildo deep into you while I lick around-”

“Oh Harry, please,” Louis begged, even though he knew there was nothing Harry could do about it at that moment. He started fucking the toy into himself even faster, aware from Harry’s breath that his husband was close too, and he wanted them to come together if they could, knowing watching Harry come over himself would send him over the edge too. “I need to come-”

“Me too, wish I could fill you up with my come, make you take it and then plug you up- wanna get home and fuck you and make love to you… make you know how much I fucking love and adore you-”

“Harry, I-” Louis gasped as he thumbed over the head and he grabbed for Harry’s lacy knickers, shoving them under his cock as he started to come, the toy buried deep inside his ass as he came hard, shuddering with the force of his orgasm. He looked down, watching his release coat the underwear, and finally, he dragged his eyes up to the screen, Harry’s pants the only sound he could hear. Louis exhaled heavily, and reached for the laptop, pulling it closer. “Baby… come for me… show me how fucking pretty you look when you come for me…”

“Fuck,- Louis, I- Lou…” Harry gasped out as he came, Louis’ eyes wide as Harry’s come splattered his tummy and torso, pooling on his flat and tanned stomach. Louis wished he was there to lick it off, and he licked his lips, missing the touch of Harry’s tongue against his own after his orgasm. “God, I fucking love you so much-”

“I love you, too,” Louis cooed, feeling more soppy now he had come and was sated. He gently pulled the toy out of himself and threw it to the foot of the bed, pulling the laptop onto his chest so his face filled the screen. “Baby, let me see your face…”

Harry quickly flipped the camera, and Louis thought his heart might burst as his husband’s red cheeked face centred in the screen. Louis wanted to cup his cheeks and kiss his lips softly. His heart ached as he realised how much he missed Harry, how empty their bed was without him. He reached for a tissue and wiped the come from his cock, throwing the knickers onto the floor before he buried down in the bed, pulling the quilt over him. “Shit, I’m glad Jake isn’t here,” he muttered, flicking off the light and staring at the screen, aware his face was only half-lit from the light of his laptop screen.

“Where is he?” Harry questioned, and Louis explained about tomorrow, and what his plans were. “You’re going anyway? Oh Lou, I’m so proud of you, baby.”

“I… I need to do this, and I think you being away is a good excuse to make me do it.” Louis yawned and blinked sleepily at the camera. “I’m so tired. How many more sleeps until you’re home?”

“Six, I think,” Harry said, too tired to work it out properly, tired just like Louis was now. “I finished another song today. I really hope you’re gonna like them, love.”

“Of course I will, no way I could do anything but love your songs,” Louis mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Harry, stay on the call until I’m asleep? Please? Miss spooning you, and hearing you breath as I fall asleep…”

“Anything for you, baby,” Harry reassured him, and Louis shut his eyes, letting Harry talk about his day, finally falling asleep as Harry started singing softly to his sleeping husband.

 _“_ _How many nights have you wished someone would stay?_  
 _Lie awake only hoping they're okay_  
 _I never counted all of mine_  
 _If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity_  
 _Infinity…”_

*****

“Take a seat, Louis.”

Louis nodded and hitched up his chinos as he sat down, feeling odd without his husband sat at his side, holding his hand and grounding him. He took in a few deep breaths, and stared as Katie took her notebook, sitting on her knee as she skimmed over the notes she’d taken last week before she smiled up at Louis, crossing her legs.

“So, how have you been, Louis? Is this the week Harry is away? I assume so as usually you’re here together.”

“Yeah, he’s in Italy at the moment, he’s been there just over a week now,” Louis admitted, already feeling more comfortable in the familiar environment. “He’s due home in about five days, but I’m really missing him now.”

“How have things been without him, between you and Jacob? Have you been managing in your own?” She peered at him over her glasses, and he nodded, wanting her to understand he was okay with his husband, he just preferred not to be without him.

“Yeah, it’s good. We’ve had a good time, actually. Of course we both miss Harry terribly, but we’re just getting on with it, as you do. I guess it’s the same for any family where someone has to travel for work, but we aren’t used to being apart so it’s a bit strange.”

“Have you done anything nice for you both since Harry left?” Katie asked, keen to get Louis to open up to her a bit more. She watched, taking in Louis’ body language as he thought about the question for a moment, a small smile creeping across his face as he thought back over the past eight or so days and the things he and Jacob had been up to since Harry had flown away.

“Yeah, yeah, we have,” he admitted, smiling to himself. “We had a boys night with my mates Zayn and Liam the other night, he loves being with the boys as much as I do. We stayed at Zayn’s, even took the dog and it was nice just to get out and be somewhere different for a while. I think it was easier being there because there wasn’t constant reminders of Harry around, so we could just relax for a bit. And Zayn went with us to the zoo a couple of days ago. It was great fun, Jake loved it and he was enthusiastic about everything.” He pulled out his phone and flicked through his photos, holding it up to show Katie one of Jacob with one of the penguins that the zoo keepers had allowed to get close to. “I love when he smiles like this… usually it’s Harry who puts this smile on his face, so it was good it was something I did for him that made him grin.”

“You know that isn’t true, Louis, that Harry makes Jacob smile more than you. You’ve been Jacob’s constant from the moment he was born, that boy loves you and adores you. I know you’ve had some tough times at home lately, but that doesn’t mean Jacob’s love for you has wavered at all. You and Harry are his home, his parents, you’re the ones he relies on. He loves you, Louis.”

Louis sighed and nodded, knowing that was true even if he couldn’t see it sometimes. He hated himself for how he’d damaged Jacob through his fighting with Harry, and he knew he was the root cause of everything, whether everyone wanted to admit it or not. “I know, I do. It’s just hard to see it sometimes, through the fog of everything else. I watch Harry be Jacob’s dad, and he’s so good at it. It comes easily to him, parenting. He only started really being a father just over a year ago but he’s just so good, so so good for Jacob and for me. I guess I’m kind of jealous of his ease with everything?”

“I understand, and that’s perfectly natural to feel that way. But remember, Harry is looking to you for guidance, to check he is on the right path, and more often than not, he will be mimicking the behaviour he’s observed you displaying with Jacob. Certainly things like discipline will have been entirely guided by you, whether you are aware of it or not.”

“Really?” Louis questioned, suddenly feeling surprised by that revelation. “I just assumed he was a natural born parent, that he and Jake just clicked somehow and that they didn't have to work for it.”

“That may be the case as well. But remember that initially, Harry didn't have the burden of responsibility towards Jacob that you have had from the moment your son was born. He was able to form a friendship before anything else, and nurtured his relationship with Jacob that way. Progressing through to parenting was a natural step for them both, and you have been a catalyst in making that transition smooth for the pair of them. You should feel proud of how supportive and encouraging you’ve been for both of them, Louis.”

“Wow, I… I guess I never thought of it that way,” Louis admitted, running his hand through his hair. “It’s nice to hear that, it is. I don’t know if we’ve mentioned this to you before but-” Louis cut himself off, suddenly unsure if he should mention this to Katie or not. “Um, well, Harry and I discussed, before his accident and our… troubles… we talked about having another baby.”

Katie smiled, unable to hold back her reaction. Deep down, she knew the love they had for each other would get them through anything, and the thought of them extending their family made her feel content. “You say talked. Past tense? Is that not something you want anymore, Louis?”

“Oh christ, yes, I want it more than anything. I want to see Harry with his own child, with our baby. I want him to feel everything I felt when Jacob was born, to see a part of you in your arms, to know that you love them unconditionally, and that they will love you in return. He deserves that, so much. He has so much love to give, and any baby he has will just be so lucky because they get to call him dad.” He smiled softly at the thought, and felt quite emotional all of a sudden, imagining Harry with their child.

“So, have you discussed this any further with Harry?” Louis shook his head quite emphatically, and Katie decided to press further, wanting Louis to talk. “Why not? Is there something you’re afraid Harry will say?”

“Um, that he doesn’t want that anymore with me? Since the whole me having a breakdown thing, he hasn’t really mentioned it again. I thought about looking for some clinics, since we want to use a surrogate, but I don’t want him to feel like I’m forcing it, or making him do something he doesn’t want to do. He means too much to me to do that. If he and Jacob are all I ever get to have, then they’re enough.” Louis had no idea at that moment how his words echoed those that Harry spoke to Livia just days before.

“Louis, you need to trust Harry. You need to know that you can talk to him, tell him your fears and your hopes. You need to share your feelings with him, and if a baby is what you want, and what he wants, it is certainly something you can pursue together.”

“I’m just scared,” Louis whispered, fiddling with his wedding band again, something he tended to do when he was nervous. “I don’t think I could bear it if he said he didn't want that with me. I’d feel like I failed him as a husband.”

“Louis, you haven’t failed Harry. When I see Harry at look at you, I see love. In fact, I wish I could capture that look and show it to my other clients. Because the way Harry looks at you… it’s how every person dreams to be looked at by the one they love. I’m not sure there’s anything you could that could stop Harry from loving you. And trust me, that isn’t something I say very much in this job. Please, trust your husband, trust that he loves you.”

“I love him too, so much,” Louis mumbled, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “I just want him to be happy, with me, with our family.”

“He is. I can say that wholeheartedly,” Katie confessed, leaning forward and resting a hand on Louis’ knee. “I don’t think you realise just how happy you make him, Louis.”

“Not as happy as he makes me,” Louis whispered, wiping away an escaping tear. “I really don’t deserve him.”

******

The next morning, Harry huffed as he rolled over in bed, unable to sleep. It was warm, and despite only having a thing cotton sheet over his body, he felt too hot and sweaty to be comfortable. He’d already woken just after midnight and had a cool shower, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that right now. He grabbed his phone, lighting up the screen and wincing at the brightness before he moaned at the time, seeing it was only five in the morning. He glanced over to the curtains, seeing a sliver of daylight peek through and decided to give up on getting more sleep.

He reached across the bed, grabbing Louis’ t-shirt he’d taken off before he’d showered and padded quietly over to the balcony. He used the brass key to unlock the doors and swung them open, going back into the room to grab his leather journal. He headed back outside, goosebumps covering his body as the early morning air hit his sweat-damp skin. He took a seat on the black metal chair, pressing back into the soft cushion and sighing, feeling like he was in heaven.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon, the sky bathed in soft pinks and yellows as the world began to wake from its slumber. All Harry could hear was the twittering of birds in the distance, and he relaxed, his eyes taking in the breathtaking view in front of him. He watched as a few small clouds glided across the sky, dancing on the breeze as silhouettes of birds moving seamlessly, floating, carefree.

Harry’s heart felt heavy as he realised how much he’d love to share this sight with Louis. He knew Louis would appreciate the beauty and tranquility of the moment, and he imagined himself entwined with Louis’ body as they stared out across the lake, wrapped up in each other. Harry took his journal and cracked open the cover to a new page, using the stub of a pencil he had left to jot down some lyrics that sprang to mind, picturing his Louis in his mind as the words flew from him, capturing his every thought.

Harry sat there for what felt like minutes but in reality was a few hours until the sun was hovering in the sky, Italy waking up around him, people going about their daily routines. Harry stretched out, the bones in his back cracking as he stretched. He glanced down at the page in front of him, smiling at the plethora of words and lyrics he’d written, eager to turn them into something he could sing to his husband when he got home.

Reluctantly, Harry got himself up off the chair and walked back into his bedroom, ignoring the mess of covers on his bed and rooted around, picking out a linen shirt he knew Louis loved on him and a pair of navy shorts, shoving his feet into his Converse. He knew Livia wasn’t going to be at the cafe for breakfast for at least another hour but Harry grabbed his phone and wallet, leaving the house anyway, wanting to take the scenic route.

It was another hot and sticky morning, and Harry stopped to talk to a local man on his travels, using some of the Italian Livia had taught him to make conversation before the man switched to English, sensing Harry’s limited Italian vocabulary was coming to an end. Harry waved as he walked off, feeling part of the community and smiled to himself at the thought. He wished that he could introduce his family to the people that he’d met, show off his beautiful boys, show everyone he wasn’t alone in the world, that he had everything he needed in those two people by his side.

Harry stopped at a small park and sat on a bench, watching as mothers with pushchairs, small children with colourful toys and business men walked past him on their way to various locations, making up small stories for each of them in his head as he watched the world go by. It was something he used to love to do, and he thought for a moment what people must think about him, sitting there alone, staring into space.

After a short while, he got up, aware Livia would probably be waiting for him. The cafe was much quieter than normal, and as he descended the steep stone path he’d come from to get to the seating area for the cafe which overlooked the town, he smiled as the familiar silhouette caught his eye. He pushed his sunglasses up onto his head and hurried over, touching the woman’s shoulder, making her jump slightly as she turned around, hand on her heart. She smiled when she realised it was Harry, and batted at his arm.

“ _Bontà! Mi hai fatto saltare_!” She cried, telling Harry he’d made her jump, and Harry made an apologetic face, holding out an arm for her to take as they walked up the street.

“ _Mi dispiace_ ,” Harry apologised, guiding her over to their usual table with the perfect view. “ _Caffè_?” She nodded and Harry signalled for a waiter who recognised them, nodding at Harry as he knew their order by now.

“You look tired,” Livia stated, blunt and to the point as always.

“I am,” Harry confessed. “I didn't sleep well last night, I was too hot and I’m missing Lou so much.” He stirred at the coffee the waiter put on the small table with his spoon, staring at the motion of the spoon. “I mean, I knew I’d miss him, but this two weeks has felt like a lifetime. I’m ready to go home now.”

“I understand,” Livia said, reaching for her croissant and pulling off a bit of pastry off before she put in her mouth. “He’s your _casa._ Your home.”

“He is,” Harry mumbled, nodding as he sipped on his drink. They sat silently for a while as they ate, but it was comfortable somehow. Livia began to talk a while later, telling Harry about her grandchildren that were coming to visit, and how she wished he could meet them, that she’d love to introduce them to him. He promised he would come back and see her again, and he suddenly felt emotional at the thought of having to say goodbye to her in just a few days time.

“Harry…” Livia said, her voice low, the name rolling off her tongue as she stared into the distance. “Describe him. Your Louis. Tell me about him. How he look.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ve seen his photo, Liv.”

“Humour me,” she said, a coy smile on her lips, and Harry sighed, knowing he couldn’t say no to his new friend.

“He just… he’s beautiful. His hair is golden, and when the sun shines on it, it’s like a halo or something. It frames his beautiful face, and makes me smile so much. I love running my fingers through it. But his eyes… his eyes are like the bluest sky you’ve ever seen. I look into them, and it’s like I can see into his soul. They sparkle, and I think they’re the best thing about him, aside from his heart.” Harry blushed as he realised he was gushing a bit but Livia just nodded, wanting him to carry on.

“Um.. his smile. It makes the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle, and when he smiles, my heart feels happy. His smile is one of the most beautiful and stunning things I’ve ever seen. The curve of his waist… my hand fits there perfectly, like we were made for each other… like he was made to be mine.” Harry swallowed, feeling a lump rise in his throat.

“ _Perfetto._ You describe him perfect, Harry. Everything you say is right. He is stunning.” Harry frowned slightly, wondering what the old woman, if she was losing her marbles a little. “Your beautiful Louis.”

“What? Livia, what do you mean?” Harry asked, taking her hand, concerned for her now. “I don’t-”

“He is as you say. He is _bello_. Beautiful. I see what you see, Harry.”

“How….” Harry trailed off as he realised Livia was staring at something behind him, her eyes locked on something, a small smile on her lips, her eyes lit up with something he wasn’t sure he had seen before. His heart started thudding as his hands started to shake. “No…” Slowly, Harry pushed back from the table, getting to his feet before he turned around.

His eyes filled with tears as he looked into the distance, staring at the figure stood at the top of the path where he had come from just minutes ago. Harry felt glued to the ground as the figure started to walk towards him, and as the sun spread across the face of the man, Harry started to cry, burying his face into his hands, feeling Livia’s arm come around his waist.

“ _La tua casa è venuta da te_ , (your home has come to you)” she whispered into his ear, pushing him forwards gently. He looked up, wiping at his eyes as he grinned, happiness filling every single inch of his body as his Louis was stood there, waiting for him. Harry didn't hesitate. He started to run, and Louis moved too, their bodies colliding as they met, Harry scooping Louis up into his arms, tearing streaking down his face.

“How- what-” he mumbled, breathing in Louis’ smell, not wanting to let him go, not even for a second. He set Louis back on the floor and grabbed at his face, their lips meeting for a moment before Harry pulled away, laughing in disbelief at the sight of Louis there, right in front of him. “Louis.. How…”

“I don’t work without you,” Louis mumbled, his own blue eyes filled with tears now. “I missed you, Harry. I can’t be without you… I don’t ever want to be-”

Harry cut him off with another kiss, hands still trembling as it sank in that Louis was here, he was truly here in Italy, with Harry. They were together at last, reunited. “You… I love you, I love you so much, Louis.” He hugged his husband tightly again for a moment, and grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss to his wedding ring. “Louis, there’s someone I want you to meet… oh god, I can’t wait for you to meet her…”

He grabbed Louis’ hand and laced their fingers together, wide smiles on their faces as they headed together to the woman who was stood crying into her handkerchief, seeing echoes of her own love for her husband in the two men stood in front of her. It was true love, of that she had no doubt at all.


	64. Get On Your Knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry embrace being in Italy together, and enjoy every second of their time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 4 days this time, woo! Hope you enjoy this one... part 2 of their Italy reunion will be here soon!
> 
> Chapter title: Get On Your Knees by Ariana Grande

“You must be Louis,” Livia said, shuffling forwards and gripping Louis’ outstretched hand in her own. Harry watched with pride as Louis ignored the handshake and instead wrapped the woman in a hug, embracing her fully. “I long to meet you, to see the man who make Harry smile like he see the sun.”

“Oh wow, um, yes, I’m Louis, Harry’s husband,” he said, cheeks reddened thanks to Livia’s words. “Funny choice of words, actually. We have tattoos for each other of the moon and the sun…. Harry’s my moon, I’m his sun…”

“True love,” Livia mumbled, sitting back down, her legs weary. Harry called for the waiter and ordered Louis a coffee in Italian, Louis’ jaw dropping at his husband’s easy use of the new language.

“You… you speak Italian now?! You’ve only been here just over a week, and you’re fluent?”

“No, far from it,” Harry chuckled, taking Louis’ hand and holding it on top of his own thigh, smiling at his husband, still unable to believe Louis was actually here. “Livia’s been teaching me a bit, but- hey, never mind that. Louis, you’re here. How… how did this happen? Where’s Jake?”

“Jake’s with your Mum, with Percy. I… I went to our appointment with Katie yesterday and I just realised how much I love you and how much I missed you. I went straight to Anne’s and asked her to have Jake, then went home and packed, got Zayn to drop him off and went back to say bye. So… here I am.”

“You did that for me? Shit, Louis…” Harry mumbled, wrapping his husband up into a tight hug, not caring most people in the cafe were now watching their emotional reunion. Harry pulled back and wiped at his teary eyes again, kissing Louis’ lips quickly. “I… I just can’t believe you’re here, you’re actually here.”

“I actually am,” Louis teased, gripping Harry’s hand tightly again. “So, Livia, has my husband been behaving himself?”

“Si, Louis, all he talk about is _tu_ . You. He show me photos on his little computer, your son is very _prestante._ ”

“Handsome,” Harry chimed in, wanting Louis to follow the conversation. He watched as Louis’ chest puffed up with pride at Livia’s compliment and he nodded slightly, a smile on his face. Harry just wanted to kiss up and down his stubbly cheek, show Louis how much he loved him. “I’m not even going to apologise. I missed you, and I loved talking about you, both of you. God, Lou, I just cannot believe you’re here in Italy, with me, right now.”

There was quiet as they drank their coffees, Louis staring out into the distance, letting the Italian atmosphere sink in. Harry could see his eyes were wide behind his sunglasses, and he couldn’t wait to show Louis around some of the places he’d visited while he’d been out there. Soon enough, Livia waved them away, sensing the pair needed some alone time.

“Go, be together. Enjoy each other, and _Italia_. I see you before you leave?”

“Oh god, yes, tomorrow, for breakfast?” Harry questioned, and she shook her head, a small smile on her lips. “Oh, um, Wednesday, then? I want to see you before Lou and I go home.”

“ _Certo_ . You just be together, love each other. I see you very soon. _Grazie per la colazione, Harry. Addio.”_ She stepped forwards and kissed each of them on the cheek before she stepped away from the table, hobbling off into the distance, leaving Harry and Louis alone.

“So, are you going to show me some of Italy, then?” Louis asked, turning his body to face Harry slightly, a soft smile on his face. “You’ve been teasing me for ages with those beautiful pictures, so I’d love to see some of them for myself, if you don’t mind?”

“God, of course I don’t mind, I’ve been dying to show you, Lou. In fact, there’s one place I really want to show you, it’s where I- I’ve written quite a few songs there. It’s beautiful, and so peaceful. Would you like to see it?”

“I’d love to,” Louis whispered back in reply, leaning in to kiss his husband. “Show me the way, beautiful.” He held out his hand and Harry took it, picking up Louis’ bag and walking off into the distance. The sun was warming up their bodies, and they talked easily as they strolled, Harry guiding the way, pointing out little places along the way that he’d been to or sent photos of to Louis. He was quite animated, and he could see Louis loved him being so enthusiastic. “Don’t stop, babe. I love hearing you talk like this. It’s like you’ve got your spark back again, you’ve found something you’re passionate about.”

“That doesn’t mean I forgot about you or anything, Louis,” Harry hurried to say, wanting Louis to understand that just because he had enjoyed his time in Italy, it didn't mean Louis had been out of his mind for even a second. “You were all I thought about, all I dreamt about-”

“Harry, I know, don’t worry, darling. I think all the texts and tweets and phone sex told me that. Actually, there’s something you haven’t done…” Louis tugged at Harry’s hand, bringing them both to a stop at the top of a small hill, no-one around except for themselves.

Harry frowned, trying to work out what Louis meant. “I don’t… oh.” He smiled as Louis puckered his lips and Harry stepped up to his husband, resting his hands on the hips he’d missed so much, letting his hands slip up and under the hem of Louis’ shirt. “Well, I’d better put that right, hadn’t I?”

“You better had,” Louis mumbled, and Harry leaned in slowly, savouring the anticipation of the moment. “Just kiss me, Styles.”

“Tomlinson,” was all Harry got out before their lips met in the middle. He’d kissed Louis when he’d arrived, but this was different. This was needy, it was hungry, it was both of them reconnecting again. Harry quickly parted his lips, letting Louis’ tongue slip into his mouth, moaning into the kiss. Louis’ hands came up and tugged at Harry’s hair, pulling him down so he was bent over, and Harry’s hands sank down, grabbing at Louis’ backside. Both men moaned and the kiss deepened, tasting each other for the first time in what felt like far too long.

The kiss was probably indecent considering they were out in public but neither of them cared. All that was running through their minds was each other, and they lost themselves in it, needing nothing more than one another in that moment. It was Louis who broke away first, licking his lips with a smile on his face, staring deeply into Harry’s eyes, emotion getting the better of him as he sniffed and became tearful.

“I… I don’t want to be without you, not ever again,” he mumbled, sinking his head into Harry’s chest. Harry’s long arms came automatically up and around him, holding Louis close to his body as they calmed themselves down for a minute. “I know you needed this, but I don’t want to do it again. Let me come with you next time, okay?”

“There won’t be a next time, not without you,” Harry reassured him, picking up Louis’ left hand and he kissed the back of it softly, before he kissed his wedding band. “This means forever, yeah? We’re a family, a team, nothing can change that. Come on, baby, let’s go, I want to show you this place.” Louis nodded and allowed Harry to keep walking, both of them taking in the beautiful scenery. Harry led Louis up and down small steps, finally arriving at their destination.

“Oh my god… Harry, this is beautiful, I-” He cut himself off, not sure what to say now. The sun was beaming down from the azure blue sky, it was peaceful, and the view in front of them was more than stunning. Ahead of them was the expanse of water, a beautiful Italian lake, and surrounding it was a plethora of trees and plants. It seemed like Harry and Louis’ little corner of heaven, all to themselves.

Harry put Louis’ rucksack over to one side and sat down on a small grassy area first, and Louis quickly settled between his legs, resting his back against Harry's chest. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, resting his hands on the flat area of his tummy and he sighed, smelling Louis’ hair. They didn't need to speak, needed no words for what they were doing, but Harry couldn’t resist whispering things to Louis as they sat, letting the atmosphere sink in.

“I wrote so many songs for you,” he whispered into Louis’ ear, seeing goosebumps appear on his husband’s skin. “I want to play them for you, soon, when we’re home. I… I put my heart into them, Lou. I think you’ll know when you hear them where I was, what I was thinking of. But they’re all for you. Every word is for you.”

Louis turned around and smiled, looking up at Harry for a moment before he spoke. “I… um, I tried too. Writing, I mean. It won’t be as good as yours, but I tried. I think I did maybe two songs.... But they’re both for you, as well. And if you want them, you can have them. You can have everything. It’s all yours.”

“I love you. I can’t wait to hear what you did, Lou. Will you, um, will you sing them? For me?”

“Shit, I don’t know. I didn't really think about the melody, I just went with the words, I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, no, it’s fine. Maybe we could sort that out, together? Make them a joint effort, like Home? I’d really love to do that again, it was so wonderful to write music with you, babe.”

“Can you sing me something now? If you know it, I mean.”

Harry nodded and closed his eyes, pulling Louis back against him once more. “I actually sang this one for you when you were falling asleep the other night, after we… well, after Skype.” Louis chuckled at that, shaking his head slightly.

“I don’t remember that, I think you wore me out, even when you were an ocean apart from me. But please, sing for me?”

Harry cleared his throat and took a breath, trying to remember the words and tune he’d had in mind when he’d written one of his songs for Louis, one of many, in fact.

 _“_ _Eyes can't shine_  
_Unless there's something burning bright behind_  
_Since you went away, there's nothing left in mine_ _  
I feel myself running out of time_

 _And now I'm one step closer to being_  
_Two steps far from you_  
_And everybody wants you_ _  
Everybody wants you_

 _How many nights does it take to count the stars?_  
_That's the time it would take to fix my heart_  
_Oh, baby, I was there for you_  
_All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah_  
_How many nights have you wished someone would stay?_  
_Lay awake only hoping they're okay_  
_I never counted all of mine_  
_If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity_  
_Infinity, infinity, yeah_ _  
Infinity.”_

Harry didn't see Louis look up at him so shuffled his body around, shocked to see tears falling down his husband’s cheeks. He made quick work of turning Louis around, kissing the tears away before he held him close again. “Lou, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, I just…”

“Harry, that was beautiful. So beautiful… that first bit, it was about us, wasn’t it? When I pulled away from you?” Harry nodded, and swallowed down the lump in his own throat. “Shit. I’m sorry I made you write something that painful. But the chorus… fuck, you have such a way with my words, my love. I don’t know how you can sing something so emotional without crying, I’m a wreck just from listening to it.”

“Years of practise. Trust me, I find it hard sometimes, to keep my voice steady. But I just close my eyes and imagine you, it gets me through.”

“I love you. And now I just want to hear more, need to hear everything you’ve written, even if you just read the words to me.” Louis tilted his head back and kissed Harry’s lips gently for a few seconds. “Oh. Babe, I have something for you. Pass my bag?” Harry nodded and reached back, dragging his rucksack nearer. Harry sat patiently as Louis delved inside, pulling out his passport, a book, magazine, and oddly, one of Jacob’s socks before he yanked out a cream envelope, setting in on the concrete floor before he shoved everything back in, muttering “don’t ask,” as he pushed Jacob’s sock back into the bag. “Right, I think I know what this is, but I didn't want to open it without you.”

Harry took the envelope from Louis’ hand and grinned down at the name on it: **Mr. and Mr. Louis Tomlinson** , their address typed neatly underneath. Harry looked at it for a moment before he saw the postmark, and his eyes opened wide, jaw dropping. “Oh my god, is this-”

“I hope so,” Louis said, moving away from Harry until they were sat face to face, nudging his arms with his hand. “Come on, then. You do the honours. And yes, I’m sure before you start to argue with me.”

“Fuck, okay…” Harry fumbled with the envelope for a minute before Louis grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks.

“Hey, come on, we’re in this together, okay? Whatever it says, it doesn’t change anything, not really. Now open it, please? I’ve had this since before you left and it’s been killing me.”

“Oh god, alright.” Harry slid his finger inside the back flap of the envelope, going along until there was a tear all the way along. His hand shook as he reached inside and pulled out the thick piece of paper inside, an official looking logo at the top of the first sheet of A4 paper inside. Louis got up and sat next to Harry then, peering at the piece of paper over Harry’s shoulder, blatantly just as nervous as Harry was. “Oh my god….”

He began to read aloud, his voice wavering with emotion. “ _Regarding the legal adoption of Jacob William Tomlinson by the petitioner Harry Edward Tomlinson née Styles, there has been no objection to the legal paperwork by the child’s birth mother, Faye Catherine Holt. Therefore, this department will proceed with the formal paperwork into the final stages of adoption, and subject to no further objections or obstructions, the legal adoption of the above named child will be formalised in due course.”_

 _“_ Harry, it’s happening, shit, she didn't… she didn't object it. I can’t believe they found her, I…” Louis was shaking now, and he gave Harry a wobbly grin. “Oh god, he’s going to be your boy, Harry.”

“Shit- oh Lou-” Harry reached over and pulled Louis close, burying his head into his neck. He was suddenly very overwhelmed with the emotion of everything and he was shaking at the fact that adoption of Jacob was almost finalised, that he was almost Harry’s son as much as he was Louis’. “I don’t understand her, I don’t. But I’m very grateful. If it wasn’t her for her, I wouldn’t be able to do this, to make him mine.”

“I never understood her, not when she told me she was pregnant, and not when she turned up on my doorstep and gave him up. I never understood that she never contacted me again and asked to see him but I’m over it now. I am. I have you, and I have our son, and that’s everything.”

Harry leaned in and kissed Louis gently, nodding in understanding. “I feel the same, Louis.” They sat in that grassy area for what felt like forever, but when their stomachs started to rumble, Louis moaned of being hungry and they stood up, deciding to head back to Harry’s home for some food. Harry laughed when Louis whined about his tummy hurting with hunger, and mocked up for sounding like their son.

“Hey, speaking of Jake, do you have any idea what we can do for his birthday? We only have two weeks, and I’d like to be something special for him. He’s had a pretty shitty time of it lately, what with my accident and then… us, but now that’s all behind us, I want to do something amazing for him.”

“Yeah, I had an idea,” Louis mused, smiling over to his husband as they continued walking, soaking in the sights and sounds around them, stopping to talk to a few people Harry seemed to know before they continued on their journey. “How is it I can live somewhere for years and not know anyone, but you’re here a week and you know everyone?”

Harry chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “Got one of those faces, I guess. You never told me about Jake’s birthday…”

“Well, he’s always loved London. So… what about a trip up there? Maybe we could get a hotel for the weekend, take him on the London Eye, go to Buckingham Palace and the Natural History museum, see Tower Bridge? I… I never had the money to do it when he was little, when he used to ask. But now…”

“Now you can give him the world, Lou,” Harry muttered, dropping his husband’s hand and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “I think that’s an amazing idea. And, um, I had an idea what we could get him for his birthday.”

“Yeah? What?” Louis asked, wondering what Harry would come up with.

“Well, he’s an active little kid, but I get the idea sometimes he’d like his own little outdoor space, and I thought maybe… a treehouse? We have those huge trees at the bottom of the garden, and we get some really decent people in to make it? I know it wouldn’t be done in time for his birthday but he could maybe help design it, make it what he wants?”

“Fucking hell, he’d love that. God, you’re an amazing dad, love,” Louis said with a huge smile as they rounded a corner and stopped in front of a beautiful looking house. “Shit, babe, is this where you’ve been staying?”

Harry nodded and shifted Louis’ rucksack so he could pull his keys out of his pocket, Louis following him up the driveway. He jostled the key in the old-fashioned lock, pleased when it clunked open and he pushed it, allowing Louis to step inside ahead of him. He put Louis’ bag onto the floor and walked through, throwing open some of the windows on the lower floor to let the fresh air inside as Louis wandered around.

“I’ll give you a tour later, just come and sit with me?” Harry asked, and Louis nodded, following him. Harry quickly poured two glasses of lemonade from the bottles he’d bought at the market and handed one to Louis before he walked out to the patio area. They sat in the sun, sunglasses on their faces as they sipped the cool drinks. “I can’t tell you how happy I am you’re here, Lou. It’s been hours but I’m still shocked, is that stupid?”

Louis shook his head and got to his feet, coming to sit himself right down on Harry’s lap, wriggling around until he was comfortable. “Nah. I’m glad it was such a surprise, though. Maybe we could call Jake in a bit, let him know I got here safe and we’re together now?” Harry nodded and kissed at the side of Louis’ neck, making Louis shiver. “Christ, I’ve missed your kisses…”

“Don’t have to miss them anymore…” Harry muttered, pulling Louis’ face round so he could kiss him properly. They wasted no time in getting into it, Louis turning around so he was straddling Harry’s lap, fingers tangled up in his husband’s curls. Harry moaned as Louis’ fingers caught on a small knot, a fizz of pleasure erupting low in his belly, and he had a sudden want for his husband, needing to make up the time they’d been forced to spend apart. “Hold on tight, Lou…”

“Why, I- shit!” Louis shrieked loudly and wrapped his legs tightly around Harry’s waist as his taller husband got to his feet, steadying himself before he took a few steps forward. “Haz, what are you doing?”

“I’m taking my husband to bed, I assume you won’t be objecting?” Louis mumbled something under his breath before he shook his head, leaning in to suck a love bite into Harry’s neck, not caring it would be more than visible for the next few days while they finished up their Italian holiday. Louis licked over the mark as Harry started walking them both upstairs, his hands gripping Louis’ ass tighter than was strictly necessary but Louis wasn’t complaining, not at all. “Shit, I’ve missed this ass so much…” Harry kneaded the flesh beneath his hands and Louis moaned, letting Harry kick the door in front of them open.

Carefully, Harry set Louis down on the floor and watched as his husband gasped, taking in the sight of Harry’s, well, _their_ bedroom. In the middle of the room was a huge four poster bed, already made thanks to Harry’s obsession with neatness, and a soft breeze was blowing through a slightly open window. Several of Harry’s shirts were hanging from the wardrobe door, and Louis couldn’t help but cock an eyebrow at the bottle of lube rather conveniently placed on his bedside table.

“Having some fun, were we?” Louis teased, resting his hand on Harry’s, already keen to get him out of his clothes. Impatiently, he started to tug at the hem of Harry’s shirt. “Off, take it off, all off…” Harry just nodded and let Louis take the lead, undoing buttons, pushing clothes down and pulling them off before they both stood together in their boxers, eyes dark as they looked each other up and down. Louis smirked at the sight of Harry biting his lip, palming himself, clearly struggling to control what Louis was doing to him. He slowly released is lip, both of them red and kiss-bitten then, and Louis’ cock twitched in response.

“Gonna need you to put those blow-job lips to good use, sweetheart,” Louis rasped out, pressing the heel of his hand into his crotch, trying not to whine at the pressure. He watched with wide eyes as Harry took a step nearer and just dropped to his knees, hands coming up to lay on the front of Louis’ thighs. Louis focused on keeping himself upright, and looked down at his husband, ready and waiting for him.

Harry hooked his fingers into the waistband of Louis’ underwear, pulling them down with no preamble, his hard and heavy cock springing free against his stomach. Harry took it in his hand, stroking slowly, his fingers wrapped around Louis’ thick shaft. Louis shuddered at the sight but allowed Harry to bring him forwards, kitten licking at the wet tip of Louis’ cock. Louis ran his fingers through Harry’s hair and watched as he stumbled forwards, catching himself before he was steady again, kneeling in front of Louis, pliant and ready.

“Gonna make me feel good, love? Show me how much you missed me?”

“Fuck, wanna taste you, Lou…” Harry leaned in eagerly and swallowed Louis’ cock down almost in one movement, Louis gasping and willing himself not to come already, wanting to make this last as long as possible. Louis stood as still as he could, watching Harry suck him down, his cheeks hollowing each time he took Louis inside his mouth.

“Fuck, your mouth is fucking perfect,” Louis mumbled, tugging gently on Harry’s hair, like he knew his husband enjoyed. There was something about having Harry on his knees for him that did it for Louis. He might be a world famous singer, able to command the attention of an arena full of tens of thousands of people, have young girls across the world scream his name, but only Louis could have him on his knees, doing whatever Louis wanted, giving him the ultimate pleasure.

Harry just moaned, grasping Louis’ ass cheeks now, pulling him deeper into his mouth, gagging slightly when the tip of his cock hit the back of his throat but Harry carried on, determined to make Louis feel good, to give him what he wanted. Harry was eager for the taste of his husband again after so long, and he whimpered when Louis tugged on his hair again, giving him an idea.

Louis groaned as he looked down, seeing a string of saliva connecting Harry’s plump bottom lip to the end of his cock, and he cupped Harry’s cheek gently, stroking over it with the pad of his thumb. “You okay?”

“Mmm. Just… want you to fuck my mouth, Lou. Please?” His cheeks were red and Louis could sense he was nervous about asking the question, so Louis didn't hesitate in his answer, sensing that Harry needed this now, for some reason. “Lou-”

“Shit, yeah, I’d love that, please,” Louis mumbled, watching with dark eyes as Harry clasped his hands behind his back, leaving Louis to control his movements. Louis started off slowly, guiding just the tip in and letting it fall from between Harry’s lips before he pushed it back in, both of them groaning at the teasing sensations. Louis grew in confidence as he felt Harry enjoying it, and started to thrust a little quicker. “Harry, look at me, wanna see you-”

Harry’s eyes came up to meet Louis’ then, his pupils blown and cheeks red, mouth stretched around the width of Louis’ cock. It sent a shiver through Louis’ body and he picked up his pace, fucking in slightly harder, making Harry take everything he had to give him.

“So good for me, baby, take me so well-” Louis continued to ramble as he gripped tighter around Harry’s hair, the strands linked around his fingers, chasing his own orgasm now. There was something about being in total control that he loved and he adored how pliant and submissive Harry was like this. He knew Harry liked being ruined, taken care of, but this… Louis loved this, and he hoped they’d get the chance to explore this side of them a little more before they returned home. “Babe, I’m gonna come-”

Harry didn't pull off, instead, he leaned in and practically deep-throated Louis, his husband almost choking on his cock, and it was that image that sent Louis over the edge, spilling hotly in Harry’s waiting mouth, watching his husband struggle to swallow everything. He didn't pull off Louis’ cock, still sucking and whirling his tongue around the head between his lips as Louis finished coming, moaning with sensitivity.

“Fuck, Harry, I…” he trailed off, taking Harry’s chin between his fingers and removing his cock from his mouth. Harry kept looking up at him as he licked his lip, a trail of come seeping from the corner which Louis caught with his thumb, pushing it quickly into Harry’s mouth. He carefully pulled Harry to his feet and gasped when Harry rutted his erection against Louis’ hips, clearly incredibly turned on from sucking Louis off and being on his knees for him. “So good, love. Want me to take care of that?”

Harry took in a shaky breath as Louis’ hands came down to grasp his cock over his underwear and nodded his head blindly, reaching out to grasp at Louis’ body, wherever he could reach. Louis guided him over to the bed, pulling Harry’s boxers off before he allowed him to lay down, spread out bare for him on the bed. Louis smirked at the sight, his cock twitching again in response to Harry’s body, and he crawled slowly over him, straddling his hips, letting Harry’s cock nestle between his cheeks, teasing the pair of them.

“I’m not gonna let you fuck me,” Louis whispered, leaning down and licking a line across Harry’s collarbones, tasting the sting of sweat as he did so, murmuring in appreciation. “Gonna make you wait, and beg me for it. But I am gonna make you come, just with my fingers.”

“Please, Louis, need you-” Harry whined, writhing around under Louis’ body, thrusting his hips up slightly, groaning when the tip of his cock nudged around Louis’ hole. Louis trailed the tips of his fingers up Harry’s firm stomach, enjoying the contracting of his muscles under his touch, how perfect Harry’s body was for him. He avoided Harry’s nipples, knowing that was where he wanted to be touched most of all, and instead sucked another love bite into his neck, claiming Harry as his once more.

“You like that? Like me showing everyone what we did, that you’re mine?” Harry nodded blindly, crying out as Louis’ fingers flicked his nipples.

“Ah, Louis!” Louis grinned, loving how he was driving his husband wild, and rolled his hips in a circle, pressing down on Harry’s hard cock again, teasing the pair of them. “Shit, wanna be inside you-”

“Not now,” Louis chastised, pinching Harry’s nipple hard, rolling the hard nub between his fingertips. Harry was struggling now, he could see that. His hands were scrabbling for something, grabbing at the sheets underneath him. Louis watched Harry’s fingers, the way he clenched them around the sheet, how his biceps bulged with every twist and turn of his nipples. “Want you to come just from this, just from me playing with your beautiful nipples. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know…” Harry whined, and Louis got up, wriggling his body down slightly so he could bend over and suck one of the nipples into his mouth, whirling his tongue around gently, flicking back and forth over it again and again. Just when Harry was tensing up under him, Louis removed himself from that nipple, and moved across Harry’s chest, sucking the other one between his lips.

His hands were pinning Harry down by his shoulders, leaving Harry totally at Louis’ mercy again. The only sound in the room was silence as Louis worked over Harry’s nipples, feeling Harry’s cock harden underneath him, his husband approaching his orgasm with every second of teasing. Louis bit down gently on Harry’s nipple that was currently in his mouth, and enjoyed how it affected him, how Harry cried out his name again.

“Fuck, Louis… I need to come, please make me come-” Harry was begging now, tears in his eyes, his cheeks red from holding his orgasm back for so long. “I was good for you, let me come-”

“Alright, love,” Louis said, raising himself up enough that he could speak. He switched nipples again, licking and sucking at the bud while his other hands pulled at Harry’s other nipples, while he ground his hips down at the same time. “Come over me, want it-” Harry whined, biting hard on his lip as he forced his hips up, nearly making Louis topple off him before he centred himself again, sucking hard and biting down once more.

“Fuck, Louis- I… oh god…” Harry’s body shook as he started to come, and Louis could feel the stickiness pool under his hips, coating his balls and ass cheeks in Harry’s release. He was relentless with Harry’s nipples, playing with them until Harry was begging him to stop, crying Louis’ name over and over with pleasure flooding his veins. “I love you, Louis, love you so much, wanna be yours forever, I don’t-”

“Sshhh,” Louis mumbled, finally releasing Harry’s nipple and laying down on the bed next to him. He stretched out his arm and Harry immediately curved his body into Louis’, seeking warmth and comfort from his husband, now feeling vulnerable and sated. Louis obliged, tangling their limbs together, stroking Harry’s sweat damp hair. “I love you too, my beautiful boy.” Louis sensed Harry falling asleep in his arms, and stayed there until he was sure Harry was fast asleep before he moved.

He slid off the bed and padded quietly down the corridor to the bathroom, cleaning himself up with a warm flannel before he went downstairs, still naked and walked into the kitchen, running himself a glass of water from the tap, drinking it down thirstily. He went over to his bag which was still in the hallway and grabbed his journal from it, settling down on the sofa with the book and a pen, and began to write, inspired as ever by his beautiful husband.

*****

“Shit.” Harry cursed as he blobbed a bit of nail polish from the brush onto the edge of the table, and hurried to grab one of his soaked pads, wiping at it, making sure there was no stain before he dunked the brush into the small glass bottle again, wiping off the excess before he swiped the brush gently over his nail, admiring the streak of pale pink that was left behind.

“Morning, beautiful.” He startled as Louis’ low morning voice carried on the breeze, and he set the brush down, turning to smile at his beautiful husband. Louis had on a pair of what were clearly Harry’s boxers, pooled low at his hips, and he scratched absentmindedly at his tummy as he walked slowly over to Harry, bare feet padding across the tiled floor. He leaned in and kissed Harry’s lips softly before he glanced at his husband’s nails. “Beautiful colour. Want some help with your other hand?”

“Please, love,” Harry mumbled in reply, allowing Louis to sit down opposite him, pushing the bottle in his direction. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, actually. Think we wore ourselves out.” They both chuckled at that, and Louis stuck his tongue out in the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on making no mistakes with Harry’s nails. “It’s beautiful here, isn’t it? Can’t believe how stunning it looks, even this early in the morning.”

“I know. It’s a gorgeous view, that’s for sure.” Harry dragged his eyes up to meet Louis’, smiling softly at him for a second. “Not as gorgeous as my view right now, of course.”

“Sap,” Louis laughed, slapping Harry’s wrist gently. “I...um, after we… last night, I did some more writing. Got inspired, I guess.”

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked, blowing on the now drying nails as Louis screwed the lid on the bottle of polish, leaving it in the middle of the table. “This pink is so pretty, isn’t it? Wanted to look good for tonight.”

“Tonight?” Louis questioned, his brow furrowing. “What’s tonight?”

“Oh. Um… I’m taking you out for dinner. Livia told me about this beautiful restaurant, it overlooks the lake and she told it’s where she and her husband used to go, for their special dates.” Harry blushed at that, and Louis got up, coming to kiss the top of Harry’s head. “I hope that’s okay? You don’t have to dress up or anything-”

“Course I do. Want to look good on your arm, make you proud to be seen with me.”

“I’m always proud to be seen with you, love. Always. Hey, come with me a sec.” He got to his feet and dragged Louis along with him, up the stairs and into the bedroom. He sat Louis down on the edge of the bed before he went to his bedside drawer, removing a blue velvet box from it. He sat down next to Louis, both of them turning their bodies so they were facing each other r now. “Um… I bought you something the other day. I just… well, it’s from me, because I love you, Lou.” With nervous hands, he handed over the box, Louis accepting it with a shy smile, fingers working at the ribbon Harry had looped around it.

“I… I love presents, thank you sweetheart.” Louis looked down and cracked open the lid, gasping at the jewellery laid inside. Harry watched eagerly for a reaction. He knew Louis wasn’t a man who wore much jewellery, but he hoped he would wear this, would understand soon why Harry had bought him something so precious. “Oh Harry… it’s beautiful, I…” Louis lifted it out its casing with gentle fingers and laid the coin against the back of his hand, admiring it.

“I was at the market with Livia, and we stopped at this craftsman’s stall. Most of the jewellery was more my taste, a little more garish and bold, but I saw this. He told me it was a rare coin, that he had had it a long time, and wanted to sell it to someone who would love it like he did. Lou, I felt it was a sign, like our love is so rare and special, and this coin is a reflection of that, something you can wear all the time to remind you.”

He looked and saw Louis’ eyes were glassy with tears, and brushed his cheek with his hand gently. “Put it on me, please?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded. He fumbled for a second with the delicate clasp but soon fastened it around Louis’ neck, looking as the golden object lay against his husband’s flat chest, glistening in the morning sunlight. “It’s so beautiful, thank you darling.” Louis leaned in and kissed Harry gently, the pair sharing a moment together, silence all around.

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re not like me, you don’t wear much except for your wedding ring, but I just-”

“Harry, stop. Baby, I love it, I promise. And I want to wear it because you bought it for me, to symbolize our love. And that means everything to me, my darling. Now kiss me?” Harry grinned and nodded and allowed his husband to push him backwards onto the mattress, allowing himself to be rolled over, Louis sitting on top of him, the necklace dangling down between their bodies, a beacon of love amidst the passion they were displaying.

*****

Harry sighed and leaned back on the blanket he and Louis were sat on, watching his husband flick through the pages of his own journal. Louis had been a bit coy since they’d come out to talk about their music, and while he’d listened intently to Harry sharing his words and lyrics, he’d clammed up when it was time to share his own work. Harry didn't want to pressure him, knowing it wouldn’t be fair to Louis, but by the same token, he was so keen to hear Louis’ writing, already sure it would be something he would want to turn into a song for his new album.

“God, now I read it all back, it seems shit,” Louis moaned, turning the pages back and forth more frantically now. Harry sighed and reached across, placing a hand on his husband’s wrist, stopping his movements. “What?”

“Just… let me read it, let me be the judge of whether it’s shit or not?” Harry pleaded, his eyes earnest as they looked at Louis, who sighed and pushed the book into his husband’s lap. Louis laid back, closing his eyes, ankles crossed as he waited for Harry’s verdict.

In all honesty, Harry was amazed at what he’d written. Some of them were just lines, a few ideas thrown together, but there were a few where Harry could clearly see the beginnings of verses, and entire choruses, and some of the words excited him tremendously. “Babe… this is… shit, this is amazing. This one-” he jabbed at a page then in excitement, causing Louis to prop himself up onto his elbows so he could see, “-this is amazing. Do you have a tune yet, or…”

“Yeah, I… um, I kind of sat at your piano, working out a little something,” Louis admitted, a blush rising on his cheeks at the admission.

“Sing it for me?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I’ll blow you later if you do…” Louis huffed and nodded at that, snatching the book back and clearing his throat. He closed his eyes, and Harry did the same, wanting the words to wash over him as he listened to his husband’s voice as he started to sing.

_I figured it out_  
_I figured it out from black and white_  
_Seconds and hours_  
_Maybe they had to take some time_

_I know how it goes_  
_I know how it goes from wrong and right_  
_Silence and sound_  
_Did they ever hold each other tight_  
_Like us? Did they ever fight_  
_Like us?_

_You and I_  
_We don't wanna be like them_  
_We can make it 'til the end_  
_Nothing can come between_  
_You and I_  
_Not even the Gods above_  
_Can separate the two of us_  
_No, nothing can come between_  
_You and I_

_Oh, you and I…_

Harry stayed where he was for a moment when Louis had finished singing, and after a few seconds, allowed his eyes to flutter open, turning in the direction of Louis’ body. He rolled until he was on his side, and looked up at him, complete and utter love in his eyes. “Baby…”

“Oh god, you hated it, right?” Louis asked, snapping the book shut and setting it down next to his thigh. Harry sat himself up quickly, wanting to correct his husband before his negativity spread any further.

“No! Oh Lou, it was beautiful. That’s about us, right? Like… I can imagine you thinking of us when you wrote that, how we can get through anything. Because we can, can’t we? You and me, we’re a forever kind of thing.”

“Yeah, uh, yeah, that was about us,” Louis said, smiling at Harry’s words, pleased he had impressed his husband. “I started a second verse, but I wasn’t happy with it… maybe you could, uh, look at it with me later, or whatever, sort it out?”

“I’d love to,” Harry said, a smile on his lips again. “Right, now you’ve shared something with me, it’s my turn.” He turned to his bag and pulled out his own battered leather journal, words and symbols scratched into the leather with a biro, personalising it perfectly. Harry loved the book, and wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he’d used up every inch of every page within it. “Okay, so this is one of the first ones I wrote out here. I wish I had my guitar with me, but I think you’ll get the idea. It’s, um, well, this is completely about you.”

He cleared his throat, and started to sing, Louis immediately cuddling up to him, and Harry embraced him, determined that Louis understand every word was for him.

_Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me_  
_But bear this mind it was meant to be_  
_And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks_  
_And it all makes sense to me_

_I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile_  
_You've never loved your stomach or your thighs_  
_The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine_  
_But I'll love them endlessly_  
  
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to_  
_I'm in love with you and all these little things_

By the time Harry finished the first verse of the chorus, he could feel the chest of his t-shirt dampening with Louis’ tears, and sniffed himself, feeling overcome with emotion at singing the words of love to the man he loved most in the whole world. They sat together, tangled up as they held each other, Louis calming himself down after a few minutes. As he went to speak, Harry sang again, this time, the bridge he’d written, and possibly the most heartfelt piece of the whole song.

_You never love yourself half as much as I love you_  
_You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to_  
_If I let you know, I'm here for you_  
_Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh_

_I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth_  
_Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to_  
_And I'm in love with you (all these little things)_  
  
“I love you so fucking much,” Louis whispered roughly into Harry’s ear at that, the tears falling freely now. They trickled down Louis’ cheeks, dripping off his chin, wetting the chest of his t-shirt, some sliding down around the necklace he was wearing with pride. “I just… I know you’ve written songs for me before, a lot, but… that’s so special, Haz. After everything, after everything I did, you still love me so much, and I just… I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve to be loved like this-” He sobbed again, his hands coming up to cover his face which Harry quickly removed.

“Baby, no. You do deserve it, and so much more. I just want to spend our lives showing you how much you deserve it, how much you deserve to smile and be loved and be happy.” Louis gave him a wobbly smile at that, and Harry grinned back, hoping Louis understood how much he meant to him. “And tonight, I’m going to woo you and take you on a date, and show you how much you deserve everything good, Louis Tomlinson.”

And with that, he surged forwards, capturing a stunned Louis in a rough kiss, tilting him backwards slightly. Louis’ arms came up and around Harry’s neck to stop himself landing on the floor and they giggled, falling backwards into a heap of tangled limbs, kissing gently and lovingly.

“Love you. Wanna go home and get ready? I’ve booked a table for seven, and I know how long it takes you to perfect that hair…”

“Oi!” Louis punched Harry gently in the arm, making Harry pout and Louis kiss it away. “Rude. You’re the vain one in this marriage, so don’t even start. Actually, can we go home now? I’d like to call Jake again before we go out, and it’s a school night, so I don’t want to keep him up too late.”

“Course. Come on baby, let’s get home.”

 

*****

Dinner went beautifully. Harry and Louis were dressed smartly, and Harry had never felt prouder to walk around with Louis on his arm as he did that night. Instead of Louis tucking his necklace under his shirt, as Harry had expected him to, he’d worn it proudly, rubbing the coin between his fingers as they waited for their starters to be delivered, chatting easily, an ease between them that told of their love and commitment to each other.

Harry kept his foot looped around Louis’ ankle under the table, keen to always keep a point of contact between them, and more often that not held Louis’ hand over the tablecloth as well, stroking his fingers over Louis’ soft skin, working himself up a bit too much given their public location. No-one batted an eyelid at the pair, which was nice and a complete antithesis of whenever they tried to go out quietly at home. Louis loved Harry finally being a bit anonymous and it lowered their inhibitions somewhat.

Harry was  enjoying the rich Italian wine that accompanied their meal, and by the time they’d eaten three courses, they’d devoured nearly two expensive bottles of red, and were rather merry, laughing loudly and kissing freely as they stumbled home together, the weather too nice to resist walking home in. It was a quiet walk, thankfully, and they stopped frequently to kiss and touch, pushing each other against brick walls, lips slick and hands free as they kissed deeply, gasping when they pulled apart.

They hurried home, stumbling up the driveway in a drunken haze, and Harry grabbed Louis around the ass, hoisting him up and pressing him into the wall as he sucked at his neck, loving how responsive and vocal Louis was being tonight. Harry licked over the mark, and stared at Louis, both sets of eyes dark with want and lust.

“Wanna fuck you, Lou, please, can I?”

Louis groaned and threw his head back, moaning as it collided with the wall before he nodded, rubbing at the sore spot for a second. “Shit, yeah, want it so much-”

Harry let him down and they sprinted upstairs together, slamming into the bedroom. Harry shoved Louis onto the bed, his husband bouncing as he landed on the sprung surface, and he ground their crotches together, both too turned on to be embarrassed by how much they wanted each other. Yesterday, they’d gone no further than blowjobs and touching, and now, Harry just wanted to bury himself inside of his husband and stay there forever.

Harry stood up and yanked the doors to the balcony open, the drapes blowing lightly in the breeze as Harry watched Louis getting himself out of his clothes, throwing them haphazardly onto the floor until he was naked, hard cock in his fist as he watched Harry. Harry’s eyes were dark, and his memory ran back to just a few hours ago, his body shuddering at the memory of his discovery.

_Harry was laid out on the bed in his boxers, waiting for Louis to finish up in the shower so he could take his turn. They’d decided not to shower together as they knew how it would end up, and they were both determined to have sex later and make it as special as they could._

_“Love? Can you grab me my boxers, and a razor from my bag please?” Louis called, his voice echoing easily down the tiled hallway. Harry laughed to himself and set down his phone, closing down his message thread with his mum before he got up and went over to Louis’ bag, still not empty despite Harry’s nagging Louis to put his things into his drawers. He fumbled around between the layers of clothes but paused when his fingers ran against something cold and metallic._

_He swallowed and rifled around, grabbing the item and tugging it out, eyes dark when he realised what Louis had bought with him. Harry chuckled to himself at his dirty-minded husband and buried them back inside, making sure Louis wouldn’t know he’d discovered the item before tonight. He grabbed the requested underwear and razor, knocking on the door before he entered, a smirk on his lips as he made small conversation with Louis, his husband oblivious to Harry’s later intentions._

“Come out here, Lou,” he called, and he laced their fingers as they walked onto the balcony together, admiring the beautiful view. The moon was shining bright in the sky and Harry traced down Louis’ forearm, pressing down slightly on the moon and stars tattoo Louis had had done for his husband and son ages ago now. Louis smiled slightly at the pressure, realising what Harry was signalling.  “Still can’t believe you marked your body for me with this,” he rumbled, tracing back and forth over the skin.

“Always knew we were gonna be together forever,” Louis whispered back, stepping closer, his body pushing up against Harry’s now. The cold metal of a chair leg dug into his side and he moved away from it, pulling Harry with him. He frowned as Harry stood away from him, smirking down at his husband, eyes hazy with lust and something else Louis couldn’t quite place. “Babe?”

“Wait here,” Harry said through a smirk, disappearing back into the bedroom, flicking off the light. He rummaged around in Louis’ bag and picked out the thing he’d spotted earlier, tucking it into the back pocket of his jeans, making sure it made no sound before he stepped out again, admiring his husband bathed in moonlight. Louis looked stunning, and Harry’s heart was racing in his chest, eager to be with Louis again in the most intimate of ways a man could be with his husband. “Come over here, Lou.”

Louis obliged, and followed Harry, leaning up against the study balcony rail. Harry came up behind him and bracketed Louis, his long legs either side of Louis’ shorter ones, hands resting on his hips, chest against his back. It was comfortable, somehow, and Louis leaned his head back, staring out over the view, supported entirely by his husband. “This place is stunning. I’d love to come back sometime. Feels a bit like the honeymoon we never got to have.”

“We will, someday,” Harry mused, tickling his hands up and down Louis’ bare sides now, feeling his husband shudder under his touch. “When were you going to tell me about what you’d packed then, hmm?” He leaned in and bit gently at Louis’ neck, licking over it as Louis moaned, chasing more before Harry pulled away, tugging gently at Louis’ hair until he looked at him. “So?”

“What? What are you on about, babe?” Louis asked, confused and still too drunk to really focus on what Harry meant. He gripped tighter on the rail in front of him, losing himself in the pleasure Harry was giving him, sucking up and down his neck, grinding his erection roughly into Louis’ ass. “Fuck, Haz…”

“Soon,” Harry mused, and quietly slipped the thing out of his back pocket, keeping Louis distracted as he kissed his neck, teasing across the back of it too, enjoying Louis’ sensitivity. He carefully opened one of the objects, sliding it around the rail of the balcony before he carefully jostled the other in his hands, opening it and quickly clicking it into place around Louis’ wrist, his husband gasping and looking down.

“Fuck- oh god..” Louis tugged at the cuffs and bit his lip as he realised Harry had cuffed him to the balcony rail, unable to move now and completely at Harry’s mercy. “Shit… Harry, what are you-”

“Whatever I want,” Harry smirked, and quickly licked up the entirety of Louis' spine, making his husband shudder and whimper, unable to escape Harry's touch. Luckily, the road was quiet enough that Louis probably wouldn’t be spotted, but the idea that someone could spot Harry fucking his husband like this was doing it for him in his drunken state. Harry paused for a moment, clarity ringing through his mind for a moment, wanting to make sure Louis was okay with this. “Baby, is this okay? You can say no, I won’t be upset-”

“No, it’s good, it’s really fucking good,” Louis rasped out, voice heady with desire by now. Louis was looking back over his shoulder, and Harry walked around him, quickly unlocking one of the cuffs before he threaded it around the rail and fastened it around Louis’ other wrist, now fully unable to move. “Oh god, are you gonna fuck me here like this?”

“Hell yes,” Harry mumbled, running back into the room and returning with the lube. He dropped to his knees behind Louis, a familiar position it seemed lately for him, and he kissed up the back of Louis’ thighs, enjoying how his firm muscles quaked from the touch of his lips. “So good… can I eat you out, baby? Wanna taste you, been so long-”

Louis could only whimper in reply, but soon got louder when Harry set his big hands on Louis’ cheeks, parting them gently, staring at Louis’ most intimate place, the one reserved only for him, forever. Harry licked his lips in anticipation and kissed each cheek reverently before he dove in, not holding anything back. Louis practically wailed as Harry’s tongue worked over his entrance, kitten licking and teasing everywhere, tasting every bit of his husband that was laid out bare for him.

One of Harry’s hands came around and cupped Louis’ balls, rolling them gently, loving the weight of them in his hand, and how Louis’ legs were quivering with the exertion of keeping himself upright. “Taste so good, baby, could eat you out all day-” Harry murmured, pointing his tongue and pressing it until it slipped past Louis’ tight muscle, delving ever so slightly inside.

“Fuck! Oh god, Harry, I-” Louis was forcing his hips backwards now, almost riding Harry’s face with how desperately he was seeking something more from his husband. Harry didn't let up, reaching up to stroke Louis’ hard and dripping cock in time with each lick or movement of his tongue, wishing he never had to be anywhere but where he was right now. “Haz, I’m gonna come, want- ah, shit! Want you inside, please fuck me, please-”

Louis was begging now, and that turned Harry on more than anything. He kept going for a few more minutes, loving how on edge Louis was but he reluctantly pulled away, wanting Louis to come from just his cock, not his tongue. He quickly shimmied out of his own jeans, the sight a bit of a state thanks to too many glasses of wine, but his erection didn't flag at all, too eager to get inside his husband’s body.

Harry lubed up quickly, teasing the head around Louis’ red and slick rim, knowing how much Louis was craving him inside by now. Harry put his hands around Louis’ smaller ones, smirking at how hard Louis gripped them as he pushed forwards, the tip of his cock just about penetrating Louis now. He didn't move, instead, he let Louis push back, enveloping Harry’s cock with his warm heat so quickly, both of them cried out in utter pleasure and relief at getting what they so badly wanted. Harry kept his hips still for a moment and let Louis work himself back and forth, getting used to the stretch, given Harry hadn’t used his fingers, only his tongue to open him up. Harry knew from Louis’ deep breaths it was a lot, so he stayed still, letting Louis take control for a moment. “Okay?”

“Yeah, fuck, you’re so big, missed this…” Louis whispered, head hung until his forehead was almost touching the rail. They didn't often fuck from behind, preferring to be face to face and kissing, but there was something incredibly hot about doing it this way, Harry’s husband handcuffed to the rail for him. “Oh god, Harry-” Louis moaned again as he moved his hips in circles, Harry’s cock hard and hot inside him.

“I’ve got you,” Harry reassured him, trailing his hands down Louis’ waist until they came to a stop at his hips, halting Louis’ gentle thrusts. Harry took over then, withdrawing until just the tip of his cock remained inside Louis, and he thrust forwards hard, Louis crying out as Harry’s hips met his ass, the pair deeply connected again. Harry repeated that several times, Louis moaning louder each time, completely debauched and surrendering to Harry.

“More, harder, please-” Louis begged and Harry nodded, wanting to give Louis whatever it was he needed. He set a punishing rhythm then, pounding into Louis, his hard cocking ramming repeatedly into his husband. Louis felt sublime around him, warm and pliant, begging Harry for more, over and over. Harry ignored Louis’ throbbing cock, gripping hard at his hips, certain that there would be fingertip shaped bruises there the next morning he would enjoy kissing better.

As he felt his orgasm near, Harry tilted back far enough that he could see his cock disappear inside his husband’s body, the sight almost too much to bear. He watched as Louis’ body accepted his length over and over, stretching around him, driving them both closer to the edge with each thrust from Harry. Louis was gripping wildly at the railing, panting and begging, his voice hoarse from his cries of pleasure, and Harry shuddered with the thought that he did that to Louis, he was making him feel so good.

“Gonna fill you up, want that?” Harry rasped out, wanton and dirty-mouthed by now, chasing his own release, body tingling with the need to come. Louis just whimpered and nodded, barely able to hold himself upright as Harry pounded into him, the slaps of their hips and ass meeting breaking up Louis’ whines and cries, Harry whispering filthy words into Louis’ ear. “Love that you can’t touch, just want you to come from my cock, can you do that for me?”

“Can, wanna be good,” Louis mumbled, eyes rolling back into his head, high on pleasure and Harry being inside him. “Need to come, please-” Harry nodded and sped up for his last few thrusts, changing the angle of his hips slightly so the tip of his cock was nudging Louis’ prostate. Louis let out a silent scream and his body stiffened before he slumped forwards, coming hard over the balcony in front of him. “Harry, fuck, Harry- oh….”

“Yeah, so good for me, shit, love you, Louis, I, ah!” Harry came hard then, shuddering with the sudden wetness around his cock, come spilling into Louis’ tight heat. “Fucking hell, I-” He started panting, stilling himself as his body kept releasing, aware he had to keep Louis on his feet too, not wanting Louis to suffer any pain from their position. After a few moments of catching his breath, Harry gently slid his cock out of Louis’ body, smirking as come started trickling from Louis’ body, catching it with his finger and smearing it into Louis’ skin over the love bites he’d sucked into the tanned thighs in front of him.

He grabbed the small key from the side and quickly unlocked Louis, scooping his husband up into his own shaking arms and carried him over to the bed. Louis’ eyes remained shut and Harry hovered over him, a little worried it was too much. He kissed over Louis’ face until his husband stirred, a dopey smile on his lips as he reciprocated the kiss, entirely spent and happy.

“You alright? Was that too much?” Harry asked, voice still full of concern. He looked down as Louis took his hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it softly, eyes now full of love. “Lou? I love you, talk to me, please…”

“We are so doing that again before we go home.” A wicked smile spread across Louis’ lips at that, and they both giggled together, kissing lazily, lost in their own little corner of heaven in Italy, with all that they need - each other.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More songs, more Italy, more Louis and Harry very soon, hope you enjoyed that chapter! Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)


	65. All About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis make the most of their final few days in Italy, and make a momentous decision before bidding farewell to the country, and a dear friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. First of all, I want to start by thanking everyone who is still here and reading this. I've had a bit of hate lately on Tumblr for this and my other WIP, Let Me Be Your Star, and it has knocked my confidence. A few days ago, I wanted to give up on this, and end it quickly. Then I spoke to some of my amazing friends, and they all convinced me not to. So Liz, Lena, Laura And Zoe... I can never thank you enough. They told me I write for me, and that if I want this to carry on, it can. I realised then that I still have the story I originally wanted to tell, and damn it, I'm going to. I've known where this has been going since it began, and I'll be damned if I let one or two nasty, small-minded people stop me.
> 
> But thank you for each of the amazing tweets I've been sent over the last few days, and the DMs too. I cried quite a lot reading them, you have no idea how much they meant to me, and how much they made me want to carry on. I love that you have all taken this story and my characters into your heart, and you're all still here 400,000 words and 65 chapters in. I don't usually do notes like this but I had to say it this time, because just a few days, this could all have been over. 
> 
> It's not. And after this chapter, we're getting to where I really wanted it to be. And I can't wait. To the haters... no one forced you to read it, or click through to my work. So... bye bye.
> 
> This one is for all of you, everyone who bothers to read this, leave kudos or a comment. It's all for you. Chloe. x

“Oh my god, don’t stop, I- ah!” Harry cried out as Louis’ tongue licked over him and then pushed inside one more time, pushing him over the edge at last. Harry came hard, his arms wobbling as he struggled to hold himself up, and Louis was relentless, not letting go until Harry was crying out, begging him to stop.

Louis pulled off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking at his husband who had now rolled over onto his back, an arm thrown across his eyes as he panted, coming back down from his orgasm. “Good?”

“Fucking hell,” Harry muttered, his voice low and full of lust. “Don’t know what I did to deserve that, but whatever it was, I’ll do it more.” Louis laughed at that and cosied up to Harry, propping his knee up against Harry’s bare thigh. He tilted his head back for a kiss which Harry gave easily, the early morning sunlight streaming in through the room.

“I can’t believe we only have three days left,” Louis moaned. As much as he missed their son and wanted to get home, he was enjoying the much needed break with Harry. It felt like he was finally reconnecting in all ways with his husband, and after a tumultuous few months, the privacy and time to be together in this way was desperately needed by both of them. “This has been the best thing we’ve done in a while though.”

Harry hummed his agreement, pulling Louis closer and lacing their fingers together, resting them on his firm tummy. “Definitely. You’re amazing for coming out here like this. Actually, I wondered if I could share a couple more of the songs I wrote with you today? I was thinking we could go and get a picnic from that little deli in town and go and find somewhere nice to sit. The weather’s gonna be lovely today, might as well make the most of the sunshine.”

“Sounds perfect,” Louis agreed, kissing Harry’s cheek quickly. “Um, maybe I could share a couple of things with you, too? I mean, they’re not done, but perhaps you could use them for something, another song or whatever?” As much as he felt nervous about sharing his writing with Harry, he knew his husband would be honest, and he wanted him to see what he’d written for him. Some of the lyrics he’d penned were quite sad, a few from the painful few weeks ago when he and Harry weren’t speaking, but it felt cathartic to get it out and put them together to make a song.

Harry and Louis cuddled for a little while longer, lazily kissing while a warm breeze crept into the room, trailing over their hot bodies. They discussed what they wanted to do for their last few days, and both were excited to share a final morning breakfast with Livia in a few days time. Harry had a few plans for that, and Louis agreed with all of his suggestions, sensing that Harry was closer to the woman than he could have imagined.

As their conversation came to a natural close, Louis kept his eyes out of the window, watching as the clouds drifted across the blue sky on the breeze. It was peaceful, somehow, to look out of the window and not hear cars roaring past, or the alarm clock breaking him from his peaceful sleep. He loved not having to stick to a schedule, and it had been worth taking a few days unpaid leave to come out here and fully relax with Harry. Louis was starting to feel much more himself lately, and he was confident that if he carried on on this path, things were actually going to be alright in the end. He might just get the happy ever after he wanted.

*****

“How about here?” Harry asked, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head as he peered around. They were in a small town near where Harry was staying, clearly aimed at tourists, but since it was mid-week and fairly early in the tourist season, there weren’t too many people around, affording them privacy. Louis nodded and watched as Harry flicked out the blanket he’d bought with him, smoothing it out over the grassy surface beneath them before he indicated for Louis to sit on it.

Harry smiled down at his husband, admiring the tight denim shorts that clung to his thighs, and the tanned calves that protruded from them, leading down to his ankles and bare feet, since he had just kicked off his shoes. Harry plopped himself down by Louis’ feet, picking them and laying them in his lap, stroking them softly, making Louis try to wriggle away from him, laughing at the touch.

“Stay still, you menace,” he teased, clamping down around Louis’ ankle, watching as his husband reached for his bag, pulling out both of their journals. Harry’s heart began to race now as he realised he was going to have to share his lyrics with Louis, some of them more painful than nice, but at the same time, it needed to happen, especially if Harry was going to record these and put them on his new album. “Oh, my team emailed me the other day about the album. They want to get me back in the studio about a week after we get home, feels a bit real now.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” Louis asked, pulling his cap down on his head to shield his eyes from the bright sunshine. He’d forgotten his sunglasses, and had refused to take Harry’s, promising he’d manage with his hat, although he was regretting that decision right now as he squinted at Harry across from him. “If you’ve got enough material from this holiday, then it’ll be worth getting back in there with your musicians to get this thing going. I’ve been on your Twitter and seen people have been asking when the new album is coming.”

Harry sighed, knowing it had been pretty much a year since the last album, and that his fans were clamouring for more. “Yeah, I know. I just hate the pressure. I wish I didn't have this shitty schedule to stick to, that I could put it out when it’s right. But anyway, do you want to go first, or shall I?”

“Up to you. I don’t mind.” Louis regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, knowing that really, he wanted Harry to share something first. “Actually, that’s a complete lie. You go. Please?”

Harry nodded and flicked open his journal, turning until he nearly reached the back pages. His green eyes raked over his scrawls, some of it more legible than others, and wondered what to share first. “Um, alright. So this one might sound a bit weird given what it’s based on but let me explain, okay?” Louis nodded and Harry cleared his throat, shuffling about until he was next to Louis and could share the words he’d written. “So, you’ve heard of Stockholm Syndrome, right?”

“Where someone whose been kidnapped falls for their captor, right?” Louis replied, and Harry nodded, pleased his husband knew that much. “Oh christ, Haz…”

“No, it’s not bad. It’s just… it’s a weird kinda love song, I guess? Cos you’ve sort of stolen my heart, and you’re holding me hostage because I love you so much and can’t bear to let you go?” Harry suddenly felt unsure but when he saw the grin on Louis’ face, he relaxed, pleased Louis seemed happy with the idea of it. “So, yeah, I got a little bit written down but I think this is going to be a fairly uptempo one. Could be kind of fun if we do it right?”

“Let me see then.” Louis tugged impatiently until the book was in his lap and began to read the words out loud, _Stockholm Syndrome_ written messily across the top of the page.

 _“Who’s that shadow holding me hostage?_  
_I’ve been here for days_  
_Who’s this whisper telling me that I’m never gonna get away?_  
  
_I know they’ll be coming to find me soon_  
_But I feel I’m getting used to_  
_Being held by you_

_Oh_  
_Baby, look what you’ve done to me_  
_Oh_  
_Baby, look what you’ve done now_  
_Oh_  
_Baby, I’ll never leave if you keep holding me this way, oh o-oh_

_All my life I’ve been on my own_  
_I use a light to guide me home_  
_But now together we're alone_  
_And there's no other place I'd ever wanna go_

_Baby, look what you’ve done…”_

“So, what do you think?” Harry asked, biting on his fingernail nervously. There was something so intimate about sharing his work with Louis like this, laying himself bare to criticism and critique from the one person he was trying desperately to impress. “If you don’t like it, we can change it up a bit, maybe change the title or-”

“No. I love it, honestly. I mean, it needs another verse and maybe a bit more on the chorus but the idea of it is great, babe. I wish I could write like this, I really do.” He watched as Louis’ eyes dropped to his book, almost eyeing his own work critically. Louis flicked back and forth a few pages until he settled on something, sighing heavily for a moment. Harry took his own journal back and placed a hand on Louis’ knee, wanting to comfort him and tell him it was okay, that he wasn’t going to judge or make Louis feel like what he’d done was worthless. “Right. I can’t read out my own stuff. But, um, I…” His voice shook, and Harry waited patiently, knowing he couldn’t rush Louis, not when he was finally opening up again.

“Look. I wrote this, well, I started it when we were fighting. I used to wake up in the middle of the night, and I didn't feel I could hug you because we weren’t talking. So I used to go downstairs and torture myself with our family photos, thinking it was all over, that I’d thrown it away. And, um, sometimes I wrote down how I felt. I played around with the words the other day and, well. You read it. If it’s shit, please tell me, and there’s no pressure on you using it at all. I just… maybe it’ll tell you something about how I felt.”

Harry swallowed, suddenly nervous to read what Louis had written at such a low point in their relationship. He decided there and then to share a song he’d written reflecting on that time in a minute, but first, he had to get through this. He took Louis’ black notebook from his hand and let his eyes drop to his husband’s familiar handwriting, glancing over the crossings out and notes etched in the margin.

 _“We've been in fire_  
_Went down in the flames_  
_We sailed the ocean_  
_And drowned in the waves_  
_Built a cathedral_  
_But we never prayed_  
_We had it all, yeah_ _  
And we walked away_

 _Point of no return and now_  
_It's just too late to turn around_  
_I try to forgive you_  
_But I struggle 'cause I don't know how_  
_We built it up so high and now I'm fallin'_  
_It's a long way down_ _  
It's a long way down, from here_

 _We had a mountain_  
_But took it for granted_  
_We had a spaceship_  
_But we couldn't land it_  
_We found an island_  
_But we got stranded_  
_We had it all_ _  
Who could've planned it?”_

As Harry finished reading, he placed the book on the rug in front of him and took Louis’ hand, squeezing gently. He had a big lump in his throat that he was willing to go away, but at the same time, he knew Louis would appreciate a show of emotion, an understanding of what he’d written. “Shit, Lou, I… wow. I mean, I hate that you wrote this because of us, because we were fighting. But at the same time.. It’s beautiful. The imagery you use, and the tone of everything… the regret, the wistfulness, the pain. It’s raw, love. And it tells a story, because we made it through all of that.”

“We did,” Louis whispered in reply, kissing Harry's lips softly. “Sometimes, I know I don’t always want to talk, and I’m trying to get better at that, I am. But writing it down like this, it helps me. I know it’s painful, and it makes me feel a bit sick to think back to that, because we’ve come so far but I kind of like acknowledging what we went through, you know?”

Harry nodded, knowing exactly how Louis felt. “I did the same, babe. It was one of the first ones I wrote out here, actually. It kind of felt like before I could move onto something happier, I had to get this out.” Louis reached up and touched Harry’s cheek then, and the younger man nuzzled into it, appreciating how tactile they were with each other, smiling gently at a passing elderly couple who sent them a fond look. Harry reached out and sipped at a cool bottle of water from his rucksack before he flicked to the page in his book. “Okay, I called this one Two Ghosts. I’m sorry if it’s sad, but, well…”

“May I?” Louis asked, holding out his hand for the journal which Harry quickly laid on his palms. Louis read the words, tears quickly brimming in his eyes as he applied them to how they both felt just a few weeks ago, when things had fallen apart for the pair of them. As usual, Harry had hit the nail on the head with his words, and Harry’s heart ached to watch Louis react so viscerally to them, tears soon tumbling down his cheeks, his brow creased in what Harry could only assume was pain. “God… these lines… _We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat._ That hurts, love. That I made you feel like that. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“Hey, come on, no apologies now,  it’s in the past. We got through it together, and look at us now. We’re good. We’re more than good, actually. I told you, Lou, I had to get it out but now you know about that one, let me share the song I just finished yesterday.”

“Yesterday? When did you have time for that yesterday?”

“When you dozed off on the lounger on the patio. You assumed I fell asleep too but I finished this one. It’s soppy as hell but if anyone deserves a love song dedicated to them-”

“Or several,” Louis teased, aware Harry had written more than one declaration of love for him that he’d put to music.

“Or several,” Harry continued, agreeing with his husband. “Well, it’s you. And I kept the title pretty simple too. Have a look.”

“ _I Want To Write You A Song?_ Really?” Louis chuckled and mouthed silently as he read the words, Harry watching intently. He’d worked out a melody for this one already using a pretty rubbish app on his phone but in the absence of his guitar, he’d made the best of what he had. As he noticed Louis was getting close to the end of the song, he put his hand on the page, obscuring the words as he began to sing softly, just loud enough for only Louis to hear.

 _“Everything I need I get from you_ _  
_ _Givin' back is all I wanna do_

_I want to write you a song_  
_One to make your heart remember me_  
_So any time I'm gone_  
_You can listen to my voice and sing along  
_ _I want to write you a song.“_

As he finished, Louis climbed over into his lap and pulled Harry down into a kiss, their lips moving softly against each others as they tried to show their love, and Louis thanked Harry wordlessly for what he’d written for him.

“That’s my favourite thing you’ve ever written me,” he whispered, pecking Harry’s soft pink lips again. “I don’t deserve you. You’re the best husband I could ever have wished for, do you know that?”

“Well, that’s pretty lucky because you’re the best thing I ever could have wished for, too,” Harry mumbled back as they kissed lazily again, not caring about the fact they were in public and anyone could see. They kept close for a few minutes, only parting when Louis’ tummy gurgled hungrily, both pulling back with a laugh. “Hungry, love?”

“Just a bit,” Louis replied, and they delved into their bags, grabbing the fresh sandwiches and salads they’d bought earlier on during their walk into the small Italian town. They’d loved wandering about, hands held between them as they looked in the little avenues of shops selling everything from jewellery to music, clothes to books, and even Italian leather goods. They hadn’t bought anything, though, except a couple of souvenirs for Jacob, and their lunches.

They chatted as they ate, talking through a few more songs that Harry had written, and even messed about with a couple more ideas, intent on working them through later. Harry was really missing his guitar and cursing the fact he hadn’t bought his instrument with him, but at that moment, the lyrics were the focus point for everything he was doing. While he didn't quite have enough for a full album, he was more than two-thirds of the way there, and he felt like he’d accomplished quite a lot since he’d set foot in Italy just over ten days ago.

Hours later, with the afternoon sun cooling down, they gathered up their things, and Harry looked coyly at his husband, wondering if he could vocalise something he’d been planning on doing ever since he arrived, something he’d wanted to do for Louis for a while now. He flicked through his phone while Louis took their bag of rubbish over to a nearby bin, and pulled up the image he’d had in mind, leaving it on his display to show his husband.

“Um, Lou? I was wondering if we could do something while we’re out here. I mean, you don’t have to do anything but there was something I wanted to do while I’m out here, for you-”

“Babe, will you stop talking in riddles and tell me what you’re going on about.” Louis grinned as they folded up the blanket and Harry tucked it back into his rucksack, making sure they had everything before they held hands and walked off. To Louis’ surprise, Harry tugged them back in the direction of the town and the small shop he’d seen on his first visit into town all those days ago. “Haz, where are we going?”

“I wanted to get something for you. I haven’t done it for a while but I want to now. I want to get another tattoo, and I know what I want.”

“Then I want one too,” Louis suddenly declaring, stopping Harry in his tracks. “And before you say it, I’ve been thinking about this too. We’ve been through a lot, and I want something on me to show we’ve come through it together, and we’re still strong. So if you don’t mind, I might join you. We doing it now?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed, more excited now he knew Louis wanted to join him in getting inked for each other yet again. Harry loved getting tattoos anyway, but he loved even more when they were for his boys. He already had his engagement tattoo on his wrist, Jacob’s name on his arm, and Louis’ initials on his ring finger under his wedding band, but in his opinion, he could never have too many reminders of his boys on his body.

They hurried down the small cobble streets and stopped outside the small tattoo parlour. It didn't look like any they’d visited at home but Harry led the way inside, stopping at the reception desk, waiting for the tattoo artist to come and speak to them.

“ _Inglise?”_ Harry asked, hoping the man spoke English, otherwise this would be trickier than he hoped.

“Yes, but not _perfetto,_ ” the man replied, clearing his throat as he did so. “Um, I help you?”

“I hope so,” Harry began, watching Louis flick through several books behind him, trying to find something for the pair to get. “My husband and I want to get some tattoos, today if possible.”

“You know what you like?”

“I do, but my husband needs to find something.” The man nodded and disappeared for a moment.

“Babe, did you have something in mind already? Cos I think I found something that might be quite nice, a couples tattoo again, like our engagement one.” Harry went over to Louis and sat beside on the threadbare sofa, looking down at the picture Louis had chosen. “I mean, I kind of like this one, down my forearm, and maybe you could get the other one? I like how they’re twisted together, but we could get them separately, like a part of the whole thing on each other.

“I love it, but I want this one,” Harry said, and Louis easily agreed, having picked the other half of it for himself anyway. “Can I go first?” Louis nodded and they stood up together Harry clutching the book as they stood at the desk, waiting once more. It didn't take long for the man to come back, and they followed him into a small room. Harry sat down on the black chair, and the tattoo artist, who introduced himself as Matteo, dragged over a small stool for Louis to sit at, the pair quickly linking hands as they explained what they wanted.

“You sure about this?” Louis asked and Harry nodded, watching as Matteo cleaned his arm and began sketching behind them. “You don’t have to have it because I picked it-”

“No, Lou, that’s precisely why I love it. It meant something to you because you chose it, and I love that we’ll have two halves of the same thing. It’s perfect, and I want it, with you.”

The tattoos didn't take long, once the artist had sketched them and traced them onto their skin. Harry went first and sat quietly as he was inked, holding tightly onto Louis’ hand as the needle plunged in and out of his skin, leaving the artwork behind, nestled underneath Jacob’s name. They switched once his design was complete, and Louis sat in the chair then, watching as his tattoo was put onto his skin in the same place Harry’s was, but on his own left arm. They left a few hours later, hundreds of euros lighter but with forearms wrapped in protective plastic, yet more outward displays of their love to share with the world and each other.

When they were finally back at the house, Harry peeled off his top and shoved a pizza into the oven that they’d bought on their way home. He watched as Louis peeled back the wrap of his arm, admiring his tattoo in the soft light of the patio area.

“It’s beautiful,” Harry mused, coming to stand behind his husband, hands on Louis’ slender hips. “I love that we did that so spontaneously. I’m sure people will have something to say about us getting more ink, but it’s perfect, Lou. You’re perfect.”

“I love you,” Louis whispered, turning around in Harry’s arms and going up onto his tiptoes to kiss him softly. “When they’re not so red, we could take a picture and share them with the world, yeah?”

“I’d love to,” Harry grinned back, and pecked Louis’ lips again. “But for now, beer and pizza on the patio?”

“Sounds like heaven,” Louis replied, and right then and there, Harry realised heaven was exactly where he was.

*****

“You being a good boy?” Harry asked into the phone screen, where he and Louis were tangled up in bed together, speaking to their son. His heart ached with how much he wanted to hold his son in his arms, but he knew it was only a couple more days until he went home and could do just that.

“I am! I’m always good,” Jacob pouted, and Louis could hear his mum laugh along in the background. “When are you coming home? I miss you, Dad.”

“Soon, love, but-”

“Oi, what about me?” Louis moaned, and both Jacob and Harry giggled at his indignant expression, Jacob looking slightly worried he’d upset Louis now. Louis laughed it off though, and Jacob sent back a grin identical to Louis’, the pair grinning at each other from miles away thanks to the power of technology. “So what have you been up to?”

“I’ve been to school, and tomorrow Nanny is taking me to the sweet shop because I’ve been helping with her chores every day and she is- what’s that?” Jacob suddenly stopped and pointed at the screen, a curious expression on his face. Louis looked down at himself, wondering if he’d got a love bite or mark on his skin from Harry but saw nothing.

“What’s what?”

“That on your arm, it looks like the clingfilm Dad puts on my sandwich in my lunchbox.” Harry’s eyes widened as he peered at Louis over the camera, and they realised they’d been caught out over their new tattoos already. “Is that-” Jacob gasped and pointed again. “NANNY! DADDY GOT MORE PICTURES ON HIMSELF WITH DAD!”

Harry groaned as he heard Anne reply, and then she appeared on the screen, looking at both Louis and Harry with what Harry called her ‘mum gaze’. “What’s this? You two have got more tattoos?”

“Um, kind of…” Harry replied, wanting to remind her that he is actually an adult and can do whatever he pleases with his body. “Lou and I got something together, for us. Do you want to see?”

“Go on then,” Anne said, and Jacob nodded eagerly, sat in her lap now. Harry and Louis moved their bodies so they could try and line up their forearms together, Harry holding the camera out at a bit of an awkward angle until Louis told him he could see both tattoos clearly. “Oh! Oh darlings, I love them. I think they look really good, and they suit you. Although don’t you think maybe you’ve got enough?”

“Never,” Harry said with a wicked grin, laughing along with Louis. “These were important to us, like a reminder of our love and marriage, that we can get through anything together.” He blushed slightly at the soppy declaration but let Louis snuggle up closer to him, both smiling softly at the camera now. Jacob let out a big yawn then, and Harry and Louis took that a cue to let Anne get their son to bed. “You walked Percy today, love?”

“Yep, and he did a really big wee on the flowerbed. It went on for ages!” They all laughed again at that and finally bade each other goodnight, blowing kisses until Jacob got a bit tearful and Louis hurried to end the call, not wanting to string it out much longer.

“Do you want to go for a swim, babe?” Harry nodded and they got out of bed, pulling off their boxers and slipping into trunks, heading downstairs to the small but beautifully heated pool in the garden of the villa. Harry dived into the water first, barely making a splash and came up slowly, pushing his hair back from his face as he smiled up at his husband.

“Come in, Lou, it’s really- OH YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Louis had taken advantage of Harry’s guard being down and had run at the water, cannonballing in like a child, water going everywhere as he hit the water with force. He sprang up and spat out a bit of water, laughing at Harry’s indignant expression as he swam back to Louis, trying to dunk him again. “You are such a child, Louis Tomlinson, get your arse here!”

“Never!” Louis cried, and swam away as fast as he could, cutting through the water with strong, sure strokes. They played around in the water for a while, splashing and dunking each other until they got tired, and Harry started to cling to the side, bobbing up and down in the Louis-made waves within the pool. Louis hovered near him, splayed out on his back, sculling the water with the palms of his hands, staring up at the black night sky, stars twinkling trillions of miles away. “It’s so beautiful out here. I love how we can see the stars. Makes me feel part of something bigger, you know?”

“Mm,” Harry agreed, and extended a hand out, reaching for his husband. “Come here, Lou, I want a cuddle.” Louis carefully righted himself and gently kicked his way over, settling on the floor between Harry’s thigh, his husband holding him around the waist as their bodies brushed back and forth. “So nice to have you like this. So peaceful. I love you. I know I’ve said it enough but thank you, for coming out here and doing this for us.”

“And I’ve said it enough too, but you’re welcome. I think we needed this… a bit of time to reconnect and just be us again.” He pushed forwards on the balls of his feet and grabbed the waistband of Harry’s trunks, tethering them together as he pressed their wet lips together. It wasn’t dirty or passionate - it was a kiss of love, just right for the tender moment they were sharing, and Louis hummed in contentment as Harry’s tongue gently brushed against his own, the water lapping gently around them.

As Louis pulled away, he realised it was now or never to talk about the subject he’d been holding back on since he’d arrived. His last counselling session with Katie had spurred him on to want to bring it up with Harry, and despite the nerves he was feeling, he knew this was the right thing to do, for his sanity anyway. “Harry, can we talk about something?”

“Anything you like,” Harry purred, nuzzling into Louis’ neck but he frowned when Louis pulled away, looking quite serious. “Sorry, of course we can, my love. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… I’ve had something on my mind, and I need to tell you now before I bottle out.” He pushed back slightly, resting his feet on the top of Harry’s under the water, shivering slightly as a cool breeze trailed over his wet shoulders. He took in a deep breath and released it slowly, steeling himself for Harry’s reaction. “Harry, I want to talk about us having a baby. I know we talked about it a while ago, but I need to… I have to know if you still want it.”

Harry’s face clouded over then, and Louis suddenly like he was going to be sick. He almost didn't want to hear what Harry had to say about it, but stayed put, knowing he couldn’t run away this time, not again. “Louis, let’s not do this here. Can we go inside?” Louis nodded and watched as Harry pushed himself up using his large biceps, and helped Louis out as well, wrapping towels around their waists as they crept inside, trying not to drip on the tiled floor. They stripped off their wet trunks in the kitchen, leaving them in the sink as they headed upstairs, straight for the bathroom.

Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled him into a warm shower, washing quickly before they stepped back out and into bed, naked under the covers, sitting facing each other. The tension between them was there, they could both feel it and Louis just wanted Harry to put him out of his misery and let him close the door on the possibility of becoming a father again once and for all.

“Harry, please just be honest. If it isn’t what you want, then just tell me, I’ll deal with and I’ll-”

“What? You think I don’t want a baby with you, Louis? I- how? Why would you think that?”

“Just- I dunno.” Louis’ shoulders sagged then, struggling to verbalise how it was he was feeling. “Like… I let you down. I nearly broke our marriage, our family, Haz. And I understand if you don’t think I’m the person you want to do this with now, not after everything you’ve seen-”

“Louis, I can’t believe you’re being serious right now. Everything I’ve seen of you is precisely the reason why I want babies with you. Babies, Louis, more than one. I want to grow our family together, to have lots of kids running around, both yours and mine, that we raise in our home, with our love, in our family. Fucking hell, you’re everything I want - in a husband, in a best friend, and in a father. The way you are with Jacob tells me everything I would ever need to know about the kind of dad you are, and you’re exactly what I want in the father for my children. Don’t you ever think you aren’t good enough.”

Louis’ eyes filled with tears at Harry’s honest words, and finally hearing the confirmation he’d been seeking for weeks now - that Harry wanted a baby with him as much as he wanted it too. “I- really? You really want this?” He was choked up now, and tried to hide his face, but Harry wouldn’t let him, making their eyes meet as he put two fingers under Louis’ chin and tilted it up.

“Louis, why do you think I don’t? What have I said or done to make you think that?”

Louis just shrugged, unable to put his finger on it. Realistically, he knew this all came back to his own insecurities, and hated himself for once again putting a dampener on something that should be exciting to the pair of them. He realised he had to be honest, and looked directly at Harry. “I didn't feel like I was good enough. That because of before, you wouldn’t think I was good enough to help you raise your baby. But… I want it Harry, so much. I want you to experience everything I did with Jacob… watching your son or daughter come into the world, holding them for the first time, their first cry, smile. You deserve that more than anyone, and I just want to be able to give that to you.”

“Lou…” Harry had glassy eyes too now, and both men were clearly emotional. “I’ve wanted a child with you since we got married. Well, before that, actually. I knew when we started dating you were the one for me. That Jacob was going to be my son, that you’d be my forever, and father to whatever children we had, whether that was just Jacob or others as well. So in answer to what you said earlier… I want it. So much. I want babies, little Louis’ and Harry’s running around, driving up mad, giving us sleepless nights… completing our family.”

“Soon?” Louis managed to get out, holding back his sobs now, emotional from hearing Harry tell him how much he wanted a baby too. “I don’t want to wait, I’m getting old-”

They both laughed through their tears and Harry pulled Louis forward, their chests colliding as they hugged tightly. “Yeah, really soon. Let’s look into it when we’re home, yeah? Don’t wanna be going to school with you on your zimmer frame-”

“Oi! Cheeky git,” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s cheeks and kissing him roughly. “I love you. So much. You just… you make it all okay, you know that? Everything’s right because of you.”

“We’re gonna have a baby, Lou. And… you still want to use my…um, _stuff?_ ”

“Stuff? What are we, ten years old? Come. Sperm. Jizz.” Harry was cackling now, cheeks bright red as he shook his head at Louis’ antics, things quickly going back to normal between them. “Say it, Harold…”

“Alright, jeez, Lou. You want to use my sperm, make it my biological baby?”

“Yeah. Oh god, imagine a little girl with your curls, and your dimples. She’s gonna have us wrapped around her little finger.”

“You want a baby girl?” Harry’s cheeks were rosy now, a smile of pure delight on his face as his mind drifted into the future, imagining cradling a daughter in his arms.

“Well… yeah. I mean, I don’t care really. I’d love whatever we have, I would. But I’d love a daughter who looked just like you, a little sister for Jake to look after and protect.”

“Maybe after that one, we could use both of our sperm and have a third child, not worry about whose baby they are? Wouldn’t matter then, would it?”

“Hang on, let’s get our second kid underway first, shall we?” Louis chuckled, pleased to see Harry was more than enthusiastic about the whole thing. “Dirty nappies and sleepless nights might put you off, love. You never know.”

“It won’t,” Harry said with a big smile. “No way. This is what I’ve always fucking wanted, Louis. Shit, I wanna go home right now and get going with this. Fuck the album and everything else, let’s get baby making.” He watched as Louis shuddered at the thought, raising his eyebrows at Louis’ reaction. “Um… what was that?”

“What?” Louis said, pulling himself off the bed. “Uh, nothing. I’m hungry. Shall we go get some food? Think I saw some leftover pasta in the fridge earlier, I’ll heat it up.”

The next few hours passed by quickly, although Louis was quite squirmy, not sitting still in Harry’s lap as they listened to some music, working on something together that they thought would be quite special if they could pull it off. They stayed in their boxers, the warm Italian evening enough to keep them from needing any more layers. Louis kept running his fingers over the sensitive raised skin on Harry’s new tattoo, enjoying how it felt under his fingertips.

“Stay here,” Louis ordered all of a sudden, and disappeared from Harry’s lap, taking the stairs two at a time. He rifled around in his bag that he’d stuffed at the back of the wardrobe for a few minutes, pulling out a bag he’d bought on a whim at duty free, realising now was the right time to give it to Harry and have some fun. “Um, babe, can you come up here please?” Louis listened out and could hear Harry muting the TV before his heavy footsteps thundered up the stairs, the taller frame of his husband soon leaning against the doorframe to their bedroom.

“What’s that?” Harry asked, nodding his head towards the bag in Louis’ hands. Louis smiled and beckoned him over with the crook of one finger and held it out for Harry to take, holding it together at the top so he couldn’t look in. “Louis…”

“Harry….” Louis replied back, smirking at how on edge Harry suddenly was. “I got this for you in the airport on the way out here. I got a few looks, I will admit. But… yeah. Thought we could have some fun, after what you said earlier.”

“What did I say?” Harry asked as he peeled off the sticker holding the bag closed, and gently reached inside, stilling when his fingers brushed against the object inside. “Oh god, Louis…” he breathed out, eyes growing dark as he pulled out the gift, looking up at Louis from under his eyelashes before dragging his eyes back down to the present now nestled in his hand.

“You said about us getting on with the baby making.” Louis paused for a minute, his cock thickening in his boxers as he let his words sink in, Harry’s eyes widening as he realised what it was Louis was hinting at. “So… you wanna try? To make a baby?”

Harry swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, gaze drop to the underwear Louis had bought for him, now more eager than ever to get them on. “You… you wanna get me pregnant, Lou?” He whispered, and Louis nodded, closing Harry’s fingers around the present, nudging him back towards the small en suite. “Fuck-”

“This okay?” Louis whispered, and Harry just nodded, slipping inside the room and closing the door behind him. Louis turned the covers on the bed back, opening the doors to the balcony to let some air in, the room quite stuffy already. He put the lube on the bed, and grabbed the matches he’d bought up the other day, lighting the candles Harry had dotted on the various surfaces when he’d arrived to make it smell more like home. Everything was perfect. All he needed now was his husband.

Louis sat in the middle of the bed, palming himself, mind racing with thoughts of what he and Harry were about to do when the door cracked open slightly, Harry’s face peering out at Louis. “Come out, let me see you, baby.” Harry nodded and shyly pulled the door open all the way, exposing his lean body to Louis. He tried hard to keep himself under control, his eyes raking all over Harry’s body but he was reacting to what he could see, and boy, was it good.

Harry’s hips and crotch were wrapped in soft lavender silk, the lacy waistband laying against his pale skin, his hard cock barely concealed by the delicate fabric. Harry stepped closer, his cheeks pink and eyes dark as he reached for Louis, needing a grounding touch now, to make him feel tethered to this situation. It wasn’t something they’d explored before, but Louis was now wondering why the hell they hadn’t. Louis reached out and dragged his fingers down Harry’s hard length over the silk, hearing a gasp slip from Harry’s lips as his hot fingers pressed down slightly, goosebumps erupting on Harry’s tummy and thighs.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful, love,” Louis whispered, leaning up to kiss Harry’s lips gently, his hands laying down on Harry’s flat belly. “Would love to see you all full of my baby, show the world how you’re mine, what we do together…” Harry whimpered at the thought, straining in the knickers, fingers delving into the waistband of Louis’ boxers. “Gonna make you feel good, darling, that okay?”

Harry nodded and let Louis guide him onto the bed, laying flat on his back, staring up at Louis who knelt by his side. Louis leaned over and kissed across Harry’s torso, sucking the bud of a nipple into his mouth, knowing how it turned Harry on when they were played with. His other hand drifted down slowly, running through the small trail of hair leading into the knickers, and finally came to rest on Harry’s erection, cupping and caressing it gently, drawing beautiful moans out of Harry.

“Oh… Louis… please-” Harry was wide-eyed and begging, exactly how Louis loved to have him. Louis nodded and moved across to his other nipple, letting his hand slip inside the silky underwear, running down Harry’s shaft and teasing his balls gently. Harry started to buck up into the touch and Louis shook his head, pulling off Harry’s nipples with a smile. “Uh… please Lou, I need you…”

“I’ve got you, baby,” Louis muttered, the cap of the bottle of lube opening with a quiet snick. “Hands and knees for me sweetheart, wanna get you ready…” Harry blushed but complied, making to take off his knickers but Louis clamped his clean hands around his husband’s wrist, forcing him to let go of the fabric. “Leave them on, please? I’ll pull them to the side but you look so pretty in them, Haz.” Harry turned to look back at Louis, red cheeked and wide eyed, but he was utterly perfect. He nodded and dropped his gaze back to the mattress as Louis hooked his finger in the edge of the knickers, gently moving it to the side until Harry’s most intimate place was exposed to him. “So pretty everywhere, baby.”

Harry whined as Louis’ finger trailed around his hole, teasing for a few minutes until he pushed forwards. Harry’s body accepted the intrusion easily, and Harry moaned lowly, pushing his hips back into the touch, craving more. There was intent in Louis’ touch, and Harry loved it, loved how they were playing and making each other feel good. Louis loved that Harry was letting his guard down completely and so easily, bodies working together now to get to where they needed to be.

Louis worked carefully until he was three fingers deep in his husband’s, Harry’s writhing and moaning making him desperate to be inside his husband.

“You ready, love? Want to be inside you, get you all full of me and my baby-”

“Oh fuck,” was Harry's only reply as Louis slowly slid his fingers from Harry’s body, watching the way Harry’s body clenched around his digits as he did so, wanting to keep him inside. Louis shuffled around and tapped Harry’s hip, telling his husband to turn back around. Harry did, laying on his back, hair fanned out on the pillow underneath him. He looked ethereal somehow, and Louis almost teared up with the fact this beautiful man was his, and his alone, and how deeply he was still in love with him.

“Louis, my Louis…” Harry murmured as Louis lubed up his cock, pressing gently against Harry’s waiting entrance. “Oh... “ Harry’s fingers were playing with own nipples, and Louis felt like it was a sight to behold, an image he never wanted to forget. All of a sudden, his hands dropped back to the bed before reaching to grasp Louis’ thighs, eyes open, bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “Put a baby in me, Lou.”

“Shit, yeah, want to-” Louis stuttered, getting up onto his knees slightly so he could push inside, loving how Harry gasped as the tip of his cock broached Harry’s entrance. Harry opened his thighs wider and Louis pushed in further until his cock was entirely enveloped by Harry’s warmth, the pair breathing deeply as they looked at each other, entwined as closely as two men could ever be.  “Baby, you feel so good, I-” Louis fumbled for his words and when he found none, he started to move his hips, pulling back before he pushed back in deeply, feeling Harry’s arse connect with his hips.

“Louis…” Harry grabbed Louis’ shoulder, pulling him down until their sweaty chests were together, and Harry kissed him. Louis parted his lips, letting Harry take what he wanted as he moved between Harry’s legs, Harry’s hard cock grazing against his lower stomach with every thrust from Louis. “Want your baby, want you to give me that, please-”

“Alright, love, I will,” Louis replied, lacing their fingers together as he picked up his rhythm, their bodies rocking together seamlessly. Louis could feel the edge of Harry’s silky knickers rub against his cock with each thrust, and all of the sensations he was feeling were driving him wild with utter desire for his husband. “Gonna fill you up with my come and give you my baby, make your belly all full of me-”

“Fuck, yes, want it so much,” Harry whined, and the room fell silent for a few moments as they each lost themselves in their love making, panting and touching, skin on sweaty skin. It might have been kinky sex, voicing desires that they never would to anyone else but Louis could feel the love between them, the trust needed to let go and fully enjoy what they were doing, and he loved every second of it. “I love you, want everything with you, want babies…”

“Yeah, I’m gonna give you them,” Louis breathed out, thrusting harder now, Harry’s body responding with each deep movement, crying out Louis’ name. Louis lifted Harry’s thighs until they were resting on top of his own and hooked the knickers down a little more so Harry’s cock was completely exposed, hard and dripping between their bodies. Louis wrapped his fingers around his shaft as he continued to fuck into Harry’s body, more than turned on by how Harry was reacting to his touch, hips moving gently to make his cock move in and out of Louis’ fist. “Gonna come for me, love? Always look so pretty when you come for me…”

“Yeah, then want you to come in me, fill me up, Lou-” Louis nodded and tried to stroke in rhythm with his thrusts, and watched as Harry screwed his eyes shut, locked in his own pleasure. Louis tightened his grip, twisting his wrist as he reached the tip of Harry’s cock, knowing exactly how to drive his husband wild, as familiar with Harry’s body and his likes as he was his own by now. Louis’ eyes fell down to the knickers again, smirking at the damp patches where Harry’s cock had leaked against them and he had a sudden urge to taste Harry, to feel the sweet tang of him on his tongue. He released his cock, ignoring Harry’s whine.

“Hang on, don’t come, let me first…” Louis gripped Harry’s hips and thrust hard and fast into him, his orgasm burning low inside him as he chased release. Harry was open and pliant, laying there and taking whatever Louis had to give him, and it was a charged, erotic moment, teetering on the edge of being something more for the pair of them.

“Want it… put a baby in me, come on Louis…” That did it. Louis pushed his cock deep inside and could feel himself spilling, his come rushing out of him and into Harry’s waiting body, Louis’ breaths coming out as shuddery pants, moving his hips slightly as he continued to come, a small smile crossing Harry’s lips at the sensation. Louis saw Harry’s hand move out of the corner of his eye so he shook his head, clamping down on it, pressing it into the mattress with a smirk.

Gently, he pulled out of Harry’s body and watched a trickle of come slide between his cheeks, using his fingers to scoop it back up and push it inside Harry again, the younger writhing in sensitivity below him. “Don’t wanna waste it, need it all if you want my baby,” he purred, and Harry just let his legs fall back against the bed, granting Louis permission to do whatever he wanted with him. Louis then surprised Harry again by ducking his head and swallowing the wet tip of his cock between his lips, sinking down as far as he could on Harry’s length, moaning around the salty taste of his husband, the one he’d been craving.

“Oh god, Louis, I - fuck!” Harry threw an arm back across his eyes as Louis sucked him off with vigour, lips sliding up and down his wet shaft, tongue swirling around the sensitive head, catching every drop of Harry’s come that trickled out of him. His free hand was playing with Harry’s balls, and it was all too much for Harry to hold back. He came, shouting loudly, not caring who might have heard. “Oh, Louis, fuckfuckfuck, ah!”

Louis kept sucking and swallowing, trying not to let a drop of come seep out of his mouth, wanting Harry inside of him in some way. When he heard Harry whine, hurting now a little, he pulled off, kissing the shaft one more time and tucking him back inside the silk before he wriggled up the bed and collapsed on his back next to his husband. They were both trying to catch their breath but Harry quickly rolled onto his side, throwing his arm across Louis’ waist, keeping their sweaty bodies close. There were no words needed, and they remained curled up together as sleep overtook them, all each other ever needed.

*****

Harry stirred the next morning, groaning as he pulled his sweaty, sleepy body away from Louis’, trying not to wake his husband. Luckily, as Harry knew from previous experience, Louis slept like the dead and didn't stir. Harry grimaced at how sticky and gross he felt, and his eyes dipped down to the knickers still adorning his hips. He touched them gently with his fingertips, smiling at the thought of Louis walking around a lingerie shop, looking at all the knickers to decide which ones to buy for him, settling on these.

He stood and quietly slipped out of the room, walking down the corridor and into the bathroom, where he slid the knickers down his thighs and stepped into the warm shower, letting the water cascade down his body. He jumped when small hands snaked around his waist, but started to smile as Louis rested his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades, their bodies pressed together at every possible juncture.

“Let me wash your hair?” Louis whispered, and Harry nodded, passing Louis the shampoo. He sighed as Louis’ nimble fingers worked across his scalp, massaging in the shampoo before he tilted his head back to rinse, and doing the same for his husband. He loved the easy intimacy of acts like this, and part of him wished they could stay in Italy forever, could protect their love from the big, bad world and just spend life as the three of them, happy and alone.

When they were finally done, Harry turned the water off and gently stepped out, holding out a hand to balance Louis, and they wrapped fluffy towels around their waists before hugging again, needing to be close. Harry felt a little shy as he remembered back to last night, and the things he begged Louis for, and headed out, Louis trailing in his wake as they gathered their things together and laid on the bed, beginning to pack for that night’s flight home to their boy.

“You okay, love?” Louis asked, sensing tension from his husband. He settled his hands on Harry’s bare hips, the pair only in their underwear now, a cool breeze licking over their still damp skin. “Baby, talk to me-”

“Just… last night. Was it okay? What I asked for, I mean, I don’t want you to think-”

“Harry. Are you being serious? Jeez, I loved it… that was so hot, baby. And if you remember back, I pretty much started it, so if anyone’s to blame, it was me. Don’t feel bad for what you want or need, not with me. Okay?”

“I love you so much,” Harry replied, smiling and leaning down to rub their noses together. “I… I don’t think it’s something I want all the time. But I loved it last night, loved the thought of you, uh, claiming me, I guess, in that way. And… you do still want it, right? Us to have a baby?”

“More than anything,” Louis nodded, ensuring his voice sounded assertive so Harry would believe him. “I’m back at work tomorrow, and you have meetings but tomorrow night, we’ll sit together and start to look at some clinics, and how we’re going to do this, okay?”

“We’re gonna be daddies again, Lou,” Harry said with a broad smile, wrapping his arms tightly around Louis’ middle and squeezing hard, making Louis squeak. “Shit, I’m already so excited and we haven’t even done anything about it all yet.” His phone beeped with a photo from his mum of Jacob ready for school, thumbs up and grinning at the camera. “Fucking hell, I’ve missed him so much. As much as I don’t want to leave, it’s time to go home, isnt it? Get our boy back and our lives on track.”

“Yep. And we need to meet Livia in…” Louis peered over at Harry’s phone, gasping at the time. “Shit! Like half an hour, get your arse in hear and get a move on, Styles!” He busied around, yanking a t-shirt over his head as Harry tutted, pulling on a shirt and doing up a few buttons as he gently reminded Louis of his name.

“It’s Tomlinson. Always will be Tomlinson, Louis. And don’t you forget it.” He tackled Louis onto the bed then, tickling him mercilessly, Louis crying out and begging him to stop, wide smiles on their faces, hearts completely full.

 

*****

“She’s there, we’re late,” Harry moaned, arranging the present behind his back as he and Louis hurried up the slope towards cafe, both a bit breathless due to the fact they were running late. If there was one thing Harry hated, it was being late to anything. Louis held his hand a little tighter and they took a few breaths before they approached Livia, both a little emotional at the prospect of having to say a final goodbye to the older woman.

" _Buongiorno_!” Harry said, calling over to the woman who beamed over to them. Harry dropped Louis’ hand and produced the biggest bunch of flowers he’d ever seen from behind his back, hanging it over to a stunned Livia, who accepted them with a big smile. “Oh Livia, I am going to miss you.”

“ _Grazie, mille grazie_ ,” she uttered, sniffing at the beautiful blooms in her hands. She carefully laid them in the free seat next to her, walking back over to Harry and hugging him tightly. Harry’s long arms encompassed her entirely, and they muttered quiet words to each other before she walked away, turning to Louis and kissing his cheek and hugging him as well. Soon enough, they all sat down and a waiter bustled over, Livia ordering in Italian for them all.

“I no want you to go,” the old woman said softly, holding Harry’s hand across the table. There was a slightly maudlin feeling amongst the small group that morning, and as much as Harry wanted to get home, he was dreading leaving his dear friend behind. “It has so lovely to know you, Harry, and now you, Louis. You so good for each other.”

Harry and Louis turned to each other then, smiling softly, Louis’ knee resting against Harry’s under the table. They talked quietly until the waiter brought over their coffees, and Livia filled them in with what she’d been up to over the past few days. Louis and Harry then told her about their songs, how Harry was happy with the work he’d done but how he was now looking forward to getting home.

“Your boy… how old?” Livia asked, having forgotten.

“He’s nearly eight,” Louis said, chest puffed out in pride. “Next month, actually. I can’t believe it, the years have gone so fast. He’s so grown up at the moment.”

“They grow up _davanti ai tuoi occhi,_ uh, in front of your eyes,” Livia agreed, nodding along to Louis’ sentiment. “My grandchildren, they not babies anymore. Too quick. Time moves too fast, I feel too old now, miss my Vittoro for too long.” Harry’s heart ached at the woman’s words and her insinuations. He hated that she had had to live without the love of her life by her side, and he squeezed her hand gently, wanting to offer some comfort in some way.

“Well, I feel glad I met you, and had these weeks with you,” Harry said, thanking the waiter with a smile as he set his breakfast in front of him, quickly stealing a piece of toast from Louis’ plate and replacing with half of his own breakfast pastry. Livia smiled to herself at the easy gesture, and as Harry reached for a napkin, he pressed a quick kiss to Louis’ lips. “Louis and I… uh, we had a chat last night,” Harry admitted, wanting to say it aloud to someone else, to make it seem real.

“ _Si?_ ” There was a sparkle in her eyes, and Louis nodded back at her, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“We’ve decided to have another baby. When we get home, we’re going to look into it, how to find a surrogate and welcome a new baby into our family. We’re ready, at last.”

“ _Così felice_ ,“ Livia said, tears sparkling in her eyes now. “You already wonderful fathers, any baby lucky to have you, both of you.”

They ate and talked, Harry telling Livia all about his plans for the album when he got home, and Louis spoke about his job and Jacob. In turn, they listened as Livia spoke about her life in Italy and what she’d be doing once Harry and Louis left her behind. All too soon, it was time to go, and Harry felt a lump rising his throat he knew wouldn’t go away easily. Louis said his goodbyes first, not having formed the attachment to her that Harry had, but still, it was emotional watching Livia’s gnarled hands clutching Louis’ t-shirt as she held him, brushing her fingers through his hair, much as a mother would do. She brushed away her tears as Louis stepped aside, making way for Harry to speak to her.

“Thank you, for everything,” Harry said quietly, holding her hands in front of him. “You have been an amazing friend to me, and I feel so lucky that we met. _Ti amo, Livia._ ”

She started to cry too as Harry hugged her, his own tears falling down his cheeks. She let out a stream of Italian that Harry didn't stand a hope of being able to follow, but he was sure they were words of love and sadness at him having to leave. They didn't want to let go, but it was Livia who broke the hug first, wiping her own tears and then Harry’s, cupping his cheeks with her hands. “ _Ti amo, Harry, mi mancherai tanto.”_

Louis came back and held Harry’s hand, holding tightly as Livia put on her jacket and picked up her flowers, taking in a shaky breath as she sent the two men a wobbly smile. “I leave you, you go after. Make this easy on me, _si_?”

“Okay. We’ll be back, with Jake, I promise. I want you to meet him. I'm really going to miss you, Livia.”

“I miss you too, you come back soon with your Louis and your Jacob... and maybe more babies,” she replied with a smile, wiping away the final few tears. “ _Addio,_ Harry, _addio_ , Louis. I wish you both a lot of happy years together. It has been so wonderful to know you.” Harry looped his arms around Louis’ waist as they watched old woman walk slowly away from them for the last time.

As she disappeared around the corner, Harry turned and held Louis close as he cried, this chapter of his life coming to a close. Louis just held him, soft hands rubbing up and down his back as he comforted his husband, and they stood for a few minutes, composing themselves.

“You ready, love?” Louis asked, not wanting to hurry Harry but he was well aware they had to finish packing, and get to the airport in time for the flight home together. Niall was meant to be picking them up from the airport, and Louis just couldn’t wait to see his son the following morning when they went to Anne’s to see him before school.

“Yeah,” Harry sniffed, kissing Louis’ lips softly. He reached down and took his hand as they walked back towards the villa for the final time, neither of them saying very much. “I’m going to miss it here. It’s been hard being without you and Jacob, but I’ve loved having you here with me, Lou. I think you appearing at breakfast was honestly the best surprise of my life. We really needed this time, just to be together.”

“We did,” Louis agreed as Harry flung an arm around Louis’ shoulder, pulling his body close. “I just hope all that bad stuff is in the past. I mean, I know I might slip up every now and then, that I might pull away still but I want you to feel like you can call me out on it, especially if we’re going to have a baby. We need to be on the same page, we need to always be fighting for us. Our marriage is everything to me, Haz.”

“I know, and to me. I’ll never not fight for us, Louis, and there’s nothing you can say or do that will ever push me away. We’re in this forever, you and me. I’m never letting you go… I love you too much for that. I always will.” He stopped walking and looked out over the lake behind them before he faced his husband, laying his hands gently on Louis’ hips, staring down into his blue eyes, loving how they were shining in the sun, as if Louis was shining from the inside out. “You make me so happy, Louis. My life is what it is because of you, and I don’t ever want to spend another minute without you by my side. Promise me that I won’t have to, Lou.”

“I promise,” Louis whispered in reply, leaning up to kiss Harry softly, a moment all to themselves, sun beating down on their shoulders, peace and tranquility around them. “You won’t have to be without me, I promise. I love you too much for that. I love you, Harry Tomlinson.”

“My beautiful Lou,” Harry said, accepting yet another kiss from his husband, their lips meeting softly as their hands tangled, expressing their love for each other in the best way they knew how.

“My Harry… forever and always mine.” They turned together, hands linked between them as they walked off towards their future, together. And right then, that was all they ever needed. Louis had Harry, Harry had Louis. That was everything.

 

*****


	66. Meant To Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We rejoin the Tomlinson family two months after their trip to Italy. Jacob makes Harry cry, Louis struggles, and together, Harry and Louis make an important step into their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Here we are again. God, it's getting to the good bit now, and I'm really excited for what's to come for the little family I have created. Hope you like this.
> 
> Thank you for all the amazing comments you left before on the last chapter supporting me after the shitty messages I had received before. Honestly, you guys are the best and I am so happy you still love this fic as much as I do. Enjoy this one! xxx

**2 months later**

“Harry, will you put the camera down please, love?”

“No, Louis, I won’t. My son is up there singing his first solo, and I’m not going to miss it.”

“I get that. I do. But isn’t the big camera a little obnoxious?”

“No, Louis, it isn’t.” Harry turned and sent his husband a glare then, and Louis just sighed, realising he wasn’t going to win this argument. Harry grinned and faced the stage again, lining up for his first shot, determined not to miss a moment. 

Jacob had been practicing for this concert for so long now, Harry felt like he could quite happily get on stage and join in and be word perfect. Jacob had been more than thrilled when he’d run out of the classroom just after Harry and Louis had got back from Italy, screaming that he’d been given a solo verse in the choir’s Easter show, and he’d eagerly invited almost everyone he knew. Those people were now gathered in the audience in the school hall, ready to cheer on the little boy.

The lights dimmed and a hush fell amongst the audience as the head teacher made her way onto the stage, giving the usual safety talk about fire alarms and not posting on social media before the older section of the choir took to the stage performed several songs. Harry was impressed by the harmonies performed by the Year 5 and 6 children, the group tackling some traditional school hymns as well as some more modern songs that had the audience clapping along.

Now it was the turn of the Lower Key Stage 2 choir and Harry watched with excited eyes as Jacob waved shyly at them, filing on in his line, standing tall next to his best friend Tristan and another girl Harry didn't recognise. They started to sing and sway along, Harry capturing every moment on his camera, Louis looking on with pride in his eyes. Both dads applauded loudly when they finished, and the group soon launched into a cheerful song that they’d heard Jacob practise many times before.

“He’s so good, Lou, look at his big smile,” Harry whispered proudly as Louis nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing with Harry’s words. “I’m so glad he loves music.”

There was a small break before the concert continued, and Louis fetched he and Harry a small cup of tea each that the PTA were selling, sitting and making small talk with some other parents sat nearby, discussing their plans for the Easter holidays which were just about to begin. They asked Harry questions about his album that was due to be released next month but Harry kept his lips sealed, knowing his management team would kill him if anything got out before the official release. He was excited, though, and the Italy trip had certainly paid off, the album looking like it was going to packed with twelve songs, the majority of them by Louis and Harry.

The children came back onto the stage, and the entire choir sang a few group songs before the choir teacher, Mrs Miller, came onto the stage, waiting for the applause to die down before she spoke. 

“Okay, we had a full program for you, but when one of our pupils came and asked me a few weeks ago if we could sing a special song, I just couldn’t say no. The whole choir loved the idea, and they’ve been practising in their own lunchtimes, just to get this right. I’m not introducing it as I know you will all know it, so here we go.”

There was silence as someone prepared the backing track, and the soft piano notes rang through the hall, a quiet murmur going up through the audience as they realised what it was they were listening to. 

“Oh my god, no way,” Harry whispered, feeling a lump rise up in his throat, not quite believing that this was happening in front of his eyes. He watched as Jacob stepped forwards, singing clearly and loudly, the eyes of everyone in the room on him now. Jacob smiled and locked eyes with Harry as he started to sing.

_ “Just stop your crying _ __  
_ It's a sign of the times _ __  
_ Welcome to the final show _ __  
_ Hope you're wearing your best clothes _ __  
_ You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky _ __  
_ You look pretty good down here _ _  
_ __ But you ain't really good…”

The rest of the choir joined in for the next bridge and chorus, getting louder and more passionate with their singing as the song went on, mixing their young voices perfectly. As the final notes rang out, everyone in the audience rose to their feet, cheering wildly but Harry remained in his seat for a moment, Louis’ hand resting on his shoulder, comforting him as Harry cried, too emotional from the performance.

Finally, he stood up, wiping his eyes and grinning at Jacob, who was red cheeked and grinning widely, looking like a mini-Louis in his smart button down and skinny jeans. To Harry’s surprise, Jacob darted off the stage then, thundering his little feet down the steps at the front of the stage and ran at his dad, throwing himself up and into Harry’s arms, little legs wrapping around his waist, arms around his neck.

“I chose that song for you, Dad. I know it’s one of your favourites. I love you.” Jacob kissed his cheek several times before wriggling to get down onto the floor, joining his friends back up on the stage as they accepted the applause of the parents, grandparents and family friends who were watching proudly.

“Jesus, did you know about this?” Harry sniffed as the children were led back to the classrooms to collect their belongings. “Lou, seriously? Did you know?”

“No, babe, I didn't,” Louis reassured him, giving Harry a quick hug, catching his Mum’s eye across the room. “But at the same time, I’m not surprised Jake did something like this for you. He adores you and your music, you know that. He might be your son now but he’s still your biggest fan. I think he always will be.”

“God, to think, just two years ago I was up on stage in Manchester singing that with you two in the audience in front of me, and now I’m watching that same boy sing it to me with his school friends, and he’s my kid now. Life can be crazy, huh?”

“Gonna get crazier soon,” Louis replied with a soft smile on his face that Harry easily returned. They both watched as the children were let back into the main hall, and Jacob came over, hugging Louis then Harry. “That was so amazing, love. You were great! You wanna go and find Nanny Anne and Nanny Jay? They’re over the back, can you see?” Jacob nodded and wandered off, Louis relaxing when he saw Jacob in Jay’s arms, listening to words of praise from the family members stood together. “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, just… can I go and thank the choir teacher? I mean, she won’t mind, right?”

“Nah, Karen is cool. Want me to come with you?” Harry shook his head and Louis kissed him quickly before Harry wandered off, hovering while the teacher finished up a conversation, and when she turned and saw him waiting, she came over, smiling at him.

“Ah, Mr Tomlinson, I was hoping to catch you.”

Harry smiled shyly at the use of his married name, the novelty hadn’t worn off despite the fact he and Louis had recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary, and he’d been called that more times than he could count. “It’s Harry, please. I, uh, I just wanted to thank you for letting Jacob suggest  _ Sign of the Times  _ for tonight. It means a lot the children sang that, and that Jacob had a solo in it too. It was beautiful, you have some really talented children here.”

“We really do, it’s easy to work with children like this,” she said with a smile. “And there wasn’t a chance I could refuse Jacob asking to sing your song. The other children were very keen too, so it was a pleasure, it really was. I’m just very pleased you liked it.”

“I didn't like it, I loved it,” Harry replied, giving her a quick hug. “Thank you, honestly. You really have made my night. Have a great half term, make sure you have a rest!”

“Will do,” she replied, waving him off as he wove his way through the other parents towards his family, all stood together, Jacob holding everyone’s attention in the middle of the group. 

Harry and Louis chatted with everyone for a while until Jacob started yawning, and were a bit startled to see they were some of the last people left in the hall, teachers stacking chairs around them, keen to get home themselves. The Tomlinson’s and Styles’ all started to chip in, clearing the hall in just a few minutes and they all walked out to the car park together.

“Well done again, love, you were brilliant,” Anne said, kissing her grandson before he got into their car, buckling himself in and sleepily waving at everyone through the window. Louis and Harry quickly thanked everyone, promising to pop round and see them all at the weekend before they drove off, heading for home. By the time they arrived, Jacob was sound asleep in his car seat, and Harry scooped him up, carrying him inside and getting him into bed while Louis took Percy out into the garden, letting him go to the toilet before he put out some fresh water in the kitchen for him and kissed the ever-growing dog goodnight, leaving him in his bed. Harry managed to get Jacob out of his clothes and into his cosy pyjamas, kissing him on the forehead as he tucked the duvet around his little body, making sure his favourite was in reach before he left, pulling the door closed behind him.

By the time Louis got upstairs, Harry was walking around their bedroom in his boxers, a toothbrush in his mouth as he hung up the shirt he’d been wearing that night. Harry smiled at his husband, watching as Louis stripped off, throwing his clothes near the hamper before he put his phone on charge, pulling back the duvet and throwing the decorative cushions Harry insisted adorn their bed onto the floor.

Harry went into the bathroom to rinse his mouth and came back in, kissing Louis’ lips as he snuggled down. “Don’t forget I have that meeting in the morning, love. We’re finalising the tracklisting for the album, getting everything ready for the people who are doing the cover art.”

“God, it’s really happening, isn’t it? You going with the order we talked about the other day?” Louis peered up at Harry where he was snuggled under the duvet, rolling onto his side and into Harry’s warm arms when his husband got into bed with him.

“I reckon so. Hopefully they’ll like it. I think they’re going to have some mock ups for the booklet inlay as well, so I’ll bring them home and show you, too.” Harry’s belly flipped in excitement. This was some of his favourite bits about releasing a new album. He loved all the little touches that went into it, how much thought went into the theme of the album, the pictures, even the font of the booklet inside. It was even more special because this album was so personal, and he couldn’t wait to finally share it with the world. 

“I’d love to see. To be honest, love, it’s going to be amazing whatever happens. The songs are just… they’re amazing, Haz. I’m so glad you abandoning for me Italy did its job…”

“Oi!” Harry pretended to look afronted at that and rolled on top of his husband, the pair giggling as Harry’s long curls fell into Louis’ eyes. “I didn't abandon you… I never would. Ever. Got too much to look forward to together. Shit, it’s only a week away, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” Louis said, pushing Harry off him. He grabbed his phone and flicked through his messages, texting Zayn. “Sort of crept up on us, hasn’t it?”

“Sure has,” Harry said before he yawned widely. “Get your arse here, Tomlinson, want a cuddle before bed.” Louis quickly locked his phone and put it back on his bedside table, curling up into Harry’s warm arms, running his hand up and down the rose tattoo on his arm, his new favourite piece of ink on Harry’s body. “I love you, Lou.”

“I love you, too,” Louis whispered, eyelids suddenly feeling heavy. He tilted his head back to allow Harry to press a kiss to his lips, and they met softly, the kiss tender and loving, hands linked under the cosy duvet. “Sweet dreams, love.”

“You too, sweetheart,” Harry mumbled, his breaths getting deeper against Louis’ head as they both fell into a deep sleep, wrapped up, as always, in each other.

*

“So, are you happy with the twelve songs?” Harry asked, leaning over the table, looking at the computer that was in the middle of it. Everyone around nodded, seemingly pleased Harry had managed to create so many songs in such a short period of time. “I mean, I am, obviously, but it’s nice to hear it from other people. My only other problem is the album title.”

“What about it?” One of the management team members asked, everyone now sitting back in their chairs.

“Well, I haven’t got one,” Harry replied through a chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “I’ve been thinking about it since I got back from Italy, the writing trip but inspiration hasn’t struck yet. It has to be right, you know?”

“Let us think of it. We have a few months until it’s out, although, actually, we do need to think about the lead single. You’ve released  _ Home _ already, and  _ Fireproof  _ is out there, so those are out, but-”

“I know which I want.” The room went silent at Harry’s decisive tone. “I’m not saying just yet, I want to talk it through with Lou, but I think I want to come back to the pop world with a bang. It feels like it’s been ages since I put anything out properly, it has to be good.”

“It will be,” Rob, one of the senior members of the team said. “Now, this meeting is nearly over, but I believe there was something else you wanted to discuss with us, Harry?”

“Yeah. Um…” Harry’s belly bubbled with nerves, although he couldn’t put his finger on why since he knew this is what he wanted. “You know that Louis and I wrote a lot of these songs. Some of them are just his words, some are mine but there’s a few that are from both of us. So, I uh, I want him on the album too. I want him to do the backing vocals for the majority of the songs, and I also want him to feature on  _ Home _ .”

“Right. Well, as always, that’s up to you. We’ve never had influence over your writing team or who you choose to do backing vocals for you. That’s something to sort out between you and your husband, and if you need us to, we can step in for the legalities, revenue and so forth-”

“Oh, that’s not even a thing. Louis won’t want anything from it, I just… this is something I want, not him. I just wanted to be upfront with you guys. I know things have been a bit tricky, but we’re moving forward now and looking to the future. Actually, speaking of…” Harry smiled slightly at the thought of what was to come in a few days, and he knew he had to give his team a heads up, to let them know what was going on before they read anything on Twitter or saw pap photos of him and Louis. “Louis and I… we’re going to try for a baby.”

He looked around, seeing puzzled faces staring back at him, and laughed.

“Sorry, I should have been more clear. I realise that neither Louis or I can get pregnant. We have an appointment at a potential surrogacy clinic. We’re going for our first meeting there, to see the lie of the land, to work out what we want. But this is going to happen, whether it’s here or with another clinic. Louis and I want more children, to grow our family. We don’t want this in the press at all, it’s going to be between us, and our families, but I felt you guys should know.”

“Wonderful news,” Layla, the team’s PR assistant said, rising from the table, manoeuvering her own pregnant belly around the desk to Harry. “I’m very excited for you both, a new child is a blessing. Oh!”

“May I?” Harry asked, smiling when Layla nodded. He laid his palm flat on her belly, smiling as the baby kicked against his hand, wriggling inside her. “So amazing. How long have you got left?”

“I finish work next week, then the baby is due in five weeks,” she said, grinning broadly at Harry before she shuffled back to her seat, taking the weight off her weary feet. “Do keep us updated though, so we can make nothing gets released about it. We totally understand your need for privacy, and we’ll make sure if things do get out, they’re on your terms.”

“Thank you, I appreciate your support as always,” Harry said, pushing back from the table. “I’d better get going, I need to pick up Jacob and Louis from school, we’re going out to dinner, celebrating the end of term.”

“Have fun.” Harry made his way around the room, shaking the hands of the gathered people before he left, practically skipping down the stairs in his happiness. He got into his car, connecting his phone to the bluetooth system and listening to the tracks he’d recorded so far, pleased with how they sounded. Some of the lyrics Louis had come up with were brilliant, hit home for Harry a lot, and he was excited at the prospect of having Louis feature with him, even if he didn't want to be credited for a lot of it.

“Hey!” Jacob jumped into Harry’s arms, kissing his cheek before he wriggled down to the floor, waving goodbye to the friends who were leaving the playground with their own parents. “How was your meeting, Dad?”

“Good, thanks love,” Harry replied, taking Jacob’s school bag and PE kit from him, slinging both over his shoulder. “Shall we go and find Daddy?” Jacob nodded and took Harry’s hand, leading him round to the reception area of the building, waiting to be buzzed in through the main doors. They took a seat in the little waiting area, and Jacob jumped up in excitement when Louis came through, looking tired but happy as he hung his staff lanyard on the hook, coming over to his boys. “Hey, sweetheart, good day?”

“Yeah. Looking forward to these two weeks off though,” Louis grinned back, picking up his son as the family made their way out and back to the car. Harry drove them home, listening to Jacob chatter all the way home, hopping out of the car and running up the driveway as soon as they got home. Harry let them all in to the house, and Jacob started pulling off his uniform right there in the hallway, down to his little boxer shorts before he sprinted up the stairs screaming about being free.

Harry followed Louis into the kitchen, watching as his husband unlocked the back door, letting Percy out into the garden to run around. “So, how did it go, my love?” Louis asked, coming over to wrap his arm around Harry’s waist. “Did you sort everything out?”

“Think so,” Harry replied, gently kissing Louis’ lips with his own for a few minutes. “Mm, you taste nice, what have you had to drink?”

“Oh, one of the girls in the office brought everyone some milkshakes at lunchtime, I saved some of mine for the end of the day, nice huh?”

“Yeah,” Harry mumbled before he kissed Louis again, licking into his mouth. They moaned lowly as they kissed, only breaking apart when they heard Jacob’s footsteps on the stairs, no doubt seeking out more food. “You hungry, love?”

“I’m always hungry, I think my tummy will never, ever be full,” Jacob said, honesty lacing his voice, making his parents laugh. Louis loosened his tie, pulling it off and opening the top few buttons of his shirt as Harry turned away, trying not to react to how good Louis looked like that. “Thanks, Dad.”

He eagerly started eating the toast and fruit Harry laid in front of him, and Harry pulled Louis between his legs against the counter, nuzzling his husband’s neck for a second. “Come on, I want to hear about the meeting.”

“Nothing special, really,” Harry said, kissing the soft skin of Louis’ neck. “They liked the songs and the track listing, although I want you to look at it with me and decide on the final order, please. And, uh, I asked them about something else too..”

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked, cocking an eyebrow. “What’s that then? And why do I feel that it’s got something to do with me?”

“Cos it does,” Harry replied, a small smile on his lips. “I’ll tell you about it later, though. Oh, and I did mention, well, you know what.”

“What?” Jacob piped up, looking curiously at his parents, trying to puzzle out what it was they were talking about. They had decided not to mention the possibility of welcoming a baby into the family until it was a reality, not wanting Jacob to get his hopes up if things didn't go their way. Harry was dying to tell Jacob, though, and couldn’t wait to break the news he was going to be a big brother. Harry and Louis shared a secret smile for a minute, tapping the side of their noses.

“Never you mind, nosy,” Louis teased and Jacob just rolled his eyes, used to the teasing from his dads, nibbling on the last of his crusts. “You want to go outside and play with Percy?” 

“Yes, please! I want to teach him how to fetch, he’s a dog, he has to know how to play!” They watched as Jacob pulled on his trainers and a hoodie, running into the garden with a ball in his hand, eagerly calling for the dog. Harry watched through the window, a fond look in his eyes as he watched their puppy bound around, jumping eagerly and chasing after the ball that Jacob threw for him. The treehouse they’d decided to get Jacob for his birthday wasn’t yet built thanks to the weather, but it was due to be completed before the summer holidays arrived, and Jacob couldn’t wait.

Louis tugged on Harry’s hand and led him into the sitting room, trusting the now eight year old enough to be outside with the dog on his own for a short while, knowing the back door was open if Jacob needed them for any reason. “Sit with me.” Harry nodded and squished Louis into the corner of the sofa, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder. “Right, the kiddo’s outside, so tell me more.”

“Alright. Like I said, they liked the songs and everything, just need to work on the album art and stuff now, so there’ll be photoshoots soon enough which is cool. But I asked them something, something I wanted to talk about with you, actually.”

Louis shifted his body so Harry’s back was against his chest, his legs on either side of Harry’s body. “Go on then, you know you can ask me anything, babe.”

“Okay. Um.” Harry’s heart was racing at the thought of asking Louis to sing with him, knowing Louis wasn’t hugely keen on singing where other people could hear him. The memory of Louis coming on stage for his final tour date to sing Home with him stuck in Harry’s mind as one of his favourite things they had done together, and he was keen to get as close to that experience again as he could get. “So, you know I’ve nearly done all the main vocals for the album now, just got to finish up rerecording Fireproof and Stockholm Syndrome. But, well, I wondered if you’d consider coming to the studio and doing some backing vocals? You don’t have to credited or anything if you don’t want to but since it’s like, well,  _ our _ album… I’d like you on there.”

“I’d love to.”

“Just promise me you’ll think- what?” Harry sat up and turned to look at Louis, feeling stunned at what he thought he’d just heard.

“I said I’d love to. I’ve done the studio stuff before, remember? Please stop being scared to ask me this stuff, darling. I just want to support you, and I’ll tell you if I’m not comfortable with something, okay?”

“Fucking hell, I love you so much,” Harry muttered, getting back against Louis’ body, smiling at the thought of watching Louis back in the studio, singing beautifully for his ears only. “In the half term, yeah? Let’s get it done before you change your mind.”

“I won’t,” Louis said, rolling his eyes at Harry’s pessimistic attitude. “Come on, let’s go and watch those two loons in the garden. Did you ask your Mum about next week, taking Jake while we go to the clinic?”

“Yeah, I just told her it was a counselling thing with Dr Chandler. I feel guilty lying to her but I know why we’re keeping it quiet for now.” Louis nodded and pulled Harry up off the sofa, stumbling through to the kitchen with their hands held between them. “Oi Jake! Pass the ball!” 

Harry ran out onto the grass, laughing as Percy danced around the three of them, not knowing who to play with next. Louis entertained the dog with his rope tug toy for a few minutes while Jacob kicked a ball about with Harry, running rings around his dad, laughing as Harry kept tripping over his own feet. When Harry finally tripped himself up enough to fall flat on his arse on the grass, Jacob plopped himself on Harry’s tummy, resting his little hands on his chest.

“I’m happy we can all be together for the half term and you’re not going away again,” the little boy said, smiling down at his dad. “Can I come with you and Dad and listen to your new songs? Please?”

“Of course! Have to let my biggest fan in the whole world have the world premiere, don’t I?” He tickled Jacob under the arms and let him roll onto the floor next to him, pulling him close for a cuddle. “Love you, Jake.”

“Love you too, Dad.” He leaned in then, whispering right into Harry’s ear while Louis continued darting around the grass with the dog hot on his heels. “Wanna team up against Daddy and beat him at football? He thinks he’s the bestest but we can be better if we work together. Wanna be on my team?”

“Team Tomlinson?” Harry questioned, a broad smile on his face at the name, something he remembered Jake calling them long before he and Louis were married.

“Best team ever!” Jacob called, jumping to his feet. “Team Tomlinson for the win!”

*

Louis walked into his bedroom a few evenings later, a pile of freshly dried washing in his hands. He carefully put it down on the edge of the bed and opened Harry’s drawers, laying the items inside before he did the same with his own. He pulled off his own clothes, putting them into the laundry basket stood near the bathroom and sighed, scratching absentmindedly at an itch on his hip. He could feel Harry’s eyes boring into him from where he was sat in their bed, trying to read a book he’d  been attempting all week, but from what Louis had seen, he hadn’t got further than chapter one.

“I’m just going for a shower, love,” Louis said quietly, aware Jacob was asleep down the hall, and that he’d only just nodded off, despite the fact they’d put him to be over an hour ago now. Jacob had had a bit of an attitude all day, proclaiming that now he was eight, his dads couldn’t control every bit of his life anymore, and Louis had had to walk away on more than one occasion before he’d lost his temper, leaving his much calmer and more rational husband to deal with their son.

“Alright, babe,” Harry replied, and, in an unusual move, Louis stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, a barrier between himself and Harry for the next ten minutes. Louis turned on the shower to a slightly hotter degree than he’d normally like and tugged his boxers off, stepping under the spray. He closed his eyes and let the water drip down his body, cleansing him somehow, washing away the day. He stayed there for a few minutes until it became just a little hot to tolerate, and reached for a shower gel, one he and Harry shared.

The shower didn't take long, but Louis stayed in the bathroom until he was fully dry, shaving his beard off and working a little product through his hair despite the fact it was bedtime and Harry didn't care if his hair was sticking up all over the place. Louis hung his towel over the radiator and finally stepped out of the bathroom, boxers low on his hips to find Harry sat in bed, the book firmly away on his bedside table. Harry was staring at him and Louis just looked down to the floor, shuffling around the room and flicking off the main light before he climbed into bed.

“Right. Let’s talk.”

Louis bit back a groan and looked over to Harry, who had a look of concern on his face. “Now? I’m tired, Harry.”

“Yes, now, Louis. It’s happening again, I can feel it. You’ve been odd for the past few days, and tonight you’ve been all domestic and organised and I know for you that means you’ve got shit going on in your head. So before we’re back to square one…” He trailed off and took Louis’ hand, pulling on it gently until Louis looked at him, stunned to see they were glassy and full of fear, as if he expected the awful time of a few months ago to come back. “...talk to me, sweetheart. Please, Lou.”

Louis sighed and shifted his body, keeping the sheet over his thighs as he realised Harry was right. That dark cloud was looming overhead again, no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, and he had been off with Harry and Jacob, without necessarily meaning to. “I just… it’s… there’s a lot going on, Haz.”

“Is it the album? Because if it is, Lou, you know there’s no pressure. If you aren’t up for the backing vocals or whatever, I won’t be upset or angry if you pull out, you must know that? I just want you to be okay, and that means whatever you need, I’ll support you in. I just want you to be happy, Louis.”

“I know, my love,” Louis said, hating himself for making Harry doubtful over things yet again. “It isn’t that. Yeah, I’m shitting myself a little bit over it because you know how I get when I sing, even if it’s just in front of you but… no. That’s fine, I promise.”

There was silence for a moment. Harry played with the wedding band wrapped around Louis’ ring finger, nibbling on his bottom lip as he contemplated his next words. “It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?” Louis didn't answer, and Harry seemed to take that a yes, carrying on. “Are you having second thoughts, Lou?”

“What? No! Harry, no, my darling, I’m not. I promise you, you know how much I want this. I meant every word I said in Italy, I really did.” 

“Then what’s wrong? Please tell me. Please.”

Louis couldn’t bear Harry’s sad face, and rested his head on his shoulder, knowing it would be easier to voice his worries without looking Harry in the eye, no matter how cowardly that felt. He knew once he’d talked it through, he’d feel better. As usual, though, admitting his fears felt like a weakness and despite how far he and Harry had come together in terms of talking and Louis’ mindset of feeling weak, he still feared being his true self at times.

“I’m scared, Haz. What if the clinic doesn’t like us, or they won’t accept us as potential surrogate parents? I don’t really know anything about the whole process, like what do they want from us? How do we know we’re not going to pick someone whose going to sell us out, or not give us the baby at the end of it? I just-”

“Louis, calm down, baby. Listen to me for a second, okay?” Louis nodded, taking in a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the feeling of Harry’s arm around him, his body next to his, a steady rock. “I don’t know the answers, either. I’m sorry and I wish I did, but I don’t. But what I do know is that we’re doing this together. That means we can ask all these questions tomorrow, and we don’t have to do anything until we’re completely happy with it all, okay?”

“But Harry, I-”

“No, love, please. I know this is new for both of us, and that makes it scary. Truth be told, Lou, I’m terrified. I’m scared no surrogates will want to help us because we’re gay, which I know is entirely ridiculous but hey, my mind goes to dark places sometimes when I’m scared about shit. I’m nervous about the health screenings and stuff I know I’ll have to go through, even though the rational part of me knows I’m healthy, and clean in terms of sex and stuff. So you aren’t the only one freaking out, baby. I just hide it better. But whatever happens, I’m by your side. I always will be. And if you decide you aren’t okay with this, then we’ll stop.”

“I don’t want to stop,” Louis mumbled, shaking his head at the suggestion. “I just wish we didn't have to do all this to get a baby. Wish you could have our baby.”

Harry chuckled softly at that, nodding in agreement as he laid down and pulled Louis down on top of him, stroking a hand through his hair in a comforting way that had Louis wanting to stay there forever. “I know. Me too. I’d be fucking awesome as a pregnant person. But since that’s not quite possible right now, we have to do it this way if we want more babies, Lou. I know this is new for you, especially since you had Jake in a more… traditional way. But I’m new to this as well.”

Louis let his words sink in, thinking through how tomorrow was going to go, how he was going to have to sit and be quizzed and judged on his lifestyle, his marriage, even his sex life, quite possibly. But if it meant that in a year or two, he and Harry had a baby together, a new Tomlinson to love and dote on, then it would all be worth it. As long as he had Harry by his side, Louis felt like he could do anything. Sometimes, he just needed to be reminded of that fact.

“I love you.” He looked up to Harry, seeing a small smile cross his husband’s lips at the words, and pressed his lips to Harry’s gently. Harry kissed back, his hand kneading at Louis’ hip while Louis just let himself be held, letting Harry touch and kiss him. “I’m sorry I did it again. I promised I wouldn’t let myself get like this, that I wouldn’t let it get too much for more-”

“Don’t. Don’t apologise to me, ever. It’s okay not to be okay, Louis. I told you that before, and I’ll tell you it as much as you need to hear it. I love you as you are, okay? Just… please talk to me when you feel like this, like it’s all too much for you. I’m always here for you, Lou. I love you so much, and I just- god, I’d do anything to make you smile. I really would.”

Louis giggled, funny thoughts running through his head, pulling a smile onto his face at last. “Even coming in a cup to make a baby?”

“Yep, even coming in a cup to make a baby. Oh fuck. I have to come in a cup, don’t I?” Louis cackled at that and Harry hurried to slap a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet, not wanting to wake Jacob up. “Don’t take the piss, you don’t have to do it. Oh my god, what if I can’t get it up, Lou?”

“Oh, I’m sure I can help you out there…” Louis mumbled, pulling Harry into another kiss, worries not forgotten but made smaller thanks to the man in his arms, the one he knew he trusted through anything to guide him through, to make him happy.

*

“Louis, will you stop that, babe? You’re making me more nervous and I swear to god, the entire room is watching your leg right now.”

“Jealous?” Louis snapped back, stilling his leg from tapping on the floor, pulling his wedding ring on and off instead, needing to do something to distract his mind from what was about to happen. They were sitting in the waiting room of the surrogacy clinic, and both of them were clearly feeling the nerves. The drive over had been tense and even Jacob had sensed it, whispering goodbyes into their ears and giving them tight cuddles rather than darting off into Jay’s house as he normally would do. Louis sighed and reached over, wanting to apologise, knowing it wasn’t Harry’s fault he was so on edge. “You finished with those forms? Need my help?”

“No, love, but thank you. Just the last page to go.” Louis nodded and pulled out his phone, sending his mum a quick text to apologise for being a moody buggar when they’d dropped Jacob off. “Oh jeez, some of these questions are quite personal…” Louis peered over as Harry pointed out the section on sexual health, and the plethora of questions there.

“I mean, I guess they need to know that stuff? Like about how often we have sex, maybe it’s to do with how much sperm you have left if we’re doing it a lot?”

“Doing it? Are we teenagers, Lou?” Louis blushed and elbowed Harry, already dreading having to discuss their sex life with the doctors, knowing he turned into a child when he had to talk about anything related to that. “I guess so, though. Just feels a bit personal, though.”

“Love, this place is all about baby making. They’ve heard it all before, just chill, okay? Answer as much as you can and if you don’t know, leave it and we’ll sort it when we’re in there.” He rubbed Harry’s forearm gently for a moment, feeling the tension ease out of him as Harry’s pen started to scribble again, ticking boxes and writing in answers where needed until he sat the clipboard down next to him, finally finished. “All done?”

“Yep. Now we wait.” Louis nodded and held Harry’s hand, trying not to look at the other couples sat in the room, all there for the same reason. Louis couldn’t help but notice they were the only same sex couple, however, and he wasn’t too sure how he felt about that.

“Mr and Mr Tomlinson to room six, please, that’s Mr and Mr Tomlinson to room 6.” Louis exhaled heavily and got to his feet, smiling down at Harry as he offered a hand out. Harry took it, standing up and pecking Louis’ lips gently before they headed off.

“Here we go,” he muttered as they made their way down the corridor, hand in hand. They were both dressed smartly in shirts and trousers, determined to make a good impression on the people who were going to help them grow their family. They hovered outside the door until Harry took the lead, knocking and proceeding in when they were called.

Louis smiled over to the petite woman stood behind the desk, watching as she came around to shake both of their hands before sitting back down, indicating for Harry and Louis to do the same. They did, and Harry immediately moved his chair over, closer to Louis’, needing them to be close at that moment. 

“Good morning, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself, then I’d love for you to do the same. My name is Amanda Waters. I’ve been working within the UK fertility specialism for around twenty years now, and began working at this clinic just under a decade ago. I’ve helped countless couples to welcome babies via surrogate, and I hope to be able to do the same for yourselves soon. Throughout the process, I will be your port of call, I’m happy to answer any questions you have, and will be contactable through email, telephone or meetings within the clinic at any point. I’m hoping we can have an open path of communication in order for this to be successful for everyone involved. Now, would you like to introduce yourselves, and tell me a bit more about you and why you’re here?”

Louis nodded and looked to Harry, wanting him to be the one to talk about this since he was the primary person this whole process involved.

“Okay, um, sorry, I’m a bit nervous.” He laughed and reached for Louis’ hand, holding on tightly. “Right, well I’m Harry. Tomlinson. Harry Tomlinson. I’m twenty five, and I’m married to this wonderful man next to me. This is my husband Louis, he’s twenty nine.” Louis giggled, feeling like he was part of a dating show or something equally bizarre thanks to the way Harry was going about this. “We’ve been together just over two years now, and married for one. We have an eight year old son called Jacob, and a puppy called Percy. Um…”

“So why are you here, Harry?” Dr Waters asked, sensing Harry was fumbling and didn't know where to go with this.

“Okay. Well, Jacob is Louis’ biological son, but I am adopting him, he’s as much mine now as he is Lou’s. But we want our family to grow, and we’re keen to have another biological child. Lou and I have talked and we decided for this child, we want me to be the, uh, donor? And since we’re not into women and sadly we can’t have our own baby… here we are.”

The doctor nodded at that, tapping a few notes into the computer. “Okay, that’s all good. Do you have the paperwork you were given when you came… excellent, thank you. I’ll just look this over, give me a few minutes?”

Louis and Harry nodded, sitting back and trying to relax as the doctor read through Harry’s questionnaire.

“Right, that all seems fine, and we’ll go into more detail with certain aspects of that as the process continues. Today is just your preliminary appointment so I can begin to explain how everything works. Does that sound okay with you?”

“Yep, definitely,” Harry answered, Louis nodding next to him. They sat and listened for the next half an hour or so as the doctor began to explain how the clinic worked, talked them both through the different ways of surrogacy; anonymous or open, and how things would be proceed from then on. “So, we can choose whether or not to have contact with our surrogate during the pregnancy?”

“Yes and no,” the doctor began. “Some of our surrogates insist on anonymity. They choose to have no contact with the parents of the baby, and if you were to select one of those surrogates, we’d expect you to adhere to their wishes. But some are more willing to allow you to be part of the process. This is all indicated on the information you will be given when the time comes for selecting a surrogate, so please don’t feel too overwhelmed by all this.”

Louis’ head was swimming with information but he tried to focus, determined to be the support Harry needed through this.

“So, what happens from today then?” Louis asked, finally speaking up.

“Well, we’d look to do some initial bloods on your husband, typical screenings to ensure we would all be safe to go into the next stage of the process. If things were to come back all clear, we’d invite you for the next stage, which is talking about surrogate selection, and your wishes in terms of the donor’s attributes. We’d also look to assess Mr Tomlinson’s sperm count to ensure we would be able to create an embryo. Once all that is sorted out, we’d look to either meeting the surrogate if you choose that route, and then creation of the embyro and implantation.”

“Shit. Sorry, but. God. This all suddenly feels so real,” Harry mumbled, running a hand through his hair, looking a bit overwhelmed now. “I mean, I want this, I do but it’s just a lot, you know?”

“I understand, Mr Tomlinson, and-

“Harry, please call me Harry.”

“Okay, Harry. We are happy to take this entirely at your pace. If, at any point, you are uncomfortable or wish to slow things down, that is your prerogative. We are here to help you, to make this process as easy as we can. Do you have any more questions at this point in time?”

“Not yet,” Louis uttered, and Harry hummed in agreement.

“Well, if you do, jot them down and we can hopefully get them answered at your next session. You can also call me or email me if there’s something more pressing, I’m usually checking my email several times a day, and all communications to the clinic are fully encrypted to maintain your privacy.”

“That’s good to know, thank you,” Harry said, pleased she was acknowledging the fact he needed privacy for something like this. “I assume everything else here is confidential, too? It’s not that Lou and I are ashamed of using a surrogate, far from it, but we want it out there on our terms. We’d like to keep it to ourselves, if possible, at least for now.”

“Of course, Harry. Now, if you’re ready, I’d like to send you through to our nurses office where she’ll take a small blood sample from you, and then you can make your next appointment before you leave, does that sound okay?”

“Not really,” Harry admitted, heart thudding at the thought of a blood test. Louis’ head swung around, confusion covering his face. “No, not like that. I, uh...I hate needles, that’s all. Sorry.” Louis chuckled and squeezed Harry’s hand.

“I’ll hold your hand, babe, don’t worry. Thank you so much doctor, it’s been a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too, Louis, and you, Harry. I look forward to working with the pair of you and helping you to grow your family. If you go out of the main door and turn right, the nurses’ office is right there, she’s expecting you. Bye for now.”

They all shook hands and Louis led a very reluctant and nervous Harry down the corridor, and all but pushed him into the office, greeting the nurse with a tight smile as he forced Harry into the seat next to the desk. 

“Hi, sorry, someone’s a bit nervous,” he explained, dragging a chair from by the wall over next to Harry’s. “Love, you’re going to be fine. It’s only a little needle, and you don’t have to look, okay?”

“I’m very good at this, don’t worry,” the nurse assured him, smiling gently at the soft touches that Louis was giving Harry, trying to calm him down. “I’m Alfie, I’ll be taking a few vials of blood today, Mr Tomlinson. Just make sure you stay still, and this will be as painless as it can be. I assume you’re staying, Sir?” he asked, addressing Louis.

“Unless you want Harold here in a puddle on your floor, yes, I’ll be staying,” Louis replied, making Harry giggle. “You okay, my love?”

Harry nodded as he rolled up his shirt sleeve, letting the nurse slide the tourniquet onto his arm, pulling tightly around Harry’s bicep. Alfie patted over the crease in Harry’s elbow, looking for a vein. “Okay, you have some good veins here, this shouldn’t be a problem. If you want to close your eyes, Mr Tomlinson…”

Harry whimpered and buried his head in Louis’ neck, as if he wanted to curl into his body. Louis held on tight, whispering words of comfort and love as he watched Alfie work over Harry’s shoulder, expertly sliding the needle in and clipping the tubes onto it, the blood dripping into them quickly and easily.

“You’re doing so good for me, babe, so brave. I know you hate this, but it’ll all be worth it, yeah? Gonna have a gorgeous little baby with your curls and your beautiful green eyes, gonna love them so much.”

“Yeah, want babies, Lou,” Harry slurred, still trying to ignore the slight throb of pain in his elbow.

“All done, Mr Tomlinson, if you could just pop some pressure on there for me… excellent. Let me just sort these out and I’ll be back. Hold on tight, that’s it.” Harry kept his fingers on the wad of gauze and they sat quietly as Alfie filled in a few forms, dropping in the vials of blood and popping it into a bag, sealing it off before dumping it in another special bin at the side, ready for testing. “Right, let go of that and I’ll pop a plaster on.”

Harry smiled at the plaster and rolled down his sleeve, flexing his arm a few times to try and stop the pins and needles in his fingers, cheeks red from his embarrassment. “Um, sorry I got a bit daft, never have liked needles…”

“Don’t worry. It’s fine, nothing I haven’t seen before. Good job you have such a good man to take care of you. The results will be in in a few days, and if there’s anything of concern, you’ll be called to come in. Otherwise, if things are good, you won’t hear from us until your next appointment where Dr Waters will discuss the results with you then. Okay?”

“Yep, thanks so much.” Louis and Harry shook the nurses’ hand and headed out, making the next appointment for a week’s  time, grateful Louis was still on Easter break then and able to make it.

“Well, that went well,” Louis remarked as Harry drove off, heading in the direction of Jay’s house, ready to collect their son. “How do you feel about everything that was said?”

“Good, actually,” Harry admitted, smiling quickly over to Louis, silence filling the car as neither of them particularly wanted the radio on. “I mean, it’s a lot of information to take in in one go, but the doctor seems nice, like she’ll take our time with it and everything. We’ve got a lot to discuss, though, about the surrogate and stuff.”

“Yeah, I know. But we’re good at that now, right? Talking stuff through? Plus, we can always talk to Katie about it if we’re worried about stuff. I want to keep seeing her, not every week cos things are good, but maybe once a month, just to check in?”

“I think that’s a good idea, love. Like Jake does, I think he likes their chats.” They both smiled at the thought of their son, and Louis reached for Harry’s hand, taking it and resting it on Harry’s thigh as he drove. “I love you, though, babe. I’m so happy we’re doing this at last. Feels like every time we’ve been in a place to, something’s gone wrong. But now, it’s happening, we’re gonna have a baby.”

“I can’t wait,” Harry said, unable to hold back his grin anymore. “Finally feels like everything is falling into place, you know? Like with the album, and us, our marriage, and now the baby stuff. We deserve this, Lou, we deserve something good, to be happy.”

“We do. I love you, Haz. No-one else I’d rather be doing this with.”

“Good, cos you’re kinda stuck with me,” Harry joked, making them both laugh as he parked the car on the kerb outside Jay’s house, pulling on the handbrake as he turned the engine off. “And I love you, too, by the way.”

“Never doubted it,” Louis called back as he got out of the car and headed up the path. “Not even for a second.”


	67. Dirty Picture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob has an important question for Harry. Harry struggles with what he has to do at the clinic, and Louis doesn't make things easy for his husband...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 3 days?! Whoop!! Back to this and I’m really pleased with this one. Do let me know your thoughts in the comments :) thank you as always for still being here. X

“What’s it say? Come on…”

“Louis, will you just give me a minute? I can’t speed read like you…” Harry moaned, holding the letter aloft. He was determined to read it properly since it was from the clinic, and he didn't want to get anything wrong, knowing how important the whole process was to the pair of them. “Oh, is that your Mum outside? Go and answer the door while I finish reading.”

Louis groaned but did so, and Harry could hear him greeting Jay and their son at the door before little footsteps thundered through the house. Harry soon realised Jay was coming in and tucked the letter back into its envelope before pushing it between two books on the bookshelf. They hadn’t told anyone about the first appointment just yet, not until the ball was really rolling, and Harry knew Jay spotting a letter from a fertility clinic would certainly expose them.

“Hello, darling. You alright?” Jay said, wandering over to her son in law and grabbing him in a tight hug. “How’s the album coming along?”

“Good, thanks, love,” Harry answered, loving how genuine his mother-in-law was with her questioning. “Do you want a cuppa or something?”

“Thanks love, but I have to get a move on in a minute, got to get the girls from ballet. Just thought I’d pop in and say hi, feels like ages since I’ve seen you three!”

“Mum, it’s been about four days,” Louis replied, rolling his eyes. “But tell you what, come over at the weekend, we’ll make dinner, yeah?”

“Oh, that would be nice, thank you. I’ll take any excuse not to cook. Right, I’d better be going, where’s that gorgeous grandson of mine?”

“Jacob!” Louis hollered, and Jacob came back down the stairs.

“Thanks for picking me up, Nanny! Love you! Oh, hi Dad!” Jacob cried, running at Harry and jumping into his waiting arms. While Jacob was a bit too cool to hug Harry on the playground anymore before school, at home, he was as affectionate as ever and loved to be held, especially in Harry’s strong arms. Louis told Harry more often than not he totally understood that. “Why are you leaving already? I thought we could play.”

“I have to get the girls, sweetheart, but Dad invited us round for dinner at the weekend, so I’ll play then, okay?” Jacob nodded and blew Jay a kiss, and together, Louis, Harry and Jacob stood at the door, waving her off. As she turned around the corner and out of sight, Jacob wriggled to get down onto the floor.

“Daddy, can I go and play in the garden? I want to practise my football,” Jacob asked, and Harry nodded, following Jacob through the house and unlocking the back door to let him into the garden. Percy looked up from where he was laid in his blanket and quickly followed the little boy, barking in delight and running around Jacob’s feet as he tried to kick the ball, but not going too hard since he didn't want to kick his dog by accident. Harry startled as Louis came up next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist as they watched the pair for a few moments.

“So. The letter?” Louis asked and Harry nodded, taking Louis’ hand and walking them both back to the sitting room. “Is it bad news? I thought if your blood tests were bad, they’d call…”

“No, it’s nothing to do with that. I told you, Lou, there’s no way they’ll come back bad. I was tested before we stopped using condoms, and since I’ve only had sex with you over the past two years-”

“And for the rest of your life,” Louis reminded him, making Harry nod and giggle.

“Yes, Louis, you’re the only man I’ll ever have sex with again, happy?” Louis nodded and Harry continued. “Anyway, it’ll be fine. The letter is just telling us what’s going to happen with the next appointment on Saturday.”

“And?”

“Bloody hell, Lou, get some patience, I’m getting there. Basically, I, uh, I have to give my first … donation.” Louis snorted at the word and Harry glared at him, making Louis hold his hands up in surrender, knowing Harry was a bit sensitive when it came to this idea. “But in order for the sample to be as good as it can be, to give them a good idea of, um, stuff, I can’t, um, come for three days before.”

“It says the word ejaculate on there, doesn’t it?” Louis questioned, and couldn’t help laughing as Harry’s face flushed red and he nodded. “Harold, you’re twenty five and you can’t say the world ejaculate. Tut tut. How are you gonna cope with looking at lady porn and coming in a cup?”

“Oh fuck off, Lou. I’m not even thinking about that. I’m actually just thinking about the fact I can’t wank off or fuck you until Saturday night. That sucks.”

“You can still suck, love, don’t worry,” Louis said before he cackled and Harry had had enough. He turned to where Louis was sat on the sofa and pushed him backwards, quickly straddling an objecting Louis’ hips. “Oi, get off. Better not let that cock get hard, love, can’t do anything about it just yet…”

“Oh yes I can, says three days. It’s only Tuesday, Lou, so I might just have to fuck you a few times tonight to make up for it. Might make a start now actually…” He leaned in and kissed Louis deeply for a moment, both of them quickly getting aroused despite the slightly clinical talk just beforehand. They were losing themselves in it quickly, forgetting their son and dog in the garden but pulled apart at the sound of Jacob’s loud screech from the garden.

“DAD! PERCY’S WEEING IN THE WASHING BASKET!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Louis groaned as Harry chuckled and climbed off, leaving Louis to sort out the mess while he crept upstairs, ready to make the most of the last day he could come before the all important test on Saturday.

*****

“Harry, stop. Love, you’re gonna come and then we’ll have to phone the clinic and reschedule the appointment and they’ll wanna know why…”

“Don’t care. Wanna get off,” Harry moaned, still rubbing his erection against Louis’ bare thigh in their bed. He reached down and took his cock out, moaning as it touched Louis’ leg, gliding over the hairs on his husband’s skin, feeling more than good. “Lou, please…”

“Nope. Come on, this is important, love. I know you wanna come, and I promise on Saturday night, I’ll make it up to you. But the appointment is in two days, and you know this has to be right. We can’t fuck up, not now.”

“Can’t fuck anything, can I?” Harry moaned as he pulled away, tucking his cock back into his boxers, thumping the bed with his fist in anger. “Why do I have to be the one who comes in a cup? Can’t you do it?”

“Well, I could, but I thought we wanted you to be the daddy this time, love. It’ll be fine. You’ll have your lady porn to look at-”

“Louis, I swear to god, if you say lady porn one more time…” Harry replied dryly, and Louis just giggled again and rolled into Harry's side, flinging his leg over and pulling Harry close. Harry considered Louis’ words for a moment, worry setting in. “Um … do you think they’ll only have lady porn? Cos that won’t do it for me, you know that. What if I can’t get it up, what if the boobs put me off so much-”

“You’re over-thinking this. Chill out, babe. If you want, I can grab you a magazine when I go to town tomorrow, we can sneak it in…”

“Uh, no. Fuck, imagine if someone saw that. Imagine the fucking tweets. _Harry Styles’ husband spotted buying porn - does Harry no longer satisfy his husband?_ No thank you very much. I’ve got my phone, I’ll just have to be creative if I have to be.”

“Could always use your imagination. Sure we’ve done plenty of stuff you could get off to,” Louis teased, kissing Harry’s lips softly. Their kiss was interrupted by a small knock at the door, and Harry felt grateful that all the talk of porn and boobs had made him go soft. “Come in, love.”

The door slowly creaked open and revealed Jacob stood there, hair sticking up all over the place, his little pyjamas rucked up from his restless sleep. Harry patted the mattress between him and Louis and Jacob carefully clambered over, sinking under the duvet as his parents cuddled up to him. He was fairly quiet, as he always was when he woke up but Harry sensed there was something more to it, catching Louis’ eye over Jacob’s head and frowning slightly at him.

“You have a good sleep?” Louis asked, and Jacob nodded. “Nice being on half term, isn’t it? I like not setting the alarm and have a lie in with my two favourite people in the whole world.”

“I’m gonna tell Percy you missed him out,” Jacob said, his little voice all scratchy with sleep. Louis laughed and nodded, kissing the crown of his son’s head. “Can I ask you both something?”

“You can ask us anything,” Harry replied quickly. For some reason, he thought Jacob might somehow know about them trying to have a baby, and he swallowed, feeling nervous at the thought of discussing it with an eight year old. He and Louis had decided not to tell Jacob anything until they definitely knew there was going to be a baby. They didn't want to get his hopes up, and if it wasn’t going to happen, there was no point getting the boy excited for nothing, only to dash his hopes weeks later.

“Well, in my talk with Katie the other day, I asked her something. And she said it might be a good idea and I’ve been thinking about it since then.”

“Okay, and what’s that?” Louis prompted. Jacob only saw his counsellor every fortnight now, and Katie had told Harry and Louis recently at one of their parent meetings that she was happy to continue, as she felt it was still beneficial to Jacob. “Jake, you can tell us, you know.”

“I know. Um. Well, it’s something I want to ask Dad, actually.”

Harry’s eyes flitted up to meet Louis’ again, suddenly worried Louis would be hurt that Jacob was aiming his question at him, but of course, Louis smiled encouragingly, giving Harry the courage to continue his conversation with his son. “Okay, go on then, love, you can ask me.”

“Well. We haven’t, um, gone on a bike ride since you got hurt before. And I think I want to.”

“You want us to go bike riding again?” Harry asked, wanting to make sure he’d understood exactly what Jacob wanted.

“Yeah,” Jacob whispered, burying his head in Harry’s chest, as if to block out the answer somehow. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, no. Come on, look at me, please?” Harry waited a moment as Jacob wriggled backwards, pushing his bum against Louis’ tummy as he looked nervously up at his dad. “If that’s what you want, love, we can do that. I mean, I need to get a new bike, but yes, I think that’s a good idea. Put the whole bad memories behind us, yeah?”

“I used to love our rides, I would really like to do them again,” Jacob answered, smiling slightly. “Katie told me that it doesn’t mean you will be hurt again, and I’m scared that you will but… I’d like to try?”

“Of course. There’s that new bike shop opened in the retail park, maybe we could all go today and sort out some bikes? You’ve grown a lot since, uh, what happened, so you’ll probably need a new one too.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, Lou. Let me do this. Money doesn’t matter when it-”

“Love, that’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say I think that’s a great idea. Can I tag along to the shop, too?”

“Of course, Daddy!” Jacob said, rolling himself over, kicking Harry in the thigh in the process. “If you don’t, I bet Dad will pick a pink bike or something, you have to help him choose something cool.”

“Oi, pink is cool!” Harry protested, and Louis and Jacob laughed together at that. They all crowded together in the middle of the bed, cuddling the little boy tight, both dads so proud of Jacob for voicing what he wanted. “Wanna go this morning, then?”

“Yeah! But I need a wee and Daddy, you promised you’d iron my Harry t-shirt so I can wear it today…” They watched with amused eyes as the little boy bounced out of bed and darted off to their ensuite, coming back out with damp hands. “Come on! I want to go bike shopping!”

*****

Louis sighed as he trailed down the aisles of the bike shop after his boys. Harry was making easy conversation with One of the assistants in the the store, explaining what he wanted, and Jacob was just mesmerised by the sight of hundreds of bikes lined up, ready to be chosen by someone and taken home. Louis wasn’t that interested if he was honest, riding bikes was never his thing (although he’d agreed vehemently with Harry when they were in the shower this morning and Harry had quipped that Louis was definitely good at riding his cock). However, if this put a smile on both Harry and Jacob’s faces, it was worth it.

Louis had also gone along with the fact that Harry wanted to buy whichever bikes he and Jacob wanted. Louis was a bit more used to Harry spending money on his family now, not flinching when Harry dropped hundreds of pounds when Jacob outgrew his wardrobe and decided to replace the lot at once, or paid for takeaways for the entire Tomlinson and Styles clans. In some ways, the money in their joint bank account was still a novelty to Louis, but in other ways, it made him feel safe, that he knew he and Harry could provide for Jacob for the rest of his life with ease.

“Babe? What do you think?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” Louis replied honestly, sidling up to Harry and tucking his hand in the back pocket of Harry’s tight jeans. “Say again?”

“I asked what you thought about whether I should get a mountain bike or more of a road bike.”

“Really? You’re asking me that question?” Louis asked with a cocked eyebrow and Harry just sighed, realising his husband was right. “I mean, I can tell you which one looks nicest, but that doesn’t mean I know anything about whether it’s any good or not.”

“Fair enough. Let me chat more to Callum here and I’ll sort it out. I, uh, I think Jake wants to try a few, maybe you and him could work out which ones he likes?”

“Course. Love you,” Louis muttered, pecking Harry’s lips before he walked away, trying to ignore the wide eyes of the sales assistant at their easy affection. The boy was young, he probably hadn’t seen two men be affection with each other like that before so Louis brushed it off, entirely unbothered. “Jacob, will you get down?” He reached up and pulled Jacob down from where he was almost trying to climb the shelf to get a better look at a bike.

“Sorry, I just wanted to see it!”

“Well, ask me and I’ll get someone to help. If you fall off, love, you’re gonna get hurt. Now, which one are you looking at?”

“The green one!” Jacob began to bounce excitedly next to him and Louis smiled at the older man who came over, offering to help. “Thank you Mr Bike Man!”

Louis and the man laughed as he lifted the frame down onto the ground. “You can call me that, but other people call me William. This one looks a good size. Can you ride a bike?”

“Yeah, I’m really super duper at it,” Jacob said, throwing his leg over the frame and setting the pedals. “Me and my Dad are getting new bikes, then we’re going for a bike ride later.”

“Ah, I see. Did you want me to help you choose a bike for yourself?” William asked Louis then, Jacob peering back over his shoulder, quickly jumping in to the conversation.

“Not that Dad, my other Dad. He’s over there looking at pink ones, he’s hopeless.” William looked a little stunned as Jacob pushed off, riding comfortably down the aisle until he stopped, turned the bike around and rode back to them.

“Uh, sorry about that,” Louis said with a chuckle as Jacob repeated the ride over and over. “I don’t think he meant to be rude. It’s Harry, his other dad who is getting a bike, my husband. He’s over there picking one for himself. I’m not much of a rider myself.”

“Not to worry, my fault for assuming,” William said, looking down as Jacob tugged on his sleeve.

“Hey Mr William, did you know my middle name is William, and so is Dads! This Dad, not my other dad. But when my other dad adopts me, I’m gonna have two middle names, William and Edward. Then I will be like both my dads! This bike is epic!” William looked entirely stunned as he tried to make sense of Jacob’s gabbling, and Louis couldn’t stop himself laughing.

“Oh my lord, I’m sorry, mate. He’s a bit excited this morning.”

“Don’t worry,” William laughed, slapping Louis on the shoulder. “I think I got the gist of it. Back to the bike, though, it looks good to me. It’s a good size as he can touch the floor with his tiptoes, so it should grow with him for a few years. We’ll adjust the seat and handlebars for him while you’re here if choose to take it. Does he have a helmet?”

“He can have a new one,” Harry piped up as he came over, resting his arm around Louis’ shoulders. “I got one too, black, Jake will be pleased to hear, even though the sparkly pink one did suit me.”

“I bet,” Louis replied with amusement in his eyes. “Love, this is William, he’s helped Jake to choose a bike. This is my husband Harry, Jacob’s other dad.”

Harry and William shook hands and the three men chatted for a minute as Jacob continued to ride, finally coming to a stop in front of them.

“Dad, I’d like this one, please? I think it fits me.” They all laughed at that and Harry took Jacob over to look at the helmet selection. They all gathered together again at the till and Harry paid for everything while Louis tried not wince at the rather large three figure sum on the display. Harry just held his hand as they negotiated William dropping the bikes back to their house within the hour, and they watched as Jacob skipped ahead of them back to the car.

“I’m pleased he’s so excited, thank you for this, love,” Louis mumbled to Harry as they drove home, hands linked and resting on Harry’s thigh as they stopped at yet another traffic light. “How are you feeling about it?”

Harry turned to look over his shoulder, pleased to see Jacob had his headphones on, several tracks Harry had recently finished in the studio playing through them. He loved the fact he got to hear them before anyone else, and was happily tapping his little feet against the seat as he listened. “Honestly? I’m a bit nervous. The rational part of my brain is telling me what happened before was a fluke, a one off. But Lou…”

“I know, sweetheart. But you’re right. It was a horrible accident, but it was just that, an accident. No one knew it would happen. And you can’t live your life thinking it’ll happen again, okay?” He squeezed Harry’s hand gently, rubbing his thumb over his skin softly. “I love you, babe. If you don’t want to do this today, I’ll understand, and so will Jake.”

“No, I want to. I do. I mean, I don’t want to go far, maybe just the roads around our house and stuff, but I feel like if I don’t do it, I never will, you know?” Louis nodded, sitting quietly until they arrived home.

They set up a game of Monopoly Empire while they waited for William to arrive, and when Jacob spotted his van out the front of the house, he jumped up excitedly, asking Louis if he could answer the door. Louis allowed him and he and Harry followed in his wake, greeting the man with a smile and a handshake, watching as he lifted the frames from the specially equipped van. They thanked him and he drove off, ready to get to another delivery, and Louis sensed Harry was nervous. He stepped over and pulled Harry into a hug.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, uh, I’m gonna take him out now before I chicken out. Okay?” Louis nodded and pulled Harry down into a quick kiss. “Shit, I’ll, uh, let me go and get changed.”

Louis watched as Harry retreated back into their house and walked over to Jacob, helping him fasten his new helmet under his chin, tightening the strap carefully. “Love… I’m really proud of you for this. But... Dad is struggling a bit too, so look after him for me, yeah? If he’s finding it too much-”

“I’ll tell him to come home, Dad. He’s like the bravest man I know and I love him so much. I was so scared to ask him about this. We’re lucky aren’t we, to have Dad in our lives, in our family?”

“Sure are, buddy,” Louis whispered, grabbing his son and holding him close. “Be safe, okay? And listen to Dad, do whatever he tells you.”

“I will,” Jacob promised, eyes lighting up as Harry came back outside, now in a pair of shorts and one of Louis’ t-shirts, trying to do his chin strap up. “Dad, let Daddy help you, he’s good at that!” Harry smiled and headed over to Louis, tilting his head back slightly so his husband could click the strap into place. “Love you Dad, look after Percy for us!”

“Will do. Be safe, Haz, okay? I love you so much. You’re amazing for doing this, you know. Have fun, boys.” He waved as Harry set himself up on his bike, and blew kisses before both of them cycled off slowly up the driveway. Louis felt nervous. Memories kept flooding back, of getting that awful phone call, of Jacob tearfully mumbling into the phone that Harry was hurt and he wasn’t waking up. Louis knew he needed a distraction while they were out and headed inside, grabbing things from the fridge to start making lunch for the three of them.

It felt like hours had gone by. Louis’ phone hadn’t rung, despite the fact he’d had it at his side the whole time, on loud so there was no way he could miss a call if one came. Relief flooded his veins when he heard the garage door open a short while later, and he couldn’t help himself from sprinting to the front door, locking Percy in the sitting room as he threw the front door open, needing to see his boys were home safe and sound for himself.

“Dad! Oh god, that was amazing, we rode for ages and I didn't fall over, and I used my brakes properly, and it was amazing!” Jacob jumped into Louis’ arms, flinging his arms tightly around Louis’ neck with excitement as he embraced his dad. Louis bit back the tears threatening to fall at his son’s pure joy, and looked around, finally locking eyes with his husband.

Louis let Jacob down, watching the little boy dart indoors to put his helmet away, and wordlessly stepped over to Harry, grabbing him in a fierce, protective hug. “You’re okay. Fuck. I knew you would be but… god, I’m so glad you’re home in one piece. You alright? Was it okay?”

“Yeah, it was, uh, it was great, actually. Jake was so good, he listened, and we just chatted as we rode. I think I actually forgot I was scared, that something could go wrong. God, I’d never have done that if it weren’t for him. How is it an eight year old kid makes me strong, Lou?”

“It’s the pair of you, together. You needed each other for this, and you tackled it head on, together. You make each other brave- oh hi, love. I was just saying to Dad that you make each other brave. I know you were both worried about that, but you did it together.”

“That’s what you should call it,” Jacob said suddenly, looking up at his parents, something akin to wonder in his eyes.

“Call what?” Harry asked, brow furrowed as he looked at Louis, who just shrugged back, as clueless as Harry was.

“Your album. You should call it brave. Cos you’re brave, and Dad’s brave, and I’m brave. We’re all brave. It sounds nice.” Jacob ran off again at that and left a stunned Harry and Louis on the driveway, Jacob’s words ringing loudly in their ears.

“Shit.”

“He’s right, isn’t he?” Harry shook his head, taking Louis’ hand as they wandered inside, settling on the sofa, Louis on Harry’s lap. He loved how easily Harry’s arms wrapped around his waist, and he leaned in to kiss him softly. “Lou, he’s right. The album, it should be called _Brave_.”

“I kinda love it,” Louis admitted with a small smile. “I mean, it’s us, like Jake said. We’re brave together. The three of us… we can do anything, as long as we have each other. We’ve had a lot of shit thrown at us, love, but we’ve got through it.”

“I got through it because of you two, because you make me brave,” Harry whispered in reply, pulling Louis closer, even though they both knew that was almost impossible. “And Jacob’s right, that’s the title of my album. _Brave._ I can’t wait for him to hear the whole thing, the song we wrote for him..”

“Me neither.” Louis and Harry kissed for a few minutes, the sound of Jacob playing with something in his bedroom filling the silence. “I made lunch, figured you’d both be hungry after your ride…”

“Best husband ever. I love you, Lou.”

“Love you, too. Now go and get changed, you smell all sweaty, and tell Jake to come down while you’re there.”

“Yes, sir. And you love me all sweaty, don’t deny it…”

“I do, but nothing much I can do about that til Saturday night is there?” Harry groaned at the realisation and pouted, cupping his crotch with a mournful look. “Oh stop it, only two more days, come on.”

“Feels like a lifetime when your husband is as fucking sexy as you…” Harry turned and shook his backside at Louis, who just laughed. “Back in a tick, gorgeous.”

Louis grinned and headed back to the kitchen. Life wasn’t perfect, not by any stretch, but as he’d said to Harry, as long as they had each other, there was nothing more any of them needed.

*****

“Louis, help me.”

“Nope.”

“Please.”

“Harry, no. Leave it alone and it’ll go away.”

“Fucks sake, Louis, I’m not a 12 year old boy, I know it won’t bloody go away on its own. I need your help.”

“I will. Tonight. After we’ve seen the doctor.”

“It hurts.”

“Stop it. If you stop touching it, it won’t hurt anymore.” Louis reached out and slapped Harry’s hand away, making him squeal out. “Seriously, control yourself for a few more hours, love. I know morning wood isn’t fun when you can’t do anything about it, but rubbing it all over me or your hand isn’t helping, is it?”

“‘Spose not,” Harry said, a stroppy look on his face. Still, he tugged back the covers, exposing his rather impressive erection, and Louis just rolled his eyes, rolling away. “Aren’t you the least bit tempted?”

“Not right now, love, no. We need those swimmers for today, see if we’re good to start making babies.”

“We could start making babies right now,” Harry murmured, his voice going husky, and Louis just laughed, shaking his head in near despair. “Come on, Lou, you know wanna knock me up...”

“I’m going in the shower. Get your cock under control and we can think about setting off, and you can sort that problem out there.” Louis shoved the sheet back from his body and strolled through to the bathroom completely naked, laughing again as Harry moaned at the sight of him.

Harry willed his erection to go away, more than a little fed up of not being able to touch himself or his husband for the past few days. Louis hadn’t even let him touch his cock, lest he come by accident, so Harry was craving some touch. When it didn't, he decided he had to get dressed anyway, get himself in the mindset for what was going to happen later. He was just pulling on his trousers when Louis walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his curvy hips, cheek slightly pink. Harry immediately became suspicious.

“What have you been up to?”

“Nothing, having a wash, doing my hair, having a shave. Why?”

“You look a little pink cheeked, like you’ve been doing something you shouldn’t…”

“It’s a shower, love, it’s hot. That’s all. You’re overthinking things in your horny state. Now come on, get your gorgeous arse ready and we can get this show on the road.”

*****

Louis was driving to the clinic an hour later, a very restless and irritable Harry at his side. “So, you really ready for this? I mean, your cock is but what’s going on up there, hmm?” Louis asked, tapping Harry’s head gently.

“What’s going on, Louis, no thanks to you I must add, is that I’m bloody petrified I’m not going to be able to do this.”

“What, is it the idea of the lady porn that’s worrying you?” Louis teased, and laughed again as Harry sent him a glare. “Love, I told you, we can ask for some gentleman’s literature, I have no shame, you know that.”

“Oh, I do. I recall several times you humiliating me over our sex life at the hospital, to the physio, if I remember rightly?” Louis just giggled and nodded, well aware of how he used to wind Harry up, knowing how embarrassed Harry got when he talked about sex with anyone except his husband. “But yes, the lady porn, as you so beautifully call it, is bothering me. Fuck.”

“Don’t worry, love. You’ll be fine. Oh, look there’s a space.” Louis swung the car into it and got out, coming round to open the door for a rather pale Harry. He realised then that Harry really wasn’t putting on his fear - he was genuinely worried about what was going to happen, so Louis reached out, taking his hand. He held on as they walked in together, as Harry booked them in, and then as they sat together, side by side. “Sweetheart, look at me.”

Harry did, so Louis smiled softly, touching Harry’s wedding ring gently before he hooked out the necklace Harry had bought him in Italy, something he never took off unless he had to. It was warm thanks to the fact it had sat against his skin under his shirt. “Looks beautiful on you,” Harry murmured, eyes on the necklace.

“I love you, Harry. I love that you are doing this for me, for us, for our family. I love that you wrote me beautiful songs in Italy. I love that you bought me this necklace because you likened it to our love. But most of all, I love you, who you are. You have so much love to give, darling, you just need to think of the endgame here, okay? A beautiful baby boy or girl, _your_ baby boy or girl. A beautiful little son or daughter to join our family, a brother or sister for Jake. I know you hate this bit, I don’t especially love it, laying out our lives for scrutiny. But it’ll be worth it, okay?”

Harry sighed, nodding gently. “I know. I do, it’s going to be amazing, to be a dad again, to do the baby bit I missed first time round. You always know the right thing to say to talk me down, Lou. I love you.” He leaned in and kissed Louis softly. They stopped as they heard their names on the tannoy, and stood together. “Shit, here we go.”

“I got you. Come on darling.” Louis led the way, and soon, they were sat in front of Dr Waters’ desk, a nervous Harry chewing on his lip.

“How are we doing, gentleman? Have you had a nice week?”

“Yes, thanks,” Louis answered, aware Harry wasn’t in a place to be speaking much. “Our son is on half term from school, so we’ve just enjoyed some family time.”

“That’s good. Now, Mr Tomlinson, I’ve-”

“Harry, please call me Harry. And he’s Louis, not Mr Tomlinson.”

The doctor chuckled and nodded. “Okay, Harry. Well, I received the results of your bloods, and I’m pleased to confirm they came back entirely clear. This means you’re free to proceed with the process if that’s what you want. Obviously there is no pressure to do anything unless you are happy, but-”

“No, we want to. Please. We want a baby,” Harry muttered, and Louis grinned at him at his assertiveness. “I got the letter from the clinic this week, so I, uh …” He trailed off as embarrassment set in again, cheeks flaming as he chose to not make eye contact with the doctor.

“You’ve refrained from ejaculating over the past three days?” Harry just nodded, and Louis squeezed his hand tightly, comforting him. “Excellent. You would like to proceed with the sperm sample today?”

“Not really, but I kind of have to, right?” Dr Waters nodded and stood up, rifling around in a cupboard before coming back with a small pot, setting it down in front of Harry together with a specimen bag for him to place it in afterwards. “Oh god …”

“I know this isn’t the ideal situation for anyone, Mr- sorry, Harry. But believe me, we are all professionals here, we don’t judge at all. It’s part of our day to day life here at the clinic. I assume you know what you have to do?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Well, there are lockable rooms down the corridor. You can pick any one that has a vacant sign up. Louis, there are seats in the corridor, so if you’d like to wait for Harry there, you can do. When you’re done, please pop the pot into the bag, and seal it at the top. Drop it into one of the collection bins by the desk, and we will process it from there. It’s all labelled with barcodes, not your name to ensure your privacy. Good luck, gentlemen.”

She shook their hands before she passed Harry the things he’d need, and they left, turning right as they came out of the room. They found the row of doors leading into small rooms, and Harry bit his lip, hovering outside.

“Come on, I’ll get you settled,” Louis said, all but pushing Harry in through one of the doors. It opened into a small empty room, a pile of magazines to one side, a chair against one wall. Harry looked around nervously, and Louis went up to him, giving him a hug. “This is nice. Look, the door locks so no need to worry about being walked in on…”

“I wasn’t worrying about that til you said it, thanks for that, Lou…”

“Sorry. But on the plus side, here’s your lady porn stash.” He smirked as he indicated the pile of magazines on the table, a topless woman on the front of one. He just shook his head, pleased the image wasn’t doing a thing for him and turned back to Harry, helping him out of his jacket. “I’ll be outside, okay, I’ll be waiting. I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, love,” Harry muttered as Louis headed for the door. “Wish me luck…”

*****

Harry turned the lock as Louis left the room, and took a deep breath in before releasing it slowly. His cock wasn’t interested at all in what he was about to do, but he knew he had to, if he was going to give himself and Louis the baby they so badly wanted. He also knew this wouldn’t be the only time he was going to have to do this, so he sat down, loosening the belt at his waist.

He glanced over to the magazines and grimaced, turning the top one over so he wouldn’t be put off by the obviously fake boobs emblazoned on the front cover. He shut his eyes and slid his hand into his trousers, but over his boxers, palming himself. He imagined Louis spread out underneath him on the bed, panting and writhing, begging for his cock. He thought about what they were going to do when he got to take Louis to bed later, how he’d take his husband apart, how he’d kiss and touch every part of his perfect body.

Those thoughts got something stirring inside him, and he was pleased when he felt himself start to harden. He squeezed his length slightly, and started mentally running through all the things he’d got up to with Louis in their marriage, how adventurous they’d got in the bedroom together, how Louis had introduced toys into their sex life, how Harry felt when he wore the lingerie Louis bought for him. He moaned lowly, but when a door banged shut, Harry’s eyes flew open and he lost all rhythm, his cock quickly softening again.

He moaned in frustration and tried again, but it wasn’t happening. He was too hyper aware of every little sound, convinced that someone was going to walk in and see Harry Styles mid-wank. The only person who got to see Harry in this state was his husband, and he wasn’t even in here to help. Harry quickly pulled his trousers together and unlocked the door, peering out to see Louis sat opposite him, legs spread, head tilted back, eyes closed. He looked beautiful.

“Oi. Louis. Get your arse here.” Louis’ eyes flew open and he got to his feet, hurrying across the corridor and stood so he was blocking the doorway and any view of Harry.

“What’s wrong? Are you done already?”

“No, I’m not fucking done, I haven’t even started. I can’t do this, Lou. I can't get it up. The magazine are frankly terrifying, my thoughts are good but I can hear every sound, and I’m scared someone’s watching me-”

“Love, come on. This is a reputable fertility clinic. Without being gross, men wank in here every day. It’s nothing new, it’s what these rooms were built for. Now get your arse back in there, think about how I’m gonna make you scream later and how I’m gonna take your cock exactly how you wanna give it to me.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Louis…” Harry was well aware he was whining now, but he didn't care.

“Fine. You’ve pushed me to this, and you only have yourself to blame. You have your phone?” Harry nodded. “Okay, give me a minute once you get in there. When you’re in, sit down and take your trousers and boxers off, and text me and tell you’re ready, okay?”

“What are you-”

“Shut up. You’ll find out. Go. I love you.” He pressed his lips quickly to Harry’s, and Harry disappeared, locking the door again. He kicked off his boots, and wriggled out of his tight jeans, leaving just his boxers on his lower half. He grabbed his phone and sat on the chair again, his hand back inside his underwear, stroking his cock slowly. He quickly tapped out a text to Louis, the only noise the whoosh of his message being sent. Louis replied quickly, and Harry slid his Airpods into his ears as he opened the attachment.

   


He looked down at the screen, grinning when he saw Louis in their bathroom, half naked and looking beautiful.

“ _Hello gorgeous. Desperate times call for desperate measures so… here I am. I’m guessing if you’re watching this, things aren’t going to plan in your wank room with your lady porn, so your loving and ever dedicated husband is here to assist. Uh… thought you might like a little something to get you going.”_

It went silent as Louis panned the camera down his body, and Harry bit back a gasp at the sight of Louis tenting his boxers, a small hand cupped over himself, squeezing and moving slowly.

“ _So, uh, hopefully this will do it for you. Enjoy. Love you, you fucking filthy boy. Oh, and save some for me later, yeah? Need my fair share too…”_

Harry’s eyes bugged out as he watched Louis shuffle out of his boxers, taking his hard length in his hand. Harry's own cock was responding in kind, hardening up and straining at the cotton of Harry’s underwear, and Harry couldn’t bear it, he had to touch. He shoved his own boxers down until his cock popped free and took it, gathering the precome already at the head with his thumb.

He watched Louis’ hand move slowly on his shaft, up and down the soft skin, pulling back the foreskin gently to expose the glistening head. Harry already wanted to get his mouth around it, but settled for biting his lip, watching Louis like a hawk. It was quite simply the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. He flicked the volume button at the side of his phone, turned on by Louis’ deep breaths, and the sound of his hand working over his cock. Harry groaned again as Louis started to talk, spewing out yet more filth as he wanked himself, the camera shaking as Louis struggled to keep it steady.

“ _Shit, feels so good. Not as good as when you touch me, though. Love your big hands on my cock, working me open, getting me ready. Right now, I’m imagining you on your knees for me, like in Italy, sucking me off. Look so good like that, taking my cock in your sinful mouth. Shit, love it so much. We need to do that more, actually. Fuck.. oh god. See how hard you make me? Right now, you’re in our bed, with a massive cock I just wanna sit on, and I can’t do anything about it. Fucking sucks…”_

Harry was getting breathless now, his hand working over himself faster and faster, the bubble of orgasm already burning low inside him. As much as he wished Louis was in the room doing the job for him, this was definitely the next best thing, and he was immensely turned on at the thought of Louis’ recording himself wanking just to turn Harry on. He thumbed over his slit again, biting back a loud moan at the zip of pleasure that ran down his spine, and from what he could see, he knew Louis was close too.

“ _Fuck, I’m gonna fuck you so good tomorrow. Gonna make you come two or three times, you deserve it for being so good and not coming this week. S’been so hard to keep my hands off you, you know. Oh god… love thinking about good you feel around me, so tight and hot, I’m the only one, baby, the only one who gets to make you feel good- oh, ohgod, Harry, fuck, Harry, I-”_

Harry gripped his cock tighter as he watched Louis stroke himself through orgasm, come spurting from his cock and onto his thighs, laying against the tanned skin Harry liked to mark up so much. Louis’ hand didn't still for a minute, but Harry quickly dragged the bar on the video back, replaying that moment again, knowing he was about to send himself over the edge. He grabbed the pot, grateful he’d opened it beforehand and fixed his eyes on the screen again, watching Louis to push himself that bit more.

“Oh, Louis!” Harry came hard, focusing on keeping his eyes open to ensure his come actually went where it was supposed to, trying desperately to catch his breath. As his orgasm subsided, he slumped back down in the chair, entirely spent but ridiculously turned on. He watched the screen as Louis’ red-cheeked face filled it again, a tired and naughty smile on his face.

“ _Well, I hope that did it for you. Not sure I ever want to wank on camera like that again, but fuck, that felt good. Not as good as I’m gonna make you feel later on though, I promise you that. Love you sweetcheeks. Now get me home so we can get baby-making.”_ Louis blew a kiss at the camera before the screen went black, and Harry left it there for a second. He grimaced when he glanced over and saw the pot full of his come, and quickly screwed the lid on, popping it into the bag.

He used some of the tissues on the side to clean himself off a bit and pulled his underwear and trousers back on before unlocking the door. Louis was stood just outside but slipped in, smirking as he did so.

“You fucking dirty boy,” Harry muttered, pressing Louis’ back against the wall, kissing him deeply for a second. “I knew you were up to something in the bathroom this morning, I know your post-come face. Jeez… that was amazing. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah?” Louis was blushing now, but did look a little pleased with himself. “You, uh, come where you needed to?”

Harry nodded and pointed at the open bag on the desk, stunned as Louis went over and pulled it out, looking inquisitively at it. “Louis, really?”

“Harry, I’ve had your come on or in every part of my body, and you think this is weird? Seems you came a lot though, well done, love.”

“This is the weirdest conversation we’ve ever had,” Harry mumbled as he pulled his jacket on and snatched the pot and bag away from Louis, removing the sealing strip and sealing it together. “Come on, wanna go home. Had enough of this place for now. No, I’ll carry it thanks, it’s my stuff.”

“Yeah, that’s in there thanks to me,” Louis quipped and laughed as Harry kissed him again. They walked out the room and towards the reception desk, Harry popping his sample into the collection bin to the side as discretely as he could. They were told they’d be sent an appointment via text, so they headed into the car park together, Louis getting behind the wheel this time. “You look like you’ve just come your brains out, babe. I think I’d better drive, don’t you?”

Harry didn't have the strength to argue and just hummed in agreement, shutting his eyes, relieved to at last released some of the built up tension, already knowing, though, that he needed more.

*****

The drive home felt ridiculously long, and Harry was incredibly antsy sitting there in the chair. His leg was jiggling, he was fiddling with the rings surrounding his fingers, and he couldn’t keep still in his chair much to Louis’ amusement. Louis stayed quiet, the only sound filling the silence the radio playing in the background. Harry practically sighed with relief when Louis carefully drove up the driveway, pulling on the handbrake.

As Harry went to exit the car, excitement and horniess throbbing in his veins, he pulled back puzzled when Louis locked the doors, still sat in his chair behind the wheel. Harry turned his head and frowned at Louis. “Seriously, if you don’t get me inside that house in the next few minutes, Lou, I think I might explode…”

Louis just smirked, and shrugged his shoulders. “Who said anything about getting you indoors, hmm?” Harry just gasped and watched with wide eyes as Louis licked his lips, unbuckling his seat belt before he pushed his chair back and got onto his knees. “Still need to come, babe, hmm? Not enough release earlier?”

Harry just shook his head, Louis’ hand sneaking across the centre divide to palm Harry, smirking at the hardness of his cock underneath his hand. “Fuck, Louis, I-”

“Ssshhhh,” Louis whispered, fingers deftly working Harry’s trousers open, pulling them apart until he could touch Harry’s underwear. Harry stilled, not knowing what to do. “Gonna need you to be quiet, can you do that for me? Can you be good?”

Louis pushed Harry’s boxers down, taking his half-hard shaft in his hand, stroking up and down slightly. Harry cried out as Louis surprised him, bending over the centre console of the car to take Harry’s cock between his lips. He sucked just the tip for a moment, and Harry’s hand came up automatically to fist in Louis’ hair, keeping him in place. It felt amazing to be back inside Louis’ mouth, and part of him never wanted to leave. He ignored the fact he was getting oral sex from his husband in broad daylight, only the privacy of the car doors shielding them from the world, but if he was honest, he quite liked that.

“Oh, fuck, Louis… oh my god, you’re so good, take me so well.” Louis kept bobbing up and down, his small hand fondling Harry’s balls, making Harry moan in pleasure, unable which sensation to focus on more. “Oh, Louis…”

Louis’ tongue was whirling around the sensitive head of Harry’s cock now, driving Harry insane. He kept pushing Louis down further than he knew he could really take him, the gagging sounds Louis was making turning him too much to admit. Louis’ arse was hovering in the air thanks to the way he was bent over, and Harry couldn’t resist reaching over to grab it in his hands, squeezing the flesh over his jeans easily.

“Gonna eat this arse out, wanna taste you, make you scream,” Harry mumbled, his words coming out in a mess. “Fuck, Lou, you gonna swallow?”

Louis just half nodded from where he was, unable to move much with his mouth full of Harry’s cock. He sucked harder then softer, Harry unable to anticipate which was he was going next, making it all the more overwhelming. Harry’s eyes were locked on the sight of Louis’ lips stretched around his girth, and he started pushing up slightly, feeling Louis relax slightly as he let Harry take charge.

“So good, feel so good, love you, fucking hell, I- oh-” Harry started to come hard, holding his breath as he spilled into Louis’ mouth, watching his husband swallow frantically, trying to make sure he didn't make a mess of the car. “Louis, you fucking… oh my god.” Louis eventually popped off, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, looking wrecked. His hair was a mess from where Harry had grabbed it, and there were traces of come at the corner of his mouth.

“Like that?” Louis asked, and Harry moaned at how raspy his voice was from his throat practically being fucked. He smirked and pulled the key from the ignition, unlocking the doors and carefully getting out, feet hitting the concrete. Harry hovered by his door, feeling a little unsteady on his feet, a little out of it. “Well, come on. What are you waiting for?” He sidled over, setting his hands on Harry’s hips for a moment, going up onto his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “I seem to remember you saying something about your mouth and my arse…”

Harry just gaped as Louis whirled around and headed into the house, kicking off his shoes, leaving them where they came off. Harry ignored the mess and stalked after his teasing husband, getting more frustrated the further Louis moved through the house. “Louis, what are you-”

He just hovered in the doorway as Louis stood in the middle of their kitchen and began taking his clothes off. First came his shirt, left puddled in a pool on the tiled floor, Louis sensually running a hand down his own chest, teasing Harry.

“Holy fuck, I… oh Louis... “

Louis took his jeans off, then pulled off his socks, throwing everything to the side, padding across the room in just his tight boxers, his own arousal obvious now. Harry reached out for him, whining as Louis darted just out of reach. He slowly turned around, peering over his shoulder at Harry as he worked his boxers down, baring his arse to Harry who just groaned, needing to touch.

“Get naked.” Harry nodded blindly and tugged off his clothes, doing some rather unsexy twists and turns to get them off in his haste to touch Louis, to be near his husband when he looked like that.

He surged forwards once all his clothes were off, and pulled Louis against him, their bare cocks rubbing together as they kissed deeply, roughly. Harry’s mind was full of nothing but _LouisLouisLouis_ now, and his hands came down, grabbing at Louis’ butt as they kissed, forcing their hips together even more. “What do you want?” he asked huskily, knowing in that moment, Louis could ask anything of him and he’d do it.

“What you promised,” was all Louis said, and Harry wasted no time in pushing Louis backwards a few steps before grabbing his wrist and turning him around, forcing him by the back of the neck to bend over the counter. His arse was sticking and Harry just admired it for a moment, stroking his own cock to the perfect vision in front of him. Slowly but surely, he walked over and got his knees behind Louis, pressing a kiss to each thigh, then each cheek, hands cupping his hips, keeping him in place.

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Want you feel as good as your filthy little video made me feel earlier. You want that?”

“Yeah, so much,” Louis mumbled, pushing his backside out further as if to tell Harry what it was he wanted. “Come on, Harry, I- oh fuck!”

Harry dived in eagerly, licking a stripe from the top of Louis’ arse down to his balls, loving how his husband squirmed under the touch. If there was one thing Harry loved almost more than sex, it was eating Louis out. He loved making his husband squirm from just his tongue, tasting the place that was so intimate, so very _Louis,_ and if he could spend hours with his face buried between his cheeks, he knew that he would.

“I, oh god, Harry-” Louis thumped the worktop with his fist, moaning loudly as Harry worked between his thighs eagerly, hand coming and between to fondle with his cock and balls. Harry loved how Louis wriggled back into it, forcing his tongue to lick him over and over again. Harry continued to tease, working the tip of his index finger in, his tongue licking around it, enjoying how Louis was being stretched for him, how desperate he was.

Harry pointed his tongue, allowing it to slip in next to his finger, moaning against Louis’ skin. Louis was rocking his own hips back and forth now, and Harry was happy to let him control the pace for a minute, knowing how easily Louis got out of his head when he was being eaten out. He pursed his lips and sucked on Louis’ rim gently, a hand gliding over Louis’ cock as he did so. There was something about having power over him like that did it for Harry, and he brought his own free hand down to fondle his own cock.

Precome was sliding down his own shaft, incredibly turned on by Louis’ taste, Louis’ body, just having Louis spread out for him like this. He pulled back for a moment, licking his lips to get some air. “Fuck, you taste so fucking good, Lou. Never wanted you so much, I mean, God- we’re having a baby, I… shit, love it, I-”

“I’m gonna knock you up, but first, make me come. Harry, come on, _please-”_ He reached back and grabbed Harry’s hair, tugging Harry’s face back between his cheeks again, moaning wildly as Harry’s tongue made contact with the place he wanted it the most. They continued in this vein for what felt like forever, Louis rocking into it, Harry’s tongue working over him, making himself a mess. It felt incredible, and Harry never wanted to stop.

“Shit, I- gonna come, Harry- oh-” Louis cursed loudly as Harry pushed his tongue as deep inside as he could get again, stilling as he pushed two fingers in. That was the undoing of Louis and he came hard, splattering the cupboard in front of him with his release, crying out Harry’s name at the top of his voice. Harry stayed on his knees behind him, stroking his own cock, tongue still pressed to Louis’ entrance. He shut his eyes, losing himself in what he was doing, and came himself, aiming to cover Louis’ thighs with it, slightly sore now since it was his second orgasm in such a short period, but still, it felt amazing.

His whole body was trembling with aftershocks and he allowed himself to fall back onto the floor, cock in his hand as he stared up at Louis, loving his husband more than ever. Louis turned and leaned back against the worktop, panting himself, eyes blown, muscles in his body rippling with each deep breath. Louis reached out a hand and Harry took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

“So… wanna get fucked?” Louis asked, wriggling his eyebrows, making them both laughed. Harry hesitated for only a moment before he nodded, knowing that although he was sore, he wanted Louis inside him more than anything. He leaned in and kissed Louis softly, their tongues moving together easily, hands roaming across bodies, bodies that now belonged to each other more than anyone else. Harry hummed into the kiss, bringing his hands up to cup Louis’ smooth cheeks, slightly missing the rough touch of his stubble under his fingertips.

“No more shaving,” he whispered, and Louis just nodded, knowing how much Harry loved his scruff, especially between his thighs. “How..”

“Sit up here.” Louis patted the counter behind him and Harry hopped up, his husband coming to stand between his spread legs. They kissed again, hands on each cocks as they worked each other to full hardness again. Harry was a little surprised his body was almost ready to go again, he’d already come three times but still, the thought of being filled with Louis was all that in his mind.

It didn't take long until Louis was hard too, Harry’s hand gliding easily, using Louis’ come from before to help his glide. Harry moaned as Louis pushed the head of his cock forwards slowly, rubbing it back and forth over Harry’s entrance. Louis brought two fingers up to Harry’s mouth, pushing them inside. Harry’s eyes widened but he allowed Louis entrance sucking eagerly, getting them wet, knowing what Louis planned to do with them in lieu of lube.

Louis slowly worked him open with those two wet fingers, Harry whimpering and whining at the stretch, keeping his legs parted easily as Louis’ hand worked quickly between them, getting him ready for his cock. Harry was sensitive, sore almost but his want for his husband overrode everything else. “ Fuck me, Louis. Need you inside, please, Louis-”

“Okay, I’ve got you,” Louis murmured, slowly withdrawing his fingers, wiping them down on Harry’s bare thigh. Harry shuffled back and shrieked slightly at the cold surface under his warm butt, letting his legs fall open again, exposing himself entirely to Louis. It had been a while since Harry had felt this wanton, had been this desperate to be fucked senseless, but there was nothing he wanted more. Louis stepped forwards, his cock in his hand as he lined up with Harry’s hole, pushing forwards until the tip was inside Harry’s body.

“Oh, Louis, yes, feel so good, more-” Louis nodded and moved his hips forward more, until he bottomed out, his hips resting against Harry’s bare arse. He paused for a minute, both of them catching their breath, Harry adjusting to the stretch. It had only been a few days since they’d alst had sex, nearer a week since Harry had bottomed but this felt like the first time all over again somehow. Harry’s legs came round and wrapped around Louis’ waist, his heels digging into his lower back, pulling Louis deeper inside of him. “Harder, Louis-”

“Shit, want it so much, don’t you?” Louis muttered, grabbing Harry by the hips as he did one particularly hard thrust into him, making Harry cry out as Louis’ cock hit his spot. “Like that, babe?”

“Yeah, more, want it-” Harry murmured, words pouring out of him, oblivious to what he was actually saying as he was so lost in the pleasure of being fucked by his husband. They’d never fucked in the kitchen before, and Harry wished he could see how they looked, moving as one, connected so intimately to each other. Harry pulled back a second, looking deep into Louis’ as Louis moved his hips back and forth, feeling every inch of Louis inside him. “I love you, Louis. So much, so fucking much, my everything-”

“Ssh, I know, baby,” Louis whispered, bringing a hand up to Louis’ shoulder. “Gonna get us off then take you to bed, cuddle and kiss you, show you how much I love you. You want that?”

“So much,” Harry replied, full of love for his husband. “Come on then, make me feel good.” Louis smirked and start thrusting fast, pounding into Harry, drawing grunts and noises out of him, showing Louis how much he was loving every second of being fucked like this. They continued to exchange dirty words, and words of love as they fucked themselves senseless, Harry’s hard cock bobbing between them, dribbling precome on Louis’ bare stomach. “Come in me, want a baby Lou, just with you-”

“Fuck, yeah, gonna knock you up…” Louis murmured and drove his cock deep inside Harry with intent, close himself now. It was silent, the sound of skin on skin clashing with their deep breaths and desperate moans until Louis released, gripping hard on Harry’s hips as he released in him. Harry whined at the feeling, loving the sensation of warmth, come seeping out as Louis continued to drive into him. “Come for me, on my cock-”

Harry glanced down before he dragged his eyes to meet Louis’, startled to see the love and trust in his husband’s eyes. “I love you..” he whispered, and it was Louis dragging him into a deep and dirty kiss that sent Harry flying over the edge, coming hard and untouched between them. He was breathless, dizzy almost with how good Louis was making him feel, and when Louis finally slid out of him, he exhaled, completely overcome with emotion and how good he felt.

He carefully got off the worktop and slumped to the floor, pulling Louis into his lap. Louis immediately curled up, seeking warmth from Harry’s body, neither of them bothered about the various bodily fluids covering their skin. Harry stroked Louis’ fringe off his forehead, kissing his sweaty skin gently, trying to make Louis feel all his love.

“Thank you,” he whispered softly, holding Louis close. “For this, for earlier, for always supporting everything I do. I know I’ve been a bit of a wimp about this whole baby thing, but I want it, Lou. I want this work out. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen, I promise.”

“I know. It’ll happen, I know it. We’re meant to be happy, love, and we are. I just know a baby will add to that happiness, complete us. You deserve only good things, Harry Tomlinson. You’re the most pure, beautiful, kind-hearted man I’ve ever known, and I love you. Pretty good at sex as well, if I’m being honest.”

“Ah, only cos of you,” Harry whispered back in reply, kissing Louis’ lips gently again. “It’s all because of you, Louis. It’s only ever you.”


	68. Walking the Wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis proceed with their plans, they get some time in the studio, and, finally, are confronted by a very confused and emotional Jacob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoy this one! :) 
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts in the comments.

“Take a seat Mr Tomlinson, that’s it, there is fine.” Harry grinned as he lowered himself into the seat next to the desk, watching as Louis dragged the spare seat closer, popping it on the floor next to Harry’s before he sat down too. Harry immediately reached out and took Louis’ hand, holding on tightly as they waited for Dr Waters to deliver her verdict. They’d had to cancel their last appointment thanks to Jacob coming down with a rather vicious stomach bug which had thankfully passed in just a couple of days, but this had been the soonest they’d been able to reschedule it for given Louis was back at work, and Harry was in the studio more often than not.

“How is your son now? My reception team told me when you rang to reschedule he wasn’t well?”

“He’s much better, thank you,” Harry replied, grateful the bug passed, but was even more grateful he and Louis had escaped its wrath. “We took him to an indoor play centre, and I think he caught something there. Bit nasty, but he’s back to his usual vivacious self.”

Dr Waters laughed knowingly at that. “Yes, children do bounce back quickly, don’t they?” Louis and Harry nodded emphatically, watching as the doctor clicked around on her computer, bringing up the results of Harry’s last test at the clinic. “Okay, I won’t keep you waiting any longer, I can see you’re eager to get your results.”

“Yes, please,” Louis asked, smiling slightly over to Harry when he felt his husband’s grip tighten on his own hand.

“Okay, one second…” her eyes moved around the screen quickly until she turned back to Louis and Harry, facing them with her hands resting on the desk in front of her. “Right. Mr Tomlinson, your-”

“Harry, please,” Harry reminded her gently.

“Sorry, yes, Harry. Your results were perfectly within the normal range for your age bracket. We would certainly be able to move forward with the surrogacy process. Once you have decided on the route you want to take with surrogacy, anonymous or open, we can get in contact with your donor and proceed from there. We’d ask you back into the clinic for another sperm donation, and from there, we’d look to create the embryo before implantation.”

Louis felt like his head was spinning a bit. He and Harry had spent countless nights sat in bed in front of the iPad or their laptops, trying to find out as much as they could about the entire process. They’d ended up on many IVF websites, realising it was a similar procedure in terms of creating an embryo and having it implanted into a female’s womb, but the other things, such as surrogacy option, they hadn’t formed a firm opinion on yet.

“Okay, can we slow down a second? Sorry, it’s just a lot to get my head around? So Harry is okay to move forward, his sperm is good?”

“Yes, Louis, his sperm is ‘good’ as you say, his sperm count is within the range we’d be looking for, so it should be no issue to create an embryo using a donor egg. Were you looking to use a donor egg and a separate surrogate, or use the egg from a surrogate? We obviously have options that cater to each of those choices.”

Louis looked to Harry, knowing they’d decided on this particular fact a while ago. “Uh, we’d prefer the surrogate to also be the donor, if that’s possible?”

“Certainly. What I’d like us to discuss now is the requirements you’d like for your surrogate so I can give you some options to take away and discuss together. I realise at the moment it feels like a lot of talk with nothing else happening, but I assure you, this is very much part of the process, and a vital part.”

“Okay, Well, Louis and I haven’t firmly decided whether we want the surrogacy to be open or anonymous just yet, does that affect anything?”

“Possibly. Some of our surrogate mothers, in particular those who choose to donate their own eggs, prefer to meet the potential parents of the surrogate baby. However, the files will be clearly labelled as to their needs, so that may help in your decision. There will no photographs attached to the files, or names or identifying information. However, there will be all the vital information, and if you needed to know anything else, the clinic would be able to obtain that information for you.”

“Great, that sounds fine,” Harry replied, nodding to Louis who nodded too. “We, uh, we wanted someone around our own age, I guess. And the other thing we were both certain on was the fact we want the mother to have Louis’ characteristics, so the baby would hopefully not look too dissimilar to our son and Louis. I realise the baby might have my hair or eyes, but we’d prefer if she was similar physically.”

“That sounds perfectly fine, many couples choose this also.” Dr Waters tapped a few keys on her computer. “I will give you some potential surrogates that are a bit older than you, also. We find a lot of our surrogates already have their own families, so they tend be older than yourselves, particularly you, Harry.”

The conversation with the doctor continued for a while, and by the time they left, clutching a handful of paperwork in their hands, both of them felt a little overwhelmed. Despite the fact this was their third meeting at the clinic, the discussion over the potential surrogate mother made everything seem more real somehow. They headed home, stopping to collect from Anne’s on the way.

“I’m gonna take the dog for a quick walk around the block, are you alright to make a start on dinner, love?” Louis called as he slipped on his trainers, peering around the banister to look at Harry.

“Of course, babe. Is Jake going with you?”

“Dunno. Lemme ask. JAKE!” Harry shook his head at Louis’ yelling. Louis was forever telling Jacob not to yell in the house but wasn’t quite so good at remembering his own rules.

“Yeah?” the little boy’s head appeared over the railing at the top of the stairs, looking down at Louis.

“You coming to walk Percy, or do you want to help Dad with dinner? And no, you can’t play XBox right now, those are your choices.” Louis waited for a second as Jacob mulled the options over.

“Um, I’ll make dinner with Dad, is that okay?” He thundered down the stairs, and hugged Louis around the waist quickly.

“Yeah, course it is, that’s why I gave you the choice. I won’t be long, okay?” Jacob knelt down and kissed Percy’s head as Louis fastened the lead to his collar and headed out of the door, Louis with his earphones in place and Percy eagerly sniffing the ground, looking for any sign of other dogs on his patch, protecting his home as usual.

“What are we making?” Jacob asked, skipping into the kitchen ahead of Harry. He yanked open the door to their huge fridge and rifled around, pulling out a packet of sausages. “Oooh. I want that thing Nanny Anne made me the other day. Um…” he tapped his foot on the floor as he racked his brains, trying to think of the name. “Oh, I can’t remember. It was like frog in a pond or something..”

Harry couldn’t hold back his laughter and cackled loudly while Jacob stood with his hands on his hips, frowning at his dad. “What? Did I say something stupid again?”

“Um, you mean toad in the hole, Jake?” Jacob nodded eagerly, setting the sausages onto the worktop. “I can do that, sure. Right, we need the eggs and flour, and the veggies. Can you sort those things out while I run and get changed? Don’t want to get my nice shirt messy or Dad will tell me off again.”

“Yeah. He tells you off a lot, doesn’t he?”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, pausing in the doorway, looking back at his son was outside the larder cupboard now, looking for box of eggs.

“Well, the other night, you were telling him ‘yes, Louis’ lots, like he was making you agree to being good or something.” Harry’s eyes widened as he stumbled over his words, knowing exactly what Jacob must have overheard. He and Louis had got a bit amorous between the sheets again, and clearly neither of them had heard Jacob get up.

“Um, why were you… why?”

“I needed a wee,” the boy said with a shrug. “But as long as you’re good, Dad won’t tell you off like that again. You did tell him you loved him lots though, so that was nice.”

Harry flushed bright red and escaped the room. He ran upstairs and got changed, promising to himself that he had to talk to Louis about how they had to be quieter when they had sex whenever Jacob was in house, especially now he was getting older and more aware. Still. The thought that they’d been overheard again made him cringe a bit.

He made it back downstairs and was pleased to see Jacob had collected together all of the things he’d asked for, and even put on the apron that was hanging inside the kitchen door. “I’m ready! What do I have to do? Can I help?”

“Definitely. Grab the milk first.” Harry took a mixing bowl from the side and proceeded to talk Jacob through how to make the batter for the Yorkshire pudding, and in the meantime, Louis returned with a rather worn out looking Percy, who had a big drink then curled up into his basket in the corner of the room.

“Okay yum, what are my little chefs making for dinner?” Louis asked, kissing Jacob before coming over and wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist, peering over his shoulder.  

“Frog in the hole!” Jacob said excitedly, dragging Louis over by his hand to show off the batter they’d made while the sausages cooked in the oven. “Look, me and Dad made this, and now we’ve peeled the carrots, and the potatoes too.”

“I can’t wait to eat it, well done! Do you want to go and wash your hands, love?” Louis asked, and Jacob nodded, waiting patiently while Louis undid the tie at the back of his apron and then rang off, singing away to himself. “You alright, babe?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, filling the kettle ready to cook the veggies. “Um, Lou … you know the other night when we… uh…”

“When we…” Louis prompted, not sure what Harry was going on about just yet. He frowned as Harry’s cheeks turned pink and stepped over, stopping his husband from finishing chopping the carrots. “Love?”

“Uh… when we had sex, the other night? When you…” he dropped his voice to a whisper. “When you used the vibrator on me?” Louis grinned and nodded, waiting for Harry to continue. “Well, uh, Jake overheard us? Like, he just dropped it into conversation when you left. He said you tell me off a lot and I was agreeing with you, saying ‘yes Louis’ and telling you I love you.”

“Oh my fucking god,” Louis mumbled, his head in his hands now. “Are you winding me up?”

“You think I’d make this shit up?! No! He heard us, Lou, thank god he didn't come in, we clearly didn't hear get up and move about. No more sex toys when he’s in the house, okay? When we wanna do that stuff, we’ll have to make sure he’s at Mum’s, or your Mums’.”

“Yeah, I agree. Good job he’s going Saturday night then, huh?” Louis teased, and Harry just gasped, flicking at Louis’ bum with the tea towel. “Now, get my dinner ready, husband. I’m hungry.”

Harry just laughed as he carried on with his task, more than happy to prepare the meal for his family. It might be domestic and mundane in some respects but it was this life that Harry lived for.

*****

The following evening found Louis and Harry on the sofa together, flicking through some of the potential surrogate’s paperwork.

“Have you thought about it? Whether or not you wanna meet the surrogate, be involved in the pregnancy?” Louis was curious, as he felt this affected Harry much more than it did himself, and he wanted to know his husband’s thoughts before he voiced his own. “I mean, I’m not too bothered either way to be honest, but I figured you might know what you want.”

“I do, but…” Harry trailed off, shrugging slightly. “I want you to want it too, Lou. It might be my baby, but this is our family, and in this marriage, we make the decisions together. So personally, I’d like to meet her, to be part of it. I didn't get to be part of Jacob’s pregnancy at all, and I know you weren’t hugely hands on either, but I think it’s something I want to do? Obviously, she’ll have to sign some NDAs and stuff because of, well, me, but yeah, I’d like to meet her, and see throughout the pregnancy, as much as she’s comfortable with. What were you thinking?”

“Yeah. I was thinking the same,” Louis replied with a grin. “I get that we have to be careful as we don’t want someone selling us out, but I think with the clinic, we’ll be okay. And you’re right, about me not being so hands on when Faye was pregnant. I’m not proud of it, you know. I was a twatty twenty year old kid who thought if I pretended it wasn’t happening, then it wouldn’t. I missed so much… the scans, the first kick… I was at the birth, but I think I was dreading it so much, I didn't take the time to enjoy it, you know?”

“I get it, Lou. I don’t think badly of you either, so please, don’t think that. It was a lot for you to deal with, as well as Faye, so you both the best of it you could. But I think it’d be nice for the pair of us to be involved this time, maybe go to scans and stuff, be at the hospital when she gives birth?”

“I’d like that,” Louis smiled back. “God, this is real, isn’t it? Shit, babe, we’re having a baby. I never thought this would be my life, you know. I know I’ve said it before, but I mean it. I’m thirty this year, but finally, I feel happy and settled. I want this so much, more kids, the lot. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Harry leaned in and they kissed gently for a moment before Harry moved so he was sat between Louis’ legs, his back against Louis’ warm chest. “So, shall we have a look at these? I can’t believe the amount of information they’ve given us, it’s crazy. But at least we can make an informed decision, I guess?”

“You’re right. And it’s so weird to think the mother of our son or daughter is in this pile somewhere. She’s out there, just waiting for us to pick her. Fuck.”

“Yep. Which means I’m gonna have to come in a cup again, doesn’t it?” Harry groaned at the thought and Louis laughed, rubbing Harry’s arm gently.

“Sorry, love, but yeah, unless you wanna go and have sex with her?”

“Eww, no thanks. Made that mistake once in my teenage naivety and it’s not something I want to repeat, thank you very much. You gonna help me again?”

“Huh?” Louis asked, glancing up from the piece of paper he’d been glancing over. “Help you what?”

“With my sample. Like… a little visual encouragement?” Harry smirked at that and Louis felt his cheeks flush at the insinuation.

“Maybe, if you’re good.” He waggled his eyebrows and shrieked when Harry flipped himself over, straddling Louis’ lap, pressing his hands down on the sofa cushions, hair dangling in his face. “Well, this isn’t the way to get yourself some homemade porn, babe.”

“Don’t make me fear the lady porn again, Louis…” Harry warned, bringing his hands down and tickling Louis’ torso relentlessly. “Say it… say you’ll wank for me again…”

“Fuck… stop! You’re a fucking twat, you know that, ah!” He buried his face into the back cushion as Harry’s fingers dug in, making him cry, kicking out desperately with his legs. “Fine, fuck! You win, you bastard!”

“What do I win?” Harry panted out, stilling his hands for a moment, Louis still pinned down underneath him.

“Your own little video, happy?” Louis groaned, trying to push Harry off him, but of course, his husband was bigger and stronger and didn't budge. “Get off me, you big oaf.”

“That’s not very kind…” Harry murmured, ducking his head so he could kiss Louis, licking over his lips teasingly. “Gonna make you sorry you said that…”

“And how do you… oh, fuck.. Harry-”

*****

 

Harry pushed the headphones back over his ears and nodded to the sound tech, indicating he was ready for the playback to begin. He bopped his head to the beat, mouthing along with the familiar words, a small smile on his face. Harry loved being at the studio Aside from his family home, it was where he was happiest, where he felt most comfortable. He knew how it worked, what the expectations on him were, and he knew how to make it work to his advantage.

The track finished and Harry popped the headset back on the desk. He stood up and came back to the other seat, sitting in front of his notebook, every inch of every page crammed full of technical notes, chords, lyric changes and just general musings Harry jotted down as they worked. This was the tenth of the thirteen tracks for the album to be completed, and he was getting excited. His management team were putting pressure on him now to pick a single, and as much as Harry was excited, the thought of beginning the whole press tour thing filled him with dread. He knew it meant time away from his boys again, and that wasn’t something he was in support of.

“Knock knock,” came a soft voice, and Harry grinned when his husband’s face appeared around the door. He beckoned him and Louis walked inside, waving to the sound technician’s sat in front of the desk before he came and perched on Harry’s leg, kissing him gently. “Sorry I’m late, dropped Jake off at Mum’s but the traffic across town was bloody awful.”

“Don’t worry babe, I knew you were on your way. You ready for this?”

Louis just shrugged, his body language screaming out nerves to Harry, who wrapped his arms tightly around him, trying to ease his fears. “I mean, no? But then, yeah at the same time. I don’t wanna fuck it up for you, you know?”

Harry laughed at that, loving his husband’s candor. “Lou, you’re going to be great. And if you really aren’t feeling it after a couple of go’s, we can stop, okay? But please try, for me?”

Louis got to his feet and nodded. “Yeah, okay, I will. Um, where did you want to start?” He zipped up jacket, shivering slightly and Harry immediately felt endeared, getting up and rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ arms, trying to warm him up slightly. “Thanks, babe.”

“I was thinking we could start with Infinity? You know the harmonies for that chorus, right?” Louis nodded and Harry took his hand, gently leading Louis over to the booth. He picked up a set of headphones, and popped them gently on Louis’ head, kissing his nose before he pulled away. Louis nervously walked up to the microphone and nodded, spreading out the lyric sheets on a stand in front of him. “First run through, we won’t be recording. It’s just for you to get used to the playback, alright?”

The track began to play, and Harry’s heart soared as Louis let himself get into it, his voice picking out the harmonies with ease, complementing Harry’s much raspier tone perfectly. Harry had goosebumps on his forearms by the time Louis had sung it through once, and immediately wished he’d recorded it. “Good?” Louis asked with a cocked eyebrow, and Harry just nodded.

“Perfect. Just like that, please!” He nodded over to the engineer who started the track again. Louis shut his eyes again and swayed gently to the beat, coming in perfectly with the chorus. Even the sound engineer Lucas was grinning by the end, and as Louis held his last note, Harry bit his lip, a little overcome at hearing Louis singing the words that had been written for him, about him, all those weeks ago in Italy.

“Fuck, that was so amazing,” Harry babbled as Louis emerged from the booth, looking a little shy now. “You were so good, I can’t wait for you to do some more, if you’re okay up for it?”

“Uh, can I hear that back first? Wanna make sure I’m not embarrassing myself with this…” Louis looked uncertain all of a sudden, and Harry wanted to make all his fears disappear. Louis absolutely had nothing to feel insecure about, and Harry wanted to put his mind at ease. He watched as the song filled the room and Louis’ face became serious, taking in the words that Harry sang, and his face transformed as he heard himself come in. He looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, that he could sound like that.

“Wow,” was all Louis muttered when the playback had finished, leaving them in silence once more. “Uh, okay, I didn't expect that?”

“What, for you to sound so good? Trust me, that’s all you, babe. You ready for the next one now?”

“Definitely,” Louis said with a grin and a glance at the clock. “Z said to swing by whenever we’re done, he’s happy to entertain Jake and the dog for the rest of the night if needs be.”

They carried on singing, laying down backing vocals for _I Want To Write You A Song,_ taking a break in the middle when Louis got a little too emotional to continue, moved by the words Harry had written just for him. Harry had comforted him, the pair seeking refuge in any empty room to share a cuddle and a kiss before Louis got himself together, and was ready for the final track of the night, the song the pair had written for their son in Italy.

It was soon done, but Harry had had something on his mind since he’d heard Louis sing _Infinity_ shortly after he’d arrived. He just had to build up the courage to ask Louis about it.

“Um, Lou?” Louis looked over from where he was stood at the kettle, making a few cups of tea for everyone. “I’ve got something I want to ask you… I mean, you can say no if you want to, but … can we try something? I had an idea when I heard you sing earlier.”

Louis just shrugged. “Yeah, why not? You want me in the booth again?”

“Please,” Harry asked, heading over to Lucas, asking him to cue up the backing track for Louis. He stepped into the booth with Louis and slid on the other set of headphones, making his husband peer curiously up at him. “Wait and see. You’ll get it in a minute.”

As the opening bars of _Home_ started to play through their headphones, Louis’ eyes widened in recognition. He fishmouthed for a moment, and picked up straight away, knowing where to come in. Harry’s grin broadened as Louis’ voice flooded his ears via the headset, and he came in at the bridge, his falsetto sounding perfect against the track. For the chorus, they sang together, Harry harmonising as Louis carried the main melody.

Harry angled his body so he was facing Louis, and sang to him, meaning every single word as he always did. But this felt more poignant as Louis began the second verse, reaching out and lacing their fingers together as they sang. The rest of the track went seamlessly, their voices blending together beautifully, and when it finished, Harry was so overcome with emotion, he burst into tears. His hands flew up to cover his face but Louis tugged them down gently, pulling Harry into an embrace.

“Hey, come on… I didn't sound that bad, did I?” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. Harry spluttered out a laugh in amongst his tears, and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, sniffing gently. “That song hasn’t brought you to tears in a while, you okay, sweetheart?”

Harry nodded tearfully, giving Louis a wobbly smile. “Yeah, just… feels like it has a different meaning now, in a way. Like, we’re in a different place we were when we wrote it… we’ve got through so much, we’re going to have a baby… you were my home when I first recorded it, and performed it on tour. But now… it’s more, somehow. I don’t … I can’t explain it properly, I-”

“You don’t have to. I get it.”

“I wanna use that.” Harry held Louis’ hands between them, staring deep into his eyes as he spoke. “I want that version on my album, on _Brave._ You and me, singing together. That’s how that song is meant to sound. Everyone loved it on tour when we sang together, so can I, can I use it?”

“Yes.” Louis didn't hesitate to reply, realising in that moment he wanted it, too.

“Really? You… you mean it?” Louis nodded, and got onto his tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s waiting lips. “Louis, you have no idea how much this means to me… this album, it- it’s so personal, it’s like a bit of us going out there, you know? And I want you to be part of it, I know we wrote it, I do, but to have you on it with me, your beautiful voice singing the lyrics we wrote… that’s everything to me, Louis.”

“I love you, Harry, if this is what you want, you can have it, whatever you want, my darling.” He pulled Harry close to his chest again, and they just stood there, letting the time while away as they embraced, sharing an intimate moment, with Harry already more than excited for what the future had to hold.

 

*****

“So, you’ve taken a week to look at the files, have you had a chance to discuss things about your surrogate requirements?”

Louis nodded, looking to Harry, who was doing the same. “Yes. We were actually on the same page with that, we want the surrogacy to be open. We both very much want to be part of the pregnancy, and to meet the person who makes up half of our child’s genetics. It’s a deal-breaker.”

“I understand, Louis. That is why we have two options for the surrogacy, as we’ve discussed before. The open surrogacy, which is what you and Harry are opting for, and the more private closed option. You ensured you looked through the correct pile of candidates?”

“Yes, we selected the ones who were labelled with the open stickers, we have narrowed it down to the three we feel suited us. Um, what happens now?”

“Well, we will get in contact with the three women, and ask them about whether they are currently available. Of course, they are free to decline the proposition, and they have a right to do that for whatever reason they choose, so at the moment, it will be in our hands. We will get in contact on your behalf, and once we know, we will get back to you. Does that sound okay?”

“Sure,” Harry stepped in, tapping his foot nervously on the floor again. “Um, when would we be looking to begin the process, my, uh, donation?”

“Well, that entirely depends on the candidates you have chosen. If one, or more, are available, we’d look to set up a meeting first. As you are asking for an open surrogacy, we’d like you for you to meet them, to be upfront about what you would would be asking of them, in terms of any paperwork they would need to sign for you and so forth. If one of the candidates were willing to proceed, we’d be looking at beginning the first cycle of treatment within 8-12 weeks. We’d need to get the relevant information about where she is in her fertility cycle, and then we would look to harvest her eggs, and create the embryo with your sperm, Harry. Once we have a viable embryo, we would implant it into the surrogate’s womb, and would look to do bloodwork around two weeks after implantation to see if there is any indication of pregnancy.”

Louis exhaled loudly. When Dr Waters put it like that, it seemed there was an awful lot of things to do before they actually got anywhere near getting pregnant, and being able to be excited about welcoming a new child. “Wow, that’s, uh, that’s a lot of information to take in. So the next step is to wait for you to get in contact with the surrogates, and you’ll be in touch with us from then on?”

“Yes, that’s correct, Louis. I understand it is a lot of information to take on board, but we will be taking things one step at a time, and looking to make the process as easy on yourselves and your family as possible. If anything was to change in the meantime, just let us know. Until then, we’ll be in touch.”

“Nothing will change,” Harry hurried to say, wanting to make that clear. “We want this, we want a baby. It’s all I’ve dreamed about since I married Louis, and now it’s nearly here, I can’t stop thinking about it, having another baby with my husband. This is just… god, you have no idea how much this all means to me right now.” Louis grabbed his hand and grinned at Harry’s emotional outburst, pleased to hear he was as passionate as ever about having a child together.

“That’s good to hear, Harry. I will send off the paperwork tomorrow morning and we will go from there, okay? It’s a pleasure to see you both, as always.” Dr Waters got to her feet, and shook their hands, smiling as they left the room together. They headed outside into the car park, and got into the car, ready for the drive home. Louis sighed as he sat behind the wheel, joining a long line of traffic, foot on the brake as he did.

“You really doing okay with all of this?” Louis asked, glancing across to his husband. Thanks to the counselling, they were much better at voicing their emotions, Louis in particular, but he always liked to check in with Harry and make sure things were okay, knowing how sometimes Harry let things get on top of him.

“Yeah. It’s a lot, that’s for sure, and I’m nervous to meet the woman who’s going to be our child’s biological mother but… this is what I want, Louis. I do. I wish we didn't have to do all this, but since it’s the only way, I’m willing to do whatever it takes, I promise. I hate all the medical side of it, but I think once we know there’s a baby on the way, I’ll feel so much better about it all.”

“Me too. I just… I hope she’s nice, you know? The one we pick?”

“She will be. Only nice people offer to carry babies for other couples, Lou. I wonder how she’ll be, though, like, as a person. More like me, or you?”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, frowning quickly as he indicated and turned onto another road.

“Well, if she’ll be, uh…” he trailed off, looking out of the window. “Loud? Or quiet? More of an introvert? Or an extrovert? I mean, I don’t care either way, but she’s still going to be half of our son or daughter, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess. I think Jacob has taken a lot from me, to be honest. But then again, he only grew up with me, so he only had my lead to follow in terms of behaviour, and how to act and stuff. So maybe, regardless of what the mother we choose is like, our baby will turn out a bit like both of us anyway? We’ll be raising him or her together, making them part of our family, so surely, that has to be important, right?”

“Of course. You did an amazing job with Jake, sweetheart, and I just, fuck, I can’t wait to see you holding our son or daughter, cradling them in your arms, singing to them. It’s gonna be the best moment of my life, I swear to god.”

“Oi! I thought that was when you married me!” Louis joked, making Harry laugh in the passenger seat.

“Alright, joint top, then,” Harry acquiesced, smirking as Louis pulled into the driveway of Jay and Dan’s house. There was a faint glow from behind the curtains of the living room, and the pair quietly slipped out of the car and headed up the path. Louis let himself in with his key, and they kicked off their shoes, leaving them in the hall as they walked through to the living room. Louis frowned when he peered around at the multitude of children laying across sofas, but none of them were his son.

Jay caught his eye from where she was sat on an armchair, and pointed upstairs. Louis nodded and grabbed Harry’s hand, tugging him down so he could whisper into his ear and not interrupting the movie the other children were watching.

“I’ll go get him, okay? Back in a tick.” He kissed Harry quickly and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Most of the bedroom doors were open but Jay and Dan’s was firmly shut, and Louis could see a slither of light coming from underneath it, telling him that’s where his son was hidden away. He knocked a couple of times before he walked inside, greeted by Jacob’s back, where he was laid on the bed, facing the window.

“Hey love, you alright?” Louis said softly as he walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “Why you hiding out up here then?”

“Dunno. Just wanted to be on my own,” Jacob mumbled, his voice low and not full of cheer as it usually was. “Are we going home?”

“Yeah, if you want to-” Louis began, but already, Jacob had rolled off the bed and was walking around to the door. “Hey, buddy. Stop, talk to me.”

“No point,” Jacob said as he walked out, going down the stairs as quickly as he could. Louis sighed and got up from the bed, walking downstairs after his son. Harry threw Louis a look of confusion as Jacob stomped into the sitting room, grabbing his things and hugging Jay and Dan before he stood in the hallway, arms folded and face full of something very unhappy. Dan beckoned Louis to the kitchen while Harry took Jacob out to the car, trying and failing to initiate some conversation with the little boy.

“Sorry, Louis. He came out of school in a strange mood, and he hasn’t cheered up. He asked to go upstairs instead of watching the film. Jay and I have tried talking to him, and so has Fizzy before she left earlier, but he didn't want to tell us anything.”

“He was okay this morning, I don’t get it,” Louis muttered, puzzling over what might have happened. “Did his teacher say anything to Mum when she got him?”

“No, she didn't say anything. Maybe have a chat with him tomorrow, see if he’s in a better mood then?”

“Yeah, will do,” Louis said with a nod. “Thanks, Dan. I appreciate you having him and just letting him do what he needed tonight.”

“Of course, anytime,” Dan said, slapping Louis’ shoulder as they headed back. Louis bent down and kissed his mum’s head softly, promising to call her tomorrow. He joined Harry and Jacob in the car, noticing the silence in the car as he buckled himself in. He chose not to say anything, and Harry set off, driving home in the darkness.

Jacob hopped out of the car when it was safely parked, grabbing his bag and waiting quietly by the front door as Louis and Harry got out, communicating silently with just their eyes. Louis nodded as Harry indicated he was going to take the dog for a walk, and followed their son up the stairs, hovering outside his bedroom door for a moment.

“Jake, can I come in?” Louis called out, and when he had no reply, he entered anyway, sitting down on Jacob’s desk chair, opposite the boy who was laid out on the bed. “Love, are you going to tell me what the matter is? Did something happen at school?”

“No.” Jacob rolled over again so he wasn’t facing Louis, still fully dressed. Usually, Jacob was the first one to strip off into his pyjamas when he got home, so Louis definitely knew something was up. “Can I have some milk before bed? Please?”

“Yeah, I’ll go and sort that. Will you come down and drink it, though? Dad will be home from walking Percy in a minute.” Jacob just nodded and Louis slipped out of the room, not really knowing what to do since Jacob was clearly not going to open up. He changed his jeans into some joggers and a comfy t-shirt of Harry’s before heading downstairs, preparing he and Harry some tea, and Jacob some milk.

He was sat on the sofa by the time Harry returned and Jacob came down. Harry sat next to him but Jacob curled up on the floor next to their sleepy dog. Harry sighed and Louis nodded, telling him it was worth him trying to talk to Jacob, maybe he would open up to Harry. Who knew.

“Jake? Can you come here please?” Jacob just shook his head and remained on the floor. “Love, you know what Doctor Katie has told you about talking about things that are worrying you. Is it your friends at school? Was someone mean?”

“No, Dad, I-”

“Because if they are, Jake, we can help-”

“No! It’s not my friends, it’s you! You and Dad!” He sat up then and Harry and Louis sat on the sofa, a bit startled at the emotional outburst. Jacob clumsily shoved his cup onto the coffee table, splashing a little out of the side as he stood up, cheeks reddening rather quickly. “You are always going off without me, like you want to forget about me! Why don’t you want me to go places with you anymore?”

Louis bit his lip, hating that his son felt that way. “Sweetheart, we don’t leave you behind all the time, sometimes we have to because we have grown up things to do-”

“You ALWAYS say that, that it’s grown up stuff. You never want to do anything with me anymore and I hate it! I HATE YOU! BOTH OF YOU!” Jacob sobbed then and ran out of the room. Louis just stared at the milk on the table, not knowing what to do. Jacob hadn’t really ever used those words with venom before, but he had tonight, and it broke Louis’ heart. Harry pulled him into a quick hug then, both of them wanting to give Jacob a minute before they chased after him.

“We need to tell him, don’t we?” Harry whispered, and Louis just nodded against his chest, wiping away a stray tear, watching as Harry pulled away and mopped up the spilt milk with a few tissues, going to the kitchen to take out the cup and tissues before he rejoined Louis.

They could hear the little boy crying in his room, and, holding hands, they walked up the stairs. Jacob’s door was still open so they went inside. Harry sat on the bed, stroking Jacob’s back while Louis crouched down, pushing Jacob’s fringe out of his eyes.

“Jacob, you need to listen to us,” Louis began, speaking softly, hating listening to his son cry. “Please, love. I am- no, _we_ are so sorry you feel that way, that we have left you out of things. That is the last thing we would ever want you to think. But you are right, Dad and I have been leaving you with Nanny Jay or Nanny Anne a lot lately. We hoped you liked being with them but-”

“I do. I love my nannies but I miss my daddies more.” Louis’ heart broke at those words, and Harry looked like he was struggling to hold himself together too.  “I just…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“You know we’ve been recording Daddy’s new album, yes?” Jacob nodded. “That’s where we were the other night, like we told you. I know Dad sent you some pictures. And we would love you to come with us next time, watch how we make the songs, and sing. But that’s not all we’ve been doing.”

Harry took over then, watching as Jacob sat up, taking each of his parents hands in his own. “There’s something Daddy and I have wanted for a long time, love. And that’s where we have been for most of the other times we have been away.”

“Doing what? I don’t understand, Dad,” Jacob said quietly, his voice small and meek now. Louis and Harry locked eyes for a moment, feeling nervous about finally revealing to Jacob what they had been up to. To say it out loud to someone was a big step, and their bellies were both fluttering with excitement.

“Daddy and I… we’re trying to have another baby,” Harry explained, a small smile crossing his lips at the admission. “Because we’re two boys, we can’t have a baby like other mummies and daddies, so we need a bit of help to do it. Some clever doctors are helping us find a lady who will be a home for the baby while they grow. Then, when they’re born, they will come and live here with us, with you, me, Daddy and Percy.”

Louis sat nervously, waiting for his son’s verdict to the news Harry had delivered.

“But why?”

Jacob’s little face looked sad, which was the last thing Louis had expected. He waited for Jacob to say more and when he didn't, he stepped in. “Why what, love?”

“Why do you want another baby? Am I not enough?”

Louis felt his jaw drop at that question, and hurried to answer it, to dismiss it as nonsense. “What- that’s- no, Jacob, that is not what this is about, love, I promise you.”

“But Dad, I thought you were adopting me so I could be your boy like I’m Daddy’s boy properly. Is… are we not doing that now, if you’re having a brand new baby together?”

“Oh my darling,” Harry muttered, pulling Jacob into his lap, holding him close. “You know what? You’re the best boy in the whole wide world, and I am so lucky to be adopting you and making you my little boy forever. I want that more than anything, and I can’t wait for the day when that piece of paper arrives so I can tell the world you’re mine, okay? But me and Daddy wanting another baby has nothing to do with you. Wouldn’t you like a brother or sister?”

Jacob just shrugged again, so Harry carried on. “When two people love each other very much, and they have lots of love to give, they want to give that love to more people. People want children together because they want their family to grow. And that’s what Daddy and I want, with you. We want another baby to love and to raise to be big and strong like you.”

“So you still love me?” Jacob whispered, and Harry and Louis nodded quickly. “Okay. Can I go to sleep now?” They were both a little surprised by how their son had cut off the conversation but they allowed him to get changed and brush his teeth, tucking him in together. “I don’t want story tonight. I love you both.”

“We love you, too,” Louis said, kissing his son’s head. “You can talk to us tomorrow, if you want, anytime.” They left and curled up on the sofa together, flicking something on the telly to fill the strange silence that had settled in the room. “Well, I didn't expect it go like that. I thought he’d be excited.” Louis’ heart ached at the things his son had said earlier, that he could ever think Louis and Harry would want to replace him, that they might not love him anymore because of a new baby.

“I know, me too. But he’s young, Lou, so young. To him, this is huge. For eight years, it’s just been him and either you, or you and me. He’s never had to compete for love, or our affection, or time. It’s a big thing, to suddenly throw the idea of a baby brother or sister into his life. Let’s give him time, see if he comes around. If not, maybe we could ask Katie to talk to him about it at the next appointment?”

“Good idea. Shit, it’s kind of made me wish we’d talked to him about it sooner, you know? That we hadn’t let him think we were sneaking off, or away from him.”

“Lou, you know we couldn’t. What if we’d told him, and then we found out we couldn’t have a baby, for whatever reason? Explaining that to him would have been so much harder than this.” Louis nodded and shifted until he was sat between Harry’s legs, both paying a little attention now to the television, trying to focus on something else other than their emotions for a while.

*

Louis had dozed off against Harry’s chest, but Harry’s fingers continued stroking his arms, loving how soft they were, how plaint Louis was when he was asleep. He knew Jacob’s words earlier had affected his husband deeply, and he wished he could make things between for both of his boys. He pulled the blanket up over Louis and flicked the channels, trying to find something to watch until he could get up the energy to go to bed.

“Daddy?”

Harry startled as he heard a voice, and twisted around, shocked to see Jacob stood in the doorway in his little pyjamas, feet bare and looking incredibly nervous.

“Love? Oh Jacob, what are you doing up sweetheart, it’s late. Come here.” He tapped Louis’ arm several times until Louis stirred, glancing around but sitting up when he spotted Jacob. He rolled onto his side between Harry’s leg and lifted the boy on, pulling him against his body under the blanket. Harry’s hands came down to settle on both of them, stroking softly, in a comforting way. “Did you want to talk, sweetheart?”

“Um, I kinda had something to say?” Jacob mumbled, voice low with sleep, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open despite the fact he was up and about. “I’m sorry I was mean about you and Daddy wanting to have a new baby.”

“It’s okay,” Louis whispered, wanting Jacob to know that he and Harry weren’t cross with him. “We understand, it’s a lot to take in.”

“But I think I sort of get it? Like, why you want a baby?” They stayed silent, hoping Jacob would continue. “Like… Nanny Jay has lots of children, and she loves them all a lot, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. Nanny loves all of her children, and you, all the same, I promise.”

“So… you and Daddy, you’re going to love the baby the same as you love me? Nanny Jay loves Lottie and Fizzy and everyone all the same, she doesn’t love Daddy more because he is the biggest one and was borned first. So maybe… you won’t love the baby more than you love me, and you won’t forget about me or anything?”

“Never,” Harry vowed. “That could never, ever happen. You’re our biggest boy, and we love you so much. We’re going to need your help lots, and I bet you’re going to be the best big brother in the whole world.”

“Okay,” Jacob said slowly, with a nod of his head. “When is the baby coming? Is it soon?”

“No, love,” Louis laughed gently, holding Jacob close again. “We haven’t got a baby yet. Daddy and I are finding the nice lady who is going to help us have a baby. But when we find out we are getting a baby, we promise we will tell you, okay? You’ll be the first person in the whole world who finds out.”

“Even before my nannies?”

“Yep, even before them.” Jacob nodded, his eyes closing for a second before they cracked open, peering up and Harry and then Louis.

“I’d like a little sister,” he said quietly, a small smile on his lips. “I’d like to look after her, and show her how to play and read, and play football with her in the garden. I think I’d like that.”

“I think we’d like that, too,” Harry mumbled with a smile, tears filling his eyes as he held his boys close again. “You’re going to be an amazing brother.”

“And Daddy? Dad?”

“Yes, love?” Louis asked, stroking Jacob’s cheek.

“I’d like to call her Scarlet Overkill, like in the Minions.” Harry’s eyes widened as they look down at Louis, both trying to hold back their laughter. In his sleep, Jacob mumbled again. “But if I have to have a brother, let’s call him Tony Stark.”


	69. Life's About To Get Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry make time for Jacob, Louis helps Harry to unwind, and finally, they meet their potential surrogate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! I am getting so excited by all this now, things are getting exciting for our Tomlinson family! Really hope you enjoy this one, more soon! Your comments as always make my day. xx

“Dad, where are we going?” Louis peered into the rearview mirror and grinned at Jacob. The little boy had been in a bit of a tizzy since breakfast when Louis and Harry had told him they were taking him somewhere. He’d begged to told ever since but neither of them had given in, keen to make it a surprise. It was, in fact, somewhere Jacob had been asking to go for a while since he’d seen something in Anne’s house from there, and Harry had thought it might be a nice bonding exercise for the three of them, given how their son was feeling about being parted from them so often lately.

Things had been a little better since Jacob had broken down, and they’d revealed to him they were trying to add to their family. He’d asked lots of questions, trying to get his head around how they would have a baby since neither Louis or Harry could ‘get a big tummy like Anna’s Mum’, which had made Harry rather sad for a few minutes. Louis had hugged him, reassuring him quietly that he would make an amazing pregnant person, and they’d had fun with that idea that night in bed too. It had become quite a thing for them since then, if they were honest, and both of them were loving how it added a new element to their already great sex life.

Louis pulled up outside the studio where they were picking up Harry, and Jacob waited for the go-ahead to hop out, unclipping his seat belt and running towards the doors of the familiar building. They’d all been there often enough to know their way around and Jacob dashed ahead of Louis as they got inside, banging on the door of where he knew Harry was. It creaked open, and Jacob jumped in excitement as Harry greeted him, hugging his Dad tightly.

“Hi! Have you been making new songs? Can I hear?” Jacob practically shoved Harry to the side to get in, and picked up some headphones, chatting excitedly to Harry’s producers and sound engineers, who were luckily used to the boy’s excitement, and started playing back the new track they’d finished off today. Jacob was singing along at the top of his lungs, seemingly unaware of the fact no one else in the room could hear the playback except for him. Harry grabbed his phone and videoed quietly until Jacob stopped and took off the headphones.

“Well, that was quite good Dad, your voice is pretty. I like it.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then,” Harry replied with an amused expression. He turned to Louis as Jacob wriggled himself onto the lap of one of the producers, asking questions about all the buttons in front of him, trying desperately to hold himself back from touching them. The pretty lights were far too tempting to a curious eight year old. “Lou, management popped in. I told them I was going for  _ Hey Angel  _ as the lead single. I think they were surprised as they felt I was leaning towards Infinity, but when I explained I wanted to put the new album out there with a bit of a banger as the first one, they understood.”

“And they liked it?” Louis asked, nibbling at his fingernail gently. It was a song he and Harry had written together after Italy but it had come together quickly, and it was another that featured Louis on backing vocals. They’d listened to the whole thing the other day for the first time, and now they were sure it was the one Harry wanted to put out first, the nerves and excitement were setting in.

“Yeah, we played back a few times, and they liked it. They’re going to set up some radio promo for the next few weeks, a few telly spots as well, maybe. Feels weird to be going back into all this, if I’m honest.”

“Ah, you’ll be great. We can tag along too, if you want, work permitting of course.” 

“I’d love that, I’d love to have you two with me. I know Jake likes seeing all that stuff.” They grinned as Jacob thanked Matt and ran over to them, tugging on Harry’s shirt sleeve.

“Can we go please? I want to see where my surprise is, you’ve made me wait all day!”

“Love, it’s been about five hours since breakfast but…” Harry trailed off and waggled his eyebrows at Louis for a moment, knowing he was teasing his young son. “Okay then.”

“YAY!” Jacob dashed to the door, screaming a loud goodbye to everyone as his little feet thundered down the corridor, an apologetic Louis taking off in his wake, leaving Harry to thank everyone and say goodbye properly. He soon joined Louis and Jacob back in the car, turning around to grin to his son as Louis headed off towards their destination. Jacob chatted all the way until they pulled up outside the ceramic painting shop, eyes widening when he realised where they were. “Are we really here? Really?”

“Really,” Louis replied with a smile as Harry got out of the car, helping Jacob jump down even though he knew the boy didn't really need any help. “Excited?”

“Yeah, I’ve wanted to come here forever!” Jacob jumped up and down in excitement, grabbing Harry’s hand and dragging him towards the shop. They looked around for cars as they walked towards the entrance, and a little bell chimed as they went inside. Jacob went quiet as he looked around, taking in his surroundings. The family waited at a desk until an older man walked over, smiling at them.

“Hello, did you have a table booked?”

“Yes, we did. Name of Tomlinson, for three?” Louis grinned at the man and nodded when he indicated that they should follow. “Could you talk us through it? We’ve never been here before.”

“Sure. You can choose any of the pieces you like that are on display, and then take a paint palette from near the till over there. There’s a selection of brushes and sponges available to use, but of course, the design is entirely up to you. When you’re done, make sure your name is on the bottom of the item and hand it in to Jenna, she’ll take it and file it away for glazing, and then you’ll be called when it’s available to be picked up.”

“Great, thank you so much,” Harry murmured, watching Jacob who was wandering around, trying to work out what he wanted to do. He stood up and joined his son, a soft hand on his shoulder. “Any thoughts, love?”

“I like that one,” Jacob said, pointing at a oval shaped plate on a top shelf. Harry reached up, carefully lifting it down, passing it to the little boy next to him. “Can we do this one?”

“Of course,” Harry said, leading Jacob back to the table. Louis had disappeared, but a quick glance around told Harry he’d gone to grab a selection of paints and an apron for Jacob. He put the plate down and watched Louis get his son into the apron while Harry rolled back his own sleeves, excited to get started, under Jacob’s guidance of course. “Right, what first?”

“I want to do handprints,” Jacob said emphatically, reaching over to pick up a tube of paint, squeezing a little onto the tray. “Is that okay?”

“Your design, love. You do what you want,” Louis said, smiling at his son who was now on his feet, reaching for a paintbrush. “You want a hand?”

“Yes, please!” Louis reached for the brush and dabbed in into the bright blue paint Jacob had chosen. He laughed when the cold paint touched Jacob’s skin and he shrieked, jumping back until Harry held his arm still so paint didn't fly everywhere. Once it was done, they watched as Jacob put his hand down in the centre, and pressed on it, making sure the print would come out boldly. He gasped when he lifted it off to see his print there, standing out against the pale white ceramic background.

They spent another hour there, with Jacob painting one of Harry’s and Louis’ hands and making their prints either side of his own. He asked them to turn away while he grabbed one of the special paint pens, writing something as neatly as he could, the words written on the Notes app of Harry’s phone so he could spell them correctly. They’d done as he asked and washed their red and green hands as he wrote, his little tongue pointing out to the side as he did so.

“Dad! Dad! Come and see!” A few of the other patrons turned to smile at his excited voice, and Harry and Louis walked over, leaning over his shoulders to look down.

“Oh, love…” Harry felt a lump in his throat at what Jacob had done. It was perfect. He had drawn hearts in different colours around the edge of the plate, a colourful rainbow border of love, and he’d carefully penned their names in the middle, with (Dad) written underneath each of Louis and Harry’s names. It was perfect, and Louis knew he was feeling a little emotional too. “It’s so beautiful, well done.”

“What do we now? Cos if I eat on it, all the paint will smudge and it’ll be ruined.” Jacob’s little pout made Louis chuckle, and he picked it up carefully, taking care not to touch any of the wet paint. “Dad! Don’t ruin it!”

“Come with me. Look, we have to take it over here and they are going to put some special varnish on it, and bake it in the special plate oven called a kiln, and then we can come and pick it up in about a week, okay?” Jacob nodded and waiting quietly at Louis’ side as the lady, Jenna, her name tag read, behind the desk finished up with her last customer. “Hi, just this one, thanks.”

“Fab, you’ve done a great job, did you paint this?” she asked Jacob, who nodded eagerly.

“Yep! It’s for me and my dads cos we’re a family, and Dad, not this dad, my other dad, he’s over there, said he can put it on the wall!” Louis laughed at the woman’s confused expression, mind clearly blown by Jacob’s convoluted explanation of his family unit. “Will you please be extra careful with my plate because I don’t want to break it, it’s very special.”

“We will be super careful, I promise. What name did you want to put it under?” Louis looked to his son who quickly jumped in.

“Jacob! That’s me, I’m Jacob Tomlinson.” The lady nodded and wrote the name on a small label which she stuck on the underside of the plate. “When will it be ready, please?”

“Um…” Jenna turned to look at a calendar on the wall, quickly doing a calculation in her head. “Well, today is Saturday, so I would say… Friday? Could you come by then and collect?”

Jacob gasped again, tugging on Louis’ arm. “Yes! Me and Dad can come here after school when he picks me up, please Dad!”

Louis laughed, nodding and trying to still his son who now bouncing around at his side. “Yes, of course, that’s fine. It’ll probably be my husband collecting it, though, as Jacob said.” Jenna peered around Louis, trying to find his husband. He could see her looking, and pointed out Harry, who was wiping the table with a cloth, ever a studious tidier. He could her eyes light up in recognition, and her cheeks went pink at the sight of Harry.

“Oh, um… is that Harry Styles?”

“No.” Jacob folded his arms and stomped his foot on the floor, leaving Louis a bit perplexed. “He’s not Harry Styles. He’s Harry Tomlinson and he’s my Dad. He’s only Harry Styles when he’s on stage. But he’s mine and you can’t have him.” Jacob marched over to Harry at that and grabbed his hand, pulling Harry down so he could whisper something in his ear, and he watched as Harry listened. Harry then crouched down, looking at the boy who now looked a little ashamed of himself, and slowly, they came over.

“Jacob, did you have something to say?” Harry said in a low voice, smiling apologetically at Jenna, who was getting redder in the face by the second.

“Um. I’m sorry. I just hate when everyone wants photos because he’s my daddy and this is our time together. I didn't mean to be rude, that wasn’t kind, and Daddy says I must always be kind.”

“Thank you for saying sorry, that’s very grown up of you. But I wasn’t going to interrupt your family time, I promise. I’ll let you get on with your day, and we’ll give you a call to confirm when your plate is ready for collection.”

“That’s great, thank you,” Harry rumbled while Louis slipped over to the till to pay for their item. “I really am sorry about my son, he can be a little… possessive?”

“I understand. Not a worry, he’s a child, it must be difficult for him at times.” Harry agreed but quickly ended the conversation, heading out to the car with Jacob still holding his hand, staking his claim on his dad. They headed into town, needing to pick up a present for Jacob’s friend, whose sleepover he was going on later that day. He’d been a little reluctant, but Louis had talked him into it, promising the boy he’d like it when he was there, and that if he wanted to come home, that was okay too. 

A few hours later, the present was wrapped in a nice Iron Man gift bag, and Jacob was dressed in his favourite Avengers t-shirt with his skinny jeans and Converse on his feet. His rucksack with his pyjamas was sat on the seat next to him, and he’d spent a good ten minutes kissing Percy goodbye, making both Louis and Harry promise to kiss him goodnight from him before they went to bed. Harry dropped the boy off and on the way home, stopped at the florist near their house.

A short while later, he walked in through the front door of his house clutching a bunch of pink roses. Louis always loved roses, and Harry had felt a sudden urge to spoil his husband. He bent down to ruffle Percy’s ears, the puppy eagerly running in circles around his feet before he headed into the kitchen to feed him, knowing he’d get a bit of alone time with Louis if the dog had a full tummy. 

“Lou?” There was silence so Harry picked up the flowers from the table and headed upstairs, smiling when he smelt a familiar scent wafting from the bathroom. He called out again, keen not to scare Louis and hurried to his room when he heard Louis reply from there. He knocked quickly on the door before he walked in, and held the flowers in front of him as he went in. Louis’ smile, as always, made it worth it.

 

*****

 

“Oh, Harry…” Louis mumbled, walking forwards to take the flowers from his husband, who was now as pink as the blooms in front of him. “What’s this for?”

Harry shrugged, and Louis pushed up onto his tiptoes to kiss him quickly. “Just wanted to get you something nice. You’ve been amazing lately, especially because I’ve been stressing out about meeting the surrogate next week.”

“Hey, it’s normal, you know. This is a massive deal, so feeling stressed out about it is fine, love. I’m just glad I can support you. I wanted to spoil you tonight, actually, since we’re alone and Jacob doesn’t feel like we’re abandoning him. Is that okay?”

Harry just nodded, and Louis turned, laying the flowers on the already made bed behind him. “I’d love that. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I’ve run us a bath, thought we could get in there together first, have a bit of a soak, relax a bit? Then… well, actually, wait and see. Let me surprise you for once.” Harry’s eyes sparkled as he pulled Louis into another lazy kiss, the pair of them losing themselves in it for a moment until Louis reluctantly pulled away, a hand on Harry’s chest, feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart. “Come on, the bath will get cold.”

They stripped off in their bedroom, not worried about nudity thanks to Jacob being elsewhere and walked into the bathroom. Louis had used one of Harry’s favourite bath bombs, and the bathwater had turned a soft shade of pink. Louis had also lit some small tea light candles around the room, and it all felt very romantic.

“Oh, love… this is beautiful,” Harry hummed, stepping into the tub before holding out a hand for Louis to climb in too, settling down together in the deep, warm water. Louis’ back was pressed against Harry’s chest, and their hands were linked and resting on Louis’ tummy. It was silent in the house, and they sat there for a short while, just soaking in the water, relishing in the silence, and not have any responsibilities.

“So… talk to me,” Louis began, his voice soft and delicate in the quiet bathroom. Harry began stroking his fingertips across Louis’ chest, brushing over his nipples as he waited to see what Louis wanted him to talk about. “How are you feeling about the meeting? And be honest, love.”

“I’m scared, Louis. What if she doesn’t like us? The other two surrogates weren’t available for us, so we’ll be back to square one if not. And… I know she knows one of us is in the public eye, but maybe she won’t like me or something, and then I’ll have spoilt it for us-”

“Well, enough of that right now,” Louis cut in, splashing slightly as he turned his body so he could look into Harry’s eyes. “Whatever happens, we’re in this together, okay? And why wouldn’t she like us? We’re nice people, we already have a child so we’ve proved we can raise little human beings, we’re financially comfortable and we’re happily married. There’s nothing not to like. We just need to be ourselves, and she’ll like us, I’m sure of it.”

“I love that you’re so positive, love,” Harry mumbled raising his hands to wet Louis’ hair slightly. “Can I wash your hair, Lou?” Louis nodded, knowing it was Harry’s way of distracting himself from the conversation. “I’m also worried about doing one of those stupid donations again if she likes us and it can all go ahead.”

“I already promised to help with that, okay? Please don’t stress out, Harry. This is meant to be one of the most exciting times of our lives…”

“It is, Lou. I want this, so much. I want us to have a baby, to have a bigger family. I guess it’s just daunting because I don’t know what’s happening and I don’t really have any control over any of it. That’s the crux of my problem, actually.”

“No control?” Louis said, laughing when he realised what he’d said. “Haha, totally didn't mean that.”

“Liar,” Harry teased, reaching for the shampoo, squirting a good amount into his palm before he angled Louis’ head back so he could massage the shampoo in. “Actually, talking of work for a sec, my team want me to come in next week, and asked you to come too. Think they want to talk promo for the new single, can’t believe it’s coming out in two weeks.”

“Well, I’m excited,” Louis started, closing his eyes as Harry used the shower attachment to rinse his hair, his big fingers working out the suds. “I’ve seen all the tweets and how excited your fans are for it. I just hope they don’t mind the odd appearance by yours truly.”

“Nah, they’ll love it. Wash mine?” Louis nodded and got onto his knees, kissing Harry quickly before he washed Harry’s long hair. “Do you think I should cut it?”

“Up to you,” Louis mumbled. “I get if you want to for the promo and stuff, I don’t mind either way. You’d be gorgeous to me if you were bald.” That made Harry laugh, and his voice echoed off the tiles. They finished washing each other, and Louis was pleased when he got out and nothing sexual had occured. “You wait there a moment, okay?”

Harry nodded and sunk back down into the water, his eyes closing as he relaxed. Louis slipped a fluffy towel around his waist and headed into the bedroom, drying himself and pulling on some boxers as he laid out a couple of things for the next part of their evening, leaving them on the edge of the bed, flitting around the room and lighting a few of Harry’s favourite Jo Malone candles, filling the room with a soft scent. He returned to the bathroom and held out a towel for Harry as his husband rose from the water, heartbeat racing as he took in Harry’s curves, his black tattoos standing out on his pale skin. The only jewellery he was wearing was his wedding ring, and the sight sent sparks through Louis’ body.

“Come on,” he said, voice low and husky. They quickly blew out the tea lights before they left, not wanting to have a fire and returned to the bedroom. Harry gasped when they got in, and blushed when he saw what Louis had laid out on the bed. His favourite pair of pink knickers, a length of silk they often used to tie each other to the bed, and a few toys. Louis shivered when his dark eyes locked on Harry’s. “Okay?”

Harry nodded and stepped over to the bed, pulling the knickers up over his thighs and hips, adjusting his cock so he was hidden away, although Louis could see his body was responding to this already. He smirked and stood in front of Harry, pulling him down into a deep kiss. He didn't waste any time in showing his husband how much he wanted him, his fingers tangling in Harry’s damp curls. When they were both panting and breathless, he sat Harry down on the armchair and grabbed the hairdryer, working his fingers through as he dried Harry’s curls, taking care of him as best he could.

Harry sat quietly, looking stunning in just the lace, and Louis was pleased with himself for deciding to spoil his husband. So often, Harry was the one that took care of all of them, making sure everyone was where they needed to be, taking care of Louis in so many ways, and he loved that he could now do that for him. Harry deserved everything good in the world, and he wanted him to know how loved he was, how much Louis still adored him. They’d been together well over two years now, and Louis was sure he loved him more and more each day.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, tucking a curl behind Harry’s ear, kissing his cheek softly. “Love when you have a little bit of scruff.” He nuzzled against for a moment, Harry’s hands coming up to grab at Louis’ waist, holding him close before he pulled him down onto his lap. “Harry…”

“Love you so much, Louis. Thank you for this, I-”

“Don’t thank me. I love doing this for you, baby. Gonna let me take care of you tonight? Trust me to make you feel good?”

“Please,” Harry pleaded, and Louis could feel his body responding under him. He ground down, enjoying the whimper it pulled out of Harry but he quickly stood up, tugging Harry to his feet. “Fuck, Louis…”

“Not tonight.” Louis smirked at his own reply, and watched as Harry laid himself out on the bed, ready for Louis to take, entirely relinquishing all control. Louis quite liked it when they played like this, and his entire focus tonight was just on Harry, making him feel so good he could forget about his worries at least for tonight. “Stay still for me, baby…”

Louis climbed onto the bed, straddling Harry’s thighs before he leaned down, pressing their chests together as he captured Harry’s lips in another deep kiss. They both moaned as their tongues brushed together, hands roaming over their bodies, keen to explore every inch of each other. It didn't matter that they knew each other almost inside out by now, somehow, when they did this, it often felt like the first time all over again. Louis, though, loved how he knew what to do to make Harry squirm, knew how he liked to be touched, to be kissed. It was a special kind of intimacy he’d always craved, and he loved having it with Harry.

He pulled away from Harry’s lips, tracing kisses down his jaw line as he felt Harry’s hand come down to grab at his arse, kneading the flesh there above his boxers as Louis pushed back into the touch, coming down to kiss over Harry’s collarbones and the swallow tattoos there. Harry writhed under his touch, and Louis pulled up slightly, smirking down at his husband. “Haz… want you to stay still, this is all about you okay?”

“Sorry, just… I want you, Lou… so much,” Harry rumbled out, biting down on his lip as he watched Louis dip his head, sucking the hard nub of his nipple between his lips, biting down gently. “Ah! Louis… fuck… so good-”

Louis continued, playing with Harry’s other nipple with his fingertips, grinding his hardening cock down into Harry’s thigh as he did so. He liked how the lace of Harry’s knickers felt against his own bare stomach, and as much as he wanted to get Harry naked, he quite liked the idea of leaving them on as well. Once he’d given attention to both nipples with his tongue and his fingertips, he kissed down Harry’s torso, sucking deep love bites into the tattoos on his hips, marking him up how he liked. 

“Fuck… touch me, Lou,  _ please _ ,” Harry begged, tucking two fingers under Louis’ chin so they were looking at each other again.

“I am,” Louis smirked, trailing his fingers up and down Harry’s bare chest again, a little startled when Harry grabbed his wrist, forcing his hand down, pressing it against his own hard cock. Louis moved his palm up and down over it, squeezing Harry’s length gently before he slipped inside the knickers, running his finger over the already wet head. “Better?”

“Yes… god,” Harry murmured, still not releasing Louis’ hand. He guided Louis’ motions for a motion, watching with dark eyes as Louis used his free hand to push his own boxers down, kicking them off, leaving him bare. “Can you.. Uh, god…”

“Can I what? Tell me what you need, baby,” Louis encouraged, keen for Harry to get what he wanted tonight.

“Leave my knickers on? Want to be fucked in them, Lou, love how you make me feel when I wear them,” Harry admitted. Louis was so turned on by hearing Harry be honest with him, and nodded quickly. He watched as Harry’s eyes then flitted over to where he’d left the length of royal blue silk at the foot of the bed, by their feet. Louis reached and grabbed it, one hand still around Harry’s cock, stroking and bringing him to full hardness.

“You want this? Your wrists?” Harry nodded and Louis gently moved up the bed as he watched Harry rest his hands above his head, his muscles bulging. He could see Harry was breathing quickly as well, and focused for a moment on tying Harry’s hands to the bedframe, securing them and asking Harry if he was comfortable. He could see the man was slipping into his happy state of mind, the one where he knew he was being taken care of, and he kissed Harry quickly. “I love you.”

“Please,” was all Harry could reply, and Louis reached for the lube on the bedside table. Harry immediately dragged his feet up the bed, letting his thighs fall open as he watched Louis drizzle a little of the clear fluid onto the fingers of his right hand. Louis hooked his fingers under the edge of Harry’s knickers, tugging them to the side enough to expose his hole, and he reached forward, slowly and gently running his finger up and down, teasing Harry exactly how he wanted to. He knew Harry loved to be teased, and he started kissing the soft skin of his inner thighs as he pressed in gently with the tip of one finger. Harry moaned, tugging on the restraints, making the metal bed head rattle as he did so. Louis pulled off and stared at the pale skin, wondering how it would look with a small tattoo there, just for him, and stored that thought away for later.

“Gonna make you feel good baby, you want it?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded, trying to move his hips down, trying to already ride Louis’ fingers. “Ah ah, take it slow, sweetheart…”

“No, want you… need you inside me,” Harry moaned, his voice full of lust. Louis responded by giving Harry another of his fingers, moving in and out carefully, not wanting to hurt Harry. This was about feeling good, not being rough and hard with him. He kept kissing down Harry’s thighs, across his hips but ignoring where he wanted to be touched as he worked him up to three fingers, stretching him comfortably. Louis was hard himself by now, but he ignored his own erection, knowing in a moment it would be worth it. “Louis, I…”

“You alright?” Louis muttered, stilling his hand for a moment. “Talk to me…”

“I want… ah, Louis, please-” Harry begged, still bucking down on Louis’ fingers. “Louis…”

“What, love?”

“Cover my eyes.” Louis was stunned for a moment and Harry spoke again, a blush spreading across his cheeks at his request. “Just… please, for tonight? Want to feel you so much…. Please?”

Louis nodded, and gently removed his fingers, kissing Harry’s knee as he got up off the bed and grabbed their box down. He removed a length of pale pink silk folded gently in there, and smiled, realising it was almost the colour of Harry’s knickers and the roses he’d bought him, which were still sat on his chest of drawers across the room. He held it up and Harry nodded, fisting the sheets underneath him, still blatantly turned on. 

He knelt on the bed near Harry’s head, his hard cock bobbing between his legs, begging for some touch. He scooped up Harry’s hair and rested it above his head, pecking Harry’s lips as he bought the silk down, draping it over Harry’s eyes. Harry lifted his head slightly, giving Louis a little room to thread the silk underneath and tie it gently. Harry sighed in pleasure when his sight was taken away, and reached out, touching Louis’ bare thigh gently.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and Louis thought he’d never looked more beautiful, tied to the bed, his eyes covered with delicate pink that matched the rest of his beautiful body. “Please Lou, make me yours, need you now…”

“I’m here, love, don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Louis got up and knelt back between Harry’s legs, pushing them apart and exposing his husband’s most intimate place again. Harry was surprisingly calm and Louis quickly lubed up his cock and pulled Harry’s knickers to one side, rubbing the tip over Harry’s entrance. He loved how Harry jumped at the touch, not expecting it and he continued, teasing them both for a moment. He took the base of his cock in his hand, supporting himself as he pushed forward, breaching Harry’s body. He watched Harry’s face for every reaction, how he gasped then bit on his lip when Louis pushed in further, sheathing himself with Harry’s warm, tight heat. It felt good to be doing this slowly, not muffled and needing to be quiet because of a sleeping child just down the hall. 

“Oh god yes, right there,” Harry murmured, hands scrabbling to touch Louis, landing on the hands that were placed on Harry’s thighs, keeping his legs spread for Louis. “Love you, so fucking much… make me feel so good.” Harry’s hand then slid over to his own cock, still trapped behind the lace, tenting it almost obscenely with how hard he was. Louis let him touch, knowing Harry’s senses were in overdrive from losing his sight.

Louis kept his thrusts long and slow, the drag of Harry’s walls around him so much already, he was struggling to keep his cool, not wanting to come too soon. He could feel Harry’s body clench around him, keeping him deep inside, groaning when Louis withdrew. He left just the tip of his length inside Harry before he pushed back in one stroke, burying himself deep inside his husband again, linking them intimately.

“Louis.. Harder, please, fuck me harder-” 

Although Louis had wanted this to be slow and gentle, he also wanted to give Harry what he wanted. He picked up the pace slightly, hitching Harry’s arse up onto his thighs, changing the angle and making his thrusts deeper, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling their bedroom. The noises Harry was letting out were just beautiful, and Louis was amazed as he looked down at Harry, knowing he was the only one who would ever get to see him like this, being taken apart, loved, being made to feel so good.

He was driving himself ever closer to his orgasm, and decided to give it to Harry, sensing his husband wanted more. He withdrew slowly, as he had been then slammed back in, making Harry cry out loudly, shifting up the bed as his hips met Harry’s backside. He repeated that over and over, smirking when he saw Harry was playing with his own nipples now, his cock protruding from the waistband of his knickers, leaking against his stomach.

“Want me to fill you up, Harry? Fill you with my come?”

“Yeah… want it so bad..” Harry rasped out, panting heavily now, chasing his own orgasm. “Harder, please-” Louis complied, hitching one of Harry’s legs up and over his shoulder, fucking harder into him now. He reached down and took Harry’s cock in his hand, wanking him off in time with his thrusts. His hips were pistoning in and out of Harry’s body now, both of them quite vocal in their pleasure, and honestly, Louis never wanted to stop.

He was shocked when Harry’s hands gripped at the silk keeping him tied, yanking hard. “Take it… take it off, wanna see you, please-”

Louis did, pulling so the loose knot came undone and pushed the pink silk up Harry’s head, framing his beautiful face. His green eyes were dark, pupils entirely blown and they locked eyes as Louis thrust hard a few more times before he spilled, coming with a cry of Harry’s name, burying himself as deep as he could go.

“Come for me,” he whispered as the aftershocks of his orgasm pulsated through his own body, using his hand to help Harry finish with a cry.

“Louis, oh… LOU!” Harry came hard, covering his torso in come which Louis bent down to trail his tongue through, still inside Harry’s body. Harry groaned at the sight, mumbling for Louis to kiss him, moaning as he tasted himself on Louis’ tongue. It was dirty but loving, and Louis lost himself in the kiss, not caring their bodies were filthy again despite the bath they’d just shared. It was just a good excuse to shower together again.

“What was that love, I didn't catch that,” Louis whispered when he missed the tail end of something Harry was mumbling, voice too low to pick up. “Haz?”

“Plug…” Harry muttered, and Louis smiled, knowing what he wanted. He reached down to pick up the small pink butt plug he’d set beside the knickers and carefully pulled out, keeping Harry’s legs apart so he could see the evidence of what he’d done to his husband. “Louis.. You’re wasting it,” Harry whined, and Louis nodded.

He pressed the rounded tip of the toy against Harry’s hole, watching it sink inside slowly, keeping his come trapped inside Harry’s body. Since Harry had first used a butt plug at the Grammy’s all those months ago, it was something he enjoyed more and more, particularly after sex as he liked to keep Louis inside him, especially when they were alone. Louis liked it even more when Harry walked around naked afterwards, evidence of the plug obvious whenever he walked.

Louis bent down and kissed Harry’s bum cheeks before he shuffled up the bed again, releasing Harry’s hands. He kissed the red skin of his wrists softly, pleased he’d chosen the silk to tie Harry with, knowing it wouldn’t leave any lasting marks on his delicate skin. “I love you. Feel okay?”

“Feel amazing,” Harry replied, eyes still a little hazy, his curls a mess atop his head, body littered in deep red love bites, a physical representation of Louis’ love all over him. “Thank you, Lou. You.. you’re amazing. Love you lots, lots and lots.”

“I love you, too. Wanna shower now, or…”

“Later, sleep first?” Harry asked, and Louis nodded, knowing how drowsy Harry got after something like this. He lay flat on his back, letting Harry roll over, throwing a sweaty leg over his Louis’, keeping them close. His arms came and wrapped around his larger husband’s torso, and he kissed his lips gently, loving how warm and soft they were,how much Harry enjoyed being kissed. “My Louis…” a sleepy Harry mumbled, burrowing closer to Louis.

“My Hazza,” Louis replied, running his fingers through Harry’s wild looking hair. “Always my beautiful boy.”

 

*****

 

Harry hovered nervously in the reception area of the school. He’d spent the morning at home while waiting for the hours to pass by. He’d cleaned the house, tried working out a bit of promo timetabling but he’d been unable to focus on anything except that afternoon’s impending meeting. He’d resorted to taking Percy for a long walk around the neighbourhood, his Airpods in blasting out his new album so he didn't have to stop and talk to anyone. It had helped clear his head somewhat, and now, he felt a bit calmer, although there was still the thrum of nerves whizzing through his body.

“Sorry, Harry, he shouldn’t be much longer,” one of the receptionists apologised, and Harry smiled, nodding as he sat back down. Louis knew what time the meeting was and Harry was confident he wouldn’t be late, not to this. He looked down at his own outfit and smiled at his choice. He was wearing a deep blue jacket with a smart grey shirt underneath, and he had dark trousers on his bottom half with his black Saint Laurent boots on his feet. He looked smart, and hoped he was going to make a good impression on the potential surrogate.

“Sorry! I’m really sorry, I didn't mean to be running late, are we late?!” a rather harrassed looking Louis burst out, running a hand through his hand, swiping it back from his face. Harry quickly got to his feet and grabbed his husband, kissing him quickly, aware they were at Louis’ place of work and they couldn’t be too affectionate. “Harry-”

“Lou, it’s fine. We have a good forty minutes yet, calm down. Do you have everything? Have you eaten?”

“Yes and yes. I’m ready if you are? I changed my shirt as well, bought a spare one with me this morning. Good job too, as one of the little darlings wiped their painty fingers on my sleeve this morning.”

“Oops,” Harry grinned, holding the door open for Louis, watching his husband walk past him. He had on a blazer that clung to his curves with a white linen shirt that Harry loved to see on him, and his bottom half was covered in some rather snug trousers. He looked beautiful, and as they stood by the school gates, Harry dipped his head, kissing Louis’ lips quickly. “You look gorgeous, love. You feeling ready for this?”

“Sort of. I mean, we’ve prepared as much as we need to, right? All we can do now is wait and see if she likes us, and there’s not a lot we can to change how we are so… yeah. You wanna drive?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry headed off in the direction of the clinic, where they’d be meeting the potential surrogate. Louis had spoken to his boss and explained he and Harry had a personal meeting to attend, and luckily, he’d been granted the afternoon off. The drive was fairly quiet as it was the middle of the day, and they soon pulled up in the car park, early for the meeting, too early to go in, really. They sat there silently for a while, watching as people came and went, pondering what they may be there for.

“This makes it all feel so real,” Harry said softly, breaking the peace. “I just hope she likes us, Lou. We’re good people, we’re good parents… but she can still say no, and then we’re stuck. I hate that it all comes to one impression, that she can judge us and make that decision about us.”

“I know, but so can we, Haz. We can decide if we don’t like her as well, remember. She doesn’t hold all the power here. And honestly, I can’t see a reason she won’t like us. Let’s just be ourselves, that’s all we can do. I love you, no matter what happens in here, okay?”

“I love you, too. No one else in the world I’d rather be doing this with, Lou.” They smiled slightly at each other, and linked hands, resting them on Louis’ leg. “You know what I miss? Being in Italy. I miss being relaxed, having no schedule, just us. I miss that. You reckon we'll go back one day?"

"I want to, I'd love Jake to meet Livia," Louis said, smiling slightly at the wonderful memories of their holiday, already feeling like a distant memory. "I miss it, too. We need another holiday soon, maybe in the summer holidays we could take Jake somewhere?

"Sounds like a plan, I'll start looking." Harry drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel for a moment before he finally broke, unable to just sit there any longer. " You ready to go in? I’d rather sit in there than just stew and worry myself stupid in here.”

They got out of the car and held hands as they walked across the car park. There was a little queue at the desk so they stood quietly, looking at some of the artwork on the walls as they finally waited for their turn. Louis spoke, as Harry was too nervous to, his palm sweating in Louis’, and his leg jiggling nervously. 

“Hi, we have an appointment with Dr Waters, Louis and Harry Tomlinson.”

The lady behind the desk tapped at her computer and smiled at the pair after a moment. “That’s great, go and take a seat and you’ll be called through shortly.”

“Thanks.” Louis led Harry over to two chairs on their own, sitting down and pulling Harry down next to him. Harry was grateful his husband was taking charge now, and it felt like they’d only been sat waiting a few minutes when their names were read over the tannoy. Harry exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling like this was the first real step they were making into their future, despite the fact they’d already been to the clinic and started the process over the past few weeks. This, however, was something new and unknown, and that was what was making Harry so nervous.

He relaxed slightly when he felt Louis slip his hand behind Harry’s, pulling him to his feet. “Okay, let’s go.” They wove together down the familiar corridors, stopping outside the wooden door they’d been through several times. Louis raised his hand to knock, and Harry squeezed his other hand tightly, keeping his love by his side, needing his support more than ever. “Lou…”

“You’ll be fine,” Louis whispered as he headed into the room, Harry trailing behind him. They entered, and Harry felt relieved to see Dr Waters was alone. The butterflies in his tummy rested slightly, and he sat down in his usual seat, smiling at the older woman sat opposite.

“How are we doing, gentlemen?”

“Fine, thank you,” Harry replied, keen to take some of the burden of conversation away from Louis for the moment, while he felt comfortable. It puzzled him sometimes how he was able to perform in front of thousands in an arena, or multiple television cameras, yet a one on one meeting like this could reduce him to a quivering wreck. Maybe it was because this meant so much to him, and Harry was just desperate to impress, to make this woman want to carry his and Louis’ baby. “I mean, we’re nervous, but I’ll be glad to get this bit out of the way.”

“I understand. This is nerve-wracking, but I assure you, your potential surrogate is as nervous as you. She’s already here, she’s with one of my colleagues. We wanted to see you separately before we bring you together. Are you ready for us to do that now, or did you want to take a few more minutes?”

Louis looked to Harry, and they both nodded, communicating wordlessly, a trick they’d learnt to get around Jacob and his little pleading eyes. “Now would be go,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s hand supportively. Louis exhaled, and Harry could feel his heart start to race in his chest. Dr Waters stood and reassured the men she’d be back in a moment, and Harry turned to Louis, eyes wide, fear flooding him again.

“Louis, I can’t do this, I cant-”

“Yes, you can, and you will. Come on, you want this, love. I know it’s daunting, I do, I promise but let’s just try, okay? I’m here with you, you’re not alone. Love you, babe. This is it, the last step to getting us a baby… come on, you’re brave and strong, you can do this.”

“Thank you,” Harry mumbled, wishing the redness in his cheeks would disappear a bit before they met the potential mother to be. He stilled in his seat as he heard low voices outside the door, and something clicked in his mind. “Stand up, Lou, let’s greet her.” Louis grinned and did so, their hands still held between their bodies. Harry was just praying she’d be as nice as he’d imagined her to be, and he straightened his shirt with his free hand as the door slowly opened.

Dr Waters stepped inside first, and following her was a young woman. She wasn’t too tall, a little shorter than Louis and Harry, and she had long, dark hair that was half up in a clip. Harry immediately noticed her blue eyes and stepped forwards, smiling at her, hoping to put her at ease.

“Hi, wow, it’s so great to finally meet you.” He wasn’t sure where this sudden burst of confidence was coming from, but he went with it, pleased that she was grinning back at him. “I’m Harry Tomlinson, and this is my husband, Louis.”

“Wonderful to meet you,” Louis chimed in, shaking her hand as well. 

“Nice to see you both, thank you for meeting me. My name’s Shannon Hunter. Shall we?” She indicated to the sofa area of the room. “Okay, since I’ve done this before, do you want me to go first and tell you a bit about myself, then you can go? It’s up to you, though…”

“No, that’s fine with us,” Harry hurried to say, happy that she was taking charge like this. “Please.”

“Okay. Well, as I just said I’m Shannon. This will be my third surrogacy if things go to plan. My last one was eighteen months ago, and my husband and I felt we were in a position for me to accept another surrogacy client at the moment. I married my husband Jack 11 years ago, we were young, just twenty two, and we had our two children Ava and Shane quite quickly. They’re ten and seven now. My youngest, Milly, is three. My two surrogate babies were healthy, full term baby boys, both born to same sex couples like yourselves.”

Harry was pleased to hear that, and nodded along, already liking this woman from the little he knew of her.

“My previous surrogacies were with the clinic and Dr Waters, and I am happy to talk to you about any requests you may have in terms of being involved in the pregnancy and birth. One of my previous couples chose to not be involved, and simply arrived to take their son home after he was born, but the other couple were much more involved, so I am happy either way, whatever suits you. This process will be about you, so I hope I can make that as easy on the pair of you as I possibly can.”

“Thank you for being so honest,” Harry said, turning to Louis who smiled at him. He could see that Louis was feeling as positive as he was about this, and that made him feel warm inside. “Okay, our turn. Lou, can I…”

“Go on, my darling.”

“Okay, well, I’m Harry and Louis’ my husband. We’ve been married just over a year now, but we’ve been together just over two years. We have a son, Jacob, he’s just turned eight and he’s the absolute best thing in our life. And Jacob would kill me if I didn't mention the fact we have a puppy as well, called Percy.” Shannon smiled at that, and nodded, Louis taking over now.

“Jacob is biologically my son. I had a relationship when I was much younger, and Jacob is the result of that. He has no contact with his birth mother through her choice, and Harry is in the final stages of legally adopting Jacob as his own.”

“That’s wonderful, congratulations,” Shannon said, a broad smile on her face. “So can I ask which one of you would be looking to father your child this time around?”

“Um, we decided I would be the donor this time,” Harry said, feeling nervous at admitting that. “Louis was keen for me to have a biological child, but he would be adopting this baby as his own as well, so we would all be family in every sense.”

“That sounds good. And I don’t mean to be too obvious, but I know who you are… what are you expecting in terms of this pregnancy, and keeping it private? I assume you don’t want this made public just yet?”

“No, definitely not,” Harry began.”Only our son knows about this at the moment, and we’d look to keep the pregnancy from the press for the duration. We would like to make an announcement when the baby is born and all is well, but we don’t see the need to have any other information in the public eye at the moment, so I’ll be carrying on as normal in terms of my new album promotion and so on. I believe the clinic has some paperwork if we choose to go ahead with this, regarding privacy and some contracts we would look for any surrogate to sign.”

“That’s fine. My husband was happy for me to make the decision about this as it’s primarily me who is affected, but I totally understand that. Please be assured I would be very discrete, and I don’t disclose any details about the parents of my surrogate children, even to my closest family. I am open with my husband though, I hope that’s okay…”

“That’s fine, I think I’d struggle to keep something like from Harry, too,” Louis said. “Would you tell us a bit more about yourself, how you’ve found your previous pregnancies?”

“Of course, you can ask anything you like, I’m not too shy,” she said with a big smile, and Harry relaxed once more, sitting against the back of the sofa as they listened to Shannon talk. Dr Waters interjected every now and then with some comments, and anything that needed any medical information adding to it, talking the three of them through the procedure and how things would work. After a while, Shannon had to leave to collect her children from school, and Harry and Louis realised they had to make a move if they were going to collect Jacob on time too.

“It’s been wonderful, thank you so much,” Harry said shaking Shannon’s hand again and then watching as Louis did the same, thanking her for taking the time to meet with them.

“I know this is maybe premature for me to say,” she began, blue eyes flitting between Harry’s and Louis’ faces. “But if you were to choose me to become your surrogate, please know I would be more than happy to accept. I think you are a really lovely couple, and I think any children you have would be very lucky to be raised by two brilliant parents like yourself. By the same token, if you chose to go another route, I wouldn’t be hurt, I understand this is a person choice.”

She said goodbye and disappeared, leaving the Tomlinson’s alone with Dr Waters once more, quiet settling around them. “Was that everything you anticipated?” she asked, keen to get their thoughts.

“She was so lovely,” Louis said, feeling happy and relieved now that was out of the way. “What did you think, Haz? I mean, it’s your baby, how do you feel about her?”

“Our baby, Lou… I liked her. A lot. I’d like to choose her. I mean, I know we should think about it but I’m a big believer in going with your gut. I did when I asked you out for the first time, and then again when I proposed to you in Jamaica. I’m getting the same feeling about Shannon, Louis. I think she’s the one, the lady I’d like to be our surrogate.”

“Really?” Louis said, his smile broadening on his face. “Oh god, I’m so glad you said that because I want her, too. I think she’s great, and I love the fact this isn’t her first surrogacy. She knows what she’s getting into, and it just felt… right. You know?”

“I do. I totally agree.”

“Well, I’m really pleased to hear that,” Dr Waters said, tapping something into her computer. “I will, however, ask you to wait a few days before you make your final decision. You’re emotional at the moment, and we like our clients to take a few days to think things through before they make a final choice. I can call you on Friday, see if you still feel the same?”

“That would be great, thanks,” Louis said, nodding along. He understood the need for a few days to let the decision settle, but he was certain somehow that neither he or Harry would change their minds in the meantime. They left the clinic shortly after, not making a follow up appointment just yet as things would move along based on the result of the call on Friday.

They left and headed to school to collect Jacob. The little boy didn't know they were out at the moment, so Louis slipped back into the building, avoiding the need for any more questions. When they knew something concrete, they’d tell Jacob, but until then, it was nice to have something between themselves. Harry waited in the playground for Jacob, and grinned when his son skipped out of school, waving yet another permission slip for some school trip or other in his hand, excitement tumbling from his lips.

Louis joined them a few minutes later, and they followed behind their son, who was now nattering away to his best friend Tristan, arranging some sort of playdate between themselves.

“Haz, I’ve been thinking,” Louis began, adjusting his bag on his shoulder, keen to get home now.

“Dangerous,” Harry teased, laughing when Louis elbowed him before following it with a quick kiss. “Sorry, babe, go on.”

“Okay. Um… I want to tell our parents. About the surrogacy. Things are real now, Haz, and I want them to know. I want to be able to talk to them about it, and have them share in everything with us. I’m so close to Mum and it feels wrong to not have her as part of this.”

“Fuck yes,” Harry said, surprising Louis by scooping him up and twirling him round. Jacob just rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath, walking off with Tristan at the soppy display from his parents, embarrassed now he was getting to that age. “I want that so much, I’ve nearly slipped up several times with Mum, actually. Shall we have them round for dinner this weekend? I’ll cook a roast or something. Be nice to have everyone together again.”

“Best idea you’ve had in ages, Harold,” Louis said, pressing another kiss to Harry’s lips. “Now take me home, Tomlinson, I’ve got a dinner to arrange…”


	70. Play That Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry tell their families their news, Harry starts promo for the new single, and Louis has a heart to heart with his son...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one. Thank you if you are still here. At the moment, your comments mean everything. I can't tell you how much they mean to me, 1 nasty comment outweighs so many good ones but I'm trying so hard to ignore them. Thank you as always for the support. xx

“Fucking hell Lou-” Harry gasped where Louis had him bent over the sink in the bathroom, licking into him with abandon. Harry turned and buried his face into his shoulder, trying to muffle his sounds, but he was pretty sure he was failing miserably. He felt like he was on fire where Louis was making him feel so good, but he had no idea what had gotten into his husband at the moment. Louis had already woken up him up with a blowjob, which Harry thought was an amazing way to wake up, and then he’d proceeded to come all over Harry’s chest afterwards before clambering off and heading off to do some housework. Louis was a puzzling thing sometimes. 

“Stay still,” Louis ordered from where he was knelt down behind Harry, hands clamped on his ass to keep his cheeks spread, affording Louis a pretty good view of Harry’s most private place. Harry moaned softly again as Louis dove back in, swirling his tongue around, fingertips grazing against his hole that was now wet and fluttering against Louis’ talented tongue. It felt like ages since Louis had rimmed him, and Harry was determined to enjoy every second.

“Ah god, Louis… right there, don’t stop-” Harry babbled, his eyes shutting as he lost himself in the sensation. He could feel the very tip of Louis’ tongue dip inside him, and he pushed backwards until there was a sting against his backside, Louis’ hand coming down hard on his cheek, making Harry gasp again.

“I said, stay still.” Louis’ voice was dark now, and something about it made Harry want to comply, to be good for him so he stayed as still as he could, knuckles white from where he was gripping the edge of the sink so tightly to keep himself upright. Harry’s ass cheek felt warm from Louis’ smack and Harry couldn’t help how much he liked that. He just let himself go, letting Louis drive him wild as his tongue licked over him again and again, Louis’ other hand coming round to grab at his cock. “Gonna come for me, Haz?”

“Fuck,  _ please _ ,” Harry begged, not caring how desperate he sounded now. He longed to reach down and touch himself, needing some attention on his neglected cock but he knew Louis’ long and slow strokes were exactly what he intended at the moment, and he wouldn’t be speeding up for anything. Louis knew exactly how to drive Harry wild, and he loved it. “Oh god, Louis, I-” His breathing became heavier as Louis’ tongue darted in and out of him, the heat and wetness becoming all too much for Harry to hold back. “Shit, fuck, Louis- ah!”

He came hard against the sink unit, Louis’ hand stroking him through it, his tongue still working over him until Harry was practically crying, pressing back, not caring Louis’ face was being buried deeper between his cheeks with each motion backwards he made. Being rimmed always made Harry emotional and almost overwhelmed, and he loved how out of control he felt, like Louis was completely in charge of making him feel good. Louis pressed a soft kiss against his hole once more before he stood up, smirking at Harry, palming himself now.

“Shit, you taste good, baby,” Louis muttered, eyes raking up and down Harry’s bare body. “Can’t get enough of you these days, dunno what’s wrong with me. Ah, shit-”

Harry’s eyes drifted down to where Louis was still touching himself, his hand having slipped within his boxers now, and he had a sudden urge to please Louis, to submit to him in some way. Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees, looking up at Louis’ eyes before his gaze fell back to the movement of Louis’ hand, how his arm muscles were bulging under the exertion. Louis just stared back at him, and Harry could feel the electricity crack in the air between them.

“Come on my face.” 

Louis moaned loudly as Harry let the words slip past his lips and he quickly nodded, shoving his boxers further down until his cock was free, angry and red from lack of touch. Harry loved how much Louis eating him out affected him, and he watched Louis’ hand glide over himself, listened carefully to how shallow Louis’ breaths were becoming as he neared his orgasm, muttering something under his breath as he stared at Harry, vulnerable and entirely trusting of Louis.

Harry opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out, and seemingly, that was enough to push Louis over the edge, coming hard over Harry’s face, his release coating Harry’s tongue, lips and cheeks. Harry just sat there, enjoying the feeling, loving Louis’ eyes on him as they enjoyed such an intimate moment together. It was Louis who collapsed back against the sink unit first, panting and smirking down at Harry. He reached forwards, running his thumb through a streak of come on Harry’s cheek and scooped it up, pushing it back between Harry’s lips, loving how eagerly he licked it off.

“You look so fucking filthy like that,” Louis murmured as Harry finally got to his feet, ready to clean himself off. Harry took a glance at himself in the mirror, looking at his reflection before he turned on the tap, collecting some water in his hands before he rinsed off, finally feeling sated, like an itch he didn't realised he had had been scratched. He turned and pulled Louis towards him, kissing him softly. “Mmm, love kissing you.”

“Me too,” Harry purred, running his hands gently up and down Louis’ sides, enjoying the feel of his bare skin under his palms. “We better get ready for this dinner, Mum and everyone else is gonna be here in a while.”

“Shit, I’m really nervous all of a sudden,” Louis admitted, following Harry through to the bedroom, watching his husband rifle through his selection of clothes, pulling out a shirt and comfortable pair of jeans. “Like… what if they aren’t happy with our choice?”

“Well, I can’t see that happening, can you?” Harry asked, pulling some boxers up and over his hips, pinging the elastic waistband against his tummy. He pulled the soft cotton shirt over his body next, fiddling with the tiny buttons, leaving half undone as was his usual style. “And if they aren’t, this is our decision, Lou. We want a baby, and we want it to be our baby biologically, and this was the best way to do it for us. They’ll support us though, I know it. We’ve got amazing family, we’re lucky like that.”

“I know. Just… makes it seem so real, you know? That we’re telling people it’s actually happening.”

“It does, but that just makes it more exciting, doesn’t it? Especially now we’ve told Dr Waters that we’ve chosen Shannon to be our surrogate. I can’t wait to get all the paperwork now and get that signed… although that does mean that fucking donation is coming around again, and that’s not exactly something I’m looking forward to.”

“Lady porn…” Louis called as he stepped into the bathroom to do his hair, cackling when he caught sight of Harry giving him the middle finger out of the corner of his eye. 

“Louis porn, more like,” Harry muttered under his breath, sitting on the edge of their bed to put his socks on. He glanced up at the photo on his bedside table, one taken at their wedding over a year ago now. Jacob was perched on Harry’s leg, and Louis was leaning over, arms around his boys and they looked so happy. Harry’s mind drifted off to the possibility of in the not-too-distant future having another photo like that, this time of himself, his husband and his two children in his arms. It seemed unbelievable that this was his life now. His marriage had gone from strength to strength, now he was looking forward to the possibility of becoming a father again, and his new single was due for release in just a few days. Things were really looking up.

*****

Just an hour later, Louis was stood at the door, welcoming in the Tomlinson clan for the meal. Truthfully, it wasn’t the entire clan. Phoebe, Daisy and Felicite were with their dad, so it was Louis’ Mum and step-dad, the youngest twins and Lottie, but that suited him and Harry just fine. Gemma, Anne and Robin were already there, so despite the fact Louis and Harry had a large house, it was already starting to feel full, not used to having so many people around. 

“He’s in the kitchen, love,” Louis called to Ernest, who he could hear stomping around the ground floor looking for his favourite brother-in-law, although the twins just tended to call Harry their new brother, since the concept of being related by marriage was too much for the three year olds. “How are you doing, Mum?”

“All good, darling. How’s my favourite grandson?” 

“He’s due home any minute- oh, there he is!” Louis grinned as a little shadow ran up the driveway, pressing insistently on the doorbell. He pulled the door open and Jacob jumped into his arms, squeezing him tightly. “Was he good, Jenna?”

“Fab as always, Louis, thanks for letting him come along, Alfie loved having him,” Alfie’s Mum called from the car, knowing Louis had a family meal that Jacob had to be home for. 

“Our turn next, I’ll call you when we sort something out. Bye!” Louis closed the door behind him and took Jacob’s swimming bag while the boy divested himself of his coat and shoes, eagerly running off to greet the many family members who he knew were around thanks to the multitude of shoes and coats in the already busy hallway.

Louis smiled as he walked through the large sitting room, loving how easily their two families became one when they were altogether like this. Anne and Jay were practically best friends now, meeting up for coffee when their sons were at work, and Robin and Dan always found something to talk about, sitting for hours with mugs of tea while they nattered on. Gemma was curled up on the sofa with Doris in her lap and Lottie next to her, the littlest Deakin holding her audience captive with whatever tale she was weaving.

Quietly, Louis crept into the kitchen, hovering as he watched Harry and Ernest. Harry had the little boy on his hip as they held a rather serious looking conversation together, muttering words between them that Louis couldn’t quite make out, but had Harry nodding along as Ernest played with the collar of Harry’s shirt.

“Well, can we tell Lou?” Harry asked, and Ernest nodded before burying his face in Harry’s neck. Louis cocked an eyebrow as he walked nearer, but Harry winked, telling Louis it was something good rather than anything to be worried about. “Do you want me to tell him, or do you want to?” Ernest just responded by jabbing a finger against Harry’s chest, keeping his face hidden. “Okay. Come closer, Lou, it’s a boys secret, can’t let those girls hear.”

Louis chuckled and stood next to Harry, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist, another on Ernest’s little leg, trying to communicate to his youngest sibling he had his full attention.

“What is it, Ern? Got some news for me?” Ernest just nodded, waiting for Harry to speak.

“Ernie’s got his big boy boxers on today,  and he said he’s used the big toilet all day. Mummy says if he can be dry all day, she’s going to take him to buy some new boxers as well!”

Louis gasped, putting a hand on his chest, knowing how big a deal this was for his little brother. Doris had ditched the nappies during the daytime quite easily a few months ago now but Ernest had really struggled with it, to the point where it was upsetting him. Louis knew Jay wasn’t pressuring him at all, but the fact Ernest had come and told Harry about this filled him with such pride. He reached and took his big brother from Harry, giving him the tightest cuddle he could.

“Wow, mate, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you. You know where our toilet is if you need to go, yeah? You can just ask Mummy, or me or Haz, we won’t mind.” He leaned in a bit, whispering as if it was a big secret. “What boxers are you going to get with Mummy then?”

“Paw patrol,” Ernest replied with a broad grin, and Louis loved how Harry gave him a little high five at that. “I saw them in Tesco…”

“Awesome, well make sure you tell me when you get them, okay? You can get Mummy to call me, or get me to come round.”

“And Hazzy?”

“Definitely, love,” Harry replied, stepping back over to the oven to check on dinner. “We’ll all be really proud of you but if not, that’s okay too. Lou, is Lottie still eating veggie? I got her a Quorn thingy if she is…”

“She is.” Louis set a now wriggling Ernest down onto the floor, watching as he ran off to find Jacob, wanting to play now. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Ah, I do try,” Harry said, flicking his hair and making Louis laugh. “Loved how proud Ernest was, bless him. Who knew the promise of Paw Patrol boxers was such a big draw for a three year old, huh?”

“We’ll have all that joy to come,” Louis said softly, coming to hug his husband. What started off as a soft and loving kiss soon descended into something more. Louis always lost himself somehow when Harry kissed him, loving how Harry’s warm lips felt against his own, how Harry’s hand took up most of his back as he held them close together. They only broke apart when a low cough separated them, and they blushed, wiping their mouths and taking a step backwards, Harry quickly turning to the vegetables boiling on the hob.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Anne said, a small smile on her face at the affection between her son and his husband. “I just wondered if you’d like a hand setting the table?”

“That’d be great, thanks Anne,” Louis replied with a smile, following Anne out of the kitchen and into the dining room where they’d be eating. The table in there was big enough to sit them all, whereas the kitchen table was really only for Harry, Louis and Jacob. “Jake, can you come and help Nanny Anne set the table please?”

“Okay Dad!” came a shout from the other room, and soon enough, Jacob appeared, taking Anne’s hand and leading her over to the dresser where he knew the mats and cutlery were kept for when they ate in this room. Louis returned to help Harry serve up, and soon, everyone was sat together around the table, tucking into the Roast Beef that Harry had prepared for everyone (Lottie was thrilled with her Quorn Roast that Harry had made for her), chatting with ease.

Jacob was sat between his nannies as he usually was whenever they were around, and Harry and Louis had Ernest between them, the little boy not really having left Harry alone since their heart to heart. Halfway through the meal, Ernest tugged insistently on Harry’s sleeve until Harry leaned down so he could hear Ernest’s whisper. He nodded and stood up, helping the toddler down from his chair.

“Love, do you-”

“Nope, we’re all good, aren’t we, Ern?” Harry grinned, taking Ernest’s hand as they walked off, clearly heading for the toilet. Jay just smiled fondly at Harry’s retreating back, meeting Louis’ eyes for a moment.

“He’s a keeper, that one,” Jay remarked, and Louis just blushed, focusing on his meal again. By the time Harry had returned with a rather proud looking Ernest (“I did a really big wee, Lou, I didn't wee my pants at all!”), nearly everyone had finished, and Louis promised Jacob an extra dollop of ice-cream if he ate all his veggies, which he did easily after that. They all worked together and cleared the table, eating desert - ice cream for the children, and apple pie and custard for the grown ups. Harry persuaded Jacob to try it but he wasn’t convinced, sticking with the ice cream.

Louis and Dan loaded the dishwasher while Harry sloped off to read Doris and Ernest a story, both still a bit enamoured by him, and afterwards, he left Jacob in the lounge with the youngest children, a movie playing on the Disney channel to keep them quiet while Harry and Louis broke the news to their families.

“So, do you have something to tell us?” Gemma asked bluntly as Harry sat down next to Louis, taking his hand as attention turned back to the married couple again. 

“Um, why do you say that?” Harry stuttered, sure he was blushing and giving the game away. 

“You’ve been overly affectionate tonight, even for you two. You’re a bit too obvious for your own good. I just can’t work out what it is. You’re already married, so it can’t be that. Something to do with the new album?”

“Nope,” Louis grinned back, shaking his head. “But you are right, Gem, Haz and I do have something to tell you all.” With that admission, Jay and Anne set down their mugs of tea, focusing their attention on their sons. “You tell them, babe.”

“Sure?” Louis just nodded and Harry pecked his husband’s lips quickly, heart racing in his chest at finally admitting what was going on between them. “Okay. So, um, you know Lou and I have had a bit of a tough time over the past few months, but we’ve come through it together, stronger than ever. It’s made us talk a lot more too, and we’ve been honest with each other about what we want from each other.” He paused, glancing to Louis who just nodded encouragingly. “We, uh..” He cleared his throat, nervous again.

“Go on,” Louis whispered, squeezing Harry’s hand softly. 

“Louis and I… we’re trying to have a baby. We’ve been using a clinic, and, uh, we’re going to use a surrogate so that the baby is biologically. We decided this between us, and we met our surrogate the other day.” There was silence for a moment as the news sunk in until Harry heard a sob, his eyes flying around the room, landing on his mum, whose face was in her hands. “Oh Mum…”

He dropped Louis’ hand and walked around the table, crouching beside her, pulling her into a hug as Louis sought out his own mum, hugging her tightly as she told him how happy she was for the pair of them. Harry just held Anne tight as she cried onto his shoulder, clearly overcome. Gemma winked at him from where he sat, and he could see the happiness in her eyes.

“Mum… are you alright?” Harry pulled back, taking the tissue Robin was offering, pushing it into Anne’s hand, letting her dab at her eyes before she answered.

“I just… I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. I know how much you’ve wanted children. Now you’re going to be a daddy to two babies, and... oh god, that baby is going to be so beautiful, a little mini Harry-” she burst into tears again, and Louis came around, hugging her too. “Oh, I’m so sorry, this is just so wonderful, you two deserve this so much…”

“We just have to work out some paperwork with the clinic, and then we’ll look at creating the first embryo and having it implanted into Shannon. Dr Waters said it could be within the next six to eight weeks, so it’s all feeling very real,” Louis admitted, moving back to his seat, leaving Harry with an emotional Anne. 

“Does Jacob know about this yet?” Jay asked, curious to see if things could be mentioned around her grandson.

“Yes. We had to tell him because he got upset about us disappearing without him, and I think he’s old enough to understand the whole thing. Hopefully, we can have be part of the pregnancy as well, so he doesn’t feel like the baby is trying to replace him or anything,” Louis admitted, Harry nodding alongside him, having finally returned to his seat. “So, if you could all just cross everything that it works out for us. We want this so much, I can’t wait to see this one with a baby of his own in his arms.”

“Our baby, Lou,” Harry said, pulling Louis into his lap, not bothered about the eye rolls Gemma and Lottie were sending the pair of them. “Can’t wait…” He kissed Louis softly then.

“Just got to Haz over his fear of the lady porn for his next  _ donation _ ,” Louis teased, wiggling his eyebrows, making Anne and Jay both cringe. He jumped as Harry slapped his leg, a disgusted look on his face.

“ _ Really _ , Louis? In front of our mothers?!”

*****

It was just over a week after the dinner they’d shared telling their parents about the potential surrogacy that Harry found himself waking up at arse o’clock in the morning, needing to set off to the Radio 1 studios to see Dermot O’Leary for his Saturday morning radio show to promo the new single, which was being released next week. Harry had been a bit surprised when his label had pushed up the release by two weeks, but he’d jumped into the idea with gusto. Now, he was eager to get back to promoting and singing again. It felt like it had been far too long since he’d been out there doing his job, and while he didn't regret a minute of what he’d done in the past year or so, he finally felt in a position to give his all to his career, before his potential new son or daughter made their arrival, anywa.

“Louis… wakey wakey, baby..” he mumbled, propping himself up on his elbow, stroking his other hand up and down Louis’ bicep, trying to wake him gently. He kissed Louis’ lips until he felt him respond, murmuring into Harry’s kiss. “Lou, sorry love, but we have to get up. We have to go leave in half an hour if we’re going to make it to the studio…”

Louis made a noise which just sounded something like “nrghhghh” and rolled back over, pressing his face back into his pillow, his back to Harry now. Harry sighed and realised what he had to do. He swung his own legs out of bed, pulling on some underwear as he did so, and flicked on the bedroom light, flooding the room in light despite the horribly early hour. Louis groaned and buried down further until Harry yanked the duvet off, laughing at the sight of Louis curled up in a ball underneath it. “You evil fucker,” he moaned, cracking open one eye to glare at his husband.

“Sorry, babe. I did say you could stay at home but you were insistent…” 

“I’m a twat,” Louis murmured in reply, stretching his limbs out while Harry just admired the bare body laid out in front of him. “Stop staring, you perv.”

“You love it,” Harry teased, grabbing some boxers for Louis from his drawer and throwing them in his direction. “I’ll go and get Jake up while you wake up, we can eat when we’re there if you’re not up to it?”

“Fine.” Harry smiled and headed out, pleased that waking Jacob was a much easier task than waking his dad. The little stumbled blearily into the bathroom while Harry laid out something warm for him to dress into, and then headed back to his room to get dressed himself. He pulled on a hoodie and jeans, wanting to be comfortable as he knew he was taking a shirt with him as the interview was going to be televised. Louis stumbled out in a gorgeous white polo neck jumper, a designer piece Harry had got for him a few weeks ago, and he felt his breath get taken away by how it made the blue of Louis’ eyes pop, and his delicate neck seem all the more delicate, if that were possible. 

“You look gorgeous.”

“Thanks. Ready to go?” Harry nodded and looked to the door when they heard little footsteps. Jacob padded in wearing his fleece and jogging bottoms, looking incredibly cosy, and Harry hoisted him up, the little boy not caring about being carried because he was so tired. They crept out of the house, leaving Percy asleep. Lottie was popping by later to take him for a walk before they returned home in time for lunch, and the streets were deserted as they set off in the direction of the studios.

Jacob fell asleep once more on the drive, and Harry was sure Louis drifted off to sleep several times as well. He was glad he was driving as it gave him a chance to think about the interview, and the things that would be discussed. He’d cleared the topics of conversation with his team earlier in the week, and he was excited to finally be discussing his album and new single, as well as some aspects of his private life that he and Louis were happy to admit to as well.

They arrived at the studio earlier than Harry had anticipated thanks to the lack of traffic on the roads at this time of day, and Harry carried Jacob in while Louis trailed behind him, still half asleep. They were greeted by one of the shows runners and shown to a spacious dressing room, where Jacob laid out on the sofa while Louis nursed a cup of strong coffee to try and wake himself up. Harry munched on a selection of fresh fruit, browsing Twitter, surprised by the amount of tweets about his impending interview already.

Harry’s thoughts drifted back to the last time he’d brought his family to a radio interview with him, and he realised it was over a year ago, back at Capital FM with Roman. They hadn’t even been together a year back then, were just boyfriends getting used to their new family dynamic, and he remembered with a grin that Jacob had called him his dad live on air. His eyes fell over to where Jacob was still snoozing, and Louis’ bed head was propped up on his hand, blinking blearily at the wall, ever the non-morning person that he usually was.

Harry hung up the shirt hanger on the back of the door and headed back over to Louis, sitting down next to his husband for a minute. It didn't take Louis long to lean into him, and Harry just held him, quite enjoying moments like this when it was quiet, and he could be with his boys and his thoughts.

“You think it’s odd we haven’t heard from the clinic about Shannon yet?” he asked, the thought unable to leave his mind.

“Not really. I’m sure they’d be in touch if there was a problem. She’s got her own family, love, maybe she and her husband needed to come to some decisions too. If we haven’t heard anything by next week, we’ll give them a call, okay? Find out what’s going on.”

“Yeah, good idea.” 

Harry stayed sat where he was when the show’s producer walked into the room, giving Harry a quick rundown of what was going to happen, and the fact they were going to have the world exclusive airplay of his new single. Harry’s belly flip-flopped at that, and he nodded, feeling nervous of a sudden. As the producer left the room, he grabbed his phone and tweeted out that the single was going to be played within the next half an hour. The tweet immediately garnered thousands of likes and retweets, and Harry was already eager yet nervous to see their opinions afterwards.

“Shit, I forgot how weird this bit feels, putting new music out, being judged on it,” he mused, slipping his black and white on, doing up the smallest amount of buttons he could get away with at that time of day. Louis plonked his hat back on his head, telling him it was a good aesthetic, and they were just sharing a sweet kiss when the door opened again, startling them again.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry,” the young girl bumbled, blushing furiously, her gaze back on the floor. “Um, my producer sent me in. He asked if, uh, Mr Tomlinson would be able to come onto the show as well as, uh, Mr Tomlinson?”

“He wants Louis on air?” Harry asked, keen to clarify. 

“Um, yes?” the girl replied, nodded quickly, her ponytail atop her head bouncing as she did so. “Only if that’s okay, if not, he said not to worry.”

Harry looked to Louis, who just shrugged. “Yeah, that’ll be fine. Will someone be able to stay with our son?”

“I can?” The girl said meekly, finally meeting Harry’s eye. “I have 3 younger brothers, so I’m quite good with kids, especially boys. I’m Mel, by the way.”

“Sounds good to me, thanks, love,” Louis said, walking over and linking hands with Harry. “Are you sure you want me there?”

“Duh,” was all Harry replied, head whirling around as he heard Jacob stir from his slumber. He stood and watched with fond eyes as Louis went over to their son, hugging him and sitting him, quietly explaining what was happening. Jacob just nodded and blew Harry a kiss, curling up under Louis’ jacket even more to keep warm. Harry decided he would try to spend some one on one time with Jacob this weekend, before all the promo stuff and baby things got into gear. He was aware it was a lot of change for the little boy, and he was so proud of how he was handling it so far, especially since his little upset a few weeks ago.

“Lou, we need to be in the studio, babe. You gonna wait here, Jake?”

“We can watch your dads on the telly here, see?” Mel turned on the telly and found the channel that was streaming the webcam permanently switched on in the studio, the two chair where Harry and Louis would sit in a moment empty and waiting for them.

“Oh cool, thank you! Bye dads, say hi to me on the radio, please.”

“Will do, bub,” Louis called, following Harry out into the corridor. It was a bit like a rabbit warren but Harry and Louis made it in, greeting Dermot with hugs and handshakes. Harry had met him before when he’d performed on shows that Dermot had been presenting, but it was Louis’ first time meeting the man. Dermot was ever the professional, hugging Louis and encouraging the pair to sit down, handing them a set of headphones, explaining quickly how the interview would go while the track playing finished up. Harry’s heart skipped a beat as he slid the headphones onto his ears, making everything seem more real all of a sudden. He looked over to Louis, who just took his hand, holding him tight, grounding him as always. It was in moments like this Harry realised he couldn’t or wouldn’t want to ever live without Louis. Not ever.

“That was the amazing Little Mix with their new track, Woman Like Me. I am loving that song right. Now, we have a bit of a treat for you all. This morning, as you’ve seen and been going crazy for on our social media accounts, we are joined by Harry Styles this morning, and we’ve also got his husband Louis here with us, good morning, boys!”

“Morning, Dermot, thank you for having us on your lovely show,” Harry said with a grin, aware that he was being recorded on the webcam, making sure his body language looked positive and interested, taking the lead in the interview as he usually did, knowing Louis wasn’t hugely comfortable yet in these situations. “I have to say, I’m loving that track, too. I met the girls a few years ago at the Brits, and they’re fantastic.”

“They really are, I’m sure they’ve got a big hit on their hands with that one. Now, speaking of new music Harry, we have a treat for your fans today, is that right?”

“Yep, I hope so, anyway. I know it’s been a while but I’m finally putting some new music out there.” The staff in the studio whooped and clapped, making Harry and Louis laugh for a moment. “It’s called Hey Angel, and it’s out next week, actually.”

“We have an exclusive first play of it here today, so stayed tuned for that in a couple of minutes. First of all, I have a few questions for you both.” Harry and Louis just nodded to Dermot, who sat back in his chair slightly, pulling his microphone towards him from where it was mounted to the ceiling. “We haven’t heard a lot from you since you finished up your tour last summer, and did a brief appearance on Comic Relief, releasing the charity single for that, Fireproof, which I understood did very well?”

“Yeah, it did. The fans were really supportive of that, and with the royalties, I think we’ve raised about £5 million so far from the song, which is just amazing. Comic Relief is such a great charity, I was really proud to be asked to do the song for them, without a doubt.”

“You should be proud, that’s an amazing amount of money. So… where have you been? Everyone knows you’ve got yourself married to this handsome young man and settled into family life with your husband and your son, but what else has been going on? I know you had an accident last year that was mentioned on Twitter, are you all recovered?”

“Um, yeah, I think so. I know there was a lot on Twitter about it, and obviously I performed at Comic Relief still on crutches, but yeah, that was hard. I’m all better now, I still have a bit of pain sometimes, and the memories are still there, but together, we’re getting there. I think I have Louis to thank for nursing me back to health, actually. He and my son were amazing, they really were my rocks.”

“So Louis, confession time. Was Harry Styles a good patient?”

“Good god, no,” Louis laughed, making Dermot crack up and Harry put his hands on his hips, looking shocked. “He was terrible. He hated being stuck in bed, and didn't stop moaning. Good job I didn't marry him for his bedside manner.” Even Harry laughed at that, shrugging slightly. “But in all honesty, it was a horrible time for all of us, but we’ve come through it, and it’s in the past now. I know Harry will always bear the scars of what happened, but it’s made us stronger.”

“That’s so good to hear, and so pleased you’re all healed, Harry. Now, the new music is coming out soon, your new album is due in about a month..”

“Yeah. It’s called Brave, it was named by Jacob, actually, our son. It’s out in just over three weeks.”

“How are you feeling about that? Have you written the songs yourself?”

Harry looked to Louis, indicating he should answer.

“Um, actually, Harry and I wrote the songs on the album. Harry went to Italy a while ago to write and I joined him out there for a few days as well. We managed to put together most of the album, and the last few fell into place afterwards. We’re really proud of the whole thing, actually.”

“And are there any particular songs that are really special to you on there?”

“We wrote a song for our son, we’re keeping it under wraps at the moment, though. There’s quite a few that we wrote for each other, and a few surprises too. So yeah, hopefully something for everyone.”

“What’s your favourite song on there, Louis?”

“Can I?” Louis asked, getting the okay to reveal it from Harry before he did so, aware that most details about the album were still under wraps. Harry nodded and squeezed his hand gently, telling him it was okay to divulge. “Harry wrote me a beautiful song called I Want To Write You A Song. I heard it for the first time in Italy, Harry sang it to me when we were out on our own… it’ll always be really special to me.”

“How about you, Harry?”

“A song called  _ You and I _ . Louis wrote it for me when I was away, sat at my piano in our home and wrote it. It’s beautiful, and although I sang it for the album, I have a version of it he recorded for me that’s for my ears only.”

“You soppy pair,” Dermot teased, loving the emotional connection between the two. “So Harry, I’m sure your fans will kill me if I don’t ask you this… will you be touring the new album?”

“I plan to do something, yes. Obviously my priority now is my husband and our son, but I will look to do a tour, possibly of just the UK and Europe at this point, but yeah, I love playing live and meeting the fans, so I would say yes. We’re also looking at running a special competition for an album launch party for my fans, so they’ll need to keep an eye out on my Twitter for more details of that which will be coming soon.” 

“Exciting times. Louis, you’ve toured with Harry before, is it something you’d want to do again?”

“Definitely. It was tiring, especially being on the road with a child, but Jacob absolutely loved seeing his dad up there every night, singing all the songs. I think Jacob knows all the words to the new album already, so I think he’d be pretty upset if we couldn’t tour with Harry again. It’s a great experience, and Harry’s fans are amazing, very respectful and kind whenever we see them.”

“Yes, they’re always great, especially when we’re out with Jacob. They know we don’t have him on social media a lot, so they respect when I choose to decline photos which I really appreciate. I’m always happy to sign things though, and often, a little chat means more to me than those who just want photos all the time.”

Louis nodded, knowing how much Harry loved interacting with his fans, talking about his music and tours rather than those who just wanted pictures to gain some likes on Twitter. 

“Did you want to do the honours then, Harry? It’s been great to have you both in today, by the way. It’s lovely to meet you as well, Louis, especially since you’ve had such a hand in helping Harry with the new album. I know a lot of people have been curious about you, so I think they’ll appreciate you putting yourself out there a bit more.”

“I’m still new to all this, so I’m sure I’m not great at it, but I’m doing my best. I just… I’m grateful everyone has accepted me so readily, and been so kind. Harry’s fans are wonderful, and it’s exciting to be a part of this.”

Dermot nodded and grinned at the pair. “Go on then, Harry. Introduce your new song to us.”

“Er, I’ve just remembered we promised Jacob we’d say a quick hi to him, he’s waiting for us backstage, so hi Jake, told you we’d say hi..”

“Hi, love,” Louis chimed in, grinning over to where he knew the webcam was, winking at it.

“Hi Jacob, hope you’ve liked watching your daddies, maybe see you in here next time with them,” Dermot replied, smiling. “Go on then, Harry, ready now?”

“Yeah, thanks Dermot. Right, this is the first ever radio play of my brand new single, Hey Angel! It’s out next week, so I hope you like it! Here it is… Hey Angel!”

There was silence for a moment while Dermot cued the track, letting the opening chords run before he muted their microphones, sliding his own headset off a moment, the other boys following quickly.

“That was great, guys. Louis, you did a fab job, wouldn’t guess you haven’t really done this properly before, well done, mate.” Dermot pulled Louis in for a quick hug, patting his back before he broke away and did the same with Harry. “Good luck with the new song, Harry. I really like it, and I can’t wait to hear the new album.”

“I’ll get my team to set you up with a copy if you want?” Harry asked, and Dermot nodded, looking happy to hear that. “Thanks so much for having us, you were my first choice for the new song airplay so I’m really grateful you wanted us on.”

“Ah, it’s my pleasure. You know I’ve supported you for a while, and I think the new song is going to be a hit. Say hi to your kid for me, won’t you?”

“Will do. Thanks Dermot.” Harry took Louis’ hand, and stopped for a couple of quick photos before they headed back to their room, smiling as Jacob ran up to them, hugging them around their waists, clearly more than woken up by now.

“You said hi to me on the radio! Everyone knows you said hi to me,” he said, full of excitement, a big grin on his face as he looked up at his parents. Mel slipped out of the room behind as Harry mouthed a grateful ‘thank you’ to her while Louis hoisted up their son onto his hip. “But you didn't tell them about the baby?”

“No, love. We told you the baby is a secret at the moment, remember? There isn’t a baby just yet, anyway. We’re waiting to find if our special lady wants to help us.”

“Okay, I’ll keep it to myself,” Jacob nodded, watching Harry pull on his hoodie over his shirt, not bothering to take it off again. “What are we doing now?”

“Hmm.” Louis pretended to think and smiled over to Harry. “We thought we’d go shopping, go home and do some laundry, hoover the house, mow the lawn…”

Jacob groaned loudly, smacking his forehead with his hand. “But it’s Saturday and that’s so boring!”

Harry laughed, tweaking Jacob on the nose. “Ah, your dad’s a big bore, isn’t he? How about… swimming and movie night at Nanny Jay’s?”

“YEAH!” Jacob screeched, and Louis hurried to set him down before he kicked him somewhere he’d rather not be kicked in his excitement. “Are you both coming in the pool?!”

“Definitely,” Louis said, pulling Jacob in to whisper in his ear. “And we have to dunk Daddy right under the water, okay? Us two against him, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna kick your butt, Dad!” Harry gasped and picked Jacob up, throwing him over his shoulder as he left, the little boy laughing his head off, drawing attention from lots of people as they headed down the corridor, ready to go home.

“Put! Me! Down!” Jacob screamed as Harry refused, smacking his bum lightly and running away from Louis, promising Jacob was on his team now, that together they were unstoppable. Jacob stopped wriggling and they waited for Louis to catch up since he had the car keys.

“Can’t we all be on the same team? Cos we’re winners together, we can be the greatest team in the whole world!”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Harry grinned, kissing Jacob before he hopped into the car, then kissing his husband too, never shy to show affection in front of Jacob. “Best team in the world, huh, love?”

“Always,” Louis grinned, high-fiving Jacob before he closed his door. “Team Tomlinson for the win.”

*****

Louis grabbed Jacob’s bag from the boot, hooking his PE bag up onto his shoulder as he followed the little boy up the driveway. There was something quite nice about bringing Jacob home from school alone again, just like they used to, back when it was just the two of them. Harry was at a work meeting about album artwork and had been unable to get back in time to collect Jacob, and Louis quite enjoyed collecting his son from the classroom just like the old days.

“Will you hear me read? Mr Fox says if I finish this book, I might be able to go up to gold books!” Jacob called as he hurried into the hallway, kicking off his school shoes and running off before thinking twice and coming back to straighten them up. Harry always reminded him to treat their home with respect, and it was definitely rubbing off on the little boy, and it showed when he did little things like this. Louis grinned and nodded, hanging up Jacob’s coat and setting his school bag down on the floor next to their shoes, ready for the next day.

“Sure, love. Just go and get changed first, okay? Put that jumper out for a wash, please. I have no idea what you do all day to get so messy…”

“That was Taylor’s fault! He opened his yogurt thingy and it bursted and went everywhere! The dinner ladies weren’t very happy cos it was in his hair…” Louis laughed at how wide Jacob’s eyes went at that confession. The little boy thundered up the stairs, sounding twice his weight with his heavy footsteps, and Louis could hear the sound of drawers being opened and closed, clothes undoubtedly being thrown around the room. “DAD! DO I NEED A JUMPER ON?”

“I’ll talk to you when you come here, I’m not shouting,” Louis called, smiling to himself at how some things never changed between them. Jacob jumped down the stairs, a jumper in his hand, a quizzical look on his face. “Up to you, love. It’s fairly warm in here so leave it on the stairs if you want it later. Can we have a chat after we’ve read your book?”

“Yes, Dad,” Jacob mumbled, returning to the hallway and grabbing his school book from his bag, sitting down at the kitchen table while Louis made him a glass of squash and a piece of toast to get him through to dinner time. Harry had promised to get them some take away as a treat on the way home, but Louis hadn’t told Jacob that yet, knowing his son got too excited over things like this. He had something more serious to discuss beforehand, and he needed Jacob calm and in a mood to talk. “Can I read now?”

“Eat your toast, then yes,” Louis mumbled, texting Harry to check things were going well. There was no reply for a little while, but soon enough, his phone pinged, Harry telling him all was well and that he couldn’t wait to be home with his boys. Jacob munched on the last of his crusts, pushing his plate away and swallowing down the last of his juice, wiping his mouth off on the back of his hand. “Ready to read?”

“Yeah, I read the first five pages with Mr Fox today.” Louis watched as Jacob fumbled with the pages, opening the book flat on the table so Louis could see what he was reading. Jacob had been working very hard at school lately with the Special Needs teachers to help him with his dyslexia, and he’d been given a special set of reading books with tinted paper to help his reading, as well as other aides in the classroom to assist him. There’d been a real improvement in his work, and although he’d always put a lot of effort in, things were finally on the up, and Louis was always so proud whenever he got the chance to hear him read.

As Jacob read, trying his best to put expression into his reading like Harry did every night when he read their bedtime story, Louis flicked through his reading diary. Most of it was Harry since they often read as soon as they got in from school, and he smiled at the sight of the little drawings Harry did of Jacob next to the comments he wrote. Louis picked up the pencil at the other side of the table and scribbled quickly, helping Jacob sound out a particularly tricky word.

“Can I go and play X Box please?” Jacob asked once he’d finished the book, talking it through with Louis to make sure he’d understood the story properly.

“Not yet, sit down a minute, I want to ask you something. Will you be honest with me?”

“Um, yes… am I in trouble?” the little boy asked, brow furrowing under his worry. 

“No, not at the moment. I had to pop out on the playground at lunch time though…” Louis watched recognition flicker over Jacob’s features, clearly understanding what his dad was going to ask him. “You and Aaron were sat on the time out bench, and you didn't look very happy. What happened?”

“Didn't you ask Mr Fox?”

“No, I wanted you to tell me. If it was that bad, I’d have been called in, but I’d still like for you to be honest with me and tell me, Jacob.”

Jacob sighed, still looking resolutely at his lap. He mumbled something that Louis couldn’t hear.

“Louder, please. I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said nothing happened, it was stupid.”

Louis sat back, not breaking his gaze on Jacob. He knew it couldn’t have been terrible because he wasn’t informed by any of the school staff, but still, Jacob wasn’t generally a child who got into a lot of trouble at school, and it bothered Louis that he’d seen in his son in time out. Jacob’s cheeks had gone quite pink as well, telling Louis there was more to it than Jacob was letting on. 

“Come on, love. I’m not cross. I just want you to be honest.”

There was silence for a few minutes, then- “Aaron’s stupid.”

“That’s rude. What did he do? Did he hurt you?”

“No, he was mean to me because I said-” Jacob clamped his lips shut again, like he was trying to keep the words inside. 

“You said what?”

“I said that Emelie’s hair was pretty,” he mumbled, blushing furiously again.  “He was being mean to me, and was saying she’s my girlfriend and I called him a stupid poo head, because she isn’t…”

Louis could see Jacob getting worked up, clenching his hands into little fists in his lap and reached out, tugging the edge of his t-shirt until he was in his lap, holding him close. “Love… it’s nice that you told Emelie her hair was pretty, I’m sure that made her feel really good inside. But why did that make you so angry?”

“Because…” Jacob trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, although Louis knew there was something he wasn’t saying. 

“You can tell me, you know. Do you… like Emelie? Would you like her to be your girlfriend?” Jacob’s shrug said it all. “Okay, well, that’s alright, you know. It’s okay to think she’s pretty, and to like her…”

“But why am I not like you and Dad?” Jacob looked up, tears glistening in his bright blue eyes, making Louis’ heart ache. “I thought I’d be like you.”

“What do you mean?” Louis was struggling to make sense of the swerve in the conversation and just hoped Jacob would be open and explain.

“I thought if you liked boys and Dad liked boys, then I would to…” the boy trailed off, and Louis smiled sotly. “But I think Emelie is pretty, and I think the boys are just my friends, like… I don’t think they’re pretty, not like Dad tells you that you are pretty all the time.”

“Well, not everyone is the same, love. Some boys like boys, like me and Dad, some boys like girls like Uncle Niall and Uncle Zayn. Some boys even like boys and girls, and that’s cool too. And if you like girls, then that’s fine, and doesn’t stop you being mine and Daddy’s son. If you like Emelie, that’s really cool, and when you’re old enough and have a girlfriend, me and Dad will be absolutely fine with that. You can like who you like, love. It doesn’t change anything, I promise, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“So I’m still okay to like girls and not boys? Will Dad be cross?”

“Never,” Louis chuckled, shaking his head at how kid’s minds worked. He may have worked with children for years, but they still never failed to blow his mind sometimes. “As long as you’re happy, then we are, okay?”

“Promise?” Jacob mumbled, finally meeting Louis’ eyes.

“I promise. And we can keep this between us, if you want to?” Jacob nodded at that, flinging his arms around Louis’ neck and squeezing tightly. “I love you, Jacob. Just as you are.”

“I love you too, Daddy. I hope when I’m big I grow up like you and Dad, even if I kiss girls and not boys.”

“Me too, love,” Louis muttered, enjoying the closeness with his son. “Nothing in the world would make me prouder.”


	71. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis get some news about the surrogacy, then they celebrate Harry's songs success before it's time for Harry to ready himself for another appointment at the clinic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I hope this one makes up for it! Enjoy, and as always, please leave thoughts in the comments! 
> 
> I'll try not to leave it so long this time... I appreciate it so much that you're all still here. Thank you xx
> 
> Credits for the manip of Louis and Harry goes to Melmanpur!!

“No, Louis, just put it down. We have enough of that shit in the cupboards, come on. I think I’ve got everything we need at the moment, let’s go and checkout. Where the heck has Jacob gone now?” Harry whirled around, looking for the illusive little boy who he spotted over by the magazine rack, the latest issue of Top Gear magazine in his hands. Harry left the trolley with Louis and headed over, pressing a hand down on Jacob’s shoulder. “Hey, what have I told you about wandering off without us?”

“Sorry, Daddy. I just wanted to look at the magazines for a minute cos you and Dad were being boring about food again.” Harry stifled a giggle at Jacob’s honesty and tried to school his features into something more serious, determined to play the serious parent role, even if it was only for a moment.

“Right. Well, you need to tell us and then one of us can bring you over. You’ve been taught about stranger danger at school, love, you need to be careful, especially because of me, okay?” Jacob nodded solemnly and carefully put the magazine back on the rack, looking longingly at it. “We worked out two more weeks pocket money and you’ll have enough to buy it, remember?” He nodded and slotted his hand in behind Harry’s, following him back to Louis and the trolley, where his Dad was waiting for him with a smile. “Can we go home now?”

His parents nodded and together they headed for the checkout. Jacob helped Harry to unload things on the conveyor belt, chatting easily as he did, and then Louis stood at the other end, shoving the things into the bags. He knew Harry would moan about the way he’d done it later, but he was doing his best, and he was sure that counted for something. He smirked when Harry glared at him, placing the bags of forbidden on the conveyor belt, and Harry just shook his head, making Louis laugh even more. Small victories meant a lot to him.

“That’ll be fifty two pounds and thirty four pence, please,” the young man behind the till said politely, looking between Harry and Louis. Harry reached for his wallet and popped his card into the machine while Louis lifted the bags into the trolley, not hearing his phone ring above the din of the supermarket. Jacob, however, like many children his age, was finely tuned into the sound of all technological gadgets and tapped Louis’ side, trying to get his attention.

“Love, can you just wait please,” Louis said, frowning as he looked down at his son.

“But your phone…”

By the time Louis looked at it, he’d missed the call which was from a withheld number, so he shrugged, pushing it back into his pocket as he pushed the trolley outside, Harry holding Jacob’s hand as they walked over to their car in the car park. A couple of fans stopped Harry, asking them to sign something which he did, refusing photos as he always did when he was with his family. Luckily, the fans were respectful and understood, so Louis walked off, leaving Harry with them while he sorted the bags and his son.

“You know, sometimes I actually forget the whole famous thing,” Louis mused as Harry slid into the car, setting off in the direction of home now they’d done the boring weekly shop. “Like, when people come up to you, I genuinely wonder what for until it clicks.” Harry laughed at that, nodding along.

“Yeah, I feel the same, especially when I’m out with you two. It’s even more weird when it’s here because people are so used to seeing us around now, I think. But I don’t mind when they’re nice people like that. If only everyone was that respeciful, huh?”

Jacob was singing along to the latest Little Mix song from the backseat, and Harry had to nearly swerve the car when a scream rang out as the track changed, the DJ quickly introducing it.

“DAD IT’S YOUR SONG TURN IT UP!” Louis smiled and reached for the button, beaming with pride as the opening bars of Hey Angel played on the cars stereo system. Harry chose not to sing along, instead loving listening to his boys sing away to the lyrics he’d written with Louis in Italy, which felt like years ago now.

“Hey angellllllll,” Jacob sang, perfectly in tune. “Tell me do you ever try, to go on the other slide….” Harry snorted at the wrong lyrics while Louis harmonised in the background. “Hey angellllllllllllllll…”

They soon arrived home, and Louis went in first, shutting Percy in the kitchen while they each brought in some shopping bags, Jacob tasked with picking up the bottles of lemonade that were rolling around in the boot. There was a crash as Harry set a bag down in the hallway and he turned around to see Jacob with both bottles rolling around his feet, a meek expression on his face.

“Oops?” he said, scurrying off to collect them up.

“One at a time,” Harry called, muttering to Louis that they’d better not try and open them for a good while. Jacob nodded and did as he asked, passing Harry through the front door and setting them down on the hallway floor. Harry had just lifted another bag and had shut the front door behind them when his phone started to ring. Jacob was racing up the stairs to go and play in his bedroom, while Louis was already starting to put things in the kitchen. He pulled the phone out of his pocket, frowning down at the unknown number.

“Hello, Harry Tomlinson speaking?”

Louis strolled back in to grab the two bags sat on the hallway but paused as Harry held a finger up at him, stopping him in his tracks. Harry had a shocked look on his face but nodded before he realised whoever was on the end of the phone couldn’t hear his nod.

“Um, yes. Oh my goodness, that’s just - wow. Thank you so much. Yes, next Friday is great. Thank you, thank you! Goodbye.”

Louis just stared and put his hands out, palms to the ceiling, waiting to find out more. “Well? Who was that?”

Harry was just staring at him, completely dumbstruck, unable to voice what he’d heard. Louis just watched as tears filled his eyes and a wide smile started to spread across his face, hands actually shaking as he reached out to take Louis’. “Louis, I-” He laughed disbelievingly for a moment, eyes locking on Louis’ own.

“Harry, please, you’re scaring me. Who was that? Tell me.”

“It was… it was the clinic. Fuck, they said… shit. They said…”

Harry choked back a sob and slid down against the wall of the hallway, biting his lip as he looked back up at Louis, overcome with emotion. Louis walked over in three long strides and knelt opposite his husband, his hands on Harry’s knees. “Harry…”

“Sorry Louis, I…” he sniffed and let out a long breath, collecting himself before he said anymore. “It’s Shannon.” He watched as Louis’ face went pale, blood draining as he anticipated Harry’s next words, fingertips digging into Harry’s knees. “She… she signed it, Louis.”

“What?” Louis’ voice was nothing but a whisper, as if saying the words, letting it into the world might make it true.

“Shannon signed the surrogacy paperwork. She’s going to be our surrogate, Louis.” Silence fell for a moment as Louis let Harry’s words sink in. “We’re going to have a baby, Louis. She’s going to give us a baby. My…. our baby.”

Much to Harry’s utter surprise, Louis just crumpled, right in front of his eyes. He almost fell to the floor from where he was crouched and his back heaved with his sobs. Harry just stared for a moment before he realised what was happening, and he reached for Louis, pulling him into his lap, comforting him quietly, a hand on his back.

“My darling, oh Louis…” Harry wasnt sure what he could say to make Louis feel better, or to stop his tears so he didn't try. He just stayed where he was, comforting his boyfriend, letting him know he was there. “Louis… these are happy tears, right?” he dared to ask after a few minutes, needing to know Louis was happy about this, that this wasn’t tears of regret, even though he was almost sure it wasn’t. Harry stilled as he heard Jacob moving around upstairs, and decided he needed to get Louis somewhere Jacob wouldn’t worry about him. He picked Louis up and headed for the stairs, letting Louis sob against his chest as they crept up the stairs and they just about made it to their bedroom when-

“Why is Dad crying?” Harry stilled and turned around, Louis still in his arms as he smiled at their son, trying to mask his own emotions so Jacob wouldn’t worry.

“It’s okay, love, we just-”

“Stop making him cry, I hate it when Dad cries…” Jacob almost squared up to Harry then, and Harry felt shocked, letting Louis down he felt him trying to remove himself from Harry’s grasp. “Dad, come to my room-” Jacob started tugging on Louis’ hand then and Harry’s heart broke a little at the realisation Jacob had thought of the worst of him for a moment, that he’d caused Louis to cry in a bad way.

“Jacob, stop.” Louis was firm, and wiped at his tears with the back of his hand, still trying to catch his breath. “This isn’t Dad’s fault. Give me a minute and we’ll explain, okay?” Jacob nodded and hugged Louis, glaring at Harry before he stomped off back into his room. “Shit, I’m sorry Haz…” Louis laced their fingers and tugged Harry back into their bedroom, shutting the door with a quiet click. “C’mere.”

Louis pulled Harry into a hug and they collapsed back onto the bed together, bodies pressed against the others as they hugged and Louis’ tears finally subsided.

“Louis, please talk to me.”

“I… shit, Harry. It just suddenly hit me when you said that Shannon had agreed. This is real. It’s happening. We’re actually going to be parents, together. We’re really going to have a baby.”

“Yeah, we are.” Harry couldn’t help his grin, biting his lip at the realisation he was going to have his own biological child soon enough, if things went to plan. “You still want that with me?” He watched Louis’ jaw drop, trying to make sense of Harry’s words.

“What are you fucking talking about?”

“Your face, the tears… I dunno, it just…”

“Harry. You fucking twat. I want this more than anything. I think it’s because I’ve wanted it for so long, for a lot longer than we’ve actually admitted to it, that I reacted like this. I think I’m just… I’m overwhelmed? Like… I’m gonna be a daddy again.”

“A fucking amazing Daddy,” Harry grinned back, pulling Louis into a quick kiss. “We have an appointment next week, for the donation.” He grimaced at that and was pleased that his reaction had made Louis laugh again, his tears finally seeming to have subsided. “Oh god, that’s the worst bit of this whole thing.”

“Lady pornnnnnnn,” Louis teased, enjoying far too much how bright red Harry’s cheeks were going. “Shame they can’t just give us a cup and let us do our thing here, would be much more fun for you.”

“Oh fuck off,” Harry murmured, rubbing his nose against Louis’. “Shit, I’d better go and talk to Jacob. I can’t believe he reacted like that, that he really thought I’d made you cry.”

“Let me get him. We’ll talk to him together, yeah? He’s just at that protective age, love. He’d have been the same had it been you crying and me holding you together. There’s a lot going on in his little life, okay?” Harry nodded and just watched as Louis traipsed out of their room, returning a few moments later with a sheepish Jacob in his wake, unable to meet Harry’s eyes.

“Oi, come here,” Harry teased, pulling Jacob over and plopping the boy into his lap, holding him close. He wanted to be the one to approach Jacob first and show him there were no hard feelings, that he was okay. “You know I’d never hurt your Dad, or you, right? I never want to make you cry, darling, either of you.”

Jacob sniffed and nodded, little arms wrapping around Harry’s waist. “I know. I just got scared when Dad cried cos he never cries. You cry a lot, but Dad doesn’t.” Louis stifled a laugh with a cough, and Harry glared at him over the top of Jacob’s head, nodding at the boy. “Why was he crying?”

Harry looked to Louis, who just nodded and sat down beside them, Jacob able to look at them both now. “Well, you know how Dad and I have been meeting with some doctors to find out about us having a baby?” Jacob nodded so Harry continued. “We just got a phone call from the doctors. The lady that we liked, the one we think we’d like to have a baby for us… she said yes. So that means we can move ahead with things.”

“We’re getting a baby?”

“Sort of,” Louis explained, hating how hard this was for a child to understand, but at the same time, he was keen for Jacob to feel part of it, especially after his disclosure a few weeks ago of feeling left out. “She said yes to having a baby for us, which means now the doctors can help her to get pregnant.”

“With Daddy’s special seed,” Jacob said with a knowledgeable nod of his head. Had Harry been drinking anything at the moment, he would have choked. As it was, his eyes flew up to meet Louis’, who luckily looked as shocked as he did.

“With… what? What made you say that?” Louis asked, trying to keep his emotions in check as Harry’s cheeks flushed bright red.

“Ricky told me his big brother said when mummies get babies in their tummies, it’s cos the daddy put a special seed in her. So are you gonna put a special seed in the mummy?”

“Um, well, I- Louis…” Harry whined, unsure how to answer the question, not quite able to believe they were having this discussion with their eight year old son.

“Well, yes, sort of. The doctors will help put, uh, Dad’s seed, into the lady for a baby.” Even Louis was blushing slightly now, and Harry cleared his throat.  “But we’re very happy, that’s why I was crying.”

“Okay.” He pondered for a moment before he kissed Harry and Louis on the cheek, jumping to his feet again. Harry had an inkling Jacob had something to say and he waited, Louis’ hand in his own again.

“You alright, love? You can ask us anything you know.” Jacob nodded a little solemnly, and looked up again, hands on his hips.

“Where does the seed come out?”

*****

“Louis, stop zooming in.”

“How can you tell?”

“You make a silly expression when you do.” Louis just rolled his eyes and zoomed out, making sure Harry was nicely in the middle of the frame, and that the lighting was good. “Come on, Scott from Radio 1 is going to call soon, about the single and if it hit number one. I want to get this done so we can tweet it out afterwards.”

“You sure your management don’t want to do some sort of professional thing?”

“Nah. I wanted it to be like this, from me to the fans, you know? I think it’s much more personal if I do it like this, at home.”

“Want to film a test run? See how it looks?” Harry nodded and sat up straight, taking a sip of the cup of water in front of him before he looked at the camera. “Okay, pressing record in 3, 2, 1…”

“Hey everyone, Harry Styles here-”

“WHERE’S THE OREO BISCUITS?”

Louis sighed and hit the button to stop the recording, rolling his eyes at his son who was now banging about in the kitchen looking for said Oreos. Louis ignored Harry’s laugh as he walked into the kitchen, reaching into the top cupboard to take a biscuit out of the jar, handing one to Jacob.

“Hey, you know Dad’s trying to do this video for Twitter about the special show, think you could keep it down a bit?”

“I can try,” Jacob said, a very serious expression on his face. “But I’m quite loud so I don’t really know.” Louis tickled him for that, and Jacob hopped onto his back as they went back to the lounge, seeing Harry was still sat where he left him beforehand, looking more beautiful than he had a right to be. “Dad, can I watch?”

“Course, bub,” Harry replied, nudging Percy’s ears with his toes, making the puppy growl lowly at him. Jacob flopped down on the stool next to Louis, frowning at the little phone screen in front of them. “Ready, Lou?”

“Yep. 3, 2, 1…”

“Hey, Harry Styles here-”

“I thought you were Harry Tomlinson?”

“Jacob! For goodness sakes,” Louis said, hitting the stop button. He gave him a wide eyed expression. “We need to get this done, I thought you were going to be quiet for us.”

“But he got his name wrong!”

“Love, you know I’m still Harry Styles with my music stuff,” Harry explained gently, beckoning Jacob over and sitting him next to him. “I’m Harry Tomlinson at home, but for work, I have to use the name everyone knows, okay?”

“Alright,” Jacob said a shrug, hopping up to chase after Percy who had moved into the middle of the sitting room, a bone between his big brown paws. “Sorry, I’ll be quiet.”

“Okay. Let’s try one more time, shall we?” Louis said, ensuring the camera was lined up again. “And 3, 2, 1…” He smiled as Jacob stood next to him, hands on the stool in front as he watched Harry on the screen, as opposed to the man sat across the room from him.

“Hey everyone, Harry Styles here. I just wanted to thank you all so far for the support on my new single Hey Angel, I’m really pleased you’ve all loved it! As you know, I have my new album coming soon-”

“It’s called Brave!” Jacob chimed in but Harry carried on, thinking it sounded cute to have Jacob in it, especially given it was him who had named it.

“Thanks Jacob, he’s right, it’s called Brave. And to celebrate, I’m going to holding a special preview concert of the album, just for my fans. There will only be five hundred of you there, and the only way in is to win.” Harry grinned at the camera, and Louis caught his eye, winking at him. “Over the next few days on Twitter, I’m going to be posting opportunities for you to enter. Then when it’s done, five hundred winners will be picked and sent their tickets for the show, which is in a month’s time, three days before the album launch.”

“Can I come?”

“Yes, Jake, you can come. So keep an eye on Twitter for your chance to win tickets to the exclusive show, the only way to be inside is to win your way in! Good luck, and thanks as always for the amazing support. You really are the best fans in the whole world. All the love.” Harry blew a few kisses at the camera and smiled before Louis turned it off, raising an eyebrow at Jacob again who just grinned back.

“We’ll do it again in a bit, without Jake piping up,” Louis said but Harry hurried to shake his head. “No?”

“No. I like it… makes it seem more real, you know? I want people to know I’m a family man, Lou. I love when Jacob pops up, reminds me I’m a dad. I don’t want to close that part of my life off all the time. It’s real, and it’s me… it’s us.”

“You bloody sap,” Louis teased, shifting over slightly so Harry could sit down next to him, both watching the playback together. “It’s lovely, actually. The way you grin when Jake talks, it’s so sweet. You’re lovely, Harry Styles.”

“It’s Tomlinson to you, and you know it,” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips. They only pulled apart when they heard Jacob making retching sounds behind them, still laid out on the floor with his dog, who was scarily getting rather large. “Can I not show Dad that I love him lots?”

“Not when I can see,” Jacob snapped back, making both Harry and Louis laugh. “I never see anyone else’s mums and dads kiss as much as you do.”

“Well, we love each other. That’s a good thing,” Louis said, snuggling up close to Harry. “You don’t like it when we fight, so…”

“Come on Percy, let’s go and play somewhere else,” Jacob shouted and ran upstairs, the puppy lazily chasing them both now. Harry just nuzzled into Louis’ neck, sucking on the skin slightly, making Louis whine, his voice low.

“Mm, Haz, not on my neck, the kids at work…” Harry reluctantly pulled off, licking over the mark, reaching down to palm Louis’ crotch, his body already responding to his touch. “Hey… if your donation is on Friday, that means we can’t have sex now, right?”

“Shit,” Harry cursed, remembering that was definitely the case. “Oh for fuck’s sakes Lou. We should have fucked one last time before I can’t come anymore. Oh god…”

“Baby, it’s not the end of the world. I told you before, I won’t come either so it’s not just you going through it, okay?”

“But you’re still gonna help me, right? With the donation?”

“We’ll see,” Louis purred, pressing against Harry’s crotch again, making him groan. “So actually, I do have to come before you. But it’s _for_  you, so that makes it okay, yeah?”

“Suppose so.” Harry pouted comically and Louis kissed it gently, looking into Harry’s eyes. “Do you think the fans are gonna like the idea of the concert, then?”

“Yeah, I reckon so. Be exciting for them to hear the album before anyone else, and making it random like this means people can’t get too arsey about the same old fans meeting you or whatever.” Harry nodded, knowing Louis was entirely right. He wanted to do it the fairest way he could, and this seemed like it when he’d discussed it with management. “I’m just going to start dinner, shouldn’t get a call just yet so I might as well get things going.”

“What have we got?”

“Lasagna?”

“Yum. I’m gonna go and help Jacob with that homework, so give us a shout if you need anything. And Harry?”

“Yes, Lou?”

“I love you, baby.” Harry grinned and blew Louis a kiss from where he was now stood in the doorway, looking back at his gorgeous husband, encased in one of Harry’s shirts, the fabric hanging from his tiny frame.

Dinner was prepared and eaten quickly, and they’d just sat down together in the living room when Harry’s phone rang out, a withheld number Harry assumed to be the radio station. He answered and nodded as he was put on hold, waiting for Scott Mills, the host of the chart show to come on and talk to him, and finally reveal how Hey Angel had charted after a week of sales.

“...and right now on the phone, I have the one and only Harry Styles! Good evening, young Harold.”

“Hey Scott, how are you doing?”

“I’m good Harry, thanks for joining us.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

“So Harry, are you excited to see how the single has been going? Have you seen any of the comments about it on social media?”

“Yeah, actually, the fans have been great, and it’s gotten a lot of air play on the radio too, which is great so thank you everyone for your support. “

“Dad-” Jacob started tugging Harry’s sleeve but Louis stopped him with a glare.

“Ah, is that your son I hear with you? Am I interrupting some family time, Harry?”

“Not at all, Scott, but yeah, that’s Jacob. Jake, did you want to say hi?”

Jacob’s eyes widened and he nodded, taking the phone and putting it near his mouth, Louis and Harry both able to hear since the latter had put it on speakerphone.

“Hello.”

“Hi Jacob, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Jacob paused, unsure what to say, well aware he was on the radio. “Um…”

“So Jacob, have you heard your dad’s new album?” Jacob’s eyes lit up. This was a topic he knew all too well, and Harry loved how he started bouncing in his seat, excited to talk about it.

“Yeah, it’s amazing! I really like all the songs, I have them all on my iPod and Dad has given me my own CD of it before everyone else in the whole world because I’m his biggest fan, and I’m his son too, so yeah, its exciting. And I hope the song is number one because he loves this song and he sings it to Daddy all the time when he thinks I’m not listening to them…”

Harry blushed deeply at that, his secrets for his husband being revealed to the world because of Jacob’s candor.

“Well, Jacob, do you want to know a secret?”

“Yeah,” Jacob whispered back, making Harry bury his face in Louis’ shoulder, stifling a laugh. “I mean, yes please. Daddy doesn’t like it when I say yeah.”

“Manners are important,” agreed Scott, Jacob still nodding along to his words. “Okay, so secret time… are you ready?”

“Yes please.” Jacob was bouncing again in his seat, and Louis stilled him with a hand, not waking him to wake Percy who had fallen asleep by his feet.

“So Jacob…. Hey Angel….” Harry’s eyes widened, realising what Scott was doing and he sat up, fingers crossed in his lap, eyes locked on Louis’. “Well, it’s this weeks number one!”

“YAY! My Dad is gonna be so happy, thank you very much- oh no.”

“Oh no? Is something wrong?” Scott asked, voice laced with concern at the boys words.

“They’re kissing again. My dads. All they do at the moment is kiss, all the time, everywhere in the house, especially since they found out about the b-”

Louis only just reached out and slapped a hand across Jacob’s mouth, silencing him. The little must have realised what he’d done because his eyes widened comically and he replaced Louis’ hand with his own. “Oh no…”

“Sorry, Scott, he just got a bit excited there.” Harry took the phone back and kissed Jacob’s head, telling him it was okay. “But that is amazing, I’m so excited it’s number one! Wow, thank you so much everyone who has bought it or streamed it, this means so much to me, it’s a really special song.”

“Well, it’s outsold and outstreamed the rest of the top five by itself, Harry, so that’s an amazing achievement, well done.”

“I just… wow, I don’t know what to say! Just thank you to all the fans for their incredible support, they’ve waited a while for this, so I hope they’ve loved it as much as I have.”

“Thank you for joining us, Harry, and your son, and your husband who I assume must be there somewhere with you too-”

“Hey, Scott!” Louis called, making Jacob grin and climb further onto his lap.

“Hi, Louis. Harry - good luck with the album, I am sure it’s going to be great, and I’ll look forward to hearing it in a few weeks time.”

“Yep, it’ll be here before you know it! Thanks Scott, bye!”

“Bye to the Tomlinson’s. Here it is, the UK’s number one single… Hey Angel by Harry Styles!”

Harry hung up the phone as the record started to play and they all stood up in the middle of the sitting room, laughing and singing along to the track, Percy watching with one eye cracked on at the craziness around him. At some point in the song, Harry picked up Jacob and danced him around the room, Louis harmonising with him, and it was just a perfect moment.

“I love you, both of you,” Harry said as the song ended, fading into the next presenter, who started to compliment on the track, making them all smile. “I couldn’t have done this album with you two, no way.”

“But you did songs before you knowed us.”

“Knew us, darling. But yes, I did. You’re right. The thing is…” Harry released a deep breath, knowing he was going to get sentimental for a minute. “The songs I wrote… they didn't mean as much. Now I’m writing them for you two, it all means so much more. They’re all about my love for my husband and my son, my family. I don’t ever want to have to write about anything or anyone else.”

“I’ll let you write about the new baby, though. That’s okay.” Harry laughed at Jacob’s honesty, kissing his little cheek softly.

“Yeah, I’ll be writing about them, too, love. Don’t worry. I think we need to have an ice-cream to celebrate my number one song, don’t you?” Jacob cheered and wriggled down onto the floor, running into the kitchen which made Percy excited, clearly expecting to get a second round of dinner. “You know what’s funny?”

“What?”

Harry stepped over and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, pulling him closer. “Last time I got a number one, I was in the office with my team. We just listened to it on the radio, and someone popped a bottle of champagne, and I sat there, sipping it, and although I was surrounded by people, I felt so alone. No one hugged me, they just shook my head.”

“Oh Haz…”

“But now? Now I’m in my home, and I’m having a - thank you, love-” he took the Fab lolly Jacob had thrust into his hand and grinned down at it. “-now I’m having a Fab lolly to celebrate with my boys, and I think it’s the best thing in the world.”

“Only the best lollies for you,” Louis teased, unwrapping his and licking up the side a little too suggestively. He held up his lolly, ready to make a toast of sorts. “To Harry. The best husband and Dad, and the creator of the country’s number one single. Congratulations babe, I love you.”

“I love you more, well done Daddy!” They all touched lollies for a moment and Harry pressed cold lipped kisses to each of his boys.

“Love you, both of you, so much. It’s for you. All of it, it’s all for you.”

  


*****

_One week later_

Harry reluctantly dragged his heels as Louis strolled in through the doors of the clinic, like he didn't have a care in the world. Harry was jealous of that. Louis didn't have to worry about going in to that room, being confronted by the piles of lady porn inside, having to jerk off into a cup so they could create an embryo that just might become their son or daughter someday very soon. Things had moved quickly since Shannon had agreed to be their surrogate, and she’d told the clinic she was happy to start with her next cycle which was apparently the middle of the following week, which is why they had made such a quick appointment with Harry for his donation.

“They said take a seat, they’ll call us through. Oh come on, shift your arse.” Harry rolled his eyes and followed Louis, the pair lowering themselves into the padded seats. It was quiet and there was only two other couples in the room. Nobody in there was paying anyone else any attention, all too focused on their own situations to worry about what anyone was doing. Harry appreciated it. The last thing he wanted was to be splashed all over the papers at a fertility clinic. He and Louis had decided to announce nothing about the potential surrogacy or baby, thinking they’d make an announcement when the time was right.

“You’re gonna be fine, baby,” Louis said, reaching for Harry’s hand and holding it gently on his thigh. “I know you hate this part, I do. But unless you want to have sex with her-”

“Eww, no thank you.”

“Exactly. Not sure Shannon’s husband would be up for that either, to be honest. So, coming is a cup is the way forward, for now at least. Be nice to ease up on those blue balls of yours anyway won’t it?”

“Louis!” Harry hissed, looking around frantically to make sure no one else had heard Lous’ crude comment. “Seriously? Tell the world why don’t you.”

“Stop being dramatic. I promised you I’d make it up to you later in bed so shush.” They sat silently as Louis texted his Mum, promising that they’d collect Jacob after their appointment, and she sent him a few picture messages of Jacob helping the youngest twins to colour in at the table, making both Louis and Harry smile. “He’s going to be such a good big brother, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Harry said, looking wistfully at the pictures. “I can’t wait to see him with his brother or sister.”

“Me neither. I never thought he’d get the chance, you know, to have siblings I mean. I really always thought it was going to be me and him on our own forever, until he found a girl or boy he fell in love with, and got married and stuff. So this is just.. It’s beyond my wildest dreams, Haz. I never wanted him to be alone, not really. And now he won’t be, because you’ve come into our lives and made this happen.”

“Louis, don’t make me cry before this appointment or I swear I’m not gonna be able to get it up.”

“Sorry. But… thank you. For wanting to make our family complete.” They kissed softly, jumping as Harry’s married name was called over the speaker system, and they shuffled back to the familiar room, greeting Dr Waters before they sat down. She explained how things were going to work, that they’d use Harry’s sample to create an embryo which would be implanted into Shannon the following week. They’d then wait at least two weeks for Shannon to take a pregnancy test and go from there.

She smiled and got them to fill in a bit more paperwork, chatting about Harry’s single and Jacob before she handed Harry a pot, the man giving her a tight smile as he took it, trying to hide it slightly. This part made Harry so uncomfortable, and in a way, he wished it was going to be Louis’ biological child so it was him who had to go through this. Somehow, Harry wasn’t sure Louis would be bothered anyway, that he’d just get on with it and see it as something he had to do.

They thanked the doctor and walked out, turning right to head to the corridor with the ‘wank bank rooms’, as Louis so beautifully put it that morning in bed, when he was snuggled up to Harry’s bare body, steadfastly ignoring Harry’s morning wood which was brushing his thigh. Harry had slapped his bum, and ignored it, although he now couldn’t get the term out of his head.

“You’re thinking about what I called it this morning, aren’t you?” Louis said with a smirk, and Harry ignored him, which just made Louis cackle even more. “Sorry, love.”

“No, you’re not.” Harry hovered outside the door, sliding his coat off and handing it to Louis. He sighed heavily, and trudged towards the door, keen to get this over with. “Gonna give me a good luck kiss, then?”

“I’ll give you more than that.” Harry frowned but watched as Louis rifled in his pocket, producing his phone for a moment. “It’s, uh, in the Hidden album on my phone. The last thing in there.”

“Shit. You didn't.” Harry had teased Louis about it all week, but now it was here, he was shocked that Louis really had gone through with it, that he’d done something to help Harry through this bit.

“I did. It’s, um… well, you’ll see. Just enjoy it, yeah? I’ll be deleting it the minute you get out of there.”

“Fuck. I love you so much, you know that?” Harry pulled Louis in to his chest and kissed him deeply, their tongues brushing against the others for a moment. Harry felt his body responding, too long since he’d last orgasmed. He groaned, pushing his crotch against Louis’, feeling Louis grow inside his own jeans too. “Fuck-”

“Get in there, go on. The sooner you get done, the sooner I can take you home and fuck you hard, just like you asked me to the other day, okay?”

“Please-” Harry kissed him again but pulled back, dark eyes on Louis’. “Okay, I’ll go in. Got my Louis porn, I’m all set.”

“Don’t _ever_ say that again,” Louis warned, pointing a finger at his laughing husband, who was palming himself in the doorway. “Louis porn, fucking hell..”

Harry giggled again but nodded, smiling at Louis before the door shut behind him. Harry slid the lock across and took a breath, looking around. This time, he was pleased to see two stacks of magazines in there, lady porn as usual, but there was also some magazines he would enjoy had he not got a rather hot video in his possession. He’d never been one for wanking to strangers anyway. His husband got him hotter under the collar than anyone else ever had, and some of the dirty pictures they’d taken of each other blew Harry’s mind on a regular basis.

Harry walked over to the bed, undoing the button of his jeans as he did so, pleased Louis had riled him up a bit before he’d gotten inside. It meant he wasn’t starting from square one, and he grabbed a packet of lube from the side that the clinic kindly left there for anyone who needed it. Harry took his trousers off and decided to settle on the small bed to the side of the room, a thin paper sheet draped over it that Harry assumed he’d have to remove when he was done. Classy.

He reached down and palmed himself over the cotton of the tight black boxers he had on, pressing down on the wet tip of his cock, making himself moan quietly. He fumbled with Louis’ phone, inputting the passcode, the screen soon lighting up with the background photo of Harry and Jacob, cheeks pressed together, grinning widely at the camera. It was a stunning photo, and Harry’s heart fluttered at the fact Louis still that as his wallpaper, all these months after it was taken just after Christmas.

“Right, let’s see what you’ve been up to then, Lou.” Harry scrolled down to the hidden album and saw a video file at the bottom, sixteen minutes long. Harry bit his lip and slid his hand into his boxers, hitting play on the screen, letting Louis’ voice fill the room.

**************

_Louis clicked play on the camera and shuffled backwards, looking into it and grinning. Harry and Jacob had gone off to Anne’s to show off some of Jacob’s school work, and he’d been left alone for a few hours of peaceful bliss. He’d waved them off with a smile before locking the front door behind them and had sprinted up the stairs, jumping in the shower and readying himself for what he was about to do. Never in his life did he think he’d make one dirty video, let alone two, but hey, Harry was worth it._

_“So,” he said, his voice a little husky with nerves. “Hello, love. I, uh, I know you hate this bit of the whole baby process so I promised you a little something to help you along. I’ve been thinking what I could do to make this special for you, because I didn't want it to be the same as before. So… I came up with this. And if you ever tell another soul about this, Harry Tomlinson, you’ll never get my cock ever again.”_

_He smiled and walked back slowly, aware that the camera would be revealing him inch by inch, hopefully keeping his lower body out of it. He slipped Harry’s black shirt off his shoulder, the one with Styles stitched in white onto the black fabric, exposing a little of his skin as he gave the camera a coy smile._

_“I know how much you like seeing me in your clothes. This shirt in particular is a favourite of mine. Love your name being stitched on it, feels like it makes me belong to you somehow. But that’s not all I stole from your drawers…”_

_He turned around and pulled the shirt up enough that his arse would be displayed, encased in the red lace of Harry’s favourite knickers. They were fairly snug around Louis’ hips, and although he didn't usually go for wearing knickers himself, preferring to look at or fuck his husband in them, he had to admit they did something for his curves, something he knew Harry would most definitely approve of._

_“You like? Got to say, I get the appeal, why you like to wear these. They feel nice on my cock, and I think they make my arse look curvier. Wasn’t actually sure that was possible, to be honest. But yeah.” Louis slowly turned around, exposing his hardening cock to the camera, tucked into the confines of the lace. He looked up at the camera under his eyelashes, letting out a long, slow breath. “Thought I’d have a little bit of fun with this, Harry. Want to make this as fun for you as I can.”_

_He walked over to the bed and crawled on, deciding to leave Harry’s shirt on his body, knowing when it was open, it shouldn’t block the view of anything he was doing. To be honest, it smelt of Harry and Louis felt a little calmer with that scent around him, as if Harry was here in some way. His knee nudged something he’d let out on the bed and he grinned, picking it up._

_“Ah. We haven’t made anywhere near enough use of this, have we? Think we’ll have to try it out when I can fuck you again. For now though…” he reached down and coated his cock in lube, stroking gently, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the slit, collecting the precome. He got up onto his knees, making sure the camera would have a good view. That was the whole point of this after all. He looked down at his hard cock, and picked up the cock ring, hissing as he slid it into place. He wasn’t all that keen on the feeling, but he knew he wanted to prolong this as much as he could, and this was the best way. Harry, on the other hand, loved how it felt when he wore one._

_“Fuck… not as keen on this as you are, baby. The things I do for you, huh?” Louis continued to wank himself slowly, loving how hard he was getting, knowing it was because of the images of Harry in the cock ring running through his mind. He remembered last time how Harry had nearly blacked out when he’d come so hard. Louis had virtually ripped off the cock ring mid sex and Harry had sworn afterwards he’d never come so hard. It was still one of the hottest rounds of sex they’d ever had. “Shit, wish you were here now… want so badly to be inside you. S’my favourite place to be, you know.”_

_Louis lowered himself onto the bed, letting his legs lay flat against the bed, hard cock in his hand as he stroked. He wasn’t being too gentle, enjoying the slight burn of his hand around his shaft, the cock ring preventing himself from going over the edge. He looked over at the camera, and kept his gaze there._

_“Love when you wank me off, Haz. Love your big hand around, how your long fingers feel wrapped around me, making me feel so good. Think it’s almost as good as when they’re inside me, to be honest.” He blushed at the dirty talk flooding from his lips, but kept going, knowing how much dirty words turned his husband on, especially when he was wanking. “I wish you were here now. I wish you were sucking love bites into my skin, between my thighs, on my hips. Love when you mark me up, make me yours. I know I wear my wedding ring and my necklace from Italy but I love the marks you put on me. Ah!”_

_Louis cried out at a rough tug, and reached down for the other toy he’d put on the bed. He eyed up the large pink toy, something they’d had fun with lately. Harry had really welcomed the use sex toys in bed, and loved when Louis told him to grab something from the box. He especially loved the vibrating dildos they’d added since Harry’s purchase at Christmas. Louis had selected probably the biggest one for this, knowing Harry would know that, and he really wanted to give Harry a good show._

_He picked up the bottle of lube, coating a couple of fingers quickly. He winced as a blob of lube landed on his thigh but he ignored it, facing the camera again, his hard cock bobbing free, the knickers still on, tucked under his balls. He looked obscene but he had a feeling Harry would love seeing him this way. He stroked his cock as he looked at the camera again._

_“I’m gonna turn around now, give you a bit of a view.” He picked up the dildo and held it up against his cheek with a smirk. “Think I might give this one a bit of a go. Love that it’s nearly as big as your cock…”_

_Louis got onto his hands and knees and pushed his knickers to the side, running the tip of his index finger around his hole, the dildo now laying back on the bed, ready for when Louis had opened himself up. He pushed the tip of his finger inside himself, groaning loudly as he did so. He wanted Harry to know exactly how good he felt. This felt ridiculously filthy but somehow, Louis felt himself getting into it, enjoying the dirty aspect of making a video like this for the sole purpose of getting his husband off._

_“Ah god… love it when you stretch me open with your long fingers, Harry. I remember the first time, how good it felt to have you fill me up, how amazing you felt. Shit…” He pulled out and sank back inside himself with two fingers, breathing through the burn. “Oh fuck… wish this was you, can never get deep enough on my own… you always hit my spot so easy..”_

_Louis continued to finger himself open, moaning and whining loudly, making sure Harry could hear every sound escape his lips as he watched. Louis’ fingers moved quickly and deftly, scissoring and stretching his rim, knowing he had to be well prepped to take this dildo, especially on the first try. He was nervous but at the same time, he was incredibly turned on and ready to get something inside him, even if that thing wasn’t attached to his sexy as fuck husband._

_Louis slid his fingers out and wiped them down, staying in position for a moment. He looked over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out at the side of his mouth before he moved so he was side on. He could feel his cock hanging heavily between his legs, and he stroked it gently, making sure the cock ring was in place. He picked up the dildo and covered it in lube, knowing it would hurt less if it was as slippery as possible. Louis gripped the toy in his hand and turned his hand to the side, his ass high in the air._

_“Gonna imagine this is your big cock filling me up and fucking me good.” He pushed forward and gasped as the tip of it pushed inside his body, stretching him already more than his fingers had done. “Fuck… forgot how big this one is… oh fuck… want you Haz, so bad…” Louis didn't stop. He just pushed the toy in further, the stretch so much by now, his body almost protesting against it. “Oh fucking hell… so big…”_

_Eventually the toy was in as deep as it could go and Louis just held it in place, breathing heavily, looking over to the camera. “You like this, huh? Watching me fuck myself just for you? Never thought I’d be making a porn video for my video, let alone- ah, god! This fucking dildo is huge, how do you fucking take this so easily, huh? Oh god..”_

_Louis started to rock the toy back and forth, his hips moving with it. His cock was leaking heavily against the bed, dripping down, and the knickers and lace felt tight underneath his balls, supporting him. He could feel the knickers wanting to ping back across his ass, so with his free hand, he shoved them further across his other cheek, hoping that Harry would still be able to see them. He’d never worn lace for his husband before, but he was sure after this, Harry would make sure that changed._

_“When you’re done with what you’re doing… I’m gonna take you home,” Louis began, steadily pushing the toy into his body and pulling it out again in deep motions, not ready to fuck himself with abandon just yet. “I’m gonna get you on the bed, probably tie you up, I reckon. Know how much you love that, me taking control, ruining you.” Louis was surprising himself with how easily the filthy words were coming out now, so he carried on, getting worked up himself with images of what would happen in a few days after Harry’s sample was done._

_“Gonna tie your pretty wrists to the bed, baby, then I’m gonna kiss you everywhere… your lips, your neck, your nipples… your cock… fuck, yes, god, so good.” He writhed slightly as the toy sank in deeper, grazing his spot. “Then I’m gonna eat you out until you beg me to stop, but I won’t. I’m gonna make you come from my tongue… you always taste so good for me, love watching you fall apart because of my mouth.” Louis licked his lips and continued._

_“Then I’m gonna fuck you so hard, so hard you slide up the bed, you call out my name, beg me to fuck you harder and faster. You’re gonna feel my hard cock deep inside you, making you feel so fucking good, baby. Love how good you look with my cock inside you, how you beg me for me. Love that only I get to see you fall apart like that, all naked and fucking sexy. Shit… everytime I close my eyes, I see your body…”_

_Louis hummed at the thought, of Harry’s tattoos, his curvy hips, the trail of hair leading down to his big cock, long and thick, perfect for Louis. “Mmm, god, wish you were here now, we’d have so much fun. For now, though…” Louis fumbled down between his legs and cried out when he found what he was looking for, flicking the small switch with his thumb. “Oh fuck! Forgot how strong this was… ah! Oh my god, Harry….”_

_The vibrations were intense. It wasn’t a dildo that had several setting, instead it just had one that was fairly powerful. It always made Harry come very quickly, but Louis had the cock ring on, preventing the orgasm he was so desperate for. “I’m gonna fuck you until I come inside you, then I’m gonna use my mouth again and lick you clean… know how much you love that, baby. Then I’m gonna suck you off til you come again, til you’re sore and you can’t do it anymore. Oh fuck, Harry…”_

_Louis was on the precipice of his orgasm now, and he rocked the toy faster into his arse, his muscles clenching around its girth, the vibrations driving him wild with desire. “Shit, want you to use this on me soon, love how this feels… can see why you love it so much. Wanna come for you, Haz… you know what? I love when you come on me. Makes me feel like I’m yours. You don’t that enough, coming on me. Want you to, please-”_

_Louis fell silent as he started pumping the dildo in and out of him in a frantic rhythm, chasing his own orgasm now._

_“I’m thinking about what you’re - ah, fuck - what you’re doing now… how hot you must look with your big cock in your hand, watching me get off. Shit, wish I could come in there and help you… fuck, Harry, I’m close, I wanna come…”_

_He pulled the toy out and sat up, staring down at his hard cock laying in his lap. He pulled off the cock ring and almost sighed with relief, running his finger over his slit, whimpering at how sensitive he felt. He turned so his body was facing the camera, shirt hanging off his body, knickers tight on his hips. He lifted up and angled the dildo underneath him, quickly sinking back down on it, letting it fill him up._

_“Oh my- fucking hell, Harry!” Louis rode the dildo hard and fast, thigh muscles burning with the rise and fall of his body, but he remained upright, wanting Harry to see the moment he lost control of himself. “Harry, shit, I’m coming, oh fuck-” Louis slammed his body back down on the dildo hard, and that was it. He came with a cry of Harry’s name, come splattering over the knickers, his bare thighs, and lower stomach. He was a mess but he loved it. He kept rocking gently, the vibrations encouraging each pulse of his orgasm until it was too much, and it started to hurt._

_He lifted himself off and sighed in satisfaction, running a finger through a streak of come on his thigh, smearing it down his softening cock. He laughed softly at the camera, feeling spacey and sated now he’d finally come, his body feeling entirely spent. His legs ached, and he knew he’d be feeling an ache in his arse for days. It was, however, entirely worth it._

_“Hope you enjoyed that. I know I did.” He laughed, and his heart suddenly panged with missing his husband, and the post coital cuddle they always indulged in, however fleeting it had to be depending on what they were doing. “I love you, Haz. Hope it helped and, uh, have fun…” He blew a kiss at the camera and winked, getting up and sliding his cock back into the knickers, letting Harry had one more look before he strolled over, swaying his hips as he did so. He turned off the camera and sighed, looking down at the mess on his body. “Back in the shower, I guess…” he muttered as he let the shirt fall off his body, down onto the floor in a puddle._

******************

“Holy fuck, oh my god-” Harry panted out, frantically reaching for the jar as he started to come. He could feel the come landing on his stomach and he grabbed his cock, aiming as best he could as the orgasm wracked through his body. His eyes couldn’t believe what they’d just seen Louis do. It was beyond anything Harry could ever have dreamed of, and fuck if he wasn’t going to make sex amazing for Louis later on to thank him.

He kept stroking until he was sore, and set the jar on the table, hands trembling with how good he felt. He sighed and slowly sat up, grimacing at the mess he’d made of himself. He hadn’t quite got the pot ready in time and now drops of come were on his shirt that he hadn’t bothered to remove, and was all over his legs. He grabbed tissues from the box on the table next to him and tried to clean himslef up before realising it was a fruitless task and that he’d just have to wait until he got home for a shower… preferably with Louis.

He looked down at Louis’ phone, smirking at the screen he’d left it paused on, Louis staring at the camera, cheeks red and pupils blown. He looked fucked out, exactly as Harry liked him to look. He closed the phone down and pulled up his boxers, making sure his cock was tucked in before he reluctantly pulled on his jeans, trying to hide the stain along the lower half of his shirt, sighing when he realised how obvious it was. “Shit…”

Finally, he took the pot and tightened the lid, slipping it into the specimen bag he was given, sealing it down, double checking the label on the outside had his patient ID number printed on, which it did. He put his boots on and unlocked the door, grabbing his jacket as he left the room. Louis looked up from where he was sat in a row of chairs opposite the door and just stared at his husband, cheeks red as they stared each other down.

“Come here,” Harry growled, and Louis obeyed, getting up and dashing over to his husband, looking at the stain and giggling. “You see what you’ve done to me? Fuck, Lou, I nearly didn't get any in the pot, I came so fucking hard…”

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I-” He was cut off by Harry’s lips pressing against his, a deep and insistent kiss that neither of them cared anyone could witness.

“Don’t apologise… that was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Louis smirked, and darted his tongue out, brushing Harry’s lower lip with it. “Watching you fuck yourself like that… fuck… you’re gonna do that again for me, right? With me in the room, watching you?”

“If you want,” Louis murmured back, trying to ignore the fact he was getting hard in his trousers too. “And Haz?”

“Mm?” Harry muttered as they walked into the reception area hand in hand, Harry dropping the sample bag off in the bin provided before they left. “Yeah, Lou?”

Louis stopped him and tugged him down, his lips brushing against the outer shell of Harry’s ear.

“I’m wearing those lacy knickers right now….” He grabbed Harry’s hand and slid it into the back of his trousers, Harry’s fingers brushing the rough lace. His groan reverberated in the entranceway of the clinic, and he pulled his hand out, grabbing a handful of Louis’ arse before he hurriedly followed Louis’ swaying hips out of the door, more keen than ever to get his husband home and into their bed.

 

 


	72. Helium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry makes his stage comeback at his album release show with a couple of special guests in tow. They celebrate before an important call comes from the clinic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spread positivity and kindness. Gonna be sad when this one ends soon.
> 
> Enjoy. Do let me know your thoughts in the comments. xx

“Are you sure this looks okay?” Harry moved and stood in front of the small full length mirror, taking care not to step on his son who was splayed out on the floor on his stomach, reading a Top Gear magazine Louis had bought him earlier to keep him quiet backstage while everyone prepared for the concert. “I don’t know, does it look daft?”

Louis tutted and shook his head at his husband’s negativity, wondering where the self-doubt was coming from. Harry had pretty much spent the week in rehearsals with his band while Louis had gone about his job as usual, and Jacob had reluctantly gone to school. He’d begged and pleaded with Harry to let him come to the rehearsals, but Harry had stood strong, telling him school was important, and that he was coming to the concert anyway. Jacob had pouted all night after being told that, realising he wasn’t going to get his own way but soon got over it when Louis threatened to not let him come at all with an attitude like that.

Harry had had a few late nights in rehearsals, and made it up to Jacob last night, reading two thirds of their bedtime story to him, eventually falling asleep in the little boy’s bed, his head on his chest. Louis had walked in and nearly cried at the sight, gently shaking Harry awake and telling him to get to bed before he tucked Jacob back in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, tucking his favourite teddy in with him. Louis loved seeing cosy moments like that, and his mind kept drifting away to thoughts of Harry falling asleep with their little baby on his chest soon enough. Nothing made Louis happier.

“Sweetheart, you look gorgeous. Trust me, you look wonderful. Stop doubting yourself, Haz.” Harry nodded and ran a hand through his hair, pushing the curls back from his face. “You loved it when you got fitted this week, what’s changed?”

“Dunno, just..” Harry shrugged again, not able to put his finger on why he was suddenly feeling negative about the suit Calvin Klein had sent him. It was a gorgeous royal blue, one that reminded him of his husband’s eyes, and it was snug on his frame. “Nah, ignore me. Just having the usual wobble before I go on stage. It’s been a while, I think that’s why I’m feeling the nerves. Too used to be at home and being a house husband, that’s my problem.”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Louis muttered as he rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder, arms coming around his waist as they gazed at their reflection. “You’re going to be amazing, do you know that? The team said they’d never seen so many entries as they did for your show. I can’t believe how many people wanted to be here.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. His Twitter competition to win tickets to the special album preview show had been ridiculously well received, and the number of entries was just phenomenal. Harry was just grateful he hadn’t had to do anything to pick the winners, and instead just sent out a generic tweet congratulating the winners, telling them he couldn’t wait to see them in a week’s time. Lots of fans had been sad about not winning, but Harry knew there was no way all of them could come, so he settled for pushing his worries out of his mind, and focused on making it the best show for those in attendance as he could.

“Dad, you look cool. For a dad, I mean.” Jacob smiled and returned his attention to the glossy pages. 

“Well, I am a dad, so I’ll take that, thank you, love.” Jacob just stuck his thumb up at Harry, his eyes still fixed on his magazine. In a way, Harry loved that Jacob didn't treat him any differently because of who he was, and he was very much a typical dad to his son. Harry was looking forward to taking Jacob on the road when he next went on tour, and he hoped by then, they might have a new member of the family too. They’d yet to hear from the clinic about the implantation, and every day that the phone didn't ring, Harry tried to stay positive, telling himself that no news was better than bad news. Louis hadn’t mentioned it, but Harry knew he was feeling the nerves just as much as he was.

There was a knock on the door, and Niall peered around, black round framed glasses on his face, blonde hair pushed up into a tall quiff. “Ten minutes until stage time, Haz, okay? Looking good, love that suit, good choice. Hi, Jake!” Niall waved to the little boy, who finally got up and ran at Niall, hugging around his waist.

“Hi, Uncle Niall! Are you going to watch the show with me?”

“Yep, gonna look after you when Dad goes on stage with your other dad to sing, that sound good?” Jacob nodded eagerly, pulling back from the hug to look up at Niall. “Cool, well I’ll be back before you go on Haz. See you in a bit, Louis!” Niall shut the door behind him and Jacob wandered over, ignoring his magazine now.

“You sure you don’t want to go out there and watch with Nanny Anne and Nanny Jay?” Louis asked, resting a palm on top of his son’s head, running his fingers through Jacob’s soft hair. “Up to you, though, love.”

“Nah, I like watching on the stage, it’s fun cos you can see all the people singing along with Daddy and crying for him.” Harry scoffed at Jacob’s words while Louis just laughed, knowing their son was completely right. “I want to sing too, and it’s better if I sing with Dad on the stage too, makes me feel like I’m up there with him too.”

Harry opened his arms and Jacob walked into them, probably creasing Harry’s white shirt beneath his jacket but he didn't care. “You being there is the best thing about being on stage. I love it when I can look to the wings and see you there with your ear defenders on singing away with a big smile. Honestly, I love it when you’re with us when we do things like this.” He hugged Jacob tight for a moment, the pair sharing a quiet moment between them. “I love you, Jake.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Harry caught Louis’ eye across the room and winked at him, enjoying a family moment before the craziness of being on stage. “Are we ready to go yet? I’m bored.” Harry glanced over to the clock on the wall, realising he still had to get his in-ears sorted so he nodded, taking Jacob’s hand in his own as they headed out of the dressing room together. They smiled at a few familiar faces as they navigated the corridors towards the stage area. Harry paused for one of the sound technicians to hook him up with his custom in-ears, watching as Louis had his hooked up too, and another crew member handed Jacob a pair of ear defenders, which the little boy hung around his neck for the time being.

Harry could hear the crowd singing along to the playlist he had running before his show, a mixture of his favourite songs, and a few of his older hits as well. Jacob was chatting to Niall again as Harry accepted a black microphone from someone else, nervously fiddling with his wedding ring as he waited to go on.

“Good luck. You’re going to smash it, you know. I can’t wait to hear you sing some of these songs.” Louis stepped into Harry’s space, his feet either side of Harry’s as they kissed for a few minutes, the world around them slipping away as they lost themselves in each other. Harry couldn’t deny how Louis’ kisses had a calming effect on him, and he could feel himself relaxing in Louis’ hold, comforted by his touch. “I love you, Haz. Go and make me proud, yeah?”

“Thought you were always proud?” Harry teased, bringing Louis’ left hand to his lips, kissing his wedding ring too for a moment. 

“I am, but there’s something about seeing you on stage singing that makes me more so,” Louis confessed, blushing slightly at his soppy declaration. “Go on, your fans await. Your biggest two will wait here for you.” Harry grinned and walked over to Jacob, giving his son a hug and a kiss, and then kissed Louis again before the lights in the small arena dimmed, the crowd going wild as they realised Harry was about to go out on stage and sing for them.

The band, Sarah, Adam, Clare and Mitch began playing the introduction to Hey Angel! and Louis couldn’t help tapping his foot as the stage lights went up, Harry beaming as he walked out, waving at the gathered crowds all screaming his name. Louis had his arm around Jacob’s shoulders now, and the pair danced away, singing loudly to the now familiar song, watching Harry dance his way around the stage too, adrenaline flooding his veins as he did what he loved best. As the song came to a close, there was no break as the band went straight into the introduction of Stockholm Syndrome, another one of the love songs he’d written for Louis in Italy. Louis particularly loved this one, loved the slightly darker connotations the lyrics held, and the crowd quickly picking up on the repetition in the chorus, shouting out the ‘oh’s loudly while Jacob loudly sang the verses to himself, ear defenders firmly in place now.

Harry finished up the song and grinned out at the audience, hands on his hips as he stood behind the microphone, looking at the sea of smiling faces in front of him. It felt incredible to finally be back out on the stage, although Harry had to admit it was a bit odd to not have the crowds sing the words back at him since the songs were new.

“You guys have no idea how good it feels to be back.” He laughed as everyone cheered at him, screaming his name and waving their homemade banners. Harry squinted as he tried to read as many as he could, loving how colourful they were, many adorned with the LGBTQ flag, colourful hearts and photos of himself, some including Louis and Jacob too. “I am really honoured that you’re all here tonight for me, and I hope you’re going to enjoy yourselves. Did you all like the first one?” They all screamed and nodded, and Harry chuckled into the microphone. “Good. Well, thank you to each of you for getting that one to number one a few weeks ago, you’re the best fans in the world, you really are.”

Harry looked over into the wings, where he saw Louis and Jacob stood watching him, pride on their features. He waved and Jacob jumped up and down in excitement, waving back at his father. “Okay, so I’m going to play you two new songs from the album, which I hope you’re all pre-ordered.” Louis laughed at that and Harry’s head swung back, catching his husband’s eye once more. “First up is a bit of a slower one, one that my amazing husband wrote while I was out in Italy writing for the new album. And after that, I’m singing a song I wrote for him, one that means a lot to the pair of us, called Infinity. So… here we go.”

The band started up and Harry closed his eyes, the slow beginning to the song filling the room. It had a slightly more sombre tone than the start of the other two, and the lights dimmed as Harry started to sing, a single spotlight on him now. Harry felt every emotion as he sang them, the power behind Louis’ words resonating deep inside him, taking him back to that dark place they’d found themselves in a few short months ago. His heart ached as he sang Louis’ words, knowing how much he’d poured into this song, his heart and soul, almost. As it came to a close, Harry let out a shaky breath, keeping his eyes closed for a moment. As he opened them, his gaze drifted to the wings where Louis was stood, Jacob in front of him, arms over the chest of their son. Louis looked tearful and Harry couldn’t stop himself jogging off stage and hugging him quickly, needing him to know that it was okay, that they’d come through it together.

After a moment, Louis broke away and pushed him back onto the stage, the opening bars of Infinity playing. This song immediately cheered Harry up, remembering how he’d sung the song softly down the phone to Louis as he’d slept, the words entirely inspired by his love for his husband and son. The crowd picked up on the chorus quite quickly and sang along with him, dancing when the song picked up for the final chorus, the house lights going up as Harry sang, his band backing him perfectly.

“That one was for Louis. My inspiration. Sorry if I’m being really emotional tonight, but, uh, this whole album has been inspired by my boys. Things aren’t always plain sailing in a marriage, but they’ve both been there by my side through everything. This album really  _ is _ for them, and about them. Actually, we’ve got a bit of a surprise in a short while which we really hope you’re going to like-” Harry cut off as he heard someone shout something out from the audience. “Am I pregnant? No, I wish!” The crowd went mental at his declaration, and Harry could see Louis laughing away in the wings, shaking his head at Harry’s openness.

He sang another few songs then, chatting to some audience members in between. His banter with everyone was as on point as ever, and Harry felt his nerves start to disappear. This felt right, to be back on stage again, doing what he does best. Performing was in his blood, and having his boys here watching him, his parents and friends in the audience somewhere too, inspired him to put on the best show he possibly could. 

“Alright, it’s time for that surprise.” He looked and grinned as Louis mumbled something into Jacob’s ear, Niall suddenly appearing at their side just in time. “I’d like to invite someone very special onto the stage with me.”

Screams rang out as Louis started walking onto the stage, microphone in hand, waving at the audience. Harry could see he was nervous, how tightly his hand was gripping the mic, his wedding ring shining under the harsh stage lights. They greeted each other with a quick kiss, and Harry popped out one of his in-ears so he could hear properly.

“You might know this one here from my Twitter feed, but in case you’ve been living under a rock, this is my husband Louis, the man who inspired much of my new album, Brave.” Louis laughed and looked down at his feet, slightly embarrassed at how soppy Harry was being. Harry just looped his arm around Louis’ waist, keeping him close. They smiled softly at each other as the crowd cheered for the pair of them. “Louis wrote a lot of the songs on this album with me. He’s got a way with words that just amazes me, and I am so proud to have so many of his songs on  _ Brave _ , and to be singing them to you tonight. You’ll probably know this first one. We first performed this together at the end of my tour last summer, and we couldn’t resist bringing it back for you all tonight. Please sing along with us. This is  _ Home _ .”

The band began playing and Harry watched with what could only be called awe in his eyes as Louis sang the first verse, Harry taking over for the bridge. They sounded perfect together as always, and watched the audience sing along with them, arms in the air, using the lights on their phones to light up the room around them. The song passed by too quickly for Harry’s liking, and as the band finished, he went to Louis. Instead of Louis turning to him as well, as they’d practised in rehearsal, Louis continued to repeat the chorus acapella, singing the words directly to him.

Harry bit back the tears in his eyes, knowing they meant so much more than it seemed on the surface. The audience had fallen silent, listening to every note that Louis sang beautifully, his raspy tone full of love and emotion. As he sang the last line, Harry surged forwards and pulled Louis against him, embracing him tightly, the room erupting around them. He could feel Louis’ heart beating erractically in his chest, and he knew how much courage it would have taken for him to do that.

“Oh my god, Louis..”

“You liked it? I hoped you would. Wanted to surprise you a bit.”

“I loved it. I love  _ you _ .” They kissed quickly, and Louis turned back to the audience, raising his microphone to his mouth which quietened the cacophony somewhat. Harry took a step to the side, giving Louis his own moment in the spotlight, exactly what he deserved.

“Hi. Wow, there’s a lot of you out there.” He chuckled slightly, raising his hand to his eyes, trying to shield them from the glare of the stage lights. “Okay, so I’m a bit nervous. I’ve only been up on stage with Harry once before, and I didn't really speak much. So thank you for making me feel so welcome.” Everyone cheered again, and Harry smiled, his arms folded across his torso, watching Louis become more confident with every sentence. “So we have another surprise. And this time it’s for someone very, very special to us.”

The place went quiet again as the audience members tried to work out who Louis was talking about. While he carried on explaining, Harry waved over to Jacob, who was still stood next to Niall, one ear sticking out of his defenders so he could hear his dad.

“... and once we started, the words just came naturally. It’s actually the song we’re most proud of writing. So this one is for the person who helped us to meet, without whom, we probably would never have seen each other, fallen in love and made a family together. This one is our beautiful son, Jacob, and it’s called Don’t Forget Where You Belong.”

Harry looked to see Jacob’s shocked expression as the opening bars of the song played and Harry started to softly sing the first verse.

__ “ Been a lot of places   
I've been all around the world   
Seen a lot of faces   
Never knowing where I was   
On the horizon   
Oh, well, I know, I know, I know   
I know the sun will be rising   
Back home

__ Living out of cases,   
Packing up and taking off   
Made a lot of changes   
But not forgetting who I was   
On the horizon   
Oh, well, I know, I know, I know,   
I know the moon will be rising   
Back home…”

They came together for the chorus, their voices weaving perfectly together, the band singing softly in the background, fleshing out the song slightly. Harry put his heart and soul into the performance.

_ “ _ _ Don't forget where you belong, home _ __  
_ Don't forget where you belong, home _ __  
_ If you ever feel alone, don't _ __  
_ You were never on your own _ _  
_ __ And the proof is in this song.”

The second verse went perfectly, and Harry’s skin covered in goosebumps as they approached the main bridge, his favourite part. Louis took a breath and belted out the lyrics, hitting the high notes perfectly, his voice strong and steady throughout.

_ “Lights off when they should be on _ __  
_ Even stars and skies above _ __  
_ Short days when the nights are long _ __  
_ When I think of the days I've gone _ __  
_ Don't matter how far I've gone _ _  
_ __ I'll always be around oh...”

As Louis finished powerfully belting out the final note, Harry’s eyes were caught by motion in the corner of his eye, and he swung his body around just in time to catch the little boy who was running across the stage at him, jumping into his arms. Harry just held him tightly, long arms around the little boys waist, easily supporting his weight.

Louis glanced to the side to see the embrace, and Harry encouraged him over, shifting Jacob to his side, bringing Louis into his other side. The band finished up the song while the Tomlinson’s hugged, Jacob quite emotional between them. Harry loved that their son was old enough to understand the lyrics of a song like that, that he and Louis had written it for him, because with them, Jacob would always have a home. Harry’s green eyes locked on Louis’ just across from him, and then he looked into Jacob’s blue ones, the same blue as his father.

“I love you, both of you, so much. I’m so glad you’re here with me tonight, by my side.”

“I love being here, Dad. That song was beautiful. Why did you not put it on the album I have at home?”

“We wanted to surprise you, love. We always planned for it to be this way, for us to sing it to you at this show. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, but…” Jacob wriggled down, Harry dropping him back to his feet on the floor. “Please put it on my iPod later, I need to learn the words before everyone else!”

*****

“Thank you so much, I hope you had as much fun as I did… the album is out in ten days, I can’t wait for you all to have it. Goodnight!” Louis watched as Harry waved as he walked off the stage, a huge smile across his face, sweat beading across his forehead. Harry grabbed Louis’ hand as he ran off stage, dragging him and their son backstage and into their dressing room. Louis slammed the door behind them and wrapped his arms around his husband, tugging him closer. 

“Fuck, you were amazing out there,” Louis mumbled against Harry’s neck, ignoring the sweat that was transferring onto his own lips. “Hearing those songs live… it’s the best thing, I swear.” He pulled back and pecked Harry’s lips, keeping it chaste as their son was in the room with them, watching their every move. “Did you enjoy watching Dad on stage, love?”

“You were amazing, Dad. I think the people really liked the songs, some of the girls were crying. Why do girls cry like that? It’s weird.”

“Not just girls who cry, love. Anyone can cry when they’re really happy, you’ve seen me cry often enough,” Harry laughed, walking over to ruffle his son’s hair as the door handle shook and then flew open, their friends and family pouring into the room to pass their congratulations onto Harry for the success of the show. Louis accepted hugs as readily as Harry did but Jacob had sloped off, sat on the sofa with Louis’ iPhone, playing yet another game on the device while his parents chatted with the adults.

Louis cleared the room so Harry could get changed out of his stage clothes, knowing he liked to get back into his comfy clothes as soon as possible. He told them where they were all meeting for the celebratory dinner they were going on, and everyone headed off, Jacob choosing to go with Jay and Dan to the restaurant, thinking the dressing room wasn’t as much fun now the show was over. 

Louis sidled over to his husband and looped his arms up and around Harry’s bare shoulders, his husband in the midst of getting changed. “Really proud of you, you know. Does something to me, watching you on stage.” He pushed his hips forward, trying to get Harry in a state to be ready to do something.

“Uh uh. Not now. We have a dinner to get to, and to be honest, love, I’m pretty hungry. Can you save it for when we get home? Maybe we can get someone to take Jake tonight, so we can have a bit of fun?”

“Bloody bore,” Louis chastised, stepping away and hanging up the suit jacket Harry had left in a puddle on the floor. “You ever gonna wear this again?”

“Probably not. The designers don’t usually like it if I wear a show outfit twice. I’ll keep it, though. Have you got everything?” Louis looked around the room, making sure there were no things left there before he nodded, hoisting Harry’s bag up onto his shoulder, taking Harry’s hand with his other arm. They headed out of the room and into the car park, Harry getting behind the wheel.

They pulled up at the restaurant twenty minutes later, making sure they hadn’t been followed before they piled out of the car, dashing into the building. They were taken through to the private room at the back of the restaurant, greeted by cheers as they arrived. Harry hugged his Mum and his sister before taking the empty seat next to Jacob, Louis on his other side. He kissed his son on the cheek, a big smile on Jacob’s face when he realised he’d got the prime spot next to Harry, and then reached over, touching Louis’ arm.

They all picked up their menus and made their choices, delivering them to the waiter and waitress who were jotting them down, one at each end of the large table. Harry had already told the gathered family members he was covering the bill, and that everyone was to have exactly what they wanted, no expenses spared. They chatted amongst themselves about the show, everyone impressed by the range of music on Harry’s new album. They’d all heard a few tracks, but Harry had managed to keep most of them under wraps from everyone else, keen for them to experience them live as they had done tonight. It felt special to reveal the album in the way he had, and he knew it was an experience he wouldn’t forget.

As they finished up their main meals and the plates were cleared, Harry reached and pulled Jacob into his lap, sensing the boy was flagging after a very long and tiring day. Jacob turned and snuggled against Harry’s side, his little eyes fluttering shut as he made himself comfortable, barely shaking his head when Harry muttered to him about wanting a pudding. Louis looked with concern at his little boy, and pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes, frowning slightly.

“He’s just tired, Lou, don’t worry,” Harry soothed, sensing Louis was a little worried about their son. “It’s been a long day… if we’re feeling worn out, imagine how he must be feeling.”

“I know we said about someone else taking him for the night, but to be honest, I’d rather take him home, keep an eye on him. Not like him to get so quiet so quickly.” Harry nodded, thanking the waitress with a smile as she set down his small bowl of sorbet down in front of him. Louis scoffed, thinking sorbet was a pretty pretentious desert and instead turned to his own sticky toffee pudding, something he felt worthy of the title of desert. It didn't take long for everyone to demolish their deserts, leaving bunched up napkins on plates and forks on plates, spoons in empty dishes. 

Louis stood up and went to take care of the bill, not wanting to jostle Jacob any more than was necessary. He didn't wince at the huge total, instead, he just handed his credit card over and popped his pin number in, leaving a tip for the kind staff members who had taken such good care of them all that night, working hard to make sure all the meals were dealt out in time, and then cleared away efficiently when they were all done.

“You need a hand?” he asked, as everyone stood up from the table, pulling on coats and jackets, the evening cooler by now. Harry shook his head and held a now sleeping Jacob against his chest, making sure he wasn’t going to slump away. Louis made his way around the table, thanking everyone with a hug and a kiss as everyone started to leave, heading for home, with promises to meet all again soon.

*****

“No, darling, we’re home now. You’re in bed.” Harry laid Jacob down on his bed and wriggled his jeans down, throwing them onto the floor. Jacob yawned and stretched his limbs, snuggling back down onto his side. “Alright, I’ll let you sleep. Goodnight, love.” Harry pressed a kiss to Jacob’s cheek and walked out of his son’s room, pulling the door to behind him. “Lou, go and kiss Jake, he’s fallen asleep again.” 

Louis nodded and Harry watched as he left the room, padding down the corridor in his socks to go and kiss their son goodnight. He hadn’t bothered changing Jacob into his pyjamas because now he was bigger, he was heavier and harder to move around when he was dead to the world, and Harry had learnt to pick his battles. Harry pulled his own t-shirt off over his head and placed it into the linen bin in the corner of the room before he yanked off his joggers, folding them and placing them in his drawer.

He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth and emerged just as Louis came back into the room, closing the door with a quiet click behind him. He smiled at Harry as he climbed onto the bed in just his boxers, his phone in his hand. Harry scrolled through his Twitter account, smiling at the wonderful tweets his fans had left him, lots of comments about his new songs littering his news feed. A few had posted some nice pictures of him and Louis, and Harry saved one, ready to post it himself. It was still a complete novelty to share the stage with his husband, and Harry was keen to make a fuss of it every time it happened.

“What are you reading?” Louis called as he popped his head out of the bathroom, a face wipe in his hand as he looked at Harry. “Reading about how wonderful you were tonight on social media? Such a narcissist…”

“Oh, fuck off,” Harry called, poking his tongue out at Louis who just laughed and disappeared back into the bathroom. “Nah, well, I guess, but I just wanted to get some of the reactions of the fans, see which songs they liked.”

“And what’s the verdict?” Louis stepped back in and stripped down to his own boxers, collapsing on the bed next to Harry before he leaned over, grabbing his charger wire and pushing it into the bottom of his own dead iPhone. “What’s the fan favourite?”

“I think they liked  _ Infinity _ , but there’s a lot of love for  _ Don’t Forget Where You Belong _ . I think people liked watching us together on the stage, people have posted some really nice pictures of us, Lou.” He tilted his phone so Louis could see, the other man scrolling down the screen for a few seconds, smiling at the plethora of photos on Harry’s timeline.

“Ah, we look good. I’m just so proud of you, Haz. I didn't realise how much I’d missing seeing you on stage until tonight. I mean, I love hearing you sing in the studio but it’s totally different watching you in front of an audience. You come alive, somehow. I really think this is your best album to date, love.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Harry turned his phone off and laid back down on the cool sheet, smiling at his husband. “I have to admit, it was good being back out there. I love writing and being at home, but there’s nothing gives me a buzz like being in front of a live crowd, feeling their feedback, watching them enjoy themselves.”

“Nothing, hmm?” Louis asked, leaning down on his elbow, cocking an eyebrow at his husband. Louis reached out and started to walk his fingers across Harry’s bare chest, grazing past his nipples, making Harry gasp quietly under his breath. “So, there’s nothing I can do that will give you a buzz, hmm?”

“Well, I didn't mean- oh god…” Louis lifted his leg and pressed his knee against Harry’s crotch firmly enough to make his cock start to stir in the confines of his boxers. “Louis… shit-”

“Ah, think I might have found something that gives you that buzz, haven’t I?” Harry nodded and Louis leaned in, kissing Harry’s lips softly, teasing him as he was aware Harry wanted more. “You best remember nothing can make you feel as good as I can, not even being on stage. Am I right?”

“God, yes… always yes, Lou. Make me feel so good, all the time.” Harry reached down and clamped Louis’ leg down again, enjoying the friction against his burgeoning erection, well aware of Louis’ bodily response to their proximity and what they were doing as well. 

“What do you want, baby?” Louis asked, pinching one of Harry’s nipples between his thumb and forefinger, enough to make Harry’s pupils dilate and his cheeks redden, overloaded with sensations. “Tell me, you deserve whatever you want after tonight.”

“Just want you. Want you inside me.”

Louis nodded and slid his own boxers off, quickly following with Harry’s, leaving them naked on the bed. He was glad Jacob had been exhausted enough to sleep through the journey home, and that he was safely in bed now. Even so, Louis wanted to make sure they were quiet as too often Jacob had heard things that he shouldn’t, luckily still too young to fully understand the noises emanating from his parents bedroom. 

“I can do that, I’d love to do that. Want me to fuck you?”

Harry shook his head, and Louis paused, wondering why Harry was shaking his head when he thought that was what he had asked for. “No?”

“No. Want you to make love to me. Show me how much you love me, how proud you are.” Louis felt like his heart skipped a beat at Harry’s words, how his big green eyes were looking up at him with such trust and love. He just nodded and dipped his head, meeting Harry’s lips with his own, kissing him softly before turning it into a deep kiss, tongues tangling inside their mouths, moaning with pleasure as they became more turned on by each other and the thought of being intimate again.

Lately, sex between them had been needy and frantic, particularly since Harry’s last donation at the clinic, neither of them able to shift the memory of the video Louis had made of himself. This, a slower, more intimate turn was exactly what they needed. Louis opened Harry up with the fingers of his right hand, pressing two, then three fingers inside his husband, kissing him to keep his noises inside, keen not to wake their sleeping child down the hallway. Harry was known for being loud when he was turned on, and judging by the way he kept touching himself, Harry was more than ready for more from Louis.

“Please, Louis, I-” Harry begged, grabbing at Louis’ bicep with his hand, licking his lips as he stared down at Louis, still moving his fingers inside Harry’s body. Louis watched Harry’s eyes darken when he pressed against the special spot inside him, relentlessly rubbing his fingers in small circles. “Stop, please- I don’t wanna come like this-”

Louis stopped, removing his fingers slowly, not wanting to hurt Harry at all. He lubed up his length and lined up, pleased that Harry had chosen to remain on his back. He pressed his hips forward slowly, knowing that if he rammed inside, he’d come too soon and this would be over. He wanted this to be good for Harry, a much-needed release from the high of tonight, and as he buried himself inside Harry’s body, he stilled, taking a breath, making sure Harry was okay.

“Please move,” Harry whimpered, his hands coming up to rest on Louis’ shoulders as he leaned over, kissing Harry softly. Louis nodded and started to rock his hips back and forth, the warmth and tightness of Harry’s entrance around him already so much. There were no words exchanged between them as Louis moved slowly, balanced on one forearm, the other hand cupping Harry’s cheek as their sweaty bodies rocked together. There was something wonderful about how the room was filled with their deep breaths, the soft sound of skin slapping on skin as Louis moved inside Harry, and whispered words of love and devotion. 

It always felt special when they had sex with each other, but Louis felt it had been a while since they’d been like this together. The way Harry was so open for him tonight, letting Louis love him, show him how much he wanted him… there was something reverent about it. Louis closed his eyes for a moment as he withdrew his hips, pushing in carefully again. “You close, sweetheart?”

Harry just nodded, his damp curls laying flat on the pillow around his head. Louis reached out and took Harry’s hand in his own, squeezing it softly, leaning down to kiss the ink all over his husband’s skin. “Never tell you enough how much I love these. They look so beautiful on you, darling. I mean, you always look beautiful but they’re just… god, they’re so sexy, Haz. I love you so much, love that you’re mine.”

Harry blinked up at Louis and they kissed as Louis picked up his rhythm, ready to make them both come by now. He was feeling a little sensitive and he reached down, hitching up one of Harry’s thighs over his hip, changing the angle of his cock slightly. Harry moaned lowly and kissed Louis again as their bodies rocked together, both sweating but full of desire for each other. Louis reached down and encircled Harry’s cock with his hand, stroking slowly and in rhythm with his thrusts, determined to tip his husband over the edge along with himself. 

“I love you, Lou,” Harry breathed out, voice husky, eyes locked on Louis’. They kissed softly as Louis moved them closer to orgasm and came with a few low moans passed between them, Louis pushing his release deep inside Harry’s body, trying to keep his eyes open and on Harry. Harry released over his own tummy and Louis’ hand, the come pooling on his belly, an outward show of how good Louis had made him feel.

Slowly, Louis pulled out, admiring for a second how beautiful Harry looked laid out on the bed, legs apart, cheeks red from exertion. They shared a soft smile before Louis got up and crept into the bathroom, returning with a damp flannel to clean them both up before returning it to the sink to deal with in the morning. He clambered back onto the bed and collapsed down next to Harry’s body, curling up against his side as Harry reached down, pulling the sheet up and over them. Harry kissed the side of Louis’ temple for a moment before he laced their fingers together under the covers.

“Thank you for being by my side tonight. I love when you’re there, cheering me on.” Louis smiled up at Harry, rubbing their noses together for a moment. “I think this album is gonna be great Lou, and even if people don’t like it, I’m so proud of it because it represents us.”

“It does.” Louis yawned widely, making Harry laugh softly. “Sorry, long day.”

“S’ok. I’m tired too. Sleep?” Louis just nodded and pulled back as Harry rolled onto his side, back to Louis now. Louis resumed his usual position, an arm slung over Harry’s waist, torso pressed against his back. He loved that Harry was the little spoon despite his bigger physical stature, and Louis felt as if he were protecting Harry, even in sleep. “Goodnight, darling.”

“Night Haz. Sweet dreams.”

“Always do with you.” Louis smiled to himself as his mind shut off, drifting into a deep sleep that both of them really needed.

*****

**Two days later**

“Honey, we’re home!” Louis hollered out as he walked in through the front door behind Jacob, who just dumped his bag on the floor next to his kicked off school shoes. Harry grinned at the sound of his boys returning home and walked out into the hallway, greeting Louis with a quick kiss. “Hey, love.”

“Hey, beautiful. Had a good day?”

“Yeah, not bad. Bit rough, one of the kids got a bit of a concussion in a PE after a tumble from the wall bars, but I think they’ll be okay. Hate seeing them get hurt.”

“Aww, poor little thing. Lucky they had you to look after them, hmm?” Louis grinned and Harry crouched down, neatening up Jacob’s shoes and school bag, rifling through to make sure there were no letters that he or Louis needed to fill in. He pulled out his reading book and followed Louis into the sitting room, popping the book on the side to read through with Jacob later. His teachers had been really thrilled with his improvement with his reading, the special books with tinted paper making the whole thing far easier for Jacob. 

He’d tried using an overlay but it hadn’t been much good, but the new scheme of books the school had bought into were making a massive difference for Jacob, and he’d begun to really love reading again, which thrilled Harry no end. He and Louis chatted as Harry made them both a cup of tea, and Jacob a glass of milk, the little boy soon running into the kitchen in his comfier clothes, uniform no doubt in a mess on the bed as it usually was.

“Dad, the school is having a cake sale next week, will you be able to help me make some cakes to take in?” Harry looked up and smiled at Jacob, nodding at the idea.

“Sure, I’d love to,” he replied, frowning when he saw Louis’ expression.

“And why didn't you ask me?” Louis asked, hands on his hips as he stared at his son. “I could help you.”

“But Dad’s cakes are actually really nice?” Jacob answered, making Harry choke on his mouthful of tea. “You usually buy yours from Tesco but I thought it might be cool to make something proper to take in? You can help me and Dad if you want to, maybe you could do the icing?”

“Oh, cheers,” Louis scoffed, taking a gulp of his tea. “I’ll leave it to you and Jamie Oliver then, if that’s what you want.”

“Don’t be sad, Loubear,” Harry grinned across the table, reaching to take Louis’ hand. Jacob swallowed the last of his milk and dashed off, Percy hot on his heels, hoping to play with the little boy. Harry’s phone started to ring as Louis left the room behind the pair, making sure they weren’t causing any havoc. It was a withheld number but Harry picked it up, speaking softly into the receiver.

“Harry Tomlinson speaking. Oh yes, hi.” He paused as he nodded at the words on the other end of the phone. Louis wandered back in as Harry waited on hold for a moment, watching as Louis opened the fridge, pondering what to have for dinner.

“Not to worry, thanks for calling. Right.” He nodded and listened to the person speaking into his ear. “Oh. Uh, okay, I see.” Louis spun around at that, and stepped over, noticing Harry’s expression and how it was changing. “Thanks for letting us know. Yes, that sounds fine.” Harry nodded again and refused to meet Louis’ eye, even though he knew it would be making him worry. “Okay, thanks very much. Bye.”

Harry exhaled and set the phone back down on the kitchen table, closing his eyes so Louis wouldn’t see the tears burning in them. He swallowed heavily, willing the lump in his throat to go away, so that he could speak with a normal voice but somehow, he knew his body was going to betray him the moment he looked at his husband.

“Love?” Louis came over and rested a hand on Harry’s shoulder, the taller man still bent over at the table, palms on the wooden surface. “Harry, what was that about? Who was it?”

“The clinic.” Harry stood up, and he blinked as he looked directly at Louis, a tear tumbling down his cheek. He didn't bother to wipe it away, knowing more were about to swiftly follow. “Louis, I-”

Louis stood and folded his arms across his chest, as if protecting himself from whatever Harry was about to say. “And?” Harry knew his voice sounded harsh but that it was Louis’ way of coping, of putting on a brave front.

“The, uh, the first round? The implantation?” Louis nodded, and Harry could feel his bottom lip wobbling as he readied himself to deliver the news. “It didn't work, Lou. Shannon- she’s, she’s not pregnant. Shit, we- we’re not getting a baby.” He slumped down into the chair next to him and stared blankly at the wall, trying to work out how to feel. It was the last thing he'd expected to hear, if he was honest, he'd talked himself into it being a success that he really hadn't contemplated the procedure not being a success.

Louis came and sat next to him, resting a hand on Harry's back.

"Oh, love..." Louis didn't say anything more, and Harry had an idea that Louis didn't really know what else there was to stay. Harry just nodded ever so slightly, knowing his husband would pick up on the gesture. "Come here."

Harry allowed his body to turn into Louis', arms pulling him closer to Louis' body, exactly where he needed to be. It was when he felt a tear drip from Louis' chin onto his own cheek that Harry finally allowed his own tears to fall, crying for something they'd lost but had never really had,a fact that hurt more than any other. 


	73. Miss You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis deal with their devastation before Harry has to go away on promo, leaving Louis and Jacob to spend some much-needed time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one, it was fun to write, and it just flowed! Makes a change for it to come so quickly lol.
> 
> Thanks so much for the support as always. Love reading all your comments so much! More very soon :) xx

“Ready?”

Harry nodded and headed down the hallway, taking Louis’ hand as they walked towards the familiar room together. It felt like it had been a while since they’d been to a counselling session, and had left their last one fairly open-ended, promising to rebook when they needed it. After the devastating news a week ago that their first attempt at IVF hadn’t worked, things had been very quiet between the pair. They’d spent several nights in each other’s arms, crying themselves to sleep but had then had a phone consultation with Dr Waters promising that Shannon was ready to try again the following month. Harry had used that news to bolster himself, and was trying to remain positive.

Louis reached out and knocked on the door, entering when he heard a voice from within calling out, asking them to come inside. They walked inside hand in hand, and smiled at Dr Chandler, who greeted each man with a short hug. They had only seen her once since their Italy trip, but now they were back here, it was like they’d never left.

“Hello, Harry and Louis. Lovely to see you both again, please take a seat.”

Harry smiled and did as she asked, pulling Louis’ chair a little closer before they sat down, visibly relaxing in the familiar atmosphere. Dr Chandler took her notebook and sat down opposite them, legs crossed and she jotted something down with her pen before she put the book down, smiling across at both men, her glasses nestled in her hair atop her head.

“So, how have you been? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, so I hope things have been good for you both?”

“Yes, not too bad, actually,” Louis started, squeezing Harry’s hand gently. “Personally, we’ve been really good. Harry and I have been really close lately, and… yeah, our marriage is good. Really good, actually. Harry’s new album comes out next week as well, and he’s heading off tomorrow for a few days travelling around the country to do some press for it. Jacob and I are staying at home, though, we don’t want to keep giving him unnecessary time off school, and Harry’s hoping to only be gone for three or four days.”

“It’s not something I want to do, but it’s part and parcel of the job,” Harry interjected, keen to make sure Katie knew the last thing he wanted was to leave his boys. “But Jake’s already made me promise to Facetime every night before bed, so I’m not sure I’ll have much chance to miss him.” He glanced over to Louis and they shared a small smile for a moment.

“We all have commitments with our jobs, Harry, and it seems like Louis very much understands yours. It isn’t like your career is a new development, you got married knowing the restrictions it would place on you and your marriage, and I know you can both work through this. Have you any concerns about the trip?”

“Not at all.” Louis shook his head, knowing he really didn’t. He could manage a few days without his husband, and to be honest, he was looking forward to a few days alone with Jacob. He’d made some plans without telling his son, and he was excited to do a few fun thing with the little boy to distract him from missing his dad too much.

“Okay, well that’s good. Harry, I assume you feel the same?” Harry nodded, and Katie smiled, noting down a couple of things. “Last time we spoke, you told me that you’d agreed to have a baby. Is that something you’ve progressed with?" 

Louis looked across to Harry and nodded gently, telling him it was okay for him to voice this bit. Harry had been keen to finally express aloud what he was feeling about everything, and he knew dealing with the news they had received the other day would be easier once he spoke his worries out loud to someone else.

“Well, we’ve found a surrogate. Her name is Shannon, and she’s lovely. We actually have started the IVF procedure with her, they created an embryo and implanted it. But, uh, last week we had a call to tell us the first attempt hadn’t been successful.” Harry swallowed down the lump in his throat, his eyes dropping to his lap. He felt Louis shuffle closer, resting a calming hand on his thigh.

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Can I ask how you both have dealt with the news? Have you spoken with each other about it?”

“Yeah. I’ve made a real effort to tell Louis how I felt about it all. It’s been really hard.”

“That’s entirely understandable. Louis, how have you felt about the news?" 

“I was devastated. I don’t know if it’s naive but I never even considered the possibility that Shannon wouldn’t be pregnant. Everything else had gone so well that I ridiculously assumed this would too, that it would go well on the first attempt. Stupid, huh?”

“No, Louis, not stupid. Having hope is a wonderful thing, and a positive attitude can go a long way. I think you were right to not consider the negative outcomes, but it’s a hugely positive step you’ve taken in coming here and talking through your feelings rather than letting them fester and eat you up inside.”

Harry nodded, knowing that for Louis, agreeing to come here was a big step, and he was proud of his husband for doing so.

“I’m really proud of Louis for making this appointment. He still finds talking quite tricky at times, but we’ve both been open with our feelings since the news.”

“And are you wanting to try again?”

“Without a doubt,” Louis confirmed. “This isn’t going to stop us. We’re in a privileged position where we don’t have to worry about the financial side of it, and as long as Shannon is willing to try, so are we.”

“We’re trying to keep ourselves looking forward, not getting bogged down with it. Sometimes it can take months for couple to fall pregnant, and this is no different. I’m sure this will happen for us, when it’s our time.” Katie smiled softly at the pair, loving how positive they were, and how encouraging they were towards each other. It was a huge change from the broken Harry and Louis she had seen months ago, on the verge of almost walking away from their marriage. Now, they’d seen the importance of communication, of being honest with each other, and they were most certainly one of her success stories.

“And Jacob? Is he aware of the process or have you chosen to keep him out of it?”

Harry launched into an explanation of why they’d chosen to tell Jacob, but divulged that they hadn’t told Jacob about the failure of the first attempt. Katie agreed this was best, that Jacob didn’t need to be privy to every detail, and they listened as she gave some advice about how to discuss it if the little boy was to ask any questions, which they were sure he would do eventually. He’d always been a curious young man, and they’d always tried to be as open and honest with him as they can, in an age appropriate way of course.

“Well, gentlemen, I think it’s wonderful you chose to come here today, to talk about your feelings and work through your fears and hopes. Did you want to make another appointment, or were you happy to leave it open, to get in contact if you feel you need us again?”

“I think I’d actually like to make an appointment for next month, just to keep us on track. We should have heard either way about the second attempt by then, so it might be good to have this waiting, in case we are feeling we need to talk about it, whichever way it goes.”

“That sounds fine, Harry, a good decision for the pair of you. If you feel Jacob needs to talk to someone about this as well, please do feel free to make him an appointment at any time. I know we have a review coming up for him in the next few weeks, so perhaps it might be a good point to have him back in, and discuss the recent changes in your family?”

“Okay, that sounds fine. Thank you, Dr Chandler.” She smiled and got to her feet, tucking the pen down the middle of her notebook and setting it down on her desk behind her. “It’s been a pleasure seeing you both as always, and I wish you all the luck in the world for the next IVF attempt. I’ll see you next month.”

Harry reached out and shook her hand, Louis following, and then they stood at the desk together as they made their appointment for the following month for a Saturday afternoon, and then headed back out to the car park. Louis was behind the wheel, and Harry reached back, pulling his seat belt across his torso and clicking it into place.

“You feel better for seeing Katie?”

Louis nodded as he drove, heading in the direction of Anne’s house where Jacob was currently entertaining her and Robin. They’d been honest with their son and told him where they were going, not seeing a need to hide Katie from him given the little boy knew her well. They hadn’t told anyone else about the failure of the first attempt at IVF and had decided to keep it to themselves. They were determined to keep positive, and as much as their parents would be sympathetic towards them, they felt that they wanted to move past it, to look to the future and the good things that were bound to come their way.

“I meant what I said, Lou. I really am proud of you. Months ago, I never dreamed you’d want to go to counselling with me, to talk about your feelings. Now you’re the one telling me you want to see her. You’ve come so far, and you continue to amaze me, darling.”

Louis blushed and Harry just stroked his thigh, getting that Louis was keeping quiet for a reason, probably to keep himself together for when they saw their son.

“It’s gonna happen, you know,” he said quietly, as he turned into the road where his mother-in-law lived. “We’re gonna get a baby, Haz, whether it takes us a couple of months or a couple of years. It’s going to happen. We will have another child together, I will make you a dad.”

“I’m already a dad, Lou. But I want it to happen, too. Let’s hope we’ll be lucky next time, huh?” Louis nodded and parked the car, leaning across to kiss Harry, a hand cupping his cheek, the car full of emotion now. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Let’s go get our boy and get you home and packed.”

Harry nodded and hopped out of the car, chasing Louis up the driveway, trying to make him smile. Harry caged him in against the front door and kissed him harshly before he rang the bell, hearing familiar footsteps thudding down the corridor behind the closed door.

“Dads! You’re home!” To Harry, those were the words that meant everything to him, words that no-one could ever take away from him and Louis, whether or not the IVF worked for them. They were parents to Jacob, and nothing would ever change that.

*

Jacob sniffed as he curled himself into a smaller ball in Louis’ lap, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. Harry had left ten minutes ago, and Jacob was finally calming down. He’d known for a while Harry was going away for a few days, as they were always open with him about his dad’s work, but that never made saying goodbye any easier.

He’d sobbed as Harry had climbed into the car Niall had arranged for him, and Louis had ended up struggling to pick him up and comfort him, waving Harry off and biting back the sting of his own tears. They’d been cuddling on the sofa together ever since, and even Percy had come sniffing around, always worried when Jacob was upset or distressed. He’d grunted and curled up next to Louis, his big head near Jacob’s feet, protecting him in his own way.

“He’ll be home soon, love,” Louis soothed, running a hand through Jacob’s hair. “I know you miss him, but he has to do this for work. He says he’ll call tonight anyway.”

“S’not the same,” Jacob mumbled into Louis’ shoulder, still cuddled up to his dad. Although Louis hated his son being so upset, he couldn’t he loved it when Jacob was all cuddly with him like this. The older he got, the less the boy wanted cuddles which was a sad fact of children growing up. “I want him to come home.”

“He’ll be home on Wednesday, you know that, Jake.” Jacob nodded but didn’t move from his position. “Anyway, I’ve planned a little something to cheer you up today, for this afternoon.”

“Really? What is it?”

“Wait and see.” Jacob huffed and puffed and sat up straight, nearly dislodging Percy from his spot on the sofa. “We’re going out later, just after lunch. Did you want to watch a film or something this morning? Play in the garden, maybe?”

“Can we kick around a football for a bit?”

Louis grinned, realising it felt like it had been too long since he’d done something so simple with his son. He nodded and they quickly got ready, the weather warm enough to venture outside in their joggers and t-shirts, their dog happily running around amongst their feet trying to join in as Jacob and Louis booted the ball around their spacious garden. Louis filmed a few videos of Jacob trying to curl the ball into the goal (failing miserably, but he didn’t give up), and sent them off to Harry, knowing it would cheer his husband up too. He’d had a stream of miserable sounding texts since Harry had left, and he hated the thought of him all alone, and unable to cheer himself up.

A short while later, panting and out of breath, Jacob and Louis were laid on the grass, Percy curled up in a shady spot on the patio. They were looking up at the sky, which had a few clouds floating around, but it was predominantly blue. There was a sense of peace about it, and Jacob reached out, taking his dad’s hand gently, keeping the silence for a few more moments.

“Do you remember when we used to play footie in our little garden at our old house?” Jacob’s question broke the peace and quiet, and Louis looked across, wondering where Jacob was going with this. “I liked that house. But I think I like this one more. It’s like a real family house, like you see on the movies and stuff. It feels weird now when Dad isn’t here, because this house is just too big for two of us.”

“Three, don’t forget Percy.”

“He’s not human, Dad,” Jacob replied, rolling his little blue eyes. “But I had a dream the other night.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jacob sighed and shuffled over, cuddling up to Louis. “You and Dad had a baby, and then we were four people instead of three. And I was really happy because you let me help with my brother but not the pooey nappies ‘cos that’s gross.” Louis chuckled, nodding along, knowing Jacob was right. “And I woked up-“

“Woke up,” Louis corrected carefully.

“-I woke up with a big smile on my face. It made me happy because you and Dad were happy, and the baby looked like Dad with green eyes and big fat curls on his head like Dad’s. I just... I hope you get a baby because you’re really cool Dad’s, and I think a baby would be really lucky to be in our Tomlinson family.”

Louis could feel himself welling up at Jacob’s heartfelt declaration and he pulled his son closer, hugging him tightly until Jacob struggled to get away, moaning at Louis squeezing him too hard. “That’s a lovely thing to say, sweetheart. Dad and I really hope we can have a baby too, but it’s not up to us. We just have to cross our fingers and our toes-“

“And our eyes!”

“Maybe even our eyes, yep. We just have to cross everything we have and hope it works for us.”

“It will. Dad always says nice things happen to nice people, and you and Dad are the nicest people I know. Love you. Come on, let’s go and play.”

Louis shook his head, wondering how Jacob was able to go from such a soppy state of mind to wanting to go and play again. He was already racing over to the climbing frame installed near the bottom of the garden, keen to try out the monkey bars again since he’d recently mastered being able to get himself from one side to the other without dropping down to the floor. Louis walked over, checking over his shoulder to make sure the dog was still asleep, which he was, and ran over to chase Jacob again, their laughing filling the garden as they ran around in the brilliant morning sunshine.

A few hours later, the doorbell went and Louis peered out through the living room window, pleased to see the gathered men on the doorstep. He called for Jacob to answer the door, and the resounding squeal of excitement not only roused Percy but also told Louis he was pleased about the people on the other side of the door.

“Uncle Zaynie! Uncle Li! Why are you here?”

Louis could hear low talking as the two men kicked off their shoes, following Jacob through where they grinned at Louis, who was still lazing on the sofa.

“-thought we’d take you somewhere fun since Dad’s gone off for work. You fancy a boy’s day out with me, Li and your dad?”

Jacob nodded in excitement and ran back upstairs, returning a few moments later in what he deemed to be a going out outfit, and his new Vans on his feet. His feet seemed to constantly be growing at the moment, and they’d purchased the third pair of school shoes that year, Harry unable to stop himself from buying his son another pair of Vans that matched Louis’ as well. He claimed there was something cute about the father and son duo in matching clothes that Louis couldn’t help but agree with.

“Where are we going?” Jacob asked as he clicked his seat belt into place, frowning across to Zayn who was sat next to him in the backseat, Liam riding shotgun next to Louis.

“God, you’re so impatient, just like your dad,” Zayn quipped, rolling his eyes.

“Which dad?” Jacob’s little brow furrowed, and all three men laughed, knowing he was entirely right.

“Both!” Liam joked, knowing Harry well enough to make that judgment. The phone rang loudly in the car, and Louis answered it, promising his mum who was on the line that yes, he and Jacob were coming over for Sunday dinner tomorrow. The journey took about forty minutes, and when they pulled up in the car park, Jacob’s eyes widened when he realised where they were.

“No way! Laser Quest?!” They all nodded, and Liam and Zayn grabbed his hands as they headed across the car park, Louis tapping out a text to his husband to let him know what they were up to. He knew Harry would just be pleased that Jacob was being entertained and he wasn’t missing him too much. Harry’s reply didn’t take too long to come through, telling Louis he’d reached the first hotel and was all checked in, ready for his first round of interviews with music magazine journalists.

Louis paid for them to have two private games, meaning it would be just the four of them inside the specially adapted room. They all headed into the changing rooms, pulling on the special vests that would allow them to play, and then sat watching the health and safety video together. Jacob was perched on Zayn’s leg as they watched, taking it very seriously while Louis sat talking to Liam quietly just along the bench. When the video was done, they went through and picked up the special Laser guns they were playing with, and decided it would be Zayn and Jacob versus Liam and Louis. Louis wasn’t bothered about his son choosing to not be on his team, and he vowed to beat him. He asked a member of staff to snap a photo of the four of them, and sent it to Harry, Anne and Jay, knowing they’d all love the photo.

“Jacob?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“I’m not gonna go easy on you because you’re my son, you know that, right?”

“And I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“JACOB TOMLINSON!”

“What?! Zayn said it first!”

“ZAYN MALIK!” Zayn had the courtesy to blush at Louis’ chastisement of him.

“Sorry Lou...”

“Right. The fight is on! Team LiLo for the win!”

*

“Dad, will you please stop sulking? Daddy says you should be a good loser, look.” Jacob shoved the tablet under Louis’ nose, where he’d been messaging Harry. Louis read through the amusing exchange, trying to bite back a smile when he read Jacob’s gloating messages, telling Harry that Louis was being a sore loser, and had nearly had a tantrum in the middle of the Laser Quest building. Harry had sent several laughing emojis in reply, and Louis knew full well Harry believed he’d been a bad loser.

“Well, bully for Dad. You and Zaynie cheated.”

“No, we didn’t!” Zayn hollered from the kitchen where he and Liam were collecting some plates and glasses for the takeaway they’d ordered to be delivered shortly. Louis had decided he couldn’t be bothered to cook, and when they’d all tumbled in the door an hour ago, he’d sent Jacob upstairs for a shower and went online to order them all some pizzas. “Stop being a bad loser, Lou!”

The doorbell rang and Louis got up, heading to answer the door. He grabbed Percy’s collar as the dog made an excited run for it too, and quickly shut him in the living room while he collected the pizzas, thanking the delivery man as he took the boxes from him. He wandered through to the kitchen, and set them down on the table, and everyone grabbed a few slices, loading up their plates. Louis filled up their glasses with coke and they all headed through to the living room, where they sat on the floor, chatting as they ate.

When they were done, Louis’ phone started to ring with an incoming FaceTime call and Harry’s contact photo lit up the screen.

“It’s Dad! Can we please talk to him?” Jacob begged, and Louis nodded, answering the call as the four men shuffled closer, making sure they could all be seen by the camera. The phone connected and Harry’s smiley face filled the screen again, laughing when he saw them all jostling for position. Jacob had clambered into Liam’s lap, Zayn’s arm was flung around Louis’ shoulders, and they all looked very happy.

“Hey! You’re all there!”

“But we miss you!” Jacob shouted, making Harry smile even wider at the camera, putting his thumb up. “Where are you, Dad?”

“I’m in Scotland, love, in Edinburgh for a TV thing in the morning. What have you been up to then?”

“We went to Laser Quest, and me and Uncle Zaynie beat Dad and Li-Li! Dad’s had the hump about it but he seems happy now.”

“Oh, Lou, I know how you hate to lose, but to our son? Really?” Louis mouthed something not appropriate for Jacob’s young ears at the screen, making Harry chuckle and shake his head again. He was wearing one of Louis’ t-shirts, and the sight made Louis’ heart ache a bit with missing his husband. It had barely been twelve hours since he’d left but Louis was feeling his absence already.

Harry chatted for a while about the interviews he’d done earlier, how he’d had to be reminded several times to try and stick to the musical subject of the interview, as he kept going off piste and talking about his family, something he often did without realising it. They’d all gently mocked him for that, and Harry had shrugged it off, unashamed he loved to talk about his family whenever he got the chance.

Jacob was yawning by the end of the conversation, and Harry decided to go, knowing Jacob would never want to go to bed if he didn’t. Liam and Zayn kindly got up, deciding to clear away the plates and glasses while Louis and Jacob said a more emotional goodbye to Harry, and they’d only come back in when the call had finished, Harry making Louis promise to call him when he was in bed so they could chat in a more private way.

“Can I put Jake to bed?” Zayn asked, and Louis nodded, kissing and cuddling his son before Zayn picked him up, the little boy clinging on like a koala as they headed out of the room, Liam promising to see him again soon.

“How are you doing, Lou? Caught you looking into the distance earlier on, you got something on your mind?”

“Yeah, but... I’d rather keep it between me and Hazza if you don’t mind,” Louis said reluctantly, hoping it wouldn’t upset his friend. “Sorry, but-“

“Don’t apologise. You can have secrets with your husband, mate. As long as everything’s okay?”

“It is. I promise. Thanks, Li. You’re a great mate. I really appreciate you and Z coming over today and helping me out with Jake. He really finds it hard when Haz isn’t here.”

“I get it, so does Zayn, s’why we offered to come and take you boys out today. You know you can call us anytime, Lou, day or night if you need us?  You’re a great dad, and you’ve done an amazing job with that kid, but it’s okay to ask for help when Harry isn’t around. Work and the boy and the dog is a lot to deal with on your own. You’ve got us, okay?”

Louis surprised Liam then by leaning in and hugging him close, taking a few deep breaths. “I appreciate it, I really do. You and Z are the best mates I could ever have asked for.”

“You better know it,” Liam teased, pulling away and nudging Louis with his shoulder. “We’ll get going in a bit, let you call Haz again, I kinda got the impression he wanted to talk to you on his own for some reason...” He waggled his eyebrows at Louis, who just shrugged. “And they say sex dies when you get married, huh?"

Louis cackled at that, but stopped when Zayn walked back in, shushing him, closing the living room behind him.

“Ssh, you bloody idiots, the kiddo’s asleep upstairs. Did you want to get home, Li?” Liam nodded and stood up, quickly followed by Louis. “It was a great idea to take Jake out, Lou. We’ll have to do something with Harry when he gets back home too.” Louis nodded, and watched as Liam and Zayn got ready to leave, pulling on jackets and shoes, slipping out of the door quietly with promises to pop by again soon, Zayn telling Louis he’d see him at work later that week.

Louis let Percy out into the garden for his final wee while he set the dishwasher off, a little luxury he never took for granted. He locked the doors up behind and went upstairs, checking in on Jacob who was snoring away, Harry doll in bed next to him, and Louis couldn’t resist taking a quick photo for Harry. After, he brushed his teeth and stripped up, getting into the bed that was too big for just himself before he called Harry.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Harry murmured down the line, curled up in bed himself. Louis could see the swallow tattoos on his collarbones from the angle of the camera, and he already missed laying his head on Harry’s warm chest, holding their bodies together. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”

“It’s not even been a day,” Louis teased, smiling softly, knowing he felt exactly the same. “I’m absolutely knackered, though. You had fun today without us?”

“Never fun without you. The interviews are alright, but they’re so boring. They all ask the same questions, and hate it if I try to change the subject onto something else.”

“You mean us?” Harry nodded, and Louis reached out, touching his screen, pretending it was his husband’s cheek. “Well, good. We are the most important topic of every conversation, don’t you know.”

“I do. How’s Jake? Broke my heart to see him cry like that this morning.”

“He’s okay. He said something interesting, actually. I got him out in the garden when you’d gone, kicked the footie about with him for a while to try and distract him.”

“Oh yeah? What did he say?”

“He said he had a dream that he had a baby brother, that the baby looked like you with, and I quote, big fat curls on his head.” Harry smiled so widely at that Louis was afraid his face was going to split in half.

“Well, tell me what he said, Lou, don’t leave me hanging!”

“Alright, patience! Well, he said the baby looked like you, and he said he sang them your songs, and he played with them and made them laugh. Makes me remember when he used to sit with Dotty and Ernie when they were babies, and sing with them. It was so cute, I wish you could have seen it.”

“Maybe I will, soon enough,” Harry said, and Louis couldn’t ignore the flicker of hope burning inside him at those words. “You think he’s excited at the idea of being a good big brother then?”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s going to be a big change for him, because it’s always just been him, but he’s going to be great. I just... I can’t get it out of my mind, Haz. The idea of us having a baby, how close we are now. I know it didn’t happen this time, but I just can’t help but feel it’s our time, you know? That we deserve this. We’re good parents, we’re kind people... don’t we deserve something good too?” He sniffed, hoping that he wouldn’t embarrass himself on camera, and right then, he wished Harry was there beside him to hold him close.

“Oh, love. It will happen, we just have to be patient. It’s shit it’s out of our control, but we’re doing everything we can. Shannon’s had successful surrogate pregnancies before, so there’s no reason ours should be any different. Only a few weeks until she can try again, anyway.”

“I know. I wish I could get you pregnant instead, would make life a lot easier.”

“It would, wouldn’t it? I think I’d be fucking awesome pregnant. I’d wear the tightest shirts ever and show off my bump to everyone who even looked my way.” Louis laughed, loving how Harry’s face lit up at the possibility. “Still, maybe medical science will make it possible in the future, huh?”

“Too late for us though. You looked tired, sweetheart.”

“I am, but I’d rather fall asleep with you. Wednesday already seems too far away, Lou. I just want a hug.” Harry pouted, and Louis would have given anything to kiss those lips, to feel Harry’s hands at his waist again. “Niall called tonight and he said I have to be up at five to get ready for the breakfast TV thingy. 5 am, Lou.”

“Well, think of it as good practise. When our baby comes, you’ll be up most of the night anyway.”

“Yeah, but they’ll be worth it, Lou. They’ll be all cute and hungry, and crying with their little fists waving in the air...”

“Not so cute at three in the morning when you’ve just fallen back to sleep, I promise you,” Louis muttered, recalling the endless nights of sleep deprivation when Jacob was born, left on his own to tend to the screaming baby who was entirely dependent on him. “I swear, people who have never had a baby really have no idea...”

“It’ll be a pleasure to get up for my baby, Louis, I know that much.”

“Don’t think I won’t hesitate to remind you of this conversation when your son or daughter is screaming their head off next to the bed, wanting a bottle in the middle of the night.” Harry just smiled and buried his head further into the pillow, and Louis was almost certain he knew what Harry would be dreaming of later that night when he fell asleep. “I love you, Harry.”

Harry blinked, looking surprised at the sudden change of topic. “I love you, too. I hate that we have to be apart, but I promise I’m going to make sure I’m away as little as possible. It’s horrible to try and sleep without you, it doesn’t feel right to be in bed on my own. This bed isn’t as nice as ours, anyway.”

They chatted for a few more minutes until Louis felt his eyelids start to get heavy. He was struggling to stay awake, and he kept missing the end of Harry’s sentences, his mind already drifting off into sleep after a long day.

“I’ll let you go, baby, I’m falling asleep,” Louis slurred, his voice low and full of exhaustion now.

“No, please stay? I’ll just watch you fall asleep, then I’ll hang up. I miss you so much, please leave the phone on your pillow?” Louis squinted at the screen and could see Harry’s eyes glistening with unshed tears, clearly meaning every word he said. 

“Alright. But make sure you hang up, okay? You don’t need a close-up of me drooling all over the pillow.”

“I get that every night, Lou, no need to be shy. But thank you. I love you so much, I’ll call you both tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Louis yawned, smiling at the camera as he reached for his bedside lamp to turn it off, his face only lit by the glow of his phone screen now as Harry still had his light on.

“Sleepy. Love you, Haz.”

“I love you more, Louis. Sweet dreams, honey.”

“You too. Night night.” Louis blew a kiss which was quickly reciprocated, and his eyes fell shut of their own accord, too tired to bother to try and stay open. He was just drifting into sleep when he heard Harry’s low voice coming through the speaker, the familiar words of the song Harry had written for him settling easily in his ears as he fell asleep.

 _“I want to write you a song_ _  
_ _One that's beautiful as you are sweet_ _  
_ _With just a hint of pain_ _  
_ _For the feeling that I get when you are gone_   
I want to write you a song... ” 

*

“Come on, love. Out you get.” Louis quickly rounded the car as his son hopped out of the car after school on Monday. It had been a long day, and Louis had decided they could go and have a little treat, something they wouldn’t usually do on their own. Jacob had begged to go to Mr Moo-Juice, the local ice-cream milkshake shop, and Louis hadn’t been able to resist allowing him a visit. They’d driven there straight from school, and Jacob was still in his school uniform. “Hold my hand, please, you know the rule when we’re out in town.”

Louis grinned as he felt a little hand slip in behind his own, and they walked together as they talked about their day, soon arriving at the shopping centre in town. It wasn’t large by any standards, but it was big enough to contain some of their favourite shops, including the milkshake shop.

There was quite a queue of teens as they waited in line, and Jacob suddenly tugged on Louis’ arm, startling him out of his trance as he stared at the board, wondering which combination to go for today.

“Dad. Dad! Listen!”

Louis strained to listen to whatever it was Jacob was getting over-excited about, and then laughed when he realised.

“It’s Dad’s song, isn’t it?”

Jacob nodded eagerly and began singing along quietly as they waited in the queue. Louis handed the little boy his phone and let him text Harry to tell him _Hey Angel_ was playing, knowing Harry would find it just as exciting as Jacob did. There was something sweet about how alike they were over things like this.

“Oh yeah, hi. I’ll get a small Milkybar Buttons milkshake please, and a small Crunchie one too, please.”

“Drinking in, or taking away?”

“In, please Dad!”

“In, then, thank you.” Louis handed over the money and moved along the counter, waiting to pick them up. “Do you want to go and sit at that table over there? The one with the green chairs?” Jacob nodded and ran off, Louis’ phone still in his hand as he sat down, tapping away with a look of concentration on his face now. “Fab, thanks so much.”

He took the cold cups in his hand and made his way over to his son, sitting in the seat opposite the little boy who was laughing at something on Louis’ phone screen, which just made Louis panic about what his son was looking at.

“What are you- oh, for goodness sakes, Harold. What an embarrassment.” He rolled his eyes as Jacob turned the screen around and showed him the latest daft selfie Harry had sent them both, being preened by the hair and make-up team for his latest interview, a frilly pink headband holding his curls out of the way as he had make-up applied. Louis tapped back a quick reply, and started drinking his milkshake, shivering when he realised how cold it was.

“Are we going to watch Dad on telly tonight? He said he’s on at seven, and my bed time isn’t til eight, so I’m awake! Please?”

“As long as you do your reading and have your bath straight after tea, then yes. You know I promised you that you could see it, you just have to be a good boy for me, okay?” Jacob took a long slurp and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment after he swallowed the cold liquid. “You okay?”

“Brain freeze.” Jacob shuddered and Louis laughed, quickly agreeing that the drink was indeed freezing cold. “I miss Dad. Is he coming home tomorrow?”

“Yep. He’s hoping to be here in time to get you from school, but if he isn’t, he’ll definitely be here for bedtime. I miss him too, you know.”

“Who do you think misses him more?” Jacob tried to arch like an eyebrow like Harry had been teaching him but failed miserably, making Louis nearly choke on a mouthful of milkshake. “I think it’s me, definitely. I mean, I cried when he left. You didn't even let out one tear, Dad.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn't feel sad inside,” Louis replied, watching Jacob trying to lick around the edge of the cup, not wanting to miss a drop of his drink. “But I think we both miss him the same, in different ways.”

“Do you-” Jacob cut off, looking around furtively for a moment before he hopped down from his seat, coming to pull Louis down so he could whisper into his ear. “Do you missing giving Dad a goodnight kiss?” The little boy stared at Louis, so he couldn’t help but nod, knowing his son was very right. He did miss that. “I do, too. And Dad’s good night cuddles. And story time. And him taking me to school.”

Jacob suddenly looked really sad and Louis picked him up, sitting him on his leg, something the eight year old didn't normally allow. “Come on, love. I know you miss Dad, but he’ll be home soon. Let’s just enjoy tonight, yeah? You and me, like old times.” Jacob smiled and nodded, flinging his little arms around Louis’ neck. “I love you, buddy.”

“I love you, too. Can we walk around the shops for a little bit before we go home?” Louis nodded, and they chatted as they finished off their shakes, both almost shivering with cold after they were done. Louis watched as Jacob ran off to dump them in the special recycling bins, and came back, holding Louis’ hands as they headed into the main area.

They didn't go in many shops, but just enjoyed wandering around, talking as they did. Louis felt like a few people were giving him funny glances as they walked, but he ignored them as best he could, paying his full attention to his young son who was enjoying having his dad to himself again.

“Oh my god, is that-”

Louis rolled his eyes as he listened to the whispers of a gaggle of nearby girls, praying they wouldn’t get out their phones and start taking pictures. It was one thing when it was just him and Harry out and about, but when they had Jacob with them, they preferred that people didn't take pictures of him since he was a minor and couldn’t consent to his image being taken.

“Love, I think it’s time we got going, okay? You need to have a bath and stuff if you want to see Dad on TV tonight…”

“No, Leah, that is him, and that’s Harry kid, too-”

“Jacob, please come here and stay close to me, okay?” Louis was feeling the familiar bubble of panic now he knew they’d been recognised and he looked around, eyeing up the best way to exit without worrying his son. Jacob wasn’t too keen on big crowd situations after what had happened last summer when he’d been pushed to the ground, and Louis was keen to not repeat that, especially since he was alone.

“Excuse me? Are you Harry Styles’ husband, Louis?”

Louis shut his eyes for a moment before he turned around, confronted by a group of about five teenage girls. He swallowed and nodded quickly, hoping this wouldn’t attract more attention.

“Yeah, but… girls, I’m with our son. I just-”

“Oh, we just wanted to say hello, that’s all. We don’t want to cause any trouble, or anything.”

“Oh, um, okay…”

Louis gripped Jacob’s hand tighter, just in case. He gave the girls a smile, wondering if they had anything else to say.

“Is Harry not with you?”

“No, Dad’s off doing telly tonight. You can watch him, he’s on BBC One at seven o’clock.” They all laughed gently, and Louis realised Jacob was doing some pretty good free promo for his dad right now. “Dad says people aren’t allowed to take pictures of me, though.”

“That’s okay, we just wanted to say hi. We really liked your dad’s new song, Hey Angel, it’s so cool, and we’ve all pre-ordered the new album, it’s going to be amazing!”

“Oh, thanks, I’ll pass that on to Harry later on,” Louis said with a grin, loving interactions like this with kind fans. They were being entirely respectful of him and his son, and he knew how much Harry would appreciate their behaviour around the two of them. “So, what are your names?”

The girls all introduced themselves, Louis finding out that they were all thirteen or fourteen, and attended the local high school. They talked easily about Harry for a while, how excited they were to have attended his concert last year and how much they were looking forward to the new album. Louis jotted down their twitter handles on his phone, promising to pass them on to Harry later so he could follow them as thanks for being so kind, and by the end, he could see they were itching to ask for an autograph or photo or something so they had a reminder of their encounter.

“Look, I don’t want Jacob being in any pictures, but I don’t mind if you want one with me? If that’s something you-”

“Oh my god, yes please!” The girls were all squealing now, and handed Louis one of their phones. He told them to get in close and he held it at arm’s length so he could get a selfie, the group of them all squashed in.

“Hang on a sec, girls. Jake, come here, love?” Jacob came back over and looked up at Louis, wide-eyed and eager to help. “Would you take a photo of us, sweetheart?”

“Okay!” Jacob was well practised in this since he loved taking pictures of his parents, so he took the phone and went back a bit, aiming the camera at the group and pressing the button a few times before returning it to the girl, who approved it eagerly.

“Wow, you’re amazing at taking pictures!”

“Well, Dad, not this Dad, my other dad… he’s always asking me to take pictures of him and Daddy together.” He lowered his voice to a whisper then, as if he was divulging a secret. “Sometimes, he kisses Daddy when I take the picture.” Jacob giggled, and that sent the girls into a flurry of giggles too.

“Well, thanks so much, it’s been amazing to meet you. Please say hi to Harry for us!”

“We will, and thanks for being so lovely, we really appreciate it, and I know Harry will too. Take care, girls.” Louis grabbed Jacob’s hand and walked away before they could be stopped again, and they all but ran off to the car park, Louis letting Jacob push the coins in the payment machine to pay for their parking.

 

A few hours later, they’d eaten a dinner chosen by Jacob (sausages, waffles and spaghetti hoops, much to Louis’ disgust), Jacob had had a quick bath while Louis made his bed and tidied his bedroom, and the pair were now in their pyjamas, cuddled up together under a blanket, the telly on mute in the background. Percy was asleep on the floor by their feet, and it all felt very cosy. There was just one person missing.

“Is he on yet?”

“Jacob, you can see it’s the weatherman, and he doesn’t look like your dad, so no.” Louis sighed again, reaching for the remote, turning up the volume a bit. They waited as the show began, the theme music blaring out and soon enough, the presenters filled the screen, updating the viewers with what was coming on.

Harry flashed up on screen, looking very handsome in a yellow suit, and Louis snorted at the sight of his husband. He had to admit yellow wasn’t his favourite but still, Harry certainly stood out. Harry smiled and waved at the camera, and Louis felt his heart flutter when he saw Harry was of course wearing his wedding ring proudly, showing the world he was Louis’.

“Hi Dad!” Jacob cried, waving to Harry on the screen before he caught himself, shuffling back in embarrassment. “Oops, I forget he can’t see me..”

“Don’t worry, love. Dad knows we’re watching, I text him.” Jacob grinned and snuggled back as the show played a VT about Harry, his new album and song, and even threw up a few photos of the family, Jacob squeaking when he saw himself on screen in a photo both Louis and Harry had approved beforehand. “Ah look, there we are.”

“My family!” Jacob smiled, cuddling into Louis’ side as people on the screen applauded as the interview cut to Harry on the sofa opposite the presenters. Louis felt a warmth inside as he sat with his son in their home, their dog at his feet, his husband on the telly in front of him.

“Harry Styles, welcome to the show.”

“Hi, thank you so much for having me, it’s a pleasure to be here…”

They listened as Harry talked about the show he’d done the week before, how much fun he’d had on stage again, and his favourite song to perform.

“Um, I mean I loved singing with Louis, it was wonderful to sing the song we wrote for our son to him like that, but it was very emotional. I did struggle to hold it together at some points.”

“And you wrote the majority of this album in Italy?”

“Yes. It was a decision we made together, and I spent two weeks out there. Louis actually joined me for the last few days, and that’s when we wrote a couple of songs. I actually met someone out there, a woman called Livia, and she inspired me to write about Louis.”

“Oh? A woman? And your husband was okay with that?”

“Given she’s about seventy, yes, my husband was fine with it.” There was laughter at that, and a photo of Livia and Harry flashed up on the screen, the audience cooing at it. “It was great to talk to someone who didn't have a clue who I was, who just judged me based on what she saw and what I told her. Livia was wonderful, and I miss her. I hope to take Louis and Jacob back to Italy to see her again soon.”

“So back to your husband for a moment, if we can…” Louis blushed, almost dreading what soppy things Harry was going to say this time. “You met your husband at one of your concerts just over two years ago, is that right?”

“Yes, that’s right. Jacob was given tickets by Louis for his sixth birthday, and they were in the front of the pit. They caught my eye, we had a little chat and the rest, as they say, is history. I asked Louis out, and I was lucky enough that he agreed to come out with me.”

“And Louis’ son-”

“Our son. Jacob’s as much mine as he is Louis’.”

“Sorry, your son, Jacob, he’s eight now?”

“He is. He’s amazing, and I know he’s watching at home with Lou and our dog so hi, Jake. I miss you, love, and I can’t wait to come home to you both tomorrow.” Everyone aahed again and Harry just shrugged, not at all bothered by showing the world how much he missed his family. Harry blew a little kiss to the camera, and Louis and Jacob did the same back, even though they knew Harry wouldn’t know about it.

“He likes your new music?”

“Very much. He has the whole thing on his iPod, a privilege of being my son, I guess. But yeah, he’s so supportive, and it’s great he’s old enough to come along to the concerts and stuff now. He loves coming to the studio as well, too.”

“Does he have a favourite song of yours?”

“Only Angel!” Both Harry and Jacob said at the same time, making Louis laugh to himself. “It’s one we love to sing together at home, even though it’s an older song now.”

“And are you singing for us tonight?”

“I am. I’m going to sing my new one, Hey Angel. I’m actually really grateful for all the support on this one, it’s been great coming back to music again and everyone loving this one. I just hope you all enjoy the album as much!”

“I’m sure we will, Harry! Thank you so much for joining us tonight, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to get home to your family, but for now, we get to keep you for a little while so you can sing for us. He’ll be back at the end of the show, it’s Harry Styles!”

Louis and Jacob both clapped as the show cut to another VT about a new topic, and Louis knew Harry would be getting in place with his band, ready to perform the new song again. He grabbed his phone and sent Harry a photo of him and Jacob curled up on the blankets, thumbs up at the camera, looking horribly cute and cosy. Harry quickly replied with a sad face emoji followed by lots of kisses, and Louis knew that was his way of telling his boys he missed them.

The room was quiet as the television continued to play in the background, and soon enough, Harry came back on, the familiar faces of his band in the background of the shot as the song began. They were singing outside of the studio, and there was a large gathered crowd swaying along to the song, singing away, ignoring the cameras. Harry looked in his element, and Louis was completely full of pride as he watched on, his husband belting out the words they’d written, full of passion, looking absolutely beautiful.

“Wasn’t that good- oh, Jake…” Louis trailed off as Harry finished singing, bowing slightly to the cameras with a shy smile on his face, dimple popping in his cheek. Jacob, though, was sound asleep, pressed against Louis’ side. His little mouth was dropped open, eyes shut and his hand was under his cheek. He always looked younger than his eight years when he slept, and Louis carefully turned, making sure his son was comfortable. “The excitement too much for you, huh, love?” He stroked a lock of hair away from Jacob’s face and kissed his forehead gently, keeping an arm around him as his husband’s green eyes locked with the camera, as if they were staring into Louis’ soul. Louis just couldn’t wait for him to get home.

 


	74. So Emotional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis find life a little emotionally over-whelming...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back! Thank you to whoever is still reading, I appreciate that you're here... sometimes wonder if I'm writing for myself haha!!
> 
> Hope you all had a lovely Christmas. More soon :) xx

It had been a few weeks since Harry had returned from his promo tour of the UK, and Louis and Jacob were enjoying having him home once more. Things had settled back into their normal routine, even though Harry did keep disappearing to do various TV and radio interviews, making sure they were staggered so he didn't have to stay away from home overnight again. It was something he wasn’t keen to make a habit of, and now he was back home, he wanted to make sure he was there as much as possible.

Harry was currently stood in the playground, waiting to pick Jacob up as usual. He was making small talk with a parent, promising that he would talk to Jacob about sorting out a playdate, knowing the little boy loved having friends coming over to play, especially since the weather was getting nicer and that meant more time in the garden. He took the woman’s number and told her he’d be in touch, smiling at Jacob’s teacher as he opened the classroom door, a stream of excited children leaving quickly and heading for their parents.

“Hello, love,” Harry said as Jacob wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head. “Had a good day?”

“No, but I’m not going to talk about it,” Jacob mumbled as he handed Harry his book bag and lunch box, walking away from Harry as he headed for the gates, clearly ready to get home. Harry sighed and trailed after his son, wondering what had gone on now. There’d been a few issues lately between some of the boys in Jacob’s class, to the point where Mr Fox, the class teacher, had called all of the parents in, explaining the situation and that they were working with the boys to try and sort out whatever problems were going on. Harry felt a little out of his depth, but Louis had told him calmly it was okay, that things would sort themselves out.

Harry tapped out a quick text to Louis, explaining that Jacob wasn’t in a great mood, wanting to give him a heads up when he headed home in a short while. Louis replied with a sad face emoji, and Harry made the drive home in relative silence, the radio the only noise in the car since Jacob didn't really bother to answer Harry’s questions with any more than just one or two words. He hopped out of the car once Harry pulled into the driveway, and waited quietly by the front door, sloping off upstairs when they were inside, ignoring Percy who whined sadly at being pushed aside.

“S’ok Pers, it’s not you,” Harry reassured the dog, bending down to stroke between his ears, putting Jacob’s bag down in the hall, ready for the next day. He sighed as he picked up the post and walked through to the kitchen, determined to give Jacob a little while to himself to sort out his thoughts, no matter how much he wanted to dart off after him and make everything okay. Louis had taught the benefits of allowing Jacob alone time, and how he needed to learn to come to them, rather than them being the ones to chase him all the time. He set about making himself a cup of tea, and Jacob his usual after school drink and snack, hoping he’d come down to fetch them soon enough.

Before Jacob had made his way downstairs, Louis came home in as noisy a fashion as usual, kicking off his smart work shoes with a loud clunk that made Harry chuckle to himself, shaking his head slightly.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he said as he walked into the kitchen, leaning over Harry and resting his arms on Harry’s shoulder, kissing his cheek. “Had a good day? Where’s my boy?”

“Upstairs, and he’s not had a good day by the sound of things,” Harry replied as he shoved his bowl of fruit towards Louis, who took a handful of grapes with a smile and another quick kiss. “You see anything happen today with him?”

“No? His teacher didn't tell me anything either, so it can’t be that much of a big deal. Probably just boys being boys and blowing things out of all proportion.” Harry nodded but he couldn’t help the bubble of unease that was present in his tummy, hoping that Louis was right and that it wasn’t going to be anything huge. Jacob had always been a friendly boy, had lots of friends in class, and they’d never really had trouble, besides the odd one off incident, and they felt lucky in that respect. “Want me to go and chat to him?”

“Nah, I decided to take your advice for once, and leave him to it. He’ll come to us when he’s ready, and if not… well, we’ll deal with that when it comes to it.” Louis nodded and stood, making himself a tea before he sat back down at the table. “Oh, there was a thingy from the post office saying we’ve missed a signed for letter, do you want me to go and grab it quickly while you get changed?”

“Yeah, if you like. Wanna grab a pizza while you’re out? I don’t feel like cooking tonight, and maybe something fun will cheer up that miserable son of ours.” Harry drained the last of his tea and kissed Louis’ mouth before he slipped his shoes back onto his feet, the little card in his back pocket.

*****

The drive to the local post office luckily didn't take long, and traffic was quite light. While he was parked up, Harry darted into the little Tesco Metro next door and grabbed a couple of pizzas, as well as a tub of Jacob’s favourite Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream, hoping it might entice the boy to open up to them as he ate. He pulled up on his driveway, letter in one hand, carrier bag in the other as he rang the bell, grinning at Louis who answered.

“Forgot your keys?”

“Nope, just got my hands full.” Harry once again removed his shoes and followed Louis into the kitchen, setting the letter down on the side as he walked to the big fridge freezer, putting the pizzas and ice-cream away. “What’s the letter?”

“Dunno, it’s addressed to you.” Harry looked over his shoulder to see Louis peering all around the window of the envelope, trying in vain to see any sign of who it was from. He shook his head and slammed the fridge, making Louis jump and stare at him in what could only be described as a guilty fashion. “Nosy.”

“Sorry-”

“Nah, don’t be. S’ok, just open it, wanna wash my hands anyway.” 

Harry squirted a bit of soap into his hands and rubbed them into a lather, stilling when he heard an audible gasp coming from Louis’ direction. He rinsed off and grabbed the tea towe, drying his hands but frowning when he saw the odd expression Louis was giving him. 

“What is it?”

“It’s, um, it’s - oh fuck.” Louis was visibly shaking now and red patches were forming on his cheeks, making Harry feel quite nervous. “Come and see?”

Harry took a few large strides across the floor and stopped in front of his husband, all of a sudden reluctant to see the contents of the envelope. Louis held out the piece of A4 paper, and Harry took it, not taking his eyes away from his husband for now. Louis just nodded back down towards the paper, and looked wide-eyed at Harry again.

“Louis, you’re scaring me-”

“Just read it!” Louis was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet now, and slowly, Harry dipped his eyes. As the words finally sunk in, having read them over several times, his left hand came up to cover his mouth, tears filling his eyes. “Harry-”

“JACOB!” Harry’s shout made Percy run into the kitchen, barking and running around in circles, looking for any sign of an attacker that might be hurting his dad. “JACOB! GET DOWN HERE!”

There was thundering footsteps on the stairs as the little boy came through as quickly as he could, equally alarmed as their young dog. Harry didn't shout, he was a quiet person by nature, and if there was any raised voices to be had, it was usually Louis who did that part. So anytime Harry shouted at anyone, both Louis and Jacob assumed there was trouble or danger, both of which required them to come immediately if they were called for.

Jacob had changed out of his school uniform and was in one of baggy Harry t-shirts, a pair of red shorts on his legs with bare feet. He looked younger than his years, and Harry swept over, crashing to both knees, ignoring the protests of his aching bones as they hit the tiled floor. 

“What is it? What did I do?”

“You did nothing, just- oh Jake.... it’s finally come.”

Jacob looked to Louis in alarm, trying to work out if his dad had lost the plot, or if Louis had any idea what was going on. Louis was smiling, though, and Harry watched them have a quick conversation with their eyes before Jacob looked back to him, waiting for Harry to reveal everything.

“I just went and picked up a letter from the Post Office… come here and read it with me.” Harry stood and grabbed Jacob’s hand, marching him through to the living room and plopping down onto the sofa, pulling the boy onto his thigh as he held out the piece of paper. “Look. This piece of paper… it’s from Child and Family Services.”

“Who’s that?”

“The people who look after everything legal to do with children, sweetheart.” Harry smiled gratefully to Louis, knowing he’d give an answer far too convoluted for the boy to understand at the moment. 

“So they’ve written to me, darling, to tell me something very important.” He paused, eyes flitting between his husband and son to see their expressions, how they were reacting to his slow reveal. “This letter here, it says that my adoption of you has been approved. This letter means you’re now my son, in every single way. I’m legally your Dad, Jake.”

There was silence as Jacob let the words sink in. Harry watched, waiting for Jacob to hug him, but instead, the little boy choked back a sob and ran out of the room, heavy footsteps on the stairs as he ran away from his parents. Harry threw Louis a puzzled expression, devastation plain on his features, whereas Louis had a scarily neutral expression.

“What is- I thought this was what he wanted? He asked me to adopt him, Lou, I thought he’d be happy?”

“He is, just… it’s a lot, I think. Let’s go and talk to him, I think this is one where I need to throw my rulebook out of the window and do what feels right. C’mere.” He pulled Harry into his arms, hugging him tightly. Harry felt himself relax as Louis embraced him, somehow soaking up his tension. “Let’s go and talk to him.”

Harry let Louis take his hand, the pair walking up the stairs and stopping outside Jacob’s door. It was shut, Jacob’s name on the door in wooden letters, and Louis knocked quickly before walking straight in. There was no immediate sign of Jacob, but sniffles and cries could be heard from under the bed. Harry met Louis’ eyes and they both nodded, getting down onto their tummies, looking under the bed at the little boy who was curled up, stuffed teddy in his arms, tissue in his fist.

“Love… talk to us, tell us what you’re feeling. We won’t be cross, we just want to help,” Louis spoke quietly, reaching out to stroke his son’s hand, and Harry knew he found it hard to see his boy so upset like this.

“I love you Jacob, and no matter what you’re feeling, you can tell us. Please? We’re just worried.”

Jacob nodded but didn't move, looking between both of his parents. His voice was small and timid when he spoke, as if he were afraid to speak the words aloud.

“I thought because it tooked so long that you weren’t allowed to adopt me, that they had said no and you weren’t telling me. I always wanted this, for you to be my dad, and now it’s real…”

“Now it’s real, what, love?” Harry prompted, hoping Jacob would finish his sentence.

“I just feel so happy, my heart feels like it’s going to explode.”

Harry could feel his own eyes stinging at that, and Louis’ hand came over to rest on his back, rubbing gently, soothing him. “Jacob, please come out, please-”

Harry was well aware he was begging, but he didn't care. He held his breath for a minute, only releasing it when Jacob started to crawl out. Harry stood up and waited, stumbling when Jacob ran at him, crying against his chest as his little arms wrapped around Harry’s neck, squeezing tightly. Louis stood back and let his boys have their moment, the emotion getting the better of him as well as tears began to fall.

After a few minutes, Jacob pulled away, wiping at his eyes with his hands as he looked at Harry. “Can I see the paper that says I’m your boy forever?”

“Of course,” Harry whispered, and Louis left the room, returning for a moment with the paper which he handed over to Harry with a smile. “See? This says ‘Harry Edward Tomlinson née Styles’ is-”

“What’s née Styles? Why does it say about your knee?” Louis chuckled, and so did Harry.

“That’s because I got married to Dad and changed my name to Tomlinson. The née part tells you my name before I got married, the name on my birth certificate.”

“Oh right, so Dad doesn’t have a née bit?”

“Nope, because I took his name.” Jacob nodded, pointing back to the paper, ready to hear more. “Okay. So Harry Edward Tomlinson née Styles is now the legally recognised parent of Jacob William Tomlinson-”

“That’s me! It says my name!”

“It does, darling. So I’m your legal dad now, I’ve adopted you. You were always my son, Jacob, but this means no-one can ever take you away from me. We're officially a family now, and nothing can change that.”

“Forever? We're a family forever now?”

“Forever and ever,” Harry replied with a grin, laughing as Jacob collided with him again, hugging him tightly. “Get over here, Lou, family cuddle time.” In that moment, there was nowhere else Harry ever wanted to be.

*****

After their happy news, an emotional but jubilant Jacob joined his parents downstairs to make some pizzas, opening up about his day. He’d had a fight with his best friend Tristan about a football match at lunchtime, and he’d said a few unkind things in the heat of the moment he was feeling guilty about. He’d cried on Louis’ knee as he’d explained everything, and they’d ended up calling Tristan’s mum so Jacob could apologise, telling Louis and Harry he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he’d made things right.

“He’s really got your heart, you know,” Louis muttered when he was curled up on the sofa with Harry, a cup of tea balanced on his knee,  _ The Great British Bake Off  _ playing on the TV quietly in the background as they spoke, Jacob now asleep upstairs. “He hates anyone being upset, whether it’s because of him or not.”

“Nah, s’all you,” Harry muttered, running his fingers through Louis’ hair, enjoying the peace and quiet, smiling down at Percy who was curled up on the floor by the side of the sofa. “He’s so much like you, Lou, and you don’t see it.”

“I do, but Haz… just because he’s not your blood, doesn’t mean he isn’t like you. You’ve been in his life for over two years now… he’s so much more like you than you even realise. It’s like that whole nature vs nurture thing, you know?” Harry sent Louis a puzzled look, hoping he’d explain. “Like.. yeah, he’s biologically mine, so of course we look alike, we have similar mannerisms and stuff. But… in so many ways, he’s you, Haz. His kind heart, the way he always wants to help people out, how he’s quiet and contemplative about so many things… I know he’s legally yours now too, but he’s yours in the ways that truly matter, to me, anyway.”

Harry could feel a lump rising in his throat at Louis’ words and swallowed them down, hoping he could stop any more tears from falling. It had been an emotional day, and Jacob had asked to bypass the usual bedtime story, instead talking to Louis and Harry about how he could now apply to change his name as he’d asked Harry last Christmas, and what that would entail. Louis had promised to look into it, and the thought of Jacob taking the name Edward into his own to match Harry’s had made him cry again, despite the fact it wasn’t news to him.

“You have no idea what that means to me, Lou. Seeing that on paper, seeing that he’s actually my son… it meant so much. You’ve both changed my life, so much, in just two years, and god, if we’re lucky, if everything is on our side, it’s gonna change more soon, and fuck, I hope it does. I want this more than anything, you, our son, our family. I love you so much.” Louis tilted his head back and Harry met his lips with a kiss, slow and tender, full of love as Louis leaned back against Harry’s chest, legs tangled out on the sofa.

Louis pulled away and nuzzled against his husband’s chest, heart racing as he thought about what he had to say now, what he had to tell Harry, despite the fact he knew it was good news, that Harry would be as excited for him as he was for himself.

“Haz, can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“Um, I got asked something today, by my boss. Kind of an offer, I guess.”

“Oh?” Harry sat up, shuffling around so he could look at Louis, wondering what he had to say now. “Tell me more, Lou…”

“Well. I was asked today by the head to consider being put on a HLTA course.”

“A what?” Harry’s brow furrowed as he tried to work out what on earth his husband was on about.”

“HLTA. Higher Level Teaching Assistant. It’s a step up. If I pass the observations and exams, I’ll be able to take classes on my own, take over for the teacher. It’s a promotion really, Haz.”

Harry stilled for a moment, letting Louis’ words sink in. “You fucking beauty!” He hoisted Louis up and flipped him over so he was face to face, their chests were pressed together and he kissed his husband hard, pride flooding through his veins. His hands gripped at Louis’ waist, not letting his escaped as he kissed him deeply. “Oh my god, Louis, you’re gonna do it, yes? You have to, you’re going to be so amazing, such a good teacher- fuck, I’m so proud of you, Louis!”

“Shit, Haz, I won’t be a teacher, not yet, but-”

“You will to me! You’ll have the class on your own, you’ll teach them things! That makes you a teacher, and shit! I’ll be married to a teacher! Fuck, I’m so proud of you…”

“Yeah? You want me to do it? The school won’t fund it, I-”

“I fucking will, then. Money’s not an issue, Louis, and yes, you’re doing it. I’ll support you, whatever you want to do, I’m behind you, babe-”

“Under me right now, though,” Louis murmured with a wink, dipping his head to kiss Harry again, letting his tongue slide into Harry’s waiting mouth, both moaning as they kissed deeply for a moment. “Don’t mind being behind you, though…”

“Fuck… you want to?” Harry was whispering now, determined not to wake up their son if he was going to get lucky with Louis right here in the living room, on the sofa. 

“Shit, yeah, please,” Louis whispered in reply, reaching down to undo his own jeans, wriggling out of them before turning his hands to Harry’s jeans, releasing the button and pushing down the zip, frantically kissing as they did so. “God-”

“Harry will do,” Harry smirked, and Louis laughed, Harry quickly shutting him up again with a kiss. They pulled at each other’s clothes until they were bare, laughing softly when they chucked clothes onto a sleeping Percy who grumbled, walking slowly into the kitchen to get away from whatever Harry and Louis were about to get up.

Their moans filled the living room as they finally pushed off their boxers, both entirely naked as they ground against each other, bare cocks rubbing, driving them both mad with a need to be with each other. Louis fumbled down the back of the sofa cushion, pushing his hand down until he reached the bottle of lube that had been left there long ago, and held it up triumphantly, Harry smirking up at him.

“You in me?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded, not really caring which way this happened right now as long as it did. He watched with dark eyes as Louis slicked up a couple of his fingers and reached behind himself, working himself open as he sat astride Harry’s lap, working Harry’s cock between his legs. Harry was moaning, hoping to stave off his orgasm as Louis teased him, and reached forwards, stroking Louis’ hard cock slowly, teasing him as much as he was being teased, knowing Louis loved it as much as he did.

It didn't take long for Louis to open himself up, and soon enough, he reached for his t-shirt, wiping his fingers down before he drizzled some lube down Harry’s hard cock, laughing as Harry shrieked at the coldness.

“You want me to go soft, huh?” Harry questioned, and Louis shook his head, shuffling forwards on his knees, hovering above Harry. Slowly, he linked up and sunk down, breathing out heavily as his body enveloped Harry’s cock with his tight heat, Harry shutting his eyes before he could come from the sensations and the visual of Louis bouncing on him. He reached forwards, touching Louis’ thick thighs, fingertips digging in to the strong muscle, feeling them flex with every rise and fall of his body. “You look so fucking beautiful, Lou…”

“Not so bad yourself, Styles,” Louis muttered, rolling his eyes at Harry’s annoyed face. “Sorry, Tomlinson- ah! Fuck, warn a guy, Haz…”

“You love it when I’m a bit rough,” Harry murmured, turned on and losing his mind a bit now. They’d had quiet sex in bed for the past few mornings, but it had been a while since Louis had been on top like this, since Harry had had this particular view and it was a lot, especially since they had to stay quiet. “So fucking proud of you, you know that? Gonna teach me a few lessons now, huh?”

“Oh fuck off,” Louis joked, swatting at Harry’s bare chest, fingers grazing his hard nipples. “God, you’re so big, fuck… gonna make me come, Haz?”

“Yeah, I’m close, Lou…” Harry just laid back, hands still on Louis’ thighs as Louis changed his bounces, rolling his hips slightly, gasping when Harry’s cock slid deeper inside him, changing the angle entirely. “You’re too good at riding me…”

“I love it, love having you inside me,” Louis mumbled, cheeks red and eyes dark as he let his body take over, seeking the orgasm that felt not too far away. “Oh god, I’m gonna come, touch me…”

Harry responded quickly, wrapping his long fingers around Louis’ dripping length, using his precome and a smear of lube on his belly to make his glide easier, working over him quickly and smoothly. He loved how Louis was struggling to keep quiet, stimulated on both sides, bounces getting rougher and quicker as he sought his own orgasm, whispering dirty words just for the two of them.

“Ah fuck- Harry, I, god, fuck!” Louis came hard, come coating Harry’s chest as he tried to keep moving, wanting Harry to come too. Harry could see from Louis’ face that he was sensitive so e grabbed his hips, planting his feet flat on the sofa cushion as he fucked up hard a few times, Louis’ palms resting on his chest. They moved together easily and soon enough, Harry came with a cry of Louis’ name, filling him up. “Oh god…” Louis murmured, flopping down against Harry’s sweaty torso.

“Love when you let me fuck you like that, quick and dirty,” Harry mused as Louis sat up, gingerly lifting up from him. He winced at the feel of Harry’s come dripping slowly out of him and grabbed for his boxers, sliding them on to catch anything so he wouldn’t stain the sofa. “You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“No, just came a fucking river as usual,” Louis mused, perching carefully on the edge of the arm of the sofa. “I’m gonna hop in the shower, need to get to sleep. You coming with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll just let the dog out for a wee.” Harry smiled wryly t the domesticity of the whole thing, how easily they transitioned from sex in the living room to the mundane tasks of their pet and showering before bed since they were tired. “Oh, and Lou?”

“What?” Louis spun around, a hand on the doorframe of the living room, naked aside from his boxers. Harry’s eyes raked over his body for a moment, taking in how beautiful Louis looked like this, how his tattoos stood out against his tanned skin, how slim he was. “Stop ogling…”

“I’m allowed, I’m your husband. I’m just… I’m so proud of you, Lou. You deserve this, you really do. You’re amazing with kids, you’re an amazing teacher, and I’m so glad they want you to do this. Anything I can do to support you, I will, I promise. It’s my turn to watch you shine.”

Louis just blushed before he blew Harry a kiss, slipping upstairs as Harry put the cushions back in place on the sofa, walking into the kitchen to let Percy out for his nighttime wee. He stood in the breeze, shivering slightly, but Percy ran back in, curling up with a low grumble in his bed. Harry locked the door and ruffled Percy’s head, whispering goodnight to him before he flicked off the light, finally heading up to bed, hearing the shower of their ensuite running as he walked along the hallway, shoving his boxers down as he shut the bedroom door behind him, taking a moment to eye Louis washing in the shower before he joined him, kissing and pressing Louis to the glass, determined to show him again how proud he was as he sunk to his knees.

*****

Louis jumped up from the sofa as Harry slammed the door behind him, and he ran into the hallway, calling out Harry’s name. He sighed when he realised Harry still had his earbuds in, and couldn’t hear a word he was saying. He went over and tapped his husband’s shoulder, hands on his hips as Harry pulled them out and slotted them back into their case, setting it down on the side table.

“Fucks sake, wish you wouldn’t have those bloody things in all the time…”

“What’s got up your ass? You know I wear these when I go for a run, Lou…” Harry winced as he pulled off his sweaty t-shirt, throwing it to the bottom of the stairs, leaving it in a pile ready to go upstairs when he did. “Where’s Jake? Bit quiet, isn’t he?”

“He’s not here, and you need to get your bum upstairs and in the shower. The clinic just called, they need to see us.” Louis watched as the blood drained from Harry’s face and reached for his hand to steady him. “They didn't say anything, but they want to see us within an hour. So get ready, okay?”

Harry nodded and sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Louis walked up after that and picked out a shirt for himself, getting changed and spraying some cologne on before walking into the bathroom and fiddling with his hair, ignoring Harry’s naked body in the shower behind him.

“Where’s Jake?” Harry called over the sound of the shower, eyes squeezed shut as he tilted his head back, rinsing the shampoo from his long hair.

“Mum’s got him, she was heading out anyway so I asked if she’d pick him up, promised we’d get him after and we’d watch a movie tonight.” He rinsed off the wax from his finger and let out a slow breath, his heart still racing. He had a terrible feeling it was going to be bad news, but he didn't dare voice that yet, knowing Harry didn't do well with negativity. “You nearly ready?”

“Yeah, don’t rush me, I’m going as quick as I can.” Louis quickly left, not wanting to get into an argument with his husband, not now. He headed down the stairs, and fifteen minutes later, Harry appeared in a soft pink shirt with his dark jeans, looking handsome and very nervous. Louis had the car keys so got into the driver’s seat, the pair sitting in silence , not daring to voice their fears aloud lest they come true.

As much as Louis wanted this, wanted their family to grow, he knew it would be Harry who would be truly devastated if things didn't work out for them. He’d set his heart on becoming a father again, having a biological child of his own, and he wasn’t sure how his husband would cope if it didn't go to plan. Harry’s fingers found Louis’ and squeezed them tightly as Louis pulled into a space.

“Listen… whatever happens in here, we’ll be okay, yeah? We’ve got each other, we’ve got Jacob. Just… we’ll be okay?” Louis hated how it came out as a question, but he needed Harry to reassure him that they were going to be okay, no matter what.

“Yeah, as long as we’ve got each other.” Louis could see the fear in Harry’s eyes and they got out of the car, walking quietly into the building and checking in with the receptionist. They’d just taken their seats when their names sounded out over the tannoy and they stood up, hands clutched between them. “Ready?”

Louis shook his head so Harry leaned in and pecked his lips. “I love you, Harry, no matter what, okay?”

They both knocked as they arrived at the room, walking in once they heard a voice calling them inside. They were shocked at the sight of not only Dr Waters sat at her desk, but Shannon in a chair nearby, and a toddler sat at her feet, trying to push wooden pieces into a puzzle with a puzzled little expression on her face. Her blonde curls were pulled into bunches on top of her head, she had on little pink dungarees and sandals on her feet, little toes visible from the end. Louis could feel Harry melt at the sight, and they walked towards the desk and the two free chairs.

“You all know each other, yes?”

“Yeah, hi Shannon, how are you?” Harry asked, reaching to shake her hand, which Louis quickly followed, waking himself up from his reverie. 

“I’m good, thank you, good to see you.” The little girl stood up, steadying herself on her mum’s leg as she looked curiously at the two men who had walked in. “Oh, this is my daughter Milly. She should be with my husband but she had a little meltdown when he took the other kids to their clubs, so she decided to come with me, didn't you, sweetheart?”

“With my mummy,” she said softly, burying her head into Shannon's cardigan sleeve. “Who you?”

“I’m Harry, and this is my husband, Louis. It’s lovely to meet you, I love your dungarees.” Milly stood up at those words, proudly pressing her hands to her tummy and looking down at her clothes like it was the first time she’d seen them. “How old are you, Milly?”

She concentrated on holding up three fingers and waved them in Harry’s face, making both he and Louis laugh softly. “I this many!” 

“Wow, you’re three?! Amazing!” Harry said, softening when Milly wandered over, smiling at Louis now. 

“Your hair soft like Mummy?” She reached up and Shannon moved as if to stop her, but Louis bent down, more than comfortable with children being tactile thanks to being a dad and working with children day in day out. She gasped as her hands rested in his soft spikes. “Yes, you soft.”

“I’m so sorry,” Shannon mumbled, blushing at her daughter’s behaviour.

“No, please don’t, she’s wonderful.” They made short conversation with the little girl for a few more minutes, Harry even getting down on the floor to explore her puzzle with her until Dr Waters got their attention, needing to move things along a little.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you in this morning, Harry and Louis,” Dr Waters began, and Louis swallowed, watching Harry get up from the floor and sit back next to him, fiddling with his wedding band in a nervous gesture. “I’d actually like to hand over to Shannon for this, I feel it’s something she needs to do herself.” Louis’ heart sank at that, sure the woman was about to say she couldn’t be a surrogate anymore, that it wasn’t a viable option for them anymore. He sat still, back straight, expression as neutral as he could make it as he clutched Harry’s hand.

Just as Shannon began to speak, Milly came over and clambered into Harry’s lap. Harry threw Shannon a look and she nodded, happy enough for her daughter to be sat with him for a moment. Harry’s hands held her tightly, not wanting her to fall and she soon rested back, little head back against his chest.

“Actually, I need your help for this, Milly, love. Remember what Mummy talked to you about in the car?”

The little girl nodded, her curls tickling the bottom of Harry’s chin, and Louis held his breath, wondering what was coming.

“Milly, did you have something to tell Harry and Louis, sweetheart?” She nodded again and slid down onto the floor, standing between Harry’s legs. She reached up and tugged on a lock of Harry’s hair, playing with it for a moment as the room fell silent, waiting for her to speak.

“Are you going to tell us, love?” Harry asked, eager to move things along, not wanting to wait anymore, and Shannon met his eyes, a soft smile on her lips.

She looked up at Harry and then grinned, little milk teeth gleaming from her mouth, dimple popping in her cheek.

“Mummy got a baby in her belly.”

Louis blinked, letting the words sink in. All he could hear now was the blood rushing through his ears, his hands starting to shake in his lap. He didn't dare look at Harry, not just yet. He just watched in silence as Milly moved away from Harry, running to her Mummy and putting her hands on her belly, kissing it and whispering something they couldn’t hear.

“But mummy says not my baby. Not for Milly. Baby for Louis and Harry. Baby only small.” She turned to face them, holding her fingers about three centimetres apart, little tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as she balanced herself before she looked to Louis. 

“I’m pregnant,” Shannon confirmed quietly. “I thought I might be after the last test was negative, I just felt the same as I did when I had my other babies. The doctors said it could be just the hormone levels weren’t high enough, but I didn't want to get your hopes up. I did a test a few weeks ago and it said I was pregnant. I had a scan the other day, I’m just over six weeks.” She turned to her bag and grabbed something out and handed it to Harry, who took it with trembling fingers. “Here, you can’t see a lot but that little sac… that’s your baby, Harry.”

“Louis-” Harry whispered as tears began to fall. Louis took the photo, not wanting it to smudge. His eyes fell on the image, and he felt like his heart could burst already. It didn't look anything like a baby, not yet, but somehow, knowing that bundle of cells was half Harry, their baby… it was everything. He sniffed and turned to Harry, resting the image on the desk and scooped his husband into his arms, holding him tightly. “We’re… oh god-”

Harry let go then and started to cry, weeping on Louis’ shoulder. Louis saw Shannon, Milly and Dr Waters slip out of the room for a few moments, giving them some much needed privacy. Louis managed to keep his composure, comforting Harry. They didn't move from their spot until Harry pulled back, grabbing a tissue from the desk and blowing his nose, cheeks red now. Louis took the photo again and held it in front of them, their cheeks pressed together.

“That’s your baby, Harry. Your little boy or your little girl… you’re gonna be a daddy, sweetheart.”

“I’m already a dad, Lou,” Harry sniffed, wiping his eyes with a fresh tissue. “I’ve got Jacob, he’s my son. But this is my child, my second baby. I’m… god, we’re gonna be dads again, Louis. This is really happening, isn’t it”?

“It really is, sweetheart, this is happening. Look..” He held up the photo and the smile that lit Harry’s face was everything. Louis wished he could freeze this moment in time, to always be able to see Harry this happy.

“We’re having a baby, Lou…”

“We’re having a baby, darling,” Louis confirmed and leaned in, pressing his lips to Harry in the happiest of kisses. “Good things come to those who wait, huh?”

“The very best,” Harry agreed, swooping into another kiss before pulling away to look at the photo again. “I already love them, Lou, so much. This is everything I ever wanted.”

“Everything you deserve,” Louis whispered, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. “I love you so much, Harry.”

Harry just grinned, and Louis couldn’t drag his eyes away from the look of pure joy in his husband’s eyes as he stared down at the blob that would, over the next eight or so months grow into their son or daughter. They were having a baby. Dreams really did come true. 

 


	75. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry break their exciting news to Jacob, and then to the rest of their families. Harry and Louis then celebrate their news in their own special way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! First chapter of 2019, woo! Hope you like this one, still lots to come. As always, I appreciated your comments on the last chapter, and I was so happy that you're all really happy for Harry and Louis and their exciting news!
> 
> Lots in this one, so enjoy. Thanks to Liz for her help with this one!
> 
> See you soon :) Let me know what you thought in the comments, haha! x
> 
> Manip used is by larry_stylin.manips on Instagram!

“Haz, if you’re not quiet, I’m gonna stop…” Louis knew it was an empty threat but he had to do something to stop Harry’s moans and whimpers, pulling the duvet up and over the pair of them, cocooning them in for a few minutes. Harry just tightened his legs around Louis’ waist, pulling him back down into a kiss as Louis started to rock his hips again, entirely focused on how good Louis was making him feel.

“Please don’t, please-” Harry was begging now but he didn't care. Louis’ cock filling him up was so much, and he’d been on edge for too long already. Louis had been teasing him for nearly an hour now, and Harry felt like he might explode if Louis didn't do something to make him come soon. “I need you…”

“I know, but you need to be good for me, or we’ll stop.” Harry nodded, and pushed his tongue back into Louis’ mouth again, moaning lowly into their kiss as Louis picked up the pace with his hips, thrusting harder into Harry now, his body accepting his husband with ease. Harry was sure he might come to regret asking Louis to fuck him rough later that day when their combined families came for dinner and the big announcement, but he’d struggled to keep his hands to himself since they found out they were going to be parents again a week ago.

They’d kept the news to themselves for a few days, letting it sink in, sharing secret smiles and looks around the house as they pottered about, imagining just how their lives were going to change. Harry had ordered a few baby books from Amazon, devouring chapters at a time in the evenings once Jacob was in bed, reeling off facts about Shannon’s pregnancy to Louis, whose mind was boggled by the information Harry was throwing at him. He’d been excited when Faye had been pregnant with Jacob, of course, but youth had given way to ignorance, and he felt he’d missed a lot of the important milestones.

“I’m close, baby-” Louis whispered as his thrusts became a little more frantic, feeling sweat trickling down his spine, too hot under the covers by now. He leant down on one forearm, pushing the duvet behind his butt, exposing them a bit more, glancing at the clock on the bedside table, seeing it was 4am. He looked back down to Harry, lit only by the smallest slither of moonlight coming in, and stayed hovering above him, loving how ravished Harry looked like this, at Louis’ mercy.

Just as Louis was coming, muttering Harry’s name over and over as his release flooded Harry’s body, their bedroom door flew open and Harry scrabbled to grab the covers, pulling them up and over their bodies, hoping to god the darkness was masking most of what they were doing. Louis’ arms were shaking as he stayed buried inside Harry, still coming but staying as still as he could as he looked to his son who was shaking in the doorway, hand still on the door.

“Jacob, what’s wrong?” Harry found his voice first and craned his head to look at their son, trying not to react to what was happening beneath the sheets covering their still linked bodies. “Love, talk to us.”

“Had a nightmare,” Jacob mumbled, voice thick and laden with upset, clearly having been crying. “Dreamed there was a monster in my wardrobe and I’m scared. Can I come in?” He made to move towards the bed and Louis’ panicked eyes found Harry’s, shaking his head slightly enough, knowing they couldn’t let Jacob in until they’d sorted themselves out. “Um, why is Daddy on top of you, Dad?”

“Uh… I just… um…” Harry was completely flustered and Louis bit back a snort, keen to see how Harry was going to dig himself out of this hole, Jacob looking more curious in the slight sliver on hallway light on his face. “We were, uh…”

Louis couldn’t wait anymore so he jumped in, keen to put their son’s mind at ease, as well as Harry’s discomfort. There was also the fact his cock was getting a bit sore still buried inside Harry, and he need to pull out. “Jake, Dad had a bad dream too, and I was hugging him to make it better. Listen, go and get your cup from the bathroom and get some water, we’ll be right there, okay?”

Luckily, Jacob nodded and turned around, leaving the door wide open while they heard his bare little feet walk away, the bathroom light flicking on a few seconds later as the tap turned on, blasting water into the sink. Louis sighed and shook his head, getting onto his knees as he pulled his now soft cock out of Harry’s body, hissing at the sensitivity from being stuck inside his husband so long after his orgasm. Harry was still hard between them and he regretfully sat up, kissing Louis before he darted out of bed naked, cupping himself as he ran into their bathroom, shutting the door behind him to sort himself out.

Louis grabbed some boxers and was just pulling them up and over his hips when Jacob walked back in, carrying his half full cup of water with him. Louis took a glance at the sheets, pleased to see there wasn’t anything on them before he turned back the duvet, letting Jacob get in before he covered him back up. “Love, you know there’s no such thing as monsters, right? In your wardrobe, or anywhere else? I know the dream was scary, but there’s nothing there, I promise.”

“I just… I wanted to be with you and Dad,” Jacob mumbled sleepily, clutching his teddy to his chest, eyes already fluttering shut. “Where’s Dad gone?”

“Having a wee,” Louis dismissed before he realised Harry hadn’t taken any clothes with him into the bathroom. “Listen, I’ll just see Dad and we’ll be right back, okay?” No answer came so Louis reached for Harry’s boxers, slipping inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He looked around to see Harry cleaning himself up, dropping the toilet paper into the loo, a few splashes of come lingering on his tummy. Louis grabbed a flannel and dampened it, wiping his husband’s skin gently. “I’m so sorry…”

“Please don’t be. S’all part and parcel of having kids, right?” Harry said with a rueful smile, watching Louis continue his ministrations slowly and carefully, looking weary now. “I don’t mind, not when Jake needs us. I mean, I’d rather have come with you in me but hey, one interrupted shag every now and then isn’t the end of the world.”

“Fucking hell, you’re too good to us,” Louis muttered, throwing the flannel into the sink as he handed Harry his underwear, watching him put them on. “I love you. Good taster of what’s to come in like seven months, right?”

Harry grinned widely again at the mention of their impending baby, cheeks flushing slightly red as they always did. He nodded and reached for Louis, hooking his fingers into the elastic of his boxers as he pulled him close, between his legs. “Yep. Our little bubba. I can’t wait to see them on the scan, it’s gonna be amazing, Lou.”

“I know, but before you get too excited, it’s time for bed. Jake’s waiting for us, and you can bet your ass he won’t sleep til we’re in there with him. Maybe we need to mention this monsters thing to Dr Chandler, see if she thinks anything of it for his next session?” He opened the door as Harry nodded, following his husband into the bedroom, smiling at Jacob who was clearly fighting sleep now. “Sleep, Jacob. It’s late  we’ve got a busy day tomorrow, everyone’s coming round for dinner, remember?”

“I know. I’m excited to tell them about Dad adopting me properly,” Jacob mumbled, cosying up to Harry who was now in bed, a little leg pushed between his thighs, holding Louis’ hand over Jacob’s side. “Love you both.”

“We love you, too. Get some sleep, okay? Love you, Lou.”

“Love you too. Night nights, my loves.” Silence fell in the room as Jacob wriggled around getting himself comfy between the warm bodies of his parents, thankfully sleeping soundly with the protection of Louis and Harry surrounding him, safe at last.

*****

Harry stirred the next morning, cracking open an eye and looking down at the little boy who was nestled against him, an arm thrown haphazardly across Harry’s chest. He reached down and stroked down Jacob’s back over the top of his pyjamas, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Louis had disappeared somewhere. He felt like Louis was probably already preparing for the family dinner that they were holding later that night. It didn't matter how prepared they were, Louis always got himself into a bit of a tizzy when they had to cater for more than just the three of them, and Harry wished he could do more to reassure Louis that everyone would be fed, regardless of his stress.

Harry decided to let Jacob sleep off his middle of the night escapades, and slid out of bed, pulling on a hoodie and some shorts before he crept out of the room, closing the door behind him, smiling at the sight of his tired little boy. He walked down the stairs and was greeted by an excited Percy at the bottom of the stairs, wagging his tail and circling Harry’s legs like he hadn’t seen him in forever.

“Morning, boy. You’re very affectionate this morning, aren’t you? Has Dad not fed you yet?” Harry was rubbing the dog between his ears and Percy pushed into it, his tail snaking around Harry’s ankle, trying to keep him in place. Harry chuckled and gently stepped away, Percy following him eagerly into the kitchen. Harry watched as Louis stood at the worktop, a potato in one hand and a peeler in the other, swaying to some soft music he had on in the background. Harry tiptoed over and snaked his arms around Louis’ waist, holding him close.

“Fuck, you made me jump,” Louis murmured, resting his head back against Harry’s shoulder, trying to meet his eye and instead capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. “Sorry I didn't wait for you, but you and Jacob looked so lovely all cuddled up, I couldn’t bear to wake you.”

“He’s like a little hot water bottle, isn’t he?” Harry mused, pulling Louis’ body back until it was flush against his. “God, makes me remember that first time he shared a bed with the pair of us, when he had an accident and I got up with him, do you remember?”

“Yeah, seems like another lifetime now though.” Harry agreed and reluctantly released Louis, grabbing the second peeler from the drawer and the bag of carrots, deciding to help him out a bit. “Did you sleep alright with him in the bed?”

“Yeah, he’s fine, Lou, don’t worry.” They worked quietly together, singing along together under their breath while Percy curled up in his basket, a little sad he didn't get any extra food from Harry once Louis told him he’d already given the greedy dog his breakfast. The vegetables were soon ready and sat in saucepans of cold water, and Harry made them some tea, stopping when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He left the room and smiled at the sight of his sleepy little boy, rubbing his eyes as he sloped into the room.

“Dad, I woke up all alone,” Jacob mumbled, reaching up for Harry who picked him up quickly and eagerly. “Why didn't you and Dad stay in bed?”

“Ah, Daddy wanted to get some stuff done for dinner, you know how he worries,” Harry confided in Jacob, who nodded knowingly. “You looked so sleepy, love, thought you might need a little more sleep than we did. You want some brekkie?” Jacob nodded and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder, smiling at Louis as they walked into the kitchen. Louis wasted no time in coming over and embracing his son, putting him on the floor and bustling about to make some toast for the three of them. 

They ate breakfast together as they talked, and Harry and Louis’ eyes met across the table, realising they had something to discuss with Jacob before the families descended on their house later that day. Harry cleared the table as Louis chatted with their son, and soon, they were all sat, Harry and Louis next to each other, hands linked and resting on the table in front of them.

“Love, we have a little something to tell you,” Louis began, watching Jacob’s face for any sign of reaction but he stayed fairly neutral, waiting to hear more. The breakfast had done the job of waking him up, and Jacob reached for his cup of orange juice, having a sip as he waited for Louis to keep talking. “Okay, so you know how Dad and I are trying to have a baby?”

“With Shannon.”

“Yes, Jake, with Shannon,” Harry replied, pleased Jacob had remembered a small detail like that. It was moments like this they realised their son was growing up, and it made Harry sad for a small second, unable to believe their little boy was becoming their big boy. “Well remembered, sweetheart.”

“So, we had to go to the clinic last week, because the doctors wanted a meeting with us.” Harry felt Louis squeeze his hand, and could feel his nerves, praying Jacob would react well to the next announcement. “When we got there, Shannon and her daughter Milly were there to see us, too.”

“Was Milly nice? How old is she?”

“She’s three, and she was lovely, just like you were when you were three,” Louis replied with a smile, memory drifting back to just five years ago when Jacob was that small. “So, they had something to tell us.” He looked to Harry then, and nodded, telling his husband wordlessly to take over and deliver the news to Jacob. 

“Jacob, Shannon told us that she’s pregnant, sweetheart. She’s pregnant with our baby.”

Jacob sat and just blinked for a moment, nodding slowly. “So… I’m going to be a big brother?”

“You’re going to be a big brother,” Harry confirmed with a wide smile, wishing Jacob would echo it with his own smile. “Is that good? Are you okay about having a brother or a sister?”

“It’s a sister,” Jacob answered with a small smile. “I just know. The baby will be a girl.”

“Are you happy?” Louis couldn’t hold back now, and he had to know what his son thought about the news. “Do you think this is good news?”

“It’s the best!” Jacob jumped off his chair and into Louis’ arms, reaching out to try and grab Harry into the hug as well. “I’m going to be a brother, and you’re both going to be dad’s again, and the baby will be a girl and have Dad’s curly crazy hair and green eyes! And she will be my sister!”

“Well, I hope you’re right about the baby being like dad, Jake, but it might be a boy, you know, you might have a brother,” Louis interrupted, not wanting Jacob to get his hopes up about having a sister.

“It’s not, it’s a girl! I just know, big brothers know these things!” he said, a knowing smile on his lips. “Are we telling all the nanny’s and grandad’s and everyone today? Is that why they’re all coming to dinner?”

“Yes, exactly. They’ll be here later on, and me and Daddy will tell them, but we wanted you to know first.” Jacob looked a little proud at that, and Harry loved how his little chest almost puffed out with pride at that news. “We’re so happy that you’re happy, love.”

“I really am. Can I see the baby in Shannon?”

“Well…” Louis got up and reached up onto the top of the fridge, where they’d hidden the scan photo from any prying eyes. He crouched down next to Jacob, who was now sat on Harry’s leg. “I know it doesn’t look like a baby just yet, it’s really just the very start but this little bundle here, that’s the baby at the moment.”

Both Harry and Louis watched Jacob’s brow furrow as he tried to make sense of the picture in front of him, taking it and holding it closer to his eyes like that would help it look like a baby. “It’s a blob.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the honesty of his son. “Yes, it looks a bit like a blob.”

“I’m gonna call it blobby.” Louis winced at that but Harry just shrugged, knowing there would be no changing Jacob’s mind now. “And you know what?”

“What?” Louis asked, taking the photo back before it could get creased up. 

“I love blobby already, my little blobby sister.”

Harry felt his heart melt at that and he met Louis’ eyes, grinning at his equally happy husband. “Well, we love the baby too, very much.!” Jacob’s arms came back around his neck and squeezed tightly, one of his death-grip hugs that he only gave when he was really happy. “Love you, Jacob. You know that, yeah?”

Louis looked away for a second, knowing the moment was only for Harry and Jacob to share, but eager to hear how his son was going to reply.

“I know, and I love you lots and lots. I know your heart will get bigger and have enough love for me and my sister, because we are both your kids now.” Harry sniffed, willing himself not to cry. “But Dad?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask us anything,” Harry replied, always eager to be honest with Jacob.

“How did you knock up Shannon?” Harry just stared, a little disbelieving of the words that came out of his son’s mouth. “How did the baby get in her belly?”

“Um… Lou?” Harry decided to hand the question over to his husband, still feeling a bit agog at what was going on. He turned to Louis and mouthed ‘knocked up?!’ with a stunned expression.

“Well, first of all, Dad didn't ‘knock up’ Shannon, as you so beautifully put it,” Louis began, sitting back down next to his boys. “Where did you hear that?”

“Greg at school, he’s year six but he plays football with us at lunch. He said his dad knocked his mum up, and she had a baby in her belly, so I just thought that’s what Dad did to Shannon?”

Louis laughed at his son’s innocence, and smiled to Harry, stroking his forearm. “Well, not exactly. And please don’t go around saying that, it’s not the nicest way to put it. Because Daddy is married to me and not to Shannon, the doctors helped make the baby outside of her tummy, and then when it was ready, they put it inside her to grow and get big and strong so we can bring them home when they’re ready to be born.”

“Okay.” Jacob looked pensive, like he was thinking it through a bit more. “So can you knock up Dad?”

Harry couldn’t stop the loud laugh that erupted from him at that, going red at the mere thought of it, knowing it was something he and Louis had used more often than not in the bedroom lately. For some reason, when he was horny, Harry loved the thought of Louis being able to make him pregnant, and he’d mumbled many dirty words to that effect during their latest rounds of sex.

“No, love. Men can’t have babies, only ladies. That’s why we need Shannon to help us have a baby, remember?” Jacob nodded, although Harry was sure he’d still have lots of questions later on. “You wanna go and get dressed, and play with your toys for a while?”

“Okay!” Jacob hopped up and ran off, Percy leaping out of his basket and chasing after his owner, leaving Harry and Louis alone. Louis wasted no time in getting up and sitting astride Harry’s lap, looping his arms around his neck, staring into his eyes.

“Don’t even deny you like that thought,” Louis mumbled, brushing his lips up against Harry’s, pressing his bum down hard on his thighs. “You wish I could knock you up, make you all pregnant with my baby.”

“Fuck, you know I want that so much,” Harry whined, gripping Louis’ hips and shifting him side to side, moving him over his rapidly hardening erection. He groaned as Louis’ bum provided enough friction to make him want more, despite the fact they’d only had sex last night. “You wanna…?”

“We can’t, we have too much to do but-” he pressed a finger to Harry’s lips, trapping the moany words that were about to come out inside. “I promise I will make it up to you later, okay? I got a few ideas I wanna try…”

“Tell me.” Harry nipped at Louis’ bottom lip, darting his tongue into his mouth before he released him, Louis’ hands coming down to pinch at Harry’s nipples inside his hoodie, pulling the zip down far enough to expose his chest and tattoos. “Come on, Lou… what are you gonna do to me?”

“You’ll find out tonight,” Louis whispered before getting up and pressing his palm onto Harry’s erection, stepping away with a smirk on his lips. “Patience is a virtue…”

“Good job really, you stole my virtue long ago…” Louis’ cackle filled the kitchen as he walked away, leaving a slightly frustrated and very horny Harry behind…

*****

“Mum, will you please go and sit down, I just- Lou! Come and take my mother away please, she needs to chill and let us take care of everyone for a while..”

Louis was hovering in the doorway and laughed at Anne’s exasperated expression at her son not allowing her to help in the preparations for the big family meal that was almost ready. There were currently fourteen people in the Tomlinson house, and surprisingly, it was Harry who was crumbling a little under the pressure of entertaining so many people, even if they were family. Louis hooked his arm into Anne’s and gently guided her out, leaving Harry to check on his roast potatoes, a tea towel flung over his shoulder.

“He’ll be fine, Anne, he just wants everything to be perfect…” Louis accompanied his words with a roll of his eyes, and Anne nodded knowingly, having experienced Harry’s need for perfection too many times. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

“Red would be lovely, thanks Lou. Hey, wait a sec-” she reached and took Louis’ hand, preventing him from walking too far away from her. “You’re good for him, you know. You just let him be. You calm him down… it’s lovely seeing you two together, how well you just… are.”

Louis blushed slightly at the compliment, and pulled Anne in for a hug, knowing she still worried about her youngest child, as all parents always do, no matter how old their children are. Louis knew he’d be exactly the same with Jacob, and their new baby too. “I love him,” was all he said, and Anne nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. He squeezed her shoulder again and walked back into the kitchen, taking a deep breath to collect himself as he grabbed the bottle from the side, and reaching for a glass at the top shelf of the cupboard.

“Oi, long legs, give us a hand,” Louis called, and Harry whirled around, grinning at the sight of Louis struggling to reach. Instead of reaching up himself, he hoisted Louis up by the hips, letting him grab it before setting him back down on the floor, and pushing the small of his back against the worktop. He was totally using his height as an advantage to keep Louis pinned in place, and Louis was loving it. “Hey, our families are here, don’t get frisky in the kitchen-”

He was stopped by Harry’s lips pressing against his own, and it didn't take long for them to lose themselves in their kiss, acting like it had been weeks since they’d kissed, not just an hour or so. 

“Lou, Mum wants her- oh my god, my eyes!” Gemma’s shriek forced Louis and Harry apart, Louis giggling in an embarrassed fashion into Harry’s chest, while his husband was more brazen, not letting go of Louis at all. “Seriously? Can’t you two keep it in your pants for more than two minutes?! Honestly…”

“If you married this-” Harry stated with a squeeze of Louis’ arse. “-then you’d be all over it all the time too.” Louis groaned, slapping Harry’s hands away and wriggling out from under his husband, the wine glass still embarrassingly empty in his hand. “Lou…”

“Nope. Save it for later-”

“LALALA NOT LISTENING!” Gemma cried, sticking her fingers in her ears and running from the room while Louis tried to steady his hands enough to pour the wine into the glass and not all over the worktop. He took a smaller tumbler from the cupboard and poured himself a drink, downing it in a gulp to calm him down a little. Harry grabbed his face and kissed him again, licking his lips as he pulled away.

“Mmm, tastes better on you.” He swayed his hips as he walked away, leaving Louis to shuffle into the living room and handing Anne her wine, trying to ignore the knowing smirk on her face, no doubt having been filled in on the delay by Gemma, who was now fervently whispering something to Lottie and Felicite on the big armchair.

Thankfully, it wasn’t much longer before Harry called everyone to the table, dinner served on the multitude of plates. The youngest twins had eaten at home earlier on, so only had tiny portions, and Harry and Louis decided to sit them on their laps, wanting to give Dan and Jay a break. The twins were nearly four now, and Harry loved spending every minute he could with them. The roast lamb was delicious, and everyone ate hungrily, gobbling up everything on their plates, and even Louis ate all his vegetables, much to the astonishment of Jacob.

Desert was a huge apple crumble, and was gone in mere seconds. Harry sat back, a dozing Doris on his chest as he surveyed the family he and Louis had created through their love of each other, watching as everyone conversed easily, everything he’d always wanted in front of him. When there was finally a lull in conversation, Louis tapped Harry’s knee and gave him a nod, the pair taking the sleeping twins into the living room and laying them on the blankets Jay and Dan had put out on the floor just in case, draping one of their woolly blankets over their sleeping bodies.

“You ready to tell them then?” Louis asked, hugging Harry before they went back to face everyone and reveal all. “Nervous?”

“A bit, but not because I think they’ll react badly, it just feels like a huge deal, makes it real, you know?” Louis nodded, knowing exactly how Harry felt. It had been a very awkward conversation with Jay nearly nine years ago when he and Faye had sat her down and told her she was going to be a grandmother. Luckily, Jay had reacted well and been supportive, but still, Louis was relieved he’d never have to relive anything like that. This time, everything was perfect, and he couldn’t wait to tell their families another child would be coming soon enough… Harry’s child.

“Let’s go then.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and dragged him back into the dining room, and instead of sitting down, he cleared his throat, quietening everyone down. “Sorry to interrupt your conversations, but Haz and I had something to share with you all.”

Harry nodded and stroked his thumb back and forth across the skin of Louis’ hand, calming himself down. Everyone around the table fell completely silent and Louis could feel everyone’s eyes on him and Harry, making his tummy flutter slightly with nerves. It suddenly seemed like a big thing. Harry cleared his throat.

“Jake, come here, love,” he said softly, and Jacob slid out of his seat next to Robin and hurried around the table, standing next to Harry and sliding his little hand into his dad’s, making Louis’ heart skip a bit at the easy way they had with each other. “Jacob and I found out something a week ago that changed our relationship forever.” Anne frowned and looked to Gemma, who just shrugged. “It’s been a long time coming, but as of last week, Jacob is now legally my son-”

“Dad adopted me! I’m his boy forever now, and no one can ever take me away from him and Dad ever!”

Everyone cheered at the news, and Harry picked Jacob up again, holding his big son close, not caring he was getting a little too tall to be held like that. Louis watched as Anne came up, hugging both her son and grandson, yet more tears in her eyes. She mumbled something for only the two of them to hear, and Louis just watched Harry and Jacob nod at her words, both smiling and staying close. She sat back down, and Louis picked up his wine glass.

“Three cheers for Harry and Jacob Tomlinson, father and son in the eyes of the law! Hip hip-”

“Hooray!” Everyone joined in, and they repeated it before they all had a sip of their drinks, settling back down into their chairs.

“We’ve also sent off the paperwork to add Edward into Jacob’s legal name, so hopefully that’ll be approved and back shortly,” Louis added, winking at Jay, who had loved the idea of Jacob taking on something of Harry’s now the adoption was finalised. As everyone started chatting again, Louis halted them with more words as Harry put Jacob back onto his feet, the boy staying next to his dad. “That’s not all. We have one more surprise.”

A hush fell over the group again, and Harry bent down, whispering something in Jacob’s ear, the boy’s face lighting up and he quickly moved between Harry and Louis, beaming out at everyone.

Jacob grabbed the hem on his jumper and tugged it up, revealing the blue t-shirt underneath, forcing his chest out proudly as everyone looked on, reading the words WORLD'S BEST BIG BRO on his chest in big white letters. Jay caught on first, stunning the group with a loud explosion of words.

“Oh my god!”

Jacob couldn’t hold in his joy anymore and blurted it out, hands squeezing the edge of his t-shirt. “I’m going to be a big brother!”

There was silence for a second until chaos broke loose. Anne burst into tears at one end of the table and Jay jumped up, banging the table with her thigh and knocking over her water as she scooped Dan up into a hug, and the younger adults and children were hugging each other, huge smiles on everyone’s faces.

Harry disappeared to comfort his mum, sitting next to her and pulling her against his chest, whispering words to her to make her stop crying, although he knew it was tears of joy. Louis was wrapped in cuddles from Gemma, Lottie, Felicite and his other sisters, and he could see Jacob just stood there, watching the action go on around him with a little frown.

“Is no one gonna hug me?” he cried, and everyone laughed, all jogging around to pull him into the biggest family cuddle they could manage, eventually breaking away and making their way back to their seats, although Harry stayed by Anne.

“I can’t believe my baby is having a second child… you’re only twenty six but married with two children…” Anne murmured before crying again, holding on Harry’s shirt for dear life. 

Jay looked over and smiled at her son, her cheeks flushed from the excitement. “Do you know who’s...” she trailed off, knowing Louis would understand.

“It’s Harry’s baby,” he confirmed with a smile, Gemma’s face lighting up at the news the baby would biologically be her brother’s, not that it would have mattered either way. 

“And it’s gonna be a girl!” Jacob piped up, making all the adults chuckle at his enthusiasm. “Don’t laugh, I know it is! I’m her big brother and I know already she’s my sister!”

“That’s right, love, you tell ‘em,” Louis said, pulling his son close into a hug. They all started chatting together, the girls asking Louis lots of questions about the pregnancy and Shannon, wanting as much detail as they could get. It was when everyone was quiet again that Jacob decided to break the silence in his own, inimitable way.

“So Grandad Dan, did you knock up Nanny Jay, like Daddy knocked up Shannon?”

“Oh my god, Jacob!” Louis cried, slapping his hand to his forehead as the room exploded in laughter once more.

*****

“Fuck… lock the door,” Harry moaned as Louis pressed his back against the wooden surface, fiddling with the lock behind his back. Louis pulled it across and pulled Harry down into a passionate kiss, not holding anything back. Ever since the last of their family members had left an hour ago, they’d been eyeing each other wherever they walked, and Louis just knew Harry was looking forward to Louis fulfilling his earlier promise of making it up to his husband.

“What do you want?” Louis murmured, voice low and full of desire for his husband. He could feel Harry’s erection in his jeans, and reached down, pressing his palm flat against it, causing Harry to groan out. He sucked on his tongue again, enjoying the taste of the red wine Harry had been drinking earlier that was sure to lower his inhibitions for tonight’s fun. “Come on gorgeous, tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“Shit, I…” Harry’s cheeks were red now, and Louis knew exactly what that meant. Harry only got coy over a few things when it came to sex, and this was one of them.

“Say it. I won’t do it if you don’t say it,” Louis teased, bringing up his knee to press into Harry’s crotch, making Harry groan again. 

“Want you to fuck me… get me pregnant.” Louis shuddered at Harry’s mouth uttering those much needed words and he nodded, putting his foot back on the floor and pressing his body against Harry’s, licking up the side of his husband’s neck, tasting Harry. “Please- want your baby Lou-”

“Shit, okay…” Louis slid his fingers into the waistband of Harry’s jeans and pulled him over to the bed but not laying him down just yet. Louis wanted to take his time with this, to make it as good for Harry as he could. He knew Harry had been on edge all day, ever since Jacob had asked them if Louis could ‘knock him up’, and he was sure the thought hadn’t left Harry’s mind since then. His shaky fingers started to work open the buttons of Harry’s shirt, pushing it off his shoulders when he was done, running his hands over Harry’s flat stomach. He pushed up onto his tiptoes and sucked at one of Harry’s bird tattoos on his collarbones, leaving a mark. “Mine.”

“Always yours,” Harry mumbled, his head thrown back in ecstasy. Louis watched goosebumps popping up over Harry’s skin as his fingers fiddled with the button fly of Harry’s jeans, grazing his erection with each button he undid, knowing it was driving Harry mad with want, needing to be touched. Louis knelt down, picking up each of Harry’s feet to pull the jeans off, throwing them behind him when they were off, leaving Harry in the tightest navy boxers he’d seen. They clung perfectly to Harry’s slim hips, but didn't do much in trying to hide his cock, already hard, and a damp patch was clear to see on the fabric.

Louis leaned in and nuzzled Harry’s erection, smirking when Harry’s hands flew down to his head, keeping him in place as Harry rocked his hips, causing his cock to bump against Louis’ cheeks and chin, clearly needing more now. Louis’ hands were gripping at Harry’s bum and he encouraged Harry, knowing he’d make it worth his while tonight.

“Turn around,” he whispered, and Harry did so, bending over with his palms flat on the bed. Louis slowly pulled down Harry’s underwear, exposing his backside and he saw Harry’s hole flutter as the cool air hit him. He wasted no time in kissing each bare cheek, teasing Harry with the tip of his finger, enjoying how Harry’s body responded to him. Harry absolutely loved it when Louis ate him out, and Louis decided to just go for it, to let Harry lose control before he fucked him. He licked down Harry’s arse, from top to his balls, Harry’s cry filling the room as Louis worked him open with his tongue, occasionally dipping his finger inside, opening Harry up, ready for his cock.

“Oh my god- Louis, I- ah!” Harry was panting and rocking back and forth, not quite able to decide what he wanted more, and he sighed in pleasure as Louis’ other hand came around, gripping the base of his cock, making sure Harry couldn’t come just yet. He wanted to save that for when he was buried inside Harry, making him come from his cock alone. “Fuck… so good, feels so good-”

“Mmm,” Louis hummed, knowing Harry would feel the vibrations against his most private place. He carried on licking and kissing and sucking for a few more moments until his face was wet, and his jaw ached from his position, and stood up, admiring how submissing Harry looked like this, exposed and open for him. “On your back, spread your legs.”

Harry scrabbled to comply, crawling onto the bed and collapsing onto his back, legs splayed out as he stroked his cock. Louis just stayed where he was at the foot of the bed, immensely turned on at the sight in front of him. Harry’s body was a blessing, and Louis’ eyes took in every inch of it… how his chest rose and fell with each of his breaths, the tattoos that littered his skin, some for himself and their son, his long, long legs, and his huge cock, protruding from his body, hard for Louis, only ever Louis.

“You are so beautiful.” Harry flushed at Louis’ words, and beckoned him over. Louis did so, coming to a stop between Harry’s legs. “You have no idea how gorgeous you’d look all pregnant with my baby.” Louis’ hand came up and rested on Harry’s toned stomach, feeling his muscles flutter under his touch. “All swollen with me, letting the world know I came in you, made you mine.”

Harry shut his eyes, overcome with emotion at Louis’ words now and Louis decided not to string it out, knowing how much Harry needed it now. He moved forwards and rummaged in the bedside drawer, emerging with a bottle of lube in his hand and quickly coating his cock in it, not wanting to hurt Harry with what he was about to do. “Ready?”

Harry just nodded and pushed his legs up, his feet resting on the bed. Louis pushed in quickly, knowing Harry was ready for him, moving until his hips rested against Harry’s arse, the pair intimately connected again. Harry groaned at the sensation of being filled and Louis held his hips tightly, keeping Harry still. Louis paused for a moment, watching as Harry’s eyes fluttered open, locking on Louis’ in a few seconds. 

“I love you so much.” Harry’s words floating into the silence of their bedroom and settled happily in Louis’ heart, reaching to grab Harry’s hand. “I never want anyone but you, Louis.”

“I only want you, too,” Louis murmured, rocking his hips back and forth slightly, causing waves of pleasure to roll over the two of them. “Want me to show you how much I want you?”

“Please.” Harry released Louis’ hand and reached for a pillow, gingerly lifting his hips with Louis still inside him, sliding it underneath with Louis’ help. “There, like it like this, feels deeper.”

“Feels fucking amazing,” Louis whispered, pulling back until just his tip was inside his husband before he slid back inside, putting a little more force into his thrust. Harry’s eyes fluttered and Louis repeated the motion several times, both of them panting and enjoying how good it felt to be connected again. Louis’ hands roamed Harry’s body, keeping hold of his thighs as their sex got slightly rougher, both needing more now Harry’s body was entirely used to Louis being inside him. “Want more?”

“Fuck, yeah-” Harry moaned, and allowed Louis to pull his body down, shifting their angle slightly making him arch his back in pleasure as Louis’ cock pressed against his prostate, pushed deep inside him now. “Oh my god-”

Louis angled his thrusts, lifting Harry slightly by his hips and reached up, pressing his hand down hard on Harry’s tummy, watching the muscles give slightly under his touch. He smiled as he felt what he needed, and kept thrusting, ignoring the burn in his own thighs at the angle he was pushing himself into Harry repeatedly. “Wow, you feel fucking amazing, taking my cock, letting me get you pregnant-”

“Want it so much, want your come, Lou.” Harry’s eyes flew open as Louis grabbed for his hand, pressing it down just underneath his belly button, the pressure on his hand so much. “Holy shit, is that-”

“My cock, yeah,” Louis breathed out, knowing Harry could feel the tip of cock pushing forwards in his body under his hand. Louis had hoped that this angle would allow for Harry to feel him inside him, but feeling it for real was something entirely. “That’s me in you, where I’m gonna put my baby…”

“Fuck me harder, wanna feel it,” Harry begged, mesmerised by how it felt to feel Louis from outside his body, knowing he was fucking him. Louis didn't hesitate, starting to pound at his husband, watching how Harry’s eyes glazed over in complete pleasure overload, stimulated from all angles, letting Louis fuck him exactly as he wanted to. His jaw was dropped now, but no words came out, so Louis just carried on, keeping Harry’s hand pressed down, letting Harry feel him with each thrust.

“Gonna come, baby, fill you up… wanna knock you up, fill you up with my baby, you want it?” Harry just nodded and Louis slammed back inside, making Harry cry out, not bothering to even try and keep quiet. Louis could only Jacob was exhausted from their busy day and that he was sleeping through this. At least the door was locked this time. “So fucking sexy, watching you like this…”

Louis kept mumbling as he fucked Harry, chasing his imminent orgasm, aware of exactly how much his husband wanted it. Dirty words fell from his lips, pertaining to how much he wanted to get Harry pregnant, how much he wanted to see Harry’s belly swollen and big with his baby, and it didn't take much more for Louis to come with a shout of Harry’s name, his release flooding Harry’s body. His hand flew down as he rode out the high of his orgasm, grabbing Harry’s cock and stroking him quickly, knowing Harry was already too close himself.

He watched with hungry eyes as Harry’s cock twitched in his hand, splattering his come over his stomach, Harry’s mouth in a soundless scream, hand still pressed on his belly, getting covered too. It was one of the most erotic moments of Louis’ life, and he wished he could pause time and stay in this moment forever. Harry came to as his body recovered from the enormity of his orgasm, and he watched as he reached into his bedside drawer, feeling around for something.

“What are you- oh.” Louis smirked as he watched what emerged from the drawer in Harry’s hand, taking it from his husband. “You really are a dirty boy, aren’t you?” 

Slowly he pulled out, watching as Harry’s body released him and quickly released replaced his cock with the pink plug Harry had handed him, keeping his come inside Harry.

“Well, needs to stay in me if you’re gonna get me pregnant,” Harry replied with a smirk, clearly still slightly lost in the haze of what they’d done. “Fuck, that was amazing… never felt you from the outside like that before.”

“I wasn’t sure I could do it, but it’s fucking worth it, that felt fucking amazing, Haz. You’re so good, you know that? I love that every time we have sex, it’s different and that you wanna try this shit with me.”

“Think I’d be willing to do pretty much anything with you, Lou,” Harry mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open now, entirely worn out. “Come here, I wanna cuddle you. Come to me.”

Louis chuckled and nodded, not bothering to clean the pair of them up. He snuggled up against Harry’s warm body, resting his head on his shoulder. Harry tilted his head and puckered his lips, letting Louis kiss him softly and gently, the antithesis to the kisses they shared before and during sex. Louis loved how quickly things changed between them, from needing and desperate to loving and sated.

“I love you. I love our son, and our baby. You know you’re everything, right? This is all because of you. Because you let me love you. You let me in to your life, your family.”

Louis was pleased it was dark now, Harry having flicked the lamp off, because he was entirely too aware of how Harry’s words were making him blush. “My life is a thousand times better because you came into it… you gave Jacob and I the family we always wanted, and I’ll love you forever for giving us that. This baby… he or she is gonna be the most beautiful kid in the whole world because they’re yours, and fuck, I can’t wait to watch you with them, Haz. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this, to make our family grow, to see you with your two children. I just… I don’t have enough words to tell you how happy you make me, how much I love you and adore you.”

He listened for a reply but just smiled when he realised Harry had fallen asleep, probably missing his heartfelt speech. He knew that Harry knew it anyway, that Louis adored him more than anyone in the world, and he let himself fall into sleep, curled up in the arms of the love of his life, the future of their family looking brighter than ever. 


	76. Forever Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through Jacob's eyes...
> 
> Jacob has a chat with his Dad about important things, and tells Dr Chandler some secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit different, so I hope you like it! I thought it might be nice to see things through Jacob's eyes, so enjoy :) DO let me know what you think in the comments, please!
> 
> Thank you as always for the amazing comments on the last chapter, you have no idea how much they keep me going!
> 
> In this one, Dad is Harry, and Daddy is Louis.

 

"Jacob! Up you get love, we need to get going soon!” Jacob laid back and blinked at the ceiling, the little plastic glow-in-the-dark stuck up there a weird shade of yellow in the morning light. He could see the sun peeking through behind his curtains and stretched his little legs, kicking off the duvet as he did so. He’d just swung his legs off the bed, feet heading towards his slippers when his Dad burst in, far too cheerful for the early time but that was normal now.

“Morning Dad,” Jacob mumbled with a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as Dad pulled open the curtains, fussing and flattening the duvet as he always did. “Where’s Daddy?”

“Making you brekkie, come on, love. Do I get a hug?” Jacob grinned and nodded, wrapping his arms around Dad’s neck, fiddling with the long bit of headscarf hanging down the back of his neck, keeping Dad’s hair out of his face. “I thought we could walk Percy before we go to see Dr Katie this morning if you eat nice and quickly? Daddy has a few things to do for school, so we could give him some peace and quiet to work in.”

“Okay. Can I wear my new shorts?”

“Course, Jake. Let’s go down then before Daddy burns something and I have to drive to Tesco’s for more eggs and bacon.” Jacob giggled as he followed his Dad down the stairs, smiling at the sight of his JACOB tattoo along his arm that he’d got what felt like years ago now.

“Dad?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you gonna get a tattoo for my sister like you did for me and for Daddy?”

“Probably, yeah. Your sister or brother, remember.”

“Nah, s’my sister, I knowed it.” Jacob grinned at his Daddy who was dancing around the kitchen to Dad’s new song, singing away as he stirred the scrambled eggs in his frying pan. One of the best things about Dad marrying Daddy was the fact he’d taught him how to cook. Not that Daddy was bad before Dad came along, but now he got fun things like dippy eggs and soldiers, scrambled eggs, and even chocolate chip pancakes that he helped to make. Dad really was the best cook, but Jacob would never say that out loud. No way. “May I have some apple juice please?”

Dad nodded and walked to the cupboard, setting down Jacob’s favourite cup before he went over to the coffee machine, pressing a few buttons to set it into action. The horrible smell soon filled the kitchen and Jacob wrinkled his nose, not understanding how his dads loved to drink that horrible stuff so early when clearly fruit juice was the best thing for breakfast. He plopped himself down at the table and waited quietly for his food, tilting his head when Daddy brought his plate over for a quick kiss.

“Me and Dad are gonna walk Percy when you do your work,” he revealed, starting to cut into the slice of bread that sat beneath his yummy eggs, blowing on it to cool it down. He’d burnt his tongue too many times not to remember to do that now. “What do you have to do?”

“Um, a few forms and boring paperwork. Nothing exciting, I’m afraid. Oh, did we need to finish that little project today?”

Jacob nodded, swallowing his food before he answered. He knows Dad and Daddy don’t like when he talks with his mouthful. “Yeah, it’s due on Monday and I want to get a certificate in assembly for finishing it. I only have two more pages to do.”

“I’ll help you later on when we get back if you like?” Dad offered before taking a bite of his bacon sandwich, a drop of ketchup slipping out and onto the plate. “God, Lou, this is good. Nice to have breakfast made for me for once.”

“Oi!” Jacob giggled as Daddy flicked Dad’s ear, making him lean as far away as he could without toppling off his chair. His Dad’s really were the best. They always made each other laugh, and even if they had arguments, which wasn’t very often, Jacob had to be honest, they didn't last long and they were usually back to normal quickly. “Anyone would think you did all the cooking around here…” Louis said with a roll of his eyes.

Jacob couldn’t help jumping in there. “But Dad does do all the cooking! You said to him the other day that cos he’s better he might as well just do it all!”

“Oh shush you!” Louis teased, waving Jacob’s words away, making both Jacob and his Daddy laugh at him. Jacob loved it when Dad laughed. It was a funny sound, a really high-pitched loud giggle that sounded nothing like his deep speaking voice. Jacob often wondered if he’d end up with a big deep voice like that when he was a big grown up man, or if he’d be more like his Daddy. Either way, he was sure he’d be happy.

It didn't take long for the Tomlinson boys to finish up their food, and Jacob put his cup and plate in the sink before he ran upstairs, his dog hot on his heels as he dived into his bedroom, pulling his pyjamas off as he did so, throwing them onto his bed. Dad would fold them later when he made his bed, Jacob didn't have time for things like that, not now. Walking Percy was one of his favourite things to do, especially when Dad let him hold the lead. That always made him feel super grown up.

Jacob found the clothes he wanted to wear, pulling them on and walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he was little, Daddy had showed him all these horrible pictures of people who didn't bother brushing their teeth when they were little and Jacob  _ never _ wanted that to be him. They looked horrible. He didn't understand why you wouldn’t brush your teeth - the brushes came in all sorts of colours, the toothpaste was quite nice and two minutes wasn’t really that long. Jacob looked in the mirror making sure he got all his teeth, pushing his tongue through a gap before he spat and rinsed, sitting his toothbrush in the little cup on the side.

“Dad! We’re ready!” Jacob carefully walked down the stairs, grabbing his Van’s and Percy’s special walking collar which was hooked up by the front door, along with his black lead. His dog was good and sat in front of him, waiting for a grown up to put it on, because Dad had explained that if Percy didn't have it on tight enough, he might pull out of it and run away. The thought had made Jacob feel sad for days. “Good boy, I love you!” He ruffled the dogs ears, laughing when a big wet tongue came and licked his hand.

“Blimey, you’ve beaten me! Let me find my sunnies and I’ll be with you.” Dad turned and headed back into their big sitting room, calling out as he did so. “Lou, have you seen my Ray-Bans?”

“On top of the fridge, where  _ you _ left them!” came the reply. There was a soft mumbling and then the scraping of a chair, and Jacob grinned as both of his dads came into the hallway, one dressed for going out, the other not so much. “Right you three, have fun and don’t get lost.”

“We won’t, silly! I know the way so don’t worry. Love you, Daddy.” Jacob sprung up and leapt into his Daddy’s arms, hugging him tightly and kissing him before he took the lead from his other dad as they kissed goodbye. “Enough kisses, come on or we won’t get to walk far and I want to hold the lead!”

“Sorry, coming…” Dad replied, slipping the collar over Percy’s head and clipping the lead on. “I’ve got my keys in case you pop out, but we’ll be about half an hour. Love you, babe.”

“Love you too, Haz. Bye Jake, have fun!”

“Oh, Dad, have you got the poo bags?”

Jacob watched his dad pat his pockets, nodding when he found them, blowing Daddy another kiss as he opened the front door.

“Good, okay, bye Daddy! Let’s go, Percy!” Jacob took the lead from Dad and ran off up the driveway, Percy’s feet making funny noises on the gravel next to him. They stopped when they got to the end of the driveway, knowing there were lots of fast cars around, and after what happened to Dad ages ago with the bad van, Jacob wasn’t about to risk anything. He took Dad’s hand when he stood next to him and they turned left, heading off into the familiar local streets, Percy trotting happily at his owner’s side.

“So Jake, it’s Father’s Day next weekend-”

“I know! We’ve been making cards at school, and I’m special cos I get to make two cards!” Jacob’s eyes widened when he realised what he’d said and he looked up at Dad, who was chuckling quietly. “Uh, oops? Pretend you didn't hear that!”

“Don’t worry, love, I figured you’d be doing something at school like you did last year. Anyway, I had a bit of an idea, for Dad?”

“Tell me!” Jacob felt excited at the prospect of doing something nice for his dad, who he thought deserved it more than anyone in the whole world. His dad was the best person ever, and Jacob always wanted to make him feel special and loved. “Is it a new house?”

“A new house? What- no! What’s wrong with our house?!”

“Nothing, I’m just trying to think of nice things to buy him.”

“Well, that’s a sweet idea, but that’s a lot of money, love. And I really like our house…”

“So do I! My room’s the coolest, and my tree house is coming soon!”

“I know, it’ll be so much fun to go up in the summer. But anyway, back to Daddy and Father’s Day. He likes us to do things together for him, so what about we cook him a nice dinner together again, and maybe buy a new DVD to watch? We could maybe go out somewhere in the day as well.”

“We could make him that frog in the pond thing-”

“Toad in the hole? We could do, but what about homemade pizzas? We could make the dough ourselves, and decorate them with Dad’s favourite things on top.”

“Yes! Stinky pepparonary, and cheese and the hot beef thing that makes his lips go tingly!” 

“Sounds like a really good idea. Oh! Maybe we could do something like a treasure hunt for him around the house- oops, careful!” Jacob was yanked to a halt as Percy stopped, sniffing eagerly at a lamppost, cocking his leg to mark it with his own scent which Jacob always found funny. When he was done, they carried on, and Jacob held Dad’s hand again, ready to cross the road. 

“Remember, look left, then right, then left again. Is it clear?” Jacob did as Dad said, listening out for cars and nodded when he was confident it was safe to cross. They all did so, and Jacob grinned up at Dad, proud of himself. “Well done, love. If we go right here, then that will take us back towards home, it’ll have to be a shorter walk today. Actually, I did have something to tell you, well, to see what you think really?”

“Is it about my sister?” Jacob looked up to see Dad smile at the mention of the baby, as he and Daddy always did when they talked about it. It was quite disgusting sometimes, how gooey they got over it, how the picture was stuck on the fridge. Dad sometimes stood in front of it and stared, touching it with his fingers which Jacob didn't really understand. It wasn’t like he was touching the actual baby, so really, it was a bit of a weird thing to do. Grown ups were weird sometimes.

“Not really, it’s about my singing, my job.” Jacob nodded and they both stopped as Percy wandered over to a patch of grass, ready to go to the toilet. Again, Jacob thought it was funny he went to the toilet in public and didn't save it for at home in the garden where no-one could see. Jacob looked back up at Dad, not needing to see Percy doing his business. “Uncle Niall and my managers wanted me to think about going on tour soon, with the new album.”

“But what about the baby?” Jacob thought about it, wondering why Dad would want to go away when so many exciting things were happening. He and Daddy had wanted a baby for so long, and now they were getting one, he was going away? “Won’t Daddy find it hard on his own with the baby and me if you have to go away again?”

“Well, it’ll be before the baby, sweetheart. The baby isn’t due for about seven months, so I have time to do what I have to do before the baby is here. There’s no way I would miss any of that, no way. You know how much you and your Daddy and our baby mean to me, yeah?”

Jacob watched as Dad fished a poo bag from his pocket, clearing up the mess Percy had left behind before walking a few steps away and dropping it in the special bin on the lamppost. Jacob wrinkled his nose, pleased he didn't have to worry about doing things like that. It’s a job for his dads. Dad came back and smiled, taking Jacob’s hand again before they walked off. “So tell me what you’re thinking, and be honest, okay? I won’t be cross, and nor will Dad.”

“I don’t like the idea of you going away,” Jacob began, knowing Dad probably knew this anyway. He hated one night apart, let alone more but he was a big boy now and he wanted Dad to know that. “But I also know that lots of people love to hear you sing. It makes loads of people happy when you’re on stage, so maybe it might be nice if you goed out for a little while to see them and sing to them?”

Jacob’s heart ached slightly at the thought of having to say goodbye to Dad again,but knowing he was coming home again made it slightly easier. He also knew that Daddy would take really good care of him while Dad was away, and the thought of spending a bit of time with Daddy on his own again made Jacob smile. It always used to be just the two of them, and he really had the best Daddy in the world.

“You’re the best boy ever, you know that? Not many eight year olds would understand that sometimes they have to share me with other people, but you do. You’re the most unselfish, kind-hearted boy I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky you’re mine, Jake.” Jacob was stopped walking by Dad suddenly scooping him into a tight cuddle, his feet lifting quickly off the floor and making him giggle. “I won’t be away for too long though, okay? I’ll make sure to have time for you and Daddy to pop out and see me, and we’ll be able to FaceTime and call each other all the time, I promise. And if you really need me to come home, I will. How does that sound?”

“Will you come home if the baby needs you too?”

“Of course, but Shannon’s taking really good care of the baby for now, so I’m sure you won’t need me.”

Jacob nodded and stumbled when Percy tugged on the lead, keen to find some more exciting new smells around him. “Okay. You can go, Dad.”

Harry grabbed the lead back and bent down, encouraging Jacob to hop onto his back now, something they hadn’t done for a while since Jacob was a big boy now, and could walk far on his own. But sometimes, it was nice to be Dad’s little boy again and to have him look after him like this, to save his feet from walking. Jacob hopped up and felt Dad’s big strong hands holding onto his legs so he wouldn’t fall, bouncing along with each of their steps.

“I love you, Jacob. So much, I really do. You know that?”

“I really do,” Jacob answered, kissing the top of his dad’s head as they turned the final corner, heading for home. “I’ve always knowed it.”

*****

A little while later, Jacob waited in the back of the car while Daddy pulled into a parking space, turning the engine off before he was allowed to remove his seat belt. The door next to him soon opened and Jacob hopped out, feet slamming onto the concrete below. They all crossed the car park together, heading into the familiar building, and Jacob ran over to the kids area while Dad and Daddy waited at reception to check him in. It was a comfortable routine by now, and Jacob didn't mind coming here at all.

He watched as Dad and Daddy crossed the waiting room, sitting down together, holding hands as always as they spoke quietly, heads bowed together. Jacob loved how close they were, how they were always kissing and holding hands. Sometimes it was annoying, like when Dad was supposed to be making him dinner and Daddy distracted him with his kisses, but seeing them in love was a lovely thing. Dad made Daddy very happy and that was all Jacob could ask for really.

He turned to a little girl sat on the floor on her own, a little dolly in her hands as another lady watched them closely. Jacob thought it must be her mummy and he walked over, sitting down next to her and smiling. She looked about the same age as the children in Mrs Taylor’s class at school, so Jacob thought she was probably about five. He picked up another dolly, and tapped the girl on the leg, getting her attention. 

“Hi. Can I play with you?”

“Okay.” The girl pushed the Barbie car across to Jacob, who sat his dolly in it, pushing it around the girls legs. “What’s your name?”.

“I’m Jacob. What’s yours?”

“I’m Ruby. I’m six. Are you with your mummy like me?”

“No. My dads are over there.” He pointed in the direction of where Dad and Daddy were sat, and they gave him a small wave when they saw the children looking their way, making Jacob grin and wave back. “Is this Barbie your favourite?”

“Yeah, she’s okay. I don’t have many dollies at home.” The little girl played quietly with Jacob for a few minutes until she asked a question that Jacob was used to. “Don’t you have a mummy?”

“Nah. I did when I was borned, but she isn’t with us anymore. Dad and Daddy look after me, they’re just as good as a mummy.” Ruby seemed to consider Jacob’s words for a minute before she nodded, accepting his answer. Jacob knew it was okay for people to ask questions, because it seemed most of the kids at school had a mum and a dad, or at least a mum. He was the only one lucky enough to have two daddies at home to take care of him, and that always made him feel pretty special.

“Jacob Tomlinson to Doctor Chandler’s office, Jacob Tomlinson to Doctor Chandler’s office please.”  Jacob looked up at the sound of his name and saw his dad’s do the same out of the corner of his eye. 

“That’s my name, I gotta go. Thanks for playing with me Ruby.”

Ruby just waved as Jacob walked over to Dad and Daddy, holding both of their hands as they walked up the corridor, knocking gently on the door before they were called in. They sat down, and Jacob clambered onto Daddy’s lap, getting comfortable.

“Hello Jacob, Harry, Louis. How are you all?”

“We’re good, thanks, Dr Chandler, how are you?”

“Ah, I’m very well, thank you, Louis. Jacob, you’ve got so big! Feels like a while since I’ve seen you but it’s nice to have you back. Are you both staying, or…”

“They can go, I’m okay on my own.” Dad and Daddy smiled at that, knowing that was probably going to be the case. Jacob was fine alone with Dr Chandler now, and sometimes it was nice to say things without worrying about hurting Daddy or Dad’s feelings. They stood up and headed for the door, but Jacob ran after them. Daddy squatted down so Jacob could talk to him. “Um, can I tell Dr Katie about the baby?”

Daddy looked up to Dad, who just nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, love. That way, you can talk about it if you want to. Make sure she knows it’s a special secret for now, okay?”

“Thanks, Daddy! Love you,and you Dad!” Jacob hugged both men before they left, closing the door with a click behind them, and he ran over to the sofa, kicking his shoes off and getting comfortable. They always talked for what felt like ages, and Dr Katie always let him lie down or cuddle up with a cushion while they chatted and she took notes in her cool blue notebook, a bit like one Dad put his song words in when he was writing.

“Dr Katie, do you want to know a secret?”

She looked at Jacob over the top of her glasses and nodded, smiling at him, clearly excited to see his secret. He jumped up onto the floor in his little socks and ran over, pushing her hair away from her ear so he could whisper and keep the words as quiet as he could.

“My dad’s are having a baby. I think it’s gonna be my sister, but Dad says we don’t know yet cos the baby is too small but I do, cos I’m her big brother.”

“Ah, wow! That’s so exciting, Jacob, congratulations!” He found that a little bit weird to hear because it wasn’t him having the baby, but it was nice to see the news was making her happy like it made Dad and Daddy happy too. Adults were weird sometimes. “And how do you feel about them having a baby? Do you know who is having the baby?”

Jacob nodded and ran to sit back down again, his legs sticking out in front of him on the comfy sofa. He reached out and grabbed the teddy bear that Dr Katie was holding out for him, something he liked to cuddle as he talked about lots of things with her. She was easy to talk to, and she never got cross at him for what he said which was nice. 

“A lady called Shannon is having the baby for Dad and Daddy. The baby is growing in her tummy but when it’s born, she will give the baby to us and we can bring it home. Dad and Daddy can’t have a baby on their own cos you need a lady with an oven in her tummy to grow it.” For some reason, Dr Katie smiled at that, nodding along with him. “I am happy about the baby, yeah. I think it’s gonna be cool to be a big brother, lots of the others in my class have brothers and sisters, so I won’t be one of the ones without one anymore.”

“And are Daddy and Dad happy about the baby? Have you heard them talking about it at home?”

“It’s  _ all _ they talk about!” Jacob exclaimed, sitting up straighter. Seriously, like from the moment they get up to the minute they go to bed, I don’t know how they don’t get bored! Dad’s even stuck a picture on the fridge of Little Blobby, I call her that because she doesn’t even look like she has a head yet, just a blob with a brain in it.”

Jacob still didn't really understand how the baby was going to grow a head, and arms and legs given she was just Little Blobby right now, but maybe it was a special magic oven that Shannon had inside her that was going to help it grow properly. Babies were a bit of a mystery.

“Well, babies take a long while to grow in a lady’s tummy, don’t they, so there’s plenty of time for them to grow properly and look like a proper baby. Are you excited about being a big brother? Have Dad and Daddy talked to you about the things you’ll be able to do when the baby comes, maybe to help them?”

“Yeah.” Jacob looked down at the teddy then, picking at a funny string coming out under its arm. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course you can, Jacob. You know you can me anything in our sessions.”

Jacob sighed for a minute, wondering whether to tell Dr Katie how he really felt. He decided that it must be okay, because a long time ago, he told her about being scared that Dad was going to be die because of his accident, and she helped him realise that although it was scary that Dad had an accident, it was a one off horrible thing, and it wasn’t going to happen again. Maybe he’d feel better if he told her this as well, instead of asking Dad and Daddy and making them upset.

“When Dad and Daddy told me about the baby, I was a little bit sad inside but I didn't tell them.” Jacob stopped talking, that funny feeling in his throat that he sometimes got when he was a bit upset coming up all of a sudden. He hugged the bear tightly to his tummy and looked down at his stripy socks. “I thought they were having a new baby because they didn't want me anymore, and they wanted to have a baby together that they could make their own boy or girl.”

Jacob looked up, and Dr Katie was just looking at him, waiting for him to keep going, so he did. “You know that Daddy is my real dad, he made me with my mum, and he looked after me before Dad, Harry, came along and we met him. I thoughted maybe they wanted a baby that is both of theirs. But Daddy and Dad told me it’s not true, that they love me so much and I’m their big boy.”

Dr Katie nodded at that, smiling a little bit at Jacob like grown ups sometimes did when he said nice things.

“We got the letter from the official people about me and Dad. He adopted me and now it’s real, and I have a new birth certificate that has both Dad and Daddy’s names on it. They said the baby will have one with their names on it, too. And Dad told me I’ll always be his first boy, and I’m really special to him. He said they are not trying to get a new Jacob, because there’s only one of me, but they have lots of love to give in their hearts so they want to give some to another baby too.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Happy, because I have the best daddies in the world and it’s nice that my new baby sister is going to feel lots of love from them like I do. They will give her lots of cuddles like they do to me, and kiss her and read her stories and take her shopping and do fun things. And the baby will be a Tomlinson like us too. I knowed they won’t really forget about me because they have a new baby.”

“No, they won’t, certainly not. Do you think they’ll let you help out with the new baby?”

“Yeah! But I’ve already told them I’m not doing the poo nappies, yuck! Dad and Daddy have to clear up Percy’s poo in the garden and when we take him for a walk so they can do that for the baby too. I can feed her and hold her and hug her though, and love her! I’m gonna love her so good and protect her so no-one can ever be mean to her. You wanna know something?”

Dr Katie nodded.

“I love her already. Daddy says in a few weeks time we can get another picture of her in Shannon’s tummy, and he said she won’t be like Little Blobby anymore. She might have a head and stuff!” Dr Katie laughed at that, and Jacob smiled. “Dad loves babies. When he sees babies, he goes all gooey, so I think when he holds our new baby, he’s probably gonna cry.”

“Lots of people do when they have a new baby, it’s a very emotional thing. Do you think you’ll want to cry too?”

“Nah, Dad will probably cry enough for me and for him! I’ll make sure that Daddy puts tissues on the shopping list for when we go to Sainsbury’s and do the shopping.” He paused and thought for a moment. “And maybe some Wotsits. I like Wotsits and we haven’t buyed them in ages.”

“Ah, I like those too. Now, Daddy did give me a call and he told me you’ve been having some bad dreams lately. Did you want to talk about them?” Jacob shrugged his shoulders, looking back down at his feet again. He’d only had the bad dream a few times, but it did worry him sometimes. Maybe talking about it again might help.

“Um. Well the other night I woke up all scared. My heart was beating really hard in my chest, and it hurted a bit. I got up and went to my Dads’ room, and they were having a special cuddle cos Dad had a bad dream and Daddy was on top of him hugging him and making him feel better-” He stopped as Dr Katie choked on a bit of her drink, and he looked in concern, wondering what to do. “Are you okay? Do you need an ambulance or something?”

“No, but thank you, my tea just went down the wrong way. Sorry, please carry on, Jacob.”

“So after my dream I slept in my Dads’ bed with them, and the dream went away. But it came back again this week.”

“And what happens in the dreams that makes you scared?”

“A monster is in my wardrobe, and the door opens a bit and I can see the big yellow eyes watching me sleep. And it’s got long claws that are around the door, and he won’t let me out. He just sits in there, and in the day time, he’s gone but at night, he’s back and I don’t like it.”

“Okay.” Dr Chandler wrote something down and then got up, grabbing something from her cupboard before she sat back down. “I think the monster might be a little bit because of your worries about the baby. I think there’s a lot going on in your mind at the moment, maybe little worries about the baby and how things might change at home, and it is making your brain think too much, especially at bed time when you’re tired.“ Jacob nodded, trying to understand. “Now. I have something here but it’s only something I give to the really special boys and girls that see me. Do you want to know what it is?”

Jacob took the bottle she was handing over and read the label carefully, sounding out before he spoke. “Monster spray. What’s this for?”

“Well, it’s a really special spray. Before you go to bed, you spray two squirts in your doorway and one in front of the wardrobe. It makes the monsters disappear because it smells so horrible to them, and it makes your room glow in the dark. You can’t see it because you’re not a monster, but they hate it. It’ll keep them away.”

“Wow! Really? That’s so cool!” Jacob looked down at the magic liquid in his hands, feeling amazing that something like this existed. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Jacob. But do you know the other thing that will help to keep the monsters away?”

“What?”

“Talking. Whether it’s to me, or to your dads, you need to talk about how you feel. If you’re worried about the baby, or just a bit nervous, tell them. You know your dads want nothing more in the world than for you to be happy, and to be okay with everything that’s going on. I know they are going to make sure you’re involved all the way when the baby comes, but if you need to, ask lots of questions, okay? They won’t be cross, and it’s really important that they know how you feel.”

“I don’t want to make them angry if I telled them I think they might love the baby more than me.” Jacob’s eyes started stinging and he knew that meant he was going to cry, even when he really didn't want to. He’d accidentally just let his biggest worry slip out and now there was no taking it back. He sniffed and used his t-shirt to wipe his eyes, angry at himself for crying.

“Jacob, they won’t be angry. Lots of children like you worry about things like that when Mums and Dads have a new baby. It’s a normal thing to be worried about, I promise. But I’ve seen how much your dads love you. You’re very special to them, and they have enough love inside them for both and the new baby. You’ll always be their first child, their big boy, and they’ll need your help when the baby comes, and they’ll be so proud of what a good brother you’re going to be. Have you told them you’ve been thinking about this?”

Jacob shook his head. Nope. No way. There was no way he could say this to his dads, it would make them too sad.

“Maybe you should. Perhaps you’d like me to say it to them if you can’t?” Jacob nodded, thinking that sounded like a pretty good idea. “Okay. I’m seeing them next week for their special meeting so I can talk about it with them then if you’d like?” He nodded again. “No worries, I can do that.”

“Can I use my monster spray tonight before I go to sleep?”

“I think that would be a good idea, just make sure you ask your dads first, okay? Did you want to talk about anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, well pop your shoes back on and we’ll go out and see your parents.” Dr Katie stood up and went back to her desk, putting down her notepad while Jacob grabbed his shoes, stuffing his feet inside and pulling the velcro straps across. He’d recently learnt to tie his shoelaces with Daddy but he’d been in a hurry to leave and hadn’t had time to fuss over that, not when he had easy shoes like these to put on. “Ready?”

“Yeah! I got my spray!” He held up the bottle, which was heavier than he thought when he held it up high so he pulled it to his chest, taking special care of it. They walked out and into the corridor, chatting about school and Jacob smiled when he saw Dad and Daddy talking in the chairs by the window again. “Dad, Daddy, look, Dr Katie gave me monster spray to make the monsters go away!”

“Oh cool, let me see,” Dad said, crouching down so Jacob could show off the special bottle while Daddy went to talk to Dr Katie, probably making their next appointment to come and see her. “Oh wow, do you know how to use it?”

“Yep. I put two sprays in front of my door and one in front of my wardrobe, and then the monsters don’t like it 'cause to them it smells bad and it glows in the dark!”

“What a magic thing. We’ll definitely do that before bed, love. Everything okay in there?” Jacob hoped Dad hadn’t seen his red eyes from crying, so he nodded, giving him a quick hug, happy when Dad hugged him back super tightly. He gave the best hugs. “Good. Daddy and I were thinking we might stop at the pub on the way home, get some dinner there?”

“Yes! I love the pub burgers, and the chips are so chunky! Come on Daddy, Dad says we can go to the pub and then you can have a beer!”

Dad and Daddy laughed at that, and Jacob thought it was funny how Daddy’s cheeks went bright red because of what he said. It was true, Daddy loved the beer at the pub, even though it smelled weird. Jacob decided he was just going to stick with his apple juice. It always came in a tall glass and Dad made sure he always got a blue straw in it too. Dad was the best.

“Have fun, Jacob. I hope the monster spray works, and remember what else we said, okay?”

Jacob nodded, and thought about maybe telling his dads in the car about what he and Dr Katie had talked about. Sometimes talking did make it better, especially because his dads were really good listeners. “Okay, see you soon Dr Katie!”

Dad picked him up as they all headed out of the door, Daddy carrying the monster spray by now as Jacob didn't want to risk dropping it on the floor and it going everywhere. He needed it, not the car park! He clutched the bottle once he was in the car and Daddy drove them on the big roads to the pub they went to sometimes, the one with the monkey bars and super cool swirly slide in the garden that he was allowed to go on when he was a big boy.

They went inside, it was a bit dark but Daddy got them a table, and he chose to sit next to Dad, Daddy on the other side of the table. 

“So who’s ready for some food, then?”

“Me!” Jacob roared as his belly gurgled quite loudly. Jacob was sure it must have been thinking about the burger, just like he was.  _ Yummy yummy, in my tummy _ he thought with an excited grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon!


	77. Small Bump.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the scan arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short one.
> 
> More asap, I promise.
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thank you so much for all the support.
> 
> xxx

**July**

Harry stirred in bed, glancing over with a small smile to see Louis still sleeping soundly, the sheet clenched in his hands as he laid on his side, the picture of perfection even in his sleep. Harry looked back up to the ceiling, blinking slowly as he emerged from sleep, his stomach already flip-flopping with the realisation of what today would bring. He felt too restless to stay in bed so he carefully got out of bed, pressing a soft kiss to Louis’ forehead before he pulled on a t-shirt, sneaking quietly down the hallway and downstairs.

Not even Percy was awake thanks to the early hour of the day. He of course woke up when Harry filled the kettle with water, needing a comforting cup of tea and he circled Harry’s legs, wrapping his tail around his ankle as he always did. Harry crouched down, rubbing the dog between the ears, kissing his head quickly before he opened the back door, knowing Percy would need to relieve himself. It was warm outside already, the sun lighting up the world while most people slept.

Harry dunked his tea bag a few times and threw it in the bin, picking up his cup and holding it between his hands as he walked through to the living room, flopping down in their huge but cosy armchair. They all usually preferred to be squished onto the big sofa when it was the three of them, but Harry found it comfortable to drag his long legs up underneath him when he was alone, eyes flitting around the pictures and canvases dotting the walls and surfaces around their home, full of smiling faces, capturing the happiest moments of their lives so far.

Somehow, Harry couldn’t believe that in about six months, there would be a new face to add to those already scattered around in frames. The baby son or daughter would be in those pictures, cradled in his or Louis’ arms, completing their family. He shut his eyes as the two most important people in his life slept upstairs, mind drifting to imagine what the baby would look like… if he or she would have his crazy hair, if they’d have his green eyes… if they’d take on Louis’ temperament, just as Jacob had become so much Harry. He smiled softly to himself at the thought and his heart was pounding heavily in his chest, willing the day away until he could finally get to the moment he’d been waiting so long for. 

There was a little cough in the doorway and Harry leaned forwards, glancing to the doorway of the room to see his not-so-little boy stood there in his pyjamas, rubbing tirely at his eyes.

“Morning sweetheart, you want to come and have a cuddle?” Jacob nodded and walked towards Harry, climbing into his lap without hesitation, curling into a little boy, his head resting on Harry’s chest. It was moments like these that Harry treasured, when it was just the two of them, when Jacob was cuddly. Harry knew it wouldn’t be too long before Jacob got too old to want to do this with him, and the thought hurt too much. “Did you have a good sleep?”

“Yep. I dreamed about my sister and you and Dad.” Jacob’s voice was a little croaky with sleep, and Harry squeezed him a bit tighter before he reached for his tea. The drink had cooled now and Jacob stole the mug from Harry’s hands, having a little sip, loving tea just like Louis had when he was a little boy too. “It was nice. I’m super excited for today.”

“Me too,” Harry confided, grinning to himself again. “I think it’s going to be amazing to see the baby properly for the first time.”

“And she won’t look like Little Blobby right? She’ll have a head this time?”

Harry chuckled, loving Jacob’s way of putting things. “Yeah, love, she’ll look like a proper baby. Look, you’ve got me saying she now, Daddy’s gonna tell me off if I keep doing that! We won’t know if it’s a boy or a girl for a little white yet. When Shannon has another scan in a few weeks, then we can ask the doctors.”

“Okay. Can I ask you something?”

Harry steeled himself, knowing Jacob’s questions could sometimes be quite out there but nodded anyway, mentally deciding if he couldn’t answer it, he’d speak to Louis about it later. “Go on then.”

“Um. Is the baby really gonna be my brother or sister? Cos Daddy is my dad, but you are the daddy of this baby so… is it different?”

“No, love. It’s not different. The baby will definitely be your brother or sister because they’re mine and daddy’s baby, just like you are. You might not have the same daddies, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t family. Remember how we said blood doesn’t make people family, love does?” Jacob nodded, still curled against Harry’s chest. “Well, it’s like that. We don’t have the same blood but it doesn’t mean we love each other any less. I choose to love you, and you choose to love me. That’s how it will be with your baby brother or sister.”

“Okay. So will Daddy adopt the baby like you adopted me so they will be his baby too?”

“Yeah, that’s what we will do when the baby is born. They’ll be a Tomlinson from the moment they’re born, though, just like us.”

“I like that. Then there will be four Tomlinson’s in our house.” He paused again, and Harry could almost hear the cogs turning as Jacob processed things. Harry understood it was a lot for the little boy to get his head around, and he was pleased Jacob was asking lots of questions to get the answers he needed. “So the baby will love me?”

“Definitely.” Harry didn't hesitate in answering that, knowing his new son or daughter would adore their big brother. “You’re going to be the most amazing big brother, Jacob. They’re going to look up to you, and think you’re so brilliant. There’s no way they won’t love you. None at all.”

“Good. Because I love them already, even though they’re only Little Blobby. The baby is like, well, it’s part of you so I love it lots. I can’t wait to see them on the telly today.”

Harry smiled again at Jacob’s naivety. Despite initially deciding not to take Jacob to the twelve week scan later today, they’d changed their minds when he’d been incredibly upset at having to stay with his grandparents. Jay had come up with a good compromise, one that suited everyone. She was going to come along to the scan with them but wait with Jacob outside the room until they knew everything was okay. When they got the all clear from the sonographer, Harry and Louis would bring Jacob in, and he could see his baby sibling too.

“Me too. Oh, morning sweetheart.” Harry caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and Louis walked over, sitting on the arm of the armchair, kissing Jacob’s head, then Harry’s lips, dressed only in his boxers and not bothered by it. “Sorry, did we wake you?”

“Nope. I think I’m too excited to sleep in much more. I guess you two are the same?”

“Yep, I had a dream about my new sister, and then I woked up and heard Dad downstairs so I came down too. Did you dream about the baby?”

“Not really, but it’s definitely been on my mind. Up you get, champ, you can sit on my lap.” Harry pushed himself into the corner of the big chair as Louis pushed his bum into the opposite one, bare legs draped over Harry’s as he pulled Jacob down on top of them, the three of them in a big heap. “That’s better. Got both of my boys now.”

“You think the baby will mind if she’s a girl and we’re all boys?”

“Nah. Remember I was the only boy in my house for a long time, it was just me, Nanny Jay and Lottie, Fiz, Pheebs and Daisy. I liked it, and I bet if the baby is a girl, she’ll like having boys around to protect her.” 

“I will never let  _ anyone _ hurt them, even if it’s a boy. I’m gonna protect them forever, they can always come to me to be looked after.”

Harry and Louis glanced at each other, full of pride for the amazing little boy they’d raised, already a protective big brother over their little baby who still had six months of growing before she could join their family properly.

“Damn right, love. She’s-”

“Or he!” Louis joined in, determined not to push a sex on the baby before they could.

“Alright, Lou, sorry He or she has got three big Tomlinson boys to look out for them, and that makes them the luckiest baby in the world,” Harry said with a smile, pulling his arms around the boys in his lap, his whole world. “Love you both. Can’t wait to have our family grow.”

“Me too,” Louis whispered, meeting Harry’s eyes again, waiting for Jacob to say something equally soppy.

“Is anyone going to make me some breakfast? I’m starving!”

*****

“Is she here yet?”

“Harry, I don’t know. I can’t see through walls, love, and I don’t know what car she drives. Only way to find is to go inside. Ready Mum? Jake?”

“Yeah, let’s go Daddy!” Jacob grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled him across the car park towards the zebra crossing, where he knew he must always cross the road. They waited, watching Jacob as he looked left and right and led them across, dropping Louis’ hand outside the clinic and skipping happily into the entrance. His little eyes were raking everywhere since he’d never been here before and Harry grinned to himself, slipping his own hand into Louis’.

“How are you feeling, boys?” Jay asked, smiling at the sight of her son and his husband all loved up in public like this. It was all she’d ever wanted for Louis, and she still thought that Louis really had chosen the best man in the world to share his life with. 

“I’m nervous, actually. I just want everything to be okay, but I know once I see the baby and that’s everything okay, I’ll be excited and it’ll sink in,” Harry confessed, his tummy still flapping with millions of butterflies that had started as he’d got dressed for the appointment. 

“It’ll be fine, love, be positive. I didn't go with Faye to her twelve week scan-”

“Why?”

“Oh. She, uh, she didn't tell me when it was. Doesn’t matter now. But yeah, I haven’t seen anything like before either so it’s new for me.” Harry looked over as Louis squeezed his hand, resisting the urge to pull his husband into a cuddle. “Oh she’s here-”

“Fuck,” Harry mumbled, heart racing again. “Let’s get checked in and we’ll go and see her. Jake, stand with us, please.”

“Hiya, Louis and Harry Tomlinson, we’re here to meet Shannon for a twelve week ultrasound?” The receptionist smiled at the pair and tapped at her computer, nodding and telling them to take a seat. 

Harry almost dragged Louis across the waiting room over to where Shannon was sat, and his eyes widened when she stood up, revealing a rather sizeable bump already. It was pushing out the front of her pink blouse, and he stepped over, scooping her into a hug.

“Hi! Wow, you’ve… wow!”

Shannon laughed, turning to Louis and hugging him as well. “You can say I’ve popped, I won’t be offended. Seems to have come out of nowhere the past week if I’m honest.” Harry watched as she reached down, rubbing her belly in small circles, and he saw Jacob peeking out nervously from behind Jay, shy as he usually was around people he didn't know.”

“Oh, sorry, uh this is my lovely mother in law, Jay. Louis’ mum.” Shannon nodded and shook her hand with a smile, accepting Jay’s compliments about her easily. “And this- oi, come here, you- this is our son, Jacob. Jacob, this is Shannon, she’s the lady who is looking after our baby for us.”

“Hello.” Jacob spoke softly, looking up at Shannon with trepidation in his eyes. “Are you taking good care of my sister?”

She frowned at that but Harry shook his head quickly, and she understood, realising he would explain later. “Yeah, the baby is in here, safe and sound. You’re a big boy, how old are you?”

“I’m eight! Nanny, can I go and play with the lego over there?” Jay nodded and they all sat down, Harry biting his lip as he eyed Shannon’s belly again, a bit mesmerised. He’d been around pregnant people of course, his stylist had had a baby a few years ago, and pregnant fans were always saying hi to him. But knowing that the baby inside that bump was his son or daughter, it was something he didn't quite know how to comprehend.

“You can touch, if you want to,” Shannon spoke, sensing Harry didn't know how to voice what he wanted. “I don’t mind, look-”

She reached and grabbed Harry’s wrist, pushing his palm flat on the expanse of her belly. He swallowed and allowed himself to feel how the skin was stretched taut, that it was soft and firm at the same time. He knew he wouldn’t feel any kicks just yet but that was the first place his mind went to. He turned around, looking at Louis with tears in his eyes, already overwhelmed.

“Lou…”

“I know, sweetheart. Amazing, isn’t it? Can I?”

Shannon nodded and Louis rested his hand on the other side of her tummy, both parents connecting for the first time with their child. They just stared and stroked her belly for a moment until they let go, taking seats again, holding hands between them. Harry was stroking the back of Louis’ hand, lost in his own little world a moment or two. It all felt so real all of a sudden, and he glanced over to Shannon who was sat opposite him, still a little in awe of the fact she was growing his child.

Jay was sat next to her and made easy conversation about her pregnancy, previous surrogacies and their children, pulling out her phone to show off Louis’ siblings, and pictures of Jacob, Harry and Louis too, which made Shannon smile and coo, constantly rubbing her tummy as she chatted, all of them waiting to be called.

“So how was that? Feeling her bump, I mean,” Louis asked quietly, his striking blue eyes on Harry again. “Did it make feel more real for you?”

“Yeah. It was… shit, it was amazing, Lou. That’s my baby in there, like… my kid, you know? Someone who’s half me. That’s just… it’s amazing.  She’s growing my baby, Lou.”

“I know, sweetheart.” 

“Shannon Hunter to Ultrasound please, Shannon Hunter to Ultrasound.” They all sat up straight as they realised this was it. Harry released a slow breath, carefully getting to his feet to Louis.

“God, this is it, isn’t it?” Louis just nodded and gripped his hand before he stepped away, helping Shannon to her feet. 

“Ready, boys?” She asked, much more together than the pair of them. They nodded and Harry let Shannon lead the way, the three of them walking quietly down the corridor, Shannon a couple of paces ahead of them. Harry’s heart was thumping erratically in his chest, and he squeezed Louis’ hand a little too hard until he pulled away, frowning slightly.

“My hand is actually attached to me, love, kinda need that one?”

Harry blushed, smiling slightly at his husband. “Sorry Lou, not thinking. I’m so nervous-”

Louis pulled Harry to a stop, resting his hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him down a bit, and Harry appreciated the gesture. “Look, it’s going to be okay, yeah? We have to think positively right now. And if, god forbid, things don’t go our way? We’ll try again, yeah?” Harry just nodded, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Shannon had paused, kindly waiting for the pair of them to get themselves together. “Come on Dad, let’s go meet your kiddo.”

“Fuck. Okay.” Harry swallowed and leaned in, kissing Louis quickly before catching up with Shannon, grinning at her. “Sorry for my little freak out. This is just- it’s all new to me, bit overwhelming.”

“I get it, don’t worry. Are you ready now?”

“Yes. Definitely. Let’s do this.” In a sudden move, Harry surged forward and wrapped Shannon up in a hug, her belly pressing against his stomach for a moment and he pulled away, looking down at the slight swell. “They’ll think we’ve got lost, let’s go!”

Louis laughed and they followed Shannon, waiting as she knocked on a plain white door, smiling as a young woman dressed in purple scrubs answered, welcoming them in and sitting them down in front of a desk, Louis and Harry together, Shannon sat to Harry’s right, a hand laying on her belly.

“Hi guys, lovely to see you all. My name’s Amy, I’m a sonographer so I’ll be performing your ultrasound today. Now Shannon, we’ve met before, but if you two could introduce yourselves, that would be great.”

Harry nodded eagerly, jumping in before Louis could draw breath. “I’m Harry, this is my husband Louis. This is our first surrogate baby, we have an eight year old son but I’ve never done this before and I’m really nervous in case you can’t tell.”

There was laughter at Harry’s rambling honesty, and it certainly broke some of the tension, Harry eventually laughing at himself too, watching Amy fill in a few pieces of paperwork in front of her.

“Okay, well, don’t worry Harry, Shannon’s done this a few times, and Louis, you’ve experienced this with your son?”

“Yes. My ex-partner allowed me to attend one ultrasound, when we found out the sex of our baby. But it’s nice to be involved throughout this pregnancy with Harry and Shannon.”

“Excellent. Okay, well Shannon, I’m going to get your bloodwork done first and then we’ll get you on the bed for the scan. Do you want Harry and Louis to be present throughout?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I don’t think I could kick Harry out if I tried, to be honest, have you seen that little face?”

Louis cackled at that, grabbing Harry’s chin and tugging his face around, looking into his excited eyes. He and Harry chatted quietly as Amy drew blood from Shannon for the usual tests they had to run, and he had to admire how Shannon didn't even flinch when the needle pierced her skin, talking about how her pregnancy had gone so far with Amy, although Louis was sure there were a few private things they chatted about as their voices lowered a few times, and neither Louis or Harry were sure they wanted to know the ins and outs if they were honest.

“Okay. I’ll just drop these off, so if you could hop up on the bed over there Shannon and roll up your top, I’ll be right back.”

Shannon nodded and Harry quickly stood, taking her hands as she got to her feet, walking her over to the bed.

“Oh my god, I really hope you don’t think I’m patronising you by helping you out, tell me if I am, I just want to help?”

“Harry, relax, please? You’re being a gentleman and that’s lovely. You can both sit here next to me, come over, Louis.”

Harry turned and smiled as Louis made his way over, dragging two chairs with him. They sat down and all chatted as they waited to Amy to come back, and she did, Shannon rolled up her top, baring her tummy. Harry was transfixed with it, and kept staring, much to Louis’ amusement.

“Okay, if you’re ready Shannon, I’ll get started. Sorry, this’ll be a bit cold.” Harry watched as she shook a bottle of blue gel, squirting a blob onto Shannon’s tummy before grabbing a wand, smoothing it over the expanse of her skin. Shannon shuddered and laughed, making Louis and Harry laugh too, holding hands tightly now, knowing the moment of truth was near.

The monitor was tilted away from them and towards Amy as it always was at first, the woman moving the wand around her tummy, clicking things on the computer in front of her. Harry was watching her face like a hawk, wanting to know if he had to prepare him, and he didn't miss the slight frown that flashed across her features as she pressed the wand further into Shannon’s belly, slipping it from one side to the other side, clicking away.

Harry didn't say anything but glanced to Louis, slightly annoyed to see he wasn’t looking at Amy at all, merely watching Shannon’s belly. Shannon herself was just looking up at the ceiling, and he swallowed, hoping he’d read it wrong. 

“Okay. Um… I just need to go and  grab a doctor for a moment. I won’t keep you too long, if you could just stay there for me, Shannon?”

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be right back.” Amy smiled tightly and quickly stood up, flicking off the screen before she left, closing the door behind her.

“Shit. I knew this was too good to be true, I shouldn’t have got so excited, we shouldn’t have brought Jake-”

“Harry, calm down. We don’t know anything yet. Maybe the dates are wrong, or the baby is measuring big or small. It could be anything. Just… wait, okay?”

Harry could see the strain in Louis’ eyes but nodded, reaching for Shannon’s hand, realising she was all alone. “Are you okay?”

She tilted her head to the side, and Harry’s heart broke as he saw tears shining in her eyes. “I don’t know. I'm sorry-”

“Hey, no. This isn't your fault. We’re here, okay? We’re not going anywhere, love.” Shannon nodded and tightened her grip on Harry’s hand, her belly rising and falling with each of her breaths. They sat silently for the next few minutes, none of them knowing exactly what to say. They’d gone from being ridiculously happy to full of fear, and Harry hated it. He’d had never been in a situation like this, and suddenly, the idea of losing his baby, something he’d already grown so attached to in such a short space of time, was devastating.

They all jumped when the door opened and two people walked in. Amy was there, and by her side was a tall male doctor, someone none of them had seen before. He had on a white coat, and smiled at the three nervous people sat around the bed.

“Hello. I’m Doctor Collins. I won’t keep you a moment, Amy had something she needed to see me about.” They all nodded and watched as Dr Collins took the stool next to Shannon and picked up the wand, turning the screen on and moving it as the two of them pointed at the screen, muttering quiet words Harry couldn’t pick up, no matter how hard he strained his ears. His eyes flicked between the two medical professionals and Shannon’s bump, praying to god it wasn’t going to be bad news. Surely not, not now, when this was everything they’d always wanted.

He sniffed, unable to look anymore and turned, resting his forehead on Louis’ shoulder. He could feel the tension in Louis’ body and wished he could fast forward time, to see that everything was going to be okay. He  _ needed  _ it to be. He kept thinking of his son sat in the waiting room, eager to come and see a picture of his brother or sister for the first time, and at the thought of having to tell Jacob things weren’t okay, a tear slid down his cheek, melting into the fabric of Louis’ shirt, his body betraying his emotions.

“Please, please be okay,” he muttered, Louis’ fingertips digging into his thigh now, the pair of them unable to bear the weight of the unknown anymore. “I love you already… I need you to be okay. Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. xx


	78. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis find out what's happening at Shannon's scan. 
> 
> Later on, they have a much needed meet up with their friends Zayn, Liam and Niall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hugest thanks to all of you for your comments on the last chapter, sorry about the cliffhanger! Really hope you like thre resolution to that... let me know your thoughts please!
> 
> Huge thanks as well to go the amazing Miles ([@80sflicker](https://twitter.com/80SFLICKER)) on Twitter for allowing me use of their amazing manips in this chapter!
> 
> Can't wait to read your comments...
> 
> Come and chat to me on Twitter, I'm [@oneolddirection!](http://www.twitter.com/oneolddrection)
> 
> Enjoy xxxx

“Okay.” Dr Collins cleared his throat and looked at three of them. “I’m sorry that took me a few minutes. I had to make sure my assessment was accurate, and I’m now satisfied that what Amy initially saw on the scan was correct.”

“Right. Uh, can you just tell us, please? Sorry but this is awful-” Harry gripped Louis’ hand tighter again, pleased his husband had voiced the words he knew he wasn’t able to. He knew if he spoke, his voice would come out a wobbly mess and would probably make him finally cry openly, something he was trying to avoid. He wanted to be strong for Shannon, and that meant holding himself together for now, at least until they knew.

“Certainly. Okay.” He turned the monitor and Harry’s eyes stared at the grainy image in front of him. He couldn’t make out anything, and he wished he had a clue what he was looking for, that Jay was in there explaining everything to them. He felt entirely out of his depth and it wasn’t a feeling he liked at all. Louis leaned forwards, his elbows on his knees, hand still grasped in Harry’s. 

He moved the wand slowly and Harry realised he was holding his breath, waiting for the words he was dreading hearing, even if he felt somewhat prepared.

“Here’s your baby.”

It felt like Harry’s world had stopped. He just sat and stared, the words settling strangely in his brain, not the ones he’d expected at all. His baby. His baby was there, alive. He or she was there, on the screen. He gathered some strength and moved his eyes up, gasping at the image on the screen, one he couldn’t mistake at all. There, right in front of him, was his child. A head, limbs… a beating heart. He bit back a sob and covered his mouth with a hand, entirely overwhelmed.

“Oh my god, Lou-”

“I know. They’re there, look. They’re there, and they’re okay, darling. They’re so fucking beautiful- shit, sorry, my mum would kill me for swearing-”

Amy chuckled and smiled, nodding. “It’s okay, very understandable.”

Harry’s eyes darted down to Shannon, grabbing her hand. “Are you alright? God, you did it, my baby is safe… thank you… thank you so much.”

A tear tracked down her cheek then, and she hurried to wipe it away, laughing in an embarrassed fashion at her rush of emotion. “Sorry- pregnancy hormones, but yeah, I’m okay, just so relieved… god.”

“I can’t believe it… look, Lou. They look real, so tiny but so,  _ so  _ real.”

“I assume you can all make out the limbs, and heart on the image?” Everyone nodded, transfixed on the tiny moving human on the screen. “Excellent.” He clicked a few more things and moved the wand slightly down and to the right, pressing another button to fill the screen with a new image.

“And here’s your second baby.”

There was a deathly silence over the room as Harry just blinked, staring straight ahead, letting everything sink in.

“I’m sorry. What? Second baby? What?” Louis’ voice broke the silence, voicing the exact thought in Harry’s head, his thoughts a complete tangle in his mind.

“Your second child, Mr Tomlinson. It appears that the implantation was successful with both embryos. From what I can see here, and what Amy quickly ascertained from the initial scan, Shannon is pregnant with identical twins.”

Harry’s eyes flew to Louis, and they met, just staring at each other for a moment.

“Two babies? Twins… fuck.”

Harry’s voice sounded alien to him, and he still couldn’t compute the fact he and Louis weren’t just having one baby… they were having two. Twins. He was having two children. He’d never even contemplated the fact it could be a multiples pregnancy, and judging by the looks on the faces of his husband and Shannon, they hadn’t either.

“Are you, um… are you okay with this?” Shannon asked, her voice soft and questioning, and Louis jumped in, wanting to calm her nerves.

“Okay? Are we okay- shit, you’re giving us two children! Fuck, this is so amazing, oh my god, Harry! Twins! We’re having two babies, love!” 

Harry felt his bottom lip tremble. Hearing the words from Louis’ mouth suddenly made it more real, and he felt the sob bubble up before he could even control it, bursting noisily from his lips. He yanked his hands back from Louis’ and Shannon’s, covering his face and crying uncontrollably, the fear finally leaving him. Everything was okay. It was more than okay. He was going to welcome two more children with Louis, and nothing could be better than that.

He looked up, wiping his eyes with the edge of his shirt sleeve, not caring he was crying in front of two strangers. “Thank you,” he whispered to Shannon, getting up and leaning over to hug her, not caring he was probably getting the gel onto his shirt. “You have got no idea how- oh god, thank you. This is everything.”

He pulled back and gave her a watery smile, kissing her cheek softly, unable to put into words how grateful he was for what she was giving him. This was unexpected but in the best way possible. 

“Louis-”

He didn't need to say anymore. Before he could barely stand himself up straight, Louis launched himself at his husband, arms around his neck, on his tiptoes as he pressed their lips together, crying by now too. It was a much-needed release of emotion, and Harry just held him tight, allowing himself to be comforted and hugged, celebrating in their shared joy. It was, aside from meeting Louis and Jacob, and getting married, quite possibly the best moment of his life. 

“We’re gonna have three children, Haz. Fuck. Can you believe this? Us! Three kids, twins! Oh my god, identical boys, or identical girls, I don’t even care, this is just- shit, baby, say something, please..”

Louis pulled back and stared at Harry, gripping his forearms tightly, not letting him move. His eyes were flooded with concern, and Harry watched the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed deeply. Louis was stunning, and the thought of watching him cradle his babies in a few months time was so much, Harry finally allowed his grin to emerge, splitting his face open. 

“Two, Louis. Two more children, we’re going to have two more children. Shit! Oh my god- is this really happening? I wanna see them again-” He whirled around, eyes wide as he stared at Amy and the other doctor, ready to plead if he had to. “Can I see them again, please? I need to see my babies.”

Amy nodded and flicked a few buttons, the image slightly different this time as it came on the screen. Both babies were visible, close to each other in Shannon’s womb, and Harry reached out, touching her belly, ignoring the wand and the gel now coating his hand. Louis’ hand rested on top of his, and he just stared at the image, unable to believe what was happening, that this was his life. 

“They’re so beautiful, Lou.”

“I know, love. My mini Harry’s. I love ‘em already.”

“”I’ll print you off a couple of pictures from the scan, we’ll label them Baby A and Baby B so you know which is which. Now Shannon, because this is a multiples pregnancy and more of a risk, we’ll be seeing you more regularly, either here or at your local hospital. Everything looks fine at the moment, both babies are growing as we’d expect, and you’re dating at around twelve weeks and four days. That gives you a due date of... “ Amy paused, flicking open a little booklet she fished out of her pocket. “January 28th.”

“Um, can we get Jake? I want to tell him, and Mum, if that’s okay?”

Harry swiped at his eyes again, mopping up the last few tears as he nodded. “Shannon, is that alright with you?”

“Of course. I’ll wait, uh, well, I’ll be right here waiting.” They all chuckled and Harry grabbed Louis’ hand, pulling him out of the door. They walked down the corridor but before they could go through the double doors and back into the waiting room, Harry stopped him.

“Hey, can we not say anything? Let’s just, um, let them see, yeah?”

Louis nodded, and kissed Harry quickly, moving out of the corridor. Jay looked up at the sound of the doors opening and called for Jacob, holding his hand to stop him running off towards his parents. She didn't react to their red faces, and Harry realised she was probably assuming they were emotional after seeing their child for the first time. She wasn’t wrong, in a way.

“Come here, love.” Harry picked Jacob up and put him on his hip, his long legs bumpiing down against Harry’s thighs as they walked towards the room, knocking a couple of times before they entered. Harry was pleased Amy had cleared the screen, and he left Jacob over, sitting him on his lap next to Shannon, while Jay sat down in Louis’ vacated chair, his husband stood behind her, hands on her shoulders.

“Okay, so everything is fine with the scan.” Amy’s eyes turned to Jacob, perched on Harry’s lap. “Are you the new big brother?”

“Yep! That’s my sister in there,” he said, proudly pointing at Shannon’s slightly swollen stomach. Harry’s heart felt full at how excited Jacob was, and he couldn’t wait to see how his little boy was going to react to the news he was going to have two baby brothers or sisters.

“Did you want to come and help me, then?” He looked to Louis and Harry who both nodded, and Harry let him down, watching him go around the bed carefully, standing next to Amy, clearly fascinated by everything around him. “Okay, well I’m going to use this wand on Shannon’s tummy, this helps us to see the baby. Can you press that button there for me?”

Jacob nodded and reached for the button, bringing the screen to life. There was nothing there yet since the wand wasn’t on her tummy, but she soon reached over, pressing it to Shannon’s skin again. Harry glanced at Jay, wondering how long it would be until she realised what was going on, eyes raking all over the screen in front of her, probably in professional mode by now. 

“And if you hit that button right there….” Jacob looked and nodded as Amy indicated another button, the image from the wand finally filling the screen. “There you go.”

“Oh my god!” Jay’s voice flooded Harry’s ears, and he turned to grin at her, loving how Louis was bent over, hugging her from behind, both emotional.

“What! I don’t get it, what are the things on the telly?!” Harry laughed at Jacob and indicated for him to come around, letting him climb on his lap again. “Someone tell me!”

“Okay, love. See there?” Harry pointed at Baby A, and saw Jacob nod, eyes on the screen still. “That’s our baby-”

“It’s got a head! And legs!” Everyone laughed and smiled at Jacob’s excitement over something so small, and Harry nodded, his arms holding Jacob from leaning over Shannon too much. The poor woman had such patience to still be laid there for this. “Wow!”

“That’s right love, the baby does have a head now. But, um…” Harry tilted his head back, looking to Louis who walked over and crouched next to them, a hand on Jacob’s leg. 

“If you look over there, next to that baby…”

“TWO BABIES?! DAD PUTTED TWO BABIES IN SHANNON?”

“Oh my god…” Harry mumbled, resting his forehead on Jacob’s back, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. 

“We’re getting two babies?!”

“Yes, Jake, two babies.” Louis was grinning, and staring at his son who looked over the moon.

“Wow, it’s like when my favourite things are on buy one get one free in Tesco! Two things when you thought you were only getting one!”

Jay was nearly crying now at Jacob’s candor, and even Harry was giggling, thinking Jacob had made the whole situation even better. “Oh, loves, I’m so happy you for you both, two more grandbabies, I’m so lucky!”

“Well, I’m luckier,” Jacob cut in, hopping to the floor and standing with his hands on his hips, facing his parents and his nanny. “I’m lucky cos I get two sisters or brothers, or a brother and a sister-”

“Well, it’ll be two girls, or two boys, love. They’re identical twins.”

“They will be the same person?”

“Not the same person, but they’ll look the same. You know Lucy and Sophie at school, in Year 4?” Jacob nodded, realisation dawning on him. “The babies will be like that.”

“Okay.” Harry could sense more questions were coming, and nodded to let Shannon know it was okay to clean up her stomach and sit up at last. “So do we have to write their names on them in Sharpie so we know who is who? Maybe on their foot or something so no one else can see it and tell us off.”

“Not quite, sweetheart. We’ll just dress them in different colours and onesies, we’ll be able to tell them apart.”

“Don’t count on it, Lou. It took you weeks to work out which baby was Phoebe and which was Daisy.”

Harry snorted at that, a little pleased to see his husband wasn’t as all knowing as he made out he was from his vast experience with two sets of twin siblings. “Ah, Jay’s letting all your secrets out now, Lou…”

“Shut it, Mother. I’m about to be a father of three, you can’t be mean to me, not today.”

“Not ever! We’re gonna have five Tomlinson’s soon,” Jacob said, still bouncing around the room. He saw Amy holding some photos and ran over, wide eyed again. “Oh wow, are these for me? I can put them on the fridge with Little Blobby’s first one. But why didn't the second Little Blobby have a picture?”

“On an early scan like Shannon had a few weeks ago, one of the sacs can be obscured by another. It’s not uncommon, but now the fetuses are getting bigger, they’re finding their own space inside Shannon’s tummy.”

Jacob nodded but Harry could tell the information had gone right over his head, and he decided he and Louis would sit down later with their son and have a proper chat about it, explaining everything through so Jacob understood.

They all left, everyone clutching a couple of photos, Harry happily paying handsomely for the privilege, and hugged Shannon in the car park, all swapping numbers so she could be in touch with anything they needed to know regarding more appointments. She drove off tooting her horn, and Harry led his family over to the car, getting Jacob strapped in before he got into the car next to Louis, who was driving.

“Nanny Jay, I’ve got a question.”

“Go for it, love.” Harry turned and looked at his shoulder, smiling at Jay.

“How are the babies gonna poo inside Shannon?”

“For fuck’s sakes…” Louis muttered with a roll of his eyes, driving the car in the direction of home.

*

“Are you having a fucking laugh, they’re early today of all days!” Louis shouted as he thundered down the stairs, his joggers slung low on his hips, body still damp thanks to the shower he’d just finished sharing with Harry. He huffed and puffed as he stopped at the front door, pulling it open and grinning at the men gathered on his doorstep. “Lds, come on in.”

“Are we interrupting sexy time, Lou? We can wait outside…” Zayn teased, and Louis sent him the middle finger as he sauntered back into his home, the boys following, kicking off their shoes and jackets, more than comfortable in Louis’ home by now. “Seriously though, Lou. Did we interrupt you and Haz?”

“Nah, I was just in the shower, we’d finished having sex before you got here, don’t worry.”

“La la la not listening! I do not need to know about yours and Harry’s sex life, Louis, how many times-”

“You don’t want to know how I took him from-”

“No!” Liam shrieked before he ran into the kitchen and away from his unembarrassed best friend who was now high-fiving Niall. Teasing Liam was always a priority, and Louis loved it when he freaked out his friend enough to make him run away. Sex was a particularly tricky subject for Liam, and so Louis took great glee in teasing him mercifully about it whenever he could.

“Where’s my Harold?” Niall asked, taking a seat on the armchair, crossing one leg over the other. “Still tied to the bed, is he?”

“No, Niall… I’m here. You look beautiful, Louis,” Harry muttered as he came to a stop next to his husband, ducking his head to kiss him full on the lips, neither of them shy in front of their friends when it came to PDA’s. “Sure you wanna tell them tonight?”

Louis looked up at his husband, nodding slowly. It had been a week since they’d had the amazing news they were going to be welcoming twins into their family in about six months time, and it was only just starting to sink in. Harry had told his family and they’d all cried, everyone unbelievably for the pair, knowing they were going to be amazing parents to the two new babies. Harry had also slipped his sister a list of books to order him from Amazon, all about parenting twins, much to Louis’ amusement. Every night, Harry had been curled up in bed with a book in his lap, post-it noting the important pages, the rest of the book stack on his bedside table.

“Yeah, wanna share the joy, you know?” Harry grinned and pecked Louis’ lips again, resting his forehead against his husband’s for a moment. “I know they’re gonna be happy for us, so it’s okay- oh, help yourself hey, Liam?”

Liam just shrugged and sat down on the sofa with his cuppa and plate of toast, kicking out as Niall stole the top piece from his stack. Judging from the amount of bread sat there, Liam had planned for this eventuality, and with a sigh, extended the plate to Zayn, who took a slice with a smile and nod of his head. Louis and Harry just watched with amusement as Niall grabbed the remote, flicking the telly on.

“Erm, is anyone planning on coming with us to the club or is it just us?” 

Zayn looked lazily over his shoulder at Harry. “We’re coming. Just lining our stomachs first. Besides, Lou’s still half naked, and your hair isn’t ready.”

“How did you know?”

“Really, Harry?”

“Fair point. Let’s get dressed, Lou, then we can head off. Cab’s coming in about an hour so should be about right.”

Louis and Harry were actually fairly quick at getting dressed, knowing they wanted to bring up the pregnancy before they left the house, the news still private between themselves and their families. However, to the pair of them, the boys were part of that close-knit family circle, and they trusted them implicitly with this news. Louis was positively throbbing with excitement as they descended the stairs together, the photos hidden away in their back pockets… Baby A in Louis’ pocket, and Baby B in Harry’s.

“Lads… oi, take your eyes off Love Island and pay us some attention please!”

Niall grumbled, muting the telly before Liam snatched the remote, turning the television, seeing something in Louis and Harry’s eyes that warranted their full attention.

“Alright. So we have something to tell you lads, and it goes without saying it goes no further than these four walls okay?” They all nodded and leaned forwards, waiting to find out what was going on. “Harold?”

“Fuck, okay. Um…” Harry fumbled and just glanced helplessly at Louis who shrugged, making Harry blurt it out. “We’re pregnant?”

“Are you asking us or telling us? You’re looking good with it, H,” Zayn teased again, and Louis rolled his eyes.

“Shut your face, Zaynie. Haz and I… we’ve got a surrogate, and she’s pregnant. We’re gonna be growing our family in about six months time.”

“Oh mate, I’m so happy for you!” Liam cried as he stood up, hugging Louis as Niall got his feet, pulling Harry into a hug, Zayn waiting for his turn with both men. “Please tell you have pictures…”

“We do.” Louis reached into his pocket and pulled out the scan photo of Baby A, handing to a now surprisingly tearful Niall. “Due end of January next year.”

“Oh, she’s bloody beautiful!” Niall said, frowning when he aught Louis and Harry staring at him with a funny expression on their faces. “What did I say?”

“Just weird you said it’s a girl, that’s all. Jake’s convinced he’s having a sister, absolutely adamant and we can’t change his mind.”

“Um, mind if I ask whose… uh…” Liam blushed slightly, unsure how to word the rest of his question.

“Whose come we used-”

“Oh Jesus… Louis, must you be so fucking crude?” Harry chastised, face in his hands as Louis was his usual blunt self. “Mine. I’m the baby’s biological dad, but that doesn’t matter really.”

“Course it doesn’t, just wanted to be nosy really.” All three men were cooing over the photo then, so Louis raised his eyebrows to Harry, knowing it was time to surprise them with the real bombshell.

“Oh, don’t leave this one out lads,” Harry announced loudly, holding up the other scan photo to his chest. They all turned and smiled, none of them clicking until Niall did a double take, staring agog at the second photo.

“That’s the same baby, right, Haz? I mean…”

“Nope. It’s twins. Harry and I are having twins. Identical twins, actually.”

Silence reigned, and Louis took Harry’s hand, knowing how emotional announcing this news made his husband. 

“Twin Tommo’s… oh god, you guys aren’t gonna sleep for the next five years!” Zayn laughed as he pulled Louis into another hug. “And if it’s girls… fuck me, they’ll probably never be allowed to leave the house until they’re 18…”

“21, Zayn,” Harry chuckled over Niall’s shoulder as Liam stood holding both pictures, admiring them both with glassy eyes.

“Harry, Louis… I honestly can’t think of two people who deserve this more than you two. I know I’m being far too sappy but I don’t care. You’re such a great couple and now babies? Two?! Honestly, I’m so fucking happy for you both.” Liam yanked them both into a cuddle, Niall and Zayn quickly extricating the pictures from his hands before they got squashed.

“Do you have one of both babies in the same picture?”

Harry nodded and darted to the drawer, pulling out the final scan picture they had. Niall snatched it and again, Louis and Harry stood back as the three men stared at it, a bit in awe.

“Wow. It’s just… wow. They’re gonna be fucking gorgeous babies.”

“Yep. I just hope Hazza’s dimples and green eyes. Jake’s physically so much like me it’d be amazing if the babies were like him.”

Louis glanced at the clock then and swore, realising the cab was about to arrive. “Let’s get ready to go, shall we? I’ll grab your coat Harold..”

He went into the hallway, reappearing a few minutes later to find all four men huddled around Niall’s phone, mumbling things under their breaths.

“What are you doing? Hurry up, we gotta get out of here.”

“Sweepstakes.”

“Sweepstakes? On what?”

“On our kids.” Harry rolled his eyes but Zayn shoved his shoulder, mock indignation on his face.

“Don’t fucking roll your eyes, Haz! You’ve put a hundred quid on them being boys, and their weights!”

“Tut tut tut, Harry. Using your kids for financial gain already…” Louis said as he walking over, glancing over the screen. 

“I’m sorry, Louis, I didn't-”

“A hundred quid on girls, 5lb 2oz and 4lb 10 oz,” was Louis’ only reply, leaving all four men laughing, all ready to have a much needed night out.

*****

“You know what? I fucking love you guys,” Harry slurred as he threw back another cocktail down his throat. He’d cried off beer earlier in the night, and now Louis was buying him cocktails with ridiculous names, such as ‘Sex on the Beach’, ‘Screaming Orgasm’ (making Harry blush when Louis had hollered that over the bar to the bartender), and even a Sloe Comfortable Screw, which had made Harry press Louis up against the bar, snogging him senseless, more than turned on to hear those words from his husband’s lips. “You’re like, the bestest friends ever, yeah?”

“Fucking love you Harold, not just me boss, but me bestie too. Fuck, I’m a lucky fucker.” Niall was clutching his third Guinness of the night, and Harry winced at that thought of downing that much of the strong ale. 

”Oi oi, I wanna do a toast,” Louis said, banging his beer glass on the table a few times to get their attention, accidentally grabbing that of the a nearby table as well at the din. “Is anyone fucking listening to me?”

“I’m always listening to you, Lou,” Harry simpered, practically in Louis’ lap now, not caring at that eyes rolls of his friends. “Go on, baby.”

“Thank you darling. Best husband ever-” Louis dipped his head, kissing Harry again until Zayn nudged him with his elbow.

“Oi, stop getting distracted with Harry’s lips and spit it out-”

“I don’t spit, I swallow,” Louis muttered with an over-exaggerated wink, Liam just shaking his head, given up long ago on trying to stop Louis being sexually explicit, especially when he was as drunk as he was. “Anyway. Before Zaynie rudely interrupted me-”

“Fuck off.”

“No, you.” Louis smiled sweetly before clearing his throat. “Okay. So I just wanted to toast to my babies. I fucking love ‘em already and they’re only teeny tiny like little grapes or something-”

“A lime, actually, Lou-” Harry cut in with a proud grin on his face.

“Alright, Doctor fucking Spock. Either way, they’re bloody gorgeous and amazing. I can’t wait to meet ‘em, and hold ‘em and kiss ‘em all over their tiny little baby faces.” Louis smiled to himself at the thought, holding his beer aloft, ignoring the fact some sloshed out of the glass as he did so. “To my baby Tomlinson’s, mini Harold’s who are complete our little family. To my babies!”

“To babies!” the other four cheered, nobody really paying the drunken group much attention thank god. Harry threw back the rest of his cocktail and swallowed it down just in time for Louis to grab his face and kiss him, making it far too dirty for their public setting, only pulling away when a song he loved blasted through the club.

“Oh come on, hubby, this is our jam- dance with me!”

Harry sighed and let Louis drag him to his feet, the pair soon losing themselves in the music, Louis merrily grinding his ass against Harry’s crotch, knowing he was riling his husband up, neither of them caring too much. 

“I fucking love you, you know,” he shouted into Louis’ ears, smiling as an arm came up and around his neck, holding him close to Louis. “I know I’m fucking drunk right now but I do. You, Jake and the babies are my fucking world. I’m gonna sort out this tour and make it so I can be home with you guys for a while. Not missing my babies grow up, no fucking way.”

“Totally agree,” Louis muttered, whirling around in Harry’s arms, chests pressed together now. “Want you around, want you at home with us. All five of us-” Harry’s lips captured Louis’, and they soon lost themselves in their kissing in the middle of the dancefloor, ignoring the song and the other bodies moving around them as Louis’ hands slipped down the back of Harry’s jeans, grabbing his arse. “Shit… I’m gonna find Z…”

“Lou… don’t smoke, please-”

“Just one? Pretty please?” Louis batted his eyelashes at his husband, knowing he was a sucker for Louis when he behaved like this. “Come on… I won’t kiss you ‘til I’ve had a drink afterwards…”

“Fine. But you are kissing me. Now, please.” Harry puckered his lips and Louis grinned, pressing their lips together clumsily. “Go on then, hubby.” He slapped Louis’ arse as he moved away, watching him tumble out of the door with Zayn towards the outdoor smoking area, walking over to sit back at the table himself.

“Alright, H?” Liam asked, checking Harry was okay. Harry rested his head on his forearms, nodding quickly, trying to take a few deep breaths. He didn't get drunk often, so when he did, it went quickly to his head and he wasn’t always a fan of the feeling. “You feeling rough?”

“Mmmm. Lou.”

“I’ll get him. You okay on your own? I’ve lost Nialler somewhere…”

“Fine, just get Lou, please?”

Liam nodded and disappeared, leaving Harry alone for a few moments, jumping when a hand pressed against his back.

“Hey, it’s me. You not feeling well?”

Harry shook his head, and Louis frowned, grabbing his phone and ordering an Uber on his app. “I’m taking you home, babe. We can come out again.” Harry slumped against Louis, letting his eyes shut the noise in the club preventing him from dozing off. Louis’ phone pinged a few minutes later, and he carefully stood up, pulling Harry gently to his feet. “Come on, you. Li, tell the other lads goodnight, okay? Sorry-”

“Don’t be. You go take care of Haz, let me know when you’re home.”

“Will do. Cheers for tonight, Li!”

Harry let Louis guide him out of the club and through the crowds, the cool air hitting their bodies as Louis caught sight of their ride home. Before they could walk too far away, Harry grabbed Louis’ wrist and slammed him against the wall, kissing the life out of him, pushing his tongue into Louis’ mouth, making him moan loudly. Harry held Louis’ body against the brick surface as his leg pressed against Louis’ semi, rubbing against it.

“Fuck- thought you weren’t well?”

“I’m horny, and I wanna get my husband home so he can fuck my brains out. We can go back in if you really want, or-”

“Taxi!” Louis shouted, pushing Harry off him and taking him by the wrist, practically running the pair of them to the waiting car, both incredibly eager to get home. He pushed Harry into the backseat first, blurting out their address as they pulled seatbelts on, eyes dark as they looked at each other again. The drive was quick, and Louis paid the driver, thanking him as they stumbled up the driveway, fumbling with his key before they fell into the hallway, Louis jumping into Harry's arms, Harry pushing him against the front door. "Fuck-"

"What do you want, Lou? Ah- god..." Louis' hand came down between their bodies and grabbed Harry's erection, turning him on as Louis took charge, weaving his fingers through Harry's hair as they kissed again. "Louis-"

"Take me to bed, Harry. Now."


	79. There You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis enjoy the aftermath of their drunken night out with the boys.
> 
> Things get real a few weeks later as the Tomlinson's meet with Harry's team to discuss several developments, and the arrival of a surprise bit of mail throws Louis and Harry for six...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry it's been a while but I've had a lot on and now I'm poorly, boo. But here we go with another installment, I won't leave it so long next time.
> 
> I said on Twitter I'm considering ending this fic soon as Part 1 and restarting it with Part 2 which will carry directly on, as this is getting quite long haha. Do let me know your thoughts about that idea. I don't want to leave this family behind by any means, I love them too much so let me know if you'll stick with it.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter, let me know your thoughts as always in the comment, they really do make my day, especially when I'm laid here in my sickbed haha.
> 
> Xx

Harry panted, leaning back against the front door as Louis kissed him, taking whatever his husband wanted to give. He was still pleasantly drunk from the night at the club with the other boys, and it niggled somewhere in the back of his mind that he should text them and reassure them all he’d got Louis home safely, but he was too focused on what Louis’ lips were doing, and where his hands were roaming to truly care at that moment.

“Lou- Louis… do me a favour?”

Louis pulled back, arching a brow at his husband as he licked his lips, pondering the request for a moment. “Sexual or non sexual?”

Harry gestured down towards his very obvious erection and grinned wickedly, pushing Louis’ hand against it. “What do you think?”

“Fuck- okay. What do you want?”

Harry leaned in and whispered something quietly in Louis’ ear, pleased when he turned straight on his heel and ran for the stair, barely escaping tripping up the first stair as he looked back at Harry, wiggling his arse for a moment as Harry continued to palm himself, not quite able to believe Louis was going along with it.

If he was honest, it was something he’d wanted for a long time, but he’d never quite worked up the courage to ask, really unsure if it was Louis’ thing or not. He knew Louis would never judge him and would happily say ‘thanks but no thanks’ if he wasn’t into it, but still, the idea of being rejected over something he wanted sexually didn't sit easily with him. He pushed away from the door and threw his jacket off, leaving it on the floor as he stumbled into the living room, smiling at the sight of their sleeping dog in his basket by the fireplace.

He moved through to the kitchen and ran the tap, letting the water get cold before he filled up two tall glasses, knowing he and Louis would wake up with terrible hangovers unless they had something to drink before they went to bed to dilute the alcohol flowing through their systems. As much as Harry liked to drink and how it made him feel in the moment, he hated being hungover, especially when he knew Jacob was being dropped home fairly early so he wouldn’t have a chance to properly sleep it off.

He looked out of the window into the darkness of their garden, fingers gripping at the edge of the worktop. He shut his eyes, and let thoughts fill his mind; things he wanted to do to Louis, things he wanted Louis to do to him. He loved that they were completely back on track now, that their lives were moving forward, and that they had so much to look forward together. Finally telling the boys about their babies had made it seem real, scarily so in some respects, but at the same time, Harry could only wish the next six months or so would fly by so he could hold his sons or daughters in his arms.

“Harry…”

The sweet sound of Louis’ raspy voice washed over Harry’s ears and he turned around slowly, unsure if he was ready for the sight he was about to be greeted with.

He wasn’t.

Louis was stood in the doorway of the room, Harry’s silky black monogrammed shirt hanging from his shoulders, entirely unbuttoned and baring his torso to Harry, who was a little shocked at the sight. Harry’s eyes travelled down from where they’d lingered on the ‘ _Styles_ ’ on Louis’ chest, down the curve of his waist, the little tummy that Louis still loathed but Harry adored, down to his curvy hips.

“Oh my god, Louis… you look- fuck. Oh my god.”

His eyes took in the sight of his lacy blue knickers wrapped around Louis’ body, how they stood out against his tanned and golden skin, how his hard cock was barely concealed by the lace, the waistband being stretched out by the head of it. Harry swallowed heavily. His feet felt like they were stuck to the floor, and he could just let his eyes drift down, eyeing Louis’ golden thighs, and quickly imagined himself buried between them, exactly where he wanted to be right now.

“You… you like it?”

Harry didn't speak. Instead, he finally got control of his feet and walked over, stopping just in front of Louis, reaching out to touch the shirt, tugging Louis closer with it. Louis came easily, his hands coming up to rest on Harry’s chest as they stared at each other, drunk on love and each other, how much they wanted each other.

“What do you want?” Harry breathed out, wanting to make any and all of Louis’ dreams come true tonight. Although they’d still been having sex lately, the stress of the impending scan and everything being okay with the baby ( _babies now_ , Harry noted mentally with a quick smile) had kept everything quite vanilla, Harry bottoming more often than not as they kept it in bed, in the early hours of the morning or late at night, quiet so they didn't wake Jacob up. Now, though, Harry was willing to do pretty much anything Louis wanted.

“You, I want you,” Louis hurried to answer, tugging on Harry’s hair to pull him down into a filthy kiss that Harry loved from the beginning. He could still taste Louis’ beer on his tongue as it drifted into his mouth, their bodies rocking together as they kissed. Harry couldn’t stop his hands sliding down the planes of Louis’ back and landing on his lace covered arse, grabbing handfuls of it, squeezing and touching, enjoying how Louis felt under his hands.

Louis was moaning into it, and he pushed back into Harry’s hands, his own fingers nimbly unfastening the buttons of Harry’s shirt, eager to get him naked. Harry allowed it, still caressing Louis’ arse as they kissed, biting and nibbling on each others lips, not holding back in their noises since they were totally alone. There was nothing nicer than having the house to themselves and being able to indulge in something a little different to sex in bed.

“Harry… want you to fuck me.”

“Good. I was planning on it.” Harry knew his own voice was ridiculously low with desire right now, and he stepped back slightly, letting Louis get to his knees and work the button of Harry’s jeans open, pushing them down his long legs, pulling them off and leaving him in just his tight boxers. Louis smirked and nuzzled into Harry’s erection hidden behind his underwear, sucking lightly on the damp patch where Harry was already leaking precome, too turned on at the sight of Louis dressed in underwear. Harry’s underwear.

Now, though, Louis was on his knees, and Harry knew what he wanted. Louis was always generous with his blowjobs but Harry suddenly couldn’t recall the last time he’d had one. He slipped his hands down, pulling out his cock and running the wet tip across Louis’ lips as he just sat back and waited. Slowly, Harry fed his cock between Louis’ lips and moaned loudly as Louis sucked on it, hands on Harry’s thighs as he rocked his head back and forth, getting used to the stretch of his lips, how Harry tasted and felt on his tongue.

“Shit, Louis… look so good like that,” Harry murmured, fighting to keep his eyes open, to commit every second of this to memory. It felt filthy, having his husband on his knees sucking his cock in their family kitchen, but Harry couldn’t move, and even if he could, he wouldn’t. Louis’ mouth was wet and warm, and he could only imagine how his arse was going to feel around his cock. Harry licked his lips, watching as Louis snaked his hand around his back, dipping into his knickers, eyes fluttering shut. “Oh god, you’re so fucking filthy-”

Louis allowed his eyes to drift open for a second, blearily blinking up at Harry as he continued to work his mouth over him, running his skilled tongue around the head just as he knew Harry loved, and reached with his free hand to grab one of Harry’s hands and put it on his head. He stopped moving his head and just kept looking at Harry, waiting for him to realise what he wanted and when Harry did, he groaned as he threw his head back, fingers tangling more roughly in Louis’ hair.

“You sure?” he rasped out as he looked back down, and Louis nodded, his mouth full of Harry’s cock now. Harry licked his lips and tugged Louis forward by his hair, making Louis gag but he didn't stop. Louis’ fingertips were digging into his thighs but it just spurred Harry on, making him force his cock deeper into Louis’ throat, watching as his length disappeared between his husband’s lips over and over.

Louis was moaning and spit was trailing down the sides of his mouth as he struggled to keep up with Harry, but neither of them wanted to stop. Harry knew that Louis knew their signal, a tap on the thigh, but he wasn’t giving in yet. Harry relished in the warmth of Louis’ mouth, the wondrous things his tongue was doing around the head but he soon pulled all the way out, watching as Louis caught his breath, licking his lips for any come that was lingering.

“Why’d you stop?”

Harry practically keened how fucked out his husband’s voice was, and he let his hand drift down, stroking Louis’ cheek before he answered, his body throbbing with desire to be inside his husband. “Because I’m gonna come if you keep doing that, and I’d much rather spill my load inside your arse if that’s alright with you. Get up, love.”

Louis stumbled to his feet and pressed his palms to Harry’s chest, steadying himself for a moment.

“Here. Want you to fuck me here.”

“Shit, really?”

Louis just nodded and turned around, bending over against Harry and rubbing his lace covered arse against Harry’s erection, making his husband groan. Louis wasn’t often like this so Harry was enjoying every moment while it lasted. He quickly grabbed Louis’ hip and shuffled the pair of them forward until Louis’ torso was pressed against the kitchen table. He ran his cock between the crack of Louis’ cheeks, teasing them both, knowing they both wanted a lot more than that.

“Harry, fuck me, please-”

Harry shuddered at the way Louis was begging him and he reached his hands down, cupping Louis’ full cheeks, parting them gently for a moment before he let them go, listening to Louis whining and pleading for more. He took pity on his husband and hooked a finger under the elastic running around the bottom of Louis’ bum cheek and pulled it to the side, exposing Louis’ entrance to him.

He fell to his knees and licked a stripe over Louis’ hole, mewling at the taste of his husband while Louis pushed back, practically riding Harry’s face as he opened him up with an eager tongue and delving fingers, the scene absolutely obscene but neither man cared. All Harry wanted in his drunken haze was Louis, and he knew Louis wanted this just as much from the way he was crying out, thumping the table with his fist as Harry’s tongue pushed inside, his fingers stretching him out, using only spit as lube.

“Please-” Louis begged, his voice cracking on his words as he looked over his shoulder at Harry, who looked up, well aware his face was a mess from where he was buried between his husband’s arse cheeks. He nodded and slapped Louis’ arse quickly as he stroked himself a few times, using precome to spread over his length, hoping it wouldn’t hurt Louis too much to not use lube. Louis rocked back as Harry ran the wet head of his cock over his hole, and it was that action that caused Harry to pop inside, both men crying out at the unexpected feeling.

“Shit, fuck, Louis-” Harry bent over Louis’ body and gripped the table while Louis just laid there, taking everything Harry gave him. Harry tilted his upper body back enough that he could see himself buried inside Louis, and he groaned, hands clamped on Louis’ hips to hold him in place. “Feel so good, baby-”

“Harder, Harry- need it, please-”

Harry just nodded even though Louis couldn't’ see him, and he drew his hips back until his cock was barely inside him before he slammed forward, ramming his cock deep inside his husband. Louis shouted out Harry’s name as he did so, and that just made Harry want to do it over again, the lace of Louis’ knickers grazing his thigh with every thrust. It felt even dirtier knowing Louis still had the underwear on, and soon, Harry had found a rhythm that satisfied the pair of them. His thrusts were rough and fast, his hips snapping back and forth as he fucked Louis relentlessly, and he looked over at Louis’ knuckles going white as he gripped the edge of the table, holding himself in place.

“So good for me, baby,” he purred, leaning down and licking a stripe down Louis’ spine, smirking as it glistened under the kitchen lights. They’d never really fucked in here before but now Harry had visions of doing it over and over again, of christening every part of their house they hadn’t yt had a chance to. “I’m close, Lou, are you?”

“Fuck, yeah- wanna come untouched-”

“Shit, please-” Harry loved the idea of making Louis come just from just his cock, so he bent his knees slightly, angling up slightly so he could hit Louis’ prostate with every thrust. Louis practically screamed the first time Harry hit his spot, and he smirked, keeping up his rhythm, watching Louis try to buck back against him, pressing Harry as far inside as he could get, making them both one. Harry loved that they could have the filthiest sex in the world like this, but by tomorrow morning, things would be soft and loving once more. His marriage really was perfect, and it was all thanks to the man in front of him, giving him everything he had.

“Fuck Louis, you’re so fucking _perfect_ , I- uh god, gonna come- I fucking want you forever, want to fuck you forever-”

“Want you to, need you-” Louis blurted out, rocking back again, and Harry nodded, chasing his own orgasm now. He allowed a litany of dirty words and those of love to tumble from his lips as pushed over and over again into Louis’ body, Louis’ hand coming back to sit on top of Harry’s on his hip keeping them linked even more.  “Harry!”

Louis came with a cry of Harry’s name, shooting across the edge of the table, some come dripping onto the floor and it was that which finally pushed Harry over the edge, making him come with a grunt and a hard thrust into Louis, filling him with his come. Louis exhaled heavily and slumped against the table while Harry struggled to keep himself upright, legs shaking as he came down from his orgasm. His cock felt wet and warm inside Louis, and he was reluctant to pull out, liking the sensation too much.

“You okay?” he asked as he pressed kisses to Louis’ sweaty back, bringing Louis’ left hand to his lips and then kissing his wedding band. “Didn't hurt you, did I?”

“No,” Louis mumbled, shaking his head as he spoke. “Felt so good. Missed being fucked.”

Harry chuckled softly and pulled out, hissing at the sensitivity of his spent cock. He quickly pulled the knickers back over Louis' bum, smirking at the sight of his slightly red cheeks encased with the light blue lace again, something he knew he'd want to happen again, and preferably soon. Louis pushed himself to a standing position, and turned, collapsing straight into Harry’s waiting arms. He kissed Harry’s chest, over his tattoos and sighed heavily, exhausted.

“Carry me to bed?” he muttered and Harry nodded, arranging their bodies so he could pick his husband up bridal style, ignoring the wetness down the back of Louis’ thighs as he did so.

“Of course, baby. I love you, Lou.” He looked down to his husband who was nestled in his arms, a hand against his chest, head resting on that. “So beautiful.”

“Love you too, my Hazza.” Louis’ words slightly slurred with delirium thanks to the alcohol and sex they’d just indulged in, but Harry knew he wouldn’t have him any other way. To him, Louis was perfect, and he wouldn’t change a damn thing.

"Oh, and Lou? Think you need to keep those knickers now, they look far better on you than they do on me..."

*****

A fortnight later, Harry woke up in Louis’ arms, smiling to himself as he felt Louis running his fingertips up and down his spine, goosebumps following his path. He nuzzled further into Louis’ neck and inhaled the scent of his husband, one that was so familiar to him he could probably pick it out of a thousand if it was put in front of him.

“Morning, darling,” Louis murmured into the early morning air, a stream of sunlight coming in through a crack in the curtains. It was the first week of August, and summer was finally out in full force in the UK. Even better, Jacob and Louis were now on Summer Holidays from school, and they were making the most of their together.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry mumbled, voice low and still addled with sleep. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, actually. Got a bit hot, can’t believe how nice it is.”

“Me neither.” There was silence for a moment as they laid in each others arms, basking in the warmth of the morning and the early peace and quiet. “You heard Jake up and about yet?”

“Nah. We did have a late one last night cos of the film, I reckon he’ll still sleep for a bit yet. Are you still okay about him coming along today?”

Harry nodded and tilted his head back, looking up at his husband, shuddering under Louis’ touch. “Yeah, of course. My team understand that he comes first, and no one is about to have him, so he has to come with us. He’s old enough to sit quietly and let us do what we need to do.”

“I know, I just… I don’t know. I guess I don’t want them thinking of us as a burden-”

“If they did, they wouldn’t be my team anymore, trust me,” Harry quickly cut in, keen for Louis to know that his priorities always laid with his husband and son above and beyond anything else. “But seriously, it’ll be fine, Lou. We’ll take the iPad and he can just sit and play on that while we talk. Once we tell them about the babies, they’re going to ask about the plan, you know that, right?”

Louis sighed and nodded. They’d spent a good while discussing what they wanted to do about the surrogacy and announcing it and had finally come to a joint decision they were happy with. Harry was adamant that their minds wouldn’t be changed by the team at the meeting later on, and Louis felt calmer because of it.

“Yeah, love. I think as long as we make our position on it clear, then they can’t argue, right? I mean, it’s not just us and the babies we’re protecting, it’s Shannon too.”

“Exactly. Her safety and health has to come first. And to be honest, I really don’t want the paps following us even more than they are now. If we keep it quiet like we want to, then we might be able to get to a few baby shops without arousing too much suspicion.”

Louis just chuckled and shook his head, knowing how keen Harry was on the idea of finally being able to shop for his twins. It didn't matter to them that they didn't know the sexes just yet, and they still hadn’t made the decision about whether they wanted to find out at the next scan whether they would be Tomlinson boys or Tomlinson girls. Harry knew it wouldn’t matter either way, but they’d make that decision together nearer the time.

“You just want to shop til you drop, and don’t even bother denying it.”

Harry just shrugged and pushed his leg between Louis’, not caring it was a little too hot and sweaty to be doing that at the moment. “I’m denying nothing, Lou. I tell you, those babies are probably gonna have better wardrobes than me and you put together.”

He watched as Louis nodded along to that, knowing it was entirely true.

“Louis?”

“Hmm?” Louis peered up at Harry, smiling softly at him. Harry loved how Louis was in the morning, and that fact he was the only one who got to see him like this, all sleep-rumpled and vulnerable.

“You know I love you so much? Like… I say it all the time, but I do. More than anything. You’ve been so amazing to me, and Jake, through everything. I can’t wait to have these babies with you. You’re always there for me, Lou, and I hope you know how much that means to me.”

“You’re there for me too, you know. I’m always gonna need you, Haz. What’s made you all soppy this morning?”

Harry just shrugged, pulling Louis into another tight cuddle, his foot running up and down Louis’ bare calf.

“Just needed to make sure you know that you’re loved. Because you are. You support me in everything, coming with me today means a lot, even if it’s just a silly little meeting. You’re just… you’re everything to me.”

Louis smiled and pulled Harry into a kiss, their bodies pressed together. They kissed slowly for a short while, grinding a little bit and making the most of having a bit of quiet time together, only eventually breaking apart when a little scratching noise came at their bedroom door, following by a muffled whisper and then a knock. Harry smiled and pulled back, adjusting himself in his boxers before he created a space for their son as Louis called for him to come in.

Jacob crawled onto the bed in just his little black boxers Louis had bought him the other day, proclaiming his other pants were for little boys, and now he was nearly eight and a half, he needed proper boxers like his dads. He’d taken to strutting around the house in them as often as he could much to Louis’ exasperation, but Harry thought it was cute how much he wanted to be like himself and Louis.

“Sorry. I tried to make Percy be quiet but he wanted to see you…” They all looked as Percy jumped up on the bed, making himself comfortable at the end over Louis’ feet. “I slept late, and my belly is really hungry.”

“Mine too, love,” Louis agreed, and as if on cue, his tummy made a loud rumble that made all of them giggle. Harry looked across at his boys, his little family, and settled back happily on his pillow at the thought that by this time the following year, there would be five of them in the bed together, that they’d be a family of five, six if you included Percy, which Jacob always did.  “Did you have a good sleep?”

“Yeah, I dreamed that I was a famous football man and I lived on the moon.”

Neither Louis or Harry knew what to say to that so they just smiled, letting Jacob chatter about it for a while as he ran his little fingers over Harry’s tattoos, a little habit he had whenever they were cuddled up. He often did the same thing to Louis as well, and both men thought that Jacob would probably want his own ink when he was grown up. Louis wasn’t sure he liked the idea, but Harry always reminded him that once Jacob was eighteen, they wouldn’t have a lot of say over what he did, much to Louis’ chagrin.

Louis stretched and sat up slightly, leaning on elbow to look down at his son. “You want to come and help me make pancakes, love?”

Surprisingly, Jacob shook his head and buried closer to Harry, wrapping his arms around his neck. Louis just nodded and got up, slipping on a t-shirt before he headed downstairs, Percy hot on his heels hoping for some breakfast. Harry allowed Jacob to snuggle for a bit longer before he pulled away, wanting to make sure everything was okay.

“You okay, Jake?”

“Yeah… I’m a bit nervous about today. Do you think your team will like me?”

Harry smiled softly, knowing there had been something on Jacob’s mind, and he was proud of his son for opening up. “They’ll love you, they really will. But remember, it’ll mainly be me and Daddy doing all the boring talking, so don’t worry too much, okay? I thought you could take the iPad and watch something or play a game while we do the boring bits? But I’ll give you a tour of the building, for sure.”

Jacob seemed happier at that idea, and after making Harry promise not to leave him alone, he hopped out of bed and ran downstairs, still only in his underwear as Harry followed him, using an old headscarf to keep his hair out of his sweaty forehead. He walked into the kitchen as Louis was singing away to some Ariana Grande song on the radio, a plate of pancakes already sat in the middle of the table. Percy was tucking into something hideous looking in his bowl, and it all felt very domestic.

“Want me to get the syrup and berries, Lou?” Harry called, and Louis nodded, sliding the final pancakes out and onto the plate in the middle. Jacob waited patiently for both of his parents to join him at the table before he spudded the top one, popping it onto his own plate before he drizzled syrup over it, ignoring the fruit that Harry had laid out. “Fruit on the next one, okay?”

Jacob nodded around a big mouthful of pancake while Louis prepared his own. Harry extended his leg, wrapping his foot around Louis’ ankle as they ate together. The only noise in the room was the clinking of cutlery on plates, and Percy’s tag on his collar clinking against his ceramic bowl on the floor. It was a pretty perfect family scene, and Harry’s mind filled with happiness once more, still finding it hard to believe at times that this was his life, and that no one could ever take it away from him.

*****

“Wow, it’s huge!” Jacob exclaimed as they pulled up to the building where Harry’s management team worked at, and he held Louis’ hand tightly as they crossed the busy car park. Cars were moving around everywhere as executives, press staff and recording artists milled around, coming for various reasons. A few people waved at Harry as he walked inside, and Jacob stood on his tiptoes next to him, curious about everything his dad was doing.

“What’s that book for?”

“It’s a visitor log, love. We have to sign in so people know we’re here. Um… like at school you have the register, well, here, they have this.”

Jacob nodded knowingly, understanding now. He watched Harry scribble down _Harry Tomlinson_ with the date and his team name, before adding _Louis Tomlinson_ underneath it, repeating the same information for his husband. Before Harry could add Jacob, the little boy tugged at his arm, getting his attention again.

“Can I write my own name?”

Harry shrugged and nodded, knowing Jacob’s handwriting was neat enough to read so he lifted him up, letting him carefully write _Jacob William Edward Tomlinson_ in the box. When he was done, Jacob replaced the lid on the pen and ran off to Louis, while Harry snapped a quick photo of their names, thinking it was too cute not to. He smiled at the receptionist and headed over to where Louis and Jacob were stood in front of a bank of lifts.

One of the metallic doors slid open and they went inside. Jacob stood by the panel of numbers on the wall and looked up at his parents, waiting to be told which button to press.

“Floor number 12, love,” Louis said, and Jacob pushed the button until it lit up, sending them hurtling up the twelve floors in a matter of seconds. They stepped out and Jacob’s eyes widened in awe, taking in the plush surroundings around him. It was opulent, that was for sure, and Harry always felt it was a little over the top if he was honest. He sat down on the sofa and Louis sat behind him while Jacob walked around, having a lookabout. Harry knew Jacob wouldn’t touch anything so he kept an eye on him but let him take a look, wanting his son to be familiar with his world.

After just a few minutes wait, one of the wooden doors at the end of the corridor opened and a tall and rotund man stepped out, sweat patches evident on the fabric of his shirt. Harry stood up, recognising him and Louis followed suit, quickly calling for Jacob, who buried himself into Louis’ side, shy at the prospect of confronting a room full of strangers.

Harry took the lead, leading his boys into the room and settling down on one of the two available chairs, pulling Jacob onto his lap as Louis sat beside him, smiling at a few familiar faces around the table, as well as some new ones. The staff on his team seemed to change quite a lot besides the core members, and Harry sometimes struggled to keep up as he avoided coming in here unless he absolutely had to.

“Before we start, let me just make some introductions so everyone knows everyone else, if that’s okay?” The team around nodded, understanding this was for Jacob’s benefit. “Everyone, most of you have met my husband Louis, and this is our son, Jacob.” Jacob gave a shy wave then, and Harry’s heart flooded with pride, letting Jacob slide his hand into his own. “Jacob, do you want me to tell you who everyone is?”

Jacob quickly shook his head and the adults smiled, understanding it was probably a bit overwhelming for the young boy.

“If you want to use the iPad, it’s in Daddy’s bag and you can go and sit over there-” he pointed to a blue sofa but Jacob shook his head, cosying up against Harry. “You can stay here, too. That’s fine, love.”

“Okay, well it’s lovely to meet you Jacob, it’s nice to put a face to the name as your dad talks about you a lot.”

Jacob practically glowed at that statement from Bob, one of the higher ups in Harry’s team, and Harry appreciated him making the effort in making Jacob feel included.

“I understand you had something to share with us, and we also had something to discuss with you as well in relation to touring the new album. By the way, we’ve been incredibly proud of how well received the album has been so far. In terms of streams, it’s really peaked on Spotify and Apple Music, and has held steady at the top of the iTunes album chart for over a month now which is great news.”

“Amazing,” Harry muttered, feeling ridiculously proud that an album made entirely of love songs for his boys had been accepted so well by the public, to the point where it was still topping charts long after its release. Harry was already looking forward to touring it and playing the songs live, and he was excited to see what the team were going to say about that. “Do you want to go first, or shall we?”

“I think if we do your things first, then we can get to the more official business afterwards?”

Harry looked to Louis who nodded, and they linked hands. They both felt slightly nervous about telling Harry’s team their special news since it would be the first time they’d told anyone outside of their trusted family and friends, but at the same time, they understood this needed to be in order to protect everyone and to allow it to be managed correctly.

“Okay, so. Um. Well.” Harry’s eyes darted back and forth, well aware of the eyes of everyone in the room on him, and suddenly his mouth felt dry. He wasn’t sure how to break the news so decided to just blurt it out, knowing he’d only fumble over his words even more if he thought about it too much. “Louis and I are having a baby.”

“Babies, Dad! There’s two babies, remember? Did you forget already?” Jacob’s excited voice cut through the silence, and Harry could see everyone’s jaws drop at the news as Jacob giggled, patting Harry’s cheek softly with his palm.

“Okay, Louis and I are having babies. Twins, identical twins, actually. We have a surrogate, and she’s about fourteen weeks pregnant with our babies. We thought it was best to tell you so that it can be dealt with by you guys as and when.”

“Wow, congratulations, Harry and Louis. And to you Jacob, big brother! That’s wonderful news. And the babies are due when?” One of the women at the table, Lisa, Harry thought her name was, was jotting things down in a big notepad, wanting to iron out the details.

“End of January,” Louis said with a proud smile, squeezing Harry’s hand gently. “Although they could be much earlier because it’s twins, but either way, hopefully no earlier than the beginning of next year.”

“And do you know if it’s girls or boys?”

“We don’t know yet, and we’re not sure if we’re going to find out or have a surprise. But, uh, Louis and I have had a chat and we’ve decided that we don’t want to make the pregnancy public knowledge. Shannon, our surrogate, has signed appropriate confidentiality agreements with the clinic we used, and we trust her. We want to protect Shannon and our children, so if it’s okay with you, we want to keep it under wraps until the babies arrive safely.”

“That’s fine, Harry. We appreciate you keeping us in the loop this time.” Harry blushed slightly, knowing they were referencing his wedding, and the fact he hadn’t told them a thing until he and Louis had tied the knot and had been married for a few months. “Obviously, if there is a threat of anything leaking, we will let you know and do our best to keep it under wraps, but the usual stuff… be careful not to be spotted going into baby shops and so forth to keep the rumour mill under control.”

“Speaking of baby shops,” Louis began, making Harry turn to look at him. “Is there any possibility you’d be able to arrange for us to go to some after hours so we can start to look at baby things together? We have a nursery to plan for our children, and we don’t want to have to send out our family every time we want to buy something.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged, Louis, no problem. If you contact us when you’ve decided where you want to go and when, we can sort that out for you. You have our email, yes?”

Louis nodded, as did Harry. Harry smiled as Jacob slid off his lap and walked over to the sofa and the iPad, clearly bored by the adult talk now. They turned back to the table and focused on the job at hand.

“Okay, well if it’s okay with you, we’ll move onto the next topic?” Everyone nodded, and one of the young men clicked a button, making a projector turn on and bring up some information on a screen at the end of the room. “We have been looking at the tour, but I’m assuming you won’t want to be away from home once your babies have arrived?”

“Definitely not. I won’t be looking to tour next year at all, I want to be at home with Louis and our children, bonding as a family.”

Everyone nodded, understanding entirely.

“Okay, that’s fine. In which case, we’ll need to rearrange a few things. But at the moment, the plan would be to get you on the road from mid-September to perhaps the end of November. We’d look at a European and Asian tour at this point, perhaps save the America part of the tour until the following year when you’ll hopefully be recording new material.”

Harry swallowed, not quite knowing what to say. He knew that this would a possibility, especially with the imminent arrival of his babies on the horizon, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. The idea of being away from his family for months at a time didn't sit easily with him at all, and he knew there was no way Jacob could be out of school for extended periods like that. He looked to Louis who was just looking at his lap, clearly running things through in his mind.

“Would I get any breaks in between stops? To come home, I mean? I hope you understand that something like this will be hard on my family.”

“We do, but Harry, unfortunately touring is in your contract, and now we have a shorter time scale to work with. We would look at a two week break between the European dates and when you would fly to.. Japan, I believe it is, for the start of the Asian leg of the tour. Of course, we’d be happy to accomodate flights for your husband and child around school holidays and things…”

Harry nodded, feeling his shoulders become tight with tension.

“Um, I’ll have to go home and discuss this with my husband, if that’s okay? It’s just a lot to-”

“It’s okay. This is your job, Haz, and I don’t want to hold you back. I know it’s going to be difficult, I don’t doubt that, but… we’ll have the whole of next year together, yeah? With our lovely newborn twins, and that’s going to be amazing, but until then... the fans deserve a little bit of you too, I don’t want to be selfish.”

Harry’s heart practically melted at Louis’ selflessness, and he pulled him into a hug, hoping he wouldn’t get too emotional in front of his team as he usually did. “Louis, if you don’t want me to do this, I won’t-”

“I don’t want you to do it, no, but I understand why you have to. Me and Jake can come and join you whenever we can, but love, we can’t be out of work and school for that whole time, do you understand that?”

“I do. Shit, I’m gonna miss you both so much, and the babies-”

“The babies will be fine, love. You can give Shannon your number, and the teams number in case something happens, but it’ll all be fine.” Harry smiled and leaned in, pecking Louis’ lips lightly. “Please. This is what you live for, I know how much you love touring, singing those songs you wrote for us. It’s about time I let you go and be Harry Styles for a while.”

“I like being Harry Tomlinson best of all, though,” Harry reminded him softly, only just loud enough for Louis to hear, and they hugged for a moment.

“Sorry to interrupt, gentlemen-” One of the men, Sean, looked a little sheepish to interrupt but Harry smiled kindly, realising he and Louis had got lost in each other for a moment.

“No, it’s fine, sorry. So in theory if I did this, what’s the itinerary going to look like?”

They stayed in the office for another hour or so while Harry’s team ran him through the possible layout for the tour, where he’d be going, and exactly how long he’d be away for. Jacob had got bored halfway through and Louis had taken him out to the kitchen area down the hall, finding some squash and a biscuit for him, returning quietly to the room. Jacob hadn’t wanted to go back to the sofa and had sat on Louis’ lap, writing things on a notepad one of the kind ladies in Harry’s team had given him. Harry smiled when he looked across and saw Jacob was writing his own song lyrics down, and he hoped the little boy would bring them home with him.

They left a short while after, Harry’s team promising to be in touch to finalise the tour, but Jacob was quiet when they left, smiling and waving but not letting go of Harry’s hand as they walked out of the building into the warm summer air.

“You want to go for a milkshake or something before we go home? We haven’t done that for ages, might be nice?” Harry asked as he made sure his family were safely in the car as he strapped his own seatbelt on. “Jacob?”

There was silence in reply, so Harry turned around, frowning at his son.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“I wish you didn't have to go away,” Jacob mumbled, tears pooling in his eyes. “I mean, I’m a big boy and I get it, but I still wish you could be at home with me and Daddy forever.”

“Oh love, so do I. More than anything. But once the babies are here, I won’t be going anywhere for a long time, okay? I’m sorry I have to leave, I really am.” Harry’s heart broke slightly at Jacob’s upset, but at the same time, he knew he’d warned Jacob this might be coming, although that didn't make it any easier to face. “Look, we’ve still got the whole summer ahead of us, yeah? You, me and Daddy. You can come and help me rehearse like before, and I’ll make sure to get some time off to come home too, I promise.”

“Can we do some fun family stuff then before you go?”

“I had a few ideas actually,” Louis piped up, nodding for Harry to start the car. “How about I tell you about them over milkshakes?”

“Yeah okay, Daddy, can I have a chocolate one?”

“Only if I can have a vanilla one!” Harry called out, indicating and pulling out into the traffic towards town, holding up a hand to thank another driver who let him out.

Louis scoffed, shaking his head as he turned the air con in the car on.”Vanilla. Honestly, how boring…”

“You like vanilla sometimes, Louis, don’t lie.” Harry arched an eyebrow at that and Louis smirked, knowing exactly what Harry was hinting at. “Vanilla for me.”

“Fine, Mr boring. Vanilla for you and chocolate for my boy…”

“And caramel for Daddy!” Jacob shouted and laughed loudly as he heard Only Angel filtering through the car speakers, playing on Capital radio. “Dad, Roman’s playing your song again!”

Harry laughed and smiled across to Louis, who started singing along. Ever since they’d paid a visit to the studio to see Roman a long while ago now, Jacob had assumed it was only Roman who was the resident DJ and that he played all the songs, all day, every day. He got especially excited when any of Harry’s songs played, and was already singing along loudly, dancing away in his chair.

“I’M JUST HAPPY GETTING CHEESE STUCK IN BETWEEN MY TEETH, AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!”

*****

They arrived home quite a few hours later to a very excited Percy who was running around their legs in circles, keen to get out and about after being stuck inside while the Tomlinson’s had been out and about. Jacob had unlocked the back door and run into the garden with his dog, grabbing Percy’s favourite ball. Louis and Harry headed out to the patio and sat down together under the parasol, letting it shield them from the intensity of the sun for a while.

“I thought I’d make curry tonight, if you two fancy that?” Harry asked, and Louis nodded, pushing his sunglasses up onto the top of his head now he could look out over the garden without being blinded. “Good, I got everything for it when I went shopping yesterday, Jake can help me too if he wants.”

“Sounds good. You didn't mind me telling you to go for it in that meeting, did you? The tour, I mean. I just didn't want you to think I don’t want you to go or whatever-”

“Louis, honestly, of course I didn't mind. I can’t believe you’re so okay with this if I’m honest. I’m not sure that if the roles were reversed here I’d be so cool about it.”

“Cool? I’m practically sobbing inside at the thought of not seeing you for months, Haz, but I also get that it’s your job, and it’s important to you. I wish I could keep you locked up here forever but I can’t. I’d also rather you do this now rather than leave me alone with our three kids next year, I’m not sure I’d cope-”

“Hey, never. I won’t do that, Lou. I want to be home with you and the babies, and Jake. Like you say, this might be the best way, for now at least.” Louis nodded and let Harry kiss him lightly, both feeling relaxed now they were back at home. “Do you want another drink? I want to grab the suncream for Jake, and a hat as well.”

“Yeah, we could all have some water, please.” Harry nodded and walked inside, getting the jug from the fridge and pouring out three glasses before he took them outside, sitting them down on the table before he disappeared back inside to the hall, rifling around the drawers out there for a baseball cap for Jacob.

He saw there was a pile of letters on the doormat and picked them before he headed out, hat and suncream in his other hand.

“Jacob! Come here, love.”

Jacob listened and ran over, thanking Harry as he shoved the baseball cap down on his already sweaty head, standing still as Harry coated him in suncream. Jacob whined about it until Harry reminded him how careful he needed to be in the sun, and he even applied some to Louis while Jacob watched, showing him it wasn’t just him who needed to wear it. Harry then let Louis put some on his skin, the two enjoying themselves a little bit too much so Jacob ran off, back to Percy who was panting in the sun.

“Don’t let him get too hot, love,” Louis called, and Jacob nodded, flopping down under a tree and Percy soon joined him, the pair reclining on the grass. “What you got there?”

“Oh, the post… here’s your bits.”

Harry handed over a small pile of envelopes while he tore into the ones addresses to both himself and Louis, smiling still at the sight of _Mr L and Mr H Tomlinson_ on the front of their envelopes, even if the contents did mean they had more bills to pay. Harry was sure the novelty of being a Tomlinson was never going to wear off.

Louis had been a bit quiet for a few moments so Harry looked up, a little curious to see what had kept his husband’s attention for so long. What he saw, though, surprised him. Louis was pale and looking down at a piece of paper clenched in his hand. Harry set his own letters on the table and turned his chair slightly, facing him.

“Louis? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Louis just shook his head, his jaw tense as he finally looked up to Harry. Harry saw what could only be described as some sort of fear in his husband’s eyes.

“Louis, what is it? You’re scaring me, love.”

“This letter… it’s from, um…”

“From who?”

“It’s from Faye.”

Harry frowned, trying to place the name. He knew he’d heard it before but in his panic, every modicum of sense was flying out of his head. “Who?”

“Faye, Harry. Jacob’s mum. She wants to meet us… well, you, apparently.”

The bottom fell out of Harry’s world then. He knew that now he had legally adopted Jacob, she had no say over what happened with her son, but still, the idea of facing Jacob’s birth mother, Louis’ ex-girlfriend, filled him with a certain dread. He swallowed and reached for the letter, scanning it quickly before he met Louis’ eyes again.

“Oh. Umm ... what does she want?”

He looked up, biting his lip as he and Louis locked gazes for a moment before they looked over to their little boy, carefree and happy as he laid in the grass, stroking Percy’s head between his eyes.

“I have no idea.”


	80. Supermarket Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth about Faye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried quite a bit writing this. I'm sorry. It's been in my head for a while this is where this storyline was heading, so it had to happen. The good things will be back next chapter, I promise.
> 
> I hope you, um, enjoy, I guess?! As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments.
> 
> C x

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Harry looked over into the traffic, indicating and pulling out when there was space to do so. “Yes, Louis, will you stop freaking out? I know you don’t really want to see her, but there must be a reason she wants to meet now, after so long. It’s not like it can change anything, right?”

Louis sighed, shaking his head as he stared out of the window.

“No, I suppose not. The adoption is all finalised, and she didn't contest it. I guess I just want to know what she wants now, after all this time. Is it money, or to meet you, or what?”

“Well, we’ll find out once we get there. Sat nav says it’s just over half an hour away, so just try and relax, alright? I know this can’t be easy for you, but we’re together, and that’s what matters.”

Louis’ stomach turned over as he pondered the question that had been on his mind since they’d received Faye’s letter requesting to meet just a week ago. “Do you think I should have told Jake?”

“Not for now, no. Maybe if there’s a need in the future you can, but at the moment, let’s just find out what she wants and go from there.”

“What would I do without you, huh? You really are the calm in my storm.” Louis reached out and took Harry’s hand in his own, resting it on Harry’s denim clad thigh. “Thank you, for always dealing with my crazy and being such a good husband and daddy.”

“Ah, I’m a natural, what can I say?” 

Both men burst into laughter at that, and already, Louis felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. They’d left Jacob with Anne and Robin while they were heading to meet Faye, and they’d both spoken to their parents about it and what it could mean. Jay had been very apprehensive, having known Faye from before and how she had left Jacob with Louis as a newborn, but Harry had been the voice of reason, telling her his reasons he thought they should meet.

To be honest, Louis was proud of how well Harry had taken the news that Jacob’s biological mother wanted to meet. The letter had come entirely out of the blue, and while Louis had been ready to refuse her request, Harry had calmed him down as always and made him see sense. The letter had contained an address and a time, and Louis had put it to the back of his mind until this morning, waking up early. He’d left a sleeping Harry in bed while he’d crept downstairs, sitting and reading the letter through again until Jacob had emerged downstairs, bouncing around and eager for his day with his grandparents.

The traffic was light, and Harry watched the sat nav carefully as they drove around the unfamiliar streets. It appeared it was a residential area, and Louis looked out of his window, wondering how Faye had done so well for herself as to afford a house here. It wasn’t as big as his and Harry’s place, not by a long way, but it still seemed a very affluent area. He was silent as Harry drove, and both of them were looking out for the place they needed to be at. They seemed to drive around in circles, and Louis thumped the dashboard in frustration, wishing they could just arrive and get it out of the way.

“Lou, calm down. Let me just fiddle with this, and we’ll look again, okay?”

Louis exhaled and nodded, again grateful for Harry’s calm presence next to him. Harry pressed a few buttons on the sat nav and it zoomed in, showing that they were just around the corner. Harry slowed down and as the sat nav spoke and told they’d arrived at their destination, Louis stuttered, unsure what to do and if they were in the right place.

“What- this can’t be right?”

Louis reached into the glovebox and pulled out the letter, both of them checking the address was right before he frowned again, trying to work out what was going on. 

“Louis, I… oh god.” Harry had gone pale, and he took the car out of park, driving up the driveway and pulling into a nearby car parking space. He shut off the engine and turned in his seat, taking Louis’ hand. “Look, we have no idea what’s going on until we get in there and find out, okay? Let’s not assume anything until we know. Do you want to go in, or do you need a minute?”

“I think I need a minute… I can’t believe this. What the hell is she playing at?”

Harry stayed quiet, and Louis just stared at the big building in front of him, watching other people come and go as he contemplated whether or not he actually wanted to go in and find out what was happening. Harry was running his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand, a grounding gesture that Louis really needed, and he tried to calm his mind from his myriad of thoughts, trying to make sense of everything.

“You ready?” Louis turned to Harry and shook his head, even though he knew it was something that he had to do. Harry lifted his hand to his lips and kissed it for a moment before he let go, getting out of the car. Louis stayed where he was as he saw Harry round the car, eventually pulling open his door. Louis reluctantly climbed out and into Harry’s arms, his heart starting to beat more rapidly now he knew this was happening.

“Harry, I’m scared. I don’t understand why we’re here, or-” his breath hitched for a moment, and he pressed his lips together, trying to push back the flood of emotion he could already feel bubbling inside him. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I know. But we have to, love. We have to go and see what’s going on. I’m here, I’ll be holding your hand the whole time. We have to do this, as Jacob’s fathers.”

Louis nodded and watched as Harry locked the car door behind him, and together they set off across the car park, hand in hand. Harry chatted away about the pictures Shannon had sent them of her growing bump yesterday, both of them marvelling how big she’d got already. She was already seventeen weeks, and Louis felt like the pregnancy was flying by. Before he knew it, he and Harry would be welcoming two new children into their family, and they would be complete.

The automatic doors slid open in front of him, and Louis stepped inside, the smell of antiseptic and something else filling his nose straight away. He looked around, seeing numerous bunches of flowers, a nice waiting area, and a number of staff bustling around. There was a very calm atmosphere around, and Louis appreciated the fact Harry had taken them off towards what appeared to be a reception desk, an array of leaflets in stands along the counter, and a kind looking older lady sat behind it.

“Hello, gentlemen, welcome to Heart to Heart Hospice. Can I help you?”

“Uh, I hope so,” Harry began, his voice nervous. Louis looked up, seeing if he could read anything in the woman’s expression. “We were given this address by someone named Faye Holt, and were asked to meet her here?”

“Can I take your names?”

“Louis and Harry Tomlinson. It’s, uh, it’s my husband Louis who has the appointment.”

“Okay, just wait a moment and I’ll find out where you need to go.” With a small smile, the woman got up and disappeared into the office behind, leaving Harry to turn to Louis, placing his hands on his shoulders. Louis looked up into Harry’s eyes, face full of confusion, heart thudding in his chest.

“What’s going on, Haz? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Let’s just… let’s wait and see, okay?”

Louis nodded, but looked up when he heard footsteps. The woman was stood around the desk now, and had a small badge pinned to the waistband of her trousers.

“If you’d like to come with me, I’ll take you to the correct room.”

“Thank you.” Harry began walking and tugged Louis along beside him, and together, they quietly walked through the corridors. It was fairly quiet in the building. There were what was clearly medical personnel in scrubs, nurses in smart dresses, as well as other staff members wearing lanyards around their necks. Louis couldn’t fathom why he was here, and soon realised they’d stopped outside a wooden door, the woman hovering outside.

“I’ll let you go inside. Faye is waiting for you.”

“Thanks very much, we appreciate your help,” Harry said, holding out his hand and shaking the woman’s hand. She disappeared, and Harry turned to Louis again, still holding his hand. “Are you ready, darling?”

“No. I don’t fucking know what’s going on, Haz, I really don’t. I don’t want to go in there and find out.”

“We have to, love. There’s a reason she asked us to come here. You need to do this, for you, and for Jacob.”

Louis nodded and clenched his jaw for a moment. He reached for the handle, and he was grateful for the fact Harry hung back as he rapped his knuckles on the door gently. He heard a faint noise from within so pushed down the handle, opening the door. In front of them was a brightly lit room, the walls were pale pink and it looked cosy. With a gulp, Louis stepped further inside, towards the armchair and sofa area he could see to one side.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure struggling to get to their feet, and he looked at Harry, who just nodded encouragingly. The figure turned towards him, and Louis thought he was going to be sick. 

“Faye? Oh my god.”

“Louis… I… it’s so good to see you. Come closer, I won’t break.”

Louis swallowed heavily and took a few steps closer, eyes raking all over the woman that was clearly Faye, the mother of his child, but at the same time, he barely recognised her. Where once stood a healthy, vibrant woman who he’d enjoyed the company of and slept with several times now stood a shadow of a person, sunken cheeks, frail, pale and entirely bald.

“Jesus, Faye…” Louis couldn’t help but reach for her, pulling her gently into a hug. He grimaced as he held her back, feeling every rib under the soft cotton of the t-shirt she was wearing. She rested her head on his chest, and Louis felt her exhale, physically slumping against him. He felt her shudder and pulled back, quickly guiding her over to the chair she’d stood up from and watched her bruised hands pull a ratty blanket over her lap. “I don’t want to ask but at the same time…”

“I understand you’ll have questions, Louis. I do. And I want to give you the answers you deserve. I just… I needed to do this before-” her voice wobbled, and she bit her lip, looking down into her lap before she looked back at up at him, tears swimming in her eyes. “Before it’s too late.”

Louis nodded, and sat down on the sofa next to her, Harry quickly taking a seat next to him, grabbing Louis’ hand.

“Uh, first of all, this is Harry, my husband. He’s Jacob’s father now, as you know. He’s, um, he’s wanted to meet you for a while, but…”

“This has come a bit of a shock,” Harry admitted, looking pale and stunned by the sight in front of him. “It’s lovely to meet you at last. You look a lot like Jacob, I always thought he was completely Louis but I see some of you in him as well.”

“Well, that’s kind, thank you. I don’t deserve your kindness, either of you, but I appreciate that. How is, uh, how is Jacob?”

“He’s good, really good. But we can talk about him later, I think we need to talk….” Faye nodded and Louis looked back to Harry, who just nodded. “Faye, what’s going on?”

“I’ve got terminal breast cancer, Louis. I was diagnosed five years ago, had a mastectomy, and they thought I’d beaten it. It came back this year, and it’s spread. Everywhere.”

“Shit.” Louis swallowed, unable to comprehend the deluge of information being thrown at him. “Fucking hell, Faye. Why didn't you tell us before?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to know me. But I had to see you, I had to tell you what’s going on before I didn't have a chance to anymore. I don’t have long left, Lou. I live here now, in the hospice. They’re keeping me comfortable, it’s a nice place.”

“I’m so sorry,” Harry whispered, and roughly wiped at a tear that had fallen. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Nobody does. There isn’t a lot you can say,” Faye admitted, reaching for a paisley headscarf, fumbling to fix it on her head. “Damn thing-”

“Here, let me.” Harry quickly got up and crouched in front of her, putting the headscarf on with gentle hands, and Louis’ heart felt like it would burst. “There, you look lovely.”

“Thank you. So now you understand why I didn't contest the adoption when I received the paperwork..”

“I do. But… why didn't you tell us sooner, Faye?”

“There was nothing you could have done, Louis. Nothing. The doctors tried everything, but the chemo was making me so sick. They said it wasn’t working, and I decided to put a stop to it, to try and enjoy the time I have left.”

“We could’ve helped, we’ve got money-”

“No. No, I would never have asked you for that. It is what it is, Louis. I’ve come to terms with it, I’m at peace with the fact I’m going to die. I had to see you, though, before I passed, I needed to know about Jacob, that he’s happy, and he’s okay.”

“Did you want to see him?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted honestly, fiddling with the blanket in her lap. “Does he know about me?”

“He knows he has a mum,” Louis said, reaching for his phone, suddenly wanting to show off some pictures, knowing Faye must need to see her son. “I’ve never hidden the fact you exist. But as for anything else… to him, he has two fathers and that’s it. He doesn’t see that he’s any different from any other kids. It’s not that I pretended you didn't exist, but his life is just us.”

“I understand. I made that choice eight years ago when I left him with you, Louis. And he’s okay?”

“He’s great. He’s honestly the best kid in the whole world,” Harry began, never shy when it came to talking about his son. “I’m so grateful that he and Louis came into my life. I’m taking good care of them, I promise.”

“I don’t doubt it. I’ve seen you on television with Jacob, and your social media… you look happy. When did you get married?”

“We are happy. Uh, we’ve been married about a year and a half now,” Louis replied, turning his wedding band around on his hand. “It all happened quite quickly with us, but when you know, you know.” Faye nodded and smiled at them, wincing as an obvious bolt of pain hit. “Are you okay, do you need something?”

“No, it’s fine. Just constant pain, you think I’d be used to it by now.” Louis nodded and sighed, wishing there was something he could do. “So, Jacob’s eight and a half now? Where is he while you’re here?”

“He’s with my parents,” Harry started, watching Louis add a few photos into a new album on his phone as he spoke. “He’s quite close to them, he loves being with them when he can. My mum loves being a grandmother, she’s taken to it really well.”

“Good, Jacob deserves to be surrounded by people who love him. I’m glad you found them, Harry.”

“Me too.” There was silence for a moment, and Louis handed over his phone. “Oh my god… look at him, he’s got so big.”

“I know. Not sure where he gets that from, but yeah, he’s amazing. There’s loads of photos in there, take your time.” Faye nodded, and Louis reached for the box of tissues on the table in front of them, seeing tears already pooling in Faye’s eyes as she looked through images of her son. There were photos of them on tour with Harry, on holiday together, at Christmas, and finally, she came to one with Shannon, Jacob pointing and grinning at the bump.

“Uh…”

“I want to tell her, Haz.”

“Of course.” Harry squeezed Louis’ hand and nodded, letting him talk.

“That’s Shannon, Faye. She’s our surrogate. We’re expecting twins next year. Jake’s going to be a big brother, and he’s so excited.”

“Oh Louis, that’s just… that’s amazing, I’m so happy for the pair of you. Are they yours?”

“No, they’re mine. But obviously Louis is adopting them as soon as they’re born, they’ll be Tomlinson’s, like me, Lou and Jacob. We don’t know if they’re boys or girls yet, we’ll find out in a couple of weeks when we go for the scan. Lou, do you have any pictures of the scan?”

“Yeah, just…” Faye handed over the phone with a shaky hand, and Louis accepted it, quickly looking for a photo. He smiled when he saw the photo of his unborn children and showed it to Faye. “There you go. Feels like so long since we saw Jake’s ultrasound, doesn’t it?”

“It was years ago, Louis,” she said with a small smile, and winced again, grabbing onto the arm of her chair to ward off the pain. “Gosh, sorry.”

“No, don’t be. Is there anything we can do, shall I get a nurse or something?”

“No, honestly, this is normal. It’s fine. Tell me more about your son.”

Louis felt a lump in his throat at the fact she’d referred to Jacob as his and Harry’s son, not her own, despite the fact it was true. She’d given up her rights to Jacob, but nothing could change the fact that genetically, she was very much linked to the little boy he was raising with his husband. He sat back as Harry started to speak eagerly, talking about what Jacob had been up to at school, the things he’d been learning, and about their dog and how Jacob was completely taken with their pet.

Faye listened with a serene smile on her face, and Louis realised after about an hour of regaling her with pictures and stories, she was tiring. 

“Look, we should let you rest. You’re tired, and this has been a lot, for you and for us. I want to leave you my number, and if you need anything, at any time, I want you to call us, please?”

“Mine too, I’ll help however I can,” Harry cut in, supporting Louis as always.

“Thank you, both of you. It’s more than I deserve. And about Jacob… I want to leave it up to him. I know you’ll have to tell him I’m sick, but if he wants to see me, that’s okay. But it’s also okay if he doesn’t. To him, I’m just this person he knows about, he doesn’t know me as his mother, and I understand that. But I’d like him to have the choice.”

“That’s fine, we’ll talk to him. But… I can’t promise anything, do you understand that?”

“I do. I appreciate you even coming here. I know this must have come as a huge shock to you, but I had to tell you. You needed to know, Louis. I wish things were different…”

“I know. Me too, but I’m grateful you got in contact. I’ll admit I had no idea what you wanted, and this was the last thing I expected. Just… I’m so sorry, Faye.”

She stood shakily and he hugged her again, letting out a slow and shaky breath. He pulled away and transferred her into Harry’s arms, realising how small and frail she looked against Harry’s taller, broader frame. He helped back into her seat before he kissed her cheek, and Louis did the same, holding a hand to her sunken cheek, hating how sick she looked. The headscarf did nothing to detract from her appearance, and he felt tears prickle at the backs of his eyes, emotional from what had happened.

“We’ll come back and see you, okay? No matter what Jacob wants to do, I’ll come back, spend some time with you. Maybe I can bring you some more photos, would you like that?”

“Please, that would be lovely. And just tell Jacob… I’m sorry? That I’m sorry I wasn’t the mother he deserved.”

There was silence again for a moment, and Louis nodded, taking Harry’s hand again. 

“I will. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Faye nodded and they all said their goodbyes, and Louis closed the door with a quiet click. He exhaled and turned, pressing his forehead to the cool painted wall outside of her room, and he felt himself start to shake.

“Louis… hey, Louis, I’m here, come on darling.” Harry took control, sensing Louis was spiralling into a panic, and he led him to a chair in the corridor, sitting him down and crouching between Louis’ thighs. “Hey, look at me. Breathe with me, Lou, you’re okay. I’m here. Breathe, darling.”

Louis focused on Harry’s green eyes as he took some deep breaths, taking a few minutes to collect his thoughts. His heart was racing, and his mind was a myriad of thoughts he didn't have answers to. Harry was stroking along his thighs, his touch reassuring and grounding, and Louis nodded, watching the bob of Harry’s adams apple as he spoke softly, calming Louis with the deep timbre of his voice.

“Is this actually happening, Haz? How the fuck am I going to tell Jacob that his mum’s dying?”

“We’ll do it together, yeah? You don’t have to do this alone, my love. I know it’s horrible, and Jake’s gonna be confused and upset, but he’s got us, both of us. And our families. Whether he wants to see her or not, we’ll help him through this.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Louis mumbled, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Harry’s shoulder, arms coming around to hug him. He felt safe in Harry’s arms. Protected. It wasn’t until he got himself into the car that he allowed himself to break, sobbing in Harry’s arms for everything that was happening, and that, close or not, his son was about to lose his mother. Nothing could make this okay.

*

Louis allowed the news to sink for a few days before he even contemplated talking to Jacob about it. He’d made sure to keep communication open with Harry, knowing how easily he let things take him under, and they’d spent hours before they fell asleep each night with Louis talking things through, how he didn't know how Jacob was going to react. It was a delicate situation, and Harry and Louis had decided that Jacob was old enough to be told the truth. However, it was one thing talking about telling their son his mother was terminally ill, and another to actually do it.

“Can I help do the mash?” Jacob called across the kitchen, and Harry nodded with a smile, watching as Jacob dragged his stool across the floor, standing next to him. He added a blob of butter and watched as Jacob took the masher, pummelling the potatoes in the pan with all his might.

“Careful love, we want to eat it, not wear it,” Harry chastised carefully and Jacob nodded, slowing down a bit. Harry looked over his shoulder to see Louis setting the table. They’d decided after a few nights chatting that tonight was the one they wanted to tell Jacob. It was a Friday night, and that meant they had the weekend to spend with their son at home, and just look after him in case he was emotional after the news.

“Is it done?” 

“Yep, looks good. Just give it a stir with that spoon for me, use those strong muscles.” Harry laughed as Jacob held up his arms, showing off his tiny biceps before he grabbed the wooden spoon, stirring the potato carefully. He watched as Harry plated up the pies along with a scoop of mash, and some peas. Louis made the gravy quietly, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Jacob that Louis was quiet. 

“Daddy, are you okay?”

“Yeah, champ, all good.” Louis walked over and ruffled Jacob’s hair, making him duck out of the way and run to the table. He sat quietly as Harry and Louis put the plates and things on the table, and chatted about what they might do the following week together. Harry had a couple of rehearsals for his tour booked but other than that, it seemed they were free.

“So can we go swimming?” 

“We’ll see, Jacob.”

“But you said-”

“Love, don’t push it, okay? Dad said we’ll see, and that’s that.”

Jacob looked down at the table and nodded, and they ate the rest of the meal in relative silence. Percy whined for a little while but soon stopped when he got no attention from anyone. Louis and Harry were too focused on the impending news they were going to drop to really be present, and Jacob was confused by the atmosphere, despite them wanting it to be as normal as possible.

“Do we have pudding?” Jacob asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Harry hurried to answer before Louis could say no, not wanting to delay the inevitable. “Sure, love. We got those yogurts the other day, help yourself to one of those in the fridge.” 

Jacob grinned and hopped up from the table while Louis and Harry cleared the plates up, smiling as their son set down yogurts for them too. Harry watched as Louis pushed his away but he quickly tore the lid off his, eating eagerly. 

“Before you go, love, Daddy and I need to talk to you, okay?” Harry asked, and Jacob nodded, running his spoon around the whole pot, scooping up every last morsel of yogurt that he could. Harry looked on proudly as Jacob went to the sink and rinsed out his pot, leaving it on the draining board to be recycled later on, and his spoon followed it into the sink.

“Do we have to talk at the table?”

Harry looked to Louis who shook his head, jerking his head towards the living room.

“No, love, we can go and sit on the sofa. Let me just give Percy his dinner and I’ll be right there, okay?”

Jacob nodded and ran out of the room. Harry got up and started getting ready to clear the table, but he stopped when he felt Louis’ hand come to rest on his waist. He carefully turned around in his hold, and rested his hands on Louis’ shoulder, wishing there was more he could do. 

“It’s be alright, Lou. He’s an amazing boy.”

“I know,” Louis whispered in reply, sniffing back his tears. “I just… it’s a lot, for an eight year old, you know. To tell him that his mother’s gonna die. I don’t know how he’s gonna handle this.”

“He’ll handle it however he needs to, Lou. He has us, and we’ll be there for him, whatever happens, okay? I love you, Louis. We’ll get through this like we do everything. Together.”

“Love you too,” Louis mumbled, tilting his chin up for a quick kiss. Their lips met, and Harry pressed as much love into the kiss as he could before Louis pulled away, reaching his hand down and taking Harry’s hand in his own. “Ready?”

“As long as you are. You talk, darling, I’ll just be there to support you, alright?”

Louis nodded and they went through to the sitting room together. Jacob got up and immediately curled into Harry’s lap, looking up at Louis. Harry appreciated the fact his son was still affectionate enough to want to sit on their laps, and he treasured it, never sure when Jacob would outgrow it.

“Daddy, is something wrong with the babies?”

“What? No, love, the babies are fine. Shannon’s taking really good care of them.”

“Good, cos I want my baby sisters to be all good and ready to come out soon.”

Louis and Harry chuckled, still chuffed to bits about how excited Jacob was to welcome his siblings into their family. “You know there’s still a little while before the babies are ready to be born, love?”

“I do, but I want to see them soon on the telly machine thingy! I want to know if they’re boys or girls, even though I know they will be girls.”

Louis smiled softly, reaching across to move Jacob’s fringe out of his eyes. “You need a haircut soon, Jake.”

Jacob folded his arms across his chest, pouting. “I hate the hairdressers. The clippers hurt my head.”

“Oh, stop. You’re a big boy now. We’ll go next week, and if you don’t make a fuss, we can go for a milkshake after.” Jacob grinned and nodded, fiddling absentmindedly with his hair. “Now. This is serious, Jacob, Dad and I have something to talk to you about.”

“Okay. I’ll listen good, like at school.”

“I know you will.” Louis paused, looking to Harry. Harry smiled slightly at Louis, and held Jacob a little tighter around the waist, offering a bit of comfort in the only way he could. “Okay, sweetheart. Um, remember sometimes we talk about your Mum?”

Jacob’s brow furrowed and suddenly he nodded, realising what Louis meant. “My mum Faye?”

“Yeah, darling, Faye.”

“Why are you talking about Mum? We never talk about her because I have you and Dad now.”

“You do, Jake. But there’s something that Dad and I found out the other day, and we think you’re old enough to know.”

Jacob nodded again, and Harry watched Louis take his hand, stroking his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.

“Mum wrote to us, me and Dad. She asked to meet us, and we went to see her last week.”

“Oh. Why didn't you take me too?”

Louis sighed, and Harry stepped in, wanting to be part of it too. “Daddy and I decided that we should find out what she wanted first, in case it was something you didn't need to know, or if it was boring grown up things.”

“Like because you adopted me?”

“Maybe, love, but it wasn’t that. Everything is sorted with that now, you’re Dad’s boy and nothing can change that. We got the certificate, remember? With Dad’s name on it too.”

“Yeah! I love that,” Jacob said, a smile identical to Louis’ crossing his features. “So cool.”

“It is. Anyway, love, back to Mum. We saw her, and she told us something. She’s poorly, Jacob. Really sick.”

There was silence as Jacob let the words sink in. He looked at Louis, and then up at Harry, trying to work out what really sick meant. “How sick? Like when I got the runs?”

Harry stifled a giggle, biting his lip to stop himself smiling, and he was grateful that Louis seemed to be in the same predicament.

“No, love. A lot more sick than that. She’s…” Harry nodded gently, telling Louis to use the words. “She’s got cancer, darling. She’s in a special place that’s looking after her now, like a hospital.”

“Okay.” Harry was surprised by Jacob’s reaction, but the little boy stayed where he was in his lap, just nodding. “Can I go play with my toys now? I want to finish my town I builded with my cars.”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said softly, sensing Louis was about to not let him. “Give us a call when you’re done, I’d love to see it. And yes, Percy can go with you.”

Jacob kissed Harry on the cheek and hopped up, pressing a kiss to Louis’ lips as well. “You’re the best! Come on Percy, come play cars!”

Harry watched as Jacob left the room and listened to his footsteps run up the stairs as quick as he could. “Well, that went… well, I guess?”

“Well? He didn't bloody bat an eyelid, Haz. Shit. Do you think he gets it?”

“No,” Harry replied honestly, shaking his head slightly, taking Louis’ hand in his own. “But he’s a child, love. I don’t think he’s meant to get it. Perhaps we need to ask your mum for some advice? She’s dealt with this stuff at work before, right?”

Louis sighed, running his fingers through his hair and swivelling his body so he was laid out on the sofa, his feet in Harry’s lap. Harry brought his hand down, rubbing over Louis’ ankle bones for a second, making him shiver. “Yeah, good idea. I didn't expect that to go like that, though.”

“Don’t worry, love. Maybe we’ll talk to him tomorrow, see if he understands.”

They sat quietly and watched some telly for a bit, Harry talking Louis through his setlist for the tour after a while. It had been hard to work out which songs to leave off since the show wasn’t meant to be six hours long, and in the end, Harry had forced Louis to decide, unable to cut songs he loved so much. Now though, he was happy with it, and as usual, Louis had made good decisions that Harry wholeheartedly agreed with.

“Dad! Come and see my town!”

Harry smiled at the sound of Jacob’s voice calling him from upstairs, and Louis lifted his legs away, kissing Harry before he got up. 

“Send Percy down, love. I’ll take him for a quick walk, think I need a bit of fresh air to clear my head.”

“Are you alright? We can come with you if you want?”

“No, I’m fine, honestly. Just need a few minutes to myself if that’s okay?”

Harry kissed Louis again, sliding his hand under his jumper, touching the soft skin of his hip. “Of course it is. But I’m here if you need me, yeah? I love you, Lou.”

“Me too, babe. Go see our boy before he screams the house down.”

Harry grinned and nodded, running up the stairs. Louis stood at the bottom of the stairs and called for Percy, who trotted off, eager as always to go on a walk. Harry tapped on Jacob’s door before he walked in, gasping at the sight in front of him on the floor.

“Wow! This looks amazing, love. You’re getting so good with your Lego, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I love it! The Lego club I do at school is super cool and they gave me lots of ideas so I wanted to build it! You wanna play?”

“Definitely.” Harry sat cross legged on the floor as Jacob slid over some Matchbox cars, explaining his little town he’d created to Harry with the most serious look on his face. Harry listened intently, always keen to show his son he was interested in his things, and together, they sat for what felt like ages, whizzing cars around the carpeted floor, Jacob putting on voices and pretending to be various characters in his made up world.

“Dad?”

Harry looked up from where he was parking a small Ferrari, and locked eyes with his son, marvelling for a moment at how blue they were.

“Yes, love?”

“Is Mum gonna die?”

Harry swallowed, removing his hand from the car and sitting up straight. “Um…”

“Cos when people get cancer, they die, right?”

“Well, not always, love-”

“But is my Mum gonna die? If she’s really sick, I mean.”

Harry sighed, wishing Louis was there. But at the same time, he didn't want to lie to Jacob. The boy deserved to know the truth, and he knew his husband would want him to be honest. “Yes, love. She’s really sick, and the doctors can’t make her better, not anymore. They tried to give her the special medicine, but it didn't work.”

“Oh.” Jacob bit his lip and looked down, pushing the Mercedes in his hand back and forth on the carpet, that being the only sound in the room. “I don’t want to go and see her. I know Daddy will be cross but I don’t.”

“That’s okay, love. We weren’t going to make you. But…” Harry paused, wondering if she should say anymore but he decided he needed to. “You know if you choose not to see her, and that’s okay if you do… you won’t get a chance to see her again. She is going to die, love.”

“I know. But I’ve never had a Mum. I mean, I have cos I grew in her tummy and stuff, and she gave me to Daddy to look after when I born. So I never knowed her. I’ve always had Daddy, and Grandma Jay but I never had a Mum and I don’t want one now. I’ve got you and Dad and that’s okay. I don’t feel sad because I never had her. But…”

“But what, love?” Harry scooted closer to Jacob, resting a hand on his knee.

“I feel like Daddy will be sad if I don’t cry about it? Maybe he will think I’m a horrible boy for not being sad my Mum is going to die and won’t be here anymore?”

“Daddy would never think that,” Harry reassured him quickly, hating how pink Jacob’s cheeks had gotten now he was being honest. “It’s okay to not be sad, darling, and I understand that. You’ve not had her in your life, not like me or Daddy or Grandma or Nanny. You might feel a bit sad, but if you don’t want to cry, you don’t have to. And we don’t expect anything of you. Not to see her, or go to her funeral, or anything. It’s up to you.”

“Are you sure?”

“More than,” Harry whispered, and braced himself as Jacob surged towards him, throwing himself in Harry’s lap and squeezing him tightly. “But Jake, I’m sorry your mum is poorly, love. She doesn’t deserve to be so sick, and it’s very sad that she’s going to die.”

“I know. I bet her mummy will be sad.”

“I’m sure she will be.” Jacob nodded and wriggled for a moment, getting comfortable. “Do you want a bath? We can use one of your nice bath bombs you and Nanny bought in Lush the other day if you want, maybe the one that turns the water blue?”

“Yeah! Yes, please!” Jacob got up and ran off to the bathroom, and Harry could hear the drawers being pulled open until Jacob yelled out triumphantly having found what he wanted. “Come on, Dad, come and run my bath!”

“Coming, love,” Harry called, smiling as he got to his feet, grateful Jacob had opened up to him.

*

Later that night, Louis and Harry were curled up in bed, Louis’ head on Harry’s chest as his fingers ran up and down Harry’s torso, circling his belly button before coming back up. It was pitch black, and Louis’ legs were tangled with Harry’s as they both stared into the darkness. Jacob was sound asleep down the corridor, and Louis had come home to find Jacob in the bath chatting away to Harry like nothing had happened.

“So did he talk to you while I was out?” Louis asked, his voice breaking the silence.

“Yeah, he did. Said he was worried you’d think he was bad for not feeling sad about Faye. He said he doesn’t want to see her, but he feels like he doesn’t feel sad because he never had a mum. I get it, I do. It’s actually a really grown up thing for him to admit, Lou.”

“I know,” Louis said through a sigh. “I’m glad he talked to you, but I don’t like that he thinks I’m gonna think he’s bad because he isn’t upset or whatever about Faye being so sick. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Good idea. How are you feeling? Are you still going to call her tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think so. Maybe I need to tell her about Jake, what he said? That he doesn’t want to see her. I don’t know how she’s gonna react, Haz.”

Harry just shrugged, trailing his fingers up and down the knobs of Louis’ spine, his hand coming to rest on Louis’ bum. “She’ll probably be upset, baby. But that’s okay, and you need to tell her that’s okay as well. We can’t force Jacob into doing anything he doesn’t want to, and nor should we. He’s got his own mind, and to be honest, there’s a little part of me that is happy he won’t see her like that. It’s not nice for a child to see someone like that.”

Louis just nodded, looking up and pulling Harry into a soft kiss. There was nothing desperate behind it. It was just a man seeking comfort from his husband, and Harry was more than happy to give it. They kissed for a little while, tongues brushing, lips moving slowly and carefully until Louis pulled away, sighing heavily.

“Thank you. For always being there for me and Jake, through all the shit we put you through.”

“Hey, no. Enough of that. I’m here because I love you both. I chose you, Lou, you, Jake and this life. This is what I want, through the good and the bad. Yeah, it’s a bit shitty at the moment but remember we’ve got a lot to look forward to as well.”

“Yeah, we do,” Louis breathed, and Harry could almost hear the smile through his words.

“Yeah, we do, you’re right. We’ve got two beautiful children on the way, our little boy is growing up into a kind and wonderful young man, I’ve got the tour, and you’ve got so far to go in your career, Lou. Don’t think I haven’t seen the stuff you got in the post from Uni’s the other day.”

Louis didn't speak so Harry didn't press it, deciding it was an issue for another time. 

“I love you, and I’m so proud of you for handling everything that gets thrown at you. And whatever happens, I’m going nowhere. Don’t forget that.”

“Promise?” Louis asked, his voice quiet and soft.

“I promise, forever and always,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ left hand and kissing his wedding band for a moment. “Not going anywhere, Lou.”

“I love you, Haz.”

“Love you more,” Harry whispered, letting his eyes close and sleep finally come.

*

It was only ten days later that they received the call. Faye had passed away peacefully in her sleep at the hospice, her mother by her side. Louis had taken the call, and Harry knew from his face what had happened. They’d sat Jacob down together and explained to him that Faye had died, that she was in heaven now. The little boy had been quiet and contemplative, taking himself off to his tree house for a while. Harry had taken him lunch there, and he’d asked quietly to go to the shop.

They’d gone together, and allowed Jacob to lead them inside, the little boy stopping in front of the flowers near the entrance. He wandered around for a bit before he stopped in front of a small bunch of pink gerbera’s. Harry squeezed Louis’ hand as he came over, holding them up with a hopeful look on his face. Harry reached for his wallet and passed Jacob a ten pound note, letting his son go off to the counter to pay for them. Somehow, he knew what Jacob was going to do.

When they arrived home, Jacob held Louis’ hand as he led them out into the garden, his flowers in his hand. Harry grabbed a bag and some scissors before he joined them, standing at the bottom of the Willow tree near the end of their garden. The sun was shining, and somehow, it was a perfect day, despite the news they’d just received.

They stood quietly, side by side, as Jacob and Harry undid the flowers, cutting through the piece of string holding them together. Harry stood back up as Jacob walked over to the base of the tree, gently setting the flowers down. Harry could feel Louis’ shoulders start to shake as he cried quietly, and he pulled him close, supporting him but letting Jacob continue, knowing it was important for his son.

“I didn't know you, Mum,” Jacob began, his voice floating away on the breeze. “But I’m sad you died because I would not be here with Dad and Daddy if you didn't have me in your tummy. I’m sorry I didn't come and see you. I just… I didn't know you very much. But I hope heaven is a nice place, that you will be happy there and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I hope you will look at me and my baby sisters when they come and be happy because we are happy. I didn't really know you much because you left me when I was so small but I will always remember that I had a mum. I won’t forget you.”

Harry felt his bottom lip tremble and a tear slid down his cheek. He just let it fall, not ashamed of his emotions at Jacob’s heartfelt speech. He just watched, arms wrapped around his husband as Jacob knelt down, rearranging the flowers before he stood up, staring at them for a moment. 

Jacob walked over and slid his hand into Louis’, smiling at the way he’d left the flowers.

“It’s okay to be sad, Daddy,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist for a few minutes. “It’s sad that Mum died. But I’ve still got you, and I’ve got Daddy, and Percy and everyone else. And my babies are coming soon, and that’s gonna make us all happy again, so we won’t have to cry anymore, okay?”

Louis looked down with watery eyes at his son, and Harry took a little step away, giving the two boys a moment to themselves. 

“You’re amazing, Jacob, do you know that?” Louis kissed Jacob’s head and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m so sorry about your Mum, love. And if you need to talk, you know where me and Dad are, yeah?”

“I do. But I… I can’t miss someone I didn't really know, can I?” Louis just nodded, and released Jacob, letting him hug Harry for a minute. Jacob looked up to the sky for a moment, squinting at the sunshine, and Harry tilted his chin back, staring up into the blue. “Bye Mum.”

Harry let out a shaky breath, knowing he and Louis still had Faye’s funeral to contend with. Louis was adamant he wanted to attend, and that he wanted Harry by his side to support him, which Harry had easily agreed to. Now though, it was the perfect way for their son to say goodbye to his mum, someone Harry hadn’t really known but would forever be grateful to for bringing his son into the world.

“Is it next week we’re seeing the babies again?” Jacob suddenly asked, breaking the silence. Harry smiled, nodding, heart fluttering at the thought of seeing his children again next week, at seeing Shannon again. It had been too long for his liking.

“Yeah, love. We might find out the sex of them as well-”

He cut off as Jacob gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth and pointing at Harry.

“What? Did I say something wrong?” Harry asked, confused.

“No, you can’t say the s-word! That’s a bad word, we get told off at school for that!”

Louis laughed, and his eyes shone with unshed tears, ruffling his son’s brown locks. “No, love, Dad means we’ll find out whether the babies are boys or girls.”

“Oh. Whoops,” Jacob giggled, cheeks flushing pink. “Can we go in now? I’m hot and I want to make Shannon a card before we see her next week. Maybe I can get my glitter out?” He looked up at Harry with hopeful eyes, and he couldn’t help but nod, making Jacob cheer and run towards the house, Percy hot on his heels.

“I think we’ll be okay, you know,” Louis mused, sniffing as he leaned into Harry’s chest, hugging him again. “Let’s look to the future, yeah? To our babies, to everything we’ve got to look forward to.”

“Only happy times to come, my darling,” Harry mumbled, kissing Louis’ lips softly. “So much good to come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More babies and fluff soon, I assure you. x


	81. Big Spender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry, Louis and Jacob attend a special scan with Shannon, and Jacob finds out something very exciting. Afterwards, Harry treats his boys to a special shopping trip!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Thank you as always for the fabulous response to the last chapter. It was better received than I ever could have dreamed, so thank you for the wonderful comments, and for still reading.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one, hopefully the next one won't be too far away! I'm still so in love with this family :) The next chapter just might be my favourite!!
> 
> As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments, I love to read them and reply!
> 
> x

Faye’s funeral was held ten days after her death. Louis and Harry attended together, both dressed in black, Louis clutching onto Harry’s hand for support through the whole service. He’d shed several tears and Harry had been there to mop them up, to hold Louis’ hand as her coffin was lowered into the ground. In a way, both men were pleased that Jacob had asked not to come, that he’d said his own goodbye in their garden and that was enough for him. Louis mourned, he hugged Faye’s parents and then they left, leaving the family to mourn together. Louis felt he’d said his goodbye, and that was enough. 

Shannon’s scan had been put back a week after her children fell sick with a bug from school. Jacob had cried when Louis had told him they wouldn’t be seeing the babies when he had expected, and instead, he’d made Louis mark the new date on his calendar, circling it in a blue felt tip so he knew how many days to countdown. It meant the anticipation was back in the house, and Harry had been getting a little more obsessed with baby websites, looking at everything from furniture for the nursery, to decorative themes, clothes and toys.

Still, the day of the scan soon arrived, and Louis was woken up in one of the best ways possible. He’d finally started sleeping properly again, and always appreciated Harry holding him until he was asleep, safe in his husband’s arms. That morning, however, he stirred, cracking open an eye to look at the clock, groaning when he saw it was just past six in the morning. He was on his tummy, and he smiled when he realised what Harry was doing.

He’d hitched down Louis’ boxers, exposing his arse and he was grinding against it, his bare cock sliding easily over Louis’ exposed cheeks. Louis moaned so Harry knew he was awake, and he wanted to laugh when Harry stopped, as if worried of Louis’ reaction.

“Don’t stop, please,” he rasped out, voice croaky and low like it usually was in the morning. He pushed up as he felt Harry lean over him, his hot torso pressing against Louis’ warm back, smiling as their lips met. “Good morning.”

“Morning, beautiful. Sorry but I woke up hard cos of you, and I had to do something about it. You wanna do anything, or…”

“Nah, you carry on, baby. Feels nice.” Louis settled back against the sheet and murmured happily as Harry picked up his rhythm, his cock sliding between Louis’ cheeks occasionally, driving himself closer to orgasm. Louis willed himself to stay quiet, knowing it wouldn’t be long until Jacob was awake and bursting into their room with excitement. Usually, he and Harry tried to have sex in the mornings, but sometimes, it was nice just to be with each other like this, to appreciate each others bodies. 

“You’re so beautiful, Lou, love you so much.”

“I love you, too. Want you to come on me, Haz. S’nice way to wake up.”

“Fuck, yeah, want that. Make you mine.”

It didn't take long until Harry was coming, coating Louis’ bare cheeks in his hot come, whispering filthy words into the darkness as he kept moving against his husband’s body, only stopping when he became too sensitive to carry on. Harry flopped on the bed next to Louis, panting and sweaty, smiling slightly at his husband. Louis could just make out a dimple in his cheek thanks to a chink of light coming in the curtains, and he always thought this was when Harry was at his most beautiful. He loved that he was the only one who would see Harry like this, especially when he had to share so much of his husband with the world.

“Excited about today, then?” Louis asked as he wriggled his boxers up over his arse, ignoring the fact that he was going to be sticky inside them for now. They’d shower before they got dressed anyway, so neither of them were too bothered. Louis rolled over, curling into Harry’s side, throwing a leg over Harry without realising he was still naked. “Oops, sorry, did I hurt you?”

“Nah, it’s alright. Missed my cock this time.” Harry giggled and ran a hand through Louis’ hair, kissing his forehead slowly. “And you know I’m excited. Can’t believe this is really happening today, you know? Like, we expected it last week, and now it’s really here, it’s kinda surreal.”

“And you’re still okay with Jacob finding out? I’ve got no idea about this plan of his, do you?”

“Nope, but he was on the phone with both of our mums for long enough the other day. God knows what he’s cooking up, but I like that he’s so excited about whatever it is he’s up to.” Harry grinned, heart wanting to explode at how excited his young son was to find out the gender of his siblings.

Jacob had come to Harry and Louis a few days ago, telling them he had a plan that he and Nanny and Grandma had come up with, and please could he be told if the babies were boys or girls, and not Harry or Louis. They’d text Shannon about it, and she was luckily fine with it, understanding entirely since she was a mother herself. They’d reluctantly agreed, and since then, Jacob had locked himself away in either his tree house or his bedroom to create whatever it was he needed for the big reveal, and the closer it got, the more excited Jacob was.

“I don’t know if he’ll be able to keep this to himself, though. You know he’s crap at keeping secrets. Nearly spilled about our engagement and wedding, do you remember?” Louis smiled softly as he fell into his memories for a moment. It wasn’t really that long ago that they’d got secretly engaged in Jamaica on holiday together, and had come home to tell Jacob, making him promise to keep their secret until they were ready to divulge it to everyone. He’d succeeded, but there were a few close calls.

“If he doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world. But for now, it’ll keep him happy so let’s play along-” Harry cut off as he heard little footsteps in the hallway before the bathroom light flicked on, telling them Jacob was up for his usual morning wee. He was a child of habit, and Louis and Harry made sure they were decent before just a few minutes later, Jacob burst in, a wide smile on his face as he stood there in his football themed short pyjamas, his teddy held in his arms. If anyone but Louis or Harry asked, he never slept with a teddy, but realistically, both of his dads knew the little boy couldn’t sleep without it, even now.

“It’s baby day!” Jacob yelled before he leapt onto the bed, narrowly avoiding kneeing Harry in the privates. Louis tackled him down to the mattress, kissing his face as Jacob squealed, trying madly to escape. “Yuck! Daddy get off me! Dad, help!”

“What? You don’t want my kisses?! But that just makes me want to kiss you more!” Louis yelled before tickling Jacob’s underarms as Harry watched on in amusement, loving his crazy family life. Louis stopped and grinned down at his son, all pink cheeked and sweating now. “Excited are we?”

“Just a bit! I’m gonna see the babies on the telly again, and then find out if they’re girls like I think they are!”

“And what if they’re boys? Are you going to be disappointed?” 

Harry looked up at the question, curious to hear the answer as well.

“Nah. If they’re brothers, that’ll be cool. But really, I want them to be my sisters. I told you anyway. I’m the big brother and I just know. They’re girls,” he finished with a shrug, entirely certain of his judgment. “But I need breakfast first before my tummy eats itself cos it’s so hungry. Come on, pancakes please, Dad!”

“Alright, alright,” Harry moaned as he swung his legs out of bed, turning around to get a face full of t-shirt as Jacob threw it at him across the room. “Oh, cheers love. You can go down and put the things on the worktop. Don’t touch the oven without me, though.”

“Okay, see you in a sec! I’ll go say hi to Percy,” Jacob yelled, his voice disappearing as he ran out of the room, thundering down the stairs and shouting to Percy.

“Poor dog,” Louis mused, slipping some clothes onto his own body. He grabbed Harry around the waist as he went to leave the room, cupping Harry’s cheek with his small hand. “Hey. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Harry smiled, bringing their lips together again. “We’re gonna see our babies today, Lou.”

“I know, darling. I’m so excited for you. Nothing like this, I promise you. I know I missed out with so much with Jake, but I love that I’m part of all this with you this time.”

“Hey, they’re your babies too. You know that, right?”

“I do,” Louis promised, sealing the deal with another kiss, not that he needed an excuse to kiss Harry. “Now, go start cooking before Jacob has to come and find you.” He slapped Harry’s bum as he walked off, making him squeal before Louis sloped downstairs too, sitting at the table as he watched Jacob and Harry prepare breakfast together. He loved the patience that Harry always had with their son, explaining everything as they did, letting Jacob scoop out the batter into the frying pan while he chopped up some bananas and blueberries on a board to the side of the hob. Jacob listened carefully, following every instruction, and Louis decided he should make himself useful.

“Tea, Haz?”

“Yes please, Lou.”

“Juice, Jacob?”

“Yes please, Lou!”

“Oi, cheeky...” Louis teased, heading for the fridge and taking out a carton of Jacob’s favourite cloudy apple juice, something his Nanny Anne had got him hooked on lately. Soon enough, breakfast was ready, and Louis had just set the mugs on the table as Harry put down a couple of plates, Jacob sliding into his seat, ready to tuck in. 

“Careful, remember they’re hot,” Harry warned as Jacob rolled his eyes, thinking he knew best as always. They ate as they talked about their plans for the day. Harry told Jacob they had to walk Percy after breakfast, and Louis was going to stay home and do some washing. Both of them knew Jacob was willing the hours away until their appointment at two o’clock that afternoon, and they were determined to keep him as occupied as they could until then.

When they’d eaten, Jacob ran off to get dressed, soon running down the stairs dressed in a very mismatched, colour clashing outfit that had Louis sniggering at his son’s lack of fashion sense. Louis waved the pair of them off down the driveway, Percy pulling on his lead as he dragged the two Tomlinson boys off down the driveway, and into the summer sunshine. Louis smiled to himself, realising that soon enough, Harry would be heading off not only with Jacob and Percy, but a pushchair containing their twins too. Life honestly couldn’t get much better.

*

“This is it! Pick a space, Daddy, Nanny says you need to stop touring the car park!”

Harry laughed loudly as Louis huffed in the driver’s seat, indicating and pulling into a space. Jacob was looking wide eyed up at the hospital, practically bouncing on his booster seat, restrained only by the seat belt crossing his body. Harry reached over and gripped Louis’ hand in his own, squeezing tightly for a moment. He felt oddly nervous, and could feel the butterflies flapping madly in his tummy, everything feeling quite overwhelming for a moment.

“You alright?” Louis asked quietly, and Harry nodded, smiling at his husband. “Sure?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I just… I can’t believe we’re here, that this is happening.”

“I know. But this is good, yeah? Shannon’s here, the babies are with her, and we’re going to find out very soon if you’ve made baby boys or girls, my darling. If we’re getting sons or daughters. Do you want to stay here for a second or go in?”

“Go in! Go in!” Jacob called, clearly eager to get in.

“Jacob, can you be quiet just for a minute, please? Dad just needs a second.”

“Sorry.” Jacob fell quiet, and Louis handed him his phone, hearing the familiar tones of Jacob’s latest favourite game, Candy Crush. 

“We’ve got fifteen minutes before the appointment, love. We can stay here if you want to.”

Harry nodded for a second, leaning back in his seat, still holding Louis’ hand. He felt grateful to have such a supportive husband by his side, and a few minutes later, he sat up, blinking up into the sunshine. “I’m ready, Lou. Let’s go.”

“Okay, baby. Jacob, are you ready?”

“YEAH!” 

“Alright, let me let you out.” Harry got out of the car, and opened Jacob’s door, pleased the little boy jumped down to the floor and waited by his side, knowing about the dangers of running around in a car park. They all held hands, Jacob between them, as they headed indoors, navigating the warren-like corridors towards the maternity department. Louis spoke into the speaker on the wall, allowing them to be buzzed in. Harry’s eyes raked around, looking for Shannon, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him as his eyes locked with Shannon’s across the room.

His jaw dropped as she reached behind her to aid her in standing up, and he just stared at the size of her bump as she righted herself. The bump had grown hugely in the past few weeks since they’d last seen her when they found out they were expecting twins, and the pictures didn't do her any justice.

“Oh my god,” Harry whispered, gripping Louis’  hand tightly as Jacob rushed over, not hesitating in placing his little palms flat on Shannon’s belly as she grinned down at him.

“Oh, jesus,” Louis murmured, hurrying over to Shannon. “Hello love, I’m so sorry, did he ask to touch you? Jacob, what did I tell you? I know you think they’re your babies but it’s still Shannon’s tummy, okay? You need to ask before you touch her-”

“Louis, it’s fine. I understand you’re just excited, aren’t you, Jacob?”

“Yeah! Hi babies, i’s Jacob. I’m your big brother. We’re gonna see on the telly soon. Are you being good babies in there?” Harry grinned as he stepped over, watching Jacob press his ear to Shannon’s bump as if he could hear then answer. He hugged Shannon, quickly marvelling over her bump for a moment. “Well, I know you can’t talk but I’ll pretend you answered and you’re being good! Love you babies!”

“You look amazing,” Harry murmured, and Shannon smiled, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it against her tummy. “Wow… you just… you’ve grown so much!”

“So have your children,” she replied with a soft grin, and Harry gasped as a baby kicked against his hand. “Oh good, they’re awake again…”

“Louis, oh my god, Louis, they kicked, quick-”

Harry reached for his husband and grabbed Louis’ hand, putting it next to his own. They waited in anticipation for a few moments until the baby kicked again, and Louis laughed loudly, face full of wonder. Harry just stared down at the bump where his hand had been kicked and took in a breath, hoping the tears wouldn’t fall. He could feel Louis take his other hand, and he appreciated that Louis always knew what he needed.

A door to the room opened and a nurse looked in, smiling over at the little family. “Shannon, did you want to come through?”

Harry and Louis dropped their hands and followed Shannon, laughing as Jacob took her hand, opening doors for her, acting like a little gentleman. He chatted away as if he’d known Shannon forever, and eventually, they arrived at the small scanning room. They sat at the desk first, the three Tomlinson’s sitting quietly at the back of the room so Shannon could talk through the important questions with the midwife first.

Jacob was whispering throughout but Louis kept him as quiet as possible, knowing Jacob was just curious about everything. When Shannon finally stood up and walked over to bed, Harry got up, supporting her hand as she laid down, pulling up her top and exposing her belly. 

“Can I…”

“Of course, Harry,” she murmured as the midwife pulled over the scanning equipment, loading up the required things. Harry laid his hand on her bare belly, feeling more connected to the babies like this. He stayed quiet as he lost himself in the moment, and he could sense Louis coming to sit next to him, Jacob perched on his lap.

“Are you going to ask, love?” Louis asked quietly, and Jacob nodded, looking up at the midwife while Harry stroked over the bump, silently wishing his babies would kick again.

“Excuse me, mrs baby scanning lady?”

All the adults laughed quietly as the midwife looked over, nodding at Jacob.

“You can call me Sarah, love. But yes? Did you have a question?”

“I do.” Jacob turned to his little backpack and pulled out a glittery green notebook and sparkly purple pen, hopping off Louis’ lap and rounding the bed to stand next to Sarah for a moment. “My dads said I could ask what the babies are, and I can write it in here to show my nannies cos I have a plan.”

Sarah looked up, a little confused, so Louis took it upon himself to explain in English.

“Sorry, he’s a little excited. Jacob asked if he could find out the sex of the babies, and keep it a secret from all of us. He wants to do some sort of reveal for us all, and if that’s okay with you, we’d really like it if you could help him?”

“Oh, of course, as long as Mum is on board with that?”

“Not Mum, but yes, definitely on board,” Shannon agreed as Jacob stared at her bump. “You alright, Jacob?”

“Why are there marks on your tummy? Are the babies hurting you?”

“Oh, no love. They’re stretch marks, because my tummy is getting so big, and the skin is being stretched a lot. They don’t hurt, I promise.”

“Okay.” Sarah pulled over a stool and let Jacob sit on it before she picked up a bottle of gel, squirting some onto the top of Shannon’s belly as they all sat quietly, anticipation hanging heavy in the air. “Alright, here we go. Jacob, did you want to hold the wand just there for me?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you! You can help me if you want?”

“Oh wow, yes please!” 

Harry fumbled for his phone and snapped a few photos of a delighted Jacob listening intently to Sarah as he took the wand in his little hand, watching as he moved it across Shannon’s belly. Sarah turned to the computer and took some measurements for a moment, and Harry was suddenly desperate to see his children. He tapped his foot nervously on the floor, and let Louis hold his hand, resting on his own thigh.

“Okay, I’ve done all my bits, everything is on track from my point of view. They’re measuring a little small for your gestation, but that’s quite normal with twin pregnancies. However, both heartbeats are where they should be, and everything else is on track. So, first of all… just move it to the side, just there. Well done, Jacob. If you look at the screen-” she span it around, and all of them gasped as the sight of a baby filled the screen. “Here’s twin A.”

The baby was wriggling around on the screen, and it amazed Harry how much of a real baby it looked now. The head was obvious, and he could see limbs moving around on the screen, watching in complete rapture. He felt himself tear up again as he watched his child wriggle around inside Shannon’s tummy, healthy and content. 

“Louis…”

“I know, darling. That’s just… wow.”

“Where’s the other one?” Jacob piped up, and Shannon laughed, still mesmerised by the sight on the screen. “Can we see the other one now?”

Sarah obliged, helping Jacob move the wand so the other baby became visible. It looked pretty much the same as the other one, but wasn’t moving as much.

“They’re not moving as much… are they okay?” Harry asked, already feeling full of concern.

“Absolutely. It’s quite common for one baby to be more active in utero, it could be that they’ve been active all morning and now they’ve lulled themselves to sleep. Did you want to hear the heartbeats?”

Everyone in the room nodded, and Louis scooted his chair closer to Harry as Sarah flicked a switch on the computer, the room suddenly filled with a rapid whoosing sound.

“Oh my god…” Harry kept looking at the monitor as he listened to the joint heartbeats of his children, one of them on screen. Jacob was laughing now as he listened, chatting quietly to Sarah about something as he moved the wand again, bringing the wrigglier baby onto the screen. “They’re so fast…”

“My heart doesn’t go that fast even when I’ve been running!” Jacob still looked amazed, and Harry was so glad they’d brought Jacob along with them to this. It was the experience of a lifetime, and it was wonderful to experience it together as a family. “So how do I see if they’ve got willies or not?”

“Jacob! For goodness sake…” Louis chastised, rolling his eyes at Jacob’s usual forthrightness. “Do you have to be so rude?”

“It’s not rude! If I can see willies on the screen, I know it’s boys! Why are you so silly, Daddy?”

Harry was practically crying in his seat now, and Shannon wasn’t faring much better, laying on the bed, crossing her legs.

“Oh god, I really need the loo, please stop making me laugh, Jacob…”

“Sorry. But really, where are the willies?”

Sarah leaned in and whispered something to Jacob, turning the screen away from Harry, Louis and Shannon for a moment. She pointed to things on the screen as Jacob watched, listening as she whispered, and finally, Jacob grabbed his notebook, opening it to a new page, pen poised to write. His face lit up as he wrote something down, his little tongue poking out of the side of his mouth, nodding as Sarah pointed at something again.

“So do you know, love?” Harry asked, and Jacob nodded eagerly, snapping his notebook shut and jumping it, ramming it into his backpack. “Are you happy?”

“Super duper happy, but you can’t make me tell you! It’s a secret, and I can keep a secret for real!”

Harry and Louis laughed, pleased to see their son so happy. Shannon wiped off her belly as Sarah did a few more things at the computer, and finally Louis held her hands, helping her sit up, swinging her legs around the side of the bed. They all chatted for a few more minutes, and Sarah took Jacob off for a moment, returning with the little boy clutching some photos of the babies, which he doled out between the adults, keeping a set for himself, asking Louis to blu-tack them to his bedroom wall.

They all bade Sarah farewell as they left, stopping so Shannon could use the loo, and Harry ended up taking Jacob in as well, the little boy dancing around clutching his bits, pretending he didn't need to go, but Harry knew better after so long knowing him. They all walked to the car park together, and hugged Shannon, promising to be in touch about the reveal party that Jacob had in the works.

“I can’t wait to see what he’s planned,” Shannon confided to Harry, smiling at the sight of Louis crouched down next to Jacob, the pair of them looking through the scan photos. “He’s so excited to be a big brother, it’s lovely. He’s such a good boy, Harry. You must be so proud of him.”

“I am. I really am, he’s loving all of this, I’m so glad. I was worried at first, that he wouldn’t like the idea of me and Lou having another baby, but he’s so excited. More than us I think!”

She grinned, and hugged Harry again, letting him touch her belly one more time. Harry knew she had a bit of a drive ahead of her and was keen to let her go.

“Remember if you need anything at all, just give us a call, okay? We can be at yours if we need to be, and please do keep sending us the pictures of your bump… they really do make our day when we get them!”

“I will, I promise. And I can’t wait for you to meet my husband and kids, they’re dying to meet you. Take care, Harry. Bye Louis, bye Jacob!”

Jacob came running over and hugged Shannon, kissing her tummy before they all stood together, hand in hand, waving her off as she drove away. They headed towards their car, and Louis watched Jacob clamber in, fastening his belt before he got in himself, Harry behind the wheel.

“So where now? Home?”

“Nah,” Harry said with a devilish grin on his face. “I know it’s late but I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you?”

“For who? Us?”

“Yeah, all three of us. You wanna come, Jake?”

“Where?!”

“Well, it won’t be a surprise if I tell you…”

*

An hour or so later, Harry pulled up outside a rather well known department store. Louis sighed as he realised the time and the fact it would be closed. Harry wasn’t deterred though, and Louis watched as he manoeuvered their car around to the car park at the back. They pulled into a dimly lit area and Harry hopped out, quickly rounding the car to let Jacob out. It wasn’t dark by any means, but it was quiet, eerie almost now all the shoppers had left.

“Harry, what-”

“Just wait and see,” Harry said cryptically, taking Jacob’s hand and leading them to a small doorway, pressing on a black button next to the door. There was silence before the door swung open, and a member of staff greeted them.

“Ah, Mr Styles-”

“It’s Tomlinson, and please call me Harry,” Harry replied with a grin, leading his family into the building, the door closing with a loud thud behind him. Louis followed Harry as they were navigated through a few small corridors, and he laughed as they emerged onto the shop floor. “Thought we could do a bit of baby shopping, Lou?”

Jacob gasped and tugged on Harry’s hand until he looked down at his son. “Can we buy the babies some clothes?!”

“Maybe, love, if Daddy thinks that’s okay?” He looked over to Louis with a questioning look and he nodded, a small smile on his face. “I was thinking we could go and have a lot at cots and things? Work out what we’d like for the babies’ room, look at the pushchairs and things?”

“God, I didn't even think about that stuff,” Louis commented as they followed a staff member through the eerily empty building. It was strange to be in there without any customers, but Louis looked around, taking note of the many designer labels dotted around. He knew the prices in here wouldn’t be low, and although that wasn’t an issue thanks to Harry, he still sometimes felt awkward dropping big sums of money. Louis was sure it wasn’t something he’d ever get used to if he was honest.

“Haz?”

“Yeah, babe?” Harry turned to him, taking his hand as they waited for a lift, Jacob glaring at the button as if that would make the thing appear any quicker.

“I know you’ve probably thought about this stuff because you’re you, but I thought we were keeping the pregnancy a secret…”

“Don’t worry, Lou. It’s all sorted. I spoke to my team about this, they spoke to a few members of staff we’ve worked with before and got them to sign some NDAs. I know them all, they’re good people, they’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Okay, thank you. Just… now we’ve seen the babies, it feels real, you know? I want to protect them. I know people are going to have something to say when they’re here and we tell the world but for now… they’re our little people and I want to protect them with everything i have.”

“Me too, darling. I love you, Lou. I’m so glad I’m doing all this with you.”

Louis rubbed his nose briefly against Harry’s before the lift dinger and Jacob shrieked in excitement, running through the open doors.

“Which number?”

“It’ll be floor three, sir.”

“I’m not sir, I’m Jacob,” Jacob replied, pressing the button for the third floor before standing right in the middle of the doors, blocking anyone else from being able to get out ahead of him. It wasn’t long before the lift pinged again and they arrived, Jacob dashing out ahead of them, eyes wide and full of excitement.

“Oi, come here. You need to stay where we can see you, okay?” Louis reminded him. It didn't matter that the shop was closed and they were the only ones there, Louis was sure his son was more than capable of getting himself into trouble all by himself. It didn't take much, not with Jacob. He ruffled Jacob’s hair as he nodded, slipping his little hand into Louis’.  “Wow, I forgot about how much stuff babies need. And we’re having two of them…”

“We are,” Harry answered, wandering over to a nursery set up, running his hand along the wooden side of the white cot. “This is nice, Lou. What do you think?”

“Yeah, I like white. I had white for Jacob when he was little, looked lovely. How does the drop side… ah, there we go.”

“Look at you, such an expert,” Harry teased, hip checking Louis as he watched him easily lift the side back up into place. “Makes me realise I’ve got so much to learn.”

“Ah, you’ll be fine. Most important thing is to love them, and you’ve got that down. Anything else you can learn as we go. You’ve got the benefit of my years of baby-rearing too, don’t forget.” Louis’ eyes flicked up, smiling when he saw Jacob touching some soft toys on a display, and he imagined the little boy giving them to his new brothers or sisters when they were born. “Hey Jacob, if you see something you really like, let us know, okay?”

“I will!” 

“He’s going to be such a good brother,” Harry said quietly, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist, pulling him close. “I’m gonna miss him so fucking much when I leave, Lou. I really don’t want to go.” Louis pouted, knowing it was only a few weeks until Harry left for a couple of months for his tour. There was small breaks scheduled in amongst it, but other than that, it would be all they’d see of Harry until the end of November, when he’d be home for good.

“I’ll miss you too, but you know you have to do this. And until then, we can have lots of fun shopping for our children, and going to Jacob’s mad party which will undoubtedly be absolutely bonkers and nuts like our son. I love you, Haz.”

“Love you too. Can we go and look at those moses baskets? I think I’d like the babies in our room for the first few weeks at least, don’t like the thought of them sleeping alone.”

“Sure, sounds good. I had Jake in with me too until he was a couple of months old.”

They spent the next hour chatting and wandering around the baby furniture, eventually settling on a couple of white wooden cots, showing Jacob how the special drop sides worked, meaning he’d be able to touch the babies much easier when Harry and Louis were with him. They also picked two wicker Moses Baskets and stands, and Louis teared up slightly imagining their children laying in them, reliant on him and Harry for absolutely everything. He couldn’t somehow believe that nearly nine years later, he was doing all this baby thing again, but this time, he wasn’t alone, and that thought was everything. 

To their list of purchases, they also added several sets of sheets for the cots and moses baskets, two wooden changing tables, some changing mats and a few other bits Harry couldn’t resist buying. As much as Louis realised a lot of it was unnecessary, he couldn’t quite bring himself to stop Harry. He was a first time dad with regard to having a baby, and he knew nothing could wipe the smile from his husband’s face as he picked up each new thing, marvelling over it with a big smile on his face.

“What?” Harry said to Louis, sensing his gaze on him as he signed the paperwork arranging delivery to their home in a few weeks.

“That’s a shit lot of money you just spent on furniture and baby shit, Haz,” Louis mumbled, cringing at the large four figure sum on the piece of paper.

“Um, first of all,  _ we _ spent, it’s our money, Louis. And second of all, I don’t care. These are my kids, and I want to spoil them. We can afford it, and we don’t waste money, so why not?”

“Yeah, alright,” Louis agreed, sliding his hand into the back pocket of Harry’s jeans, squeezing gently, watching Harry struggle to keep a straight face as he talked to the shop assistant processing their order. He went up on tiptoes, leaning close to Harry’s ear, whispering his next words. “Bit of a turn on when you splash the cash, that’s all.”

“Oh, is it? I was gonna say, you never moan when I treat myself to something pretty to wear for you-”

Louis clapped a hand over Harry’s mouth, trying to keep his words trapped inside. Harry’s eyes were sparkling with laughter and Louis knew his own cheeks were bright red. He didn't mind shopping for the stuff they enjoyed together, enjoyed it more when Harry returned from the shops with something new, something lacy or silky inside a bag, but somehow, hearing Harry talk about it like that was affecting him in ways that weren’t appropriate in the middle of the department store. 

They walked together through to the clothing then, and Jacob stopped, eyes flitting around at the racks of colourful clothes. Louis walked over, running the soft fabric of a tiny t-shirt through his fingers, marvelling at the sight of it, noting the hanger said ‘Newborn’ for the size. 

“Jacob, you going to come and look?”

Jacob shook his head, biting his lip for a moment. Louis felt concerned, but Harry beat him over, crouching and taking Jacob’s hands in his own.

“Why not, love? Are you alright?”

“I just… I don’t want to spoil it. What the babies are, I mean. And I think I might do if I see the clothes.”

“Well, that’s fair, and well done for admitting that. Would you like to sit over here while Daddy and I have a look around quickly? We probably won’t buy much until we know, but it would be nice for us to see some of the things?”

“Yeah, okay. Can I play Candy Crush?”

“Of course,” Louis smiled, sliding his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Jacob. “We’ll be just there. Don’t move, alright?”

“I promise,” Jacob mumbled, already fixated on his game. Louis took Harry’s hand and guided him over to the racks of tiny clothes, the pair of them cooing too loudly at the small items. It felt like so long since Louis had bought babygro’s and vests, and tiny nappies for Jacob, and in a way, he couldn’t wait to start all that again. There was nothing like having a tiny warm baby in your arms in a soft cotton babygro, their little body nestled against yours, and Louis was beyond excited to hold Harry’s children.

“These things are so small, Lou. I mean, how am I gonna make sure I don’t break them when I put them in their clothes?”

“You’ll be fine, I promise. Their little arms and legs do bend, and they don’t fight you too much. Will you stop worrying? You’ve been with Ernie and Dotty before, you’re going to be amazing, Haz.”

They stopped in front of a display of more neutral themed clothes, eyeing a few things before Louis had an idea.

“Hey, Jake, come over here.”

“I can’t!”

“Please, trust me, you’ll be fine here.”

He listened as Jacob’s footsteps got nearer, and he stopped, eyes wide as he looked at the display of cream, lemon and soft green clothes. He touched a few things, and grinned, picking up a pack of soft green babygro’s with anchors and boats on.

“I like these. They’re like your tattoo Dad, look.”

Harry peered over and nodded, looking at Jacob’s little hands clutched around the packet.

“Let’s get those. They can be the first thing we buy the babies from you, Jake.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Here-” Harry slid a note out of his wallet, and Jacob skipped off to the till, chatting to the lady stood behind it as he paid, politely thanking her as he took the change, sliding it into his pocket before he swung the bag from his hand, skipping happily back to Louis and Harry, a proud look on his face. Harry accepted the change, kissing Jacob’s forehead.

“I did my first big brother thing! I can’t wait to take a picture of the babies in them and when they’re big, tell them I choosed them the clothes.”

“And they’re going to love you for them. They’re really cute. Are you ready to go?”

Louis whirled around, a little surprised at Harry wanting to go already. “We didn't get any clothes or anything, only the furniture-”

“We can come back when we know what we’re having, Lou. I just wanna grab a couple of those stuffed elephants over there, then we can go. I’m happy to wait, it’ll be nice to buy things we want for them, you know? Then I can go really mad and buy everything I want. You know what I mean?”

“I do, sounds like a plan, my love,” Louis agreed, snuggling to Harry’s chest. They finished up in the shop, thanking the few staff members who had stayed behind to help them out. They all wished Harry and Louis luck with their new children, promising to adhere to their agreements, and Louis, Harry and Jacob left, ready to head to Jay’s. They knew they were a little later than agreed but Jay wouldn’t mind. The drive over was easy, Louis navigating the streets with ease this time while Harry sent some work related emails, and before he knew it, he was parked up on his mum’s driveway, Jacob eager to get inside to see his aunts and uncles, and grandparents.

The door opened fairly quickly, and Phoebe and Daisy flew out, jumping into Harry’s arms, his husband swinging them around happily. Louis loved how easily Harry had slotted into his family, and it always warmed his heart to see them getting on so well, like Harry had always been there with them all. Louis got out of the car as he saw his mum hovering in the hallway, smiling softly at the sight of her daughters and son-in-law, and Jacob scrambled to hop down from the car when Harry opened his door, his loud voice echoing around the small street.

“Nanny! Look! I know what the babies are! I wrote it in my notebook, come and see and I can tell you!”

Louis laughed, holding Harry’s hand as they headed in together, home with their family, where they belonged. He wasn’t sure life got much better than this. 


	82. Get The Party Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry share a night in before the next day, they are kicked out of the house while Jacob prepares for the gender reveal party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excited about this one, hope you like it!
> 
> Hope to not make you wait so long for the next one :) I'm guessing you're gonna want it, lol
> 
> Thank you for still being here and reading this. Please leave your thoughts in the comments as usual, they motivate me so much, and bring me such joy! :) x

“Boobear?” Harry called across the room, and Louis looked over to him from where he was laid out on the carpet, staring at the ceiling.

“What, gorgeous?”

“I think I’m a bit drunk.” 

To finish that nicely, Harry let out a little hiccup that made Louis giggle, and he rolled onto his tummy, getting to his hands and knees before crawling over to his husband. 

“Why’d you let me drink, Lou? I feel all spinny.”

“Cos I want to get my wicked way with you, and it’s more fun when we’ve had some drinkies,” Louis replied, batting his eyelashes at Harry who was now in the process of divesting himself of his top, flinging it off to the side somewhere. “Oh yes, show me some more skin, Tomlinson…”

Harry stood up and shook his arse at Louis, making his husband laugh loudly in his drunken way. He whirled around and tried his best to walking sultrily towards Louis, who just rolled his eyes, sitting on his bum again by now, eyes raking over Harry’s body which was nicely on display for him. Harry’s legs felt a little unsteady but he carried on, hands on his hips now.

“You like what you see, hmm?”

“Yep, ‘s’why I put a ring on it,” Louis teased, holding up his left hand and waggling the finger encased in his wedding band. “Get that sexy arse here.”

Harry watched as Louis patted his thighs, and he stumbled over, falling heavily into Louis’ lap, pushing his husband back onto the floor.

“I don’t wanna go on tour,” Harry pouted, suddenly realising how much he was going to miss being like this with Louis when he left in just ten days time for his tour. He’d managed to persuade his team to start it a few days later than planned as he wanted to take Louis and Jacob to school for their first day back, but the following day he’d be flying out to Japan for the first few tour stops. It had seemed a good idea at the time, but now it was approaching, Harry was dreading having to say goodbye to his family.

“I know, love. I don’t want you to go, either. But we need to get this out of the way before our babies come, yeah? You don’t want to be away when they’re here, no way. And we have a lot to look forward to before you leave. Jake’s got this party planned tomorrow with our mums, and then it’s Ni’s birthday, and then Jake’s first day of Year 4. See?”

“I know, but I’m gonna miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you. But remember, you’re coming home a couple of times, and there’s a plan for us to pop out and possibly see you in half term too if things go to plan. Don’t fret, love, I know what you’re like.” 

“You got any ideas about this party?” Harry was grinding his hips down in small circles now, trying his best to rile Louis up. He still felt hot despite the fact he’d taken off his top, and the temptation was definitely there to remove his jeans away. He always did love being naked, especially when he’d had a few to drink, like tonight. “He seemed so excited when Mum picked him up tonight…”

“He was, wasn’t he?” Louis recalled with a big grin, clamping his hands down on Harry’s hips, slowing down his grinds. “And nope, no clue. They’ve definitely kept it close to their chests, that’s for sure. It’s a bit weird that our mums know what the babies are before us, doesn’t it?”

“Kinda, but I like that they’re part of it. I know my mum is so excited to be a Nanny again. She keeps sending me links for baby stuff, not sure she realises we’ve bought loads of shit already.” Harry laughed then, remembering the order they’d placed online last night for a fancy double pushchair, not even blinking twice at the cost of it. Harry couldn’t wait to walk down the street pushing his babies inside it, his husband and oldest child by his side. 

“It’s gonna be great, I know it is. I just can’t wait to see how Jacob’s going to tell us if they’re boys or girls. And I also can’t believe he’s actually kept it to himself this time,” Louis giggled, shaking his head, knowing how hopeless Jacob usually was with secrets.

Harry was tugging at the bottom of Louis’ tank top then, trying to get it off him but Louis refused, not wanting to bare his skin just yet. 

“Louis,” Harry pouted again, stilling his hips for a moment. “I want you naked, please.”

“You will, just not yet, yeah?” Louis shoved Harry for a moment, hopping up and darting off to the kitchen before he returned with a couple of the trail cupcakes Anne had brought by earlier, asking the boys to taste test before she, Jacob and Jay finished making the batches for the party the following day at the Tomlinson home. Louis grinned wickedly at Harry before put them on the floor near Harry’s leg, smirking as he settled himself on Harry’s thighs.

“What are you up to?”

“This.”

Louis took one of the cupcakes, the case already removed and he shoved it into Harry’s bare chest, smearing the icing all around before dropped the rest of the cake back onto the plate. Louis wasted no time in dipping his head, tongue darting out to lick a line through the smear of icing across Harry’s bare skin. Harry moaned, propping himself up on his elbows to watch Louis repeat the action, this time circling Harry’s nipples before he popped up, licking his lips of any errant icing before he leaned over, kissing Harry’s lips quickly.

“Taste so sweet,” Harry murmured, reaching for more but Louis had pulled away, shuffling down Harry’s body slightly. He brought a hand up and pushed the icing around the expanse of Harry’s flat belly, licking the icing off his fingers with a wink to Harry, making sure to suck each of his fingers in deep, feeling Harry respond underneath where he was sat on top of him. Harry couldn’t resist pushing his finger through the icing and then into Louis’ mouth, where he sucked around it obscenely for a moment, the jut of his cheekbones very obvious. “Fucking hell, Lou…”

“Be patient, babe,” Louis purred, dipping his head again and running the point of his tongue across Harry’s stomach, scooping up icing as he went. He carried on until Harry was clean, if a little sticky, and Harry’s cock was rock hard underneath his husband, not aided at all by the way Louis keep rolling his hips, pressing down on Harry. Louis leaned over Harry again then, kissing him deeply, Harry groaning at the sweet taste on Louis’ tongue, both of them kissing eagerly, spurred on from the buzz of the alcohol they’d been drinking together all night.

“Louis…” Harry moaned, bucking his hips up, hands tight on Louis’ waist now, holding him in place. “Do something, please…”

“Fine,” Louis said, going back to where he was sucking a bruise into Harry’s neck then, still grinding his hips down in circles. “What do you want?”

“Your mouth,” Harry rasped out, and he gasped as Louis nodded, sliding down Harry’s body, palming at his obvious bulge, licking his lips. “Please-”

Louis’ fingers hooked in the top of Harry’s boxers, pulling them down enough his cock sprang free, hard and leaking at the tip. Louis wasted no time in circling the head with his tongue, making Harry cry out, hands thumping against the carpet underneath him, wanting to bury himself in Louis’ warmth now. Louis must have read his mind as he took Harry’s shaft down as much as he could, and Harry’s hand flew down, resting on the crown of Louis’ head, feeling the bobs of his head as he focused on the pleasure his husband was giving him.

“Suck me so good, Lou… your mouth was made for my cock, huh?”

Louis hummed in agreement sending frissions of pleasure through Harry’s body again, and Harry had a horrible feeling he was going to come too soon. Watching Louis lick icing off his body had been enough of a turn on to get him hard, and now having Louis give him a blow job was almost too much to bear. 

Louis lifted off, a string of saliva connecting him to Harry’s cock for a moment, and Harry wished he could take a picture, remember the sight. With a sudden flash of confidence, he did just that, smirking at the sight of it before he showed Louis the photo.

“That’s a horrible picture. At least get one showing how good I am at sucking your cock, love,” Louis murmured, and Harry cried out again as Louis took him back down. He fumbled with his phone, taking a picture again as Louis looked up at him from under his eyelashes, his lips stretched around Harry’s thickness. Harry knew he’d be using that as wank material when he was on tour, and vowed to take a few more pictures like this before he left home soon. 

“Oh my god, Louis… so fucking hot, baby…”

After a few more minutes of Louis eagerly sucking him off, Harry tugged on his hair, pulling him off, much to Louis’ confusion.

“You’re gonna make me come. I wanna fuck you first,” Harry mumbled, and Louis nodded in agreement, stumbling to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re so good at that, baby.”

“Your cock is too pretty not to suck it,” Louis mumbled, helping Harry to his feet before he pulled him down into a filthy kiss. He grabbed Harry’s hand, pressing it hard on his own bulge now, and Harry didn't hesitate in sliding his other hand in the back of Louis’ underwear, dipping a finger down between his cheeks, making Louis whimper and push back into the touch. It was filthy, and hot, and everything they both needed. Jacob had been with them constantly lately, and sex had been quiet in the middle of the night, neither being able to fully let go and enjoy it as they usually did, too aware of the sleeping child down the hallway.

“Upstairs,” Harry murmured, his lips brushing Louis’ as they kissed one more time before Louis turned, yanking Harry along by his hand, carefully going up the stairs together, neither wanting to fall in their drunken state. Harry made it to the hallway before he pulled Louis back, slamming him against the wall before he kissed him deeply, his tongue probing around Louis’ mouth hungrily. “Want you here… want my cock, Lou?”

“Please,” Louis whispered, shoving his shorts down quickly, leaving him bare on the bottom half. Harry took a step back and raked his eyes down Louis’ body, eyes stopping on his hard cock for a moment. 

“Lemme just… stay there,” Harry whispered, and ran off, grabbing a bottle of lube from their bedroom before he returned, groaning at the sight of Louis leant against the wall, stroking his own cock while he waited, his other hand tucked behind himself. “Louis, what are you doing…”

“Getting myself ready for you,” Louis said, his voice low with desire.

“No, let me…” Harry replied, drizzling a bit of lube on two fingers before he twirled them in the air, indicating to Louis he should turn around which he did. His chest was pressed against the wall as Harry’s fingers disappeared between his cheeks, moaning as the first pushed inside, Harry kissing across his shoulders and neck, distracting him a bit from the slight burn of his fingers. 

Louis’ hand came down and pushed Harry’s own boxers down, his hand encircling Harry’s bare cock, making him groan as his fingers worked inside Louis, opening him up. As much as he wanted to bury himself inside his husband, he would never hurt Louis. 

“Fuck… so big,” Louis mumbled, thumb flicking over the wet head of Harry’s cock. “Can’t wait to get it inside me…”

“You’ll get it,” Harry murmured against the skin of Louis’ neck, two fingers inside him by now. “You wanna go to bed, or-”

“No. Here. I’m ready, just fuck me.”

Harry nodded and slid his fingers out of Louis’ body with a pop, wiping his hand on his t-shirt. Louis remained where he was, and Harry drizzled a little lube over his cock, knowing how tight Louis was when he was fucked standing up. He looked down to the curve of Louis’ delicious arse, over his thighs and moaned again, cock twitching in his hand. 

“Open your legs, baby…”

“Love when you talk dirty to me,” Louis teased, and Harry rubbed the head of his cock around Louis’ hole for a moment, driving the pair of them wild. “Harry, inside, now-”

“Sorry, baby.”

Harry pushed his hips up, bending his knees slightly thanks to the fact he was taller than his husband and their bodies didn't quite line up perfectly for this. He stared at the way his cock disappeared into Louis’ body until he was buried to the hilt, his hips pressed tightly against Louis’ arse. Both men stilled for a moment, catching their breath. Harry didn't want to come just yet, and he knew if he moved, he would. That it would all be over too soon.

He watched as Louis’ hand snaked down in front of his body, and slapped his arm, shaking his head.

“No. Be a good boy, Lou.”

Harry tugged Louis’ hand away and brought it up, pressing it against the wall, making Louis shudder. His other hand soon joined that one and Harry used his large hand to hold Louis at the wrists while he rocked his hips slowly, the drag of his cock in Louis’ body such an overwhelming feeling.

“You’re so tight, baby…”

“Been too long since you’ve fucked me,” Louis responded huskily, rocking slightly into Harry’s thrusts, both of them chasing what they needed. Harry could feel Louis’ arms tense under his hold, but he made no move to drop them. There was something about taking charge of Louis he loved, and in his slightly drunken state, everything felt so good to him at that moment.  Their bodies melded together easily as they stayed connected, Harry rocking slowly but steadily until he surprised Louis, pulling out nearly all the way before he slammed back inside.

“Fuck!”

“Sorry, you okay?”

“More.”

Harry smirked and did as he was asked, pounding back into his husband over and over until Louis was struggling to stay upright. Harry released his hands and pulled out, flipping Louis around, admiring how fucked out his husband already looked. Louis’ cheeks were red, his forehead was sweaty and his lips were swollen from where he’d been biting on them, trying to control himself.

“Jump up.”

Harry hooked his hands under Louis’ thigh and lifted him up, his back gliding against the wall as he went easily, Harry’s strong arms bearing his weight with ease. Harry held Louis’ arms open as he lowered him down, his cock slipping back inside Louis’ body, both men moaning at the sensation.

“So full,” Louis murmured, dropping his head onto Harry’s chest as he let himself be fucked by Harry. Harry’s arms were straining slightly but he didn't care. He pistoned his hips back and forth quickly, Louis licking at his chest now. “Harder, Haz…”

Harry complied, sure he was going to leave bruises on Louis’ back where he was thudding against the wall with each of his thrusts, but he carried on, supporting Louis’ weight as he moved between his legs.

“Love you…” Harry muttered as the bubble of his orgasm presented itself in his belly, and Harry knew it wouldn’t take much more to push him over the edge. Louis clenched around him, bringing his head up and pulling Harry into a kiss, bodies pressed together at every point of contact. Louis’ tongue delved into his mouth, and Harry stilled his hips, circling them, his cock buried as deep as it could go inside Louis’ body. “Always you.”

“Please,” Louis begged, and a tug of his fingers in Harry’s curls made Harry come hard, cursing before he muttered Louis’ name repeatedly, his come rushing from his own body into Louis’, his cock surrounded by warmth. He shuddered, collapsing against Louis’ body as Louis’ own hand snaked down to encircle his own cock.

“Let me,” Harry husked out, tapping Louis’ hand out of the way, quickly replacing it with his own. Louis’ shaft was warm and thick in his hand, precome dribbling down it from where Louis was turned on. Harry’s cock was still nestled inside Louis as he stroked him, squeezing slightly as he reached the tip, making Louis call out his name. Harry knew his husband and what he liked, and he took his time in bringing Louis to the precipice of his orgasm, their eyes locked on each other as he came, trembling underneath Harry’s touch.

Harry gently pulled out as Louis were boneless against him, and gently carried him down the corridor, through their bedroom and into the bathroom. He sat Louis down on the side while he flicked the shower on, the room filled with billowing steam. They were sweaty and sticky, and Harry needed to feel clean. He stumbled over to Louis, leaning into a deep kiss before he pulled away, peeling Louis’ top over his head, throwing it behind him on the floor. It was all very tender and calm, the opposite to how desperate they’d been in the hallway, but it felt right.

Louis was staring up at him with what Harry could only describe as love in his eyes, and he quickly stripped himself down, cradling Louis in his arms again as he stepped into the shower, the hot water beating down on both of their bodies. Harry lowered Louis gently to his feet, Louis wincing as he did so, and Harry worried he’d hurt him somehow.

“Baby, are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

“Never,” Louis smiled back, reaching up to bring his arms around Harry’s shoulders. “Just… leaking a bit.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head as he dipped his head, kissing him again. “I kinda like that…”

“You might do, but I… shit-” Louis cut off as Harry sank to his knees, turning Louis around by his hips, parting his cheeks. “Harry, I’m too- nrgh-”

Harry stared at Louis’ hole for a moment, watching the small trickle of his come slide down the inside before he leant in, lapping it up with the tip of his tongue. There was something extremely intimate about licking his own come from Louis’ body, but at the same time, Harry loved it. He loved how he could taste both himself and Louis, and the noises Louis was making were everything. 

“Harry, oh my- shit, fuck, fuckfuckfuck-”

Louis’ hand slapped wetly against the tiles, holding himself upright as Harry licked eagerly, his fingers digging into the flesh of Louis’ cheeks, keeping him open. The water was pounding down on Harry’s back now, and he changed his position slightly, trying to keep Louis warm as he cleaned up after himself, Louis’ body covered in goosebumps from an overload of feelings. Harry loved how rimming Louis made him feel. He loved being buried in Louis’ ass, his face covered in his own spit and come, loved how Louis moaned and whined, driving back for more as Harry struggled to breathe. It was so much, and so perfect.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come again-” Louis’ free hand was working over himself, and Harry allowed it, knowing how oversensitive Louis must feel, only having come a few minutes ago. Louis’ ring of muscle fluttered around Harry’s tongue as he licked inside again, taking away any remains traces of come before Louis came hard, his release splattering against the tiles and onto the floor, swirling before it disappeared down the drain.

Harry shakily got his feet, knees aching slightly but he smiled at the sight of Louis, all flushed and panting because of him. If there was one thing he loved most in the world, it was making Louis fall apart like this. Louis turned and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist, holding him tight for a moment.

“I love you so much, you know,” Louis muttered against his chest, his dainty hands resting at the small of Harry’s back. “Best husband in the world.”

“I try,” Harry joked, rutting his burgeoning erection against Louis’ thigh, slightly impressed at the fact he’d got hard again so quickly after some pretty mind blowing sex. “I love you, too. Always will do, actually.”

“Better do,” Louis mumbled, pulling back to kiss Harry, wet lips softly gliding against each others. “Cos otherwise, I might not want to do this…”

Harry gasped as Louis dropped to his knee and wrapped his lips around the head of his cock, and Harry felt like he blacked out for a moment, hands scrabbling against the glass door for purchase.

“Oh fuck… oh god- Louis!”

*****

The doorbell disturbed Harry from his sleep, and he slipped as quietly could out of bed, wanting to get to the door before they woke Louis up too. After their fun escapades in bed (and out of it) the night before, he knew Louis would be exhausted, and he managed to yank a t-shirt on over his head before he ran a hand through his hair, opening the door with the other hand.

“MORNING DAD!” Jacob yelled, launching himself at an ill-prepared Harry, who stumbled backwards before catching his balance, his son wrapping his legs around his waist tightly.

“Hey, love. Quieten down a little bit, yeah? Daddy’s still asleep upstairs…”

“Rough night, hmm?” Jay said, arching an eyebrow at her son-in-law, who had the decency to blush as Jacob wriggled down, heading into the house to greet Percy with an excited hug. Harry always wondered why the dog was so patient with the young boy, but he was so pleased that he was. “Can I leave these here, love?”

“Course you can,” Harry said, swooping in to take the large bags from her, setting them down near the wall, resisting the temptation to peer inside. “Do you need a hand with anything, Jay?”

“Not from you, love,” she replied with a laugh, hugging her son in law for a moment. “Nah, we’ve got it covered. Anne will be round soon so we can get set up. I’m so excited for the pair of you, you know. How has Louis been?”

“Yeah, really good, actually. He seems so excited like I am, doesn’t seem like anything amiss, anyway. He’s got so much better at telling me when he’s struggling. I keep catching him looking at the scan pictures we got last time, actually. It’s really sweet. I know he missed a lot with Faye’s pregnancy, so he’s really enjoying this one, I think.”

“Yeah, it was a strange time. I think he was in denial a lot with Faye. But with this one, he’s in a much better place thanks to you. He’s married, he’s settled, he’s got a proper home to raise his children in. I just… I’m so happy for you both.”

Harry flushed and grabbed Jay, hugging her again before they broke apart, listening to Jacob’s shouted words.

“Can I go and wake Daddy up? I want to get started and I can’t when you’re here!”

“Charming,” Harry muttered as he grabbed Jacob before he could run up the stairs. “Yeah, alright then. We’ll go together, okay?”

“I’ll make some tea, take your time,” Jay reassured him, and Jacob held Harry’s hand, the pair climbing the stairs together. Jacob pushed open Louis and Harry’s bedroom door quietly and crawled across the mattress. Harry kicked a few items of clothes under the bed before he joined Jacob, watching his son gently wake up his father, Louis’ eyes fluttering open slowly, a smile spreading on his face.

“Morning, Daddy! I know it’s early but I need you to wake up and get out of the house so I can plan the party, please.”

Louis chuckled as he pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, smiling at Harry and his son. “What a nice wake up call, love. Can you give us like an hour to wake up and eat, then I can leave you with Nanny?”

Jacob sighed, peering at the little watch on his wrist before he nodded. “Yes, I can allow that. But only an hour because we are going to be super busy.”

“Okay,” Louis laughed, swinging his legs out of bed and standing up. He stretched, and caught the t-shirt Harry threw him, pulling it on over his head before he kissed Jacob then Harry good morning, the three of them wandering downstairs together. They ended up in the kitchen where Jay had made them all tea, and some toast which was sat in the middle of the table.

Louis hurried to his mum and kissed her head before he pulled her into a hug, joining his family at the table. “So are you going to tell us anything about this party, or is it all a surprise?”

Jacob emphatically shook his head, a big smile on his face, jam either side of his mouth from his toast. “Nope! It’s all a secret! I wanted it to be a surprise and my Nanny’s said that was okay.”

“Of course it is,” Harry said with a smile, watching his son stuff a second slice of toast into his mouth, appetite present as usual. “I’m really looking forward to it, Jake. I think it’s lovely that you’ve done this for us.”

“To be honest, I’m shocked you’ve managed to keep it all a secret, especially about if the babies are boys or girls,” Louis teased, and Jacob poked his tongue out at his father, making the adults all laugh at him. “Nah, seriously. This is so cool, Jacob. You’re going to be an amazing big brother to the babies.”

“I love them already,” Jacob confessed, cheeks going pink with his words. “It’s ages until I can give them kisses and hugs but at the moment I can give them a special party.”

“And we’ll make sure everyone takes lots of photos, so we can show them what their big brother did for them when they’re older,” Jay said, pride on her face as she smiled, looking around the table at her son and his family. “Just think in a few months, there will be five of you around this table, eating together.”

“Silly Nanny!” Jacob burst out, his giggle filling the room. “The babies can’t eat at the table like me for ages! They have to grow big first!”

“Oops,” Jay laughed, Louis and Harry locking eyes and smiling at each other. “How did you know that, Jake?”

“I got a book,” Jacob said with a nod, and Harry’s eyes opened in alarm, wondering what his son had been reading. “Nanny Anne gave me a book on being a big brother last night, and it said things about how they have to get before they can crawl and walk and talk and stuff. It’s really cool, I’ll show you later, Dad.”

“Yeah, please, I’d love to read it with you,” Harry said, pleased his family knew about his love of baby books, and finding out every single thing he could about his growing twins. “Right, I’m done. Let me and Daddy go upstairs and get dressed and we’ll go out.”

“Yes, hurry up!” 

“He’s definitely got your impatience, Lou,” Harry muttered as they hurried upstairs, stripping off and dressing for the day, pleased they’d showered last night after the amazing sex they’d shared, not wanting to waste any more of Jacob’s morning. Once they were ready, Louis in denim shorts and a colourful t-shirt, and Harry in navy cargo shorts and a pink linen shirt, they stood in the hallway, Jacob hugging them goodbye, the little boy bouncing around on his toes in excitement.

“Be good, okay?” Louis reminded him, kissing the top of his son’s head. “Listen to your nannies, and we’ll be home when you text us and tell us you’re ready for us.”

“Okay!”

“Love you, Jake,” Harry said, hugging Jacob tightly before he stepped over Jay, doing the same to her. “Thank you for doing this with him, Jay.”

“Honestly, it’s my pleasure. I love my grandson to bits, and the fact he asked to do this shows how big his little heart is. Go and have some fun with your husband, alright?”

“I will. Bye!” Louis took Harry’s hand and practically dragged him off down the driveway and into the car, starting the engine as he sat behind the wheel. Harry turned to his husband, wondering where they were going. “Any ideas on how we’re going to waste the day?”

Louis shrugged and drove out slowly, waiting for the gates at the bottom of the driveway to open before he pulled out onto the roads which were quiet thanks to the fact it was still fairly early. “No idea. Thought we could go to town or something, just mooch around for a bit?”

“Good plan. Actually, it’s Niall’s birthday soon, we could look for something for him,” Harry said, flicking on the radio, laughing when one of his own songs came on. “Oh, Jake will be pissed he missed this, you know he loves when my songs are on the radio!”

The pair of them sang along at the top of their lungs until Louis pulled into the car park they always used, walking across to pay at the machine, popping the ticket in the windscreen before Harry laced his fingers, walking with his husband into the main town. It wasn’t too busy, and although the pair of them drew a few stares from shoppers, they were left alone and Harry appreciated it. Everyone in their town were used to seeing him around now, and he liked the sense of normality he felt around.

“Okay, where first?” 

*****

Just three hours later, Louis was slumped in a chair in a small café they’d found, his shopping bags littered around his feet on the floor. They’d shopped until they had literally dropped, but a phone call to Jacob told them he wasn’t ready for them to come just yet. Harry had suggested going to get something to eat, and they’d stumbled across a quaint little cafe which was just their cup of tea.

Harry was stood at the counter, making conversation with the older lady behind the desk, pointing out on the menu what he and Louis wanted, and Louis couldn’t resist snapping a photo of him, smiling at the photo on the screen of his phone. Harry paid and wandered back over, kissing Louis before he took a seat, stretching out his long legs opposite Louis.

“I just ordered you a bacon wrap thingy, hope that’s okay?”

“Sounds good. Got me some crisps too?”

“Yep, salt and vinegar, your favourite,” he said with a wink, and Louis just rolled his eyes, shaking his head at his husband. “Molly behind the counter said she’d bring it all over for us in a minute.”

“Molly is it? Do I need to be worried, Styles?”

“Tomlinson, and no. She’s lovely, though.”

“Why do you always befriend old women wherever you go, hmm?”

“Got an old soul, I reckon,” Harry mused, looking up as someone set down his smoothie on the table next to Louis’ can of coke. “Thank you very much.”

Louis opened the can and took a sip, shuddering slightly as the cold liquid seeped down his throat, watching as Harry merrily sucked on his pink straw, trying to ignore how obscene he looked. “You really have to use a straw for that, huh?”

Harry popped off, licking his lips for a moment before he frowned. “Yeah? Why not- oh. Really, Lou, how old are you?”

“Nearly thirty,” Louis pouted, hating any mention of his increasing age. He really didn't like the fact he was going to be in a different decade to his husband soon enough, and worse, that Harry was still only going to be twenty six as well, nowhere near approaching his thirties.

“Hey, I don’t care, remember? Quite like that my husband is a bit older than me. Anyway, age doesn’t matter, Lou. And really, thirty isn’t old.”

“You can say that being in your mid-twenties,” Louis moaned, sitting back slightly as a waitress sat down his sandwich in front of him, a salad being placed in front of Harry who thanked them again, happy to be left on their own. “Ooh, this looks good, thanks for this, babe.”

“You’re welcome, love. Can I have a taste?”

“Er, no? You chose to eat salad, tough titties- oi!”

Harry snatched the sandwich and sank his teeth in, taking an obnoxiously large bite which made Louis huff, annoyed there was nothing appetising Harry had ordered he could steal in return. 

“I’ll get you back for that later. Oh, that’s my phone, wonder if it’s Jake…”

He tapped on the phone, inputting his passcode to see it was indeed Jacob texting him from Jay’s phone. He read the message and smiled softly at the attached picture, Jacob all red-cheeked and happy looking in the garden, evidence of a party behind him.

“Oh, look at him, love.”

Harry took Louis’ phone and smiled fondly at it before he handed it back. “I’m so happy he’s excited still at the thought of being a big brother. He didn't have to be, but he really is, Lou. I just love him to bits.”

“Me too,” Louis said, taking another bite of his sandwich. “You want to go home after this?”

Harry nodded, his mouth full of salad. He swallowed and then spoke. “Well, there’s another shop I want to go to, then we can?”

“Alright.”

They chatted and ate together, Harry only getting interrupted once by a young fan asking him to sign her copy of his latest album, which he did with a smile. Harry always struggled to say no to his fans, particularly the younger ones, and Louis just ate his crisps as he watched the interaction.

“Sorry about that, Lou,” Harry muttered quietly when the fan left them alone at last.

“Nah, ‘s’fine. It’s the first one today so I can’t complain. It’s what I get for the burden of marrying a pop star I suppose.”

Harry chuckled and shook his head, nudging Louis’ ankle with the toe of his trainer. He stacked their plates and left them neatly next to their empty glass and can before they stood up, picking up the shopping bags and dividing them between himself and Louis. Louis smiled at his husband as he held the door open for him, walking out onto the quiet street, waiting for Harry to catch up. He didn't appear, and Louis turned around, watching as Harry helped a mother and her pushchair into the cafe.

He walked back to Louis, the pair walking off as Louis up at his husband, smiling to himself.

“What’s put that smile on your face, hmm?”

“Just… that’s gonna be me, soon. Or us, I should say. With a pushchair, walking around. Sounds stupid but I’ve never done that, Lou. You did, with Jake, obviously, but I can’t wait to go out with our three kids, have people tell us how beautiful they are, what a lovely family we are.”

“Aww, you softie,” Louis teased, getting close to Harry and wrapping his free arm around his waist, holding him close. “I can’t wait to see you like that, though. With our kids, a big smile on your face. You’re already a great dad to Jacob, and I know you will be to the twins, too.”

“I wish we could tell the world,” Harry said softly, guiding Louis down a small side street, stopping in front of a little boutique Louis had never noticed before. “I mean, I want to keep it ourselves, of course I do. But at the same time, I just want to tell everyone how happy I am that I’m gonna be a daddy again, that we’re being blessed with not just one baby, but two.”

Louis stroked his hand up and down Harry’s back, paying no attention to where they were for the moment. “Soon, yeah? I can’t wait to post we’ve had our babies and surprise the whole world. Imagine how good that’s going to feel.” Harry smiled and tucked two fingers under Louis’ chin, tilting it up for a kiss. “I love you. Now, where have you brought me?”

“Ah, wait and see,” Harry said cryptically, pulling open the door, letting Louis pass him before he followed, shutting the pink painted door behind him. Immediately, Louis’ eyes widened when he realised where they were.

“Harry…”

“What? I wanted something new for my collection.” Harry was entirely unashamed as he walked around the small lingerie boutique, touching a few items before Louis hurried to follow, his cheeks blazing. He loved when Harry was like this, all confident in his wants and desires, but he could feel the eyes of the girl behind the desk boring into the pair of them. They stuck out somewhat, and being that they were the only ones in the small shop, there was nowhere to hide. “Come on, Lou. Don’t be shy.”

“Bit of a role reversal, huh? I seem to recall in LA you were the one all shy about going into Victoria’s Secret with me… ooh I like those,” Louis said softly when Harry picked up a pair of cream silk knickers, touching the fabric between his fingers. “Are we buying for you?”

“Yeah. But no reason you can’t get something,” Harry mumbled, coming over to Louis and kissing him gently for a moment. “I loved it when you wore my knickers a few weeks ago, be nice for you to have something for yourself.”

“Alright then,” Louis agreed. “Actually… how about you go and pick something you’d like to see me in, and I’ll choose you something?”

“You’re on,” Harry said, a devilish grin crossing his lips. Louis watched as he darted around a nearby stand, a look of concentration furrowed on his brow. Louis wasn’t sure what he wanted to buy for his husband but he decided to take it seriously after seeing how Harry was being about the whole thing. There was a rainbow of colours in the shop, and he stood for a moment, thinking about the colours they already had at home, and what he’d like to add to their collection.

Soft music was playing in the shop and Louis found himself humming along as he walked, taking a good look at anything that caught his eye.

“Do you need any help, Sir?”

“Oh,” Louis span around, facing the young girl, sure there was a blush on his cheeks. “No, I’m fine, thank you so much.”

She nodded and bustled off, and Louis decided he wanted to pick something now. He walked back to where he’d seen a soft mint green pair of cheeky knickers that he knew would look amazing on his husband, and he flicked through, picking a size he hoped Harry would fit into. As much as Louis knew he could go online and buy lingerie meant specifically for men, he knew Harry liked wearing women’s pieces, and the way they fit his body. 

He nodded to himself, and turned to see a pair of lavender knickers that matched, and he grabbed some of those as well before he changed his mind, not caring how much money he was spending. He knew Harry would appreciate it. He went quietly to the till and laid the items out, the girls quickly wrapping them in pale lemon tissue paper before she asked for payment. Louis nodded and slotted his debit card into the reader, taking the bag from her with a thanks before he turned around to leave-

“Oh!”

“Sorry, baby, you done?” Harry hid the items in his hand behind his back, so Louis waggled his eyebrows at him, nodding before he walked away, stepping into the street outside the shop. It only took a few minutes for Harry to join him, an identical bag to Louis’ own dangling from his fingertips.

“Home then, love?”

“Home,” Harry confirmed, taking Louis’ hand and pulling him into a quick and gentle kiss before they walked back to their car, both eager to get back for the party.

When they arrived home, Jacob flung the door open, grinning at his parents. They were a bit confused by his attire given the weather but just shrugged it off, knowing Jacob most definitely had his own sense of style like Harry did. 

“You can only go upstairs! You need to get changed and look good-”

“Cheers, Jake,” Louis muttered, keeping his shopping bags in his side lest anyone see what they’d been buying.”

“You can get dressed and do your hair and come downstairs and I will take you outside, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” Harry joked, and ruffled his son’s hair before making for the staircase, calling Louis to follow him. They arrived in their bedroom, and Harry stowed their purchases in the top of his wardrobe for later. He pushed Louis against the wardrobe then, kissing him roughly for a moment before they reluctantly parted, both keen to get to the party. Louis could hear music being played downstairs, and given it had been three of Harry’s tracks in a row, he assumed their son was in charge of music too.

Louis slipped into a denim shirt with a white t-shirt underneath, and some black shorts, while Harry changed into a green shirt, leaving on the shorts he’d had on earlier. They stood side by side at the mirror in their bathroom, Harry ordering Louis not to shave as they did their hair, Louis swooping his into a quiff, while Harry just shook his own curls a bit, leaving them loose.

“Ready, Lou?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Louis confirmed, taking Harry’s hand and walking downstairs with his husband. “Jacob, we’re here!”

They listened as little footsteps ran at the pair of them, and Jacob stopped, hands on his hips as he appraised their outfits. He nodded when he seemed pleased, and stood between them, taking their hands.

“Okay, so it’s all ready! I hope you like it!”

“We’ll love it, sweetheart. Are you going to take us outside now?”

Jacob nodded and tugged on his parents hands, pulling them in the direction of the garden. They rounded the corner and Louis’ eyes widened as he saw a fairly large of number of people waiting for them, squinting as they stepped out into the sunshine.

“Surprise!” everyone yelled, and Louis bit his lip, looking across to Harry who was beaming, his fair full of utter delight at the people gathered together just for them.

As Louis looked around, he smiled at their guests. Both of their families were there, of course, including some of their grandparents too, and a few aunts and uncles they didn't see as often as they should. Liam was there, as was Zayn with his Mum and sisters, Stan was stood there with a few other colleagues from Louis’ school, and Niall had a beer in his hand as he chatted easily with Robin and Dan. But the biggest surprise of all was-

“Shannon!” Harry practically squealed as he saw their surrogate, and hurried over, Louis hot on his heels. It had only been a couple of weeks since they’d last seen her for the scan, but she’d grown even bigger since then. They had an inkling Jacob was inviting her since she’d spoken about the party before, but seeing her in the flesh was wonderful.

Louis watched fondly as Harry dropped to his knees, hands on her belly as he spoke softly to his children inside, a look of complete adoration on his face. Anne was looking on from the side as well, her hand on her heart as she watched her youngest son converse with his unborn children, and Louis met her eye for a second, both of them emotional at the sight of Harry.

“You look amazing, love,” Louis said, finally coming to his senses as he leaned in, kissing her cheek. “How have you been?”

“Great, actually,” she said, a big smile on her face. “What an amazing party your little boy has put on here.”

Louis glanced around, seeing the table full of food by the fence, a small table containing presents, and then a few other things he couldn’t work out dotted around. 

“Yep, he’s pretty cool. We’re very lucky our mums have helped him out with this.”

Harry got to his feet, and looped his arm around Louis’ waist, holding him close.

“Oh, let me finally introduce you guys to my family.”

They nodded and followed Shannon across the garden at her own pace, Louis smiling slightly as he recognised the waddle of heavy pregnancy that he’d seen on his own mum too many times now. They came to a stop next to a man with a kind looking face, a few children stood by his legs, all looking a little overwhelmed.

“Oi, Jake, come here a minute,” Harry called, and Jacob came running, stopping next to Harry and slotting his hand into Harry’s. 

“Harry, Louis, this is my husband, Jack. This is my oldest daughter, Ava, she’s ten now. This is Shane, our son, he’s eight, and of course, you know Milly…”

“Hi,” the little girl said, waving her hand before she buried her face in her dad’s leg, shyness overcoming her. 

“So good to meet you,” Jack said, outstretching his hand and shaking both Louis’ and Harry’s with a smile. “Shannon talks about you two a lot, she says you’re wonderful people.”

“Ah, that’s very kind,” Harry muttered, looking a little awkward now, which Louis was puzzled by. “I, uh, thank you for being on board with this, your wife having my children, I mean…”

Louis smiled to himself. Only Harry would be awkward about this.

“Hey, my wife’s body is her own. She’s always loved pregnancy, and the idea of helping people become parents is something I can get on board with. Got to admit, I was a bit shocked when she told me it was twins, but she’d handling it really, well I’m proud of her.”

“She looks wonderful,” Louis agreed, looking over to where Shannon was talking with Jacob and Shane, the two little boys nodding along to whatever she was telling them, smiles on their faces. 

“You two mind what the babies are, then? You’re brave telling your son before you know, I’m sure my three could never keep quiet this long…”

“We’re shocked Jacob has, if we’re honest,” Louis admitted, making Jack laugh. “But he’s so excited, and he’s been amazing. We were worried about how he’d take the news of a new baby, but he’s been brilliant. This has helped him feel part of it all, I think.”

“And no, I don’t care if I have sons or daughters as long as they’re healthy,” Harry confided, Louis nodding alongside him. He looked down as someone tugged at his shirt, resting a hand on the top of his son’s head.

“Can you come with me please, Dad?”

Harry nodded and excused himself, Louis coming along with them. Jacob showed them some of the decorations they’d put up, blue and pink balloons and streamers hanging all around from various trees and bushes in the garden, a banner he’d made saying “TOMLINSON BABY SHOWER” coloured in a rainbow of colours, and the cake sat to the side that they apparently weren’t allowed to cut just yet.

“So, when do we get to find out then?”

“Soon,” Jay said, walking over to the pair, greeting them both with kisses on their cheeks. “We thought there was no point in waiting, so we’ll do that bit first, then we can all enjoy the party and celebrate with you, if that sounds alright with you?”

“Sounds perfect,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s hand lightly. 

“Ooh, come and see the cakes I made with my Nanny’s!” Jacob squealed, yanking Louis away by his hand. They stood and admired them for a while, Louis trying not to giggle at how obvious it was which ones Jacob had decorated compared to either of their mothers. 

After a short while, Jacob was whisked away by Anne, and the three of them disappeared into the house for a minute before Jacob bounded back out, nodding to Jay who turned the music off, making everyone quieten down. Jacob looked nervous then with all eyes on him, and Louis rested his head on Harry’s shoulder, listening intently as their son spoke, addressing everyone.

“Um… I made this party for my dads cos they’re having babies, and only I know whether they are boys or girls, and I get to tell them.”

Jacob glanced across to Jay, who nodded softly, and Jacob came, taking Louis and Harry by the hands, leading them over to a couple of chairs that were sat out. They sat down, sharing a secret smile for a moment, hands still laced between them. Louis could see the nerves on his husband’s face, and suddenly, he couldn’t wait to find out.

“The doctor told me about the babies in Shannon’s belly, and now I am going to show you all if they are boys or girls. Shannon, could you please come and sit with my daddies?”

Everyone looked to her and she nodded, taking a seat by Harry’s hand, letting him take her side as they watched Jacob intently as he fiddled nervously with the zip of the hoodie he was wearing and had refused to take off.

“I thought about how to tell you, and I spent lots of time on the Google with Nanny but all the ideas were boring and I hated them.”

A titter of laughter rang around the gathered people then, and Jacob smiled, clearly happy people were enjoying his speech. 

“So I camed up with my own idea. I know my daddies love their tattoos on them, so I did that on me too.”

“You… what?” Louis asked, raising an eyebrow at his mum, who just shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

“I got tattoos to tell you if the babies are boys or girls. You and Daddy have lots of pictures on you for each other, and for me, so I got some too.”

Harry squeezed Louis’ hand, and leaned in whispering “Oh my god, this is it” into his husband’s ear before he sat up again, eyes focused on Jacob.

“So… here we go. I am so super happy to tell you, Dad and Daddy, that the babies are…”

Slowly, he pulled down the zip of his hoodie, bearing the Harry tour t-shirt he’d picked out, leaving his arms covered up.

“I’m going to be having…”

Anne held the sleeve of one arm as Jacob withdrew it from his hoodie.

“Baby....”


	83. Baby, I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry finally find out the sex of their unborn twins, and enjoy every second of the party afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've struggled with whether or not to post this after Félicité's death just over a week ago. However, lots of people have asked for it, and I think many find comfort in fic at times like these, losing yourself in a happier world can sometimes help. I've personally found it nice to step back into this, and if you need to step away and wait for a while before you read this, that's okay too. I chose not to include Félicité in this chapter although she was originally meant to have been written in, but it just didn't feel right.
> 
> I hope people don't think I am careless, or that I am posting too soon. It's hard to make a decision that keeps everyone happy.
> 
> That being said, if you are here looking to be cheered up, I hope this does the job. I know I've kept you waiting, so fingers crossed it'll make you smile!
> 
> Please do leave me comments on your thoughts, I know this one has been long awaited! Finally, all the good is happening for my little Tomlinson family.
> 
> Lots of love to you all. x
> 
> P.S. Hope you like the social media posts at the end, hehe!

“I’m going to be having…”

Harry held his breath, hand held tightly in Louis’ as Jacob slowly started to shrug the sleeves of his hoodie off, Anne sending her son a cheeky smile from where she was stood next to her grandson.

“Baby…”

Jacob finally removed the sleeve, his arm glinting in the sun, and Harry’s jaw dropped, tears immediately filling his eyes, Louis’ hand squeezing his so tightly he was sure it would stop his bloody supply.

“SISTERS!! THE BABIES ARE GIRLS!” Jacob screeched, and everyone around them cheered loudly. 

Harry tried to hold himself together but he knew it was impossible. The tears started to flow almost immediately, and he felt himself be swept into Louis’ arms, being held tightly against his husband as Jacob’s words settled in.

“Girls, Lou… we’re having girls, oh my god…”

“Fuck, I’m gonna have two daughters, Haz. Oh my GOD!” Louis threw back his head and practically screamed the last word, laughing afterwards, full of complete joy that was entirely infectious. By now, Harry’s tears were flowing freely, tumbling down his cheeks as his heart rabbitted in his chest, every part of him fizzing with excitement now.

“Dad, Daddy, we’re having girls in the house at last!”

Harry finally pulled himself away from Louis as he heard their son running over, and Louis scooped him up, holding him between both of them. Harry took the chance to finally look at Jacob’s arms, admiring the plethora of glittery pink tattoos lining his son’s skin. He couldn’t stop smiling as he took in all the pictures Jacob had chosen, from pink unicorns, pink hearts, pink stars, even a pink skull and crossbones that somehow seemed very Jacob.

“Oh, love… these are amazing! Were they your idea?”

“Yep! Me and Nanny Jay looked on the eBay to find them and we put them when you and Dad were shopping! Did you buy anything nice?”

“Um… oh this tattoo is so cool!” Louis spluttered out as Harry smothered a tearful laugh, pointing out a funky pink car on Jacob’s left forearm, Jacob nodding proudly down at it.  “So… sisters, hmm? You were right…”

“Of course I was right,” Jacob said indignantly, putting his hands on his hips as Louis finally set him down on the floor. “I need to go and find Nanny again, we have a game to play!”

Jacob ran off, and Louis barrelled into Harry’s arms again, Harry still sniffing away the tears. It was only when Zayn, Liam and Niall came over that they stopped hugging, turning into the arms of their friends as they sent their congratulations for the pair in having daughters. It didn't matter how many times Harry heard or said it, it didn't seem real.

As Niall finally released him from a hug, Shannon caught Harry’s eye, her hand on her daughter’s shoulder as she kissed her mum’s bump, a big smile on her face. Harry slid his hand into Louis’ and tugged gently, getting his attention, both of them staring at the scene.

“Let’s go talk to her,” Harry murmured, and Louis nodded, the pair thanking their friends again before they walked off, Harry quickly bringing Shannon into a cuddle while Louis shook hands enthusiastically with Jack, smiles on everyone’s faces. “Girls! Did you have any idea? You happy?”

“So happy for the pair of you, are you two happy?” she answered, wincing slightly, causing Harry to panic.

“What’s the matter, are you oka-”

“Harry, I’m fine. Your daughters are wriggly, and my muscles are stretching. It’s all good, nothing I haven’t felt before. Oh, thank you, Louis…” she sat down as Louis brought over a chair, lowering herself gently and Harry knelt in front of her.

“Can I…”

“Course you can.” Harry smiled and reached forward, setting his hands on the roundness of Shannon’s bump, feeling immediately connected to his daughters growing inside her. “And to answer your question… I didn't know about them being girls, no. Everything feels so different about this pregnancy, I’ve never carried twins before, so it was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to both of you.”

She turned and chatted to Louis while Harry had a moment, marvelling over the fact he was going to welcome twin girls into the world, twins that were his and Louis’. He closed his eyes, imagining how they’d look… whether they’d have his green eyes, or his dark curly hair, if they’d have Louis’ cheeky temperament and take after their brother, or just be calmer and quieter like Harry. There was so much to look forward to, and Harry felt overwhelmed, his breaths coming out short and shaky.

There was a warm hand on his back then, and Harry turned around, looking into the eyes of his Mum.

“Oh, mum…”

He got up and allowed her to hug him, trying to collect himself for a moment. It felt almost too much, that every dream he’d ever had was coming true, and he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to be living this life, to be having two daughters with his husband, adding to their already perfect family. She soothed him with whispered words, Harry sinking into her embrace.

“I’m so happy for you my darling, I’m going to have two beautiful granddaughters soon… you and Louis are going to be wonderful daddies, and those girls are going to be gorgeous. Are you okay?”

Harry sniffed and nodded, pulling back to wipe his eyes with his hands. “Yeah, I will be. I’m just… overwhelmed, I guess? I think I’d have reacted this way if Jake had said boys as well, to be honest. I just… it feels so real now, Mum. In like four months, I’m gonna have three kids. I’m going to be a father of three. Oh my god…”

“Hey…” Anne held her son by the shoulders for a moment, staring into his eyes. “You’re going to be okay, you know? You’ve got Louis with you, and he’s done this before.  You’re both going to be great at this, I know you are.”

“You really think so?” Harry asked, seeking reassurance from the person in the world who knew him as well as his husband did.

“I really do. Now come on, it looks like Jake’s got a game set up for us to play…”

*

“Louis, you were so cute!” Harry cried gleefully, clutching a baby photo of Louis that Jay had provided for the game she and Anne had thought up, Jacob keen to get involved. They’d set up a board of baby photos of Louis, Harry and their closest friends and family, and everyone had to guess who was in each picture. Some of them were trickier than others, but Harry didn't care. He loved looking at all the photos, and the ones of Jacob made his heart melt all over again.

“Me? Look at you with your little teddy bears and cute hats… and what the heck was this?! A Christmas hat and gloves on your hand in mid-summer?”

“I was making up my fashion rules even then,” Harry laughed, cringing at the photo of himself Louis was how making heart eyes at. He couldn’t wait to start taking photos like this of his own daughters in a few years time, and the thought made his heart feel full. “You reckon you’ve got them all then?”

“Yeah, I’m good at this sort of thing,” Louis replied confidently, and Harry tried to peer across at his answer sheet. “Oi, stop cheating! I’m not having you copy my answers, husband or not.”

“Rude.” Louis laughed and leaned over to kiss Harry, all the while keeping his answers hidden. 

“Is everybody done? You’re taking forever!” Jacob called out, and the gathered adults laughed, huddling towards the boy, who had the answer sheet clipped to his little clipboard. “I’m gonna read out the answers, are you ready?”

“We are!” Everyone called, and Jacob grinned, stood on a little stool so everyone could see him.

“Okay… picture one is my daddy, Louis. Picture two is my Uncle Zaynie, and three is Lottie.”

This carried on while Jacob revealed the answers of the rest of the photos to the guests, groans and cheers flying up as each one was told to them. Louis’ face was becoming more thunderous as it went on, and Harry tried hard to bite back his own smile, having a feeling he was doing better than his husband was. Niall and Zayn were laughing to themselves over in one corner, while Liam was stood with Gemma, comparing answers, the pair of them getting on well.

“And the last one, number twelve is Nanny Anne! Who got them all right?”

Harry looked around the garden before he slowly raised his hand, trying not to laugh as Louis’ jaw dropped next to him. Everyone applauded as Harry made his way over to Jacob, handing over his sheet which Jay and Jacob looked at before confirming yes, Harry had got them all right. Jacob hopped off his stool and ran to a little table by their back doors, grabbing a little medal from it and running back to Harry, looping it around his neck.

“Well done Dad! You’re the winner! You did so good!”

“Thank you, love,” Harry replied with a smile, grabbing Jacob and cuddling him tight for a minute. “This is an amazing party, by the way. You’re doing such a great job of running things. What’s next?”

“Um…”

Jacob looked to Jay, who leaned in, whispering something in his ear for a minute.

“PRESENTS!”

The family and friends walked over to a table where a few gifts sat. Harry and Louis had told most of their guests that they didn't want presents, that they’d rather people donate to charity or send things to Women’s shelters since they were able to buy anything they needed themselves. However, there were a few gifts on there, and Harry and Louis sat together on a bench, while the others dragged over stools, chairs or camping chairs that had been dotted around the lawn. 

“Okay, the first one is from me,” Anne began, handing them a present wrapped in soft yellow paper with dummies and other baby images dotted over it. “Now, I knew what you were having so these were done with that in mind.”

Louis handed the beautifully wrapped gift to Harry, who accepted it with a small smile. He carefully unpicked one of the end before he lifted the bigger flap across the parcel, baring the present. He gasped as he reached for the present, lifting one up, Louis grabbing the other and holding it up. Inside were two beautiful handmade blankets that Harry knew would look beautiful on the side of the cots they’d ordered. One was soft lilac and the other soft pink, and they were amazingly designed. Harry sat for a moment, imagining cradling one of his daughters wrapped in it, and he felt himself getting quite tearful.

“Mum, they’re…” he stopped speaking as his voice cracked, and Louis took over, sensing Harry was too emotional at the moment to speak.

“We love them, Anne. Thank you, they’re so beautiful.” He gently set his blanket to one side and got to his feet, hugging Anne quickly before she stepped over to her son, hugging him tightly for a moment as Louis busied himself folding the blankets again, wanting to keep them clean and fresh for their children.

“Okay, my turn,” Jay grinned, handing Louis a blue gift bag, white tissue paper covering the top of the gift. Louis dove in, throwing the tissue onto the floor by his feet and fished out two identical baby record books, handing one to Harry to flick through. “I know when Jacob was a toddler you told me you regretted not having a book to remember all his milestones in, so I thought you’d both like to do them for these babies.”

“Jay, that’s amazing. I never even know something like this existed… we’ll definitely do these, right, Lou?”

“Yeah, we will. You remembered that, Mum?”

“Course, darling. You like them?”

Louis nodded and hugged her quickly as Harry sat Jacob on his knee, showing him the book and how they could all fill it in together. The next few gifts were lovely too. Liam gave them a token for free babysitting, promising they could use it for either him looking after just Jacob while the babies were on their way, or for all three children when they needed a break. Zayn promised to paint them a mural in the nursery, one of their choosing, and Louis had been a bit excited by that thought, eagerly pulling up a couple of images he’d saved on his phone in case they decided to hire someone to decorate for them. The idea of their friend doing it, though, was even better.

Niall had bought them matching baby bouncers, because he quite honestly declared he knew nothing about babies, and his mum told him they’d be useful. Everyone had laughed at that, but Louis knew he was right, that they’d appreciate them when the girls were old enough to sit in them and watch what was going on around them.

After that, they cut the cake, the sponge inside tinted pink thanks to Jacob’s love of food colouring, and everyone ate the wonderful spread Anne, Jay and Jacob had put on. Harry and Louis mingled with their guests, chatting with their friends and family, accepting the many rounds of congratulations that were being bestowed on them.

Jacob had taken off to his tree house with Shannon’s children Shane and Milly, the three of them eating up there and talking about goodness knows what. Harry thought it was sweet Jacob had befriended Shane so easily, hoping the two would continue to be friends once the twins arrived. He looked off, squinting into the sun as he watched Jack help lower his pregnant wife into a chair, kissing the top of her head before he wandered off with their eldest daughter in tow, chatting to Dan and Jay now. Harry left Louis talking with Zayn as he headed over, grabbing a stool and popping it down next to her.

“Hey,” he said, Shannon looking over and smiling at him as she rubbed her bump, looking quite serene.

“Oh hi, Harry. This party is just wonderful, Jacob’s done an amazing job. You must be so proud of him.”

“We really are, he’s taken to the idea of being a big brother like a duck to water. I think this whole party has made him feel more connected to the pregnancy and the idea of being a big brother. He’s so excited… it’s lovely to see, it really is.”

“He’s going to be a great big brother,” Shannon agreed, tugging Harry’s hand over as the babies started to kick. Harry grinned broadly as his hand was attacked by several little arms and feet, Harry moved by the fact his daughters felt like they were saying hi to their daddy. “God, they’re active today. I think they know something’s going on, they’re normally quite peaceful…”

“Well, I’m glad they are, it’s so lovely to feel them,” Harry murmured, rubbing his hand gently over Shannon’s stomach. “I’m so glad you could make it today, and it’s great to meet your husband and kids as well. I think it’s sometimes easy to forget they’re part of this, too. Jacob’s really taken a shine to your son. If Jake wants, Lou and I would love to have Shane over for a sleepover or something?”

“I’m sure he’d love that, he’s always looking for boys to play with, there’s only so many tea parties and barbie catwalks he wants to play!”

Harry laughed at that, understanding entirely. As the little brother, he’d often been dragged into Gemma’s games when he was a little boy, and although he’d never minded dressing up in her extra Cinderella outfit or sitting at the table with plastic tea cups and plates for a spontaneous picnic, he knew it wasn’t every boys cup of tea.

“We’ll set something up, for sure. Jacob loves to make new friends.”

The rest of the party passed by fairly peacefully, going on until Shannon and Jack had to leave since they had a fairly lengthy drive home. Harry had hugged her back for a few minutes, reluctant to let her and his daughters leave, but she promised to send some more photos soon, and that they’d meet up again soon enough. He’d wiped away a tear as the family had driven away, and Jacob had told Shane he wanted him to come over and play soon, which made Harry smile.

Eventually, all of the guests left, most of them helping to clear up before they did so. Jacob was getting tired and was curled up on the sofa in the living room, watching some Top Gear with Jay and Anne while everyone else helped out, throwing out paper plates and wrapping paper while Louis, Niall and Liam carried the gifts up to the room that would be the nursery, wanting to get them out of the way but safe as well. The three Tomlinson’s stood at the door while they waved their friends and family off, thanking them for the gifts and for coming, promising to see everyone soon. Anne offered to cook a roast for the entire family on Sunday, and everyone agreed, waving as they drove off, leaving Louis, Harry and Jacob alone once more.

“Come on you, bedtime,” Louis said, ruffling his tired son’s hair as he yawned yet again. “Go upstairs and get in your jammies, then Dad and I will come and kiss you goodnight.”

“Can I have some more story please?” Jacob asked, rubbing at his eyes as he headed towards the stairs.

Harry nodded, smiling fondly at Jacob. “Of course you can, get ready nice and quickly and I’ll come up.”

Jacob blew his parents a kiss as he trudged up the stairs, followed by Percy who was also worn out from a day in the sunshine, bounding in and out of the legs of his guests before he’d fallen asleep on the sofa. Harry and Louis left them to it for a moment as they walked back through the house, Louis going off to double check he’d locked the back doors before he perched on the sofa next to his husband, glancing over at him.

“Had a good time, then?”

“The best,” Harry replied with a big grin, feeling a bit tired now if he was honest. It had been an emotional time for them all, and now everyone had gone, he was feeling the after effects. “It was so amazing to see Shannon again, I can’t believe how big her bump is, she’s only twenty four weeks. I hope we can see her again soon, maybe when I’m back from tour?”

“That’d be good. I’ll arrange to have Shane over here as well while you’re away, might be a good distraction for-”

“DAD! DADDY! I’M READY FOR BED!” Jacob hollered from upstairs, interrupting Louis. Both men stood, climbing the stairs slowly and entering Jacob’s bedroom, the boy in his blue pyjamas on his bed, their bedtime story sat in his lap. Harry had been reading  _ Billionaire Boy _ to their son, and he took the book, removing the bookmark as Louis settled Jacob on his lap, ready to listen. As always, Harry used a plethora of silly voices as he read, making the characters come alive, and Louis and Jacob giggled along as they listened to every word, following the story eagerly.

Harry only stopped when Jacob’s eyes started to drift closed, and despite the protestations of the little boy, he set the book back on the shelf as Louis tucked him in, making sure his teddies surrounded him. 

“Thank you so much for today, love,” Louis began, stroking Jacob’s hair out of his face as his eyes closed slowly, drifting into sleep already. “You really did throw the most amazing party.”

“I love my sisters,” the boy mumbled tiredly. “I’m super happy that they are girls, I told you, I was right.”

Harry nodded, leaning in to kiss Jacob goodnight. “You were. Like you said, big brothers know these things. You sleep well, okay? Come in and give us a cuddle in the morning if we’re still in bed when you wake up.”

“Okay-” Jacob cut himself off with a big yawn, and Louis and Harry stood up, wanting to let their boy sleep. “Night dads, love you both so much.”

“We love you too,” Louis muttered, flicking off the light by Jacob’s bed. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight Jacob,” Harry called softly, and they left the room, pulling the door shut behind them, leaving it ajar enough for a slither of light to creep in until Jacob was sound asleep. “You wanna go to bed?”

Louis nodded, and Harry pecked his lips before he went back down with Percy, letting him out for a final wee before he returned upstairs to his husband. Louis had opened the window slightly, letting a cool breeze drift in, and he was laid on top of the covers, texting on his phone as Harry entered, shutting their door behind him. He pulled off his clothes, chucking them on the armchair, deciding for once to deal with them in the morning before he walked through to the bathroom, making quick work of brushing his teeth.

When he got back, Louis had Harry’s baby book open and was reading intently, so Harry joined him, peering over his husband’s shoulder to read the words on the page.

“Says here at twenty four weeks, the babies-”

“Our daughters,” Harry corrected with a grin, and Louis looked up, smiling equally as widely.

“It says our daughters are the size of pomegranates, and that they can hear music now, and can be calmed by it. Oh my god, we have to play them some of your songs, Haz. I want them to know their daddy’s music when they’re born, that would be amazing.”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed out, touched by the fact Louis wanted that. “What else does it say, Lou? Read it to me.”

“Okay… uh, they’ve got white hair and white eyelashes still, cos they’ve got no pigments in, and their faces are formed now, proper little babies. They’re about thirty centimetres long now, and apparently, they’re viable too.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, if, god forbid, they came now, they’d have a good chance of survival.”

“Fuck-”

“I know, love. But Shannon’s good, the girls are good, so we just have to wait it out, yeah?  Be patient.”

“I wanna meet them, Lou,” Harry confessed, taking the book and putting it back on his own bedside table, snuggling into Louis’ side for a moment. “I want to see their little faces, hold their little bodies against mine, kiss their little faces all night long. We’re actually having girls, Louis. Daughters. I don’t know what to do with girls!”

“Nor do I,” Louis giggled in reply, pushing Harry back against the mattress. “I mean, I’ve changed my sisters nappies often enough but still… raising girls is a whole different ball game I reckon.”

“Yep… god, got to do their hair every morning, deal with them getting boyfriends, having periods, first bras…”

“Jeez, Haz, they’re not even born and you’re worrying about taking your daughters shopping for their first bras! Calm down a bit…”

“Just thinking ahead,” Harry teased, letting Louis kiss him for a moment. “In all seriousness though… this is like every dream I ever had coming true. I can’t… I don’t have the words to tell you how happy I am, how complete I feel know we’re having two girls soon enough.”

“You thought of any names?” Louis said, propping himself up on an elbow and Harry nodded enthusiastically, eyes wide. “Yeah? Gonna tell me?”

“I’d like to name them after someone special to me, Lou.”

“Okay then… who?” 

“I think they’d be lovely if we named them Gucci and McQueen. What do you think?”

Louis kept a straight face for all of a second before he burst into laughter, slapping Harry’s bum as the pair laughed together, rolling around on the bed now.

“Well, if that’s the case, I wanna name them Vans and Converse,” Louis giggled back, Harry trying to shush him with a hand across his mouth, knowing Jacob was asleep just down the hall. Louis stilled at that, staring down at his husband before Harry removed his hand, tugging Louis down into a deep kiss. It was the first time they’d really been able to kiss since the party started earlier, and now, all the built up emotion of the day was finally coming out. 

Harry parted his legs, letting Louis settle between them, his weight almost entirely resting on Harry’s torso now. Louis’ hands were in his hair, touching and pulling as they kissed desperately, showing their obvious need for each other. Harry felt glad they weren’t really wearing any clothes as Louis pushed his hips down, making Harry moan low in the back of his throat, needing more already.

“Louis, can we…”

Louis just nodded and his hands went down, pulling his own boxers off before he took Harry’s off as well, both of them bare at last. As they kissed, Louis’ hand delved into the drawer at the side for the lube, throwing it onto the bed as he separated their kiss, looking questioningly at Harry, who just pulled Louis into another kiss. Louis seemed to understand because he worked the bottle open, drizzling some on his fingers, his hand snaking down between their bodies, and between Harry’s legs.

“Please-” Harry begged, only whimpering as Louis pushed a finger inside gently, taking care as he always did not to hurt his husband. Louis kissed Harry through it, murmuring words of love to him as his fingers slowly opened Harry up for him, the room entirely silent around them. Harry loved that they could be emotional around each other like this, open to taking what they needed from each other.

“You want it like this, baby?” Louis rasped out, his voice low as he mumbled against Harry’s lips, his husband nodding quickly. Louis removed his three fingers carefully, wiping them on the sheet as he reached down between them, barely separating their bodies. Their chests were sweaty now but Harry liked how it felt, how their skin slid against each other with every moment they made together. He held his breath as Louis teased him with the head of his cock, biting down on his lip as finally, Louis pushed forward, breaching Harry’s body.

“Oh god, Louis…” Harry breathed out, closing his eyes as his body stretched around Louis’ length. Something felt so right about having Louis inside him right now, and Harry brought his legs up around Louis’ waist, holding him inside him tightly for a moment as Louis pushed all the way in. “Really need this after today… just.... God, was a bit overwhelmed with it all, you know?”

Louis just nodded, rocking his hips gently back and forth a little, allowing Harry to get used to the burn for a moment. His elbows were on the pillow either side of Harry’s head, and almost every inch of their bodies were touching. Harry loved it when he felt consumed by Louis, that he was entirely enveloped by his husband and the love they had, and he just laid back, deciding to let Louis completely take charge, to be in control of both of their pleasure.

Sex between them was loving and slow. Louis moved his hips as Harry arched into each thrust, taking Louis deeper each time. They didn't speak, saying everything they needed to with their movements, how their bodies were connected, their hands now entwined. Louis had barely stopped kissing Harry, sucking light bruises into his neck, and Harry had just let him, focusing on every sensation Louis was making him feel. 

It seemed to go on forever. Louis shifted himself every now and then, flattening Harry’s legs against the bed for a while before he moved them back around his waist again, finally sliding his arms under Harry’s neck, bringing them closer together again. Harry was hot, he was completely in a daze with how good he felt, and he wished Louis never had to stop. He felt loved, he felt wanted, and there was no better feeling in the world. He was close to finishing now, and he sensed Louis was too, his husband losing his rhythm slightly, hips faltering every other thrust.

Louis’ fingers wiggled out of Harry’s hold for a minute, coming to tangle in Harry’s curls, yanking slightly. Harry’s breath hitched as he did so, knowing Louis knew exactly how hair pulling affected him, and they locked eyes as Louis did it again, delivering a deep thrust at the same time. Harry knew he couldn’t hold on much longer, that Louis’ actions were going to make him come, and he kissed Louis again, his tongue pushing into Louis’ mouth, tasting every part of him.

Surprisingly, Louis came first, breathing deeply, his body shuddering through his orgasm, still thrusting slowly as he brought Harry to release with his hand, biting Harry’s lip gently as he came too between their bodies, leaving a mess in his wake. Louis released Harry’s cock, falling down on top of him, the two of them panting as Harry hugged Louis, fingertips tracing up and down his spine gently, making Louis hum in pleasure.

“Needed that,” Louis murmured, his hot breaths warming Harry’s skin again. “Just, I dunno, wanted to feel connected to you after today.”

“Mmm,” Harry hummed in agreement, shifting slightly so Louis could come out of him. As much as he liked Louis staying in him for a while after sex, he felt a little sore and uncomfortable. Louis winced as he pulled out, coming to curl up against Harry’s side as soon as he was free, kissing Harry’s chest. “Love you so much.”

“Love you more,” Louis murmured back, his voice low and heavy with sleep, both of them needing some rest. “Can we spend the day with just us tomorrow? I loved today, I really did, but it’d be nice to chill at home, just the three of us.”

“Sounds perfect,” Harry whispered back, eyes shut now. “Be the five of us soon, Lou.”

“I know, darling,” Louis smiled back, and despite the darkness, Harry could almost feel the smile radiating from him. “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I…” were the last words Harry spoke that night, the two of them finally succumbing to sleep.

*****

The next morning, Louis took in a deep breath as he woke from his sleep, blinking blearily up at the ceiling. He knew the covers weren’t on him as he felt a breeze drift across his body, and he realised he’d probably left the window open last night before he’d made love to Harry, neither of them willing to get up afterwards to close it. Louis smiled with the memories of what they’d done last night, and the amazing news of their baby girls they’d received from their son yesterday.

Louis rolled over, excited to cuddle into his husband, but to his disappointment, he was met with an empty bed. The sheets were cold next to him, telling him Harry had been gone for a while. He slowly sat up, the sheet pooled around his waist, and he listened out for any sign of his boys elsewhere in the house. A glance at his phone told him it was only seven in the morning, and Louis got up, stumbling to the bathroom to use the loo before he pulled on some boxers then headed out of his room.

He walked down the corridor, peeking inside Jacob’s room first, pleased to see the little boy was still sound asleep in his bed. His head was now at the other end of his bed, his mouth open and his arms were splayed outwards. Louis chuckled to himself as he pulled the door shut, hoping his son would sleep for a little while longer. He padded on, bare feet quiet as he went down the hallway, pausing outside another room, one they didn't use much at the moment.

He stilled in the doorway, smiling softly at the side of his husband sat cross-legged on the floor, only in his underwear like Louis. A variety of paint charts encircled him on the floor, along with a little pile of baby clothes that Harry had evidently been looking at. Louis softly cleared his throat, and Harry turned around, looking over his shoulder at Louis, beaming at him as their eyes met.

“Morning, baby,” Louis murmured as he walked in, sitting on the plush carpet beside Harry. The cots that had been delivered recently were still in their boxes leaning against the wall, and the pile of gifts they’d received yesterday sat on the opposite side of the room which was flooded with light thanks to the big windows along one wall. “What you up to?”

“Just thinking about the nursery,” Harry replied, reaching for Louis’ hand and dragging it onto his own thigh, lacing their fingers together. “Love that soon our daughters will be in here, Lou. They’re gonna sleep in their little cots, have drawers full of baby clothes…”

“I know,” Louis whispered back, staring around, imagining how it would look in a few months time when the babies were here, all of their things dotted around, making it real. “It’s going to be perfect, isn’t it?”

Harry nodded and rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, their sides pressed together. Louis’ arm went around Harry’s waist, and they sat there in the silence, lost entirely in their thoughts, visions of the future playing vividly in their minds. 


	84. Go Your Own Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry prepares to leave his family behind as he heads off on tour, but there's a few things he has to do first...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I've been quite poorly, signed off work, but now I'm finally getting there. I've also been busy with my new ABO fic, so I hope you've checked out the first three chapters of that.
> 
> Lots more to come with this, I promise I won't leave it so long to update next time. Enjoy! x

Harry sighed and stared down at the half packed suitcase sat on the floor of his and Louis’ bedroom. Somehow, just its mere presence was affecting Harry’s mood, and he looked away, wishing he could just remove everything Louis had lovingly packed so far and just settle back in bed, where he wanted to be. Preferably with his husband with him, if he was being honest.

He’d taken Louis and Jacob back to school earlier that morning, unable to believe that their young son was now in Year 4. He had a fantastic new teacher that Harry had liked immediately, Miss Whittaker, and Jacob had skipped in happily, hugging and kissing Harry before he rejoined his classmates. The difference in the boy from just this time last year made Harry’s heart swell, and he couldn’t wait to see how Jacob’s confidence grew throughout the year.

They’d sat Jacob down last night and talked to him about his dyslexia, about how there were going to be new things in the classroom to help him, and that he’d have a helper when they had English classes now to make sure he was able to access the work to the best of his ability. Jacob had taken it all on the chin, promising his dads that he would do the best he could at all times, and Harry had never felt more proud.

Louis was back in Year 6 again this year, and already Harry missed his boys being around the house all day. He only had another four days left at home before he boarded his flight out to Tokyo to start the Asian leg of his tour before he came back to Europe again. America were going to have to wait until mid next year at the earliest before Harry would even consider heading out on the road again. The thought of leaving Louis and their three children behind was unfathomable, and whenever Harry thought about it, a dull ache appeared in his chest until he managed to breathe through it.

He’d just stood up when the doorbell rang, and he slowly walked downstairs, hoping the noise hadn’t woken Percy who had been curled up in his basket when Harry had returned from the school run. He didn't recognise the shadow in the mottled glass either side of the front door, so he opened it, smiling when he saw a delivery man.

“Harry Tomlinson?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Need me to sign?”

The delivery man nodded and thrust a device at Harry, who happily scrawled his signature before he accepted the rather large box that was sat on the floor next to the man’s feet. Harry was sure he hadn’t ordered anything but he thanked the man, kicking the door shut before he walked through to the kitchen. He set the box on the table and grabbed some scissors, cutting through the tape holding the flaps together and gingerly opened them, peeking inside. It felt Christmas, and Harry was a bit of a sucker for presents.

“Oh my god…” he murmured, lifting out a couple of the things, admiring them for a moment before he sat them down, grabbing something else. When he’d emptied the box, he snapped a photo and sent it to Louis, far too excited about what he’d got for the babies. He knew that Louis might be a little cross about the fact he’d let slip about the babies at one of his fittings for his tour suits the other day, but now he’d been sent these adorable things for the girls and Jacob, he couldn’t even be angry with himself.

He grabbed the piles of clothes and ran upstairs to the half finished nursery, setting the things on the floor next to the presents they’d been given for the baby shower. He felt incredibly lucky that his friends and family had been so generous, but part of him couldn’t wait to start buying everything they needed when he got back off tour. He and Louis had decided to wait until then, but there was one thing he was eager to do before he left.

 

*****

“I’m home!” Louis called as he stepped into the house, smiling when he realised Harry had got dinner ready judging by the gorgeous smelling wafting through from their kitchen. He hung his jacket up on the rack fixed to the wall, and wandered through in his socks, his heart melting at the sight in front of him. Harry and Jacob were sat at the table together, giggling as they looked at Jacob’s reading book. The young boy was carefully reading, only stuttering a few times, and Harry’s hand on Jacob’s shoulder was the icing on the cake, gently guiding him along.

“And they lived happy-”

“Happily,” Harry corrected, and Jacob nodded quickly.

“Happily ever after. I liked that book! Miss Whittaker says I might go up to purple books if I keep practising! Can I read to you on Facetime when you’re in the China?”

“China, love, not the China,” Harry said as he got up, padding over to Louis. “And of course you can. We’ll work out the time difference and sort something out. No way am I going to miss out on your things because I’m on tour, okay? You and Dad are always the most important thing, I promise. Now pop it away, and we’ll serve up dinner. How was your day, beautiful?”

Louis accepted a quick kiss from Harry before he went off, pulling a delicious looking pasta bake from the oven. Louis quickly set the table with mats and cutlery as he spoke, an easy dance they’d done too many times to count now.

“Yeah, it was good. I’m spending the morning as a one-to-one with a little girl, Clara. She needs help to prepare her for the end of year assessments so they think if I work with her closely, it’ll help her get there. Daunting, but I like a challenge.”

“S’why you married me,” Harry grinned, pink oven gloves on his hands as he put the hot dish on the table, Jacob sliding into his seat. “Don’t touch that, it’s hot.”

“Well duh, you just got it out the oven!” Jacob piped up, and both Harry and Louis looked to him, eyebrows raised at his cheek. “What?”

“No need to be rude, young man.”

“Sorry, Dad,” Jacob replied, holding up his plate as Harry scooped up some pasta on it. It smelt delicious, and Jacob grabbed the pot of extra cheese from the middle of the table, sprinkling over a generous amount as Harry plated up food for himself and Louis.

“Did you show Jacob the things you got in the mail today?” Louis asked, scooping up some food and blowing on it, desperate to eat. “I can’t believe Gucci sent us stuff for our babies. When I had Jake, I was frantically wandering the aisles in Tesco at midnight, buying whatever was on sale.”

Harry smiled softly, and Louis lost himself in his memories for a moment. Faye had brought a small bag of baby clothes with her when she’d given him his son late at night, but even Louis in his naivety knew that wasn’t enough clothes to keep Jacob going. He’d ended up going to Tesco with a sleeping Jacob in his car seat, buying packs of sale babygros and vests, nappies and cans of formula, cringing as he knew the total amount was probably going to cripple him. They had been hard times, and he felt grateful that money wasn’t going to be a concern this time around.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now. Whether it’s Gucci or just H&M and Mothercare, you can buy what you want for our daughters, Lou.”

“And for me!” Jacob called out, a string of cheese connecting his mouth to his fork as he shovelled in his dinner as quickly as he could. “Oh! I got a party invitation today, Emma is gonna be nine in two weeks, and she’s having a party at the trampoline park. Can I go?”

“Probably, I’ll check the calendar,” Louis replied as Harry went quiet next to him, poking his food around on the plate. “Hey, you okay?”

Harry nodded, finally beginning to eat again. “Just… hate those reminders that I’m not going to be here for all this stuff soon enough. I know I have to tour and stuff, especially before the girls arrive, but I hate missing out on our family stuff. Oh, speaking of… I’ve got something for us to do after dinner- no, Louis, not like that, honestly.”

Louis giggled, spudding the final few pieces of pasta on his plate. “Sorry. What did you have in mind then?”

“Wait and see…” Harry teased. They ate the rest of their meal as they chatted with Jacob about his day, the little boy telling them eagerly about the topic of Castles they were going to be studying that term, and how his home learning project was to build some sort of castle. Apparently, Jacob and his friends had all decided they were going to do theirs with Lego, and he went off on a rather convoluted explanation on his plans, Harry and Louis nodding along although they’d long ago lost track of what their son was on about.

After the meal was finished, Louis scooped some ice-cream into a bowl for Jacob while Harry loaded the dishwasher, cleaning up together as always. Jacob got up and put his bowl into the dishwasher as well, earning him a ruffle of his hair from Harry before the three of them climbed the stairs, Jacob and Louis following Harry, wondering what he was up to.

“What are you up to?” Louis asked as he followed Harry into the nursery, cringing slightly at the disarray the room was in. It was hard to believe sometimes that there were going to be babies in this room soon, and he watched Harry step over to one of the cots they’d bought, still in their cardboard boxes. “Oh.”

“I thought we could make a start on these? I’d love it if we could get at least these done before I have to leave? I dunno, I’d just feel better if I knew these were done, than they were ready for our babies.” Louis smiled fondly at how pink Harry’s cheeks had gone at the request and he nodded, coming over and wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist, chin tilted up to look at him. “That alright?”

“Sounds perfect. We could do one tonight, and then the other one tomorrow?”

Harry nodded, and lowered his lips for a quick kiss, the pair breaking apart at the disgusted sound coming from Jacob.

“Gross. I’m not very good at building, do I have to stay?”

Louis shrugged, looking to Harry for an answer.

“Not if you don’t want to,” Harry replied, smiling at Jacob. “Did you want to go and play in your room while Daddy and I make a start? We could call you when we need your help?”

“Yeah, alright,” Jacob grinned. “I wanted to make a start on my Lego castle. It might take me a long time, and I want it to the bestest and tallest castle ever!” He ran out the room then, little footsteps thundering on the carpeted hallway as he did so. Louis chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m gonna go and get changed into something more comfy, you want to get the box open and the instructions out?”

Harry nodded and Louis headed off, poking his head into Jacob’s room before he went into his own, pleased to see the little boy cross-legged in the middle of his floor with what looked like every single piece of Lego he owned surrounding him. Louis stripped off his work clothes, throwing his shirt in the linen bin and hanging up his trousers before he yanked on some shorts and one of Harry’s t-shirts. He rejoined his husband in the nursery, looking at Harry who was on his knees, a sheet of instructions in his hand, white wooden pieces dotted around him.

“Does it seem easy?”

“Erm, I dunno. I’m not very good at this stuff. Usually, I get people in to do this stuff for me, I did when I moved into my first place, anyway. But I want to do this, Lou, for our daughters. I’m sure we can work it out together?”

He looked worried, and Louis sat next to him, snatching the instructions. “Well, luckily for you, I am a bit of an expert. I’ve been building Ikea furniture for Mum since I was a teenager. How hard can it be?”

“Don’t say that,” Harry moaned, slapping his forehead. “Right, what’s first?”

“First, we need to check we’ve got everything.” Harry groaned and Louis shushed him. “I know it’s boring, but we need to check everything is here, even all the screws and stuff. Come on.”

Together, they laid out all of the pieces, meticulously counting everything before Louis would let Harry anywhere near the tools, much to his frustration. Then, they sat together, working out the first few steps. Louis sat back slightly, seeing Harry wanted to retain some sort of control and he watched fondly as his husband picked up pieces of the cot, slotting them together and waiting while Louis came over with the necessary bolts and Alan keys to fasten things together. It was less complicated that they first feared, and soon enough, the shell of the cot was made.

“Oh my-” Harry said, still kneeling as finished fastening the bolt. “Lou…”

“I know, love,” Louis murmured, resting a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Feels real when you see this stuff, doesn’t it?”

Harry just nodded quietly, and Louis peeked around, unsurprised to see tears in his husband’s eyes. They finished up with the final few pieces, and Louis made sure the drop side feature worked before he let Harry fasten the last few bolts, the thing finally completed. It was a gorgeous wooden cot, not too expensive but of good enough quality it would last for years. The curved ends looked good, and Louis shut his eyes for a moment, imagining how it would look with one of his daughters laid inside.

“Can I…” Harry muttered, pointing over to where one of the cot mattresses was stood, still in its plastic wrapping. Louis nodded, and while Harry cut the plastic off, Louis unwrapped one of the soft pink bedsheets they’d bought, and they worked together, making up the cot before they lifted it over to where it was going to stand by the wall. “It looks great, doesn’t it? You think they’re going to be comfortable in there?”

“Definitely,” Louis grinned, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Jacob! Come and have a look!”

Jacob bounded into the room a minute later, a big smile on his face.

“Wow! Which of my sisters is going to sleep in this one?”

“Erm, no idea, love,” Louis chuckled, pulling Jacob over to stand in front of him. “Do you like it, though? Me and Dad did a good job, didn't we?”

“Yeah.” He sighed then, and Louis frowned.

“What’s up, little man?”

Jacob sighed again. “Well… it just feels like forever until my sisters are going to be here! I just want them here now cos I love them and I think they’re really going to love their room and stuff.”

Harry looked to Louis, and they locked eyes with each other, knowing they’d had similar thoughts. January, the due date of the babies, did seems a long way off, but they both knew there was no way they could hurry up the process. The girls would arrive when they were good and ready, and not a moment sooner.

“We know,” Harry began, hugging his son. “But soon, they’ll be here, and they’ll be in their cots, crying and asking for lots of hugs from their big brother.”

Jacob grinned up at Harry and Louis then, his face lighting up at Harry’s words. “I can’t wait! Can I help you with the other cot now? Pretty please, I wanna be able to tell my sisters I helped make their beds!”

Jacob was jumping up and down in excitement now, and Harry couldn’t resist chuckling at him, loving the enthusiasm of the little boy.

“Oh, go on, then. Now, while we’re building, anyone got any thoughts on the colour scheme for in here?”

*****

It was now two days before Harry was due to leave, and his suitcase was finally packed. Louis had printed off Harry’s boarding pass, and it was tucked inside the travel wallet Harry had for all of his travels, determined to keep things together. He’d spent the past two days at rehearsals, and was insistent that he spend the last two days at home with his family, enjoying the final few evenings together.

Harry had picked Jacob up from school and they’d gotten home as quickly as they could, ready for an evening of fun. To have a bit of time together before Harry headed off, they’d let Jacob choose a film to watch at the local cinema, and the boy had picked the latest Johnny English movie. Louis had rolled his eyes but Harry had been excited enough for the two of them, promising Jacob a big bucket of popcorn and whichever drink he chose.

“Let’s go and pick Daddy up then, the film starts in less than an hour!” Harry called, and Jacob bounded down the stairs, Harry’s heart in his throat as it always was when his son ran about the house so carelessly. Harry didn't like to think about the consequences if he tripped and fell, but Louis always reasoned Jacob had had enough warnings, and sometimes, kids had to learn the hard way. Harry knew his husband was right, but that didn't make the thought of Jacob hurting himself any easier to bear.

The drive to the school was quick, and almost as soon as Harry had pulled up the kerb, Louis ran out of the building, a wide smile on his face. He slipped into the passenger seat, turning to give his son a big smile before he pecked Harry’s lips quickly, pulling his seatbelt across his body.

“Ready then, my boys?”

Jacob cheered, and Harry navigated the car through the town, pulling up in the car park. They all held hands as they walked into the building, joining the back of the small queue. Jacob tugged on Harry’s hand as they waited patiently, and he looked down to his son with a smile.

“What’s up, Jake?”

“Can I have sweet popcorn, please? And a slushy?”

Harry nodded, and snuggled in as Louis crowded closer, sliding his hand into the back pocket of Harry’s jeans. He loved times like this when they were just a normal family, out and about, and his heart ached for a moment with the realisation he would be leaving this behind soon for a few months.

“Uh, hi, can I have two adults and one child for Johnny English please? And a medium sweet popcorn, a small sweet popcorn, two coffees and a blueberry slushy? Thank you.”

The girl behind the till nodded, blushing as she realised who Harry was, but she gathered the things he’d asked for. Harry picked up the small box of popcorn and handed it to Jacob, who took it with a polite “thanks, Dad!”, and Louis grabbed their coffees while Harry paid on his debit card. Tickets rammed in his shirt pocket, they walked into the right screen and settled down near the back, Jacob sat between them, slurping eagerly on his drink, suddenly shuddering.

“Brain freeze!” he squeaked out, making Louis and Harry laugh. He talked to his parents through the adverts, telling Louis and Harry about all of the films he wanted to see, and soon, the lights dimmed as the movie started. It was loud but Jacob was rapt, shovelling popcorn into his mouth at a rate of knots. Harry had a few from his bucket before handing it to Louis across Jacob’s lap, all three sat in silence.

Jacob laughed like a drain in the funny bits, and Harry wasn’t ashamed to say he was paying more attention to his son’s reaction than he was to the film in front of them. Jacob’s face lit up as he laughed, lips turning a strange shade of blue thanks to the drink, but it was around halfway through things changed. Jacob had eaten all of his popcorn and he tapped Harry’s bicep, getting his attention.

“Dad.”

“What is it?”

“Can I sit with you?”

Harry just nodded and watched as Jacob hopped down from his seat, coming to settle on Harry’s lap. His arms went easily around the waist of his son, and Louis got up, coming to sit in the newly vacated seat while Jacob relaxed back against his dad. As much as Jacob was too cool to kiss and cuddle Harry goodbye at the classroom every day now, he still loved cuddles, and it made Harry feel good to know Jacob still craved his hugs at times, even though he was going to somehow be nine years old in just over half a year. Louis smiled and rested on his hand on the edge of Harry’s thigh, keeping them connected as the rest of the film played.

As the lights went up when it finished, Louis and Harry stayed seated, seeing no point in fighting their way through the crowd to get out. Jacob was still laid back against Harry, uncharacteristically quiet.

“Everyone want to go out for dinner?” Harry asked, and Louis smiled and nodded, but Jacob shook his head, grabbing for Harry’s hand. “No, Jacob?”

“No, thank you. I just want to go home, please.”

Harry looked at Louis in concern and they stood up, Louis grabbing their rubbish as Harry and Jacob led the way out. They got to the car and drove home, the radio the only noise filling the car. Percy was asleep in the kitchen when they got in, and Jacob slumped down at the kitchen table, his chin resting on his palms, looking very unhappy. Louis woke the dog and took him into the garden as Harry crouched in front of his son, hands on his little legs as he got his attention.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Remember, if you don’t tell me, I can’t help.”

“You can’t help, anyway,” Jacob shrugged, trying to escape but Harry didn't let him. “Let me go-”

“No. Come on, talk to me, please?”

Jacob mumbled something that Harry didn't catch, and he leaned in, tucking two fingers under Jacob’s chin to make the boy look at him.

“A bit louder, please Jacob.”

Jacob sighed. “I don’t want you to go. I’m really gonna miss you, Dad. Please don’t go.”

“Oh, love.” Harry leaned in and pulled Jacob into a cuddle before he released him, staring into his son’s watery eyes. “I’m going to miss you so much, too. But Daddy and I have sorted out some time for you to come and see me very soon, and before you know it, I’ll be home and we’ll be having lots of fun together before the babies come. Then I’ll be home for a long time.”

“You promise?” Jacob asked, sniffing and wiping at his eyes with his sleeve.

“I promise,” Harry said, kissing his son quickly. “Now, how do you fancy pizza for tea? Shall we go and look in the freezer and see what we have?”

Jacob nodded and got off his chair, hugging Harry tightly for a moment.

“Love you so much, Dad.”

“I love you too, darling,” Harry said, kissing the top of his head before he followed Jacob to the freezer, watching the boy rummage around and emerging with two pizzas in his hands, a smile finally back on his face.

*****

“Goodnight, love,” Harry said the next night, kissing Jacob’s forehead as he pulled the duvet up over his body. They’d spent a wonderful final day together, and while Jacob had been tearful for a while, he was tired enough to want to go to bed. Harry had read him a few chapters of his story while Louis gave them some alone time, and now, it all felt very final. “I love you. Sweet dreams.”

“Love you too. Can I come in bed with you and Daddy in the morning?”

“Of course you can. Nanny’s coming at about ten to take me to the airport, so we definitely have some cuddle time first. Now, be a good boy and get to sleep, okay?”

“Okay, Dad. Night night.” Jacob smiled and blew Harry a kiss as he hovered in the doorway for a moment before he pulled the door closed. He walked downstairs and frowned when he saw no sign of his husband anywhere. The key was hanging in the back door which meant Louis had already been outside and come back in, so Harry turned, heading back upstairs as quietly as he could, flicking off the lights as he walked through the house.

He peered into Jacob’s room again as he went past, happy to see the little boy was now snoring away, mouth open as he slept soundly, and Harry closed the door softly, heading back on his way to find his husband. Their bedroom door was closed, and Harry quietly pushed the handle down, slipping inside and shutting the door behind him. The room was in a dim glow thanks to the bedside lamps, and Harry slowly turned around, stunned by what he saw.

Louis was stood looking out of the window, his back facing Harry, mainly in shadow. However, what Harry saw took his breath away. His figure was silhouetted in the darkness, and Harry could make out the lines of Louis’ body as clear as day, a body he knew almost better than his own.  

Harry just stood and stared at his husband for a moment. He took his time letting the view in front of him sink in, appreciating every single thing he could see. Louis’ shoulders, the way his torso led down to the sinful curve of his waist, how his hips flared out and down into his thick thighs, possibly Harry’s favourite part about him. He was stood with his palms flat on the windowsill, one hip cocked out to the side as he stared out over the street, and Harry had never felt so lucky.

He held his breath as he walked further into the room, closer to where Louis was stood, and he could see Louis turn ever so slightly to glance over his shoulder before he gaze shifted back outside, letting Harry get closer. As he did, Harry stared down at what Louis was wearing, something Harry recognised. He glanced over to the bed, seeing the gift bag for the shop they’d visited together just before the baby shower, and he swallowed heavily, bringing a hand down to palm himself where he was already getting affected. He took a few more steps, coming to stand behind Louis, framing his hips with his hands, letting them rest there as he gently leaned in, kissing the side of his husband’s neck as Louis tilted his head to the side, affording Harry more room.

“Louis, you look…” Harry trailed off, his mouth suddenly dry as he ran his hands down and over his husband’s hips and down to his backside where he was wrapped in the softest underwear. It was the pastel blue pair that Harry had chosen for him, sure it would complement Louis’ tanned skin perfectly. He’d been right, and the soft cotton cupped Louis’ bum perfectly, the lace trim edges framing his cheeks and waist. “You are stunning, baby.”

Slowly, Louis turned around and looked up at his husband, his tattoos dark against his skin as he bit his lip, cheeks already red, cock hard and straining at the fabric. Louis didn't say a word, but he brought his hand up, cupping Harry’s cheek before he pulled him down into a kiss. It was soft at first, tentative as Louis’ lips worked against Harry’s, tasting him gently. It was Louis who deepened the kiss as well, his tongue slowly pushing into Harry’s mouth, making the pair of them moan.

Louis’ free hand came down and worked over him, squeezing and pushing against Harry’s bulge, smiling slightly behind the kiss as Harry hardened under his touch, already desperate for more, knowing this would be the last time they had to be intimate for at least a few weeks, until Louis and Jacob came out to see him in Europe. Harry’s hand snaked up Louis’ bare back, tugging gently at his hair as he led them to the bed, pushing Louis down, eyes dark as he took in the sight of his husband.

“They look fucking amazing on you,” Harry said, voice husky as he opened the buttons of his shirt, letting it flap open. “You look beautiful, baby.”

“You have good taste,” Louis shrugged, propping himself up on his elbows as he watched Harry undress himself, clothes falling quickly to the floor. Louis smirked as he snaked a hand inside the knickers on his body, stroking himself, too aware of Harry’s eyes on his every move. Harry pushed his own boxers down, shaking his head as Louis hooked his fingers in the waistband of his knickers.

“No. Leave them on.”

Harry crawled onto the bed then, coming up to Louis, pausing as he hovered over him for a moment. He could feel Louis’ hand touching himself, knuckles grazing tantalisingly over Harry’s erection as he slowly lowered himself into a kiss, small pecks at first. Harry was teasing Louis, but he was teasing himself too. He wanted to drag this out, make it last so he could remember every second of it. Just as Louis tried to part his lips and give Harry entrance, Harry stopped, pushing up on his hands and onto his knees, looking down at his husband.

Harry settled between Louis’ splayed thighs, hands on them as he touched his skin, admiring Louis’ body from this angle. He lowered his head and pressed a quick kiss to Louis’ knee, then the other before he trailed soft kisses down the inside of each thigh, not going anywhere near where Louis wanted him to be. Harry continued kissing all over Louis’ body, from his hips, over the curve of his stomach, his chest and nipples, over his tattooed collarbones where he sucked a mark, licking over it when he was done.

“Want to leave some marks so you remember I’ve been here, kissing and touching your gorgeous body,” Harry murmured as Louis nodded, hands scrabbling against the sheet underneath him, breaths heavy. Harry loved how affected Louis already was, and he couldn’t wait to show him just how much he wanted him. “Gonna mark you up, show the world you belong to me, that no-one but me can ever have you. You want that?”

“Please-” Louis begged, his body shivering as Harry licked around one of his nipples. Harry was leaning over Louis again, caging him in against the mattress, and he rolled his hips, swallowing down Louis’ moan as their erections pressed together, giving them both some much needed friction. Harry captured his lips again as he ground down a little harder, sure the knickers were going to be damp with their combined precome by now.

“Harry, please-” Louis pleaded again, tugging at Harry’s hair, making him rise up slightly. “I want you… want to feel you inside me.”

“You can have that, Lou. You can have whatever you want,” Harry mumbled, fumbling between the pillows where he knew a bottle of lube lay. He pulled it and kissed Louis hard for a moment before he sat up, Louis putting his feet on the bed either side of Harry’s thigh. It was a familiar position to both of them, and Harry pushed the knickers to one side enough he could see Louis’ hole. He touched it gently, Louis whimpering under the pressure, and Harry tried hard to ignore the throb of his own cock, desperate for something now.

Louis arched his back as Harry pressed the first lube-coated finger inside, the other hand trailing over his thigh, pressing gently against the skin.

“I want you to get a tattoo here,” Harry whispered, pressing a fingertip down on the soft, pale skin of Louis’ inner thigh, somewhere he enjoyed sucking love bites into Louis’ skin, just for the two of them. “Want my name on you so I know you’re mine… these thighs are all for me.” He twisted his hand then, withdrawing his finger and pressing inside with two. “Would you do that?”

“Yeah,” Louis breathed out, hissing through the stretch of two of Harry’s fingers now buried deep inside him. “Would love your name on me- fuck… another Haz, come on…”

Harry complied, using a little more lube before he pressed three fingers, watching with mesmerised eyes as Louis’ body stretched around him, letting him inside. He fucked him with three fingers, getting a little more rough as Louis spread his thighs apart, giving Harry more room with his body. The way the elastic side of the knickers was fighting back against Harry’s hand made the whole thing hotter, and he grabbed for the front of Louis’ underwear, exposing his cock before he grasped it, thumbing over the head, making Louis cry out.

“Baby… need you to be quiet, can’t wake up Jake…”

“Sorry, just… feels so good- fuck, please- I’m ready, Harry-”

Harry nodded and pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the sheet as he quickly coated his cock in lube. Louis was staring up at him reverently from where he lay on the bed, waiting to be taken by his husband.

“I love you so much,” Harry murmured as he shuffled forward on his knees, pulling the knickers to one side and rubbing the wet head of his cock over Louis’ hole for a moment, watching it flutter underneath his touch. Slowly, he leaned in and pushed inside, sighing heavily as he buried himself in Louis’ tight heat. He was warm around Harry, and Louis reached out, holding Harry’s hand as he bottomed out.

“So good,” Louis whispered into the darkness, locking eyes with his husband. “Come here and kiss me.”

Harry nodded and arranged their bodies so he was pressed chest to chest with Louis, kissing him as he started to roll his hips gently, not wanting to end things too soon. Louis felt perfect around him, and he dipped his tongue inside, tasting him as he fucked him. Their fingers were entwined together, and Harry felt Louis’ legs come up and around his waist as their bodies rocked slowly, feeling every inch of each other.

“Gonna miss you so much,” Harry said quietly against Louis’ lips. “Louis, I don’t know how I’m gonna-” he cut off, feeling too emotional to speak anymore for fear he would cry.

“I know. Me too. But we’ll be okay. We’ll always be okay. We have so much to look forward to-” Louis said, his voice low with lust as Harry continued to move inside him in firm thrusts, not taking it too hard or fast just yet. “Got our babies. Got Jake. Got each other. Forever, yeah? You and me, a forever thing.”

Harry just nodded, crashing his lips against Louis’ as he did one hard thrust, kissing Louis deeply to keep him quiet. They didn't say anymore, just stayed quiet as Harry fucked Louis slowly and carefully, taking note of how his body felt, how soft his skin was, how warm he was inside. His wedding band was digging in to Harry’s fingers but he didn't mind - the slight pain was just a reminder of their commitment, of how much he loved the man underneath him, so open and loving and gentle with him.

“Inside,” Louis whispered, and Harry started to pick up the pace, too aware he was getting closer to the end himself now. Louis felt too good to keep holding back, and Harry needed to come, to fill him up. He got onto his elbows as he fucked Louis slightly harder but still full of love, staring deeply into his eyes as his hips drove forward, over and over, Louis’ hard cock bobbing between their bodies. “Fuck, make me come-”

“I’m going to-” Harry said through gritted teeth, reaching back and grabbing Louis’ thigh, hoisting it a little higher, letting him in deeper. Louis cried out again, and then bit down on his lip, aware he was being too loud. Harry pulled back and thrust forward again, repeating the motion a few more times until he was on the precipice of his orgasm. He reached down, wrapping his hand around Louis’ hard length, collecting precome on the pad of his thumb before he sucked it between his lips, humming at the taste of Louis as he fucked him, Louis’ cheeks red and eyes dark, underwear almost stretched out of proportion around his body. “Fuck, Louis-”

“Yes, want you to come, please-”

“Louis- love you, fuck, oh god-” He shuddered as he came hard, his release pumping into Louis with each thrust of his hips. He kept going through his orgasm, Louis just laying there and grabbing Harry’s hand, holding on tight. Harry finally exhaled, stilling with his cock inside Louis’ body, feeling the familiar high that only came with an orgasm of that strength. Without a second thought, he pulled out and quickly scooted down the bed, down between Louis’ thighs and pulled his cheeks apart, diving in with his tongue.

“Oh fuck!” Louis cried out, kicking out his legs as Harry’s tongue lapped at him, taking away the come already starting to leak from his body. “Harry, fuck-”

“I just did,” Harry muttered before he dived back in, working the point of his tongue over Louis’ rim, teasing how he knew his husband loved. “Not gonna taste you for too long, wanna remember-”

“Then fucking touch me-” Louis begged, and Harry’s hand came up, stroking as he licked around, pressing kisses to his hole before he laved over it again, pushing forward so the tip slipped inside, his entrance pliant thanks to Harry’s cock being there just moments before. “You fucking- you’re amazing-”

Harry just hummed and carried on, stroking more roughly as Louis’ body arched, closer to his own orgasm now. Harry was relentless, moving his tongue up now over Louis’ balls, kissing around the base of his cock as his hand kept working to bring him to orgasm.

“Come for me, baby-” Harry muttered, kissing the tip of Louis’ cock.

“On your face-” Louis stuttered out, and Harry quickly nodded, wanting to give his husband what he wanted. They shuffled positions quickly, Harry laying on his back as Louis straddled his chest, strong thighs holding him in place as Louis’ hand flew over his cock, muttering obscenities as their eyes locked, Harry opening his lips just as Louis started to come, coating his face, his eyes fluttering shut. “Oh shit- Harry, you’re so fucking- oh yeah.”

Harry stayed where he was until he knew Louis was finished, and gently opened his eyes, aware he probably looked utterly debauched. Louis just stared at him, his cock now soft between his legs, his fingers coming up to run through a streak of come on his husband’s cheek.

“So pretty,” he muttered, licking his fingers for a moment. They got up together, holding hands as they walked through to the bathroom, Harry pulling Louis in front of him as he stared at the pair of them in the mirror. He looked a mess, Louis’ come streaked over his face, his hair a mess from Louis’ fingers tangling it, but at the same time, they looked perfect together. Louis reached for a flannel, running it under the hot tap before he wrung it out, gently wiping it over Harry’s face before he kissed his lips, wiping himself down quickly.

They silently shared a shower together, kissing and touching under the spray before they got out, warm towels around their hips as they dried off next to each other, not wanting to be apart. Louis blow dried Harry’s hair for him, gentle fingers working through his curls until they were dry. They slid into bed, boxers on now, and cuddled up, Louis held tight against Harry’s body.

“I’m really going to miss you,” Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis’ head that was now resting on his chest. “You know I wish I could stay, right?”

“I know,” Louis whispered back, a hand flat on his chest, fingers running through the sparse hairs there. “But I’ll be here waiting, okay? And Jake and I will fly out and see you soon enough. Then there’s FaceTime and texts and stuff… it’s not like we’ll be completely apart. And you know what they say.”

“What’s that then?”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Louis tilted his chin back at those words and kissed Harry softly.

“Not sure my heart could get any fonder of you,” Harry said back, pulling Louis even closer into a hug. “Goodnight, my love. I love you.”

“Not as much,” Louis replied, kissing Harry’s chest. “Sweet dreams, Harry.”

*****

“Oh, I nearly forgot, hold on!” Jacob called as Harry put his suitcase by the front door, ready for when his mum arrived within about half an hour. As promised, Jacob had crept into their bed at just after six in the morning, and Harry had stirred, holding open the quilt for the little boy to slip inside, cuddling up close to his chest while Louis curved around his back, arm thrown over his waist as they all fell asleep again until the alarm went off. Jacob had got upset, not wanting to get out of bed, but Harry had persuaded him with the promise of pancakes, which they’d all eaten together at the table.

Harry and Jacob had taken Percy for a final walk together, holding hands as they chatted, Harry lamenting over how much he would miss the simple pleasures of life like this. He knew Louis and Jacob would be fine without him. They’d managed for six years before Harry had come along, and Louis was a more than capable parent and adult but still, it felt wrong to leave his family behind for so long, especially with so much to come for the pair of them. He knew realistically it was more important for him to be home when his daughters arrived, and getting touring out of the way now was the best solution by his family, his fans and everyone else.

Harry sat on the sofa while Jacob ran off upstairs, the sound of drawers opening and slamming shut coming down the stairs before Jacob reappeared again, a blue packet in his hands. Harry smiled and beckoned Jacob over, patting his leg for the little boy to hop onto, which he did.

“I, uh, I got this with Nanny Anne for when you goed away. It was all my idea. You can open it now, and you can have the letter when you get on the plane.”

Harry nodded and set the little card to one side, slowly opening the parcel in his hands. He could feel Louis’ eyes watching him, and he parted the shiny blue paper, pulling out what looked like a frame. He could only see the back, and he turned it over, tears immediately filling his eyes.

“Don’t you like it?” Jacob questioned, worried when he saw the tears in his dad’s eyes.

“Oh, god, no, I love it. It’s… it’s amazing, sweetheart. Thank you so much.”

Harry looked down at the photo, swallowing back the lump in his throat. It was a photo of Jacob that had clearly been taken at the baby shower, as the glittery pink tattoos were adorning his arms, sparkling in the sunshine. He had the biggest smile on his face, and a little photo clutched in each hand, either side of his head. Harry took in the sight of the scan photos, one of each of his daughters from the angles the sonographer had managed to get, and his heart melted.

“It’s so you can have a picture of all of your children on tour, so you won’t forget us. You can show everyone your three kids, me and my sisters.”

“I really love it. It’s the perfect present, I’ll make sure to put it on my bedside table everywhere I go.” He ran his finger down the glass before he handed it over to Louis, letting his husband look before he took it back, wrapping it in a t-shirt and tucking it into his carry-on bag. “Can I have another hug before I go?”

Jacob nodded and snuggled back against Harry, where they stayed until the doorbell rang. Harry felt his heart start to race, knowing it was his mum as Louis got up, greeting her with a jovial tone that Harry knew he was only putting on to cheer up Jacob. Anne came in and waved at her son and grandson, hovering out of the way. He and Louis had decided it would be best for everyone if just Anne took him to the airport, avoiding the drama that the three of them going somewhere like the airport inevitably brought, and avoid traumatising Jacob at the same time.

“Right, I think it’s time for me to get going,” Harry said reluctantly, holding Jacob close again for a moment. “I’m going to miss you, but I promise I’ll call you when I land in Japan. It might be a while, remember how we talked about how long the trip is on the plane?”

“Lots of hours,” Jacob nodded, a serious look on his face. Harry could see he was struggling to hold back the tears but he felt so proud of him. “Promise you’ll call and text and buy me some presents?”

“Of course I promise, I couldn’t go more than a day without talking to my boy,” Harry said, squeezing Jacob tight as he finally got to his feet. Jacob ran over to Anne, greeting her with a hug as Louis laced his fingers with Harry’s, dragging him into the kitchen for their own private goodbye. Louis didn't say a word as he pulled Harry down into a deep kiss. Harry went easily, letting Louis take control of it.

It was a goodbye kiss, and I’ll miss you kiss, a come back to me soon kiss. By the time they were done, both men had tears streaming down their faces, but Harry didn't care. He was going to miss Louis more than he could put into words, and the thought of leaving made him feel sick.

“Don’t drag it out,” Louis whispered, wiping Harry’s tears with his thumbs. “I love you, and I miss you already. Come home soon, okay?”

“I wish I didn't have to leave,” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips, his hands gripping Louis’ waist, not wanting to let him go. “I don’t wanna be without you, Lou.”

“You’re not,” Louis replied, bringing up Harry’s left hand. “See this? I put this here because I love you, and you’re mine, forever. Get this tour out of the way, and then we can have our babies, yeah? Our beautiful girls, completing our family. It’s all I want, Haz.”

“You’re all I want, you and our children,” Harry said as he kissed Louis again, pressing their lips together roughly for the final time. “Right. I should, uh, I should go.”

Louis nodded, and they walked back into the main room, Jacob running at Harry and jumping into his arms as they arrived. Louis and Anne took the bags outside while Harry and Jacob cuddled again, and they wandered outside, pleased it was a sunny day. Louis slammed the boot shut and Harry let Jacob wriggle down, opening his arms for Louis to come into. Anne got into the car, giving the family a moment alone as they hugged, Harry fighting back his tears, knowing Jacob would be more upset if he cried too.

“I love you, both of you, so much,” he said, his voice husky with tears. “I’ll see you really soon, okay?”

Both Louis and Jacob nodded as Harry kissed both of them for a final time, turning away before he could change his mind.

“Bye darlings. I’ll call, I promise. Love you!”

“Love you Daddy, I miss you so much,” Jacob said before he started to cry. Louis picked him up, the boy crying against Louis’ shoulder now as Harry got into the car, trying not to break. “Bye…”

“Bye sweetheart,” Louis called, blowing him a kiss, clearly struggling to hold himself together. “See you soon, okay?”

“See you, Lou,” Harry mumbled, a stray tear tumbling over and running down his cheek. Anne took his hand, squeezing as she put the car into drive, Harry pressing the button to bring the window down. “Bye, loves. See you…”

He kept waving out the window as Anne drove away, leaving a little bit of Harry’s heart behind, hoping the next few months would pass quickly so he could get back home to his family, where he belonged.


End file.
